A Better Tomorrow
by Twilightobsessed09
Summary: Bella Swan leaves her abusive life behind as Marie Higginbotham-Carter to embark on a journey of finding her true self. When she gets stranded along the way, she discovers a love she never knew existed for her. J/B, OOC, matures themes.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: SM owns all recognizable characters. No copyright infringement is intended. The plot herein is mine. ****Abbymickey24, Xo Bella Italiana oX, beanothercullen and everyone who helped me with these chapters when time allowed it, thank you. **

**This story contains mature themes and is suitable for those eighteen and over. ****Thanks to christag_banners for making the awesome banner and letting me adopt it.**

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><p><em>Inspiration for chaps and more can be found on story's blog. Just go through my main blog (address on my profile) and click on the 'A Better Tomorrow' link.<em>

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><p><em>This is inspired by one of my favorite movies, "Sleeping with the Enemy"<em>

**Summary: **Bella Swan leaves her abusive life behind as Marie Higginbotham-Carter to embark on a journey of finding her true self. When she gets stranded along the way, she discovers a love she never knew existed for her. J/B, matures themes.

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><p><em><strong>Bella<strong>_

The slam of the door woke me up.

I sat up in bed and looked around. Did Jasper forget something? He had become so scatterbrained over the last few days I wouldn't put it past him. With my delivery date drawing close, Jasper was going crazy. He was nervous and I was hoping that it was just a first time father thing. I hoped he wouldn't be like this when we had more kids since we both knew that our daughter would just be the first. We wanted a house full of kids. And I wanted him to be more levelheaded next time.

This was getting nuts! Jasper was forgetting things as simple as his keys or any one of his phones on a daily basis.

It stunned me; because as a doctor, he could remember the least thing about a patient's chart and as a ranch owner, he could remember anything that had to do with the ranch. But not his keys, phones, or laptop. No, those he forgot. Or so he said. Sometimes, I think it was just a ploy Jasper used so he could come home and check up on me since he had wholeheartedly agreed with my OB, Zafrina, about putting me on bed rest.

I had stubbornly disagreed. I was fine. Our little girl was fine.

But with the information Zafrina was privy to about my abusive past, she thought it was best. We had been working together to ensure a healthy pregnancy up until now and Zafrina called it 'finishing strong'.

When they had put it like that, I half agreed to behave and remain in bed. At least, I did when Jasper was home; because when he was here, I couldn't go anywhere. He waited on me hand and foot; especially nowadays, seeing as I was half way there and could go into labor any day now. Which made Jasper nervous. He was worried about everything that could go wrong, and all he wanted was what was best for me and our daughter and a safe delivery.

I got up and headed for the door; waddling out of the bedroom to go and see if I could help Jasper look for whatever it was he came back for. Even though I knew once we met face-to-face downstairs, he would send me back up here or escort me himself. But I was going to be stubborn and help him first.

Reaching the top of the stairs, I grabbed a hold of the railing, but before I placed my free hand on my lower back, my daughter kicked.

"Ow," I muttered, rubbing my tummy. "Come on, behave. We're just going to help daddy and then I'll get us something to eat."

She calmed and with a sigh, I supported my lower back and kept a good grip on the railing as I carefully descended the stairs.

Talking to our unborn daughter was Jasper's doing. I was following into his footsteps. But I have found it comforting to talk to her because it made me feel closer to her somehow.

When Jasper was home, he would talk to my stomach. He said he wanted her to know his voice. And the miraculous thing was, she responded. I would get kicks or feel movement whenever Jasper spoke. She was happy, and they were my miracle.

To this day, I still couldn't believe I was here; happy and in love.

Another surprising factor to Jasper talking to our daughter was that she followed whatever order he dealt. I could definitely thank him for the less swift kicks I got when he was around. My daughter was already daddy's little girl.

When we found it was a girl, Jasper promptly said that he had to become a better shot because she was going to be as beautiful as her mother, and boys will be lining up for miles to date her. He was going to go crazy. I laughed it off, but Jasper was serious.

"She's going to be as pretty as you, darlin'," he had said. "She'll bring men to their knees."

I was at the bottom of the steps, when I signaled out, "Jasper, baby, did you forget something?" I wanted him to know I was down here to help and then grab something to eat, and head back upstairs. Maybe he won't argue with that.

Yeah, right.

He was going to take me back upstairs and then make me something, serve me in bed, grab what he came back for and leave again. I rolled my eyes at the truth of my thoughts because Jasper was like an open book to me now.

"Jasper? Did you hear me? Where are you?"

I got no response, which was strange. Usually, he would have shouted back by now.

I shrugged it off and went to his office. He was probably in there, obsessing. But when I got there, there was no one.

Where was he? I knew he heard me, so where did he go?

"Jasper, come on, answer me," I said, walking back to the living room. I was going to head to the kitchen and get some food. This was weird. "Alright, I'll just make myself something to eat and then go back to bed," I shouted.

Maybe if I said something pleasing, he'd stop looking and answer me. "Jasper?"

_No response. What was going on?_

I was about to pass the front door, when I noticed it ajar and went to it. I was going to close it because this was nuts. I was hearing things. Jasper wasn't here.

_But why was the door ajar? _

I shook my head at the thought and went to close it anyways when two things happened.

One, I heard Jasper's voice outside the door, muttering something about forgetting his phone; which I spot on the end table.

And two, I was reaching for the phone when a pale hand covered mine, making my heart stutter and my body shudder with the familiar cold I always felt when _he_ touched me.

No. Not now. I was so close. But those thoughts would be for later, if there was one, because I slowly raised my eyes to meet the icy cold gaze of my husband. James was here. He had come for me.

"Hello, Marie."

_**Next: From Marie to Bella. **_


	2. From Marie To Bella

**Disclaimer: SM owns all recognizable characters. No copyright infringement is intended. The plot herein is mine. ****No plagiarism! **

**This story contains mature themes and is suitable for those eighteen and over.**

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><p><em><strong>All Inspirational pics and songs for chapters, bio of the characters, and more can be found on the story's blog. Just go through my main blog (address on my profile) and click on the 'A Better Tomorrow' link. There is also my FB group where teasers and story updates are posted. <strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter One: From Marie to Bella<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, December, 2010, 3 am, Sacramento, California<strong>_**…**

I watched his sleeping form rise and fall with each breath, taking comfort in the fact that he was fast asleep, but wondering when I could make my escape. Phil was waiting for me, and if I was going to go, now would be the time.

James groaned in his sleep, tightening his hold on my naked body and I held my breath. When he was asleep, it was the only time I could count on him not hitting me.

The right side of my body still ached from the beating he dealt out a couple of hours ago, and because I had been lying on it for the last three hours or so, I was in a tremendous amount of pain.

But I didn't dare complain.

Earlier this evening, I had received a "lesson" after he'd arrived home and was displeased that I'd yet again prepared chicken for dinner.

The funny thing was, he was the one who had demanded that I make Chicken Parmesan before he left for work this morning. However, by the time he got back home, it was very clear from the punches and kicks I received that he had changed his mind.

After that 'lesson', I was sure he was done with me for the night. But I was wrong.

When he decided that it was time for bed, James wanted us to make love. I foolishly tried to talk him out of it, but he wasn't having it, and I was thrown down on the bed and he took what he wanted from my body.

When he was finished, I was told to go clean myself up because I was filthy, and then, we were to lie in each other's arms while we slept.

The room was freezing and the fact that I was naked didn't help matters one bit. My teeth were chattering, and my limbs were screaming in protest from my lack of movement. While my bladder felt like it was about to burst.

Looking up at the clock on the nightstand, I sighed in frustration. It was time to go. This would be my one and only chance to do this, and if I wanted out of this hellhole, I had to make a move now!

Another opportunity like this wouldn't come around again. I had to run now!

If I stayed, eventually, James would kill me and I wanted to live. I was sick of this. I was sick of the abuse and humiliation. I was more than this.

I had to take my life back.

_Six years._

It has been six long years of this and I was slowly dying inside. I wasn't being blinded by my love for James. I was _never_ in love with James. This was a sham of a marriage brought on by my willingness to trust a mother that didn't care about my welfare and a cruel bastard who I knew killed the one guy I have ever cared about.

So when my stepfather Phil discovered the abuse I was living with and opted to help me, I took the chance and said, 'yes'.

Phil had always been great to me. He was married before my mom and his son, Micah, treated me like family. Micah and I used to talk before James, but not anymore.

James hated Phil and everything that went with him.

Before Phil, no one did a thing to help me. There were no more friends to turn to, because James alienated me from them. He thought that I didn't need anyone but him. So Phil, Micah, and no one except for my mother knew nothing about the hell I was living in.

And with a mother, who wanted me to stay with a horrible man because he benefited her lifestyle, I had nowhere to go.

Mom was a cheerleader for James. She would constantly tell me to stop my complaining and be happy for the wealth and luxury I'd been lucky enough to marry into. She said that with me being such a plain girl, I should be grateful that a man like James was even interested in me. Much less! He married me.

It was funny, because I never felt plain or ugly around Garrett. With him, I was the most beautiful girl in the world. Nothing about me was plain, not to him.

However, when James sank his claws into me, he made sure I understood that no one would ever love me because I wasn't worth it. He was the only one who wanted me, and I would be with him until the day I died.

When I first met James and he expressed his interest in me, I turned him down. I was in college, and I cared deeply for my best friend, Garrett. I didn't want anyone but him. We skirted around each other, until we gave up and decided that we wanted each other, but we would wait, and promised each other that by the end of college, we would be together.

But it wasn't to be.

Garrett died, and I got stuck in hell with the devil for my husband and a demon lover for a mother.

But tonight, my stepdad, Phil, would be my savior.

Maybe it was God, maybe he'd finally answered my silent prayers, but after a particularly bad beating that left me hospitalized, Phil came to see me. I knew he didn't know what was going on and just thought it was as Mom said, I fell down a flight of stairs.

Phil's business kept him out of town a lot, mostly overseas. However, he was the closest thing I had to a father seeing as my mother kept me away from mine for our 'safety' as she had claimed over the years.

Phil was a great person and was very kind to me, both when I was younger and now.

So when he questioned me while I laid there in the hospital, I wanted to answer. God knows I wanted to tell him everything, but I was afraid.

However, it was a good thing I didn't say anything because James had been listening and after Phil left, he nearly choked me to death telling me he would kill me if I ever talked.

But when Phil came over one day, weeks after I had left the hospital, wanting to invite me to come and visit Micah and his wife, Celeste in France, I lost it that day.

I broke down and told Phil everything, right after he asked if I was okay. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I was lost and if he was to tell James as my mother does, then it would be the death of me. But I couldn't care anymore, I was losing myself in this hell and I wanted out.

I couldn't die here.

Phil immediately offered his help, and begged me to stay silent and wait a little while.

So I did.

By the time, Phil returned a week later, he had a plan, and also, he had the truth. He shared that Garrett was killed by an overdose, but it wasn't self induced as the reports claimed.

A fact I knew, because Vicky had shared that.

James just couldn't stand the fact that another person was interested in me and I wanted Garrett over him. Phil expressed how sorry he was but I didn't tell him that I already knew. I was aware that James was the one who killed Garrett to eliminate the competition.

Nevertheless, Phil further shocked me when he told me about my dad, Charlie.

Mom had said, on the occasions I asked her, that Charlie was abusive and she had to take me and run. She changed my birth name from Isabella Marie Swan to Marie Higginbotham because she couldn't stand for Charlie to get his hands on me because he was diabolical.

Phil said otherwise.

He told me he had been to Forks, upon learning of my abuse a week ago and he met Charlie.

Mom had been lying her ass off.

Charlie never hit her or me. He loved us. Mom just couldn't stand the fact that she would be 'trapped' in small town life in Forks.

She needed more than that life so when Charlie went to work one night, she must have left because when he got home after his shift at the police station, Mom and I were gone; leaving a distraught father behind.

Mom had lied. Everything I had done, had been for her or because of her and we were only here, with me stuck in an abusive marriage, because she needed more.

From ballet to marrying James, I had given her everything.

So Phil and I came up with a plan for me to leave. He said to trust him and to get ready to move when he said so and his order came tonight before James had gotten home from his shift at the hospital.

I had a small backpack packed already and just waiting to go.

However, my plan was almost ruined tonight because of the beating I had to endure earlier on. But that experience only proved to me that I had to leave, and leave now!

With a deep breath, I carefully extracted myself from James's arms.

Feeling me stir, his sleepy voice croaked, "Where are you going?"

"Umm…I have to go to the bathroom," I whispered, nervously. "I ne…I need to pee."

He grunted, but made no move to stop me. Instead, he let me go, and turned his back to me.

Slowly, I made my way out of bed, gripping my sides in pain while walking into the bathroom, where I gently closed the door behind me.

Once inside, I relieved myself while psyching myself up to get a move on. Then, with a deep sigh and hoping like hell that James had fallen back into a deep sleep, I said a quick prayer and got up. I used a feminine wipe on myself and threw it away before turning and carefully making my way out the door. I didn't bother to flush the toilet or even wash my hands because I was too afraid that the sound of the water would wake him up.

Opening the door, I tiptoed into the bedroom, and sighed in relief when I heard his loud snores filling the room. I stealthy made my way from the room and without even considering putting anything on, I ran to the kitchen.

My body screamed against the swift movement, but I bit my lip and bore it while heading to the pantry for my backpack. Inside, I quickly opened it up, grabbing a pair of panties and throwing them on along with my jeans, a t-shirt and my boots. I didn't have much in there; just another pair of panties, a bra, another t-shirt and a box of tampons, along with my snacks.

Walking out of the pantry, I nervously looked around the room, glad that Vicky wasn't staying over or else this couldn't have worked, and made my way to the back door. I smiled to myself as I punched in the new code because James thought I didn't know it.

As the little light turned green, and I opened the door, I could vividly hear my own screams from every punch, kick, and slap I had ever received in this house. I could hear myself hollering from being grabbed too roughly or raped. Then I remembered James' voice berating me or even laughing at me when I'd fallen down after the impact of one of his blows.

So with a sigh of determination, I stepped out the door, and made a run for it.

I ran until the pain caught up with me, but I didn't look back. I didn't stop. I just ran.

When I finally got to the spot where Phil told me to meet him, I was out of breath and in pain. He was waiting for me in his Mercedes and flashed the lights twice, signaling me.

I tried to walk to the car, but I collapsed half way. Phil got out and ran over, picking me up and loading me and my bag in the car, before jumping in and driving off.

We drove for a while until he pulled into a motel a little outside of town and parked.

"Come on," he said, exiting the car and I followed suit.

He took my bag from me and walked over to a Silver 2010 Toyota Corolla that was parked over from where we were parked.

"It's yours," he said, chirping the alarm and unlocking the car, before handing me the keys.

I didn't know what to say as tears streamed down my face. "Thank you," I croaked out. "I don't know how to repay you."

"Yes, you do," Phil said with determination.

"How?"

"By staying alive and never letting James hurt you again." He smiled and I hugged him.

I could hear his sniffles and I cried even harder. I had someone who cared.

We parted and Phil helped me in the car. "Be careful, Bella."

"I will."

Phil smiled and handed me a medical kit and five thousand in cash, telling me, one day, he'd do more; when I was safe.

But before I could leave, he stopped me from closing the door, and told me to hold on. He ran back to his car and grabbed an envelope and made his way back to me.

"Here you go, Bella." I looked up at him, shocked to hear him using my birth name and I sobbed when I opened the envelope to find that name on my new documents.

Phil warned me again to stay out of sight, amidst my tears and to get as far away as possible and stay gone.

"Thank you," I said, lost on what else to say to him.

"You're more than welcome, Bella," Phil said. "Now, go!"

I slammed the door and watched Phil get back in his car.

We drove out of the motel's lot, him ahead of me, and honked our horns as he turned back toward where I was coming from and I turned the opposite one, heading off to parts unknown.

With no destination in mind, I drove on. It was just me and the road. I was tired, I was weary. I needed to sleep, but I went on. The further I got from James, the happier I would be. And as daylight broke over the horizon, I did something I hadn't done in a long while, I smiled.

I used to be Marie Higginbotham-Carter, the woman lost in a world that wasn't meant for her, but once again, according to my new driver's license, I'm Bella Swan and this will be my story.


	3. On The Road To Where

_**AN: Bella takes the road by herself. **_

_**Chapter Two: On the road to where. **_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, December, 2010…<strong>_

Being on the road by my lonesome was scary. I was tired and if it wasn't for the music on the radio, I probably would've fallen asleep long ago.

I had never traveled by myself before and I had to admit, it was freaking me out.

However, aside from the pounding of my heart and my sweaty palms gripping the steering wheel, I haven't felt this exhilarated about anything in six long years.

The sun began to rise as I drove down the highway, making me realize that today was the second day I'd been on this journey to nowhere.

Yet, as terrifying as that may sound to someone else, for me it was comforting to know that I'd really done it. I had left James.

After driving out of that motel parking lot and down the road, I sped down the empty street, happy for the lack of traffic. It was early morning and I had never been so thankful for that time of day as I was then.

Every time fatigue crept up on me and I thought about stopping to rest, I stomped down the thought with the reminder of James' face.

"If I stopped, he would find me." It's what I repeated over and over again like a mantra.

If James caught up with me, I would be dead. He was a dangerous man, and I wasn't about to fool myself and think otherwise. A normal person didn't get away with as much as he did without being caught.

Leaving him was not an option. I had gone against everything he had warned me against doing. And for my troubles, I was sure he would torture and kill me if he ever caught up with me

But I also knew from the moment I ran away, I was heading for a life of constantly looking over my shoulder. However, the freedom I felt after all these years of torment was enough to trump my fear.

I was tired and my eyes were threatening to close so I sped up a little in my search for a motel. My injured body was screaming in protest for sitting so long in one position, and I needed to rest. It was seven-thirty in the morning, and I needed to sleep.

A motel sign came into view, lights blinking 'Vacancy' so I slowed and turned into the lot.

I got myself a room and parked right in front of it, grabbed my backpack with my things and money and got out; locking up my car and praying like hell I saw it when I woke up.

The room wasn't much, but it was perfect for me. As soon as I saw the bed, my body trembled in fatigue and I quickly climbed on before I dropped. My head hit the pillow and I was out before I could think of anything else.

Later in the evening, I woke up and took a shower, checked my injuries, and then grabbed my things and checked out.

The rest of my day brought another leg of driving. I was aware that it was dangerous for a woman to be out here by herself venturing cross country with no destination in mind, but it was needed. Yeah, it may have been a huge risk to take, especially at night, but I had no choice. I was determined to limit my stops and get as much distance between me, California, and James as I possibly could.

I had no phone to consult for anything and I didn't think to buy any maps when I stopped for food earlier. I was so used to not having a phone that the necessity for one didn't occur to me.

James had always said that there was no reason for me to have a cell phone. If anyone needed to talk to me they could reach me at the house, since I was always there. Another one of his reasons was that I had no friends so why have a phone. Whenever I'd go out, such as go to the supermarket, which was always on a Wednesday, I would be in and out before anyone could think to speak to me. It was like I was afraid of people. Since no one could hear my silent cries for help, why bother with them?

James had planned my life well, right down to what I ate.

James was the only one who could eat what he wanted in the house. I never thought of it as my home, so I always referred to it as 'the house'.

In the house, my food was monitored. Every piece of food that went in my mouth was all after his approval. I couldn't and would never do anything to ruin this figure in his eyes. I was to stay perfect and be able to fit in the tiny dresses his former stepsister, Victoria, would dress me in.

The mere thought of her made me sick to my stomach but I pushed down the feeling and continued down the highway, promising myself that I would buy a phone on my next stop if I found a good store to do so.

As I continued on my journey, thoughts and memories plagued me. I thought about my mother, Phil, Garrett, James and Vicky and all the abuse I experienced at their hands. My tears pooled in my eyes and blurred my vision so I pulled over, and cried. I let it all go, and when my tears finally stopped, I maneuvered my car back onto the road and drove on to nowhere in particular.

All through the drive, I kept telling myself that the further I got, the better it would be for me. The music was soothing and a particular favorite song of mine came on, easing my burden of sad and painful memories. Switchfoot, 'Learning to Breathe' was a favorite of mine. The lyrics were a savior to me and I sang along as I pressed gas. I have loved this band since Garrett introduced their music to me.

I still danced, when I wasn't too injured, because it reminded me of my time in dance class with Garrett.

He had been a jock, injured and a friend bet him to take dance class to work out his muscles. He had once told me that he came because of a joke and he stayed because he met me.

James never knew that I still danced. But I did. I danced every chance I got. I had panicked once when I overheard Victoria suggesting that James had security cameras installed since she thought that I could find some way of cheating on him with all his long hours away from home due to his duties as a doctor. But James never did it. He had caught me eavesdropping, and while hitting me, he told her that I wouldn't dare let another man touch me without his permission.

Before I knew it, I was on day three and my body hurting like hell, especially my ribs. I wanted to check, but I didn't want to stop. I needed to drive some more.

I knew I had painkillers in the medical kit Phil had given me, but I had to continue on my journey, so I opted to ignore my soreness and pushed on.

James drifted into my thoughts, on and off. Himself and all he'd done to me, haunted me. Even though I was scared about what my uncertain future would bring. I still breathe a sigh of relief that he couldn't hurt me anymore.

I wouldn't have to see his face again, and I wouldn't have to feel sick to my stomach when he trounced me. That was my past now.

But as I continued to think of him, the anger I have felt but could never express fell through the cracks and soon, I was screaming at no one while I drove. "Fuck you, James!" I screamed, taking the opportunity to talk back. "I hate you so much, you bastard," I continued while slowing the car down.

"You disgust me. You abused me. You raped me. You made me feel like nothing, and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't go anywhere unless you sent me," I babbled on as the tears flowed down my face.

"You even let your friend rape me while you watched." I sobbed. "I hope you rot in hell!"

After I'd gotten it all off my chest, I sped up again. I checked the time only to see that it was six in the morning. I couldn't believe I had been driving for so many hours, no wonder my body felt like crap so I decided to stop and get some sleep. I'd have to check my injuries before moving on.

I found a motel and drove into the lot. Parking, I grabbed my things and got out, locking up my car. After paying for a room, I made my way to it, walking pass my car while saying a quick prayer that I would see it when I woke up.

The room was clean and tidy. I dropped my things on the bed and slowly crawled in beside them. My body was sore from all the driving and I promptly fell asleep. I was so tired, and I didn't wake up until noon.

Once awake, I got up and headed for the bathroom. After stripping down, I got in the shower, hissing each time I had to lift my hands to bathe myself.

I was really hoping I didn't have any fractured ribs because I had no intention of stopping at a hospital. Going there was a sure shot way for James to find me.

When I got out of the shower, I dried off, and examined my bruises. The huge one on my side covered my body from under my arm to below my ribcage. Looking at it now, I could practically still feel his kicks landing there. My right eye still has a slight black and blue bruise under it, but it was slowly fading. So I did what I could, and then turned away from the mirror.

After getting dressed, I grabbed my bags and left the room. I asked the girl in the office for somewhere to eat and she suggested IHOP, telling me that it wasn't too far away.

I thanked her and left, heading out to my car, taking the directions she had given me and left in search of food.

Following her advice, I found the place with ease and drove into the lot. After parking, I got out and headed inside. Once in there, I kept my head down, walking quickly to the first empty table I spotted.

I could feel others' eyes on me, but I didn't dare to look. I didn't want to see the pity or the questions in their eyes as they stared at the frail girl heading to the empty table. Sure, I did feel self conscious, but the sweet smell of the food on the other patrons' plates had me in such a trance that their stares hardly matter to me at the moment.

A waiter came over to me asking what I'd like for lunch. I quickly ran through the menu, and even though everything seemed so tasty, I quickly ordered a take two combo, getting the Loaded Potato and Bacon Soup, with a half Pot Roast Melt Sandwich along with a Splashberry. I also ordered a Tuscan Chicken Griller to go. _I'll need something to eat on the road._

The guy threw me an incredulous look as he took my order, but I don't care, because he didn't understand. I felt like I've been hungry for six years.

Once all my food arrived, I thanked the waiter and dug in without a second thought. I savored every bite of it, moaning at the delicious taste of everything. It was all so good, and I felt like a starving man who was having his first proper meal in years. It surprised me that I could cook so well, and yet, I was starving to death. But James kept me on a restricted diet where everything was served in small portions, no snacks or desserts were allowed. The last time he weighed me, I stood at 102 pounds which was seriously underweight for my 5'6 height.

Finishing up my scrumptious lunch, I paid, grabbed my sandwich for the road, and left.

I drove a little more, smiling that I was now in Texas. I was doing it. I was getting far away.

For a small moment, something in me wanted me to stop in the next town and stay awhile, but that was a foolish idea. I needed more distance.

But the weird, nagging feeling wouldn't go away.

_Maybe I'll stop in Louisiana or go as far as Georgia._ _I should really get a map and that phone._

With my decision made, I checked my backpack and my money. I was still doing okay on the monetary part of things, so I could get that phone. Phil had given me a bunch of numbers, including Charlie's and I was inkling to call him.

I wanted to hear my dad's voice. I needed to hear him.

Turning into a gas station I saw, I spotted a payphone beside the minimart out of the corner of my eye, and I decided to call Charlie.

"Hey there, pretty girl, you heading inside or what?" Two guys were leering at me through the windshield, but I ignore them, quickly parking and grabbing my things, I meant to duck into the store, but I wanted to make this call.

I grabbed the address book out of my bag and a quarter from my pocket. Sliding the coin into the slot of the payphone, I let out a nervous breath and dialed Charlie's number. I wanted him to know that I was okay. That I was alive and that I loved him.

I knew Phil said no contact, but I couldn't help it. Just this once.

His phone rang and I took another deep, shaky breath and prepared myself.

After two rings, he answered, "Hello, Hello?" I don't answer. Suddenly having him on the phone and hearing his voice, has rendered me speechless. So I just stood there, holding the receiver to my ear and listening to him.

I smiled as he asked, "Who is this?" But still, I didn't answer. It was so good to hear my father's voice. I knew that there was so much to be said, but I couldn't seem to even say hello to him.

Even though I didn't want to, I began to move the phone from my ear. However, hearing his sob and when he said, "Bella?" stopped me.

Still, I don't answer, I just let the tears fall as he continued, "Bella, I know you can't come to Forks just yet, so all I ask, is that you be careful. Okay, baby girl?"

"I love you, Daddy," I whispered before hanging up and walking away.

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I walked into the store. I headed straight to the clerk and bought a map. He got me one and I paid. As I turned toward the door, it dinged and a lady walked in.

She glanced at me or at the bruise under my eye before quickly looking away. She headed for an aisle and I moved to the door, but stopped short, wanting to buy some gas. I turned back and asked the clerk, and he directed me to pull the car up to the pump and pay there.

I walked out to go do just that, but when I walked out of the mini-mart, what greeted me brought me to my knees and the tears immediately began to flow.

My car was gone.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next: Jasper and Maria, and the continuation of Bella's turmoil.<strong>_


	4. Before Her

**AN: Jasper is angry that Alice refuses to accept that he wants to break up, Maria is needs to get away and Bella is distraught.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter three: Before Her<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Jasper <strong>_

My mother was been a pain in my ass right now and I didn't need another issue. I had already had plans for today, and nothing would interfere with them.

Today would be the day I ended things with Alice and moved on with my life. There was no point to it anymore. She would never change, and I needed more than someone who 'loved' me for what I had.

Alice only wanted me for what I could give her. She didn't want me for the man I was. The man who loved her, and that wasn't and would never be enough for me.

I wanted a woman that could love me, the way I loved her.

"Baby, where are you?" Where her voice used to make me feel things, _very nice things_, now it left me feeling bothered, annoyed and disturbed. All I wanted now was for her to shut up.

That wasn't good.

"Oh, there you are," Alice said, coming to sit on the edge of my desk as I hung up my failed call to my mama to apologize for shouting at her. "I have been looking all over for you." She ran her hand through my hair and I wanted to crawl into myself.

"Yes, I'm here," I replied, looking up at her. "But we need to talk."

She rolled her eyes. "Not this again." Alice has been trying to avoid me and the issue of us ending our relationship since I brought it up over a week ago. It had been long time since we've been together and we are heading nowhere.

"Yes, this again. We need to talk."

She jumped off my desk, stalked around it, and headed for the door. I followed behind her, out of my office as I said, "Alice, this isn't working anymore."

"Jasper, would you quit this?" she sighed exasperatedly, turning to me. "I'm not in the mood."

_What the hell? _ "What do you mean?" I stressed. "This is over!"

"Jasper, you're being ridiculous!" She laughed.

"Alice, you cheated on me repeatedly, and still, you expected me to just let it go lightly?" I was furious. How did she think I would take this? I wasn't an idiot.

"No, but…" she tries.

"But what?" I asked. I'd love to hear the answer she came with.

"I'm sorry, and I love you." I wanted to believe that sentiment but it didn't reach her eyes.

"No, you don't." I chuckled, walking away.

"Jasper!" she yelled, following me out the house.

We had a family gathering going on in the main house and everyone deserved to be here. So I grabbed my cell from my pocket while Alice went on about loving me and I called my mom once again only to be hit with her voicemail.

Where the hell was she?

_**Maria**_

Jasper's number lit up the screen again and I ignored the call. I wasn't in the mood to deal with my son. I wanted some time to myself. While swearing to myself that we had gotten into our last argument over Alice, I turned into a gas station. I couldn't believe I had driven this far out of town. I had some groceries to pick up at my favorite grocery store, and I could have had someone do it for me, but I'd do it myself when I got back to town. The more time I spent away from the ranch right now, the better.

Locking up my car, I headed to the minimart. There were two beady eyed idiots eyeing a Sliver car but totally ignoring me, and for a minute, I was sorry I stopped here, but I went ahead in the minimart.

I passed a frail girl on the way in, and I had to try my best not to stare at her. She reminded me so much of myself when I had first ran away from my abusive boyfriend. She had the same scared kind of look in her eyes that she was trying to cover by putting on a brave face.

I knew that look so well. This girl was running.

I watched as she left the store after speaking to the clerk and he told her to pull her car up to the pump to get her gas. A look outside of the store while he instructed her, and saw a car driving off.

But it wasn't until the girl went out and just about collapsed in front of the door of the minimart, did I realize that it was her car. I knew those boys looked suspicious.

_**Bella**_

I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was going to faint. This couldn't be happening to me. Not now. No, I had to go. James was definitely looking now. It had been three days.

No…No…No… How could this possibly happen? I just stepped in the store for one minute…and…now, my car was gone.

What was I going to do?

I fell to the ground, not caring if anyone saw, dropped my head in my hands and started to cry.

Her voice startled me as she placed a hand on my shoulder and asked, "Are you alright, darlin', what happened?"

"My car," I managed to mumble out as she reached for my hand and helped me to my feet.

"What about your car?" she questioned, looking around.

"It…it…it's gone," I sobbed. "It was right there and now it's gone, and I've…I've gotta go…I've gotta go, he's going to find me…he's going to kill me." My sobs were growing more loudly as I started to panic, and the woman looked so worried before she pulled me into her arms, hugging me.

I shook in her arms, while babbling in hysterics into her shoulder. Other people have now come on the scene including the clerk. Everyone that has gathered around me along with this strange woman is commenting on my situation. However, while I was grateful, none of it mattered, because my only escape was gone.

The moment I started to hear the words, "police" and "report" I immediately dried my tears. I couldn't afford that; I had to get away. I couldn't make a statement about this. James was looking.

"No," I whispered.

"What?" she questioned, apparently disturbed by my refusal to make a report.

"I…can't…I…can't do…I can't do that." I fumbled over my words, falling over myself to explain to this woman– whoever she was –that she couldn't help me. I couldn't go to the police. I needed her to understand that and to back off. The clerk stepped away from us, and the other people started to follow his lead.

"I'll…I'll find my way," I told her. "I'll be okay." I tried to smile reassuringly, but her piercing gaze was beginning to unnerve me.

She broke it, and said, "Well then, at least let me give you a ride to town," she offered. "And from there, you can figure out what you wanna do." Before I could reply, she walked over to a black Mercedes, chirped the alarm and stood by the door, waiting for me.

My mind told me to refuse her offer, but my heart said to go with her, at least I'd be in town and I was sure I could work something out from there. So, with a deep sigh, I walked toward her without any further hesitation. She told me to get it and went back into the store.

I sobbed some more after she was gone at my loss. Phil had gotten me that car to make my escape, and now, it was gone.

When the lady got back, she got some gas, and then, got in the car and we were off.

Through most of the drive, she remained silent, and so did I. The only sound in the car was the music coming from the radio which she was humming along with while she kept her focus on the road.

During this time, I took the chance to look at her. She was Hispanic and looked to be in her thirties, maybe forties, but I wasn't sure. Her clothes were expensive and the diamonds in her ears were definitely real.

This was someone important.

"So, what do you surmise?" Her voice made me jump, but I cleared my throat and answered her question without another beat.

"You're Spanish and you look like you're in your forties," I said before slapping my hand over my mouth, instantly regretting how intrusive that statement sounded.

Noticing her frown, I immediately tried to rectify it. "I…I…I mean, I mean your late thirties?" It came out more like a question than an answer, and it made her laugh.

"I'm fifty years old, girl," she said with a smile.

"I'm twenty-six years old," I told her before we fell back in silence as the scenery began to change when the town came into view.

"Welcome to Henderson," she said, smiling as we slowed our drive into town.

I was instantly in love. I couldn't stop looking at everything she drove past, and for a split second, I considered staying again, maybe even finding a job and starting a life here. James wouldn't come looking here, would he?

Maybe he'd already thought that I was dead in a ditch somewhere. There was no way I could survive on my own. Right?

However, once I noticed where she was heading, I began to panic. My palms got sweaty and my breaths I was panting in fear as she parked in front of the police station.

I felt faint, but I tried to put on a brave face while she sat back, patiently waiting on me to make my next move. This stranger has kept her promise. She brought me to town.

"Well, thank…thank you," I said, meeting her inquisitive eyes.

She offered me her hand to shake, and I take it as she said, "You're welcome. By the way, I'm Maria Cortez-Whitlock, and you are?"

"I'm Bella," I whispered. "Bella Swan."

"Now for the hard part, Bella," she sighed. "Who are you running from?"

I could have lied, but for some strange reason, I didn't want to.

"My husband. And if I walk into that station, I know he'll find me. And when he does, I'm dead." Her expression remained unchanged so I went on, "He's very rich and is probably already looking for me to punish me. I have places I could've gone, places that I've recently learnt of." I smiled when I thought of Charlie. "But because of him, I can never go there."

She said nothing to me for a long time and when she finally does speak, it was only to say, "Excuse me," before she got out of the car and walked away. I watched her every move, noticing that she didn't go into the station.

_She didn't go into the station._

I was shocked. Why didn't she?

When she got back to the car, I nearly hugged her to how happy I was that she didn't set foot in the police station.

But I remained still, letting her start her car and then drove off. We stayed in our awkward silence for a little while as she cruised through the town until she broke it, "I had some groceries to pick up," she said nonchalantly.

I didn't answer because I didn't know what to say.

But when I noticed that she wasn't letting me off anywhere and we were now driving out of town, I decided to voice my concern. "Excuse me, Mrs. Whitlock, where are we going?"

"To my home," she replied like it was the most obvious thing. "And before you ask anything else, I'm gonna tell you something and I want you to remain quiet while I speak, Alright?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

She sighed and then began, "When I was sixteen years old, I left my parents' home to be with my boyfriend because I was in love," she chuckled. "I was on top of the world and nothing could go wrong. But that was until he started beating me. You don't see the signs or at least you're not paying attention to them at first. You don't see how possessive he is and how he claims that it's because he loves you, but you feel the blows he deals out and then when that apology comes, which will wither away over time, you accept it, but why?"

Hearing her say these things drew out my confessions about James and the abuse. "He never apologized. He always called them 'lessons' and made it seem like it was my fault and I caused the beating on myself."

She chuckled darkly. "There are different kinds of bastards out there, Bella. I got one and you got another."

"Yes," I whispered, realizing how true that statement.

She smiled wide as we turned down another road, and I glanced out the window, watching strong, beautiful horses run around in the fields. "I ran, Bella. And if I didn't run, I never would have met the man who loved me unconditionally until his dying day."

"That's possible?" There was no love out there for me. Only escape mattered.

"Yes, it's very possible." She advised as I stare out at the vast land with the grass was the greenest I'd ever seen. The horses were majestic and I became enthralled with watching them run around.

"Now, Bella," she said, making me turn and sit back, giving her my full attention. "I think you'll be safer staying still for a while."

"But?"

"I know," she said quickly. But you have no car and I hate that you can't even report it. I don't know you, and I'm so sorry for what you've been through."

Her gratitude baffled me. I'd given up on people long ago, because I thought it was pointless to drag anyone else into my hell. But now, like Phil, here was another person willing to help me.

She pulled to a stop and turned to me. "Now, Bella, there is a party going on inside. So when we get in there, you're to stick with me. No matter what you hear from here on out, I'm your boss. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Ma'am." What was she about to do for me?

"Maria, please, Bella," she corrected before moving to get out. "Call me Maria."

"Okay, Maria," I smiled, following her lead, grabbing my backpack and getting out of the car.

While we headed for the front door to the biggest mansion I have ever seen, she asked, "Now, quickly, what can you do?"

I couldn't think so I said the first thing that popped up. "Cook," I told her. "I can cook. Before…everything, I wanted to be a chef."

"Cooking," she said, pondering something. "Alright then, that can work. Come on, let's go."

"Yes, Maria," I threw my backpack over my shoulder and followed inside.

"Welcome to Whitlock Ranch, darlin'," she said as we walked into the foyer. I froze at the doorway.

The entryway alone to this place was a dream. It had such elegance to it; it was a sight to behold. The grand staircase seemed to go on for miles.

"You about done?" she asked with a chuckle.

"No, not even close," I said offhandedly while dreamily staring up at the ceiling.

Maria laughed. "Come on, Bella. You'll have plenty of time for that later on. Here…" She handed me two of the grocery bags she had and told me to follow her.

I did, while still looking around in awe at the magnificent décor. Maria explained that it was a family home, built a while back but was recently renovated by her brother-in-law. It was still a little shocking how nice she was being. Even going as far as to tell me about her family. Maria said he was an architect and he had worked on the renovations for the main house while designing the house on the ranch.

_There was more than one house?_

We went through the house and headed for the kitchen. In there, I met who Maria said I would be working with, Sue Clearwater. She was very nice and welcoming. Sue and Maria both looked to be of Hispanic descent, with shoulder length hair and deep brown eyes like mine. Maria said to think of Sue as family, and I nodded, just happy to be safe for now.

We dropped off the grocery bags in the kitchen and Maria told me to follow her to her office where we could talk before I began.

I could hear the sound of voices and music coming from somewhere as we walked back out into the foyer when a blond model type approached us. She was about to say something to Maria when I saw _him_ stalking over to us. I couldn't help it. Fear shot up my spine and I felt like I wanted to scream. He glared at me before looking as harshly at Maria but she seemed unfazed by his glare.

All I could think of was uncanny his resemblance to James was. And all of a sudden, I couldn't breathe. I wanted to run. I was backing up and he was looking at me strangely. I could hear Maria's voice calling to me as the guy and a blond haired girl looked at me, but the only person I could see was him. His icy blue eyes and fiery stare were enough to stop my breath.

And then I was falling and I was powerless to stop it.

Maria looked horrified, but before everything could go black, I felt his arms around me. The stark blue of his eyes frightening, but in the midst of my fear and their terror as he asked my name... "Her name is Bella," Maria told him frantically. His voice was oddly comforting as he breathed, "Breathe, Bella, Breathe."


	5. Texas and Cowboys

**AN: Bella's presence unnerves Maria's son, Jasper. While Bella is fearful of the resemblance and few similarities she noticed between Jasper and James. **

**Chapter four: Texas and Cowboys**

_**Bella, December, 2010**_

Their voices seemed so far away, but the more they argued, the closer the noise got. My head was pounding and whoever Maria was arguing with was only making it worse.

When I listened close, I realized that she was speaking to the man that looked like James.

A fact that unnerved me.

I didn't want to stay around anyone that reminded me of the nightmare I left behind. And if Maria was going to be in trouble for helping me, then I'd go.

I wouldn't be anybody's burden.

James and his devious ways were enough to last me a lifetime. I didn't need a replica. And this guy seemed like he wasn't far off.

It always baffled me that James was a doctor, because I couldn't imagine that selfish prick wanting to save a life.

So I always told myself that it was just for the sake of being able to call himself a doctor since his dad was one and the ability to get his hands on any drug he wanted –including the painkillers he was addicted to – was the only reason he was a medical physician.

The guy was grating my brain. My head was pounding and I felt a little angry he was scolding Maria for 'hiring' me without consulting him and someone named Rosalie.

Apparently, Maria wasn't the only decision maker around here.

"You need to consider how we feel," he said harshly.

"Oh really?" Maria hissed. "Are you considering me when you make your decisions?"

He didn't answer. He just growled.

I couldn't stand it anymore. My head hurt and I wanted them to know that I was awake, and that I'd be going.

I wouldn't stay in this. Not under these circumstances.

Maria was holding her ground against his inquisition as he questioned her again, but he wasn't backing down. He thought that she should have at least suspected that I could be lying; that the assholes who stole my car were working with me.

Maria nearly bit his head off for that accusation; stating that she was there when my car was stolen, and that I didn't even want to go with her. She had to persuade me.

Which was the truth.

With a heavy sigh, I opened my eyes, staring up at the ceiling while thinking of the best way to do this.

After deciding that a straightforward approach –though the guy's similarity to James scared me to death – was the best one, I pushed myself up against the pillows, and croaked out, "I'll go."

No one heard me the first time so I tried again, this time with a little more strength. "I'll go!"

All three stopped and looked at me, both stunned that I was awake and by my remark. "I'll go." I said again with my eyes solely on Maria as I continued, "I'm sorry for what happened, and I'm really thankful that you wanted to help, but…" and I glanced at the guy as I said this, then back at her; meeting her shocked and angry eyes. "I'm obviously not welcomed here."

"Bella," Maria started, drawing closer with the blond guy following suit. "I never said that you couldn't stay."

I didn't meet her eyes, I dropped mine to my hands, playing with the edge of my t-shirt. "I don't think I can. I think it would be best that I go."

I moved to get off the bed, but staggered when I got to my feet. I almost fell forward, but out of nowhere, and I don't know how he moved that fast, the guy caught me and placed me back on the bed.

"You need to stay seated, Bella," he said; there was a little harshness in his strong voice and it was scaring me. I couldn't help but tremble beneath his fingertips and he let me go almost as quickly as he had touched; taking a step back and looking at me curiously.

"These are my children, Bella," Maria stated. "That, there is Jasper. He's my oldest. And this…" she pointed at the girl who came to stand beside her. She was the living replica of Jasper. The same beautiful blond hair, but she had brown eyes like Maria whereas Jasper's were deep blue. "…is his sister, Rosalie."

"Hello," Rosalie said.

"Hi," I replied.

"You'd have to excuse my brother, Bella." Rosalie said with a cocked brow. "He's been a bit of an ass all day, but he's a great doctor and he wants to see if you're okay."

"Okay." I chuckled out in shock.

This must be a dream. He was a doctor? Jasper was a doctor? Like James?

For a second, I began to think that James must have beaten me so badly, I was in a coma and this was all a dream, until Jasper came closer, placing the stethoscope in his ears while his stark blue eyes held me captive as he asked, "Are you ready? I need to make sure you're okay."

"I'm ready."

He stepped even closer and his manly scent ignited my senses. He smelt so damn good!

Maybe it was the cologne he was wearing but I was enraptured by him.

"He's damn good at what he does," Maria boasted and you could see the love in her eyes. "He'll know if you're alright."

I nodded; afraid of how squeaky my voice might sound if I dared to speak.

"So, Bella?" Jasper said.

"Yeah?" I was surprised I didn't sound breathy when I said that.

"Where are you headed?"

"I'm not sure." I told him honestly.

"Well, darlin' that's not very good, now is it?" he drawled, sounding like one of those cowboys from the westerns I watched when I was a kid.

"No. But you don't want me here." He looked at me, long and hard until he sheepishly looked away. I didn't know where the strength came from allowing me to say that, but I loved it.

I have never had a man cower away from my eyes before.

"I'm just concerned for my family," he said.

"I want to save my life," I said, but then shut up because I refused to share my story with anyone else as yet. I'd only given Maria bits and pieces. I wasn't ready to let anyone else in.

"I won't ask why." He smiled, and it was beautiful. Jasper's smile was lovely. The way his perfectly shaped face lit up made my heart thump against my chest raptly.

I didn't even know him! How could he invoke such a feeling in me?

I couldn't question it. I had to simply write it off as me being a red blooded woman who was just aware and appreciated the beauty seated on the edge of the bed before me.

That was it.

Jasper asked me some more questions while he examined me; drawling each word and making me want to laugh. I had never heard a southern accent outside of my television before. It sounded so strange to me. Although on Jasper, it was very enticing.

"You sound like a cowboy," I said, before my eyes bugged out and I slapped my hand over my mouth. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that." I told him from behind my hand.

He laughed. "It's alright. Thanks for the compliment. I take it that it was one, right?"

"It was." I slightly smiled. His handsomeness was so disarming. I had to look away sometimes.

"Good."

When Jasper was through, he gave me a small smile and asked to speak with his mother, before leaving the room with Rosalie.

Maria came to sit down beside me, but her eyes wouldn't leave the door for a bit. "Well that was strange."

"What was?"

"Jasper."

"Why?" I asked.

"He wanted to bite my head off a while ago, but he speaks with you and he's all smiles again." _Wow, what was that?_

"Anyways…" She gave me her full attention. "…don't ever let me hear you talk anything about you leaving again. At least, not until you're on your feet. Am I understood?" She sounded like the mother I have always wanted.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Maria," she smiled, reminding me to call her by her first name.

"Maria," I said, returning her smile as she got up.

"I'm gonna go talk to my kids and Sue will bring you up some soup in a minute, okay?"

"Okay," I whispered.

Maria patted my knee and then left the room.

I laid there for a while thinking about I would do. I understood that Maria wanted me to stay. She had gone through something similar to me, and understood my plight, and was even willing to hide me from James.

Jasper wanted to know why I was in his house, and I couldn't wrong him for it because I'd want to know why my mom was helping a stranger too. Not that Renee would ever do such a thing. She would rather eat nails for breakfast.

I could go if I wanted. I could leave in the night. I still had my backpack and the remainder of the money Phil gave me so I could make a move. Thankfully, when I had gotten out of the car, I had taken it with me.

But did I want to?

Thinking back to the doctor, he was such a mystery; a beautiful mystery. Jasper must be such a dream for the woman who owned his heart. He was perfection. Tall, well built, muscular and had the deepest blue eyes I had ever had the pleasure of looking into. There were like the raging ocean and coupled with his wavy blond hair that stopped short at his neck, he must be hard to resist.

But I couldn't care about that.

The only thing that should matter to me…is surviving.

Sue came in not long after that, forcing me to leave my thoughts behind as my stomach grumbled at the sight of the soup and some crackers. She placed the tray in my lap, smiling and then wished me a good night. I thanked her and dug in as soon as she left the room.

After eating, I placed my tray on the nightstand and lay back against the pillows. My eyes were heavy and I could hardly keep them open.

When sleep came, I welcomed it, though I worried that a nightmare wouldn't be far behind. They weren't always a bother, but to be away from James, worried like hell as to when he would finally catch up with me was bound to have some bad side effects on me.

But what was I to do? I couldn't fight it sleep.

**~~abt~~ **

_**Maria**_

While heading to my office, I psyched myself up for dealing with my son. He and I weren't on the best of terms right now and with me taking home some frail girl was sure to stir that fiery pot some more. But I had smile as I grabbed a hold of the door knob, ready to walk into the lion's den.

During Bella's examination, Jasper had smiled at Bella in a way I have never seen him smile at any other woman before. I have been privileged to see him with other girls over the years, but nothing invoked that simple yet beautiful smile to spread across his face so effortlessly.

Not like it had with Bella.

I couldn't forget it. It was how I knew my boy. It was an honest, beautiful smile that lit up his face, and reminded me of the wonderful boy my husband and I raised.

How did Bella do that? It was so weird!

I opened the door and walked into my office, realizing that my boy was gone, and the kind guy Bella just had the privileged to reawakening was gone now; replaced by the angry man I was arguing with all day.

I rolled my eyes. Jasper was seated on the edge of my desk while Rose was sitting in one of the chairs in front of it.

"You couldn't just leave me be?" I asked snidely. I wasn't about to make this easy for him.

"No," he said defiantly. "There are still things to discuss."

I rolled my eyes again. "Jasper Whitlock, the last I remembered, I had you. It wasn't the other way around. Your daddy and I ran this farm long before you were born and I don't need your input on all matters. Get over yourself." He was so suspicious sometimes. "The damn girl can't hurt a fly."

"And how do you know that, Mom?" Rose asked.

"Because I know enough."

"Such as?" Jasper sometimes had a bad influence on his sister.

I went around my desk and took a seat. With a heavy sigh, I shared, "I know that she can't go home."

Jasper scoffed and got up, his anger taking over like I anticipated. "And who's making that decision for her? You?"

He was getting on my nerves. I loved my boy more than life itself, but I wanted to smack him so bad right now.

My children knew about my abusive past. It was hard thing for me to share, but their father said that we were family, and a close knit at that, so we shouldn't have any secrets locked away from each other that could come back and bite us in the ass.

John was right and it was the best decision at the time, because when my ex returned, wreaking havoc in my life, John and I were ready.

Because John was a billionaire, it wasn't hard for my ex to discover where I was, and to him, since I was married to such a wealthy man and my children were worth a lot, he thought I should give him money. John refused to do this, telling him to go to hell.

But my ex took things to the next level and kidnapped Jasper.

I nearly lost my mind when Jasper went missing. But what happened afterwards has forever bonded my family and me in a way that is unbreakable. The secret we share will die with us.

So knowing that they would understand now, I simply said, "Bella is running. And who she is running from…" Rose eased up in her chair, her pretty brown eyes blazing with her understanding, curiosity and anger. "…will kill her if he gets his hands on her."

"Mom, why would you do that?" Jasper hissed. "What do you know about the situation? What kind of danger have you brought down on us?"

I really wanted to smack him. But instead, I grabbed up the phone and dialed Jenks. I needed Bella's history. Now!

While dialing a number I knew off the top of my head, I seethed at Jasper, "Since you can't make that little twit, Alice, love you the way you're wasting your time loving her, you have felt the need to take it out on us, but hear me good, son, I will kick your ass all over Texas if you continue to act like I'm some kind of idiot!"

He couldn't answer me because I had hit the nail right on the head. That was his problem. But I needed him to put that aside for a moment. This was serious and I wanted to help Bella.

Rose was chuckling softly and Jenks picked up after three rings.

"Good evening, Mrs. Whitlock."

"Good evening, Mr. Jenks," I said, while trying to calm myself down. "I'll be quick. I need a full history to be done on someone. But for now, I just need a little bit of info."

"Yes, Ma'am, can I have a name please?" he asked.

"Bella Swan," I told him. I had gone through Bella's bag after she fainted while Jasper carried her upstairs. It was funny how perfect she looked in his arms, but I had dismissed the thought, choosing to focus on Bella's health.

However, I could remember how her backpack looked like a survival kit. There were clothes, money, and her information inside, making my heart bled for her.

I listened to Jenks clicking away on his keyboard while I waited for him to come back on the line. There was a knock on my door, and I told them to come in. Sue stuck her head in and informed me that she's just left the soup for Bella before jumping in surprise when my nephew, Peter, tickled her sides.

I beckoned both of them into the office.

Sue had Bella's backpack and I instructed her to give it to Jasper. I wanted Peter and Sue to be a part of this. Sue has been a part of this family forever, and Peter would be of great help to his cousin, Jasper, in calming his ass down and making him see that I was right about assisting Bella.

When Jasper went through the bag, I could see his hardened features softening at the sight of the bag's contents. He gave it to his sister and Rose shook her head as she went through it next.

Mr. Jenks came back on the line. "Mrs. Whitlock, here are the facts," he said as I put him on speakerphone.

"Go ahead."

"Bella Swan was born Isabella Marie Swan on September 13th, 1984. She's twenty-six years old. She has lived with her mother Renee Higginbotham and stepfather, Philip Dwyer for most of her life. She graduated high school and college, and has been married to Dr. James Carter for the last six years."

"Okay."

"But there is something else," he said, making Jasper perk up, and I rolled my eyes at him. I hated that he wanted to find something wrong with the situation because I didn't see anything suspicious about Bella.

Knowing where his mistrust was coming from, made me hate Alice even more. Her mother, Clara, and I were such good friends, and yet, I couldn't stand her daughter. Every time I saw that girl, only bad things came to my mind.

"Like what?"

"Bella wasn't always called Bella Swan," Jenks said. "In fact, on her prep, high school and college records, they are all under the name 'Marie Higginbotham'."

"Is she married under that name?" I asked.

"Yes, but recently, there has been a name change and her most recent records have gone back under the name of…"

"Isabella Marie Swan," I finished for him.

"Yes, Ma'am."

Sue and Peter looked concerned. Rose looked skeptically and sad while Jasper remained angry, but his eyes told another story. Sympathy. They were now laced with sympathy.

He came up to the desk, and I let him take the lead. "Jenks?"

"Yes, Sir, Mr. Whitlock?"

"During the last six years, has Ms Swan had any hospital stays?" I knew what Jasper was looking for.

A pattern. He believed me. He was waking himself up to the idea that Bella was running from an abusive spouse.

"Yes, Sir, there has been a stream of hospital visits over the last six years."

"Were there any with such frequency before the last six years?" Rose asked, adding to the conversation.

"No, Ms. Whitlock, there wasn't," Jenks replied. "Just a few visits here and there."

"What else do you know about her?" Peter added while Sue looked like she was about to cry. She knew my history and it was painfully obvious that Bella's present was similar to my past.

"She graduated with almost a perfect 4.0," Jenks said. "Due to her records here, it seems that she aspired to be a chef. There is an entry and records that she attended one of the finest culinary schools, but Ms. Swan didn't complete it."

"She got married?" Jasper asked.

"And then she was pulled by her husband, Mr. Whitlock," Jenks replied.

"Trapped her," I mouthed to Jasper, and he nodded in agreement.

"Any record of assault brought up against her husband?" Peter asked next. He was focusing on the cops. He wanted to know if Bella ever tried talking to the authorities though I saw that as unlikely, but I wanted to know too. Peter was furious as he got up to pace the room.

"No, Sir, sadly there is none." Jenks sounded just as peeved too.

"He got away with it," Rose stated.

"Who is he?" Jasper asked.

"Dr. James Carter is a medical doctor who lives and works in Sacramento. He is a part of the Carter family, who are well known for their monetary businesses along with a few physicians here and there."

Rose scoffed. "He's probably a doctor because his daddy is. That has nothing to do with the care my brother, fiancé and uncle show their patients. Is his dad a doctor?" she asked Jenks.

He was silent for a bit while the clicking of his computer continued and then he said, "Yes, Ms. Whitlock, his father is a doctor."

She laughed, "Told ya," making Peter chuckle darkly.

"Find out all you can about them, and get back to us. I want to know everything about Bella Swan," Jasper ordered.

"Yes, Sir." We disconnected the call with Jenks and then continued to talk.

Heavy emotions hung in the air as we discussed Bella and how to help her. Peter thought that she should stay and we should find James and skin him alive. Rose agreed. But Jasper and I wanted to know everything about James first, and then we would make our move.

Without knowing it, Bella had come to the right place.

When everyone moved to leave, I asked Jasper to stay. I hated that my boy was hurting and I wanted to help.

"What is it?" he questioned as he sat back down in one of the chairs and I leaned up against my desk.

"What's this really about?"

He looked taken aback by my question before he recovered and answered, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about everything, from your coldness toward me today, to now, when you were determined to find a hole in my story when it came to Bella. What's happened? Has something else happened with you and Alice? What's wrong with you?"

He sighed, and we fell in a tense silence before he finally decided to share. I loved and hated that about Jasper. He could be dying inside and not share it. It was so frustrating at times.

"I want to break up with her and I'm sorry for taking out my frustration on you this morning," he declared.

"I take it she doesn't want to?" I asked, wanting to be understanding while cheering internally that he wanted to end things with the twit.

"She doesn't want to," he confirmed.

I have had to watch that Alice pick Jasper up and drop him back down like he was her dirty laundry because he loved her for the last few years.

I blame it on his daddy.

Jasper didn't love like me and Rose. We were cautious even after giving our hearts to one we loved, while when Jasper and his daddy loved, the y loved with their whole heart. And they would give the world if they thought it made you happy.

I was appreciative and loved my husband with all I had, but Alice just took advantage of Jasper.

If Peter hadn't brought Jasper's attention to her indiscretions, because Jasper had refused to question her, he wouldn't have found out that she had cheated on him numerous times on her trips overseas.

I'd kept silent about things because not only did my daughter beg me to, but also because I have enough respect for my son to accept that he was a grown man capable of making his own decisions.

Even if in my eyes, there were the wrong ones.

"So what are you going to do about it?" I asked, genuinely concerned if my son was intending on staying in a relationship that made him unhappy if Alice didn't want to break up.

It had been six years, and how fast they have gone by without any progress in my son's personal life. To me, it wasn't wrong in my eyes that I wanted him to have a love like I had with his father. I wanted someone to love Jasper as unconditionally as John had loved me.

"I'm going to end things tonight and no later than that," Jasper affirmed. "It's over."

"Good luck," I told him, truly meaning it. "And don't worry about Rose's wedding. If Alice doesn't want to help, then we'll find someone. Your happiness is what matters to your sister and me."

Rose's wedding was in March of next year. A lot of planning had gone into it and Alice was responsible for the dress and the top chef that would be flying in.

It would be a grand affair for our family and everything had to be perfect.

Alice had pushed her way into the preparations, and Rose begrudgingly agreed for the sake of her brother.

Rose has expressed to me that as soon as the wedding was over, she would be distancing herself from the country clubs types, especially Alice. She disliked their attitude and felt that it wasn't the right atmosphere for her anymore. Unless, she and I were required to attend a certain function, she would be like me, on the outskirts of the high society social life.

I was down to earth kind of girl. It was never my cup of tea, and I only did for John.

I didn't have time for that shit. It was as simple as that.

"That's good to know," Jasper sighed. "As soon as Jenks finds out more, we'll know what to do with Bella, but for now, I agree with her staying. It's far safer."

"Thank you."

"I'll see you back down there?" he smiled. I was so happy he was calming down.

"In a minute," I smiled back, and then watched him walk out.

I wanted some time alone with my thoughts before I rejoined the party downstairs.

Jasper would be free of that little witch soon, and Bella was in the right place. James Carter will never be able to hurt her here.

Most of all, one day, my son will find a woman who loves him for who he was and not what he was worth.

I'd make sure of it.


	6. Fiery Blue Eyes

**AN: Bella's nightmare is overheard by Jasper. He checks on her, effectively calming her down with minimal effort. Bella and Jasper talk in the morning. **

**This story contains mature themes and is suitable for those eighteen and over.**

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><p><strong>Chapter five: Fiery Blue Eyes<strong>

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><p><em><strong>Bella, December, 2010…<strong>_

_I was in bed; the same bed that Maria had left me in. A nightmare had startled me awake, and I sat up, wiping the sleep from my eyes. I glanced around the dark room, willing my eyes to adjust to it before giving up and lying back down, waiting for sleep to come. _

_When the drowsy began to pull me under, I sighed in relief that I wasn't in Sacramento with James. And when sleep loomed closer, I closed my eyes and welcomed it. But a hand stretching across my stomach made me gasp in shock and terror as I heard an all too familiar groan coming from behind me as the hand pulled me closer. _

_Immediately, I started to shake. This couldn't be. I wasn't there. I had escaped. The torment I had to endure for six years was over and I was welcomed to stay at the Whitlock ranch until I got back on my feet and could move on with my journey. _

_This was nothing but a bad dream. And all I had to do was wake up._

_Bravely, I opened my eyes, but a tremor of horror raced through me when I watched the room I was in, morph into the bedroom I had shared with James. _

_No…No…No...No. This couldn't be happening. _

_My eyes welled up with tears and sobs threaten to escape my grief stricken throat as I trembled in fear. How would I get out of here?_

"_Hello, Marie." The sound of his voice caused me to stiffen as his breath hit my neck before he licked it, making me squirm. But something built inside me, I don't know what it was, but it willed me to scream and I did. _

_I screamed at the top of my lungs while trying to get out of his arms, but he held me in a vice grip, jumping on top of me and grabbing my throat. "Where the fuck do you think you're going, Marie?"_

_I struggled against James' hold, but he was steadily choking the life out of me while he glared down at me; his eyes filled with fury. _"_You can't leave me, Marie," he seethed. "I won't stop until I find you. And then we'll be together…" He tightened his hold while pulling me closer to him. "Forever." _

_When he pushed me back down on the bed, I felt like I was submerged in water. It was all around me and I was drowning. _

_I was screaming for help, but no one could hear me. _

Suddenly, I stopped and shot up in bed, struggling to breathe while I could have sworn that I heard my bedroom door closing.

_**Jasper**_

_What was wrong with her?_

Horrific screams were coming from the room next to my old bedroom, and for a minute, I thought I was dreaming. But when I realized that my eyes were wide open, and I could still hear it, I thought otherwise.

I had decided to stay in the main house tonight after finally getting the chance to break up with Alice. I didn't feel like staying in my house. I wasn't ready to deal with Alice and her bullshit.

It was over between us, but I knew her. She didn't take 'no' for an answer. She was relentless, but I had no time for it. I had already said all that needed to be said.

Tomorrow, I wanted to devote my time to getting to know Bella Swan. I wanted to learn all I could about her situation. I was not averse to helping her, but I needed to hear her story from her own mouth.

Another horrifying scream came from the room, causing me to jump in panic.

_Shit! She must be having a nightmare. _I knew from enquiring from my aunt, who was a psychologist and studying a bit of it for myself, that abused victims tend to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. And from the screams I was hearing, it sounded like Bella's PTSD acted through horrific dreams. There was no doubt that in my mind that her husband was the star of her nightmares and she was imagining a situation where she couldn't escape him.

Taking a deep breath, I got up and threw my shirt on. I hastily made my out the door. When I got to Bella's door, I tried the lock and was a little surprised to find it unlocked. Most PTSD victims were very insecure. She must have been extremely tired.

Slowly, I turned the knob and pushed the door open. When I entered the room, I almost breathed a sigh of relief at her calm posture on the bed. She looked peaceful as the pale moonlight streamed through the window down on her, making me think that her terror must have been over and I had wasted my time coming in here.

But when I turned to leave, another scream tore from her throat.

I drew closer.

Bella was begging James not to kill her when she wasn't screaming for help. Her pleas were breaking my heart as I watched her struggle.

She was clawing at her throat like she was underwater, and arching off the bed. So unlike the peaceful girl that laid there a minute ago.

I knew I had to do something or else she'd wake up the others if they weren't already awake.

So I moved closer while Bella mumbled something else about James, thrashing around, the sheets twisting around her legs as she tried to kick them free. I kept telling myself that I was only here as a doctor, but when she moved again and her shirt rode up, revealing a bruise the size of Texas on her side, it became personal.

That rotten bastard! How could a man be that cruel?

Bella needed medical help and I would see to it that Mom brought her to my office tomorrow. I really needed to talk to her.

_Want her to stick around, huh? Noticed those big brown eyes, didn't you? _

Shut up.

Bella threw a kick, hitting my bad knee and I jumped away, rubbing it.

"Please don't hurt me, James," she begged, continuously breaking my heart.

Ignoring the pain in my knee, I stepped close again, leaning in close, and whispering, "Calm down, Bella," while hoping like hell it'll work.

Miraculously, it does and Bella stopped thrashing.

When she turned into her pillow, and I was satisfied that she would be okay, I moved to the door. "Sleep well, Bella," I whispered to myself and exited the room.

Since sleep was shot to hell for me, I headed downstairs. The house was silent and it would give me the time I needed to think. Mom always said I was just like my dad, and sometimes, I could see it. We both love our silence. We were also always the first ones up at the crack of dawn, ready to work.

Walking into the kitchen, I went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. I headed over to the breakfast bar while opening it and taking a seat, letting the questions overlap my mind.

There were so many questions I wanted to ask Bella. But I knew I would have to be careful and take my time if I wanted to get to know her because she was skittish and very afraid of me. I could see it in her eyes. She tried to put on a brave face, but beneath that, she was petrified.

Bella. It was a beautiful name; even the meaning was perfect for the frail girl upstairs. Everything about her melted my heart. I wanted to help her so bad, especially after hearing all the things Jenks had found out.

Bella had been trapped with a monster for six years. Which must have garnered a lot of scars, both physically and mentally. While I wanted to be careful in how we handled this, I also wanted to ensure that Bella never have to see the face of that asshole James Carter again.

There was something about Bella that tugged at my heart. When I was around her, when I held her in my arms after she had passed out, my heart skipped a beat like it never had before with any other woman; not even Alice, who I thought I wanted to spend my life with.

I had given Alice the world. Anything her heart desired, I gave it to her including the 2010 Porsche Spyder Concept, I had bought for her birthday.

But she spit it back in my face with her betrayal.

My water was finished so I got up to get another and turn the coffeemaker on. I'd head up for a shower and change my clothes to my usual shirt and jeans before heading out on the ranch for my morning chores. Yes, I had ranch hands just my dad did, but I loved to get my hands dirty. I wasn't the type of rich kid to sit around and let everybody else do the work for him. I was the type to jump in and help.

After I switched the coffeemaker on, a light turned on and I turned to see a surprised Bella gaping at me before she screamed and fell on her butt.

_**Bella**_

When I opened my eyes it was five am. The clock on the nightstand said it and I don't know if I was still on autopilot, thinking that I had to get up and get things in order for James's inspection, but I shot up out of bed and made it before rushing to the bathroom.

When I stopped dead in my tracks at the beauty that was before in the elegantly decked out bathroom, I reminded myself that it was just a dream and I had gotten away from James. He hadn't come back to drag me to hell.

I did it. I was free.

But while my body felt it, my mind was another story. I couldn't get over my fear and I doubt I would ever be able to. I would spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder and doubting myself but at least, I wasn't with James.

That was the good part.

Leaving those thoughts behind, I decided to start my day after I got over how marvelous this bathroom looked. Maria must have had input in its design because I was enamored throughout it; from the sight of the bathtub that could fit three people to the shower that could fit six. The prestige finish of the room was a dream. The vanity and decorative tiled floor was fit for a princess. It was just gorgeous!

I stripped down and turned on the water, letting it heat up before I stepped in and jumped back as all the sprays hit me. They were coming from all sides! I loved this shower!

Lathering up in the sweet mango smelling body wash, I wanted to ask Maria as soon as I saw her where I could get some more. It smelled divine.

I got out of the shower with the intent on heading downstairs after getting dressed, and drying off and re-dressing in my jeans and t-shirt because my bag wasn't in my room, I did just that while reminding myself to ask Maria for my backpack woke she came downstairs. She must have picked it up after I fainted.

Outside my bedroom, the hall was long, empty, and silent. I made my way down it and got to the stairs; taking it down to the ground floor while I admired the décor with the morning sun peeking through the windows, and lighting my way.

When I got to the kitchen, I was ready to clean.

There was a party yesterday and with my arrival, maybe Sue didn't get the time to wash the dishes. So I thought I would do them for her as a sign that I would help out around here in any way I could.

I found the light switch next to the kitchen and flipped it.

When his eyes met mine, curious and probing, his fiery blue eyes made me freeze in shock.

Between the nightmare I had, and Jasper's searching look, I couldn't think of anything else to do but scream.

I tried to back away but I only fell flat on my ass.

Jasper rushed over while I attempted to frantically crawl away. "Hey, hey, calm down," he said in a calm tone. The way he said it, it reminded me of the voice I had sworn I heard earlier on, but it couldn't be him. I was dreaming.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Bella," Jasper said, holding out a hand for me to take. "Come on, let me help you up."

I took his hand and he pulled me up without effort. He lifted me up, carrying me over to the breakfast bar like a child cradled in his arms. He sat me down on top of it and started touching my sides and my hands.

I trembled and flinched away. Oh my God! Was he like James? Did he want something else in order for me to stay? Because I couldn't do that.

I doubt I could ever touch another man again.

"I can't," I begged, hoping he would understand.

Jasper looked at me. His eyes, suddenly angry, as he seemed to comprehend what I meant. "I would never do that."

"I'm sorry." I had offended him.

"Bella, I would never ask _that_ of you in exchange for anything," Jasper explained. "We don't operate like that around here."

"Okay, but I wasn't snooping around, I swear," I said quickly, causing his mood to change and making him chuckle. "I was just…I thought that maybe I'd do the dishes and get breakfast ready but I don't know what you guys eat, and now that I'm here, I'm not sure if Sue would want me invading her kitchen." I rambled on as he stared at me with a smile.

"It's alright, Bella," he drawled. "Sue won't mind. In fact, she'll welcome the help."

"Really?" I sighed in relief. I was thrilled to hear that because I loved cooking more than anything.

"Really," he smiled.

Jasper asked if anything hurt and when I told him no. He helped me down off the bar and told me to follow him into the kitchen area. There, he showed me around, pointing out where all the pots and pans were, surprising me that he knew so much. My eyes must have held a quizzical look because he let out a laugh and answered my unspoken question.

"I love the main house. I grew up here so I kinda know where everything is. I know this house inside and out, Bella."

"Oh, but you said main house?" I remembered that Maria said there was more than one house on the ranch.

"Yes, this is the main house," Jasper said. "The family house, and I live in the other house on the ranch. I wanted somewhere to myself without being too far from my family."

"Wow."

Jasper told me that the coffee pot was on and that he was leaving to my own devices. I had free reign and he looked forward to what I would make for breakfast after he again said Sue would have no problem with me making it.

"See you at breakfast," I smiled and meant it.

Jasper was different. He was something I only ever met once in my life.

Something I had lost.

I shook away the thought and got to work.

After the plates and pots were clean, I moved on to breakfast. While washing the dishes, I'd had the time to think about what I wanted to make and decided on Spanish omelets and waffles. The family would have their choice of coffee or juice to go with it.

When Jasper got back downstairs, he took my breath away. He was fresh from his shower, his hair wet and dark like his mom's and he was clad in t-shirt and jeans along with his boots, looking like something out of a magazine.

"Something smells really nice in here," he complimented.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said. His eyes were peering into mine and I was positively shivering from their fierce gaze.

But not in terror.

No, I felt something else. Something I had thought I would never feel again. Desire.

Which was strange, because earlier on, I feared what his touch meant. But now, this strong pull was coercing me, influencing me, and just like last night, I told myself that it was just me acknowledging Jasper's beauty.

So I fought to keep my eyes on his and not on his body as I asked, "Would you like a four berry smoothie to take to work?"

He chuckled. "I've never had one of those. I'd love one! But can I ask you to make two because my best friend will want to devour mine, and with that sweet smelling breakfast coming from behind you, I doubt I'll be in a mood to share. He needs his own."

"I can do that."

"I'll see you when I get back," Jasper said, moving toward the entryway that led outside.

"Alright," I replied, while trying not to stare at his ass. What was going on with me?

Jasper smiled but stopped short before stepping outside. "Bella, I would like to see at my office in town. I know you might fear talking to me, but I can't let you stay here without knowing…"

"What happened and why I look like this," I said and he nodded.

I understood. I was frail looking and had bruises. I was running and if I wanted to stay, Jasper wanted to know the truth but he wanted to hear it from me.

"I'll be there."

He nodded again and smiled before going through the doors.

Jasper didn't return until the others were at the breakfast table and joined them.

Sue had complimented me when she tasted her omelet and promptly told Maria that she was taking a vacation. Everyone laughed.

I could hear my stomach grumbling but I ignored it, telling myself I'd eat later.

However, Jasper wasn't having it. He was seated beside while I watched everyone enjoy their breakfast. He pushed a plate in front of me, and though, I didn't want to eat it, his kind eyes were so cute while they were pleading that I had no choice. I was finding that I couldn't resist or refuse Jasper.

Sue and I washed the dishes after breakfast and when Jasper came to collect his smoothies, he reminded me that I would be seeing him later on.

"Mom will be taking to me, alright?"

"Yes, Jasper." I felt a little scared and Jasper seemed to know.

"Don't be scared, Bella," he told me. "I'll never hurt you."

It might not have meant a lot for him to say that, but to me, it was sweetest thing I have ever heard.

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><p><em><strong>Next: Bella goes to the doctor.<strong>_


	7. Doctor's Orders

_**AN: Bella follows Jasper's orders and goes to town to see him. She meets Carlisle and they discover quite a bit about Bella's abuse. **_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter six: Doctor's Orders<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Maria, December, 2010...<strong>_

"My God, Bella, that was a fabulous breakfast," I said excitedly, nudging Bella's shoulder, making her smile as we drove to town.

I had to compliment her on the food she had prepared this morning. I wasn't a cooking fan but I could help myself in kitchen.

However, Bella was master of it all. It made me curse the ridiculous mother she had. I wanted to smack that woman. How could she sit by and let her daughter's talent go to waste on a bastard of a son-in-law?

"I just wanted to make something nice for you guys," Bella shrugged.

"Nice?" I chuckled. That was beyond nice. "That's something I would've eaten at the Four Seasons!" She laughed and it made me smile because I didn't know what my son had in store for her today.

Before Jasper left for his medical practice this morning, he told me to bring Bella to him today. He said that he and Bella had already discussed it and she was okay with it. It made me want to ask what they talked about, but I refrained. I was just happy that Jasper was giving this a chance.

He seemed a lot less moody than this morning, and it made me do an internal cheer. Things must have gone well last night and he got to break up with Alice.

_About damn time!_

"So, you can do more dishes like that?" I asked Bella, glancing at her as I pulled onto Main Street and took a right at the second light, making my way to Jasper's office.

I loved that my boy was a doctor. It ran in his blood. My father was a doctor, my little sister, Esme is a psychologist and Jasper's granduncle on his father's side was a physician as well.

Jasper was a kind soul with a big heart; he always wanted to help others. The way he wanted to help Bella now.

I wasn't sure what he was up to, but I supposed he wanted to run tests and speak to her. And I would be there for her, helping her through it.

When I pulled into the parking lot, parking my car next to Emmett's truck, I had a thought. Could I get Esme to work with her too? Bella had been through a lot of trauma over the six years she spent with James Carter. She was going to need help sorting that out, if she was going to learn to live again.

Would Esme be willing to take Bella on as a patient?

I'd have to ask, but that was if Jasper hadn't already beaten me to it.

I'd be paying for Bella's therapy of course, because she needed to see that the world wasn't only filled with monsters like James. There were also people like myself and my family along with the person that helped her. We all cared.

"Well, we're here," I declared, killing the engine. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I want to do this. I want to stay," Bella said.

Abuse was the hardest thing to talk about. To sit there and share your experiences with strangers was damn near impossible. You may want help, but because you've spent all your time thinking that no one _could_ help, you kept it all bottled up inside.

However, Bella saying that she wanted to do this, to let Jasper question her and run tests on her, was saying a lot. It was showed great strength.

I was so proud of her.

Bella stayed close as we walked into Jasper and Emmett's practice together. I knew that the guys had just spruced up the office so I was looking forward to seeing the new decor.

The waiting area was packed with patients, some looking genuinely sick while others looked hardly sick enough to be here. Judging by the done up hair, makeup and the short skirts these women were sporting, they didn't need to be anywhere near a doctor's office.

Emmett walked out of his office, waved at me and called in the next patient. I smiled back at my future son-in-law, while the other women swooned. I shook my head and made my way over to Nurse Harper.

"Is it always like this?" I asked her.

She rolled her eyes and chuckled, "Every day. Sometimes, I have to run their little asses out of here."

I laughed. I loved Althea Harper. She was a no nonsense woman like myself. Althea was in her fifties, African American, voluptuous, and proud of it.

Her words, not mine.

Althea was one of my good friends. We had met at the hospital when I walked in that fateful night I ran away from my ex and met my future husband, John Whitlock. At the time, Althea was a candy striper who held that same no nonsense attitude she continued with throughout the years.

"So after you run them out?" I chuckled, knowing where this was going because it was a complaint of Jasper's.

"They are back the very next day," Althea finished for me, laughing while she took Bella in.

"Hi there, pretty girl, how are you?" she said, turning her attention to Bella.

I moved out of the way, letting Bella face her. While Althea leaned back in her chair waiting on Bella's reply.

"I'm good," Bella smiled, making me sigh in relief. I didn't want her to fear Althea. "But I think I'll be better after one of your bosses help me out."

"I think you would be too," Althea smiled back while Bella continued to impress me.

We stayed at Althea's desk, laughing at her jokes until Jasper walked out of his office with an elderly patient behind him.

He looked at us with a wide grin, his eyes falling on Bella's, and mine and Althea's looking between the two of them. We chuckled softly but didn't say a word.

I don't think I have to wonder where the perfect girl for my son would be coming from or when she would show up. I think she is already here. That would be my little secret for now. Let's just say a mother knows best.

Jasper called Bella over and I stayed with Althea.

"Did you see that?" I asked her anxiously.

"I've never seen him look at a woman like that before! Who is she?" she questioned excitedly. Althea hated Alice. She thought that she wasn't good enough for her boss, and Althea loved Jasper like family. So she felt protective of him.

"Her name is Bella Swan. I found her outside of town," I told her. "Her car was stolen."

"And the starving?" Althea always got straight to the point.

"A bad life," I simply said. I wasn't sure if I should be sharing Bella's past yet.

But Althea was no fool. "Bad huh? Hmm! An abusive life, you mean. Some bastard wanted her to look that small. The poor thing, I hope she listens to Jasper and Emmett."

"I hope so too."

Emmett came out of his office and joined whatever conversation Jasper had going with Bella. She didn't look nervous until Emmett entered the equation.

Jasper noticed so he called me over, probably out of reassurance. Maybe he needed my help in wanting Bella not to be afraid of Emmett and his bulky figure. Emmett was built like a body builder and I could see how it could be a bit intimidating at times. So I said goodbye to Althea, and walked over, integrating myself in the middle of the situation.

Whatever Jasper thought, was right. She was a little scared of Emmett. The minute I walked over, she fused herself to my side.

"Hello, I'm Emmett McCarty. I'm Jasper's future brother-in-law," Emmett said, giving Bella a warm smile, and holding his hand out for her to shake.

Emmett's smiles were so infectious. You couldn't help but be happy around him. While he could be a serious guy sometimes, he was also a jovial person who knew how to put you at ease with as much as one sentence.

"Hi, Dr. McCarty," Bella said formally. "It's nice to meet you." As she said this, she took his outstretched hand and shook it, bravely taking a step away from me.

"Rosie told me about you," he said to Bella while Jasper and I watched their interaction. "I hope you don't mind."

"No, I don't," Bella chuckled softly.

"That's good to know," Emmett concluded. "Well, Bella, I'm here at Jasper's request and I would like to work with you as well. We need to do something this…" He gestured at her too thin figure. "…issue." Emmett looked very concerned.

"I want to work with you all too," Bella admitted. "At least, until I get back on my feet. My car stolen outside of town and I have nowhere to go. Well, I do, but I can't go there yet."

Well, that's new. She had somewhere to go. But where? I suppose Jenks will let us know if Bella doesn't.

"Alright then, darlin'," Emmett said with a wide grin, making her give him a smile. _That's Emmett!_ "That's good to know. Now, you'll be working with Jasper today, and he's gonna start a file on you and then we'll all take things from there."

Bella nodded and Althea walked over as Emmett went on, "We're gonna help you, Bella. Everything will be fine."

"Thank you," Bella said to us all; tears welling up in her eyes.

Jasper opened a file on Bella at his practice in case of emergencies he said. Emmett helped with a few things and then he and Althea left to go and deal with the other patients.

Jasper asked Bella a few questions but nothing too invading. He was taking his time with her.

Bella answered all she could, and when she couldn't, Jasper simply moved on. I knew he wasn't satisfied, but my glare made him back off.

My son could be an inquisitive individual sometimes.

When Jasper was through, he announced that we were going to see Carlisle at the hospital.

"You called Esme too, didn't you?" It was more of a statement than a question and judging by that little smirk on his face, I knew he did.

Jasper had been busy this morning.

Althea and Emmett told him they would hold the fort for the rest of the day and Bella smiled and told them goodbye while something in me feared that she was just putting her best foot forward.

"What do you think?" I asked Jasper as we walked to my car with Bella ahead of us. Jasper would be travelling with us to the hospital.

"She's trying her best not to freak out, but she needs to understand that it's okay to," Jasper said as if he was reading my mind.

But if Bella was trying to be okay with everything, how will she react to the next part?

We drove to the hospital in silence, and when we finally arrived, it was just as Jasper and I had surmised, Bella has been putting her best foot forward.

When she realized that we were really here and she had to do this, she became a bit hysterical. She started to cry and wouldn't get out of the car.

It took a while, but Jasper talked her into it. Whatever he said must have been very soothing. He could be an understanding man.

Jasper told her that he and I would be with her the whole time. We weren't going anywhere. We'll be with her through it all and Bella seemed mildly comforted by that, because it was enough to get her out of the car.

Bella cried and apologized to Jasper profusely, wanting him to know how sorry she was for freaking out. But Jasper dismissed it, telling her some of what he feared, in hopes that it would ease some of her worry and make her smile.

It worked.

A couple of minutes later, we all walked through the emergency doors and were greeted by Carlisle at the front desk and he introduced himself to Bella. She was visibly shaken, but she was trying to hold it together. Maybe my son's words were ringing in her ear. God, I hope so.

We headed to Carlisle's office, and Bella clung to me the entire way. And I held her just as strong. I knew what it felt like to walk these halls, how nerve wracking it felt to be under these fluorescent lights and feel judged by the curious looks you get as you moved by.

I hated that feeling and I wanted to spare Bella a bit of it if I could.

Carlisle led us inside his office, and in there, we had a brief discussion before Bella bravely started to question him.

"How have you worked here?" she asked. I loved that. She was fighting for control. She was trying to get her nerves under control to get through this.

Bella was a brave young woman.

Carlisle smiled, showing that he welcomed her forwardness. "I've been here a while; a couple of years actually. Jasper and Emmett work here too."

Bella glanced at Jasper questioningly. "You work here?"

"Yes," Jasper chuckled. "I take a couple of weekend shifts to help out when they're short staffed. So does Emmett."

"Okay," Bella said quietly.

Carlisle and Jasper talked around Bella and me for a while, deciding the best treatment for her, but Bella wasn't to be left out. It seemed that once she was comfortable, she would let her voice be heard, and would tell them what tests she knew of and didn't like.

But she doesn't know Jasper, and he could be very convincing. That boy was charming as well. Once that smirk lit up his face, it was over for his unsuspecting victim. I've seen women positively swoon when my son spoke to them.

It was an amazing sight and I could see it working on Bella right now as he explained about the benefits of having certain tests done and Bella agreed right after.

I gave him a look as we walked out.

"What?" he whispered smugly. "I'm good."

"Oh shut up," I muttered. He got that charm from his father. I swore half the shit John got me to agree to, when he turned on that charm! The man was good and his son wasn't far behind.

Catching up with Bella, I ignored Jasper's laugh from somewhere behind me.

Carlisle led us to a private room, and Jasper handed Bella a hospital gown, and showed her the bathroom.

Esme soon after and once Bella was changed and came out, Jasper helped her up onto the exam table and Esme introduced herself to Bella.

Bella stiffened when she heard Esme was a psychologist but Jasper talked her down once again. Esme cocked an eyebrow at me and I excused myself to follow my sister outside when she whispered for me to do so.

"It's been happening since she woke up and spoke to him last night," I told Esme when she asked about Bella's reaction to Jasper. She said Jasper had already given her a rundown of things, but it stunned her that Bella had only been with us for almost 48 hours and yet, she responded to Jasper with trust.

"I can't believe she trusts him," she said incredulously, more to herself than me. "A man!"

"I'm not sure what it is," I said, answering her anyways. "All I know is that Jasper can get her to do whatever he wants right now. She shows fear sometimes, but she covers it well."

"Does she flinch when he talks sometimes?" Esme asked.

"Yes," I replied. "But Jasper calms her."

"Yes, but the fear for him is still there. He'd have to do something and it'll resurface in her. He thinks the same thing too. He told me of his resemblance to her abuser…" I loved that Esme didn't even want to call James, Bella's husband. "…and how she fainted."

"I think she suffers from PTSD."

"Jasper does too," Esme said. "He told me about the screaming."

"I heard," I replied. I did and I got up, intent on going to Bella's room. But when I opened my door, I saw that Jasper had already beaten me to the punch and a couple minutes later, the screaming stopped.

"So you think that there is something similar in the control James used and Jasper's alleged control over her?" God, I hoped not.

"In a way, yes," Esme said sadly. "The control she lived under is playing out here. She doesn't see Jasper as James all the time, but the stigma is there. Now, if she's work with me, I can help her distinguish the difference."

We re-entered the private room as a nurse finished checking Bella's vital signs and hooking her up to an IV. Then it was Carlisle and Jasper's turn.

Carlisle and Jasper went through the typical examination with Bella while a gynecologist and a nutritionist were called in. When Bella heard that a gyno had been called in, she got nervous. I tried to calm her, telling her that Zafrina was one of the best and also Jasper's friend from medical school, but it did very little to help.

When Zafrina walked in a couple minutes later, Bella could hardly deal with her presence in the room, but again, Jasper was her saving grace. He talked her into letting Zafrina examine her and I held her hand the entire time.

Bella flinched and cried through her time with Zafrina while she apologized and did her job. I wanted to yell and scream at everyone for supposedly hurting Bella, but I knew that Jasper was right. This had to start now. We had to know what we were dealing with. Also, we were helping Bella take back her life, starting with her health.

But the more tests are done, the more I wanted to hurt James. And from the hardened look on Jasper's face when he returned to the room with Carlisle in tow. I wasn't the only one. Zafrina told Jasper he would have the results in a couple of hours, and left the room with a tear in her eye.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Jasper told her solemnly and she nodded, wiping her tears away.

Then, the questions came.

After a small snack, which I had to convince Bella to eat, because she claimed that she wasn't hungry though I know that breakfast was long ago and I was starving but I understood.

James must have kept her on a strict diet. My ex had tried to do with me. He would make snide comments about my eating habits or my weight when we were together.

But where he failed with me, James succeeded with Bella.

Rat bastard!

Carlisle took a step back after letting Bella know what would be next and then it was Jasper's turn.

He pulled the stool close to Bella's bed and took a seat. He smiled at her reassuringly, and she gave him a timid one in return.

"Hi, Bella," he said calmly, probably hoping it'll coax her into talking.

"Hi, Jasper," she croaked.

"I know this has been hard but we are here to help you," Jasper assured her. "All of this…" he pointed at the medical equipment around her. "…and all of us…" He pointed to me, Esme, himself, the nurse, and Carlisle, "…are here to help you."

"Why?" Bella asked softly. The sound of her small voice made me want to cry.

"Because we want to," Jasper said. "You've been through enough. It's time to move on. Do you want to move on, Bella?"

She looked at all of us, her eyes skeptical and riddled with fear, but her answer gave me hope. "Yes, Jasper, I want to move on."

"Good," Jasper smiled.

He picked up her chart with a sigh and began, "Bella, how did you get that bruise on your side?"

Bella stiffened at his question and didn't answer. But Jasper wasn't fazed by her silence. He glanced up at her, holding her gaze until she looked down at her lap, but Jasper continued to stare at her. "Bella?"

Still, no answer.

"Bella?" he said again, moving to touch her hand, and she jumped at his closeness.

But, she didn't move away or let go of his hand which she had gripped. A strange look marred my sister's face as she looked on.

"What is it?" I whispered to Esme.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," she said softly, her eyes fixed on Jasper and Bella. "It's very odd, how she demonstrates a small amount of relaxation in regards to Jasper."

I glanced at Bella and Jasper in time to notice my son lifting Bella's hand and lacing their fingers. Esme sighs.

"What is it?"I ask her.

"He cares for her," Esme said. "That might be a problem."

"How so?"

"Jasper is a very passionate man. His love knows no bounds," Esme sighs. "If they embark on anything more than a friendship, he could endanger her by wanting to confront James."

I nodded, and opted not to answer because Bella was already finding her into my heart, and I wanted to send James to hell for what he had done to her.

We decided to focus on Bella, hoping that she would answer Jasper. Carlisle asked the nurse to leave the room, telling her he'd call her back in when needed.

He was trying to make Bella feel comfortable enough to talk. So I decided to help.

"Bella, do you remember what I said in the car?" She looked at me as did Jasper. Actually, all eyes were on me.

"Yes," she said in a quiet tone that I could barely hear.

"Well, these people, we can trust," I said with conviction. "These people will walk to the end of the earth for us, just to get us better. They did it for me, please, let them do it for you."

I wasn't sure my little speech would help, but Jasper's smile made it worth it.

Bella held my gaze, whimpering, as tears pooled in her eyes. She gripped Jasper's hand tighter and began to sob. We let her cry, and when she could finally speak. "My husband, James, he hit me there."

Jasper wrote something down. "Was it the first time?"

We had heard this but I knew he wanted to hear these things from her and get them on record. We didn't want to push her, but we needed her to talk; to tell us things so we could fully understand what happened to her.

"No," Bella said. "It happened many times before."

"I'm sorry," Jasper whispered.

"Don't be," Bella said harshly. "You didn't do it." The mood change was to be expected though. I knew what that felt like. How out of control it feels the first time you realize that you can talk back without getting hit.

"No, I didn't," Jasper said, rolling with the punches. He was handling himself well with her. "But my concern is the damages this…"

"Abuse," Bella sneered. "It's okay. You can say it. Abuse. And I'm not stupid for staying. I wasn't in love. I never loved him!" She hissed. "I was just dumb and couldn't speak up for myself."

Her tears started to flow again as Jasper interjected, "My aunt over here…" He pointed to Esme. "…as you know, she's a psychologist and she can help you to do that. She can assist you in learning how to speak up for yourself. She can drive away your fears if you let her help you."

Bella looked thoughtful, the tears streaming down and soaking her paper gown, as she nodded. "I'm sorry for getting mad at you," she told Jasper. Again, another mood swing. She still feels that something bad will happen if she doesn't apologize right away and act meek. Weakness and submission must have been want James loved.

"It's more than fine," he smiled and then told Bella what they would be doing next.

Bella asked about Zafrina and Jasper told her the results would be in soon and that she shouldn't worry. He would help her get through whatever she heard.

The day went on turning into late evening as we went from blood tests for just about everything to x-rays, an ultrasound and an MRI exam, so that Jasper could be assured that Bella could withstand the health regime he wanted to put her under.

Carlisle and Jasper left no stones unturned.

I took a break to call home and check on things. Sue told me all was well and asked about Bella, wishing her the best.

A few tests came back immediately and Bella was healthy on those. Her blood samples showed no abnormalities. Her x-rays showed old breaks, angering my bristling son, and her exam from Zafrina and ultrasound also showed no abnormality though Bella seemed surprised by that.

We didn't ask and Bella didn't share.

However, I overheard Jasper and Zafrina talking in the hall while Bella took a short nap, and went there, including myself into the conversation.

"What do you mean?" he asked her, grimacing when I stepped closer to them. Zafrina was about to say something, but stopped when she saw me.

"What?" I asked her. "I'm gonna get the information out of Jazz any way so talk."

Zafrina laughed while Jasper sighed sadly and explained before Zafrina went on, "She said something had happened to Bella."

"I expect that he raped her," I told the two of them.

"I do too," Zafrina said without a hint of surprise in her tone. "Bella looks like a fighter so I think he would have to force her into submission from early on."

"I was thinking the same," Jasper added.

"So what happened?" I asked them.

"Bella has had an abortion." I gasped when Zafrina said it. My hand flew to my mouth and I wanted to scream. How much did this girl have to endure?

Jasper placed an arm around me, keeping me grounded. "Maybe he doesn't like kids," Jasper said, pulling me closer in his arms.

"Maybe not," Zafrina said.

They talked a little before a call from Jenks interrupted us. I moved away and answered him. When Jasper came over to me while Jenks told me about Bella's biological father, I stopped him and told him to share this with Jasper.

Charlie Swan was the chief of police in a rainy little town called Forks, in Washington. He must be the place Bella said she had where she could go, but with the fear of putting Charlie in the line of fire when it came to James, she opted to run.

_**Jasper**_

After speaking with Jenks, telling him to dig up more; especially about Bella's mom because I want to know why Bella couldn't have gone to Charlie long ago and I had a feeling her mother was keeping her away with lies, Mom and I re-entered Bella's room.

The nutritionist came in. She and Carlisle worked a diet plan for Bella, wanting her to focus on protein in order to regain some healthy weight.

By the time we drove away from the hospital, the clock read eight pm. Bella was fast asleep in my mother's lap, and I was starving.

It had been a busy day for me. I learned a little more about Bella, and it was enough to make me wish she could stay in town forever. I didn't want her anywhere near that psycho ever again.

"So what are we doing about food? 'Cause I'm starving," Mom said from the backseat.

"Me too," Bella said weakly, alerting us that she was awake. I smiled a little, feeling triumphant that Bella had admitted that she was hungry.

I knew she had an eating disorder. Possibly, it wasn't intentional, but with the strict regime that she had to be under to be so underweight, one developed.

I watched her closely this morning at breakfast and if I hadn't coerced her into eating, she wouldn't have.

Bella had a caring nature, which was both a blessing and curse in her favor. She would take care of everyone around her, neglecting herself in the process, and I hoped Esme could free her of that.

I was happy she agreed to working with Esme on getting her life back.

"Alright then," I replied, driving to my favorite burger joint, Whataburger.

When we got there, I turned Mom's car into the drive thru. My truck was already back home because I had called Rose earlier on when Bella was with Zafrina and Sue brought her to town to pick it up.

I ordered enough burgers and fries for everyone, both in the car and at home while adding a Strawberry shake for Bella. She looked like she liked strawberries. This morning when I pushed a bowl of fruits in front of her with her breakfast, she paid particular attention to the strawberries in there.

After I paid, I took our food, smiling at the girl in the window who winked at me while Mom scoffed from the backseat and Bella lightly chuckled. I steered the Mercedes back on the road, the two of them no mind and headed home to the ranch; a home that now included Bella Swan.


	8. Good For Nothing

_**AN: Bella learns the ropes and comes in contact with an uninvited guest. **_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bits of Bella's abusive past are mentioned in this chapter in italics. If you are sensitive to the matter, please skip over it. Thank you. Spanish translations were taken from Bing. <strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter Seven: Good For Nothing<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, December, 2010..<strong>_

When we got back to the ranch, Jasper helped me out of the car. I didn't know I would be in pain, but he said that because of the procedures I went through today, the ache would catch with me at some point.

And I guess that was now.

Jasper held my hand, walking me to the door, because I felt like I had been hit by a car. Everything hurt.

I was almost there when a cramp in my side caused me to double over in pain. "Bella?" Jasper said, his voice filled with concern. "Come on, let me help you."

I was about to ask how else will he help me, because he was already escorting me hand-in-hand to the door when he lifted me up in his arms, cradling me like a baby. "Hold on," he said and I trembled at the sound of his voice.

I was a little fearful and also grateful for his help, but being so close to him was making me confused.

I didn't understand my reaction to Jasper. I know I should be afraid of him, because truly, how could I trust him, I didn't know anything about him, but I didn't. Something about Jasper relaxed; put my mind to ease.

It was strange. How could he bring me peace and comfort? Why did I breathe a sigh of relief mostly when he was near?

But why was I questioning this when I knew what was drawing me to Jasper. It was his eyes. They were so kind, even when he was angry; there was warmth in them.

With the little I knew about Jasper so far, made him so unlike James and I was happy about that.

Jasper lowered me to the floor when we entered the foyer, and then he helped his mom with the food. Maria led us to the dining room, while Jasper walked me there; his hand never leaving mine, and me, not wanting it to.

Rose, Peter and Sue filed in the room one by one, each asked how I was, and me telling them that I'm fine before they attacked Maria for the food.

Dinner went on without a hitch. Conversation flowed freely between everyone and I didn't feel left out. They integrated me into everything, even when Maria started to talk about Christmas and her plans as the rest of the family would be staying at the homes on the ranch.

Sue was wonderful. She stuck to me like a mom, making sure that I was okay, and not in too much pain. Which would then alert Jasper and he would ask if I was alright.

This family couldn't be more perfect. I wish that I could stay, but if James got close and I caught wind of it, I was out of here. I didn't want to endanger Maria and her family any more than I already have.

When dinner ended, everyone went about their business. I was dead on my feet, but Jasper was right there to help.

He and Sue escorted me to the stairs, but Rose stopped us before we could ascend them.

"Bella, let me know how everything fits." She was gone before I could ask what she meant.

But when we all got to my room and Sue opened the door for me, we were stopped dead in our tracks by the ton of clothes, shoes and accessories on the bed.

Tears welled up in my eyes and a sob tore from my throat. "Oh my God."

"It's alright, hun," Sue coaxed as my head collapsed on her shoulders while I wept. "They tend to shock you like this."

"Thank you," I said.

"You're more than welcome," Jasper answered. "Let me know if you need anything else."

"Welcome to the Whitlock family, Bella," Peter said, coming to stand beside Sue with a smile.

"Thank you." I couldn't stop saying it.

Whatever I could come up with by means of gratitude for this family and Phil would never be enough.

**~~abt~~ **

After Jasper, Peter and Sue left me, I took tentative steps toward my bed, still reeling from the disbelief that everything I saw was all for me.

There were so many things. So many clothes. There were clothes for every season. It was chilly right now. And the winter looked to be a cold one. But Rosalie had taken care of that. I had everything I would need.

On top of the shirts, I saw a note that finally made Rosalie's statement make sense. _'From Rosalie, let me know if you need anything else.'_

There were even shoes! A note was sticking out of a pair of light brown and pink cowboy boots that caught my eye. I pulled it out as fresh tears filled my eyes.

'_From Jasper.'_ It read, making me smile.

Before bed, I put everything away and then went through my nightly routine, changed into my new pajamas and crawled into bed. But my happiness quickly diminished when I closed my eyes. Because this was where James lived. In my dreams.

"_All night! All night, you flirted with those bastards, Marie!" James yelled at me after he slapped me across the face as soon as we walked into the house. "You think I like those pricks? And to have them staring at what's mine because my wife is a little slut, was insulting!" _

_While James kept screaming at me, I was fighting to breathe because he grabbed my neck and his hand was wrapped so tight around it that it felt like I would stop breathing in a second. _

"_I…didn't…I tried to get them to…stop," I struggled to say as his angry eyes glared at me._

"_Tried? Tried!" he shouted, letting go of my throat to shake me. _

_I gasped as he pulled back his fist; cringing as I prepared myself for the blow._

_It never mattered how many times I tried to do this, it would hurt the same. I would still feel everything. And when I fell to the ground from the impact, James laughed. And when I tried to crawl away, he followed, kicking me in the stomach, stopping me. _

_When I tried to beg, he kicked me again and again, and when I got on my hands and knees, determined to get away from his horrendous blows, he stepped on my neck. _

I awoke with a start. The clock said three am and I threw myself back down on the pillows. I hoped I didn't disturb anyone's sleep. I fought to keep my eyes open, because from here on out, I would be waiting for morning.

Today would be the real starting point of my life without James Carter.

**~~abt~~**

I meant Sue outside my door at six am and followed her downstairs. She said that today, we would be going on a tour of both the main house and Jasper's home to get me acquainted with everything and how this ran around here.

While we prepared breakfast, Sue thrilled me with short stories and jokes about Jasper and Rose while they were growing up. You could hear how much she loved them in every word she uttered.

Sue was so warm and jovial. She kept me smiling and laughing while we prepared the meal. She told me to choose the dish I wanted to make and I went with Eggs Benedict, but Sue advised me to add something else to the meal. She said that the boys loved their food and would definitely want more.

So she added some bacon and fluffy pancakes to the mix before we finished everything with coffee and a glass of orange juice for everyone, and then, we set the table.

"Now, stand back and watch it get devoured," she said as everyone entered the room, bidding us 'Good Morning'.

Sue was right. It was like a mad rush and the ton of food she and I had made, quickly disappeared. It was a good we shared ours already.

I tried to avoid the table, thinking that I'd just eat mine later since I had that huge burger last night, but Peter and Jasper weren't having that. They came over to the sink, where I was, washing up the pots Sue and I used, and promptly escorted me to the table.

Jasper pulled out my chair and Peter placed a plate of food in front of me, while Jasper disappeared for a minute and then I heard the blender going.

When he was through, he appeared beside me, taking a seat with his own plate and pushed a glass of protein shake before me without a word. He dug into his breakfast and Peter eyed me with a smirk.

"Too much for you, Little Bit?" he asked. I should be a little sad or offended by the description but oddly, I wasn't. I kinda liked it.

"No," I said defiantly, loving that I didn't feel afraid. "I can handle it. Can you?"

I don't know where the challenging tone came from, but I liked that too and so did Peter, who laughed and started eating.

Jasper was chuckling the whole time.

When breakfast ended, Jasper gave me a multivitamin, stating that I could take them until I felt a little stronger and had more energy.

"Once you're out of the woods, you can decide if and when you want to take them, alright?" Jasper smiled.

"Yes, thank you, Jasper." He nodded and called Peter over to him and together, they head out to the ranch.

"He'll be here today," Sue said. "They are working with the guys out there for most of the day."

"Okay," I replied.

"Good!" She clapped her hands enthusiastically. "Let's get this tour started."

We did the dishes and cleaned off the counter and stove and then Sue started my tour. Sue said we would be starting upstairs and then we'd come back downstairs to conclude.

I agreed.

Rosalie was walking out her bedroom, and I stopped her. "Thank you so much for what you did," I said. The clothes, the shoes and the accessories were all so much I didn't know what else to say. The gratitude they were showing me rendered me a speechless. I couldn't find anything else to say, but thanks.

"You're welcome, Bella," she smiled. Rosalie didn't look like one of those 'cheery' types of girls. She looked like someone who didn't bullshit and wasn't afraid to speak her mind. But the broad, kind smile that lit up her face warmed my heart and made feel a little less apprehensive in her presence. "I'm sorry for what happened to you."

"Me too," I said and Rosalie smiled genuinely again and we went our separate ways.

The bedrooms were out of this world. The one I was staying was a dream on its own and the rest were just as beautiful. Maria's room, Rosalie's and Jasper's, which was right next to mine, and spiked my shock and fear, were all magnificent.

Sue's room was fantastic. The light breezy tone of it was so inviting.

From there, after we changed some beddings as Sue said the rest of the family be starting to coming into town very soon, we carried on with my tour. From the den with the huge fireplace to the extensive library with a reading corner fit for a king, every part of this house was fabulous. But my tour wasn't over. Next, we went to a media room built like a mini movie theater, a game room, and another office.

If I owned a place like this, I don't think I'd ever leave home except for the essentials such as food and medical care.

Sue took me to where we would mostly work from, although she said that it would her working from these places as I would be working over at Jasper's. My fear spiked when she said that.

"What do you mean?" I couldn't help how panicked that question sounded. Jasper constantly showed me over the short time I have been here that there was nothing to fear when it came to him, but I couldn't help the apprehension I felt.

"It's okay, Bella," Sue said calmly. It looked like she understood my fear. "You are employed by Maria but you'll work from Jasper's. He's hardly there and he spends most of his time over at the main house anyways. You'll have free reign."

Jasper was hardly there so I didn't have to worry about him changing his mind and wanting to commit me because I keep running and hiding from him in his own home.

After Sue talked me down, we went through the large glass double doors that led out back. It was where Jasper loved to walk and Sue said it was an easy way to get to his place.

Jasper's home was on the eastern end of the property and I fell madly in love as soon as I saw it.

On the outside, it screamed family home and on in the inside was just as homey and lovely. I was no architectural genius but this was a beauty.

It was a three bedroom, three bathroom dream, completed with a small media room, a large kitchen, a laundry room about as big as a dorm room, an office that I think will definitely need my organizing skills since there were papers and books everywhere, a gym and a backyard that was a tropical oasis Sue in the summer Sue explained.

We went through Jasper's place, room by room, and with every step I took, I fell impossibly more in love with this house.

Finally, we ended up in the laundry room to what looked like a nightmare in the corner.

There was an over flowing pile of dirty laundry there and my breath almost came to a screeching halt at the dream standing in the other corner.

Jasper was changing his dirty shirt and I was doing all I could to remember how to catch a breath. His tattooed back was to me and I panted as I watched him pull on a new shirt; his tight muscles rippling with each movement.

He turned around to us and I gasped loudly causing Sue to look at me as I slapped a hand over my mouth while Jasper looked at me mischievously and smirked.

He must have been used to women reacting to him like this. But looking at Sue gave me my way out as she stood there like his mom about to scold him as her eyes danced between him and the dirty pile of clothes.

"What's all that?" she asked.

Jasper looked down at the clothes and then threw the newly dirty shirt on the pile. "Dirty clothes."

"Oh mi Dios, Jasper! ¿te enseño mejor?" Sue said.

"Yes, you did teach me better, but no time," Jasper said. He spoke Spanish. Wow!

Logically, why wouldn't he? Jasper looked like a smart guy; one who was always seeking knowledge. I could hear it in his line of questioning yesterday when he was trying to get to know me. But everything he said, literally the sound of his voice left me dumbfounded.

I had to laugh at myself. What was this guy doing to me?

They both looked at me and Jasper smiled while Sue looked like she wanted to check my head for a temperature higher than normal.

"I'm sorry, I'm good," I told the two of them.

"Well, that's nice," Jasper said, his voice making my stomach do flip flops. "Welcome to my home."

"Thanks. It's beautiful."

"Thank you," he said with a smile that made me sigh.

I had to look away from him. Jasper was a dream. And in my case, a very dangerous dream, because he would only be perfect for someone else.

Jasper led us outside then, telling me that I had free reign since he would hardly be there. Just like Sue had said. He said that between his job as a doctor, working on the ranch, and overseeing things on the business front, months could fly by and we wouldn't see one another.

I had to smile at how he was trying to reassure me. It was sweet.

I started ask questions of my own like how did we get the entire houses cleaned as Sue and I followed Jasper around while he showed me the barn, the stables and just about everything else.

Sue explained that there was a cleaning crew that came in three times a month to assist. I was happy to hear that because these houses were massive.

But the minute I saw them, all talk faded away and my eyes were glued on the majestic creatures, trotting or galloping around ahead of me in a lush green open field.

"They're so beautiful," I whispered, eyeing the horses.

"I'll take you for a ride some time then," Jasper drawled. I was so enthralled by the horses that his close proximity didn't even bother me.

"Where's Sue?" I asked, not even realizing that she was gone. I was leaning on the fence in amazement.

"She went in the house and said she'd see you inside," Jasper replied.

"Okay."

"Can you ride?" he asked.

"No," I replied automatically, lost in my admiration of the animals. I was watching one in particular. He or she was wild and lovely.

Jasper whistled and the horse stopped and looked our way. I looked at Jasper in shock and watched as he called the horse over.

He or she neighed and came to Jasper with ease, and he patted the horse's snout while I moved back a little. "Oh, it would have been nice to take you riding," Jasper said with a hint of sadness etched in his honey voice.

It was then I realized his question. "What did you ask me?" I inquired embarrassingly.

Jasper simply grinned, understanding that I didn't hear his question, and said, "I asked if you could ride?"

"Oh. Yes, I can."

"That's good to know," he said, eyeing the horse as he spoke softly to it. "His name is Thunder. You can pet him, he's very friendly."

I didn't even realize I was so far away until Jasper was beckoning me closer.

Bravely, I took a step forward and slightly flinched when Jasper took my hand, leading it up to Thunder's snout. When I touched him, he softly neighed and allowed me to pet him.

"He's gorgeous," I said, admiring the strong animal before me.

"Thanks, he's a good friend."

I glanced at Jasper. "A friend?"

"Horses can be as good a friend as a dog, if not more," he stated. "They are very loyal."

"I'll remember that," I smiled, and continued petting Thunder's snout. "I used to take equestrian lessons, and I used to dance and sing. But my heart's desire was to be a chef."

"That sounds wonderful," Jasper said, and I smiled at him.

I was smiling a lot around him and it should worry me, but it doesn't. I didn't feel shy or insecure, because Jasper always returned them with an open and honest grin.

Standing here, I felt like I could talk to him. "I used to enjoy performing," I told him. "It helped with my shyness and balance issues." He looked a little confused at that, so I added, "I wasn't always the most coordinated."

"Oh, okay," He chuckled, and then got serious. "Did…he stop you from dancing?"

The thought of James made me flinch and Jasper was quick to apologize. "I'm sorry."

"No, please don't apologize," I begged him. "You just want to understand. No, James didn't stop me from dancing. I…I lost someone. A great person and my passion for it went with him."

Jasper's brows knitted at the mention of Garrett and I briefly wondered why. "He sounds important."

"He was."

"Oh," he said lowly, focusing on Thunder.

What was it? Maybe my sadness pulled at something inside of him.

"Was he your boyfriend?" Jasper's voice sounded strange on that question. Maybe it was my imagination running wild, but I swore that I could detect jealousy in his tone.

"We were almost more, but he died before we could be."

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Jasper said, taking my hand. I trembled but I didn't move away from his touch. It felt safe.

"So what do you do exactly?" I wanted him to go back to the smiling, kind Jasper. I didn't want my past to leave him in a somber mood for the rest of the day.

There will be other days for that if he wanted to help me.

He smiled, his eyes lighting up and I smiled internally while he sent Thunder back out to run around with the other horses.

"I'm a doctor as you have seen, but I also run this ranch with my mama and sister. I inherited it from my daddy."

"Okay, but you said something about business inside," I reminded him. "Were you just talking about with other ranch owners?"

"No, we also used to sell oil," Jasper said. "But I don't allow anymore drilling to be done on our land."

"Wow, so all this…" I gestured to the houses and farm, "…is from oil?"

"And breeding animals," Jasper provided. "We also take part in the derby."

"The horses," I surmised.

"Yep, though we also have cattle," Jasper said. "The horses are the main thing. Thunder is a champion."

"That's great."

"Yes, it is."

We talked a little more after that and Jasper walked me back to the back entryway, dipping his Stetson like a true cowboy. "Have a good day, Ma'am."

I laughed and blushed as he chuckled and walked away. Sue smiled a knowing smile as she shook her head and walked away, humming.

What did that mean?

**~~abt~~**

I lifted the last load of laundry out of the washing machine and moved them to the counter. Sue walked into the laundry room.

"Almost done?" she asked.

"Yeah, this is the last one," I replied, sorting through the pile.

"Well, lunch is ready and I took out the steaks you wanted to use for dinner, and put them in the sink to thaw out," she informed me.

"Thanks a lot."

"Sure thing, hermosa," she smiled.

"You think I'm beautiful?" I asked. Maybe it sounded like a dumb question, but I never felt beautiful; except when Garrett was staring at me or when he would say it.

"Of course you are!" Sue declared. "And don't you ever forget it."

"Gracias," I laughed.

"Aye, you speak Spanish?"

"And French, Italian and a little Latin," I said proudly.

"Wow!" She cheered while I placed the clothes in the dryer and turned it on.

We went to the kitchen and I seasoned up the steaks, leaving them to marinate in the fridge while I had lunch. I was hungry. I don't know what was wrong with me but I loved that I wanted to eat now and I wasn't scared to.

The decorators were already here and were at work on the other rooms. When I sat down with Sue at the table, she told me she had already given the decorators their lunch.

We chatted while we ate and as Sue asked about my college years, and then the conversation moved to the languages I knew. "My daughter, Charlotte speaks Spanish fluently, and she speaks French too." Sue loved her daughter, Charlotte, or Char as she affectionately called her, very much.

Char was Peter's girlfriend and she had grown up with the Whitlock family. She worked as a paralegal for the law firm Peter worked for.

"That's wonderful," I said with a smile.

There was a gleam in Sue's eye as she said, "Jasper es trilingüe. Habla a español, aprendió de curso, Francés, alemán e incluso un poco de chino."

"¿De veras?" I asked her.

"Si, really," she said. "He is all around kind of guy. Jasper is a geek, you could say. He loves to read." Thought so. I knew he was a knowledgeable man. He sought it out, even in different languages. "And a whole bunch of other things. He loves challenges, and he tends to succeed in them. He's an amazing man. I'm so proud of him."

"He looks like he loves you too." He really did. Jasper looked like he adored Sue. The way spoke made you see that she was family to him.

Sue gave me a devilish smirk. "Le gustas mucho."

I gasped at her statement, and turned away. What did she mean Jasper liked me very much?

Tears started to cloud my vision and I let out a sad sigh. A part wanted something to be possible; to feel free to feel something other than terror or the need to escape. I couldn't. I could regain control over what was left of my life but that was it. I had no more for anything or anyone else. "El no puede." It wouldn't do Jasper any good to like me. I could let him and his family help me to a point, but I won't allow him to get close to me.

He would die. James would kill him if he found us and I couldn't do that to them. I couldn't steal Maria's son away because I was bad luck.

"Why?" Sue asked. "Your husband? He wasn't a husband, Bella. He was a demon. A man doesn't do that to a woman."

"What do you know?" The family must have been looking into my past.

"Enough to know that we will help you stay far away from that monster," Sue said as tears rolled down my face and my body shook with sobs.

She pulled me in her arms immediately and I didn't flinch, I welcomed her comfort. "Bella, He visto lo que ha estado buscando en Jasper, y lo que él ha sido mirándote. Hay algo creciendo allí. Y dos desea explorarlo o no, que sea allí, esperando ambos ver la verdad. Nosotros no podemos evitarlo a veces."

Sue was right. There was something stirring in me for Jasper. It has been from the moment our eyes met. I have this yearning to be close to him. But I knew the truth. I couldn't do it.

However, Jasper was making me question that. His mere presence calmed me. There was something there. Something that wouldn't go away.

"Sue," I cried. "Jasper can't. I know it seems like I'm growing an interest, even though, that's insane!" I said, moving out of her motherly embrace. "But I can't help it. He calms me. But nothing can come of it and if you can convince him to not pursue me…that is if he feels it too, then tell him, don't. I'll only get him killed."

Sue was thoughtful for a minute. "Jasper is very stubborn and like I said, he loves a challenge. But he's an understanding man and he'll respect your wishes. But I'll help you. I don't agree with it, because you two need each other more than you, but I'll help you."

We talked a little more while we made lunch for the guys outside. When we were through, I went and checked on the laundry. Sue came and helped me fold the items before we headed back to the kitchen, chatting as we go. She handed me a platter filled with sandwiches while she carried a tray with a glass pitcher and cups outside to the boys.

They were happy to see us and came over for their lunch. Peter came and grabbed a sandwich and shouted to Jasper to come in from out in the middle of the field and grab some grub.

Everything Sue and I had talked about came crashing down around me when I saw Jasper riding Thunder. He was approaching the fence and I couldn't breathe. My eyes were glued on him.

When he pulled Thunder to a stop and dismounted, wiping his sweat in the t-shirt and then stuffed it back in his back pocket, I took stock of his broad chest. He was sculpted by Gods. I was convinced.

Every move he made left me more and more breathless and it was Sue who brought me out of my stupor when she cleared her throat and I turned to her in time to see Peter eyeing me suspiciously with a wicked glint in his eye. But I wasn't the only one. He was looking beside me as Jasper reached out and plucked a sandwich off my tray. I locked eyes with Sue, wanting someone else to focus on to avoid staring at Jasper, but Sue only smirked at me and shook her head.

"Hi again, Bella," Jasper said, as if he wanted me to meet his eyes.

I involuntarily turn to him, meeting his gaze, my whole body cheering when I do. "Hi," I said meekly. God, Jasper was affecting in ways no one ever has. Not even Garrett.

"How's the day been?" he asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"It's been good so far," I replied. "Sue has been teaching a lot."

"Sounds good," his deep voice had me in a trance. I tuned everything out. All that mattered, all that existed in that moment, was Jasper's deep turquoise eyes as he stared down at me.

The butterflies were ever present, fluttering around in my stomach. It felt like I wanted to forget everything I told Sue. Every fear I had, momentarily flew out the window.

Jasper was about to say something to me, but her voice came instead as she called out to him. "Jazzy!"

Following the voice, I saw a petite woman making her way over to us. She was just as wealthy as he is. It wasn't a question you had to ask, you could see it written all over her. There was an air of snobbery about her that didn't sit well with me. I wanted to disappear out of this woman's presence.

She passed the ranch hands like they were no one or invisible on her way to Jasper.

Jasper cursed under his breath, and when I glanced up at him, his eyes were filled with fury. Peter rolled his eyes when I looked his way and whispered something to Sue. Then, they both looked at me.

"I agree," she replied out loud and then called me to come with her. "Come on, Bella, it's time to go."

"Go, Bella," Jasper said in agreement with Sue, though he never looked my way once. His furious gaze was on the ravened haired girl fast on her approach.

"Time to go, Bella," Sue said and I followed her. The girl swished passed us without a second glance, waltzing right up to Jasper, and planting a kiss on his lips.

I looked away then; a part of me disappointed that he was taken.

When we got back to the kitchen, I asked Sue the first question that popped in my head. "What's her name?"

"Alice, and she's Jasper's ex as of last night," Sue said with a sneer. The answer made my heart skip a beat, but I ignored it. _His ex. He was single. _

Stop it.

"You stay away from her, you hear?" Sue warned me. "If she needs anything, you let _me_ handle it. Okay?"

"Okay." I didn't know why Sue thought it was imperative to warn me about her, but I wouldn't be disobeying her order anytime soon. From what I'd seen so far, I wouldn't be going anywhere near Alice.

I hesitated a bit when Sue refilled the glass pitcher and told me to bring it out to the decorators. But Sue convinced me that I would be okay. So I went out there.

The house looked amazing and I couldn't wait to see what everything will look like once they are finished.

I served the iced tea, and by the time I was finished pouring, I had a half empty pitcher. After promising them that I'd get more, I walked off to the kitchen.

Sue was right. I had nothing to worry about. I hadn't dropped the glass pitcher.

With a sad sigh, I turned the corner and walked right into her.

It wasn't my fault. She was the one who came barreling into me. But the moment she opened her mouth, screeching at me, something happened. Something snapped inside me and I lost it.

It was as if the event was replaying in my head while she ranted. Everything moved in slow motion as I turned the corner and Alice came crashing into me; the remaining contents of the pitcher splashed on her dress and she knocked the pitcher out of my hand, causing it to smash against the tiled floor.

"You stupid bitch!" she shouted as she yanked me to her; her nails digging in the skin of my forearm. "Do you know how expensive this dress is?!" She was ferocious as she let me go and I staggered back in shock, falling to the floor and cutting my palms on the broken shards of glass.

I could hear my own heavy breaths in my ear. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest, and I felt like I was about to throw up.

Alice was supposed to be standing in front of me, chastising me for I had done, but all I could see was, James.

"Are you even listening to me, you idiot?" she screeched. I looked up at her, shaking as I tried to apologize. I stumbled over my words, trying to find my voice, but it wasn't fast enough for her or James. I wasn't sure. All I know was that James was going to be so mad at me. He was going to beat me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered out, rocking back and forth. There was pain coming from somewhere on my body, but I didn't know where.

"Shut up! Look at me, you buffoon," Alice or James sneered. "What am I going to do with this?" She pointed to her mildly soaked dress before she or James raised their hand to hit me and my breath caught.

_Here it comes. _

"You stupid…little…BITCH!" one or the other shouted before Jasper yelled.

"Alice!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next: Jasper, the savior.<strong>_


	9. Good For Nothing, Part Duex

**_AN: Jasper's take on things._**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter eight: Good For Nothing, Part Duex<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Jasper, December, 2010..<strong>_

I was in the kitchen when I heard it. The smash of a glass. Alice's screeching voice and knowing her, I knew this couldn't be good.

Sue and I exchanged horrified looks when we heard Alice yelling and then the word 'Bitch' forced me to race from the kitchen.

_Bella._

However, I wasn't prepared for the scene before when I entered the foyer. And what I saw, made me see red. I was mad as hell. Alice had gone too far.

Bella was on the ground, looking like a frightened kitten, and Alice was hovering over her, screaming and ready to hit her.

_What the fuck?_

"Alice!" I rushed over to them, stopping Alice's hand mid air before it could come down on Bella; who was cringing in the corner behind me. My heart was breaking but I had to deal with Alice first.

"Jasper," she screeched like she hadn't done anything wrong. "Can you believe this? Look at what she did!"

Bella was whimpering at the sound of Alice's voice, and I wanted to rip her apart. If it wasn't for the decency and respect my parents instilled in me from birth, I don't what I would have done. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"That little bit..." she started, wanting me to take her side, but I cut her off.

"Don't you dare call her that!" I yelled as Mom and Sue joined us.

"What the hell is going on?" Mom demanded.

"Alice had a little accident," I seethed, keeping my eyes on Alice while she rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Accident?" She turned to Mom and say. "That little tramp spilled that pitcher's content all over me!"

"No!" I shouted, causing all women to jump while I held Alice in a furious gaze. I was sick of her attitude. Was she always like this? Why didn't I see it?

I let go of her like it burned me and asked Mom to go get her checkbook. I ordered Sue to take Bella out of the room and I'd be with them in a minute after I talked to Alice.

As soon as everyone left the room, the decorators included, Alice started to act like we hadn't broken up. She was running her hand down the front of my shirt and giggling. "Oh come on, Jazz, really?"

"What the fuck are you doing?" What is she? Crazy or something? Is she bipolar? Wasn't she the one who was mad as hell a minute ago? Now she was being flirtatious?

My head was spinning, and I was deeply worried about Bella. But I wanted to know why Alice did this.

Mom came back, muttering in Spanish about what she wanted to do to Alice and handed a check for three thousand dollars before storming off.

But before Mom could get far enough, Alice spat. ''You did this, didn't you? You paid some slut to break us up. You fed your little whore lies about me and told her to do what she could to make me look bad, didn't you?!"

"You little tramp!" Mom shouted.

Mom was walking back to us, but I stopped her. "Go see about Bella!" Her furious gaze broke from Alice and she nodded and stomped off.

Alice started giggling like that shit was funny. "Hey!" She jumped at the sound of my fiery tone. "How dare you disrespect my mother. What the hell are you thinking?"

"But, Jazzy…" Alice whined.

"I don't want to hear it!"

Look at all the progress Bella had made today. And now this. Alice had fucked that up, but it was still my fault. I was the one who dated her.

"Someone is paying for this." Alice mumbled, moving away from me, looking down at her, barely soaked dress.

I handed her the check; which she took with a wide grin plastered on her face.

"What's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?" she chuckled.

"Why the hell are you like this?"

She stared at me; her eyes falling into slits. "You're fucking her, aren't you?"

When I asked her that question a while ago, I actually felt a little sympathetic and was genuinely being concerned as to why she was like this. This…selfish.

But Alice fucked it up when she asked me that. And not only did she ask that infuriating question, she went on, to talk trash about Bella. Which further pissed me off.

"What was that disaster?" she asked snidely while attempting to laugh, but the cold stare I threw at her, stopped her.

However, there was no end to Alice's madness. "How in the hell did your mother think _that_ could hold your attention?"

"Watch yourself, you're trying my patience and I want you out of here," I said to her. I wanted to help at first, but not anymore. This was over. "I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear from you. I told you the last time we spoke, that this…" I motioned between us. "…is done!"

She scoffed weakly, and stubbornly went on, "You are fucking her. You just won't admit it."

"Jesus Christ." I rolled my eyes. "Get out, Alice."

"Jazzy, you know you miss me," she said. "What is your problem? Is it because Rose is getting married?" Alice was fucking delusional. My sister's wedding had nothing to do with things ending between us. "I told you, we can get married but I'm not into the baby thing. I don't like them." The sneer on her face was enough to make me sick.

"Get…out." I didn't want to do this anymore. I had been away from Bella long enough. It was time to go help.

"Jazzy?" she whined.

"Get…OUT!"

I stormed off without another word, breezing pass Peter, Rose, and some of the guys, taking two steps at a time and ran to Bella's door.

I crashed into the room, only to see Mom and Sue outside the bathroom door.

"She won't come out and she locked herself in," Mom said.

I wasn't about to accept that. "Mom, go get my bag." She nodded and ran from the room. "Sue, get back."

Sue moved out of my way, and I kicked the door in. I walked in, the steam from the shower cutting off the visibility to the room, and I opened a window. I hoped it would work. I wanted the steam to get out of the room.

Bella was seated on the floor of the shower, rubbing her hands together.

Oh shit!

She was having a psychotic break. I made my way to her, opening the shower door, letting out more steam. Her small frame was rocking back and forth while she mumbled something about cleaning everything up before James got home.

It pained my heart to hear that. _Fucking Alice!_

She was irritating her wounds and I couldn't have that. She was making it worse.

"Bella?" I said softly, taking a step closer into the shower. Mom came into the bathroom while I turned off the water and took a seat next to Bella on the floor of the shower.

Mom showed me my bag and I nodded. Mom left the room. "Hey, Bella, why don't we get out of here? It's wet and I don't want you to catch a cold."

"No," she said shakily. "I can't go. I have to clean everything up before James gets back."

"James isn't here and I'm so sorry for what happened with Alice," I told her. I wanted her in the present. "It's my fault and I should've walked her out. I shouldn't have let her get the chance to hurt you."

She glanced at me through sad eyes. "It's my fault, Jasper," Bella said. "And James is going to be mad. He's going to kill me."

_What a fucking monster!_

"No, Bella, he can't hurt you anymore." It was a long shot but I had to try. I couldn't allow Bella to fall. I had to bring her back from the edge.

"What don't you let me look at your hands? I'm a doctor, remember?"

"You can't help me."

"How do you know that? Maybe I can."

"No," she said defiantly.

Bella's stare almost made me shiver from its intensity. "You can't fight James. No one wins James. I'm dead just by being here. I guess I should make the best of it. There's no coming back from this. He's going to kill me."

Bella needed to understand that I would never stand aside and let James hurt her.

"No, he won't," I said and Bella laughed manically, but I went on, "He can't hurt you anymore."

"No, Jasper, he can…with you," she grabbed my hand and pleaded. "Don't you see? You and your family have been so kind to me, it would hurt me if James hurt you."

She feared for us. "Bella, James can't hurt you or any of us."

"Why?"

"Because I won't let him," I said.

She looked at me, long and hard. "You're strong. You are nothing like before. You're different, Jasper. You're so strong."

"Well, since you believe that, let's get you out of here." I got up, placing my hands under her forearms and pulled her up with me.

Together, we walked out of the shower, leaving the bathroom behind. Sue handed me towels and I ran one through Bella's hair and threw another around her shoulders. I'd clean up after I help her.

Kneeling down in front of her, I held her gaze. "Bella, please, let me look at your hands."

She gave them to me and I could hear Mom and Sue collective sigh behind me. I took them and examined them carefully. She had splinters in them; embedded deep.

Bella would flinch and tremble as I fixed her hands up, but not in fear. She was in pain. "I'm sorry, Jasper," she said. "I didn't mean to. She just came barreling into me," Bella cried. "I'm so sorry."

"Bella, it's fine. It's all been taken care of." I didn't want her to worry about Alice. "Look…" I raised her newly bandaged hands to her. "All better."

"Thank you, Jasper." Her small voice was killing me and I couldn't find the strength to answer. I only nodded and left the room. Sue told me she would clean things up.

Mom followed me to my old bedroom, beside Bella's room, and Rose joined us.

"After the wedding, I don't want to see or hear Alice Brandon!" Mom seethed. "I love you, Jasper, but she sets one foot on this ranch and I won't be held accountable for what I'll do to her."

I ran the towel through my hair while answering, "I agree with you, Mom." I told her. "Once Rose's wedding is through or at least the planning, Alice will not be welcomed back here unless she can curb her unfortunate ways."

I think I made my mom speechless.

"Well," she stuttered. "That's good."

Rose and I laughed at her.

Rose reminded us about her dress and the chef flying in, then she went on to say that afterward, Alice would not be needed.

Rose hadn't initially intended for Alice to be a part of the planning for her nuptials to Emmett. Actually, she had only said 'yes' to Alice because I was dating her at the time.

But when Alice took over, she integrated herself in the wedding schedule, going as far as forcing Rose's hand until she made her a bridesmaid. Rose didn't like others trying to dominate her, but again, she kept quiet for me.

From here on out, Rose didn't need to worry about doing that again.

**~~abt~~**

The screaming started around four am. However, tonight, I couldn't blame Bella. After what she had been through today, I was astonished that she even fell asleep.

A blood hurling scream made me jump up, throw on a t-shirt, and race from my room.

Bella's door was unlocked again so I carefully turned the knob, but before I could open the door, Mom's voice startled me.

"I love you, Jasper Adam Whitlock, with all my heart, and I respect that you're a grown man. But if you have some weird tendency, I swear to God, I'll whoop your behind. Explain. Now." Her voice held that air of command to it that usually frightened most people and told you that she meant business. So I quickly told her about last night and how Bella's screaming woke me up.

"I figured that out from last night, but I was afraid to go in her room. Apparently though, you weren't," she said with an arched eyebrow and a smirk. "I saw you going in, you know?"

"Why didn't you come and help?"

"Because by the time you left, she was as quiet as a lamb," she countered as Bella screamed again. Mom looked saddened as she heaved a deep sigh. "Go. Help her, Son."

I smiled and nodded, opened the door, and walked in. Bella thrashed around, another scream leaving her as she arched off the bed.

I couldn't take this.

With a determined sigh, I approached the bed, shaking it and calling her name. "Bella, Bella, please wake up."

Nothing. She just continued to fight the covers.

"Bella, Bella…" I shook the bed again, this time a little harder, hoping that it worked this time. I could have touched her knee, but I wasn't sure what reaction I would get when she woke up and I wasn't about to risk it.

She let out yet another scream and shot up in bed. Her eyes popped open and she staring straight ahead. "Bella?" I said, wanting her to know she wasn't alone.

She looked at me, focusing on the sound of my voice as her deep chocolate eyes found mine. "Jasper?" she said in a panic tone, giving me her full attention. "Wha…what are you doing in here?"

"You were screaming," I said. "I was worried." It left good to admit that to her. But I had to beat down the feeling and strange inkling I was getting when it came to Bella.

I couldn't feel anything for her. Bella couldn't handle it.

At least, not right now.

"You heard?" she said worriedly.

"Yes," I replied. "Bad dream?" I didn't expect her to answer. I just wanted her to know that I was here for her if she needed my help.

"Yes," she whispered, glancing down at her hands.

She was playing with the hem of her tank top, but I wanted to know more. I wanted to know what made Bella tick.

_So much for backing off. _

This was just an observation.

_Yeah, right. _

I wanted Bella to elaborate, but I didn't want to push her. So I decide to offer up a lame joke.

"I get bad dreams sometimes too." I sat on the edge of the bed, not wanting to invade her space, but needing her to see that it was okay to be in a room with another man and not think that he was going to hurt her.

Her breath hitched from the move, but I pushed forward. This was a tiny step in the right direction and Bella has to see that.

So I folded my knee, and placed my elbow on it, making myself comfortable as I went on, "I wonder if it's anything like mine?"

"Was it horrible?"she asked, taking the bait.

"Terrifying." If only Bella knew how in sync we were when it came to the demons of our past. But that was for another time.

"What was it about?" she questioned, her interest peaking.

"Well, I was out in the field, and…" I sighed, wanting to add a little drama. "I don't know if I can talk about it."

"Please," she said, pleading with me to go on. I smiled internally. My little white lie was working perfectly. "Well, I was running…"

"Running?" she said. "From what?"

"Yep," Here it comes. "From a chicken."

Bella stared at me for a long while before a smile lit up her face and a loud scoff left her. She slapped her hand over her mouth as she tried to muffle her laughs. But it didn't help. It was good to see her smile and I couldn't help but laugh with her.

I went on, telling her that I found chickens terrifying and I was running around, screaming like a little girl.

When she couldn't fight it anymore, a loud guffaw broke from her mouth that could rival Emmett's.

"That was so lame," she said, shaking her head and smiling as our laughter died down.

"Yes, it was."

"Thanks for trying though and I'm sorry I woke you up." I didn't want her apology; I wanted her to be okay.

"It's fine," I said. "I'm glad you're okay."

I got up. "Good night, Bella."

I was walking away, wondering why my mind, body, and soul were screaming at me to stay when Bella called me back. "Jasper, can I ask you something?"

I turned to her. "Sure."

"You're always up at the crack of dawn, right?"

"Right."

She sighed and looked down, playing with the hem of her shirt again. "Was it you?"

"Your first night here?"She was smart. I liked that. I wouldn't have to beat around the bush with her.

"Yes, it was," I smiled at her in her dim lit room.

"Thank you," she said. "I should be freaked out by that, but oddly, I'm not. I'm grateful. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I should go." I nodded to the door, and then turned, and headed for it.

When my hand was on the knob, Bella spoke again. "Jasper?" This time her voice sounded so small.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Would you mind…"

She was afraid to say it, but I knew what she wanted and I wanted to hear her say it. If I were to allow myself to feel something for Bella Swan, then being as much as her friend would do.

"Could you please stay with me?" Bella asked, rocking back and forth. "I'm…I'm scared to be alone."

Letting go of the door, I walked back over to her. I climbed into bed, and she moved aside to give me room.

We stayed up, talking. We talked about everything that made us laugh. It wasn't the best time to delve into our respective life stories. It was the best time to relax, and try to forget. If it was only for a minute, we had to bury the horrors of our past and live in the now.

Bella left asleep with her head on my shoulder as the sun began to rise. And I had to smile, because not once, since I have been in the room, talked to her, sat with her, not once, has she flinched.


	10. Hi, I'm Bella

_**AN: The abusive violence from Bella's past is mentioned in this chapter. Jasper escorts Bella to Esme's office. He worries about his strong feelings for her, but Carlisle advices him. A little fun. **_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Nine: Hi, I'm Bella<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, December, 2010<strong>_

I knew why I was here. I needed this. I needed help.

I couldn't believe that Jasper had witnessed my breakdown and furthermore, that he was more than willing to drive me here today.

I was sitting in the reception area waiting on Dr. Cullen to call me into her office and I was a nervous wreck. It wasn't only at the prospect of opening up about my abusive past, but of what would happen afterwards. How will I move on and start anew? Could I handle things on my own?

I would have to try.

Jasper was sitting beside me, his leg bouncing in anticipation as we waited. I smiled at the move. He has been supportive all morning, but he didn't know the internal struggle I was going through, and I didn't want to burden him anymore than I already had.

He'd showed me so much compassion in the past twenty four hours.

When I messed up with Alice yesterday, he saved me. When I was lost in my mind, he brought me back. He took care of my hand and later that night, he assisted me after a particularly bad nightmare.

"Hello, Bella, it's wonderful to see you again," Esme said, bringing me out of my thoughts. I didn't even know she'd left her office.

"Hi," I said, quietly. "How are you?"

"I'm good," she smiled. "And you? How are you feeling this morning?"

"A little better."

"That's good," she said before turning to Jasper and greeting him.

"Bella, I have to speak with Jasper for just a moment, would you excuse me?"

"Certainly." Esme was one of the kindest women I have ever met. She had a mannerism I hadn't dealt with in a long while. She was treating me with respect, and it felt foreign.

But the Whitlocks and their family were determined to show me a world where this type of manner still existed so I better get used to it.

"She's a great doctor," Mrs. Cope said. "If anyone can help you, it's her."

I smiled. That was good to hear. "Thank you."

Mrs. Cope, as she had introduced herself when I got here this morning, was Esme's secretary. She was a kind elderly woman with a broad smile and a sweet personality. She worked here at Esme's Henderson office while another secretary took care of things at the Houston office, Jasper had explained.

He was amazing.

Esme came back, but Jasper didn't. She smiled and walked over to her office, opening it and gesturing for me to join her inside. And I did.

"Jasper has a shift at the hospital and he said to tell you that he will be back to pick you up when you're through," Esme said, taking a seat behind her desk while I stood on the opposite end.

"Okay."

She looked up at me. "Bella, you can have a seat wherever you feel comfortable."

"Thank you."

I looked around the office at the elegant décor and finding the white sofa so inviting. I moved to it, and took a seat. It was by the window and I loved that.

Esme grinned. "Good. Now, come on, let's get to know each other, shall we?"

"Yes," I whispered, giving her a small smile.

Esme didn't speak; she just sat back, surveying me. "This is a very nice office," I complimented her and she nodded.

My hands were shaking and Esme frowned, glancing down at them. "What's wrong, Bella?"

"Nothing," I breathed, trying to sound convincing but failing miserably.

"You're shaking, so I beg to differ," Esme challenged. "Perhaps, if you talk about it, you'll feel better."

"I'm not so sure." I felt like I wanted to talk but I didn't know how.

Ever since the incident with Alice yesterday, I have been jittery around everyone.

Rosalie merely said my name in an excited tone this morning and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I shook uncontrollably. And when I tried to run from the room, I ended up in Jasper's open arms.

I didn't flinch as he wrapped me in his arms while I began to cry. He held on to me until I felt safe enough to let go.

"I know about yesterday, Bella," Esme stated. She wasn't afraid to dig and she was showing me that even though some things would be hard to discuss, we had to push forward. "Would you like to talk about that?"

Looking at her relaxed expression made me feel serene. Esme reminded me of her big sister, Maria. They had so much in common; not only because of their close resemblance, but by Esme's actions. She was as beautiful and straightforward as Maria.

It made me want to trust Esme. Maria has been taking care of me since she helped me back at that gas station, and if Esme was anything like her sister, then I was in good hands.

Furthermore, I wanted to move on.

"When it happened, I didn't see Alice." It was a beginning. I had to start somewhere.

"Who did you see?"

"James."

"Your husband," Esme said.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because of the anger in Alice's voice and how she was blaming me for the iced tea spilling on her dress, when she was the one who ran into me."

"That must have hurt," Esme commented, looking down at my bandaged hands. Jasper had changed them this morning.

"Yes, it did."

"I'm sorry," I shrugged off her apology and she continued, "How did you learn that it wasn't James?"

I had to smile. "Jasper helped me to see that it wasn't."

"That's good…" Esme looked like she wanted to say something else.

"But? It isn't healthy to depend on him, right?"

"Right."

"How do I do it?"

She smiled at my question and got up. She moved from her desk and came to sit across from me in one of the powder blue chairs. "What would you like to do, Bella?"

"I want to close my eyes and not see James trying to kill me. I want to be able to have a good night's rest without a terrifying nightmare causing Jasper to coax me back to reality. I want to live. I want to love. I want to be all I had intended to be."

"By going back," she said simply.

"What if I don't want to?"

"Then you'll never truly move forward, Bella," Esme said. "Do you want to?"

"Yes. Desperately."

"Then, let's get started," she said with a smile that I returned.

**~~abt~~**

_**Jasper**_

I went to work in a daze. It was Saturday and since Emmett had to work in my place at the hospital last night, I was now here on the day shift. Carlisle met me at the emergency doors with a cup of coffee and we launched into a conversation surrounding nothing but Bella. I couldn't let her wait until Monday to see Esme so I asked my aunt to come into her Henderson office just for Bella's sake.

"We should talk," Carlisle said with a chuckle.

"We should," I repeated, following him up to his office.

I could confide in Uncle Carlisle. Anything I told him would stay between us unless I said otherwise.

"You feel something for that girl," he casually stated the moment we sat down in his office.

I wanted to lie, because it couldn't possible. Could it? I just met her a few days ago. How in the hell could I feel something for Bella so quickly?

When those thoughts became too much, I finally admitted it out loud. "Yes, but I don't understand it, Carlisle."

"What's there to understand? You feel something for Bella," he stated. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, but what could she feel for me?"

"Friendship, love and all of the above," he stated. "You'd never let _him_ hurt her again, would you?"Carlisle asked.

"Never," I growled.

"Good," he smiled. "Then let's see what happens between you two. Life is funny, Jasper. We never know where it's going to lead us. Mine led me to Esme. Dare I say yours is leading you to the frail girl from out of town?"

He smiled smugly and left me in his office. I hated when he did that shit. But it made me laugh anyways. Carlisle was so much like his little brother, Edward. More than he knew, because Edward would have told me the same damn thing.

But both of them would have been right. Bella was stirring up something inside me. Something intense. I hardly wanted to leave her at Esme's. I had a good mind to wait for her, but Esme sent me away. She didn't condone hovering. She said she wanted Bella to learn to stand on her own two feet.

I agreed, but it still hurt like hell to leave her.

Maybe work will help me. I had to keep it together until Bella's session was up.

_**Bella**_

"I loved my mother. And for a long time, I thought that she was the only person who truly cared about me," I said, lying there, staring up at the ceiling as I tried to make out the patterns that the rays from the sunlight streaming in the room was creating.

"What changed?"

"Everything."

"How do you mean?" Esme asked.

I wanted to answer, but couldn't. It was too much, too soon. I couldn't just sit here and tell her my life's story on the first day. I thought there would be other days here in session with Esme and I was looking forward to them, but telling her about my mother seemed like too much at the moment.

Noticing my hesitance, she thankfully said with a smile, "We'll discuss that another time."

I sighed in relief and she chuckled. I felt like I owed her an explanation and she apparently picked up on that. "You don't owe me an explanation, Bella," she said, taking the words right out of my mouth.

"I…I want to…bu…but I can't," I managed to get out.

"I understand," Esme smiled. "Bella, remember that these sessions are for as long as you want them to be. So if you don't feel like talking now, it's fine. I can wait. Would you like to stop here?" she asked. The care in her voice made more tears fall, and before I knew it, I was full blown crying.

_**Jasper**_

"Mrs. Calvin, please remember that lobster is not for you, Ma'am. Please, be careful with your allergies," I warned Mrs. Calvin after treating her. I gave her son her prescription, while Mrs. Calvin invited me to church. She told me that there were a lot of eligible young women in there for a young, handsome, single doctor like me to meet.

I smiled and politely thanked her for inviting me.

After leaving the exam room, I found Carlisle and told him to cover for me, I was heading for lunch.

That was partly true.

I was hungry and I hadn't taken a break since I got here this morning, but mostly, I wanted to check up on Bella. After picking up enough lunch for myself, Carlisle, Bella, Mrs. Cope and Esme, I went to Auntie's office.

Mrs. Cope smiled as I walked in, teasing me about checking up on my little friend. She winked as she said that and I ducked my head and blushed. She was right. I was here for my friend.

I offered Mrs. Cope her lunch and she thanked me as Esme's office door opened. But when I saw a crying Bella walk out, I nearly lost it.

Esme shot me a glare before I could say anything as she hugged Bella and then said when they parted, "So, day one."

Bella smiled back. "Day one."

She turned to me and gave me a watery smile. "Hi, Jasper."

"Hey."

I gave Aunt Esme her lunch and thanked her for seeing Bella. She winked at me over Bella's head. "You're more than welcome and please remember what I said." Another glare and I internally rolled my eyes. I knew what she wanted. Aunt Esme had warned me off before I left for work this morning.

Let Bella heal. Don't offer help unless Bella asks. Don't goddamn hover!

But would I heed those warnings?

Fuck no.

After she and Bella set up their next appointment, I escorted Bella out to my truck; opening her door for her and helping her in to my truck, and then jogging around to my side and hopping in.

Bella had a small smile on her face and looked like she wanted to say something. "What?" I asked with a light chuckle, reaching for the lunch bag and pulling out a sandwich, offering it to her, then taking one out for myself.

She took it, fiddling with the wrapper and not meeting my eyes as she said, "This is a big truck."

I laughed at her statement while trying to think of the right thing to say about my Ford F150 pick-up. "I love these types of trucks," I replied after a while. "They work for me. I can use them for work on the ranch and to get to town. They handle heavy loads real well."

"Oh," she whispered before taking a small bite of her food.

"You don't like big trucks?"

She looked terrified for a minute before she started stumbling over her words to explain that she liked my truck and then apologizing if she'd said anything wrong. She sounded so damn near an emotional breakdown and I hated that. I liked the girl that wanted to learn things, but I'd help the one that was afraid.

"It's okay, Bella. I want to hear your opinion."

"Really?" She was looking at me like I had grown two heads.

"Yeah," I laughed. "Bella, I'd love to hear what you're thinking."

She let out a sigh I didn't know she was holding. "Thank you…for everything."

"You're welcome," I smiled and watched her take a small bite of her sandwich.

I started the truck after biting into my own sandwich and drove off. "So…?"

"Yeah," she said, reaching for her drink.

"I've got to head back to the hospital and I've got a problem."

"What kind of problem?" I was hoping like hell Bella would go along with this. If I could get Carlisle to cover for me and I could get out of there a little early.

"I didn't want to take you home just yet," I said. "I kinda wanted us to hang today."

"Why?" she asked, like it was a foreign thing for someone to want to spend time with her. Bella was beautiful and smart. Who wouldn't want to spend time with her?

"Because my house is empty; or should I say, my fridge is empty." She actually chuckled. That was good. I was hoping that would work. I thought that if I went about it in a professional manner – since she would be working from my house – it would make Bella feel more comfortable.

And it worked. "Sure, I'll stay," she said, biting into her food, making me do an internal cheer that she was eating. The sooner I got her to a healthy weight, the better.

"That's good," I replied, shutting up for the rest of drive to the hospital while taking comfort that Bella enjoyed the silence as much as I did.

There, of course, was another reason why I wanted her to stay at the hospital until I was ready to leave. I didn't want to part with her just yet. Something inside of me was screaming for me to take this girl in my arms and never let go.

We arrived at the hospital and I brought her to Carlisle's office to finish our lunch. We casually chatted and I learned about Bella's ambition for the culinary arts. She had such a passion for it. It was great, watching her open up about something she loved.

"You can do just about anything with food, can't you?" I asked, throwing away our trash.

"I just love cooking so much, Jasper," she said, running a hand through her luxurious hair; filling the office with her delicious scent. "When I cook, I'm out of here. I get lost in what I'm creating and it makes me happy."

"That's good, because I'm always happy when I'm eating." I teased her. "So, whenever you need a taster, you know who to ask." She laughed at my offer.

"That's good to know."

Carlisle came in and I gave him his lunch. He thanked me and got to talking with Bella. He wanted to know how she has been since her visit to the hospital and Bella answered every question he had with conviction and mirth.

It was wonderful to hear her laugh. I didn't want her to stop.

Carlisle and I left Bella a little while after that. Carlisle told her she could play a couple of online games to occupy her time or read one of his many books until I was ready to leave.

She agreed.

But heading back on the floor with Carlisle was hard. I didn't want to leave her. I wanted to stay and talk to her some more. Bella was such an interesting girl. So sweet and smart.

"You'll be back with her before you know it," Carlisle said as we walked out of the trauma room. We'd just handled an emergency and as soon as I was finished, all I could think about was Bella and wanting to go to her.

"I don't know what the fuck is happening to me," I expressed. "She just got into town and I feel like I've known her forever."

"You're falling, Jasper," Carlisle said. "That's the best explanation I can give you. You're falling for her. But…"

"I know," I cut him off, saying. "Aunt Esme warned me. I've got to be careful with Bella."

"But don't deny your feelings in the process, Jasper," Carlisle said. "It'll eat you up inside."

I nodded and we got back to work.

Work ended later than I would have hoped, but Bella was a trooper. When I went to get her from Carlisle's office, she was so engrossed in her game that she didn't even see me.

"Having fun?"

She jumped a little and giggled. "Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you come in."

"It's fine. I came to pick you up."

"You're finished?"

"Yeah, sorry I took so long."

"It's fine. You have to help others, Jasper." She passed me with a smile and didn't flinch when our bodies brushed up against each other.

I was speechless and silently followed her out to the parking lot after we found Carlisle so she could tell goodbye. She was in such high spirits.

At my truck, Bella got in on her own after I unlocked it. Hmm, independent, I liked that!

I started the engine, and turned to her. "So, where to?"

"Well, you need food and I need supplies," Bella said, tapping a finger against her chin while her eyes are on me. I was supposed to be figuring something out here.

Then as if a light bulb went off in my head, "Okay," I chuckled and shook my head. "Let's go to the store."

Bella laughed as I drove off.

The drive to the supermarket didn't take too long. It was one of the things I loved about Henderson. Everything was within my reach.

But when we got out of the truck, Bella looked up at the megamart nervously. "What's wrong?"

She was staring straight ahead. "It's just…I guess I'm a little nervous. I knew how to get in and out of the store back in Cali, but I won't know anything here. I'm really starting over."

"So you're nervous and excited?" I prompted.

"Yeah!" She laughed, the nervous energy gone. "It's amazing. I'm really starting over."

"Yes," I whispered and Bella met my eyes, trapping me in her hypnotic orbs. "You really are."

Bella stared at me for what feels like forever, before she finally broke the spell we were under and walked off with me not far behind.

We entered the store and I went to grab a shopping cart, bringing it back to her. "Alright, darlin'…" Bella laughed at the sentiment, although I meant it; more than she knew. "Let's have fun."

"I'll point them out and you'll pick them up," she instructed.

"Got it, Ma'am." She laughed again and walked off.

All through our shopping adventure, I was a pain. I was determined to be a troublemaker and Bella was my unfortunate victim. But she handled me well. She didn't put up with my crap and when I got out of hand, she actually disciplined me. It was great to see!

"Jasper, put that back," she warned when I picked up the Febreze Air Effect and sprayed it on her. "Jasper, quit." I sprayed it on myself making her laugh some more. I loved that sound.

"I like this," I said, throwing the item in the cart and Bella pointed at the Odor Eliminator also. "You know, I wasn't really paying attention when Sue would use these."

"All you knew was that the house smelt nice," Bella said.

"Yeah!"

We went on to the detergents and then food. By the time we were at the cashier, I had a shopping cart full of food and supplies.

I could see the cashier eyeing me, fluttering her eyelashes at me as Bella unloaded the cart. But I had no eye for the girl at the register. I only saw and wanted Bella.

After paying for everything, I lugged it out to my truck, and loaded it up.

An older couple, walking by, stopped and greeted us. "It's really nice of you to help your wife," The elderly woman said.

Bella look mortified and while it pained a part of me that she did, I understood why. She had been through so much.

"Why, thank you Ma'am," I quickly said to the elderly woman as she smiled sweetly at us. "I try to help when I can."

She looked at Bella as her husband smiled on. "Listen here, girl, don't let that one go."

Bella surprisingly nodded. "I won't."

Just hearing her say that, even though she was being nice to the elderly couple, gave me a glimmer of hope.

Maybe. One day.

On the drive home, I reassured Bella that the couple must be from out of town because everyone probably knew I was single again by now.

She nodded, smiled and then shrugged. "Just an honest mistake."

"Yes, it was." But did I want it to be?

For now, yes, but if there could be a future with Bella sticking around, then no. I wanted Bella Swan.

We went straight to my house when we got to the ranch. I drove into the garage and we got out and then I started to flip on the lights. After lighting our path, I went back to the truck, unloading it.

Bella helped.

"You don't have to," I tried, carrying three bags to the kitchen.

"No, I don't," she countered. "But I want to." I smiled and went to get the rest.

Together, we packed everything away while I joked around making her laugh until a yawn left her.

"Whoa, someone is tired."

"Yeah," Bella sighed. "I guess so. I better head over to the main house."

It saddened me that she has to go. A part of me wanted her to stay over at my home with me. But I didn't want to scare Bella by voicing that idea.

"Why don't you take a seat?" I told her, pointing at one of the stools at the kitchen island. "I'll just pack these away and I'll be back to walk you over there."

"It's okay," she smiled. Oh, if only she knew that I wanted to follow her everywhere she went. Bella was doing to things to me that no woman had ever done. I felt so close to her, and it was scary at times. What will I do if she was unable to return these growing feelings?

"No, I insist," I countered, leaving that thought for another time. "Just gimme a minute and I'll walk you over."

She yawned again and softly giggled, moving to the island and taking a seat. "Okay then. I'll wait."

I dashed to the laundry room, and stacked the shelves with the laundry supplies. I practically ran from the room, coming to a stop on my approach to the kitchen. I took a deep breath, relaxing myself, and entered the kitchen only to smile at what I saw.

Bella was fast asleep.

I don't know how long I stood there, until a tiresome yawn left me too. We could head over to the main house when we woke up. I was light sleeper. It will just be a nap for me.

I lifted her up, reveling in how good she felt in my arms and carried her upstairs to the guest bedroom closest to my room. I whispered 'good night' and left her there.

Another yawn left me as I trot to my room. Walking in, I pulled my scrub over my head, and threw myself down on my bed, face first.

"_I'm just closing my eyes for a moment," _I thought, and as I dozed off, all I could think about was, Bella's smile.


	11. Will You Be My Friend?

_**AN: Bella wakes up at Jasper's. She walks in on him fast asleep and admires him. Can he be more than friend? Bella is afraid of what may happen.**_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Ten: Will You Be My Friend?<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, December, 2010<strong>_

I woke up in a strange bed. It was comfortable and while I didn't want to leave, I had to. I must have fallen asleep at the kitchen island, and Jasper brought me upstairs, but I had to go.

I crawled out of the comfy bed and made my way to the door. The hallway was dimly lit, but it wasn't eerie. It was peaceful. I always felt uncomfortable in James' house from the first moment I set foot in it. But not Jasper's. I felt oddly 'at home' here.

Maybe it was him. Maybe it was Jasper that caused that feeling. He was a great person. Who wouldn't want to be around him?

Jasper's bedroom door was ajar, and I know I shouldn't do it, but I move to it either way. Something in me was just so curious about him. My rational side was telling me that it was okay, he was probably awake and I would just be letting him know that I was heading over to the main house now.

But my crazy side was laughing her ass and hoping that he was just getting out of the shower.

I had to get these reawakened feelings and desires under control.

There was light coming from inside his room and I nervously knocked. "Jasper?"

No answer.

"Jasper?"

Still no answer.

I stood there a little playing a game of 'should I? shouldn't I?' before I bravely pushed the door open.

I know I should have just written him a note and gone over to the main house by myself because Maria must been wondering where the hell I was, but I wanted to see him. So I told myself, maybe Jasper called her while I was waiting for him at the hospital.

I loved spending time with Jasper today. He was so much fun. He was like a kid in a candy store at the supermarket; such a prankster. "_I wonder if I can ask him to go with me again, or at least until I know my way around?" _

I shook that thought clear and focused on Jasper's sleeping form on his bed; his tattooed back rising and falling with each breath he took as he lightly snored. He looked so adorable. I loved his tattoos. I have always wanted to get one, but…

No! I wouldn't do it. I won't think about my past right now. I had other days for thoughts of James to torment me. I was happy today and I plan on spending the rest of my night that way.

Jasper's muscular, tatted back was providing me with enough distraction to put James in the back of my mind. A breathy sigh left me as I surveyed the medical symbol in-between his shoulder blades in fascination before I spotted the end of another tattoo on his left shoulder.

Moving around to the other side of the bed, lost in my admiration, I saw that it was a tattoo of a tiger on his shoulder.

My rational side pleaded with to leave the room, but my crazy side was whispering for me to stay. Maybe wait until he woke up and then ask him about his tattoos.

_What the hell was I thinking?! Wait? In his room? _

However, madness overpowered rationality, and I continued to stare at his body art.

I used to fear getting one, but not anymore. Especially with all I have been through, I want something to symbolize my survival.

Maybe Jasper could give me his advice on the subject. There was a side of me that just trusted him. I felt like I have known him forever.

I was so lost in thought, I froze on the spot when Jasper turned over. But thankfully, he didn't wake up.

I really should go, but the sight of his chiseled abs had me so enamored, I couldn't will my feet to work.

This man wasn't born. He was sculpted.

Jasper was one of the most desirable beings I had ever seen. Standing there, looking at him, I had the strongest urge to just climb into bed and lie down beside him. I had to fight myself to stay planted in my spot, and not let my crazy thoughts get the best of me.

I had to admit though, Jasper was one fine specimen. I wasn't dead, and I know a handsome man when I see one. But Jasper Whitlock was beyond that.

He was the epitome of what handsome should be. Fuck, he broke the mold when it came to it. Even a woman with limited experience as myself, could admit that the sight of this man did things to me.

He was irresistible. And that body coupled with his devilish smirk was a killer. He was positively hypnotic.

Jasper stirred and I gasped, frightened of the fact that he was about to wake up and see me standing over him like a stalker.

It got worse.

Before I could move, he yawned and stretched causing his abs to flex with his movements and I swore something deep inside me moved. _Damn, him and his perfection._ And before my rationality could kick in and propel me to run from the room, he opened his eyes and they immediately found mine.

"Bella?" he said, his voice groggy and filled with sleep as his drowsy eyes took me in standing there like a freak.

"Umm…I-I woke up and I…" He sat up while I stumbled over my words, trying to find the right thing to say. He held his hand up and stopped my ramblings.

I shut up. "You woke up and found that you were in a strange bed and you want to go over to the main house now?"

Wow! He took the words right out of my mouth. "Yes."

Jasper smirked and my stomach flipped. "Okay, let me get a shirt on."

"Alright!' I ran from the room.

I waited for him outside his room. "Hey," he said, stepping out of his room and wiping the sleep from his eyes while I sneered at his shirt when he wasn't looking. I hated the offensive material for covering the glory that was Jasper's abs and broad shoulders.

"Hey," I croaked, and cleared my throat. He smiled, probably thinking I was hoarse from just waking up, but I knew it was from thinking about other parts of his body that I shouldn't be thinking about; or wondering if they were as impressive as his upper torso.

We climbed down the stairs together and headed out the door into the cool night air. A slight shiver went through me and Jasper asked if I was cold.

"Are you okay?" He was so concerned. It was sweet.

"I'll be fine."

"I can lend you a jacket."

I smiled. "Thanks, but let's just head over to the main house. Maria must be wondering where I am."

He looked a little worried. "Shit."

"What?" I asked.

Jasper chuckled but it sounded shaky, like he was nervous. "She must be worried like hell because I didn't call her."

"What?" I said incredulously. "I thought you did."

"The day got away from me."

"It'll be okay," I was telling him that like he was the one who would get in trouble. I was the one working here, not Jasper.

"I'm sure it will."

"So, are you hungry?"

"This late, Ms. Swan?" he said in amazement. We had slept a long time. It was pretty late. But Jasper somehow sensed that I was worried and wanted to ease my mind. "You're not in any trouble, Bella. Mom will be cool about it. It's a weekend and she probably called Aunt Esme already to know when you left so she knows you're with me."

"That's good to know," I sighed, and then Jasper threw my question back at me.

"Are _you_ hungry?"

His smile made me feel so free, so confident. "I don't know. Depends on what you're offering."

Jasper's mouth hung open and I wanted to be nervous that I just spoke to him like that, but I couldn't. I liked it.

I also loved that Jasper just rolled with it. "I am excellent at cooking," I laughed and he shot me a look that made me laugh even harder, but he went on, "So it would have to be between filet mignon or beef tartar?" he boasted with a wide grin.

I laughed some more at his silliness and told him no thanks.

"You're denying yourself the work of a true chef, woman," he said as we stepped up to the entryway and Jasper opened one of the double glass doors for me and I entered the kitchen.

"Nope, I'm surviving the work of an amateur." My confidence was out to play.

Jasper held his hand over his heart in mock horror as he walked in too. "Are you mocking me, my dear?"

"No. Why would I?" I said sarcastically, "I'm sure you are an excellent chef."

"It's good to be recognized for my skills," he said, making me scoff.

"Yeah, at ham and cheese sandwiches," Maria scoffed this time at my answer, making me jump and laugh at myself.

"Evening, Bella," she said with a smile, walking pass me, heading to her son, who she smacked on the shoulder. "Where were you two?"

"Ow!" he yelled, laughing. "That's child abuse."

She rolled her eyes at him and went on, "I was so worried. Jasper, I thought you two would be home sooner." You could hear the motherly tone in her voice like she wanted to scold him, but mostly, she was glad he was okay. And it warmed my heart that she had included me as well.

"Sorry," Jasper said as we all took a sit at the kitchen table. "But this one was having so much fun, we lost track of time."

"I didn't!" I laughed.

"Did too," Jasper countered with a smirk.

"It was him," I turned to Maria and said.

"Alright! It was," Jasper confessed. "But Mama, between work and then a trip to the supermarket, I realized something."

"What?" Maria asked.

"Sue really buys a lot of things," Jasper said, and I giggled. "Watching Bella today, taught me about half the things she buys."

"They're dealing with you," Maria countered with a grin. "They'll need a lot of things."

"Ha Ha," he mumbled, making me chuckle loudly and he winked at me. "Anyways, we got back and after unpack the groceries, we got tired. Bella fell asleep, first and I was only going to lie down for a second." I couldn't help but notice he didn't mention that I was standing over him when he woke up.

"Well, it sounds like a helluva day and you two had every right to be worn out," she said. "So Sue left some food for you two and…" she didn't get to finish before Jasper was out of his seat and over by the fridge rummaging through it, and yelling "Yes!" when he found the containers with our names on it. He popped his in the microwave immediately and Maria started laughing.

She turned to me, still lost in mirth, and said, "You'll have to excuse my son's exuberance for food, Bella. I swear, his daddy dropped him on his head as a child."

"It's fine," I smiled.

Her eyes softened as she eyed me. "So, did everything go okay? Esme didn't pressure you too much, did she?"

"No, she didn't. It was fine," I told her. "We have another session coming up soon."

"That's great," she commented happily.

"Sue made one of my favorites," Jasper said as he made his way over to the table and placed a newly heated container in front of me with fried chicken, mashed potatoes and greens.

"He has a thing for fried chicken," Maria explained, shaking her head as she got up. "Well, I'm sleepy; it's been a long day so I'll see the both of you in the morning, good night."

"Night." Jasper and I answered simultaneously. She smiled and shook her head again, leaving the kitchen.

Jasper was a riot while we ate. He was very playful as he tried to unsuccessfully, more than once, to steal food off my plate until I was laughing through the rest of my meal.

We washed out our containers and then Jasper escorted me upstairs to my room. We laughed and talked the whole way to the door.

I stopped in front of it, reluctant to open it, not wanting to leave Jasper behind just yet. "You have tattoos." I slapped my hand over my mouth and my eyes went wide, but he just laughed; the easy sound of it making me feel as carefree as it sounded.

"How long were you standing there?" he inquired. I was wondering when he would ask. He hadn't addressed the fact that he woke up and saw me standing over him.

"Not long, but I guess I became so fascinated with them, I couldn't move." _Along with your body. _

"Well, I love them. Might do more, may not," he said. "They just mean something to me."

"What do they mean?"

"The one on my back was done when I graduated med school."

"And the one on your shoulder?"

"The tiger was when I was eighteen," he said. "Tigers are one of my favorite animals. My dad and I got the same tattoo. It was done for my eighteenth birthday."

He looked misty eyed when he spoke of his father. Mr. Whitlock was very much loved around here.

"That's cool," I commented, leaving any questions about his dad for another time.

"What kind of tattoo do you want?" I loved how he said that. What tattoo _do_ I want? I felt hopeful just hearing him saying that.

"Something symbolic, or just something fun. I don't know yet," I smiled.

"Alright then," he said, returning my smile. "Well, let me know when you're ready."

_He wanted to help? _"Really?" I said excitedly.

"Really," he chuckled. "I'll be glad to help."

We stood there for ages. Jasper looked like he didn't want to leave, and I definitely didn't want him to go. His piercing blue eyes made my knees wobble under their intense gaze. The air was sizzling between us, and I didn't know if Jasper could feel it, but I did.

There was something there. So powerful. How long could I resist it? Staring into Jasper's eyes, I could see him struggling as well, and he was the first to break the silence. "Well then, good night, Bella."

He started to move away, and my heart wept. "A-a-are y-you heading back over to your place?" I stammered.

"Yes," he chuckled. "But I'll see you tomorrow, Bella."

Again, that hope, and a promise. I smiled, "I'll see you tomorrow, Jasper. Thank you for today. I had fun."

He gave me a beautiful smile, making my heart flutter, and then he said in a nervous tone, "I was hoping I didn't scare out of wanting to go shopping with me again."

"No, in fact, you can come along any time you want." I was glad he wanted to do it again without me asking. In fact, he was worried he had scared me off. He couldn't, I loved spending time with him. So very much.

"Thanks, Bella," he beamed. "Good night."

Jasper walked off with a broad smile and I whispered, "Good night," as he walked away.


	12. Christmas with the Whitlocks

_**AN: Bella spends Christmas with the Whitlocks. She learns that it's Jasper's birthday and has a sad moment at breakfast.**_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Eleven: Christmas with the Whitlocks<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, December, 2010...<strong>_

I wish there could be more mornings like this. I wish it was Christmas all year round.

I loved everything about Christmas. It was a great time for families to come together and celebrate, and from what I've learned, no one knew that better than the Whitlock's and Cortez's.

Sue was right when she wanted us to take care of the rooms upstairs as well as over at Jasper's, because the rest of the family was flying in or driving down to spend Christmas and New Years on the ranch. Some would be over here and others would be staying with Jasper, like Peter and a cousin, Tanya.

It baffled me that everyone actually wanted to stay together for the holidays. I had never experienced anything like it before. And I was so excited to.

The first to arrive were Carlisle and Esme because they lived close. After them, it was Maria and Esme's big sister, Carmen. She was accompanied by her husband, Eleazar, and their daughter, Tanya; who was married to Paul, an attorney who worked on the Whitlock legal team.

They were so powerful that they had an entire legal team at their disposal. Holy Shit!

Sue filled me in about everyone as they made their entrance. She warned me that Tanya was Jasper's favorite cousin and she treated him like a brother so I should watch out for the pranks they _might_ pull on each other. Tanya was very nice to me when we met. She was very sweet, but had a little snarkiness to her that I actually liked.

After Tanya and her parents, which concluded the Cortez's, seeing as the both families' heads – the Cortez's parents and the Whitlock's parents – have already passed on, then came, the Whitlocks.

There was Uncle Liam and his wife, Diane along with their son, Benjamin and his wife, Angela and their six month old baby boy, Brandon. Brandon was the sweetest little thing and I even got a chance to hold him while Benjamin and Angela got settled.

After that, there were Peter's parents, Joshua and Lizzy, along with Peter's little sisters, Jane and Heidi, who were twins, and both models. Sue took care of them, quickly showing them to their rooms after they greeted us.

I couldn't be happier to be a part of this celebration. I always wanted a big family, and this was a great glimpse of what that could look like.

By Christmas morning, things had gotten pretty hectic, but with Sue's guidance, I handle it well. There were no more incidents like with Alice, and I was happy about that. But I suppose it wouldn't happen because no one here was as mean as she had been.

The family welcomed me with open arms. I even overheard Maria explaining to her big sister and Peter's parents about how we met and they congratulated her for helping me.

It brought me to tears to hear the care in their voices.

Christmas day now held an even more important significance to me after Sue told me it was Jasper's birthday.

"His birthday is on Christmas?" I whispered to her as we set up the dining room, buffet style.

"Yep, he's a special boy," Sue said, while putting the finishing touches on the dishes we had prepared.

Sue gave me free reign over breakfast, stating that she had created so many and it was great to get a break, especially since her daughter, Char, had arrived this morning.

Char was one of the nicest persons I had ever met. She was so kind to me when we met, I felt like I had known her for years. She was extremely beautiful with glowing blond hair, that Sue said, came from her daddy, God rest his soul.

"Wow," I said as I took a step back to look at our work.

Sue didn't answer and when I looked at her, she was smirking at me. "What?"

"Nothing," she said in a teasing tone. "Have you given any thought to letting a friendship build between you and Jasper?"

I smiled and ducked my head, blushing. "I'll take that as a yes," Sue laughed. "He can be a great friend, Bella."

"He has been." I did see Jasper the next morning like he had promised the night after we fell asleep over at his house. And in the day while working over at his house, he called me and we spent most of his lunch hour on the phone, chatting. It was strangely familiar to me how much Jasper and Garrett had in common. They both knew how to make me smile; to forget my problems and just be happy, even if it was just for a short time.

Jasper and I had dinner that day too, when he got home. Everyone had oddly disappeared leaving only me and Jasper to eat dinner, but we didn't mind and had a great chat. He wanted to know about college and I found out that he was a bit of a wild child in college, while he was a geek in high school.

I teased him about it, and he teased me about ballet.

Jasper walked into the dining room, distracting me with his striking eyes. I was lost in his gaze and Sue's chuckle brought me back. "You've got it bad."

I didn't get a chance to answer her when everybody filed into the dining room and shouted 'Happy Birthday!' to Jasper.

They helped themselves to breakfast and Jasper pulled me to sit down beside him after sharing a plate for me. Again, the similarities between him and Garrett were on the forefront of my mind.

I don't know why Garrett was invading my thoughts today, but I missed him so much. I have been thinking about him a lot, recently, and I couldn't get over how his death was my fault.

"This is great, Bella," Jasper said, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Oh," I said, and Jasper knitted his brows.

"What's wrong?" He was so concerned.

"Nothing," I tried to sound happy and even faked a smile, but I knew I had failed miserably when I looked into his worried eyes. However, I went on, "Sue gave me full reign and I thought that Warm Chocolate Eggnog with the usual coffee and Sweet Potato Pancakes with sausage and bacon would be great."

Jasper smiled, "And for the omelets lovers, French Omelets along with enough waffles to hold Peter over until lunchtime."

I genuinely laughed this time, because Peter did have a big appetite. "Exactly." Peter was currently packing his plate with food while Char laughed at him.

"But it doesn't explain what's wrong and why you looked so sad a while ago." Jasper could be very persistent. He always wanted to get to the bottom of something.

"No," I said sadly, remembering Garrett's smiling face. "It doesn't, but I should be happy." I was desperately trying to switch the subject.

Jasper wasn't buying it yet. I was learning to read him. And his eyes were saying he wasn't through with questioning me. "Why?" he smiled, hoping to ease me into talking.

"Because not only is it Christmas and I love this season, but it's also your birthday, so Happy Birthday."

"Thanks so lot, darlin'," Jasper drawled, almost making me swoon amidst my sadness. "But I'm not going to be completely happy until you tell me what's wrong."

"What are you, Scooby-doo?" Jasper laughed. He had told me that he loved that fiery, sarcastic side of me, and I loved it too; because of him.

"Maybe, but…" He started.

His persistent was killing me, because again, it was another trait that he and Garrett shared. My eyes watered, and the tears spilled over as I looked into Jasper's understanding ones. "The friend I told you about, Garrett," Jasper nodded, "he used to love Christmas too, and I don't know how much you know about James but I blame myself for Garrett's death because…"

"It wasn't your fault, Bella," Jasper said, thoughtfully, rubbing my back as I started to cry.

A barge of concern began to hit me from the family as everyone wanted to know what was wrong with me. 'What's wrong?' What happened?' could be heard and Jasper was doing his best to explain that I had lost someone I really cared about. Then their condolences made me cry even harder. I was pulled up out of my chair and into someone's arms and I held on and cried hard. It was only when I let go, I realized that it was Jasper.

"Thank you," I whispered hoarsely.

"I'm here for you, Bella." The care in his voice touched my heart.

After I calmed down, the conversation slowly drifted to my talent in the kitchen and I was complimented for my creations. Rosalie and Maria thought that having my own catering business would be a great thing for me, and Sue joked that she would spend her time ordering their dinners from me.

We all laughed.

When breakfast ended, Jasper and Peter helped us clear the tables and then helped us with the dishes. Peter and Jasper hardly left my side, and I wasn't the least bit nervous or scared of their presence.

I was slowly healing and learning that when it came to Jasper and his family, I had nothing to fear.

Sue and I got the turkeys in the ovens while she told me about the many charities the Whitlocks give to, including the one they will be sending food to tomorrow.

They were so generous. So different from James. He hated charity. He thought that it was unnecessary. _That selfish prick!_

After preparing some of the sides for dinner, I retired over to Jasper's home to finish up the two loads of laundry I had left to do. There would be no dirty clothes on Christmas.

Sue and I spent our time talking through the intercom as I taught her a new way to do one of her favorite dishes. She thanked me and said she was making lunch, because Peter was hungry. I had to laugh. I don't know where Peter stored the food he ate. He ate like he had three stomachs, and yet, he was as well built as Jasper. It was shocking!

Peter has been a bit of a surprise for me. He was growing on me almost as much as Jasper was, but in a different way.

Peter reminded me of my stepbrother, Micah, but with a far more crude humor. Peter was so friendly and kindhearted, but that came with a very dirty mouth. He was also sarcastic, and everything he said had a double innuendo.

Emmett has been another wonderful person. He was always checking up on me, and making sure that Jasper was being nice, he would say. He was coming over for Christmas dinner later on. He has been spending the day with his family, the McCarty's.

Edward was the only friend I hadn't met yet. He was Carlisle's little brother and a lawyer. He would be moving down to Texas according to Sue next year, but she didn't know why because Edward loved his hometown of Chicago. But Sue chucked it off as them watching Jasper and loving that he was through with Alice. Sue said his friends hated how Alice had treated Jasper.

Jasper.

With every piece of his clothing that I threw in the wash, I couldn't stop thinking about him. His scent permeated the air and my body tingled just from taking it in. We had parted ways after we walked over to his house together this morning, and something in me missed him. I had to learn to control myself about this. Or talk to Esme about it.

Our sessions have been going good. She was taking her time with me.

I started the washing machine and turned up the radio a bit, rocking to the carols playing on it.

My mind drifted to Jasper again. I don't think Jasper knew the effect he had on women. How we melted when he smiled or gave us that sly smirk that made our stomachs twist in delicious knots. He saw himself as the same geeky kid from high school, that Sue actually claimed he really was, and didn't understand why women found him appealing.

But he was. And I shouldn't be thinking about him like that.

The washing machine stopped and I unloaded it, filling the dryer. I moved to the next load, but before starting it, I wanted to go in search of more dirty things. Jasper had to have a dirty towel or something lying around.

I started with his bedroom first and found some dirty socks and scrubs. I threw them in my basket and then headed downstairs. The gym was next.

In there, there were dirty towels, hanging off the bar of the treadmill. Jasper worked out a lot. He said hitting his punching bag or running on his treadmill helped him think.

The sauna was next, and it looked like it had been in use. There was steam coming from under the door.

"Jasper?" I called out.

"Jasper?" I tried again. But with no answer, I opened the door and walked in.

There was so much steam; I couldn't see a damn thing. I felt my way to a bench and successfully found two more towels. But when I turned to leave, I ran smack into something hard. I felt it up and heard a chuckle.

A chuckle I knew. I have been hearing it enough.

"Bella?" he said, and I froze before yanking my hand away as if it burned.

"Oh shit, I'm so fucking sorry."

Fuck! I cursed at him.

Jasper chuckled. "Bella?"

I had to get out of here. I tried to run out, but his panicked voice sounded, "Bella, watch out!"

It was too late. I tripped and I was falling until he caught me and somehow spun around so that his back hit the floor when we fell outside of the sauna.

"Thank you," I breathed, using his chest to sit up. Until I realized that I was sitting on top of a very naked Jasper.

Holy fuck! He was naked under this towel, and I was sitting on top of him. I sprang up, grabbed my basket and ran from the gym with Jasper on my tail.

"Bella!" he called out and I walked briskly, heading for the laundry room to lock myself in there. "Bella!" he tried again, but to hell with looking back.

Just as I passed the front door, it swung open to reveal a suspicious Rosalie who was looking at me and then her brother, who was probably standing close behind me with a towel swung low on his hips. And then I looked at a smirking Tanya who was doing her best not to laugh.

I ran off with the basket.

I burst into the laundry room in time, throwing the clothes and towels and just about everything to be washed. I tried to catch my breath but I couldn't breathe for the life of me.

Oh my God! Jasper was hotter than I could have imagined. He really was sculpted.

"What did you do?" Tanya teased.

The laundry room door was ajar and the machines were those energy efficient quiet ones so I could hear everything.

"I didn't do anything," Jasper said defensively.

"Oh really?" Rosalie teased next. "Why was Bella running away like a scared kitten? Did she see you naked?"

Tanya laughed out. "Oh, she must have. It scarred me for life when I saw him naked once, but it might have a different effect on Bella."

Oh God! I feel faint.

"She probably feels faint right now," Rosalie said.

_Could she read my mind?_

Tanya chirpily added in a playful tone, "Please, dear sweet cousin of mine whom I love so much, tell me that you've got a plan to date the new girl."

"Tanya, quit bugging him," Rosalie sighed and I wanted to thank Rosalie. _What was Tanya thinking?_ "He's already head over heels for her." _What?!_

Jasper felt something for me. _Oh my God._ This was serious. Even though, a side of me was jumping for joy that I wasn't the only one who felt something, but it couldn't be. I was bad news.

"Would you two stop?" Jasper said with an exasperated sigh.

There was a long pause and then Rosalie and Tanya both said, "No."

He chuckled. "Listen, we're helping Bella out. She's an extraordinary girl and yes, I love talking to her, _Rosalie_, who told Tanya."

"Who, me?" Rosalie sounded like she was feigning innocence.

"Yes, you," Jasper said. "Bella is a great person and she's over here trying to help me with my…"

"Nasty ass," Tanya provided, making me laugh.

"Yes," Jasper admitted and I laughed again.

"So…Bella, huh?" Tanya mused. She reminded me of Peter so I could tell something was coming. "She's a great cook. I mean, I was licking my fingers after breakfast. Sue was right when she told me that the girl should have her own business. Auntie told me how she met her. Do you care to elaborate?" She said to Jasper

"Not yet," Rosalie jumped in and said. "It's Bella's story."

_Thank you, Rosalie. _

"I can accept that," Tanya said. "Jasper, did you know about her friend? The poor thing, I felt so bad for her this morning when she broke down."

"Yeah, she's told me about him," Jasper replied. "I think the holidays and seeing all of us together, hit her really hard."

"It really did," Rosalie said, solemnly.

It was nice of them to be concerned, but Tanya almost made me laugh out loud when she said, "Oh you two, let the poor guy rest in peace. Now I've got an important thing to say…"

"What?" Jasper asked.

"I need reassurance that after little Rosie's here wedding, Alice, who you, and I still don't know why, liked to get freaky with can have her ass kicked."

"There is no need to kick her ass," Jasper chuckled. "I've already broke up with her. It's just getting her to accept it, is the problem."

"Oh, I can get her to accept it," Tanya offered, making me smile at her defensiveness.

"How is that?" Jasper chuckled.

"By sticking my foot up her ass, what do you think?" Tanya said, like it was the most obvious thing. And again, I almost laughed loudly when Tanya added, "Oh no, but then again, I don't know what's been up there."

"Could you stop?" Jasper asked. His voice sounded stressed, but his cousin wasn't finished while Rosalie couldn't stop laughing.

"Why?" Tanya argued. "Jasper, I know you liked the twerp but I always thought she was too prissy for you. That little bitch was doing nothing, but fucking around with other men behind your back and taking you for a fool! And thank God, Peter found out about her and that guy or else, you would have probably married to that thing."

"I know," he sighed in a defeated tone.

"Alright, alright, enough of this sad shit, I want to go out and I'm taking you and Rosalie with me," Tanya said. "Now, please, go and get some clothes on and then go and apologize to the poor girl for shocking her with that…thing." Jasper let out a scream, but I didn't know for what.

"I saw that girl running away like a bat out of hell when I opened the door so I can only assume you scarred her for life when she saw that…thing."

"Shut up, Tanya," Jasper said, and it sounded like he was walking away.

I moved from the door. The dryer stopped and I unloaded it, and then went back to the door, intent on going to the kitchen for some iced tea.

But Tanya and Rosalie stopped me. "Hi."

"Oh, hi," Tanya drawled, waltzing into the laundry room. I moved around her. "Where are you headed?"

"I was going to get some iced tea then fold those." I pointed at the clothes behind her.

"By all means," she waved her hand toward the kitchen and Rosalie smiled.

I got my tea, shaking a little that I was about to be interrogated by those two, but I had nothing to say, because there was nothing to say. There was nothing going on between me and Jasper. We were becoming friends and that would be it.

"Hello," I said, walking into the laundry room.

"Hello, again," Tanya smiled. "Can we help you fold?"

"Okay," I said hesitantly and they moved to the clothes.

I walked over to help but Tanya told me to take a break. _Yep, definitely an interrogation_.

"So why were you running away from Jasper like that?" Tanya didn't beat around the bushes, did she?

"I sort of bumped into him and I remembered that he was naked under his towel." _Why lie? _

"Most girls would consider that a good thing," Tanya reasoned.

"Jasper is one of my bosses, I should respect him." Rosalie smiled brightly while she folded.

"I don't know why you're here, or where you came from, but I haven't seen my cousin look so happy with anyone other than his family and his close friends before, so I had to meet you officially."

"Well, it's nice to meet you too," Tanya smiled at my response.

"Oh, I'm gonna like you a lot," she laughed.

"She's very nice," Rosalie said. "Not only is she a wizard in the kitchen, she's also a great person. A bit of fresh air around here after the stuffiness of Alice."

I had to nip this in the bud. "Listen, I don't know what you guys are hoping for, but I don't think it's me when it comes to Jasper and his happiness."

"Give it time, Bella," Tanya said. "Don't deny something until you've given it time. You might be in for a treat."

"I'd be a danger to him," Tanya grew serious and Rosalie sighed sadly as she knew part of my story.

"You may not know it yet, Bella," Tanya added. "But you ran to the right place."

"How did you?"

"You just told me," she smiled. "If you think you'd be a danger to Jasper, then it's following you. But they don't what they're in for. Then don't know my cousin and what he's capable of. Around here, we don't give up family without a fight and we have never lost."

Her words both strengthened and comforted me.

Before we could say anything else, Jasper knocked and walked in as Rosalie and Tanya finished folding and the washer machine had stopped and I moved to it. I couldn't face him. The minute he walked in, I was bombarded with images of his bare chest flooding my mind.

"I'm sorry about what happened," Jasper said while I unloaded the washer.

"It's okay, I shouldn't have just barged in like that," I said. "I was wrong to do that."

"No, no, Bella. It's okay. It's my fault," he said. "I was finished but…hell I don't know why I turned back now, but anyway, I am so sorry for scaring you like that."

"Okay then," I said bringing us to a compromise. "We were both wrong."

He smiled. "So you're heading back over to the main house after this?" he asked, gesturing to his laundry.

"Yes."

"I'll be back then, and I'll see you at dinner." Jasper moved in close and I held my breath, fearful of what his freshly showered scent would cause me to want to do to him. "I'm gonna take Tanya to town and let her grill me some more." He was silent for a bit. "Bella, I…"

"I'm your friend," I jumped and said, "I don't know what tomorrow holds, but it's great to have a friend like you, Jasper."

"I'm glad you're here, Bella, and it's great to be your friend."

He left me alone with my thoughts after that.

**~~abt~~**

The day passed, morphing into late evening. After leaving Jasper's house, I spent the rest of my time over at the main house in the kitchen with Sue and the other ladies' putting the finishing touches on our massive dinner.

The men dragged Jasper away after him and his sister, along with Tanya, got back. The moment he walked into the kitchen, my breath stopped. His smile warmed me and the intensity of his stare rendered me motionless.

What was Jasper doing to me?

Around him, I felt things that I hardly had time to fathom. Around him, I was starting to want things.

I shouldn't. I was too dangerous for him.

His aunt Diane had pulled me out of my troubling thoughts and I dragged my eyes away from Jasper's laughing, retreating form as Emmett and Peter pulled him from the room, long enough to see Tanya eyeing me and Jasper before she mouthed, "Try," and smiled.

A part of me wanted to try. She wanted me to forget my fear that James was only a step away and live…with whatever I could be with Jasper. She wanted me to be with him if he would accept me.

But the other side, all she wanted me to do was run; run as far as I go and don't look back. She reminded me that I had seen someone this charming before and look how that turned out.

James.

Though, he wasn't as ruggedly beautiful and immaculately charming as Jasper, James had some quality to him that drew women in. That drew his prey in. Although, I had been unwilling and had expressed my disinterest in him, I still watched other women fall for James. He had a certain suave repute about him. It didn't take much for James to lure them in.

I helped Sue set the table and then went upstairs to take a shower and get dressed. Dinner was going to be a semi-formal affair.

In the bath, I left thoughts of my…_husband_, behind. I was already saddened by the thoughts of Garrett I had today, I didn't need to shut down completely by thinking about James and his cruelty. So I focused on getting ready.

I surveyed the closet and decided to go for a light Roberto Cavali dress that Rosalie had told me was from Maria. It had a summery feel to it; white and flirty with grape looking designs running throughout it. The weather was chilly today, but the heaters were blasting so I had nothing to worry about. I paired my dress with low heeled scandals and let my wavy hair down.

Jasper met me at the bottom of the stairs, his eyes taking me and making me melt under his open gaze.

"Good evening, Ma'am," he drawled. "May I have the honor of escorting you to dinner?"

"Only if you promise to keep talking like that all night," I teased and he laughed.

"I'll do my best," Jasper said and I took his offered arm, letting him walk me to the dining room where he seated me beside him.

Everyone was in high spirits as I glanced down the table at all we had created. It was packed! There was turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, biscuits, gravy, stuffing and even a Green Chili Pork Stew made by Carmen that looked so delicious.

When dinner was served, everyone helping themselves, I couldn't stop eating. I wanted to taste everything. I was so happy. Listening to the family's laughter and banter as they talked and enjoyed their time together, made me feel so blessed to be a part of this.

At dessert, I was the tester. Maria, Esme, and Carmen had all been in charge of dessert and from that, came a Blueberry Pie from Carmen, a Cherry Cheesecake from Esme, and a Special Almond Chocolate Cake from Maria, made for Jasper, but one which he insisted I taste first; saying that he had pleasure of tasting his mom's creations before but this was my first time.

I whimpered at the taste of every one of their desserts, much to everyone else's laughter.

When dinner ended, it was time for presents. Jasper received twice as much as everyone else because it was his birthday and I felt a little bad because I didn't get him anything, until a huge box materialized and Maria told him it was from me.

She winked at me over Jasper's head as he thanked me.

"You're welcome," I whispered while wondering what my 'gift' was.

I enjoyed watching the family accept gifts from each other, until Jasper had me one.

"This is for you," he said with a kind smile.

"Thank you." By the time, I said it, I got other gift from Peter and done from Sue, and another from Rosalie.

The gifts just kept on coming. I couldn't stop the laughter that left me as I said 'thank you' until those two little words were dissolved into nothing but mirth.

The Whitlocks and Cortezs were truly wonderful. And this Christmas was the best I had ever had.

When the night was over, Peter and Jasper helped me carry my presents upstairs where Peter threw himself down on my bed, after the last trip, declaring that he was tired.

Jasper drove Peter off the bed, much to his laughter, and Peter got a mischievous look on his face as he approached Jasper and me as we stood by the door.

"What are you doing?" Jasper asked him, but Peter didn't answer. He just walked up and stood between us, producing a mistletoe and held it over our heads. If the ground could open up and swallow me whole, I would have wanted it to happen now.

Jasper looked shocked but murderous as he glared at Peter who actually had the decency to look frightened of his cousin. Jasper must have thought that this would make me feel uncomfortable and while it did, I wanted him to see that I was healing. What he and his family –Peter's stunt included – were doing for me was working.

I felt like a whole new Bella.

So I took the initiative, and I kissed Jasper's cheek, loving the warmth that spread through my body from the contact. "Merry Christmas, Jasper," I said while beating down the urge to kiss his pouty red lips. I shouldn't be thinking about him like that.

Jasper looked stunned and Peter was frozen on the spot. But I loved that Jasper followed my lead and leaned down, whispering, "Merry Christmas, Bella," as he kissed my cheek and the heat within me intensified.

I turned to Peter, kissing his cheek. "Merry Christmas, Peter. I'm looking forward to getting to know you."

"I look forward to it too, Little Bit," he smiled brightly.

He accepted defeat well. But I felt that Peter will have more in store for me.

"Good night, Bella," Jasper drawled, dragging a laughing Peter from the room as I returned the sentiment.

After the two of them left, I laughed at myself and their reaction. What was I getting myself into? Why would I allow myself to develop these feelings for Jasper? But how could I stop something so strong? I have never felt this way before.

I could hear Jasper and Peter arguing outside my door before Peter announced, rather loudly, that I kissed Jasper's cheek and I blushed as Peter yelled and ran off.

Jasper must be chasing him.

If this was what my Christmas was like, then I was definitely looking forward to the New Year.


	13. Happy New Year!

_**AN: Happy New Year from the Whitlocks**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter twelve: Happy New Year<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Jasper, December, 2010...<strong>_

_She kissed me!_ It was only on the cheek, but I couldn't stop saying it over and over again in my head. _She kissed me! _

It has been hours since I last saw Bella and her smile, reminding me of the kiss she gave me on Christmas. That simple peck on the cheek had made my body tingle from just the touch of her gentle lips. Her kiss had been like liquid fire seeping into my pores and igniting me.

It was nothing but a simple peck, but everything in me wanted it to be so much more.

Since then, I couldn't sleep. I tossed and I turned at nights, hating to be away from Bella. I would stay in the room next to hers, my old bedroom, but it was now being occupied by my nosy cousin Tanya who has been keeping a close eye on me since she got here over the holidays.

"I don't want you to get hurt again," was her reason and I wanted to agree, except Bella couldn't hurt me. The only thing hurt truly me was that because of James, I couldn't be open and honest with Bella about my developing feelings for her that surpassed friendship without running the risk of scaring her away.

That fucking bastard! I wanted to rip his throat out for what he'd done to Bella.

So instead of sleeping soundly, all I could stay up and think about was, is Bella okay? Was she thinking about the kiss too? Was she sorry she did it? I know she figured out Peter's prank but did she regret going to that length to beat him at his own game?

I didn't. But did she?

I tossed, turned and agonized over my over thinking. Damn, my brain sometimes. I had to overanalyze everything.

It was four in the morning the last time I glanced at my clock and I had to just give up. I got out of bed, forgetting sleep and made it while trying to block my mind from Bella and the impending desirable thoughts that would arise while I was in the shower.

I couldn't help them anymore. Every day she was improving and while her confidence was growing so was Bella's body into a healthy, attractive frame. I couldn't get over the dangerous curves she was getting or how hot her little ass looked in jeans. I tried not to, I really did, but I wanted her. God knows, I wanted Bella Swan.

When I couldn't avoid it anymore, I went into my adjoining bathroom, stripping down and getting under the warm spray only to be assaulted by thoughts of Bella in there with me.

Her supple breasts pressed up against my back while nimble fingers slowly ran down my chest. Her warm little breath on me, making me shiver, as she wrapped her hand around my cock, pumping me. My own hand fueled my fantasy as I stroked myself to an orgasm while thinking about dream Bella commanding me to cum.

My eyes snapped open in time to see my essence slipping down the drain as I washed off again and got out of the shower, more exhausted than I had gone in.

While I got dressed, I thought all I wanted to do today. It was New Year's Eve and I got the day to myself. I wouldn't be heading to the hospital and while I would be glad about that, seeing as I would get to see Bella, I was less than incline to deal with Paul.

I hated that we had to have an emergency meeting today with him and Uncle Joshua. But Paul needed reminding that my last name was 'Whitlock' not his. He couldn't bring deals to myself, Mom, and Rose and try to force them down our throats. I didn't like to be dictated to.

Plus, Paul had way too many skeletons in his closet to be arguing with me and I needed to remind him of that.

When I walked out of my room, I took the steps slowly while thinking about how good I would feel if Bella were living here instead of the main house. I just wanted her close. I wanted to see that smile. I loved her smile and wanted it to be the first thing I see every morning.

If Bella and I had met under different circumstances, and she allowed me to, I would give her the world. Anything she wanted, would be hers. I would be hers.

I shook the dangerous thoughts away because all Bella needed was a friend and she would be so disappointed in me if she knew how her friend was thinking about her a couple of minutes ago in the shower.

I walked into the kitchen, and headed straight for the coffeemaker. I needed a strong cup of coffee before I head out on the ranch. A few chores would clear my mind.

"Your cup is already set out for you," Aunt Esme said, making me jump sky high.

"Fuck!"

"Language," she warned.

"You scared me," I countered.

"I'll give you that," she said, looking at my mug and then me. "Bella really takes care of you." I didn't answer, because I liked Bella taking care of me and my aunt was about to psychoanalyze that. "When I got down here, it was the only mug set out. She anticipates your move."

"Yes," I said warily.

"Hmm," Esme sighed.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing, Jasper," she smiled, but I wasn't reassured.

"You think she still fears me."

"I think she's relating to James when preparing things for you, but I think there is something there between the two of you that is refreshing and healing in a sense."

"But still unhealthy?"

Esme looked at me, long and hard. "If Bella will truly ever be healthy remains to be seen. But I would like her to grow the backbone she so craves."

"She already has," I said, defending Bella.

"Not just with you," Esme commented. "Bella is learning to separate you and James, but I need more."

"No co-dependent, no wanting to please anyone, especially a man," I surmised.

"Not just that, Jasper," Esme said. "I want Bella think, make decisions, and love herself no matter what. Most of all, I want her to be brave."

"So do I."

We had our coffee in silent. And I wondered if I should keep more of a distance from Bella.

No. I couldn't do it. That decision came almost instantly. I wanted to watch her grow into the woman it looked like she was destined to be.

I left my aunt after having my coffee, and spent the morning on the ranch with the guys. Emmett and Peter joined me out there and we had a blast with the ranch hands while we all reined the animals in. I saw Bella once as she went over to my place and I sighed at the beauty walking toward my house. Her mahogany hair swishing at her waistline, I'd heard Mama saying something about a makeover for Bella but I don't know when she and Rose would do it. But I hoped Bella keep the hair. I loved it.

"You've got it bad," Peter said, and I rolled my eyes.

I did, but I didn't want to admit it to him. "I'm just watching her walk over there."

"Sure, you are," he said smugly. "Jasper, get over your damn self and admit that you want the damn girl. She's nice; she's beautiful, what's not to want?"

"Bella, isn't ready for anything that resembles a relationship outside of friendship," I told him.

"I don't know much about her," Emmett added. "But I don't think you need to be making decisions for Bells She's a smart girl. Let her decide."

I couldn't answer. I nodded. Maybe Emmett was right. I have to let Bella decide what was good for her. In a way, Esme was right. Bella would definitely grow more if I let her make her own decisions.

Bella was already coming into her own though and I got to see that the other day when we had lunch together; after I had conveniently forgotten one of my phones and didn't bother to come back for it until lunch time. Bella saw right through me and called me out on it, surprising me how she was in her statement. I told her I missed her and she blushed crimson making my heart flutter.

Our lunch was a success. We talked quite a bit. And when the conversation moved to our fathers, I could see her love and gratitude for the man who she called her stepfather, Phil.

"_He helped me leave," she said with a sad smile. "He told me that I can never go back, but sometimes, I miss him because he was the only dad I have ever known." _

"_What about your real dad, Charlie?" It was too late, but Bella didn't mind my snooping around. _

_She laughed. "I figured you'd be checking up on me." _

"_Yeah, and James…" She froze at his name. "I want to keep you safe." _

"_So you're hiding me?" Bella teased. _

"_Yes," I told her. "You're more than worth the trouble." _

_Bella smiled a teary smile and a tear slid from her eye. "Thank you."_

"_You're welcome."_

"_What about your dad?" she asked._

_I hadn't really spoken about my dad of recent. It hurt too much, because I still missed him. _

"_What about him?" I didn't want to talk about him. I feared how I would react. I couldn't blame my dad for dying. It was sickness. Death had been inevitable. _

_But Bella was pulling it out of me. She made me want to talk about him. "What was he like?" she asked. _

_I smiled as I felt tears pooled in my eyes at a memory of my dad when I was a kid. I remembered his strong laugh as he and I played in the mud. I was just a child and he and Mom were my world. "He was a great guy, real nice, he was very kind and he thought of people as equal," I shared with her. "To my father, the man on the corner was just as important as the man behind the desk at a bank. He loved equality. We may have been rich, but it was no reason to be assholes in his book." _

_Bella laughed. "He sounds wonderful."_

"_He was."_

_We continued to talk and Bella told me her aspiration of seeing Charlie again someday and then she asked about the time I spent with my dad. So I told her about our hunting trips and our love for Star Wars. Bella laughed at me as expected and told me she didn't believe that I was that much of a geek. _

"_Oh, but I was, Bella," I said, feeling a little better that I spoke about my dad with her. "I was." _

_We laughed together. _

I smiled at the memory as I strolled up my porch and walked through the front door. The house was empty. Bella must have already left. She was working with Sue today. Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle had already left too. They were having lunch together. They would be returning to their home tomorrow. Everyone would be going home tomorrow.

I took another shower; this one more relaxing than the first. Maybe because I was exhausted from all the chores I did. Afterward, I got dressed and went down to my office, calling Jenks. I wanted an update on things. Renee, Bella's mom, had to have already visited Charlie and I wanted to know how it went.

Jenks answered on the second ring. "Hello, Mr. Whitlock."

"Hello, Jenks."

"Sir, all went well with Chief Swan," Jenks said. "He was a pro. Ms. Higginbotham didn't get a thing out of him."

"That's good," I replied. "I suppose knowing your child is safe did wonders for him."

"Yes, Sir," Jenks commented.

"What about James?"

"He's been making moves to search for Bella, but I have my team destroying his efforts at every turn," Jenks said; you could hear the pride in his voice.

"That's great news. Keep me updated on that." That bastard wasn't getting anywhere near Bella.

After Jenks had gotten me more of Bella's family information over Christmas, I shared it with those who already knew, and then we got on the phones.

Mom took up the task of contacting Phil, and while he was glad to hear that Bella was okay.

Rose called Phil's son, Micah, letting him know that Bella was fine and we would work a time when she could speak to them. He thanked Rose.

I took on the task of calling Charlie. And I had never been so nervous in my life.

_The phone rang about three times before it was picked up. "Hello?" The gruff voice on the other end sounded strong._

"_Hello, Sir," I greeted him. "My name is Jasper Whitlock."_

"_And?" he commented. I liked his attitude. He could protect if Bella she wanted to go to him. He didn't sound like he easily trusted anyone._

"_Your daughter, Bella, has been staying with my family," I told him. _

"_Bella? Is she okay?" The father in him took over, and worry was laced in his voice. _

"_Yes, Sir."_

"_Call me Charlie."_

"_Charlie, she's fine," I said. "She's been here on my family's ranch since before Christmas. My mother met her when someone stole her car at a gas station." _

_That got him angry. "Did those bastards touch her? If they did, I swear to God, I'll come down to wherever the hell you are , I'll find them, and I'll rip them to pieces!" _

_I loved the anger in his voice. Again, I was convinced that he could protect Bella. "We didn't bother to look for them, Sir, because…"_

"_You don't want to risk reporting it and have that son of a bitch find her, I understand," he grumbled. Then, his voice got light again. "But, Bells is okay, right?" _

"_Yes, Sir." _

"_Where are you?" he asked._

"_Henderson, Texas." I could tell him that because all our lines were secure. James wouldn't be finding out about these calls or what was said even if he tried. _

"_Her mom called me," Charlie stated. _

"_I figured she would," I said. "Listen, Charlie, I want you to understand something. I'm a very powerful man, from a very powerful family."_

"_Jasper Whitlock, heir to the Whitlock fortune, one of the wealthiest families in Texas," Charlie said. "You're a doctor, as well as a rancher. You're estimated to be worth billions." _

"_I see you're googling me." I heard the clicking on the computer. _

"_Of course," Charlie said smugly. "I haven't trusted anyone since Renee stole my daughter from me."_

"_That's good because I need you to do something for me, Charlie."_

"_Anything if it has to do with my daughter," he said._

"_Help me keep her safe."_

"Charlie and I came to an understanding so he won't say anything, but keep those bodyguards on him," I told Jenks.

"Yes, sir, I don't trust James either." We talked some more and then disconnected the call, leaving me with a moment to think.

I didn't know what James had planned, but if by some miracle he got close enough, it will be his last day on this Earth.

**~~abt~~**

I rolled my eyes at the length of this pointless meeting. I wasn't about to say 'yes' to this deal. Uncle Joshua knew it as did my mom and Rose. But Paul, he was being an ass. A know it all and I wanted to shove my fist down his throat for more reasons than one.

Grandpa Whitlock's will be upheld. There will be no more drilling on the Whitlock land. While oil has been the foundation of our family business for many years, I was hell-bent on keeping the 'no drilling' rule. Our businesses were doing fine, our projections and monetary investments would keep us living comfortably for years to come.

But Paul couldn't understand that we didn't want this deal and I was about to drop him on his ass if he made one more wisecrack.

"I'm telling you, Jasper, 30 million is not a bad price," Paul stated, tapping his pen on the table in frustration.

"Yet, my answer is still no," I replied in a calm tone, which only proved to infuriate Paul.

"Why the hell not?!" He slammed his fist down on the table, making me smile at his absurd attitude.

"Because, I'm the boss here, and I said no," I said; again using that calm tone to drive him crazy.

"You're being unreasonable," he argued and I scoffed.

Paul was a hothead, and I was not about to break my family's tradition for his ass so that he could make a quick buck. I hated his style at these meetings. He was always challenging me and it was not a good route if he knew what I knew.

I was not to be fucked with.

My uncle Joshua has tried to warn Paul on more than one occasion, but he has yet to heed those warnings. He saw my uncle as being afraid of me. But my uncle didn't fear me. He was just a very smart man.

"You're being stubborn, Whitlock," Paul insisted as my anger started to get the best of me. But the fool went on, "Thirty million dollars and you want to pass that up, for what?"

A knock came at the door and it slightly opened just as I sprang up and slammed my fist down on the table, making everyone jump. "Damn it, Paul!" I shouted, "If I say no, then it's a goddamn NO!"

The room was quiet. It was as still as a morgue when my fiery eyes met Bella's scared ones. She stood by the door, trembling with the tray and I immediately regretted my reaction to Paul. Not because he got me angry, but because the one person, I didn't want to see this side of me, just did.

Mom ran over to her, taking the tray and whispering something to Bella, who quickly let go of the tray and practically ran from the door.

Rose looked at me disappointedly.

"Fuck," I said softly, throwing myself down in my chair. I ran a hand over my face roughly, and then through my hair, pulling at the ends. "Fuck," I cursed again.

When I looked up, my eyes met Paul's curious ones while he glanced at the door and smirked as Mom put the tray carrying a pitcher of sweet tea and glasses down. She looked as angry as I felt but also as disappointed as Rose seemed to be when she took her seat beside me.

However, Paul held my curiosity and fury. "What?" I seethed. "Say what you want to say." You could see it, the snide comment or question that was dancing on his tongue.

"I don't think you'd like my question," he admitted, smiling at his own little inside joke.

"Doesn't matter; I still want to hear it."

"Really?" he said, incredulously.

"Really."

"Fine, who is she?" he said. "Do you know anything about her? Why does she look like someone who should be in some rehab somewhere?" Mom's chair scarped against the floor, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see Rose whispering something to her.

Paul noticed this. "You see? I ask questions about this…Bella, and ya'll look like you want to rip me apart," he commented.

"Doesn't change the fact that I want to know what you're thinking," I said, not denying that I wanted to kick his ass.

"Well, how do you know her and where does she come from?" Paul smirked.

"Bella is a daughter of a family friend and we are helping her out of a bad situation," I told him. I could feel Uncle Joshua, Mom and Rose's eyes on me, but I kept my focus on Paul. Uncle Joshua had been scantily filled in about Bella's past. He knew a few contacts in Federal department just in case Bella ever wanted to disappear.

"A friend of the family's?" Paul scoffed, showing that he didn't believe me.

"You think you know everyone we know?" I questioned. "Or is the fact that you work for our legal team makes you think you know every _single_ thing about us?" I asked him, watching the doubt rise in his eyes.

"No, I didn't say that," he argued. "But the way you act and how I hear my wife talk about her, I thought you were mixing a little business with pleasure," he smirked.

Rose's chair moved this time and Mom calmed her down.

Uncle Joshua shook his head and looked like he wanted out of this room right now.

But the fact that Paul used the term 'mix business with pleasure', gave me my in. "Mix business with pleasure, huh?"

"Yes," he chuckled. "Even at Christmas dinner we all saw it," He went on. "It's the way you look at her. Everyone knows you want her. So if you haven't already, why don't you go for it? I'm sure her family would be very happy to know that she was sleeping with a billionaire."

If he kept talking like this, I would be in jail by the end of the day.

I braced my elbows against the table, drawing closer to him, making sure he held my glare, "You see, Paul, I don't think like you. If I like Bella, then it's my prerogative and my fucking business. I am the boss, aren't I?"

"Yes, but it's our job as your attorneys to ensure that your decisions don't hurt you," he countered.

"Hurt me?" I chuckled. "Bella can't hurt me. She doesn't have the power to, as you just stated, 'with me being a _billionaire_ and all'. I, on the other hand, can hurt her, can't I?"

"Yes, but…" he started before I cut him off.

"You doubt I'll do that because I haven't fucked her yet, right?"

"Jasper..." Uncle Joshua tried but I cut him off too.

"No, this needs to be said. What or how Bella has come to live and work here is and will continue to be my problem. It is none of your concern."

"And if your legal team is needed?" Paul countered with a challenging glare.

"Then I will choose who to work with," I snarled. "What I want to do is none of your business, but working for us, makes what you do, our concern."

"What's that suppose to mean?" he asked, his voice steadily rising.

But I don't answer that. I went on, "And the fact that you're married to my cousin, Tanya, makes your life _my_ playground."

"Excuse me?" He sprang up and shouted.

I could feel everyone's eyes jumping between us. I could almost hear the questions and I was about to answer the unspoken sentences.

Paul looked worried and I laugh out. "Why the hell are you laughing?" he sneered.

"I think you know." He looked terrified. He eyed my mom, but she didn't know about this.

This was between me and Tanya. She called me and asked for my help, and I was more than willing to do it.

"Jasper, what do you mean?" Rose asked. _She didn't know either._

I didn't answer my sister. I kept my eyes on Paul. "I think Paul knows, and he's gonna return to Dallas and either STOP! Or pack up and leave."

He paled. He looked like he was about to throw up. I sat down in my chair, and Paul collapsed in his.

"What you think, I don't check up on my family?" I said in a triumphant tone. "I know everything, you asshole. Now you've got some decisions to make and a very short time to make 'em. This meeting is adjourned."

I was up and out of my seat and heading to the door without a second glance. Bella was the only thing on my mind. I wanted to find her and apologize. I wanted her to know I was the same friend. The same funny guy she was getting to know. I wasn't that beast she had just witnessed; at least not all the time.

But Mom stopped me on the way. We walked downstairs together while Rose only stopped me long enough to ask if Tanya knew about Paul.

"Yes," I told her and watched her go off in search of her cousin to comfort her.

I turned to Mom. "What is it? I want to find Bella."

"And yet, you need to give her some space," Mom said. "Let her sort this out. She knows you're not angry at her. But she needs a moment to gather herself. She's never seen you like that before."

I hated it, but I resigned, "Okay," and watched my mom head into the kitchen where Bella was undoubtedly was.

I stayed out of Bella's way all day. I gave her space. I wanted her to see that I wouldn't hover. And when I got the chance, I would apologize for scaring her.

In the evening, Bella made me sigh in relief when she sat beside me for the last big family dinner. Paul kept his distance, throwing sour looks my way, while Tanya stayed close to Rose and Emmett.

"Are you okay?" Bella whispered to me over dessert.

"I'm much better now." I took her hand and she wrapped her fingers around mine, smiling that she didn't flinch away.

After dinner, we all idly chat and I stuck close to Bella while she interacted with Esme, Carlisle, Char and Peter.

Peter came her laughing and I almost kissed my cousin in thanks. I loved hearing Bella's sweet little laugh.

As the hours ticked away, rapidly approaching that inevitable midnight so that we could ring in a new year, I could think of all I was thankful for during this past year, especially the arrival of Bella Swan.

She was a beautiful mystery. A woman who wanted to finally live the life she had intended to live, and be happy.

Almost at the hour of twelve, the family gathered outside. I lost Bella to Rose and my mom long ago and I loved watching them together. It warmed my heart to see the three of them huddled together and laughing.

"Alright, everyone, it's time!" Peter shouted.

_Ten!_

Looking around, I thanked God for another year with my family. Over the last couple of years, we'd loved and lost and while it pained my heart to know that Dad wasn't here anymore with his arm around Mom, we had to push on.

_Nine!_

Bella came into view; she was wearing a wide smile on her lovely face and chuckled like I liked her to when I cocked my head to the side, looking at her like a curious puppy. I didn't think she was entirely aware of how beautiful she was, but slowly I wanted to show her through our friendship. Bella deserved a great friend, and I would be him.

_Eight!_

I watched her say something to my mom and Mom winked at me as Bella made her way over to me; coming to stand at my side. It was wonderful that day by day the timid girl I had met that first day when she fainted at the sight of me was slowly fading into the background and leaving this remarkable woman in her wake. The New Year would be Bella's year of redemption.

_Seven!_

Mom and almost every woman in my family were all glancing at Bella and I in some way or form, and smiling. I could almost feel their happiness that it wasn't Alice by my side this year. Alice was my past now. She wasn't what I thought she was. Or at the very least, what I hoped she could have become. I have moved on.

_Six!_

Bella laced her hand in mine and my body sang.

_Five!_

Her little hand was the warmest thing. And as I wrapped my fingers more securely around hers I swore to protect her from harm. I would be here for Bella in any way she needed me to be.

_Four!_

I could hardly take my eyes off of her. When I finally did, I looked around, loving the sight and feeling of the love I could feel. Bella would always have a place in this family.

_Three!_

She gripped my hand tighter in anticipation and I smiled. James would never be allowed to hurt her again. I would see to it.

_Two!_

She shivered and I instinctively threw an arm around her. She didn't jump away and my aunt Esme smiled. It made my spirit soar to have Bella close.

"One, Happy New Year!" Peter shouted as the fireworks went off and Bella screamed excitedly, astounding me when she started to jump up and down in my arms.

She was all smiles as I told her, "Happy New Year, Bella."

"Happy New Year, Jasper," she said, kissing my cheek.

We stared at each other as the sky colored with the fireworks and the laughter of my family made me smile while the beauty of Bella made my heart sing.

"Beautiful," she whispered, as she stood still for a second and stared into my eyes.

"Yes, you are." She laughed and ducked her head into my chest and then looked up at the fireworks while I tightened my hold on her.

And what I couldn't say out loud just yet, I whispered in my thoughts, _"__I wish you could stay forever, Bella Swan."_


	14. New Dreams, Old Nightmares

_**AN: Bella in the New Year **_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter thirteen: New Dreams, Old Nightmares<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, January, 2011...<strong>_

"Bella! You up?" Maria shouted up to me.

"Yeah!" I shouted back as I packed up the last of my things.

I had been up since the crack of dawn, packing my things for my move over to Jasper's house.

When Maria told me yesterday that I'd be moving out, I wasn't sure what she meant. At first, I thought she was kicking me out because as Sue had explained that Tanya's husband was snooping around about me.

But that wasn't it. I shouldn't have doubted Jasper or Maria. Paul's little questions couldn't best them so I had no reason to fret. I was moving because of Jasper's insistence.

Since I worked mostly with him, why not live over at his place? I should reservations about it. I should have questions, but between the yearning to be close to him and the way I missed him each night I had to stay in my room, I jumped at the chance without a second thought.

Maria was still my boss, but I answered to Jasper also. I would take care of things as I generally did before, the only change was, he was just across the hall from me this time around.

"Whew! Is that everything?" Maria asked as I descended the stairs.

"Yep," I smiled, and she took one of my bags, lugging it out to the golf cart. Sam and some other guys had already brought most of my stuff over to Jasper's.

"Good," Maria laughed. "Let's go."

I got in the golf cart she used to get over to Jasper, and we were off. Sue was already over there and I was expecting a surprise.

Jasper had kept quiet about the room I would be staying in. I tried to question him about it, but he was good at keeping it a secret. Nothing worked. All I could see, were guys coming and going and I took care of things in the main house while Sue took care of things over there so I wouldn't find out.

The suspense was killing me.

The plans had started after New Year's. Jasper and mine's friendship was growing to a height of utter comfort, making me feel like he'd been in my life forever.

Jasper made me laugh in ways no one has been able to since Garrett. Jasper brought light to my world with his wits and beauty. I admired him over him every day, and most of the time, he just smiled and tipped his hat to me, making me blush red.

"I cannot wait to see what he did," Maria expressed.

"You don't know?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "He kept your room under tight wraps. And Sue, she helped!"

I laughed as Maria pulled up and stopped the cart. We got out and took our bags to the door. Sue opened it and smiled.

"Are you two ready?" she asked, bouncing on the spot.

Maria and I nodded. "Come on," Sue instructed and we followed her upstairs.

When we got up there, Sue handed me a key and Maria jumped back in excitement. Actually, they were both bouncing in excitement as I turned the key in the lock to the room that was right across from Jasper's; the same room he had left me in when I slept over after we'd gone shopping that first time.

With one last look at their amused faces, I opened the door, and what I saw made me gasp in shock at the beautifully decked out room before me. I didn't remember the room like this. He had changed everything!

Glancing around the room, I said, "It's so beautiful. How did he even find the time?"

"Anything is possible for my son," Maria commented proudly.

_Was he real or just a perfect dream?_

The room held a white and dusty rose theme. The bed had white drapes around it, tied off, to show you the chocolate and white bedding. The nightstands and chest of drawers matched the dusty rose and white theme, and on the nightstand, the one closer to the window, there was a small vase filled with pink roses, because I told Jasper that I loved them.

It was like a mini apartment just for me. The room was well lit and I could see myself waking up in here every morning being welcomed by the sunlight streaming in. I also had a love seat in the corner with a small bookshelf beside it with a computer desk by my closet.

"So I take it, you like it then?" Maria smiled while I looked at her through teary eyes.

"So much," I whispered, turning back to eye the exquisite space.

"Well, you can use either one of the two bathrooms he said to tell you," Sue said. "It doesn't matter which one you choose."

"Okay," I whispered.

Sue came up behind me and hugged me. I turned in her arms, crying. "What is it?" she asked, her voice laced with concern.

"She's just overwhelmed." I heard Maria say through my sobs.

I don't know how long we all stood there while I wept on Sue's shoulder before we parted and then unpacked my things.

"So, he'll be back around…I don't know when," Maria said as we all made our way downstairs. "You can do what you want until then. Get to know the space, Bella."

Maria and Sue left after that. They were heading in town to shop. I did as they said, and walked around the house, exploring every room I hadn't explored before.

I acquainted myself with everything. I went to his office, which was in disarray and cleaned up then I went to the kitchen, where I was reminded of the other day when Jasper wanted to make the perfect omelet while we were over at the main house.

We kept arguing, and he kept a smile on his face the enitre time.

"_No, like this, and turn the heat on low, you don't want it to burn," I instructed him. _

_He turned down the heat beneath the frying pan and then asked, "Now what?"_

"_Okay, now take your time from here," I said. _

"_No," he pouted. It was the most adorable thing. _

"_I want to do the flippy thing with the frying pan, I've seen you do it."_

_As he aimed the pan, I tried to warn him. "Jasper, no." My own tone surprised me at how strong it was, but it only seemed to fuel him to try and flip the omelet, which ended up on our clothes and the floor, with Jasper laughing. _

_I felt like I was on the outside of my body watching myself as I stood there with my brows knitted and a hand on my hip. "You're cleaning that up," I scolded him before walking away. _

"_Oh come on Bella, I'm sorry." He called after me, laughing, but I didn't turn around. _

Jasper was amazing. Because of him, my health was returning. And I was feeling more and more energized each day. Maybe not having to be worried about what would happen when James came home was also working out well for my nights since the nightmares were at a minimum.

I couldn't remember the last time I had one.

I felt so much gratitude; I decided to make his favorite dessert for later. Strawberry Cheesecake.

I worked diligently on my creation and when I was finished, I marinated the meat I would be using later on.

After a small lunch, I wandered into the living room. It was great to have the place to myself, but I missed Jasper. I turned on his stereo system, letting the music fill the room while I picked up an album off the coffee table.

When I did, loose pictures of him and Alice fell out. They looked like they had been taken out of the book. I guess this is where he was before work, leaving his past behind.

I placed the pictures on the coffee table and sat down on the couch with the album. The first few images I saw where of his family and himself as a kid. I saw a wedding photo with a man standing beside what looked like a younger Maria. The man was the spitting image of Jasper.

_He looked so much like his father. _

There were lots more pictures in there with his dad, uncles, aunts and cousins. There were vacation pictures, some of the family out on the ranch.

Every page I turned made me feel more familiar with this family. They were all so happy in these, and still are.

Turning some more pages, I came upon photos of Jasper, Peter, Emmett and some guy with striking unkempt hair. It was this strange reddish color and he looked so familiar, but I couldn't place the face. This must be Edward, Carlisle's little brother.

Jasper said that Edward would be coming down to Texas soon so I would get to meet him.

There were lots of crazy pictures with the guys. Most of the pictures looked like they were from when the guys were in high school or college.

Skipping more pages brought me to pictures with the guys and Jasper's dad on hunting trips.

There were also vacation pictures of them on an island and at this house. Alice was in a few of those pictures so I quickly skipped over those. She still gave me the creeps and I couldn't even look at her photo without a shiver running down my spine. There was something about her that reminded me of Vicky and I hated that. I hated how weak I felt when I looked at Alice.

The next picture nearly made me laugh my ass off. Jasper was telling the truth. He really was a geek!

There were pictures of a younger Jasper dressed as Han Solo, Edward dressed as Luke Skywalker and I'm not sure who was in the Chewbacca costume.

"That's Emmett under there." I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Jasper's voice behind me.

"Fuck! Don't do that!" I shouted before slapping my hand over my mouth.

Holding his hands up in surrender, he said, "Sorry, but you're the one laughing at me. Please don't tell me you're a trekkie." His tone was almost pleading and made me let a guffaw before biting my lip to keep from laughing at him.

He walked over to the couch and plopped down on it beside me, taking the album from me.

I couldn't help but admire how good he looked in his scrubs and lab coat or how his hair seemed to glow from the sunlight coming through the windows, but I quickly distracted myself by looking at the book in his hand.

He put his feet up on the coffee table and patted the spot right next to him. "I won't bite."

"Whatever," I mumbled, rolling my eyes, and sitting down next to him.

He opened the album back on the page that made me laugh and I let out another guffaw. He cocked his eyebrow, staring at me with a seemingly serious expression and it only made me laugh harder until I snorted and fought myself to stop.

"Sorry." I managed to get out amidst my mirth.

"Very funny," he pouted before muttering, "Trekkie."

"Is this reverse psychology or something?"

He closed the book, marking the page with his finger before meeting my eyes. He looked at me for while before he finally said, "It is, a bit, but mostly it's me wanting you to feel like you have nothing to be worried about when you're around me."

"Why?" I asked. "Why are you doing all of this, Jasper?"

He thought about his answer. "I really like you."

"You shouldn't."

"I know," Jasper whispered, and then kissed my cheek, "But I do."

It was the first time he admitted it.

He didn't wait for me to answer. He just sat back and opened the album; poised and ready to share his life with me.

"Let's start at the beginning, Darlin'," Jasper said. "You point them out, and I'll let you know what's happening in the photos. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

We went through the album and when we got to Alice's pictures, Jasper's face fell and he took the rest of them out. "They're not needed anymore. It's over."

"How long were you together, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I don't mind," Jasper said solemnly. "We were together for about…" he laughed before going on, "Six years. I'd known her for a while though."

"Your families were old friends?"

"Something like that," he said. "Our moms knew each other and our dads, though they were good buddies, were more business rivals than anything else. Alice just seemed different at the time and I was drawn to her."

"You must have really loved her."

"I did, but sometimes it isn't enough." His answer sounded so broken, and I decided not to ask anything else.

"Well, I probably should have asked this before, but you scared the hell out of me," I said, reminding him of the heart attack he nearly gave me. "What are you doing here? Are you done working?"

"Nope." He smiled. "It's lunch time and I'm hiding out from a couple of patients so I decided to come up here and check on you."

"Thanks," I said. "I was okay though. I was going through a fellow Stars Wars buff's album." His face lit up in the most adorable way when I said that and I had to laugh.

"So not a trekkie?"

"Nope, not a trekkie," I said, laughing as he sighed in relief. "What's with not liking Star Trek?"

"It's not that I don't. It's just that Dad and I had a love for Star Wars and I ran with that for years," he explained.

"So it started off as a bonding experience?"

"Pretty much." His phone went off before he could say anything else. "I gotta go."

"Wait! What about lunch?" I asked, jumping from the couch ready to head to the kitchen to make him something.

"That's alright, darlin', I told you I was just checking up on you. Walk me out?"

"Okay." We walked to the door together, but before he left, he asked, "How do you like your room?"

"I love it." I sighed. "It's…there are no words. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, darlin'." The smile on his face when he called me that, said so much.

As he got on the porch, I tried to ask why. "Umm, why do you…?"

His eyes met mine in question and words suddenly evaded me when the crystal blue of them penetrated my brown ones.

"What were you gonna say?" he asked, pulling me out of my reverie.

"Umm…I…why do you call me darlin'?"

He smiled at the question. "Well, it's just a sentiment that I like to use sometimes. Why do you ask?"

"It's nothing," I tried to say, but his probing eyes were on mine, digging for more until I caved. "It's the way you say it. It feels like it means more." God, I wanted him to say what I thought it meant.

"I told you, Bella, I want to be your friend," he said, remaining evasive in his answer. "I'll see you later. Have a good day."

"You too." He smiled and I stood by the door, watching until he got in his truck and drove off.

**~~abt~~**

His answer sat with me for most of the day as I went about finding odd things to do. I stumbled on his Stars Wars collectibles and had another good laugh when I found action figures, light sabers and more. His office was a mess, but I did my best to organize it.

While making dinner, I thought about how I was going to ask Jasper about getting around town on my own. Sue had her own car, and I was wondering if maybe I could ask if I could borrow it. I didn't want to inconvenience her by asking her to take me to town every time I had somewhere to go.

I didn't have a car anymore and I was not about to touch any of the Whitlocks' cars. I wonder what type of cars Jasper had? I have yet to go to the garage. I know he has more cars other than the Ford F150 truck he liked to drive. Maybe I'd ask him when he got home.

When I turned the stove, Jasper walked into the kitchen. "Hey," he said, heading over to the fridge to get some beers.

"Hey," I replied, watching him put the beers down and taking off his lab coat.

"So how was the rest of the day?"

"It was good." I said, grabbing the plates for dinner. "I took the liberty of organizing some stuff in your office. I hoped you're cool with that."

"I'm happy for that," he smiled. "I've been meaning to do that forever. You managed to sort out all of that?"

"Yeah," I said happily. "It wasn't easy, but I'm happy with how it turned out."

"I'll take a look later on," he said. "What have you got there, darlin', it smells real nice."

I ducked my head while fixing his plate, smiling at the sentiment he said he loved to use. The problem for me was, I loved hearing it a little too much.

"I made Chicken Cacciatore with steamed rice," I told him, bringing his plate over to him at the island.

"This looks so damn good," he exclaimed. "Where's yours?"

I sighed and went and got it. Jasper then said we should eat at the dining table. Sitting down to dinner with him was an experience. He seemed to unwind and really wanted to discuss his day. I sat there, not quietly as I would've with James, while he enjoyed his meal and we chatted about our day.

Dinner passed, and soon we were nursing our second beer respectively after I gave Jasper a slice of his cheesecake, thanking him for the room. He was so happy for the cheesecake. After he polished it off, he invited me down to the garage.

Jasper opened the door for me and I stood there in shock at the beauties before me.

Now, I didn't know a lot about what was under the hood of a car or a truck, but I had come to learn to appreciate their beauty. "This is..." I try to get out as Jasper chuckles.

"This is..." he repeated.

"Just...wow!" I laughed.

He laughed along with me. "So, you know a little about cars, huh?"

"You'd be surprised what you learn when you're stuck home all day."

"So you came down here today then?" he asked mistakenly.

_He thought I meant here._ "No. I mean in…"

I looked at him willing him to understand before he said, "Sacramento."

"Yeah...there," I replied.

"Bella, you don't have to…"

"Talk about it unless I want to," I finished for him.

"Exactly," he said quietly, his face in a gloom. However, he quickly lightened up and asked, "So cars, what do you know?"

He came to stand in front of me and looking behind him, I noticed a bike, a breathtaking car and a SUV. "Well, that's a Honda CBR600RR. They are really fast," I said pointing at the bike, and then turning to the car that took my breath away. "And this is a breathtaking Bugatti Veyron 164 Grand Sport, how did you get it in blue?" I don't think I breathed right until I got that sentence out. The car was a dream.

"Asked," he said with a bright smile. "You're not finished yet, Bella."

"Okay, you normally drive a Ford F150."

"And you're missing another." Jasper looked so happy. He tilted his head to the side, watching me trying to avoiding the beautiful cherry car in the corner.

"I'm trying to avoid that one," I admitted.

"Why?" He laughed, his accent pronounced with that question.

"Because I am so in love with it," I admitted, making him laugh a hearty laugh.

"Come on, what is it?"

"Okay, it's a cherry colored Dodge Charger," I said quickly.

"Feel better?" he asked as I let out the breath I was holding.

"So much."

He laughed and then asked, pointing at the silver SUV. "And this one?"

I knew these cars. "Oh, that's a Honda CRV. These are all so beautiful!"

"Thank you," Jasper said as he leaned on the SUV. "I like yours too. It looks comfy."

"Mine?" I chuckled. "Jasper, my car was stolen. What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your new car," he said, nodding toward the Honda CRV with a smirk on his face.

"You want me to drive it?" I asked, incredulously.

"Of course! I wouldn't have bought it for you today if I hadn't."

"But you went back to work." I tried to reason, dumbfounded by his surprise.

"Not really," he said. "I went back to my car dealer."

"You didn't go to work at all today?" I couldn't seem to get off the fact that he didn't go back to work. It's like my brain was stuck on stupid.

"Nope, I just called Emmett and let him know where I was," he replied.

"How did you get it in the garage without me hearing?"

"I guess you must've been upstairs,' he said.

I couldn't contain my excitement and I squeaked, "Thank you!" and jumped on him.

Jasper held me close while I squealed until I cried. "Thank you so, so much!" I kissed both his cheeks and fought to breathe as his intoxicating scent filled my lungs. But I didn't care I wanted to hold him forever.

I was so happy.

"I'm sorry," I whispered when I was calm enough to come to my senses and pull away. Jasper looked sad, but he covered it. "I loved this, but I shouldn't have jumped you like that."

"No, I'm sorry," he said, backing off. "I should have control myself too."

"What do you mean, 'control yourself', I was the one freaking out and jumping on you."

Jasper looked at me. His eyes held such determination. He drew close and brought his hands up, caressing my cheeks. He looked deep into my eyes, his gaze rendering me motionless as he bent down and kissed both of my cheeks, and then whispered in my ear, "What I did, I didn't just do it because I want you here to work, I want you close to me, Bella." He looked up into my eyes then. "I want you more than I should."

"I'm not ready."

"I know, I'll wait," he replied, making my heart swell with happiness.

We left the garage behind, and Jasper invited me to watch a movie with him before bed.

I jumped through most of "Nightmare on Elm Street" but Jasper was there to hold my hand through it. He was a horror flick fan and hardly anything scared him.

I was out of my seat and running for the stairs, yelling good night over my shoulder before the credits started to roll up the screen. And he laughed the whole way.

After I grabbed a shower and threw on my pajamas while trying to not think about Freddy Kruger, my mind went to Jasper and what he admitted.

Jasper liked me the way I liked him. I wasn't alone in this. There was something there and soon, we wouldn't be able to fight it anymore.

In a way, I was comforted by that. I was finally doing something for me. I had feelings for Jasper. They weren't forced on me and I wasn't being told what to do. I was experiencing this for myself.

I crawled into bed, forgot all about the movie, and kept my mind on Jasper's smiling face as my head hit the pillow.

_Someone was in my bed. Their hands kept going up and down my sides. And every time I tried to move away, they got closer. _

_Every time I tried to break free or shake their hands away, they held on tighter. _

"_Stop it," I pleaded, but to no avail. Whoever it was, just kept touching me._

_My breath hitched when they started to move lower and lower until I was fighting to keep them out of my underwear. _

"_Stop it!" I shouted, but still, no answer. Instead, the hands grew more aggressive as my breath grew more ragged. _

_The person dragged me onto my back and my scream was swallowed by my shock when James jumped on top of me. _

"_Hello, Marie." He sneered. "I've missed you so much, but don't worry, we'll be together again, and then we'll never be apart. It's you and me forever, Marie. Now, let's make love."_

"Noooooo!"

"Bella, Bella, Bella, Stop! Stop fighting me and open your eyes, Bella!"

_Jasper._

My eyes popped open and I burst into tears as he gathered me up into his arms. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I cried as I hugged him to me. "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright. You're alright now," he whispered, kissing my forehead and I relaxed into his touch.

We never moved from our position until I calmed down. He waited until I caught my breath, and even checking my pulse before going to get me a glass of water.

When he got back, I tried to apologize again for waking him up but he dismissed it, saying that it was me who mattered at the moment.

"Do you have any appointments with Esme coming up soon?" he asked.

"Yeah, tomorrow," I said.

"Well, that's good. Now, try and get some sleep for me, okay?"

"Okay."

I thought Jasper would leave after I eased back against the pillows, but he didn't. Instead, he walked over to the love seat in the corner, much to my astonishment, and took a seat.

"Go to sleep, Bella," he said as I looked at him in awe. "I'll be right here when you wake up."


	15. Journal

_**AN: Bella, living..**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter fourteen: Journal<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, January, 2011 <strong>_

"If I drive you to work, how will you get home?"

"Emmett," Jasper smiled, climbing out of my car. I took a minute to admire him as he stood there, the morning sun making him look like an angel. "Now, do you remember what I said?"

"Yes, I remember how to get to Esme's office and after sightseeing, I'll go straight home," I said, distracting myself from my admiration, and smiling at the fact that I considered Whitlock Ranch my home.

Jasper was about to say something else, but I cut him off, "And I'll call you if I can't remember my way around or find my way back to the practice and you'll take me."

"Good," he smiled triumphantly. "Later then, darlin'."

"Bye, Jasper." I watched as he walked into his practice before putting the car in gear and driving off.

Today was another appointment with Esme, and I wanted to talk. I wanted to share my growing feelings for Jasper. I wanted to talk about my nightmare and what it meant. I wanted to learn. And Esme was my window to that.

After our session, I was going to head around Henderson to get to know it.

Jasper was in agreement with it since I told him my idea this morning. He had been so attentive since I woke up. I felt so loved. He even made breakfast and he had to spend his time coaxing me through most of it, because I broke down when I met him in the kitchen.

But Jasper didn't mind. He just smiled and we ate together until he took a call.

When he mouthed, 'Peter' and then handed me the phone, before going to get me a glass of orange juice, I felt happy. I liked talking to Peter.

"Hello?"

_"Hey there, Little Bit. You miss me?"_ Peter's voice made me smile.

"Yes, Peter, I miss you." My stomach grumbled at the sight of my pancakes and fresh fruits so I took a bite.

_"I know you do. I can just feel it,"_ he said. _"Besides, I left you there with that bonehead so I'm sure you must miss me."_

Jasper placed my glass of orange juice in front of me and dropped a vitamin in my outstretched hand. "Yes, Peter, I miss you very much. Though, I don't think Jasper is a bonehead." Without looking up, Jasper stuck his middle finger out and I told Peter, "He's giving you the finger."

Peter laughed. _"Wait until I get back there, I'll deal with him, but how about you? You like your new spot over at Jasper's?"_

"Oh my God, does everybody know?"

_"Yep."_

"Okay." I laughed. "I love it very much."

_"That's good."_

"How's Char?"

_"She's great,"_ he said in a cheery voice. _"Things are crazy but I love having her around."_ Peter and Char moved in together after the holidays. _"That girl is...damn, Little Bit, she's everything I ever wanted."_

"Sounds great."

_"My family loves her. Momma thinks she's a doll. My sisters are constantly calling her to go shopping when she isn't working, and Dad loves that she keeps me in line. What about you?"_

I took a bite of my breakfast before answering. "I love that she doesn't take your shit." Since Christmas, I was learning every day how much of a prankster Peter could be. However, I was also learning that he was one of the nicest people I'd ever met.

_"Whoo! No, she does not."_ He laughed. _"Whew, damn, she just walked in my office. Pencil skirt, Little Bit, pencil skirt. This girl is trying to kill me."_

I laughed. "Tell her I said hi."

_"Tell her yourself. Hold on."_

I took another bite while Jasper sat back watching me. It was so weird to feel this comfortable under his gaze. Char came on the line and it sounded like she slapped Peter or something before she said, _"Get away from me, I want to talk to Bella. Hi, Bella!"_

"Hi, Charlotte, how are you?"

_"I'm great! You? Are you alright, honey? Do you like the room?"_

_Here we go again_. "Yep, I love it."

_"That's great! Rose and I helped Jasper pick out the color scheme so I was a little nervous about that. I'm so happy you like it."_

"I really do."

_"So, listen, I don't know how Peter is in here chatting his face off, and he has to be in a meeting in two minutes, but we all talk soon, and have fun, alright?"_

"I will."

_"Good. Later, honey."_

"Later." We ended the call and then I got back to my breakfast since Jasper was finished with his.

Following Jasper's instructions, I made it to Esme's office in no time. But before getting out of the car, I sat there and psyched myself up. I had to remind myself that I wanted this. I needed this help. Esme could help me understand everything that was going on inside my head and maybe even what was happening in my heart.

I gripped the steering wheel tightly as images of James choking me flooded my mind until I couldn't breathe. I start to hyperventilate, and the world felt like it was closing in on me.

But when I thought about Jasper, waking me up, helping me relax, and then staying with me, it brought me back. I had someone in my corner. It was just a nightmare and even though it felt real, it wasn't.

Jasper was the one who was real. He was the one who was here, protecting me. He and his family had taken me in, and were helping me.

James was the terrible fantasy. He was nothing but a figment of my imagination at the moment and I would love to keep him that way.

I don't want to face him without first, building my bravado.

When I finally found the strength to, I climbed out of the car, grabbed my bag and jacket-not bothering to throw it on, and made my way into the building.

Mrs. Cope and I talked a little as I waited for the patient before to finish up their session. The patient was taking a while so I decided to read a magazine next, but my anxiety was building. I changed seats, and even sat there, staring at the door willing the person on the other end with her to stop talking and get out. I was digging my toes into my boots like a kid and biting my bottom lip while I waited impatiently.

I loved what I had on today. It was my black and blue boots and I paired that with my skinny jeans and a long sleeved shirt. The weather was unpredictable and Jasper was worried about me catching something. My health wasn't where he wanted it yet and he wasn't taking any chances.

He has drastically changed my life.

I once had a man in my life that wanted to do nothing but hurt me for his own sick pleasure and now, I have met someone who wanted to do nothing but protect and care for me.

Jasper was heaven sent.

Esme's office door opened and she and the woman walked out. Esme smiled at me and then spoke with the woman.

When the lady left, Esme turned her attention to me. "Hello, Bella, how are you?"

"I'm hanging in there," I said honestly.

"That's good," Esme beamed. "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, but we can begin now."

I got up and followed her into her office.

Taking a seat on the sofa, I got comfortable while Esme took a seat in one of the chairs before me.

We didn't talk for a while. She was allowing me my space and letting me know that I could begin in my own time.

"I really like your office." Esme smiled. I know I was chickening out but I wanted a nudge. Maybe because of the wait, my nerves have gotten the best of me and now I was scared to talk.

"Nice boots," she complimented. _Thank you, Esme!_ "Where did you get them?"

"They were a gift from Rose."

"Oh, for Christmas?"

"No. When I first moved in?" It came out like a question. "That's what I'd call it, right?"

"It sounds like that to me," she said, opening up with her writing pad, with her pen, perched and set to write.

"Nice shoes," I commented, looking down at her black Manolo Blanik heels.

"Thank you," she said, twisting her ankle as she admired them herself. "I love these. Carlisle got them for me; something about loving seeing me in them."

"He's really nice."

"He is," she said, ducking her head with a small smile. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me."

"That's good." I tore my eyes from hers as tears began to fill them.

"Bella?"

I couldn't answer. Loud sobs erupted from my mouth and I lost it. The moments of my life were racing through my mind. My past was on the forefront of my mind. I was swimming in a sea of despair and pain.

"Bella?" Esme tried. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Meeting her eyes, I tried to speak but it seemed impossible as I was fighting to breathe. Esme sprang up and came over to me.

"Bella, I'm going to invade your space," she said sternly, sitting down beside me on the sofa while I continued to cry and pulling me in her arms.

I held on to Esme for dear life. I was drowning and she was pulling me back. It was everything. It was all the pain. It was my mother quarreling with me to accept James' advances. It was Garrett determined that I shouldn't listen to my mother and that James looked like a bad guy. It was James abusing me in any way he saw fit.

It was everything.

When we parted Esme's blouse was soaked, and I was profusely apologizing.

"Don't worry about it," she said calmly, getting up and going back to her seat across from me. She handed me a box of tissues and I took a few, wiping my tears away. She waited until I could breathe and then she commented, "My only concern, Bella, is what brought on that reaction?"

When I couldn't answer, she went on, "Bella, it is okay to feel. To cry or get angry is a natural part of us that should not be subdued unless necessary."

"I want to feel what he feels," I told her, thinking about Jasper. "I mean, I do, feel it."

"Are we talking about Jasper?"

"Yes."

"And what do you feel?"

"Something I have only had a glimpse at once."

"What was that?" Esme asked.

"What love was supposed to look like, but it's different with Jasper."

"How so?"

"I know what I'm feeling for him," I told her. It was the truth. I was falling for Jasper. And I didn't want to stop myself.

"And what's that?" Esme inquired.

"Love, like, but I'm scared," I confessed.

"Why?" Esme questioned.

"Because what if, he becomes like…what if…in the future…he starts to act like James?"

"Why would you think that?"

"You think I'm crazy," I was quick to say. "I know he's your nephew and I'm sorry to offend you."

"No, you didn't, Bella," Esme said. "These sessions are about you and you alone. If you would like to include someone else, then fine. Then it will be about theme also. But this is all about Bella and regaining control over her life."

"You're not offended?" I was scared she would be.

"No," Esme smiled. "I am not offended. It is okay to fear that. I understand. Trust is a very hard concept, especially for you. I cannot preach to you that Jasper is different. You will have to experience it."

"I need you to start it," I demanded. "I need you to tell me that he's different and then I'll go from there."

"Jasper is one of the kindest men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing or being related to," Esme said without effort. "His love knows no bounds."

"Thank you."

"Why did you cry?"

"I remembered my past," I said. "What it felt like to be pulled in a million and one directions and how I lost myself in the process. I couldn't think. I was just…there."

"Then let's help regain yourself, shall we?" Esme said sincerely.

"Okay."

"Let's start with a fear," she said.

"The best way to get over it is to confront it," I said, attempting to laugh.

"Something like that," Esme chuckled.

"Alright."

"Why do you fear being with Jasper?"

"Because it's dangerous for him to be close to me," I said.

"Why?"

"James will kill me when he finds me and if he gets to Jasper first, he'll kill him to teach me a lesson."

"You really think he would do that?" Esme needed to understand the monster I was escaping.

"You don't defy James. You don't humiliate him. And right now, I've done the worst, I have done it all. I ran away. He's ashamed and angry. He has to make me pay."

"So why take the risk?"

"I had to."

"Why?" Esme insisted.

"Because I want to live; I didn't want to die there. Not like that."

Esme smiled. "Good. That's the answer, and I want you to remember that. You made a decision to get up and get your life back. So what we're going to do is help you fight for it. Yes, James is a horrible man, but he will not defeat you this time. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," I whispered, more tears flowing down my face.

"Good. Now as for Jasper, I don't see anything wrong with being friends, but it should be done _only_ on your time and how you want," she said. "Bella, if you don't like something, let your voice be heard. You are here. You are alive and well. Speak up. Don't be afraid."

"Yes," I sobbed.

"Now, let's go back. Remember, we can only heal ourselves by fixing the past. Tell me something, something you never thought you could say."

"James is deceiving," I said off the top of my head.

"How so?"

Don't be afraid, Bella. "After James met me, he got obsessed. He would send me things and I sent them back, while my mom would argue with me. But I didn't care. I didn't want him. I had this friend, he…"

"What's his name?" Esme had no idea how much it hurt to say it.

"Garrett," I whispered and then cried.

"I'm sorry," Esme said. She had heard the name over Christmas.

Yeah, he was great," I said. "Garrett was the one I was talking about when I said what love was supposed to be like."

"Garrett cared for you?" Esme said it like a question, but I knew she understood.

"Yes. And I, for him, deeply."

"How did you meet?"

I smiled at the memory. "In dance class. He took it as a bet."

More tears poured, and Esme tried to lighten the mood. "Was he a good dancer?"

"Yes," I said, laughing at the memory of Garrett and me practicing together. "He was a footballer, and he got injured, but instead of moping around, he and his teammate got drunk one night and he dared Garrett to try out for my class and Garrett got in. I once asked him why he stayed because it was just a bet." My eyes pooled with more tears as I remembered his answer. "_Because you walked in." _

"So a friendship struck up between the both of you," she stated.

"Yes." I cried.

She sat back, looking at me for a while before she finally asked, "And when James found out?"

"The friend you spoke about at Christmas, Garrett, Bella, how did he die?"

My mind screamed at me not to tell her but my heart trumped it and I found my voice, "I think James killed him."

Esme didn't flinch. She was unmoved and a part of me was glad for that. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked. "Exactly what killed Garrett?"

"They said he died from an overdose," I told her. "Authorities ruled it a suicide and thought he was just another depressed kid, but he wasn't."

"Bella, did Garrett ever return to football?" I didn't like the sound of the question, but I had to answer to see where she was heading.

"Yes, but what does that have to do with his death?" I asked her as she handed me another tissue.

"Well, Bella, it is implied that sometimes these guys take things," she said. "Are you sure Garrett wasn't taking anything?"

"He wasn't. James killed him," I sobbed. I was getting a little angry at her implications. I would not allow anyone to blame him for my mistakes.

"How can you be sure?" she persisted as my anger rose.

"Because he did!" I shouted. "College was over! We had graduated! Garrett, he hated meds. He would fight me tooth and nail if I wanted him to take a pill for a headache. He always said, I could just wait it out and it will go away. Why would someone who hated medication die from an overdose?"

"That is a very good point and be reminded that I will not share this with anyone without your say-so." It was comforting to hear that and I nodded. "Now, how did you know it was James? Did he say so?"

"He implied it, but never said it out loud," I told her. "But, Vicky, she confessed it while James was hurting me."

"I'm glad you did that. Got mad, I mean. How do you feel?"

At first, I wanted to ask her what the fuck she was talking about, but then I felt it. I felt...good. I felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. "I feel...good."

"That's good. But now, we're going in again, okay?"

I sighed. "Okay."

"Victoria." I cringed at the name. "I want to know exactly who she is. Anything you can tell about her would be good."

I closed my eyes a little. My head felt heavy so I lay down. I opened my eyes to the ceiling and said, "Victoria's mom married James's dad. High society thing, I guess. I don't know, but the marriage didn't last. However, for some reason, Victoria and James stayed close."

"Even though they were no longer stepsiblings, they maintained a close friendship," Esme said.

"Yes, it looked like that, at first," I said.

"And then?"

"And then," I chuckled. "One day, James was home. Victoria came over. She had been doing that a lot lately. She'd watch me. It was unnerving and I tried to ignore her and go about my chores, but it didn't stop her. She would do things."

"Such as?"

"She would make a mess and blame me," I chuckled at the memory. "But on that day, things changed. James found me in the bedroom, in the closet, putting away his freshly ironed clothes. He dragged me out and threw me down on the bed. I knew what he wanted, so I laid still. I was now used to this. However, when..." I fought the bile in my throat to say it, and Esme must've picked up on it.

"It's okay, Bella, you don't have to say it, if you don't want to," Esme said, reassuring me that I don't have to use the exact words to describe my sexual abuse.

"Okay, so he...started and then Victoria walked in. I was mortified thinking that his...whatever she was, just walked in the room and wouldn't leave. I thought he would stop, but he didn't, and she wouldn't go. She just stayed there, and watched." I cried.

"What happened after that?"

"It escalated and the next time she joined in," I told Esme then broke down again.

"I'm very sorry, Bella." The sympathy in Esme's voice made me cry a little more. I didn't even know I had tears left. "Did it happen a lot?"

"No."

"So these two continued a more intimate relationship than their divorced parents realized, but it was something you had to unfortunately, participate in and for that I am very sorry," Esme said. "However, Bella, as hard as it is to imagine. You did the right thing."

"In allowing them to do...that?"

She nodded and then said, "Let me explain. At first, you weren't as brave as you became the night you left so you were basically on autopilot. When it happened, in your mind, you weren't there, yes?"

"Yes."

"What were you thinking of?"

"I would think about other things like menus and recipes I wanted to try or articles I read in magazines when I was alone or even just making patterns on the ceiling when I could see it."

"Exactly. So you blocked your mind. Bella, did you even consider leaving then?" Esme asked.

"No," I said quickly. "He warned me, and I believed him. If I left, they would find me."

"So why go now?" she asked with a smile.

"I had to. I was tired of them. James disgusted me. Victoria disgusted me. My life wasn't supposed to be that way. I was supposed to be happy and living out there in the world while doing everything I wanted to do. So when Phil saw me, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I let it out. I let it all out," I told her.

"And now, you're here," Esme said. "Bella, you decided that you wanted a change. You were tired of their silly and dangerous games so you fought. Within your mind, you fought them every step of the way. That is good. That is brave. You are a very brave person, and look where that's gotten you? Away from them."

"So I did the right thing?"

"You did the very best thing, and you did it for you," she smiled.

We sat there in silence for a bit while Esme allowed me the time to think. "I want you to do something for me."

"What?"

"You know sometimes these sessions will come with assignments and this is your first," Esme explained.

"Okay, what will I be doing?"

"You will be keeping a journal," Esme said. "Now, you have nightmares and I suspect they surround James." I nodded. "Okay, so I need you to choose whatever you would like and I need you to write everything you're feeling. Whether happy or sad or angry. Write. We have to get these feelings documented."

"I think I have panic attacks," I confessed. "Maybe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"Have you been looking into it?"

"I diagnosed myself long ago."

Esme chuckled. "Well, you happen to be right and all the more reason for the journal. We have to go over whatever you want to share with me, and see how best to do this."

"Thank you," I said, grateful for Esme in my life right now.

"You're welcome, Bella."

Our session ended with her giving me another appointment date and telling that everything will be okay. I even got a hug and I didn't flinch.

**~~abt~~**

Driving around was beneficial for me. I got to clear my head. The people around here were so friendly and I got to see quite a bit. I only got lost once, and by the time I panicked, the phone I had initially refused to take from Jasper this morning, started to ring.

Pulling over, I answered, "Hello?"

"Bella?" His smooth voice instantly relaxed me as he asked, "Hey, are you alright?"

His deep accent was killing me. "I'm fine."

"Is your session over?"

"Yeah, and I'm lost."

"Lost?!" The shout made me jump, but I wasn't scared. Instead, I was relieved that he cared. "Tell me where you are, and I'll come and get you."

"No, Jasper," I pleaded. "You're at work and I've got to learn. Just tell me how to get out of here. Give me instructions." There was a long pause and I even had to ask if he was still there. He answered, but mumbled that he still wanted to come and get me, before he gave up and helped guide me back onto Main Street. I put the cell phone on speaker and then stayed on the line with Jasper until I got back to the ranch because he refused to hang up until he knew I was safely home.

His care made me smile as I told him goodbye and hung up when I got through the front door.

Hours later, after work, he came barging in wanting to know everything.

"How did you get lost?" he asked. "Are you okay? Did anyone bother you? Let me know who did and I swear I'll…"

"I'm fine!" I smiled. "I guess I took a wrong turn and I was actually glad you called because I was about to call you for help."

"That's good," Jasper said as he threw himself down at the dinner table. He took off his boots and relaxed back in his seat. He looked so worried and I watched as he ran his hand over his face, closing his eyes for a minute.

When he opened them, and they met mine, I had to turn away in order to hide my blush. Esme had said I should write, and I think I would have to do just that later on. I had to write the feelings I had for Jasper and think of the best way to approach them.

With my decision made, I placed the dinner I had prepared before him. "I want to be more too." Jasper stopped eating, and stared me. "But you've got hang in there. I'm messed up and I want to be good for you. It won't be easy. I've had a hard life, and there will be times when I panic, because I fear for you. I know James and he'll kill us if he finds us."

"I won't let him hurt you," Jasper said, taking my hand.

"I won't let him hurt _you_, Jasper." I got up and kissed his forehead and walked away.

I didn't spend any time with Jasper tonight. I couldn't. I wanted to think. And he didn't bother me. He seemed to understand. Esme said I should write and as I lay in bed staring up at my ceiling, I found the perfect way.

My laptop.

I got up and grabbed it off of my desk. I sat back on my bed with it and opened up a page. I smiled as Garrett's and then Jasper's smile flashed across my mind.

_January, 2011 _

_My name is Bella Swan and for the first time in years, I'm living. I have found a family and I've gained new friends. But before I can talk about anyone else or Jasper, this is where it all began…_


	16. Bella's Future Marie's Past

_**AN: Jasper learns a shocking truth and James wants back Marie.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter fifteen: Bella's Future Marie's Past<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Jasper, January, 2011... <strong>_

"Sir, Garrett Meyers was James Carter's cousin," Jenks said.

"Go on."

"Well, Sir, Garrett's mother was a member of the Carter family who left them and was disowned."

"So do you think Garrett was aware of his heritage?" Mom asked. I had two way the call. She needed to know this.

"I think he was from Mr. Whitlock had shared," Jenks said. I had shared my suspicion with them that perhaps Garrett knew that James was his cousin and he didn't want Bella near the bastard. Mom and Jenks had agreed.

"What about Garrett's death?" I know that had to be James' doing somehow. It was no suicide. He wanted Bella and Garrett was in the way. Bella had said earlier tonight that James would kill me if he got his hands on me. Why not do the same to Garrett?

"As you suspected, Mr. Whitlock," Jenks confirmed. "Garrett's death was made to look like a suicide."

"Were there people paid off?" I asked.

"Yes, Sir, at least two police officers and a morgue assistant," Jenks said.

"Oh shit," Mom said.

"This is fucked, Mom." But I wouldn't be allowing them to get their sick hands on Bella. I would protect her.

"It really is, Son," Mom sighed.

"What else, Jenks?"

"Ms. Bella's mother is very persistent, but Mr. Swan is holding his ground. I also believe that James has gotten a PI, but I have debunked any lead he could come across."

"That's good," I said. "Keep up the good work, and keep us posted."

"Yes, Sir." We disconnected with Jenks.

"Mom, I'm coming over."

"Okay."

Bella had left me at dinner after she confessed to wanting to be with me. It lifted my heart to hear her say that, but it crushed me to think that she thought of herself as some sort of curse. She thought that me being with her would bring me nothing but pain. While I believed the opposite. Bella was becoming so much. She meant so much. Everyone around me could see it and I could feel it in every breath I took.

I was falling in love with Bella Swan. And James wanted to take her away, hurt her and probably kill her, because his sick, pathetic ass thought of Bella or Marie as property.

Over my dead body. Bella would stay here forever if I could convince her to. I never wanted her to fear anything ever again.

I went over to the main house. Mom was waiting in her office with a bottle of Jack and two glasses. She poured me a glass and handed it to me when I walked in.

"What the fuck is going on, Jasper?" She was very frustrated. Mom was usually abolishing me for cursing. "What kind of man is this…James? What a sick bastard!"

"I know, it's why I have keep Bella safe, no matter what, he can't get his hands on her." I took a sip of my Jack, letting it warm and relax me all in the same instant.

Mom took a long, hard look at me. Her eyes gleamed with something. A determination…since that day. "We can't let him go."

I met her cold gaze with one of my own. "I never planned to."

"He can never be allowed to hurt Bella again, Jasper." I knew what Mom meant and I was more than ready to agree.

"By the time we're through, Bella will never have to worry about any of those bastards again."

"Good." Mom polished off her glass of Jack and poured herself another.

We had to do what was necessary. And what was necessary involved James never bothering Bella again.

By the time I left Mom and went back home, I had a good, strong buzz going. I went upstairs and noticed that Bella's light was off. She must be asleep. I hoped she didn't have a nightmare tonight because I really craved a peaceful night right now.

I waltzed in my room, toed off my boots and threw myself down on the bed. I closed my eyes and smiled at the images of a smiling Bella dancing behind my closed lids. She wanted me. She admitted it but begged me to wait.

I would wait forever for her.

The revelation about Garrett bothered me because I wanted to tell her. Bella would not be kept in the dark around me. She needed to know the whole truth if she didn't already.

But in the mean time, I wanted to put her at ease. And the surprise I had, I hoped it would just that.

Bella needed a break.

_**James, January, 2011...**_

"Oh please…don't tell me you're still moping over your little plaything," Vicky sneered as she pushed me off of her to get up. She threw on her little dress, and huffed. "Would you hurry up and find that bitch, punish her ass, and get back to being you? This is pathetic!"

Vicky was pissed off because of my lack of participation for a better sense of the word. I just wasn't in the mood. I wanted to find Marie and making her see what crossing me, caused. I could practically taste her screams and giggle at her silly little pleas.

Marie was the perfect little slave. She acted like she didn't like the things we had done, but I knew the truth. I knew the little minx I was married to. She loved every second of it.

Vicky's annoying voice was getting on my last nerve. She was good for a couple of things, mostly sucking my cock, and since she wasn't at the moment. I wanted her to shut the fuck up. She giggled and it grated my brain.

That was what I loved about Marie. She knew when to speak and when to shut up! I had tried her well.

But Vicky needed more initiative. If only I could control her enough to train her the way I had Marie. Things would be perfect.

"You know what I think is?"

I glanced at her from my place on the bed. "No," I sneered. "What?"

She laughed manically. "You can't stand the fact that the little bitch outsmarted you. It's killing you!"

I was off the bed in no time, and had her by her throat, slamming her into the wall beside the closet. "That's it. That's my James." She reached down and grabbed my length, pumping it. I smacked her hand away.

"Don't!" I growled. I wanted my Marie's hot little mouth wrapped around my cock while I choked her.

"Awww, poor baby," Vicky teased, stroking me still as she struggled to breathe. "You want your little Bella!"

I squeezed her neck harder. "Don't call her that!"

Vicky cackled. "Bella! Bella! Bella!" She went on as she teased me.

"I hate that name," I said, letting her go. "A plain girl like Marie should have a normal name. Not that exotic crap. _Isabella!_ Disgusting."

"You're such a control freak," Vicky commented as she undressed.

When her panties fell, she arched an eyebrow at me in challenge. "Now come over here and control me."

"I'll teach you not to cross me."

**~~abt~~**

While Vicky slept, I went downstairs for a drink of water. The place disgusted me. It was cleaned by the maid I'd gotten, but it was nowhere near the work Marie would've done. I'd now been searching for Marie through her mother. Renee thought I was just bringing Marie home, but I wouldn't do so without teaching her a valuable lesson first.

My cousin, Garrett, had learned that lesson. He paid dearly for trying to take Marie away from me. Initially, I was angry when Vicky told her and I wanted to wring her neck for blabbing, but seeing them together in the throes of passion erased all thought of teaching Vicky a lesson from my mind.

They were always so beautiful together, and I always loved how shy Marie acted, putting on a little show for me. She was always cowering away, crying, pretending to not like it, but I knew better. Marie loved every second of what we did together. She was good, very good, and all mine. No one else would have my Marie. Just the thought of another man touching her without my permission sickened me.

_Nothing happened without my permission._

Even that fun little afternoon after Felix and I had played a round of golf didn't happen without my say-so. Again, Marie was the belle of the ball that whole afternoon. She pleased us to no end then putting her little show of playing scared the rest of the night. It stunned me she carried on with her little game for a week straight. However, that pregnancy was her fault, and we had to get rid of it.

I had told Marie time and time again, I hated kids, and wanted nothing to do with them. So a baby was the last thing I wanted in my house. The abortion was easy. Though, Marie attempted to argue with me about it. However, a quick lesson in manners nipped that in the bug.

Marie was amazing in the bedroom –something I couldn't get over – even if Vicky was good, Marie was far better. Hell, I had been the one to take her virginity. I was her first. No one could take that prize but me. How she obeyed me, how she laid where I wanted her to and how she remained quiet. It was all a fantastic little show.

However, there were times when Marie would act out and needed to be put in her place; such as the gala in November last year, when she wore that sinfully short dress.

Vicky had gotten the dress as I thought it would be perfect for my little wife and I was right, but Marie decided that she needed to take things one step further by teasing me. All night, she flirted with the men at the party, and there was only so much a man could take. As I sipped my water, I smirked, remembering how I dragged my little temptress from the party, taking her back here. That night, I taught her a lesson before taking her.

My cock hardened at the thought of her tight pussy wrapped around me. The way she felt in my arms as I spilled into her. Amazing. That night, I took out my aggravation on her knowing she could take it as I was certain she understood why the lesson was needed.

Things, of course, went back to normal as December rolled in and I welcomed the nearing of the end of yet another year with my perfect Marie. However, Marie had other plans.

When I woke that morning to an empty house, I nearly had a heart attack.

At first, I thought nothing of the silence. I thought Marie was downstairs preparing my breakfast. However, after going through my morning routine and making my way down there, I was in for a rude awakening. She was gone. I walked around, searching, screaming her name, but it was in vain.

She was gone. I was devastated.

I called Vicky, my dad, her mother and my best friend, Felix. Everyone was in outrage. How dare she do this to me? Embarrass me like this?

Renee was very apologetic for her daughter's betrayal and immediately thought I should go find her. So I used some of my family's contacts, but nothing. They searched and searched. Nothing. No paper trail. It was like she vanished into thin air.

I took a couple days off from the hospital, I had to figure this out. But then, I went back because I couldn't let anyone know something was wrong. Father couldn't know that I couldn't handle Marie.

When he found out about her disappearance, he was outraged and called me an idiot.

That further sent me into a madden frenzy to find Marie and make her pay for hurting me like this. Didn't she love me the way I loved her?

How dare she do this to me?! I would kill her!

When I found her, I was going to teach her a lesson she will never forget. It was all I thought about.

Father calmed down enough to be on my side. He was using his contacts to look for Marie. But so far, nothing. But, we wouldn't give up. He agreed with me that she needed a lesson.

Everything I learned about women, came from my father. He thought they were the weaker sex and if rules and regulations were not set, they had the tendency to get out of control. He used some of the same method I used on Marie, on my mother and they had a great marriage right up until her passing when I was younger. I missed her, but in a way, her death became a blessing when my dad remarried and I met his new wife's daughter, Victoria. Even though his marriage did not last, the bond Vicky and I shared would not be broken. At least not by anyone but me.

Vicky was something else. However, not wife material as she herself has admitted. Marie, on the other hand, was perfect. She reminded me so much of my mother with her kind disposition. Although, my mother would have never ran away from Father and embarrass him like this.

I smashed the glass against the wall as I thought of Marie's betrayal.

I had done everything for her. I'd taken her and perfected her. Her weight was always an issue so I took up her diet on my own, bringing her down to a more desirable figure. Now, after everything, she broke my heart by running off? Perhaps it was to be with another man. Maybe Marie had been cheating on me all this time! Maybe Garrett was just a ploy for the real one.

They are both dead and they don't even know it yet. I'll rip them both apart with my bare hands.

Vicky's arms wrapped around my waist as I stood there in my kitchen, lost in thought.

"We'll find her," she whispered with a soft kiss, "And when we do…"

"It'll be a lesson she never forgets."


	17. Move Along

_**AN: Bella takes a step forward. Jasper lets Alice understand her place in his life.**_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter sixteen: Move Along<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, January, 2011... <strong>_

_January, 2011…_

_Jasper really doesn't see his beauty. Or he does, but it doesn't matter. It's almost the end of January and my feelings for him are getting stronger with each day that passes. _

_I don't have to keep it a secret. We have already said what we felt. We want…more. _

_But Jasper wasn't making things easy for me. _

_Whenever he's here, everything about him disarms me. His smile, his laugh, the way he gives me those long stares that makes my insides do flip flops. The way he makes my knees buckle when he's near, it's all maddening. _

_But I affect him too. When I bite my bottom lip, or when I smile, Jasper stutters and even occasionally blushes. _

_We both have a profound effect on each other. _

_I love watching Jasper in action. As a boss, he's stern and commanding. It's like watching a general dictate to his troops. Jasper is always so in control yet he's also kindhearted, understanding and charismatic._

_So far, living with him has been a great experience. I find so much peace here._

_When my chores are done, I can always find a book either from his small library or the larger one in the main house, find a corner and read. No one disturbs me. No one makes crazed demands of me. Life is just...easy. Life is good. _

"Bella!" Jasper called up to me.

"Yeah?"

"Come on down here for a minute, darlin'." He loved to call me that now. He used it more than my name.

I saved my entry and logged off, threw on my boots and went downstairs to him.

"What's up, Cowboy?" Since he had gotten in the habit of calling me something, I came up with a name for him. And he loved it.

Jasper looked so good today, standing there in his Wranglers, a plaid shirt, his brown cowboy boots and a gray Stetson. I swear he had a cowboy hat in every color.

"Let's go ridin'," he smiled.

"What?" I laughed. "I have a session with your aunt today."

"And we can go where I want to take you, and still be back in time for that,' Jasper countered.

_Smart ass! _

"I don't think I should," I pouted, biting my lip. I really wanted to talk to Esme today.

Last night, I dreamt about Jasper and it wasn't a scary dream. It was actually very fulfilling. Dream Jasper did things to me I didn't know existed.

Just standing here now, thinking about it, made me wet. Jasper wasn't aware of the growing weakness I was getting from being around him. It was getting hard to fight.

He groaned, staring at my lip. "Come on, darlin'…" he stepped up the stairs, drawing close to me. His cool breath was on my face and I was putty in his hands. He wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me close while I fought to breathe. He was intoxicating. "…you know you want to. I swear I'll have you back in no time."

We had limited our touches to simple lacing of our fingers or his arm over my shoulder, or Jasper's favorite, a kiss of my forehead. But the other night, it grew to more when he kissed my neck. I froze, not in fear, but in desire.

He kissed my forehead and then groaned as he scraped his mouth along my jaw down to my neck and kissing it once, while I shuddered, holding onto his waist for support. "Okay."

Suddenly, he jumped away. "Good!"

Did I mention Jasper loved to play?

"You did that on purpose," I said, running after him out the door after grabbing my jacket.

"Yes," he admitted, quickly kissing my cheek and jumping away when I moved to smack his shoulder. I loved how playful he made me feel. "And I got what I wanted." He drew close and pulled me to him, kissing my forehead and staring at me with those sparkling orbs.

"What's that?" I wrapped my hands around his neck as we stopped on our way to the stables.

"You on a horse," he smiled.

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Carefully, darlin', mind how you tease me."

I loved when he dropped those hints of things heating up between us. I felt wanted and desired when he did it.

"Maybe I like teasing," I countered and he groaned, letting me go.

I laughed all the way to the stables.

I watched as he got our horses ready. Jasper had presented me with a gift a few days ago. Mystery. She was so beautiful.

Sam and Maria gave me a few lessons and Jasper took over when he had the time.

Between the three of them, it was like I had never stopped riding. I loved my horse. She was like a kindred spirit. To me, she was just a girl hiding in plain sight, t like me. And she had a fire dancing on the surface too, just like me. I loved her.

Jasper's firm chest, arms and ass were teasing me to no end. His body was my worst enemy. My kryptonite. All I thought about was it and what it looked like without a stitch of clothes on. Whenever I got the chance to see him do anything on the ranch.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a quizzical brow and a smirk as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Y-y-eah!" I said quickly and he laughed.

"Alright then, come on, let's head out."

I got on Mystery's back without Jasper's help and he applauded me. We led the horses out and when we got on the field, Jasper said, "We're just going to trot around a bit."

"Okay," I answered though I had no intention of simply trotting around today. The pasture was vast and I wanted to see what Mystery could do today.

Jasper and I danced around each other on our horses while we talked and laughed, simply enjoying the morning and being in each other's company.

"Jasper!" That voice. I knew that voice. Alice. "Jasper!" she called again and I watched him bristle.

"You should go," I said as his eyes flashed to mine. They were furious and his glare sent a shudder through me. Mystery neighed, probably hating the sound of Alice's voice too, and I calmed her. "She's not going to stop."

"I know," he mumbled, but still made no move to leave.

Alice amazed me. How do you not know when a man doesn't want you? I was no expert, but to have a guy ignore me the way Jasper was ignoring her, was a clear sign that your presence was not welcomed in his life anymore. However, she didn't want to accept that.

I don't fully know what happened between them, but if it was enough to upset Jasper, so I wanted her gone. I felt protective of him.

She called over again, and seeing as Jasper was making no move to go to her, I suggested, "Why don't I go with you?"

"Really now?"

"Yeah," I smiled. "I want to say 'hi'."

He laughed brightly, and angled Thunder to head over to the fence where Alice stood. I did the same with Mystery.

As we trotted over, Jasper said, "I don't want her bothering you today."

"Trust me, she's mostly going to ignore me anyways."

We got to the fence and Alice sneered as she took us in. "What's this? Riding lessons?"

I didn't answer.

"What's wrong with you?" Jasper asked.

"Well, I was calling you over here, honey." She looked at me as she said that and I wanted to smack that smirk off her face.

"What's going on here?" Maria asked as she walked over. She looked between the three of us curiously.

"It seems that your son is giving riding lessons to the help," Alice promptly said. "Is this a new thing you do for staff?"

"Why are you here?" Jasper interjected, rolling his eyes while Maria looked like she wanted to wring Alice's neck.

"Well, _someone_ wasn't answering his phone so I had to come and see what it was, that…" She looked at me with disgust. "…had you so distracted?"

"Well?" Jasper asked.

"Well what?" Alice said with a weird gleam in her eye. If she was going for sexy, it was coming off more like needy, but I was too interested to turn away.

"Well, what did you want?" Jasper asked in an edgy tone. He was pissed. His voice was strained and the way he was gripping the reins like he was restraining himself.

Alice looked between me and Maria before she said, "I was thinking that we could discuss it in private."

"If it has to do with Rose's wedding, I have nothing to do with that," he said. "There is my mother; you can talk to her about that. I just have to show up."

"It doesn't have to do with the wedding," Alice responded. "It's more about us and I _believe_…" she emphasized on the word while shooting daggers at me. "…that we should discuss it in private."

"No," Jasper said. "You can talk right here."

Alice bristled at that and turned her attention to me as Maria glared at her. "Don't you have dishes to wash?"

Maria and Jasper were both about to answer her, but this one was mine. "No, I have riding lessons that I should been getting to. Good day, Ma'am." She gasped at my answer as I guided Mystery in the direction I wanted her, and with a pull on the reins and my order, we were off in full gallop away from that bitch.

**~~abt~~**

"Bella!" Jasper called, but I didn't stop my girl.

"Ha!" I said and Mystery took full advantage of the order and pushed herself as we rode effortless across the wide open area. The ranch seemed to go on for miles and I reveled in the cool breeze whipping across my face as we rode far away from everyone.

I vaguely heard Jasper calling me again, probably worried that I didn't know where I was heading but I did. I found this little place up by a stream that also belonged to the Whitlocks according to Sam and I loved it. It was like heaven on Earth there.

"Bella!" I heard again, but I didn't look back."Bella! Stop!" I didn't intend to until I got to that piece of paradise.

When we neared the area, I slowed us down to a trot, taking Mystery through the area the way Sam taught me. I knew Jasper would follow me in, so I didn't bother to look back as Mystery drew us closer to our favorite spot.

Jasper and Thunder came up alongside us in a trot. "How and when did you two find your way here?"

"When Sam and Maria took me riding," I said harshly.

"Oh, I didn't know." There was a sadness to his tone. I didn't like hurting him but I was getting angry. Why couldn't Alice leave him be? He was over her. And she just couldn't take a hint.

We got to the spot and dismounted. "Why I ask, is because this is my favorite place to go, to get away."

"I didn't know that. I'm sorry for snapping at you," I told him. "You didn't deserve it."

"It's okay," Jasper whispered, moving over to me and kissing my forehead.

We tied our horses to an oak tree and sat down together. I took Jasper's hand in mine, loving the feel of his calloused palm against mine. "You're a smart girl," he commented, and I tilted my head to meet his eyes. "Leaving like that."

"I'm sorry for speaking to her like that."

"Don't be," he laughed. "You gave me a way out when you rode off."

I laughed. "Why won't she leave you alone?"

"Because Alice doesn't understand a world that doesn't revolve around her."

"She better get to," I said. I couldn't believe how defensive I was of him. But Jasper deserved someone protecting him for a change.

"Yeah, I don't think my would-be girl…" I laughed at his description of me. "…likes her hanging around."

"No, she doesn't."

He kissed my neck. "Jasper, stop…"

"Sorry." The sadness was back.

"Stop, because I'm not ready. Not stop, because of Alice." He nodded. I was sick of this. "What did she do to you?"

"Cheated on me," he said; it just rolled off his tongue. The hurt in his voice was evident and it fueled my anger. "The funny thing was, I didn't want to believe it. I thought she loved me. Six years, Bella. I wasted six years on her."

"I'm so sorry."

"I should be, and sometimes, I am, but since you, not anymore," he said, gazing into my eyes. "There is something about you that heals the pain. I want to heal you too. I want to be the one you run to."

"You are," I said with conviction. "You're becoming everything to me. I didn't even think someone like you existed for me."

"I'm glad I do." He kissed my cheek.

"Me too."

We sat there, me between Jasper's legs and his back against a tree. He was lost in thought and I allowed the time he needed. When he started to speak, I didn't interrupt because he needed this. "The pictures you saw with Alice and me were from about four years ago."

"Oh," was my eloquent answer, but it was enough for him to go on.

"You see, Alice was a popular girl and I was just the lanky, nerdy looking rich kid with a love for Star Wars, horses and video games."

"I really like that guy."

Jasper chuckled, "He likes you too."

"I thought things were great with us and she was the one," he said. "I took her everywhere. Between the houses…"

All I heard was, "Houses?" I could roll my eyes at myself for sounding so dumb right now. "There's more?"

He smiled, "Yeah, darlin', there is way more."

"Like where? Not to take you off the topic, but…"

"It's alright," he chuckled. "Let's see, an apartment in New York, A home in Dallas, it's where Esme and Carlisle used to live, it's mine. Another home in Houston, that one belongs to Rose now. A place in Paris, I like it there."

"You speak French?"

"Oui," he replied with a smile.

"And where else? Because, oh my God," I exclaimed.

"Well, there's the ranch which is owned by the three of us now and I have another place in Turks and Caicos."

"In the Caribbean?!"

Jasper laughed, "I'll take you there when I get the chance."

"Take me there?" I asked. "You would just up and buy me a ticket to the Caribbean. Travelling out of the country maybe a problem for me, Cowboy, no passport."

"I'll find a way around that," he countered with a kiss on top of my head.

He was unbelievable. "Let's get back to you and Alice," he laughed at my response, and got back to the topic at hand.

"There was a party, and Alice was there. We never really talked before, but that night, it changed," he said. "She approached me and we got to talking." He was reminiscing. You could hear it in his tone. "We talked for what felt like hours."

"So things started from there?"

"You can say that," Jasper replied. "They escalated from there to daily calls and eventually more."

"Sounds nice," I whispered. I couldn't help the sting of jealousy I felt that Jasper got to be normal with Alice.

With her, he didn't have to worry about a thing. There would be no crazed man coming after him or some psycho to wake him up at night while she screamed in the dark.

"Bella, don't do it," Jasper commanded. He moved from behind me and came to squat in front of me. His gaze was fierce as he chastised me. "I like you. I want you. I want to be with you. This has nothing to do with Alice."

I couldn't help the tears that pooled in my eyes. I looked away from him. "She gave you 'normal' and I'm only bringing trouble."

"I don't care," Jasper said defiantly. "You're the one I want."

He pulled me into a hug and I hung on to him. I loved being in his arms. It was safe there. I was loved there.

We stayed like that until it hurt and we let go. Jasper moved back behind me and once again, I relaxed against him.

"Thank you for sharing that with me, and I'm sorry Alice was foolishly enough to hurt you."

"Thank you," Jasper kissed my cheek, and I rested my head on his chest.

It was time. He needed to know…me.

My voice was low when I began and I wasn't even sure if he heard me, but I wanted to talk.

"I know you have a PI or more than one of them to check up on things for the family, so what've you learnt about me?"

I moved away from him and stood, walking a bit to the water's edge. Jasper followed.

He turned me to him, pulling me close. He looked deep into my eyes as if he was searching for something, before he said softly, "You're Isabella Marie Swan, you're 26 years old. You graduated college. You're an English major with a passion for culinary arts. You danced at the Alexandria dance studio and you married James Carter six years ago. And December of last year, you took a stand and walked away."

"There is more, isn't there?"

"Are you sure you want me to say it?" he asked.

"Yes. I need to know what you've learned so that I know what I still have to share with you." He looked stunned by my answer.

"Bella, I have someone keeping an eye on James and if and when he makes a move, I'll know," he said in a serious tone. "Nothing will happen to you. Not while you're here."

I nodded and kissed his cheek before moving out of his arms and walking away. I headed over to Mystery and Thunder.

Again, Jasper followed.

I petted my horse and she neighed. I loved her. I don't look at him when I start, "It was 3 am and I was lying beside him, naked. He wanted us to cuddle." I chuckled darkly at the memory. "Phil was waiting. I had to run that night. I wouldn't have gotten that opportunity again. So I went to the bathroom after he sleepily allowed it, and then when I thought he was deep enough in his slumber, I made a run for it."

Jasper remained silent and I was thankful.

"I got the clothes I hid, on, took my backpack, and I was out the door. He didn't know I had the new code." I looked up at Jasper then. His shimmering eyes were hard, but I wasn't scared. It wasn't for me. "I ran, Jasper. I ran and I ran until I got to Phil and collapsed into his arms. He took me to a motel and gave me a car, money, and some new information."

"We've contacted him, and others too, including your father," Jasper told me. "I'm keeping an eye out for them."

"Thank you," I said, a single tear running down my cheek.

"You're welcome, Bella," he said.

This was the hardest thing to say. "Maybe one day I'll have to run again…" Jasper bristled and moved to protest but I cut him off. "But I swear, I'll never forget any of you. Jasper, from the moment I got in your mom's car, I felt like I could breathe again. And you…" I caressed his cheek and he leaned into my touch. "You are everything."

"Then don't ever leave."

"I'll try," I smiled.

I pulled away and Jasper got our horses untied. I got on Mystery's back and Jasper mounted Thunder.

Together, we rode back to the ranch for me to get ready for my session with Esme. I had a lot to talk about, if I didn't chicken out by the time I got there.

Jasper had shared a bit of himself and I let him know a bit about me.

"_Then don't ever leave,"_ His statement with me all the way back.

I never wanted to.


	18. I Ran For My Life

_**AN: Bella's session goes south. Jasper steps in. **_

_**Brief recollection of Bella's abuse is in italics. If the subject bothers you, please skip ahead. Thank you.**_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter seventeen: I Ran For My Life<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, January, 2011... <strong>_

With a hug from Jasper, I left the stables and hurried to the house. Esme was already here. Her car was parked beside Jasper's truck.

I went inside and immediately remembered that Esme wanted us to do our session were I was most comfortable. So I went up to my room, figuring that's where she'd be since I told her I was very comfortable in the room Jasper had given me.

Opening the door, I found her perched on my little sofa by the window. "Hey, Bella, it's great to see you," Esme smiled.

"It's nice to see you too," I said, walking into my room and closing the door behind me.

I grabbed my desk chair and wheeled it over, taking a seat in front of her. She grinned at the move. I was showing confidence, and I felt it too.

I didn't feel scared. I felt brave.

Maybe it was because Jasper and I had just talked, but I felt like this was a whole new me.

"You look happy," she commented.

"I feel a little happy," I said. "Jasper and I had a talk."

"That's very good," she cheered. "Communication is always the key."

"It really is," I replied. "I learnt a little about him and him about me."

"That's wonderful," Esme sighed and wrote something down. "So I hear you were out riding, is that something you enjoy?"

"It's been a while but Jasper, Maria and Sam have been helping me get back into the hang of it," I told her. "I'm beginning to love it as much as cooking."

Esme smiled and wrote something else. She seemed very pleased with my attitude. Maybe this was going to be an easy and quick session today. "I'm happy to hear that."

But when she grew serious and looked at me with those probing eyes; I lost hope that anything about this session would easy.

"How have things been since we last spoke?" Esme asked.

"It's been fine, but I may have done something wrong," I said. I had been thinking about it since I told Jasper a little about me. I was wondering if I should have told Esme first.

"What is it?"

"I may have told Jasper a bit about the night I left James before I said anything to you, is that bad?"

"No," she visibly sighed and then chuckled, "I don't see anything wrong with that. Do you?"

"No," I jumped and said. "It's a relief to talk to him. Jasper makes me feel so comfortable and he had shared a bit about himself with me so I thought it would be okay to say something. Tell him something."

"Something personal seeing as he shared something personal with you," Esme concluded.

"Yes," I sighed.

"Well, I'm happy you feel that level of comfort around Jasper," Esme said. "It marvels me actually."

"Why?"

"Most patients with your condition take some time before they can truly feel that type of comfort you're describing. Jasper has had a profound effect on you."

I ducked my head and blushed as I got the next part out, "I want to be with him too."

"Have you spoken to him about it?"

"Yes, we've talked."

"And you're both in agreement with this?"

"Yes," I breathed happily, meeting her smiling eyes. "And I'm so happy, Esme. Jasper is amazing."

"That's very good," she sighed.

"I want to talk…to you. I want to take a step back and heal myself," I admitted. I needed to do this. For me, for Jasper.

"Are you sure?"

"I can't move forward unless I confront the past."

Esme gleamed and took a deep breath. I prepared myself too as she started her questioning.

"We will discuss whatever you'll like to talk about, but I have questions of my own," Esme explained.

I took a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm ready."

"Tell me what differentiates Jasper from James?"

"Why?" I trembled at the sound of James' name.

"For the same reason you stated," Esme said. "No forward without going back."

I ran a hand through my hair and took more shaky breaths as I gathered myself. _I could do this_. "Every day, Jasper shows me that he'll never be like James. There isn't an ounce of evil in him." Esme stayed silent, allowing me to continue, "James was the devil and I escaped from hell. Everything that could sicken you would excite James. I think it's why he's a doctor, because he doesn't have a caring bone in his body."

"You've really given this some thought, I see."

_I really have_. "Yes."

"So you think that James is only a doctor, both for stature and to have control," Esme stated.

"Yes. He liked to see people hurt. He loved to know that you had no control over what was happening to you." My mind started to drift. "He would punish me and then ridicule me for it. It's like he saw my fear as an act."

Esme frowned. And I knew how she felt. I would have been angry too if the roles were reversed. "How is Jasper in this setting?"

"Jasper is kindhearted and loving," I smiled, feeling nothing but relief when I talked about Jasper. "There is this air of command about Jasper, but he can control it. It isn't overbearing. He doesn't seek attention by hurting things. He hurts when I hurt. He worries. It's so odd for me to have someone do that over me and my wellbeing, but it also comforts that someone actually cares that much." It baffled me. "Jasper makes me laugh instead cry. He thrives to hear me laugh."

I started to see Jasper in my mind. "He's charming, but it's not for gain. It's just because…He's beautiful. He's caring. I can see it in how you guys love him." Esme smiled proudly. "He's protective. I told that I wanted to be with him, the other night, but now, I'm worried about James catching up to me and hurting him."

"What about Jasper?"

"He isn't worried. He told that he would never let James hurt me. I don't get him sometimes…" I could feel the words on the tip of my tongue.

"But?" Esme looked like she could see them in my eyes.

"I'm falling in love with him."

"I'm glad you admitted that, Bella," Esme said, her shimmering eyes holding nothing but joy.

But as quickly as it appeared, she masked it and asked another question, "In your nightmares, how is Jasper different from James?"

I blushed when I thought of the dream I had the other night. "First of all, I have never had an erotic dream about James." Esme laughed, and I smiled. "I'm starting to see Jasper in _that_ way. And I find myself wanting things that only dream me is brave enough to take."

Esme chuckled. "That's good. That's hope." She wrote something again. "And James?"

I took a ragged breath. "It's far different."

"How so?"

"I would be taught a lesson if I woke him up with my silly dreams."

"As a doctor, he never tried to…"

"Help?" I finished for her. "No. As I surmised, he got off on pain. James would hit me to wake me up, and then he'd let me know that if I did that again, there would serious consequences."

"What would those consequences be, Bella?" It was a hard question to answer, but this was about me moving on. So I took a shaky breath, letting myself go there. I had to.

My palms were sweaty. My breath was short. And I knew it. I knew where I was. I was back in hell.

"There would be lessons. And these lessons would consist of James doing what he saw fit."

"Were there other reasons aside from your nightmares?"

"Yes," I breathed. I felt lightheaded. "For speaking out of turn, for not completing a task he'd set out for me to do before he got back from work or wherever he went, or for not vigorously doing something in the bedroom when he'd command me to do it."

_**Jasper**_

"…or for not vigorously doing something in the bedroom when he'd command me to do it." Mom had a strong grip on my forearm, trying to get me to move away from the door.

But I wasn't about to budge. My feet were planted on this spot. I couldn't believe Bella had just said that.

"Jasper," Mom whispered, "We can't be here."

I pretended like I didn't hear her. Fuck the doctor/patient confidentiality bullshit Aunt Esme would be spurting if she knew I was standing out here, eavedropping; all that mattered to me right now, was Bella.

"Jas…" My eyes snapped to Mom, making the rest of my name die out in her throat.

"Alright, Son, it's your funeral," Mom said, moving away to go and stand by my bedroom door.

I had to hear more.

But mostly, I had to convince myself not to head to California right now and kill that son of a bitch.

_**Bella**_

I was panting and my head was spinning. I couldn't believe that I got that sentence.

"Bella, calm down, take deep breaths and if you want, we can stop," Esme said hastily. She ran her hand over mine in a comforting motion, and I didn't flinch, I welcomed it. "All you have to do is say the word."

"No."

"So we stop then?" Esme asked, coming to the wrong conclusion.

"No," I said, allowing more of the past to take up the forefront of my mind. "After he'd finish, he'd ask if I had learned my lesson. I would be allowed to say…"

"_Yes," I said, my body screaming in pain. I doubt I could move. _

_James was already up from the floor and buttoning his dress pants. He wasn't a big fan of jeans, saying they were for the lower class. Why dress like a homeless person when you are far above such standards?_

"_Now go make me something to eat," he sneered. "And you better get it right."_

"And you'd do your best?" Esme asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Yes," I sobbed.

"Bella?" Esme said frantically as more tears flowed. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I…sometimes the things they'd make me do, made me feel so ashamed." I got up and moved to my bed. I didn't want to be close to her. Maybe Esme was disgusted with me.

"What things, Bella?" Esme asked through my sobs. "If you think you can go on, please do, but if not, we can stop here."

"No," I said. "We go on."

I rocked back and forth as the memories hit me left and right.

"Sometimes…" I hiccupped. "…I wanted to die. But even taking my life wasn't an option at that time. I was so deluded by my fear for James, that I thought I would actually follow me in death and punish me there too. Was I crazy?"

"No, please, go on," Esme insisted, though I could hear the hesitation in her tone. "Explain it to me."

"I've never enjoyed anything that had to do with James," I said. "He made me do the things we did."

"Bella, have you ever consented to sex with James?"

"No."

"Have you ever made any sort of inkling that you liked what he did?"

"No," I said, shaking as the memories of my own screams terrified me. "I hated it all. I hated it all!" I don't know where the anger came from, but it was building up inside me, choking me. "I fucking hated him! I hated when he touched me. It made me skin crawl."

I sprang up, pacing the room in front of Esme. She was watching my every move. "I fucking hate him, Esme. I hate HIM!"

"It's okay, Bella," she coaxed. "It will be fine."

"No, it will never be fine," I said, glaring at her. "This…sickness, because that what it feels like, will always sit with me. I hate to think about it. I don't want to fear my future. What about Jasper?"

"What about him?"

"How will this affect us?" I questioned in terror. "How will my inability to not fear anything sexual react on Jasper?"

"I think he'll understand," Esme responded. "If he's willing to be with you, he'll have to learn to, and be patient."

_**Jasper **_

Bella was worried about my reaction to her probably fearing sex? Why?

Esme was right. Of course I would be understanding and patient. Anything for Bella. I hated that she doubted what we were becoming; doubting me, but I get it.

James had ruined her self confidence. He used 'doubt' and plagued her with it to keep her under his control.

Again, why was I standing here and not on our jet heading to California to choke the life out of that son of a bitch?

_**Bella **_

"James took every damn thing from me!" I shouted. My anger had risen to an uncontrollable level, and I couldn't breathe, but I had to do this. "And I let him. I'm so fucking stupid!"

"No, you're not," Esme persisted. "You were existing; surviving. You were being smart. And when you found the strength to fight back as yet, you did. But every day that you woke up and went on, was a day of triumph for you, Bella. Be proud of yourself, many are not in your position; surviving."

I understood what Esme was getting at, but I couldn't accept it…yet. "No…no…no!" I shrieked. "I was stupid!"

"No! You were not!" Esme yelled, matching my level while she helped me to see the light.

But I couldn't come down so I turned on her. "You weren't there," I sneered. I didn't even know I was capable of this. "You didn't have to do the depraved things they wanted!"

"Tell me," Esme sneered back, letting me have this. In the back of my mind, I knew what she was doing. She was pushing me but preparing for my fall as well. She wanted me to be free to express myself, but she also wanted me to know that she was here to catch me when it became too much.

I stopped pacing to tower over her while she was seated on the couch. "He had never asked. He just took." I sobbed. The sadness making me fall to my knees on the carpeted floor as angry tears streamed down my cheeks.

"It's okay," she said. "Let it out." Esme wasn't scared. She was encouraging me.

"From that first night, the wedding night…" I knelt there and said scornfully. "James just threw me down on the bed and the man that smiled and greeted everyone warmly at the wedding, just disappeared, leaving behind that monster I had to live with for the last six years."

Esme said nothing, leaving me the freedom to continue.

I dried my tears and got up. I went over to the bed and sat down, rocking back and forth, hoping to find some comfort in the swaying motion while I rehashed the past.

"Bella…" Esme started, but I cut her off, getting up to pace the room again.

"He stole my soul, Esme." I cried. "He stole my soul."

"_I told you to get this done!" James screamed as he smashed the vase next to my head. I covered my ears and squeezed my eyes shut to protect them from splinters. "How dumb are you?"_

"_As dumb as you allow her to be," Victoria sneered. "You're the one who won't discipline the bitch!"_

_I tried to run when she stomped over to me, knowing what would come next, but James caught me, and backhanded me. My cheek burned and my ears rang. But before I could recover, Victoria punched me in the face._

I stopped in front of her. I was dizzy as I relayed the memory to Esme, word for word. I couldn't breathe. I swayed and staggered on the spot.

I could hear Esme calling to me, but I couldn't answer. All I heard was, James' voice in my head telling me how worthless, useless, and disgusting I was.

"Bella!" she called, but it was too late. I was falling, but then _his_ voice and his strong arms wrapped around me as he said, "Bella? Can you hear me? Oh shit!" And then the world went black.

_**Jasper**_

"Damn it, Jasper!" Esme sprang up from her seat on the couch by Bella's window, and stomped over to me with a passed out Bella in my arms. "What are you doing, and how long have you been standing outside that damn door?!"

My aunt hardly cussed. She usually left that to my momma. "Jasper, answer me, damn it!"

"Not now!" I shouted, my angry laced in my tone as I stared up at her with bloodshot eyes. I was in a panic. I checked Bella's pulse, relieved to find it and then I listened to her breathing.

"Jasper, what should I do?" Mom asked.

"Get my medical bag, Mom." She ran from Bella's room while I scooped Bella up in my arms.

"Jasper, you can't do this," Esme warned. "You know the rules. Why did you just break them? That was unethical!"

"Fuck ethics!" I yelled, but Esme wasn't fazed. "This is Bella and she means a lot to me. I want to kill that son of a bitch!" I stepped close to my aunt and she backed up, her eyes, terrified but still holding strong as she attempted to hold her ground against me. "Do you know how hard it is not to be on my plane right now, heading out there to choke the life out of James?"

"Yes," Esme hissed. She was pissed as hell at me, but Bella mattered more. "But think of what that would do to Bella. Think of how much she would blame herself for your actions. There are other ways to do it, starting with helping Bella."

I turned and walked out with Bella's limp body in my arms. I didn't want to hear it. I met my mother at my door, as she came running out of my bedroom. "Head on back in," I instructed her and she did.

I brought Bella over to my bed and laid her down, making sure to prompt her up against my pillows.

"Jasper, look at me," Esme sighed as I continued to ignore her while making Bella comfortable. I didn't want her to wake up in any discomfort. "Look at me, Jasper." I did and she asked, "How long have you two been out there?"

"Ask him," Mom said. "I've been trying to get him away from the door!"

"You heard everything?!" Esme screeched. "Jasper, how dare you?"

My eyes snapped to hers and she stopped talking while I opened up my bag and grabbed my stethoscope.

I checked Bella's pulse again and then her heartbeat. "Bella, can you hear me?" I said softly.

"Jasper, that was a private session and I don't think I need to explain my reasons for having them here, it was between me and Bella. If she wanted a third party involved, namely, you! She would have invited you."

"I don't need you to dictate to me, Aunt Esme," I sneered. "I know I was wrong. But…" I could feel the sadness washing over me as I thought of all I had heard. "I couldn't…she suffered so much. I didn't hear everything." Esme didn't look convinced, but I went on as I caressed Bella's warm cheek. "I stopped at the door when she shouted and then the things she said…"

"Were between me and her," Esme insisted. "As her doctor, I have to protect her."

I raced off the bed and towered over her. "Jasper…" Mom warned. She knew what was happening. I wasn't here. I was back there…with him, torturing me. "You think I don't know what Bella feels like?" I seethed. Esme was the one who helped me; she had full knowledge of what I was getting at.

"Yes, I do," she replied calmly. "So more than anyone of us in this room, you're the one who will understand Bella the most. But you can't let your feelings get in the way."

"They're already in the way," I sighed, turning back to Bella.

"Then get them under control," Esme said softly, placing a hand on my shoulder in support. "Bella will need you."

I nodded and Esme went on, "You're falling for her?" It was meant to sound like a question, but it came out as a statement and I wasn't about to deny it.

"Yes," I said. "I'm falling in love with Bella."

"Then what you did, can't happen again," Esme said. "Or else, I'll hold all sessions with her beyond your reach. Do you hear me?" she scolded.

Turning to Esme, I was about to answer, but Bella beat me to it. "He'll listen." We all turned to her. She moved up against the pillows and looked right at me, "I told you I wanted more, but I'm not sure about that anymore. I have nothing to offer you." I was dumbfounded, and refused to accept that.

Esme and Mom excused themselves from the room. "You have everything to offer. You're who I want."

"I shouldn't be," Bella said harshly.

"But you are."

She looked at me like I just grew two heads. "Are you fucking crazy?"

It was surprising but I liked this Bella. I loved the anger I heard because it meant she was gaining confidence. "No. I know what I want."

"And you want, is fucked up!" she shrieked. Again, I welcomed it. Bella was angry and she had every right to be; both at me for eavesdropping and at what has been happening to her over the years.

"You're not fucked up," I said.

"Yes, I am. And the sooner you accept it and moved the fuck on to a girl that deserves you, the better off you'll be!"

"Don't push me away!" I shouted back. I immediately regretted it, thinking that Bella would cower away, but she stunned me.

"Fuck you, and get out." I actually laughed. I was so proud of her. Not of her chosen words, but the anger she was displaying.

"Bella…"

"As soon as I can, I'll get out of here," Bella said, turning on her side and facing the window. "Leave me alone, Jasper." Her voice cracked, and I could almost feel her sadness.

"Bella…"

"GET OUT!"

I didn't push her. Instead, I moved to the door, but I wouldn't leave until she knew that I wasn't about to give her up. "We'll talk later."

She was crying when I closed the door behind me.

I headed downstairs, angry tears clouding my vision. I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch something. I wanted to destroy everything in my sight.

When I reached the bottom step, I saw Emmett and Rose, along with Mom and Esme standing there.

Looking into each face, seeing the sadness and anger, whether at me or at James, etched there, all became too much. Everything was crashing down on me, and I just sat on the last stair and cried.

It had all been building up inside me, and I couldn't stand it. I couldn't be strong right now.

Esme came over to me, pulling me in her arms. "I know, hon, I know. I felt the same way." She must have. To sit there and listen to Bella say those things was not an easy task.

"What the hell happened?" Emmett thundered when Esme let me go. I could see Mom whispering it to Rose, and I watched as her eyes found mine. I could only imagine what was going through my sister's mind, because the same thing was running through mine.

We wanted these bastards to pay.

Emmett took Esme's place beside me on the last stair and I told him everything. He only knew half of the tale so I told him everything else.

Emmett was enraged. He wanted to follow me to California and teach James a lesson he would never forget. While Rose wanted to string him up by his balls.

Mom was the rational voice when I couldn't find mine.

"Bella will need us, especially Jasper," she said softly.

"No," I croaked. The sound of my own broken voice was foreign to me. "Bella wants to leave. She just said so."

"I hope you didn't accept that?" Mom said hastily.

"No."

"Good, because she doesn't mean it, she's just running," she reasoned.

"Bella feels that she's causing enough trouble," Rose added.

"I hate this," I hissed.

"Just be here for her, whether she wants it or not," Emmett said, slapping me on the shoulder in support. "She needs you."

"Remember what I said," Esme reminded me. "If anyone understands her, it's you. I told you that perhaps a day like this would have come and it's here now." Esme had advised me in the past when my own PTSD was at a high that I could help others. One day, I would be able help another.

Everyone stayed for a while and then they left. Sue brought food over and I picked through mine. Bella stayed upstairs.

It burned me to be away from her. So I took her food and brought it upstairs with me.

When I walked into my room, she was fast asleep. I put her plate down and crawled into the leather chair in the corner of the room.

I told her we'd talk and I would be here.

Forever, if she wanted me to be.


	19. Dead and Buried

_**AN: A recount of Jasper's past and why he may understand Bella.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter eighteen: Dead and Buried<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Maria, January, 2011... <strong>_

I walked into my room, barely able to keep my eyes open. My huge bed came into sight and I have never been happier.

Or at least, I have, when John was lying in it with me.

I missed my husband every day. I needed him. Jasper needed him; especially.

John would have liked Bella. I never told anyone. But when I picked her up that day, I think I felt a bit like he had when he brought home with him after he met me at the hospital – an abused young girl with nowhere to go – John must have thought he was crazy.

The thought made me laugh.

Jasper was desperately and speedily falling in love with Bella, and her along with him. We could all see it and loved it.

A major pointer was that I was no longer dealing with Alice Brandon. Clara, her mother, was good friend of mine, but I couldn't stand her daughter. I didn't know where that girl came from because Clara was one of the nicest persons I have ever met.

But that was beside the point.

I crawled out of bed for a quick shower and practically throwing my pajamas on with only one eye opened. I was asleep on my feet.

When I crawled back into bed, I couldn't take my mind off of Jasper and Bella. They had so much in common. But I would allow my son to decide if he wanted to share that with Bella. It was his past and if he felt the need to tell her everything, then, I couldn't stop him.

Nonetheless, I don't think I had ever seen Jasper like this. I have seen him with other girls, even with Alice, but the way he lit up when Bella was around was simply amazing. For me, as his mother, it was like I was seeing my son again. Not that I didn't see him every day, but I was seeing the son he was, the happy boy he used to be, before _it _happened.

We've never talk about it. Not anymore; not since we told Rosalie. We'd all been to therapy, and it helped me. It helped Rose and John, but I still worry about Jasper to this day.

I know he still had nightmares. I knew he was still dependable; it was why he stayed at the main house sometimes.

Something he hadn't done since Bella moved over to his house. I was happy for that, because Bella's presence was giving Jasper this ultimate purpose, and I enjoyed watching my baby wanting to protect the woman he was falling in love with.

My heart bled this evening as I watched him stand there by Bella's door and again when he collapsed on that last step and cried.

I wanted to rip James' head off. I would kill my ex, Ricky, again if he wasn't already dead. This was all _their_ fault. These two people were beautiful souls who didn't deserve to be corrupted by demons like James and Ricky.

But I had faith that my son and Bella were on the right track. They would heal each other.

Jasper and I had been in deep conversation when we ascended those stairs today, because I learned that Tanya's ex-husband – she filed for divorce after the holidays, and Edward came down from Chicago to defend her – Paul had a deal going with the major corporation that wanted to drill on our land for oil. He would have gotten a substantial amount if he had convinced us to say yes. Jasper was right not to trust him_. _

Jasper wanted to head to Houston next month and meet with the corporation. And I was in agreement.

But then, Bella happened, and Jasper must have heard something very disturbing after we stopped on our way to his room, when we heard Bella's raised voice.

Jasper's curiosity got the better of him, and I suppose his growing love for Bella was leading him to find out what was wrong.

I know firsthand how protective my son could be. And the lengths he would go. But then again, I suppose his dad and I had taught him that lesson. To John and me, God rest his soul, there were no lengths that we would go to protect our family; even go to prison.

"_And what he went through would have cemented that lesson."_ I thought to myself as I fell asleep.

Jasper was only twelve years old when our lives were forever changed.

_Rosalie had gotten home first, but I wasn't worried. Jasper had just turned twelve, and he'd been going on and on about being a big boy now, who didn't need his momma picking him up from every day. _

_I felt so proud of my boy. _

_But now, it was getting later and later, and Jasper still wasn't home. It was five pm and John and the ranch hands were out searching for him._

_Emmett was home and worried about his best friend. _

_I was losing my mind and Rose was sad and scared that her brother wasn't home yet. _

_The phone was busy. Calls were coming in from the family. Everyone was up in arms about Jasper's whereabouts. _

_A new ranch hand, Sam, had just called me on behalf of John, saying that they still couldn't find Jasper. The police said it had to be twenty-four hours before we could report Jasper missing. I'd been on the phone with Emmett's mother as she tried to keep me calm while all types of scenarios went through my head. _

_I swore if that boy was playing some type of game with us, I was going to put him across my knee and teach him a lesson he'd never forget. But then again, that wasn't Jasper. He wouldn't do this to us. I knew my boy. He wasn't a rude child. He was well-mannered and obedient. _

_Something was wrong. I could feel it. Call it mother's intuition, but I felt it. Jasper was in trouble. _

_I jumped when the door slammed and John came storming into the room. He was furious; he was sad. He was as worried as I was. _

_I kept Rose close while she lamented, _"_Mommy, where's Jasper?" The question tore at my heart. _

"_He'll be home soon, sweetie." I couldn't bear to lie to her, but I had to, for both our sakes. _

_Sue and little Charlotte stayed with us until the girls fell asleep. Sue and I took them upstairs, letting both girls sleep in Rose's room while John stayed on the phone. _

_He had left Sam and the others out there to continue the search for Jasper and when I went back downstairs in time to see Sam walk through the door with Jasper's backpack, Sue or John didn't have time to catch before my world went black. _

_Who had my baby?_

**~~abt~~**

_It didn't take long for us to find out who had Jasper. John had spared no expense; the police and private investigators working with us where the best money had to offer. _

_A larger search was launched and the family, the McCarty's and the Cullens all kept in contact. Rose was scared out of her wits because of all the people coming in and out of the house. And it was only day two._

_By the third day, I felt crazy. Jasper had been gone, vanished into thin air for three days now and Rose and I have been crying constantly. She wouldn't eat. She hated to sleep, and she would wake up screaming from nightmares. And that was taking a toll on me. _

_One day, one of the police officers said the word 'dead' and Rose cried until she fainted. _

_I nearly ripped him apart. It took two more officers and my husband to take me off the man. I could hear whispers about me, the team trying to convince John to make me seek psychological help. _

_They didn't understand. I was his mother. I had my son. He was a part of me. I can feel him now, as I did when he was in my womb. If his breath had stopped, I would have known. _

_All I know was that the one who did this was going to pay a hefty price. _

_That night, the perpetrator called. All day I had been thinking that it was my fault and it turned out to be._

_My ex, Ricky, was the one who took Jasper. He wanted ten million dollars for Jasper or else he'd send him back in pieces to me. Our phones had been tapped by the authorities, and all calls were screened and recorded, but they couldn't pinpoint Ricky's location because he didn't stay on the line long enough. They only knew he was somewhere in Henderson._

_John tried to convince me that I was to blame, but I didn't believe that. I felt like shit. I had done this to my son. My past was back to haunt me and kill my child. _

_After sobbing that to John, I fainted. _

_Day four was no better. My mind was deteriorating. I slept on the floor of Jasper's room. I wouldn't eat. I screamed at everyone who asked about my wellbeing. _

_I didn't matter. Only my children did. _

_I prayed and prayed. I begged God for the life of my child. John prayed with me. He never left my side. _

_The authorities were at a lost. They couldn't get a good trace on Ricky. One of his calls nearly made my heart exploded. He allowed Jasper to talk to me, but when my baby said he loved me, I could hear Ricky hitting him. John went crazy. I have never seen him so mad. Rose screamed and I begged Ricky not to hurt Jasper. _

_He laughed at me and hung up. _

_There were a lot of short calls from Ricky that day. In every one of them, Ricky would constantly say that I betrayed him. That I was seeing John long before I left him, and that I ran away to be with John. When in actuality, I met my husband on a hospital bench, because I ran there, beaten and bloodied. John had simply sat down next to me and the rest was history. _

_Ricky was just sick. What the fuck was he talking about?_

_I couldn't go another day and neither could John. He was a damn good hunter and he wasn't about to sit around anymore. I had been hunting with him and I knew John was an amazing shot. When he explained what he had to me, I was in total agreement. So Sam, myself and John went out on our own to search for Ricky and Jasper. _

_We were going to bring my boy home. _

_John and Sam had enough to go on. Ricky was in Henderson. He wouldn't stay where he could be seen so it had to be in the woods. I explained what I knew about Ricky's characteristics and that helped. I was to lure him out to them, and my husband would kill him. I had no qualms about that plan. _

_So early morning on day five, we took a backpack and John's rifle, and left. Our tracking took us on the outskirts of town. By luck or some divine intervention, we found Ricky in a cabin in the woods, just outside of town. John and Sam wanted to wait and plan, but I couldn't. My son was in there. We didn't bring the money, but I was convinced that I could get Ricky out to let John take the shot. _

_Sam backed off and watched the surrounding area while John and I got closer, I would go in sight so Ricky could see me, and while John hated that, he reluctantly greed so I approached the cabin._

_Ricky was shocked to see me. His sinister smile made me shudder. He drew closer, but it wasn't enough for John to take the shot. I had to go in the cabin. _

_Ricky grabbed my arm and planted his lips on mine. _"_My, my, look how well you cleaned up, you dirty little slut," he said snidely. _

_My heart was in my throat but nothing mattered when I saw Jasper huddled in a corner. He was tied to something; his face was battered and bruised. Jasper looked like me when I ran away from Ricky. _

_Jasper looked like he was starving. He had lost weight. Ricky roughly shook me, but my eyes were trained on Jasper. _

_Jasper raised his head, smiling meekly at me from his busted lips. "Momma," he said weakly. One of his eyes was swollen shut. _

_Everything in me was telling me to go to Jasper. But before I could walk over to him, Ricky yanked me back and I was backhanded. John, who wasn't far away, burst into the cabin, and he and Ricky got in a fight while I freed Jasper._

"_Momma," he cried._

"_I'm here, baby," I sobbed. "I'm here." _

_A shot rang out, making me spin around in time to see John fall to the ground, gripping his shoulder and groaning in pain. I had gotten Jasper free, before Ricky got his hands on me. _

_He grabbed my hair and pulled me away. He threw me down on a dirty bed in the corner and got on top of me, pointing his gun to my head._

"_One more time, Maria," he said as he choked while grinding his erection into me. "What do you say?"_

"_Fuck you!"_

"_With pleasure," he said snidely and roughly kissed me._

_I fought back. This couldn't happen to me. Not now. Not ever. _

_I got the gun out of his hand, slapping it away and he hit me. But this time, I hit him back. _

_So he started to choke me. John tried to help, but he hit John in his wound making him holler in pain. _

_Where was Sam? He had to get Jasper out of here. _

_Ricky and I were wrestling but I was rapidly losing the fight as he held my throat tight. My eyes were blurry, and my breath was short. I was losing consciousness. I could feel my hands growing weak, and my grip on him, loosening. _

"_No," I rasped. "No..." I could feel the air leaving me, but I swore I heard the faint sound of John's voice saying no. _

"_No! No, Jasper!" he shouted from faraway as my world was fading into black while Ricky's grip tightened even more. _

_Suddenly, something wet hit my face and Ricky's grip loosened significantly as he said, "What the..?" and turned around when another shot rang out making something else splashed on my face, before Ricky's dead body collapsed on top of me. _

_I screamed for help as Ricky's lifeless eyes peered into mine until John pulled his body off of me. I collapsed to the floor, and with the little strength I had regained, I raced to my son's side. "Jasper, what did you do?" John was yelling. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"_

"_What…what happened?" I asked, confused as I looked between them. Sam came barging into the cabin and John sent him back out. _

"_He shot him," was all John said. _

_A look passed between John and I while Jasper stood there, his eyes dead. John wiped down the gun clean, and then gripped it, rubbing his own print all over it. I called Sam back in and told him to call the authorities. He nodded and left. _

_Jasper killed Ricky for me and for what he did to him, but my boy will never be punished for it. _

_John and I made sure of it. _

I got my son back that day, but not without the demons that now plagued him. My child was forever changed by the events that took place and until this day, I still think Jasper hasn't told me all that happened to him.

But I will be here wherever he was ready to.

John had sworn us to secrecy by the time the authorities caught up to us. I held Jasper to me like he was a baby. And Sam kept quiet about whatever he may suspect until this day.

I couldn't be more thankful for him.

John took the blame for Ricky's demise. He said it was self-defense as Ricky had attacked us and I backed my husband up.

After everything died down, John suggested therapy for Jasper and me. He even came along for a few sessions with me. But Jasper's was the hardest. Esme had a hard time with him. It pained her heart to watch him go through it and it took years for him to finally be comfortable in his own skin.

I could see why Jasper understands Bella so damn much. They were both victims. Jasper could help her if she allowed it.

I pray she does.

James didn't know what he was up against. He doesn't know that this family will do whatever it took to protect the ones we loved.

But, if he ever set foot on our land, he was about to learn that lesson the hard way; it'll be a lesson he _never_ comes back from.


	20. Whole New Light

_**AN: Bella stays; she and Jasper take a new turn.**_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter nineteen: Whole New Light<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, January, 2011… <strong>_

I woke up in a darkened bedroom, disoriented and wondering how I got there before it all came back to me.

I was in Jasper's bedroom; he had taken me here after I passed out during my session with Esme.

I sat up, tears immediately spilling from my eyes when I thought about leaving. I had been so harsh to Jasper. A part of me meant it, and another part was sorry for even thinking about saying it.

I didn't want to go but what choice did I have?

As I thought about all that James had done to me during my session with Esme, I realized that I would never escape James. I could never be happy with Jasper, because James would always live inside me. He would always be on my mind and I would always be looking over my shoulder, waiting for him to come steal my happiness away.

I couldn't live like that. I would not be able to bear the thought of a world without Jasper, but I had to. I had to forget these feelings and get out of here.

"Whatever you're thinking about, don't." Jasper's voice made me jump. I flipped on the light and saw him in the leather chair in the corner. He looked so uncomfortable; his large frame twisted up in the too small for sleeping chair.

"I can't," I answered, knowing he understood. "I have to go."

"No, you don't," Jasper said, getting up, stretching and then making his way over to me. "You need to forget about that. That's your fear talking. You know that I can protect you. Hold to that thought, not your fear."

"My fear will keep you alive," I reasoned while roughly wiping the tears away.

Jasper swiped a tear from my cheek and took my hand. "Your fear is keeping you from trusting me; loving me."

"I can't." I cried. "He'll kill you. And he'll make me watch the light leave your eyes. I can't do that, Jasper. I can't. I won't be able to live with myself."

"He can't touch you," Jasper insisted. "I won't ever let him touch you again."

_How could he be so sure?_ "How can you be sure?" I had to know. What was driving Jasper to believe that he could keep James away?

Jasper grew serious; darkness swept through his beautiful eyes, making them seem lifeless, black, and evil.

I was frightened of him. "You have to learn to trust me, Bella. If we're gonna be anything, darlin', you have to trust me."

I nodded, shakily as Jasper went on, the darkness in his eyes. "I think we need to talk. We understand each other."

"Okay," I replied, watching as his eyes seemingly lighten.

"Come on…" he said, getting up and holding a hand out for me to take. "…let's get something to eat."

I took his hand, letting him steady me as I breathed in his rich scent. Jasper smelled like sandalwood and sunshine. "Who are you?" I asked in amazement. "And what have I done to deserve you?"

He stopped us at the door, leaned in, and kissed my cheek. "I'm the man who's falling for you, Ms. Swan. And what have I done to deserve a treasure like you?"

Jasper eased back with a relaxing smile that made my stomach do flips and ruined my panties. "You're you."

"Well, there you go, Ms. Swan," he drawled.

I blushed when he said that. _God, my entire body must be red right now._ Every word out of Jasper's mouth left me swooning.

"What's got you blushing?" he asked as we took the stairs. That drawl of his made my stomach tighten. And I loved how his accent would deepen at the oddest times, awakening desire in me.

"Nothing," I laughed, trying to cover up my lust while hoping like hell that my voice didn't tremble when I said that. _Just the words that fell from his sexy lips made me think about all the things I want to do to him. _

"Really?" he countered with a raised brow, "Your cheeks look like they're on fire."

I could go about this meekly but this was Jasper, and he loved when I let my confidence be known. "That's what happens when I think about you."

He caressed my palm. "You should do it more often then."

I laughed.

Jasper led us to the kitchen, where he sat me down at the island. He cursed under his breath, berating himself for forgetting my plate upstairs and went to get it.

When he got back, I was to sit and let him take care of me. I tried to protest, but Jasper wasn't taking 'no' for an answer. He heated my dinner and sat with me while I ate.

We eyed each other, but didn't say a word. Jasper looked as if he was deep in thought and I didn't want to interrupt.

But his silence was deafening. So when I had enough, I sighed and voiced my concern, "You should just say something," I said. "It'll be easier if we just started talking or you could ask me questions. I find that when Esme does that, I relax."

"Questions, huh?"

"Yes."

"Alright then," Jasper said. He took my empty plate and went to the sink, washing it.

"I'm not sure where to begin," he said with his back to me.

"How about the beginning?"

"Are you sure?" he said cautiously.

"No," I chuckled and Jasper turned to look at me. "But we've got to start somewhere."

When he was through with my plate, we left the kitchen behind, and headed to the living room, together. Jasper's hand stayed in mine as he went around the room, turning the lights on, but dimming them and switching on his fireplace. The night was a little chilly.

"Why not Esme first?" Jasper asked.

"She knows some, and she'll learn the rest, but I want you to know me."

"Okay," he said softly.

He sat down on the couch, pulled the throw off the back of the couch and threw it over us. I leaned my head against his chest, loving the feel of his warm body against me.

"So the beginning huh?" Jasper chuckled.

"Yeah."

"I want to know a lot about you," he said.

"That's fine; I want to know you too."

"That's good, because there are things you should know about me," he said cryptically, but I didn't have time to question him, because Jasper dived right in. "What's your favorite color?"

"Blue."

"Why?" he asked, playing with my fingers.

His gentle voice spurred me on to talk. "Lots of reasons."

"Like?"

I smiled, remembering my profound reasons. "It's the color of the sky on a sunny day; it's the color jeans I like to wear–" he laughed with me on that one. "And it's…" I paused, looking down at our joined hands for a second. "It's the color of your eyes."

I looked up in time to see a faint blush gracing his cheeks. "It's good to know I've got company in the blushing department," I commented, making him chuckle before he grew serious.

"What?"

"Bella…" He started.

"Yeah?" My grip on his hand tightened, and he accepted it, grasping mine fully.

"Aren't James's eyes blue?" he scowled. "His file said that. So why do you like the color on me?"

"You're not a sick, kinder version of James," I said, my voice raising a little. Jasper needed to get that I wasn't here…with him, because I was looking for a kinder version of that asshole. And I guess some of that anger from my session was still lingering beneath the surface.

"Bella…"

I pulled away from him, moving down the couch, giving us space. "I hate him, Jasper. I would never think of him in any other context, but to hate him. Sure, I was shocked to see that you two almost look alike, and yes, your eyes are the same color, but that's the extent of it. You're nothing like James."

Jasper smiled slightly while I tried to calm down. "Next question."

"Alright, what was your momma like?"

Again, I was truthful. "Everything I needed and nothing I wanted."

"What does that mean?" he asked, furrowing his brows.

I chuckled and then started, "Living with Renee was like living in a dream…her dream. Renee loved the high society life. She adored the parties, the status, and the money. Boy, did she love the money. But I was a glitch in her world because I was this down to earth girl who just loved reading, cooking and dancing."

"There is nothing wrong with that," Jasper said crossly.

"I know," I sighed. "But in Renee's world, that wasn't enough."

"So she wasn't supportive of your choices?"

"No," I whispered. "I wanted to be a chef, Jasper. As much as I loved dancing, and I had been doing it since I was a kid, cooking and traveling were what I dreamed of; it was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life."

Jasper smiled but it quickly faded. "I'm guessing she hated the idea?"

"More than anything," I chuckled darkly. "She was well aware of my ambition, and she hated it with a passion."

"Has there ever been anything that you did that she liked?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, one thing."

"What was that?" Jasper actually sounded hopeful when he said that.

"Dancing."

"Well, that's good." _Here we go…I was about to drop him on his head._

"Jasper, Renee loved that I danced, because it kept me in shape."

"Slim," he concurred sadly.

"Exactly." I needed Jasper to understand. "Jasper, please remember that this is a woman who knew what James was doing to me and did nothing. I went to her. I begged her for help. I wanted to leave, and she told James everything I said. I can't even begin to tell you the amount of pain I was in when he got home that night and confronted me."

Jasper didn't say anything, but I could see the anger in his eyes. I could also feel it in his grip.

But I didn't let go. Jasper was what was keeping me grounded as I went through these memories for the second time today.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked; maybe this was too much for him.

"No," he said with finality. "I want to know you. It's…it's just that I can't understand your mother. James could have killed you, and then what? What would she have gained?"

"You're right, but I don't think she cared as much as you do." Jasper smiled at my answer.

"Okay, next question," I said, trying to smile.

His eyes softened significantly with his next question. "Were you in love with Garrett?" He said it so soft, I almost didn't hear him.

Admittedly, the question caught me off guard though. "Why do you ask?"

"Your eyes always light up when you talk about him." Jasper shrugged; there was uncertainty written all over his face when he met my eyes. "Even at Christmas breakfast when you broke down, for a minute there, you looked so happy," he explained.

I sighed, letting the thought of Garrett in. This was for Jasper. I wanted to be with him, so I had to make him understand.

"Garrett was a great person. He took his time with me. He showed me how to love. Things were never hard with Garrett; he was an incredible human being." My sadness constricted my throat. "That's why I worry about you," I pleaded while trying to fight back the tears. "I don't want to lose you. I don't want anything to happen to you because of me."

"Like what happened to Garrett, you mean?" he said, stunning me.

"What do you know about what happened to Garrett, Jasper?" I asked in a defensive tone. I didn't want to sound like that, but I couldn't help it. My heart was pounding, my breath was choppy, and my palms were sweaty. Did Jasper know about Garrett's death? The whole truth?

He looked me dead in the eye and asked," What do _you_ know about Garrett's death?"

"I know it wasn't a suicide."

"How?" Jasper asked in a calm tone.

"Because Vicky said so," I admitted. Maybe if I told the truth, Jasper would share what he knows.

"Vicky? James's former stepsister."

"Yes. How do you know that?" It was a dumb question, because Jasper was letting his 'team' run surveillance on James. So naturally, he knew about Victoria.

"The background check I ran on James revealed a lot," Jasper said scornfully. "Victoria's mother's marriage to James's father didn't last, but I'm guessing whatever those two had going on, did, and they even involved you in their sick games."

"Yes. As you heard."

Jasper looked bashful. "I'm sorry about that, Bella. That was wrong of me."

I shook my head, dismissing his apology. "No, a part of me is glad you know."

He smiled a little.

"So you think Vicky was right?" I asked, bringing us back on point.

"Yes, I think she admitted it, because she thought you'd never escape them so why hide anything. I doubt she was lying."

"Me too," I whispered. "What do you know about the Carter family, Jasper?"

He looked a little skeptical to share that, but then he just sighed and said, "I know that the Carter family is very wealthy, and that they have the right people to cover up their dirty deeds. But I want _you_ to know that the Whitlock family is far more powerful and that we do whatever it takes to protect our own."

"Okay," I whispered.

He sighed again. That worried me. Was he hiding something? Was it more about me? "There is something I know that may come as a shock to you."

"What?" I was on edge.

"Are you certain you want to know?"

"Yes," I said hastily.

"Bella, James and Garrett were cousins."

Jasper said it fast enough. It was like ripping off a band aid, but my world stopped. I couldn't breathe, even though I could hear Jasper's frantic voice as he shook me, "Bella…Bella…are you okay?"

"Y-y-yeah," I stuttered while using his shoulders for support; I felt like I was going to pass out.

Jasper held on to me, and then hurried through his explanation, "I don't think Garrett was his favorite cousin and I think when James somehow found out Garrett was interested in you, it made him target you even more. Maybe Garrett and James have seen each other somewhere, further confirming James's suspicion that his least favorite cousin was interested in you."

"At the party," I gasped, remembering the party.

"What party?" Jasper inquired, urging me to continue.

"Yeah," I breathed. "I asked Garrett to accompany me to this party. He didn't want to go," I said, recalling Garrett's apprehension as clear as day. "He was actually nervous."

"Where was the party?"

"At this society club," I said frantically. "Oh my God, Jasper, it was so strange. Garrett seemed so in his element. He knew more things than me; foods, politics and such. He wasn't out of place in any conversation with the other guests. But it all changed when he saw James. James smirked…" I was lost in the memory. I thought James was looking at me.

"What is it, Bella?" Jasper asked, bringing me back to the present.

"He was smirking at Garrett, Jasper. Oh my God."

"What happened next?" Jasper questioned.

"Garrett grabbed me and we left the party. Jasper, he was so mad."

"Did he tell you anything after that?" Jasper asked, rubbing my shoulders; comforting me.

"No," I cried. "He only said, _'One day. One day, I'll tell you everything'_. But, that day never came. So, they both knew?" I couldn't believe this.

"I think so. Bella, did Garrett want you to stay away from James?"

"Yes," I told him. "Garrett would get angry whenever I talked about my mom wanting me to date James."

"I think Garrett was aware of his cousin's faults, and he wanted to save you from it," Jasper concluded.

"But I thought he liked me?" I sobbed. "Why would he not tell me about James?"

"I think he wanted to," Jasper said sadly. "My sources tell me that there was this aunt that stayed away from the Carter family. I think she is…or was Garrett's mom."

"Carol," I whispered, recalling James mentioning that his estranged aunt that had taken her life after her son's death. Suddenly, it all made sense. "Garrett died so she couldn't go on," I surmised.

"I think so, darlin'," he whispered, placing my head on his shoulder.

"It's my fault," I sobbed.

"No," Jasper said harshly. "It was James' fault."

We sat there, while Jasper let me cry. I cried for everything. For the wasted years. For Garrett.

Everything.

I don't know where I found the strength, but I said, "Ask me something else."

"Are you sure?" He was hesitant and I could understand why, but this had to be done. I wanted to go on. We were making progress, and I needed to do this.

"Yes," I mumbled in his chest.

"It won't be an easy one."

"It's okay."

"Well, after Garrett died, why did you marry James?"

I didn't pause. I just dived right in. "I was so out of it," I said, recalling my mindset back then. "I was depressed; nothing made sense to me. Life was…" I wanted to cry, but I forced myself to calm down. I wouldn't cry again. "It was shit. I moved back home with my mother and her pathetic attempt at sympathy. But I saw right through her. She wasn't sorry. Garrett was out of her way."

"I'm sorry."

"I was a shell of myself, Jasper. Days passed and I was unmoving. I hardly ate. I spoke to no one. I hardly slept because when I closed my eyes, all I saw was Garrett's smiling face. And all I could think about was how we never got the chance to be together." Maybe I shouldn't be telling Jasper this. "I shouldn't be saying this to you."

"No," he whispered, running a hand through my hair; it felt so good. "I want to know."

"Why?"

"Because I want to know you, Bella, and from what I'm hearing, I'm realizing that back then, everything was happening around you and that led you to James and his sadistic ways and I hate that."

"You blame Garrett too?"

"No, Bella," Jasper said. "I don't blame him."

"You're right," I said. "I blame me. I was a fool."

"You weren't a fool," Jasper stated. "They used you. They abused your kindness."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, absorbing his kind words. I leaned my head on his shoulder, loving the feeling of his hand running through my hair. "Ask me something else."

I could feel Jasper taking a deep breath before he asked, "When…" He paused and then went on, "…did the abuse start?"

"The wedding night," Jasper gasped. "He just took what he wanted, and when I tried to fight back, he reprimanded me. He was too strong. After that, everything was on his account. I couldn't go anywhere, eat anything, or even speak to anyone without his permission."

Jasper sighed. "What about Vicky?" he bravely asked. "When did she step in?"

"It started a year after I married him," I told him. "It didn't happen all the time, but it was a painful experience all the same. Jasper, I didn't want to," I sobbed again.

"I know," Jasper whispered. "Bella, was James...your first?"

The question made me cry even harder and Jasper coaxed me when I nodded. "I'm sorry, but why not Garrett?" He was right to ask. Why not Garrett?

I laughed out. "We were foolishly, or at least, _I was_ foolishly waiting on the right moment. The perfect moment, and instead of that, look what I got. Funny, isn't it?"

"No, it isn't," Jasper said sternly. "I'm so sorry it happened to you."

I fanned him off as tears trailed down my cheeks. "Maybe I deserved it."

Jasper went quiet. He was breathing. I could feel and hear his heavy breaths. But when I got up to glance at him, I almost jumped off the couch.

That murderous, dark look was back in his eyes. The stark blue of them had darkened significantly; it was like I was staring into a stormy ocean.

"Don't you ever think that," he said menacingly. His tone made me regret the statement I just made. "What you deserve is happiness and love. Do you understand me, Bella?"

"Yes," I whispered out; my voice unsurprising lost due to the look in his eyes.

Jasper must have realized that he was scaring me because he got up and moved away. With his back to me, he said, "I'm sorry for that. It's…it's just when you do that, you say things like that, I hate it. I hate that you'd think or could even fathom that you deserve what James dealt out." He turned to me then. "You're so much more, Bella. I'm sorry about Garrett and I admit the first time you mentioned him, I was a little jealous."

"Why?"

"Because I knew that something was building inside me for you," Jasper expressed. "I knew that I wanted to get to know you, care you, and now, fall for you, darlin'. So I don't want to hear you degrading the beautiful person you are over an asshole or the idiots that helped him imprison you." Jasper huffed out a breath and I felt for him.

This must be so stressful. I doubt whatever he wanted me to know about himself would be done tonight.

I wanted to stick around and find out though. I was foolish to think that I could leave just yet.

No. Life had too much to offer here.

"We should stop," I said.

"Maybe we should," Jasper agreed.

"That was what I thought you know," I told him. "You're making me see things differently now."

"You're learning to?"

"Every day," I smiled.

"That's good." Jasper looked up at the clock on the wall. "We should head to bed. You had a long day."

"You too," I smiled timidly, getting off the couch and making my way over to him. I leaned my head on his chest, sighing in relaxation when he wrapped an arm around me.

"Alright, we both had a long day," he drawled, making my stomach do flips.

We headed upstairs together. Jasper led me to my room but I didn't want to be alone.

"Would you stay with me?"

"Of course I will," he smiled.

We walked in together, got into bed together, and curled up in each other's arms. But a thought nagged me. Our talk was still on my mind and I felt it was on Jasper's too.

His question confirmed my suspicion. "Did he ever allow anyone else aside from him and Vicky to hurt you?"

The question should have left me panicking, but it didn't. "His friend, Alec."

"I feel like shit to say this again, but I'm sorry," Jasper said.

I looked up at Jasper, taking his hand. "Don't be. It's not your fault."

"You don't have to tell me if you're ready, you know?"

"I can tell you, but are you ready to hear it?" I asked.

"Yes," Jasper said without trepidation.

"James and Alec went golfing that day," I said, remembering it clear as day. "He left me with instructions to have the house spotless before he got back."

"And you did," Jasper said.

"Yes," I replied, playing with my fingers. I didn't want to face him while I said this. I was too ashamed. "They got back in the early evening, around three or so, and James began to ridicule me."

"So Alec knew how he treated you?" Jasper inquired.

"Oh yeah, he knew everything," I told Jasper. "Anyways, James told me to get them something to drink, but it felt weird."

"How so?"

"From the moment they stepped through the door, they kept giving me these weird looks, I hated it."

"So what happened?"

"When I brought back the drinks to them, James purposely spilled some of his on the floor in front of him, and then gave me that look."

"What look?" Jasper growled.

"A 'clean it up or else' look," I said solemnly.

Jasper sighed deeply. "What else happened?"

"James laughed at me when I got down on the floor and started cleaning."

"_Look at that," James sneered to Alec. "You think you can discipline a bitch like that?"_

"_Oh, I don't know," Alec said snidely. "I think I could get her to do more than that." He hit me on the ass when he said and I trembled. "Marie can multi-task, can't she?"_

"_Well, she is a good little slut so let's see what else she can do," James chuckled darkly. _

I relayed the memory to Jasper, and his grip on me tightened. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"It went on all evening," I said. "They took their turns and I wasn't…but I wasn't there. I hurt like hell afterwards, but I must have phased out while it was happening."

"You found somewhere to go in your mind," Jasper stated.

I glanced up at him, to find him looking down at me intently. "Yeah. I don't know how I did it, but I did."

"That's good," he rasped out.

"Maybe we should stop."

"No, you're too concerned about me," Jasper smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "What happened afterwards?"

I chuckled darkly. "I got pregnant, but James hates kids so he forced me to have an abortion."

I didn't realize I was crying until Jasper started hushing me. "It's okay, Bella. You won't ever have to live like that again. I'm here now."

And he was.

I fell asleep in Jasper's arms, safe and sound.


	21. Time To Wake Up

_**AN: Bella's dream and her guardian. Jasper and Bella share first kiss.**_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter twenty: Time to Wake Up<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>**<strong>__Please proceed to the NEXT CHAPTER for a brand new chappie. I've been doing some crazy re-edits. All chapters leading up to here have been done over. A few additions and a little changes here and there, like Jasper's favorite cousin has been changed to the character, Tanya. Writing her flows better for me. Especially that mouth of hers. Thank you and enjoy the newly reconstructed ABT.__******_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, January, 2011…<strong>_

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><p><em>I was in a beautiful, open field, blossoming with flowers. The sun was shining; its warmth and the melody of the birds…comforting. <em>

_A bright smile was spread across my lips as I took a deep breath, giving way to the senses less indulged and closing my eyes to increase the sounds and scents. _

_The simple joy of nature filled me, and I spread out my arms, bathing them in the sun. _

_Before long, my childish nature took over and I started to spin; my long hair dancing across my shoulders and back while my dress filled with the air and took its full shape. Laughter bubbled forth, and the birds changed their tone to imitate mine. _

_My chest swelled with happiness as I spun and spun in joy._

"_Careful, mind you fall over." A heart wrenchingly familiar voice advised, making me pull to a sudden stop, and an ache rose in my throat. _

_I knew that voice. I'd missed that voice; longed for it, and even sought it out in other voices. _

"_You can look at me, Bella," Garrett whispered. But I couldn't. I couldn't face him. "I've missed you," he went on to say as his voice drew closer. _

"_I can't," I wept, the dam breaking as I refused to turn myself around. If I turned and looked at Garrett, it would only confirm what I already felt; it would weigh heavy on my conscience that it was my fault. That I got him killed. _

_"It's my fault." I choked out, tears streaming down my face._

"_No, it's not," he said firmly, his voice closer than ever now. I could almost feel his breath on my neck. _

_I hadn't forgotten the infectious confidence that Garrett had in me; the protective bond that could relieve any doubt._ _"He was wrong. James is twisted..." As he spoke, he came to stand in front of me. "...and on some accounts, I was wrong too. I should have told you sooner, Bella. But I don't want you blaming yourself anymore. It wasn't not your fault."_

_Gazing up at Garrett was like falling through the rings of Saturn. His beauty was ethereal, almost as if he was from another world or the heavens. He was an angel._ _My angel. _

"_I am," he said as if he could read my thoughts. "A guardian, in a way. I'll always protect you, Bella." Garrett was the only one in college I ever told my real name to. Everything, all school records for me, were in the name 'Marie Higginbotham' because I foolishly thought Mom and I were running from a bad man; my dad. How wrong was I? _

"_I could have loved you, you know," I cried, "I was falling for you."_

_He smiled, caressing my cheek. Closing my eyes, I leaned into his touch, reveling in the feel of it against my skin. He kissed my forehead, and I gripped his forearms, gliding my hands down them; feeling the ripple of muscle under tight flesh while letting memories of our dancing flood my mind. _

_His lips brushed my cheek affectionately before moving to my ear, his whispered words heating it, "Thank you for everything, and while I'll always love you, it's his time now."_

_Moving out of his embrace, I wanted to look up into his eyes questioningly, but I knew exactly who he was talking about. "You mean..."_

"_Yes," he said, smiling knowingly as he cocked his head to the side, peering over my shoulder. "Jasper will always be there for you in a way that I can't. He's strong, and he only wants what's best for you; nothing more. He loves you, Bella. And you love you him too." _

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Nothing to be sorry about," Garrett smiled, easing my worry that seeing me and Jasper together somehow hurts him. _

_I'm not hurt," he chuckled. "I'm happy. Sometimes, I think if you had meant him first, none of this would have happened. But you still have to be careful." _

"_Of what?"_

"_The secrets Jasper holds," Garrett said crossly. "He needs to share them soon, before it eats him alive." _

"_I can wait," I told him. I was beginning to trust Jasper._

"_And that's good," Garrett said. "I want you to trust Jasper. He can protect you, love you." _

_Garrett smiled and took a step back. "I'll always love you, Bella Swan." Before I could answer, he started to vanish; his entire being gradually fading as I desperately reached out for him. _

"_Garrett! No!"_ _I shouted frantically, my heart pounding in fear. I spun round and around, screaming Garrett's name until I was wrapped safely into his strong arms. When I inhaled the scent of sandalwood and sunshine, I smiled, knowing whose arms I was in. _

"_Bella, darlin', it's okay. I'm here now, it'll be alright," Jasper said, and I began to relax at his soothing words. "I'll always be here."_

_I would have been lost in his words. I would have let them taken me away like a leaf on a gentle breeze, but I couldn't help but notice the increasing wetness on the back of his shirt. _

_I dismissed it and tried to focus on his calming words as he repeated them over and over, but the soaked feeling of it was fighting through my subconscious; begging me to pay attention. Then, there was his voice. It was growing weak; getting soft. Too soft. _

_This was strange. _

_Pulling away, I moved Jasper back at arm's length, only to look down in horror at my shaking hands which I realized they were covered with blood. _

_A strangled scream pushed its way out of my throat and I looked up at Jasper, only to see more blood dripping from his mouth and his chest. His enfeebled body collapsed to the ground, taking me with me while I pleaded with him to forgive me. _

_"I'm so sorry!" I wailed, pulling his upper body to me and rocking him; the ache in my chest echoing with every sob._

_It was my fault. Garrett was wrong, I was nothing but trouble. _

"_You are," James sneered in my ear, licking it, before he moved away. _

_Looking up, I saw James glaring down at me with a sickening smirk on his face. I clutched Jasper's lifeless body to my chest, sniffling as James smiled down at us. _

"_Wow, Marie, everywhere you go, people drop like flies. I know what you are," he mused. "You're death. You're a curse. You will bring them nothing but pain. Look!" He laughed, pointing down at Jasper's body in my arms. "You've killed Maria's son, her baby. Such an innocent guy and Marie went and got him killed. I think I know what to do."_

_Slowly, I started to lower Jasper's body to the ground; watching James' every move as he slowly stalked toward me. _

"_I know exactly what to do with you," he smiled, leering at me with a sadistic glint in his cold eyes._

_I got out from under Jasper's lifeless body and ran. But James was faster. He was moving at an inhuman pace and was in front of me in a second. _

_I caught a breath and looked around; trying to find an escape route, but this only gave James time to grab me by the throat. I strangled cry left me as I flimsily grasped at his strong hold on me. "You're a fucking disease, Marie, but you're mine. No one else will ever have you. You…belong…to…me." _

_I hit him and got away. I took off running again, but once again, James gained on me in no time. I made the mistake of looking back, and saw him leaping in the air like an animal, and landed in front of me in a second. _

_He grabbed me by the throat again, pulled me to him roughly kissed my lips and then threw me clear across the open field. The pain in my back was unbearable and when I tried to get up, I couldn't. _

_James was in front of me again; his eyes were on fire._

"_Where the fuck do you think you're going?" he screamed. "You're mine, Marie. I made you. I molded you. No one will ever have you. You're MINE!" He snatched me up by the neck again, his fingers digging into my flesh and cutting off my air. The beautiful, sunny sky had turned ominous, dark, and frightening. "You'll be mine again, and this time, I'll never let you go."_

"Wake up, Bella!" I could hear him shouting; willing me back to reality. "I'm here, darlin'. Please open your pretty eyes for me," he pleaded.

I followed his command, opening my eyes, blinking once or twice while I let Jasper's words coax me out of my nightmare. His promise of safety from the horror, filled me with contentment, but as soon as he sighed in relief, I burst into tears. But Jasper was ready for it, and he took me in his arms. "It's okay. I'm here." His words made me cry even harder as I clutched to him.

"I'm sorry," I apologized in a broken voice. "I woke you up."

"Nonsense, it's fine," He hushed. "What was it?"

"It-it was a nightmare, but not at first." I sat up, wondering how much I should reveal to him in my sleep.

"I know," Jasper said solemnly. "Garrett was there at first, but then you started crying that you lost me, and then…" He knitted his brows in anger. "James showed up."

"Yeah," I whispered. "Sounds about right." I continued to sob and Jasper pulled me back in a hug.

"Bella, do you want to share your dream with me?" He urged, and I did.

I started out by telling Jasper what Garrett had said about not blaming me for what happened to him and that he'd always be there for me, but he wanted me to be with Jasper. I could feel Jasper smiling against my skin at that. Then I told Jasper about himself being there. My breath etched when I recalled the amount of blood pouring from him, but Jasper told me that it wasn't real and reminded me to trust him; he would never let anything happen to me.

"Garrett told me you'd always protect me."

"And I will," Jasper said softly, pulling away to caress my face. The beauty of his eyes had me enraptured in the dimly lit room. He was so close and his eyes held such promise. His warm breath fanned over my face, both calming and exciting me.

I wanted to kiss him so bad.

"Thank you," I said instead when he didn't make a move. But then, I chuckled, "You know most doctors would think that I'm crazy, or that I'm imagining things, yet, you believe me."

"Yes," he said calmly without hesitation, rubbing my shoulders. "I have no reason not to believe in you."

"You're incredible," I said, trying to choke back my tears.

Jasper took me in arms and it was the safest place I have ever been.

**~~abt~~**

The morning sun came through my windows, warming my face. It was a new day and thankfully after falling back asleep in Jasper's arms, I didn't have any more nightmares.

I woke up before him and just sat there, looking at him.

He was so beautiful. His face looked so cute. Soft snores were escaping him and I wanted to crawl out of bed, and make us breakfast but I didn't want to leave. He looked so peaceful, but I couldn't help thinking about the fact he didn't get to share his own life story with me last night.

What did Jasper want to say? What had happened to him?

He stirred while I was lost in thought and when his beautiful blue eyes met mine, I was trapped in their warm gaze.

"Morning, darlin'," he said, moving to sit up.

"Hi," I whispered, blushing and ducking my head when he smiled at me. Jasper made me feel like a teenager.

"Why are you so far away?" he asked, reaching out for me.

"I didn't want to wake you," I explained, crawling into his arms.

"Mmm…much better."

I chuckled.

"What?" Jasper said. "I like having you in my arms."

"I like watching you sleep."

He chuckled. "It would've been fine to wake me though." Looking up at him, his eyes held nothing but the truth. "I can't think of a better person to wake me up," he continued; his smile was so sincere, it made my heart thump in appreciation.

I giggled, "I'll remember that."

"I don't ever want you to be afraid of me, Bella," Jasper explained in a soft yet compelling tone. "I'll never hurt you."

I nodded and he sighed in content, holding me to him. I felt so relaxed that I almost fell back asleep.

"Bella, are you okay?" His smooth voice broke through my thoughts and I tilted my head up from his chest, only to find myself transfixed by his gorgeous, soul penetrating eyes.

Words were lost to me as Jasper gazed down at me. His eyes kept darting between my eyes and my lips. And I could see that we were back here once more.

Our gaze held a question. A need to go forward, but fearing what that road held.

While words never passed his lips, his eyes spoke volumes, and I knew exactly what they were saying because I felt it too.

There was a strong pull, and nothing in me wanted to fight it. I watched on bated breath as Jasper's head lowered to mine; his hand slowly coming up to caress my cheek.

I closed my eyes, leaning into his palm; only to open them in time to meet his ravenous eyes as he leaned forward.

The moment Jasper's lips touched mine, my world exploded. It was unlike anything I have ever felt before. It was as if time itself stopped, and the world had faded away as he palmed my cheeks while his soft lips moved against mine.

The kiss was soft, yet, so sweet. My hands had a mind of their own, roaming his body, as we moved to sit up on our knees on the bed. Jasper wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to him, and I surrendered; molding my body to his own while breathy moans rang out in the silent room.

I didn't even know they were coming from me.

Jasper's hands grazed the waistband of my pajama bottoms as he moaned into my mouth while I fisted the hair at the nape of his neck, while his tongue ran along my bottom lip and I opened my mouth to him.

I parted them, inviting his probing tongue inside as he deepened the kiss while pulling me impossibly closer to his hard body. My hands moved from his hair to his neck and then down to his waist, loving the feel of his well-toned form beneath my fingertips.

My body was on fire. I wanted nothing more than to go forward; to just lie back and let Jasper have his way with me. To feel him inside of me, to have his strong body on mine; to let him drive my entire being to ecstasy.

But, we had to stop. It was too soon. If we didn't stop now, it would go too far. And while my body was ready for all the pleasure Jasper could offer it, my mind was another story.

Begrudgingly, I pulled away, panting while I laid my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beating wildly in my ear as he stroked my hair.

"We have to stop," I breathed, trying to convince myself that this was the right decision.

Jasper didn't answer, and for a minute, I feared his disappointment, but I bravely looked up in his darkened lust filled eyes only to find nothing but understanding.

"We should," he whispered.

I stared at him long and hard while willing myself to move. "I…I should go."

"Yeah," he breathed.

I got off the bed and headed for the door. I needed a shower. I needed to think. With one last look at Jasper, I opened the door and walked out of my room.

But my heart and soul were screaming to go back. To go forward. Everything in me was yelling to stay, and it pained me to walk away.


	22. New Rommate

_**AN: Another turn in the right direction for Jasper and Bella. Edward comes to town and Tanya comes to stay for a while.**_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter twenty-one: New Roommate<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>**<strong>__Again, there have been re-edits. Tanya is now playing the role of Jasper's favorite cousin.__******_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Jasper, January, 2011...<strong>_

As dejected as I felt, Bella was right, we had to stop. If we hadn't, who knows how far things would have gone.

It was too soon. I wasn't about to bring Bella into a sexual relationship with me until she was ready. I wanted her. God knows I wanted her, but Bella had to be ready before we went any further. I would exercise patience – even if it killed me – until she was.

I climbed off her bed and made my way from her room to mine, heading straight to my adjoining bathroom. As I stripped down, I couldn't help but think about Bella in here with me. I wanted to feel her soft lips on mine again.

As I got under the cool spray, images of Bella and I making love assaulted my mind behind my closed lids while I tried not to wrap my fingers around my erection.

My lips were still tingled from our kiss and while I wasn't about pressure her into anything more intimate, it didn't stop my mind from going to the gutter when I thought about Bella. Her petal lips were like heaven against mine.

It was like I was in a dream I didn't want to wake up from. My hunger for Bella left me craving her body and the release I so desperately wanted and was denying myself.

Frustrated, I finished my shower, the cold water doing nothing to alleviate my needs, and quickly dried off and got dressed before going to my office to make some calls. I was hoping to get some work done. I wasn't heading into my practice today. Carlisle would be filling in for me.

I needed to get ready to head up to Houston next month for this supposed deal Paul was trying to do behind my back. But also, I wanted to stay at home…with Bella. She and I had to talk. She and I taken another turn in our relationship and I wanted her to understand that I wouldn't pressure her into anything.

When I took a moment to really think about it, it was weird. Never in my life, had any woman affected the way Bella does. Not even Alice, whom I thought I had loved deeply, had this effect on me. With Bella in my life, things were so clear.

My day wasn't complete without seeing her. I had to see the corner of her lips curl up in a smile.

I had to stop thinking about Bella right now. Thoughts of her were distracting me from the call I was on. As soon as I hung up with Uncle Joshua, I would go and find her, because there was nothing but Bella on my mind.

**~~abt~~**

The delicious smell of breakfast led me to the kitchen. Bella was standing by the coffee maker, sipping from her mug, unaware of my presence while I stood behind her transfixed by the lovely girl before me.

Bella was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I had my share of gorgeous women in college, but Bella, by far, was the most beautiful.

Her beauty transcended well beyond her outer appearance. Simply put, she was beautiful both inside and out.

She turned to face me. "Oh hey."

The softness of her voice and the way her lips curled up into a light smirk with those kind, melted chocolate eyes holding me under their trance, made me shiver.

"Hey."

"I made breakfast," Bella said while all I wanted to do was kiss her again. "You were in your office."

"I'm working from home today," I told her.

She smiled at that. "I'm glad you're here."

"Great."

We sat down to breakfast, but the tension in the room was almost unbearable. I couldn't do it. I wanted Bella badly. Every time she lifted her damn fork to those sexy lips, my cock twitched and I couldn't help the images of her lips wrapped around something else from flooding into my mind.

"Jasper, are you okay?" Her voice made me jump.

"Umm…yeah!" I jumped up from the table with my half finished breakfast and headed to the sink. I had to get away. I was about to explode.

Unfortunately, Bella followed. "Jasper, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I struggled to say. Her intoxicating scent of strawberry and freesia was killing me. I wanted to grab her and throw her down right here on the kitchen floor.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I said, turning to her. I tried to smile but it was in vain. Bella looked very worried.

"What's really wrong, Jasper?" she asked, concern laced in her tone. "Is this about this kiss?"

I couldn't answer, because it partly was. But this was mostly about me wanting her. Now!

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I shouldn't have led you on. Maybe I…"

No. She wasn't about to do this.

"Don't," I growled. "I wanted that kiss as much as you did. Come on."

I pulled Bella to the living room. We sat on the couch, facing each other and I blurted out. "Do you want me?"

She looked shocked by the question. "Yes."

"Then I don't regret the kiss. I…"

"Want more," Bella finished for me.

"Yes."

"I know how you feel," she chuckled, looking away from me, but her hand stayed in mine.

"I'll wait, Bella." She looked at me. "I'll wait until you're ready, but please remember to trust me, I'm not going anywhere."

I don't know if it was what I said, or it was my eyes pleading with her to believe me, but Bella crashed her lips to mine. I caught myself in time, half falling on top of her as we fell back on the couch in a heated kiss. Bella's hands were everywhere. Our tongues and lips moved in fervor as her hands roamed all over my body.

"God, I want you," I mumbled against her hungry lips.

"Want you…mmm…want you too," Bella moaned.

She pulled me down on top of her; my body pinning her under me. My hands found her hair, and I deepened the kiss.

"Bella…" I moaned.

"God, Jasper…" she groaned as my lips moved to her collarbone, nipping and kissing her heated skin.

The doorbell rang and then there was a knock. _Shit!_

Bella didn't stop, and I didn't care about who was at the door. My beautiful girl was devouring me whole.

The door was knocked again. And again, and again.

"Jasper," Bella breathed, grinding her hips into mine. "Uh…mmm…want you." The need in her voice went straight to my cock.

God, I wanted to be inside her.

A louder knock startled us both and I begrudgingly moved away from Bella; although the desire in her eyes was making it extremely hard to get up.

"You should get it," Bella said breathlessly.

"I should," I said, bending down to kiss her again. Our lips molded and the moans escaping us made my cock twitch.

Another knock.

"I really should go," I mumbled against her lips.

"Mmm…" was Bella's answer.

I got up, adjusting myself as I made my way to the door. I moved slowly, giving Bella time to make herself presentable to whoever was at the door.

When I opened it, I mentally rolled my eyes at the sight of one of my best friends, Edward Cullen, and my cousin, Tanya, standing before me.

"What are you two doing here?"

Tanya smirked, ignored my question, and looked me up and down. "Tell me something…" she said, handing me her bags, and continuing, "…if I go and find Bella right now, will she look as disheveled as you?"

"Maybe even worse," Edward snorted, moving pass me.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied to Tanya and ignored Edward's chuckle.

"Sure you don't," she teased. "But I'm sure Bella does. Bella!" Tanya shouted, walking off while Edward laughed.

"This Bella must be something else," he smirked. Oh hell no, I wasn't going to do this. Not with Bella. This wasn't college.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing," Edward said with that crooked grin of his that always pissed me off.

"Bella is off limits, Cullen." I loved Edward like a brother but the ass got on my nerves sometimes. Edward was very competitive. But so was I. And to me, Bella was mine.

Things with her would be different, and Edward will respect that.

"Stay away from her," I warned Edward. "You're gonna work for me, so mind your business."

Edward chuckled darkly. "What if I want to make her my business?"

"Don't fuck with me, Cullen."

"Damn," He laughed. "You _are_ in love with her."

"I never said that…" I snapped defensively.

"You didn't have to. Peter said so, but I didn't believe him until now. This is going to be interesting. Let's see if I can change her mind." Edward moved around me, heading to living room where Tanya and Bella were.

Dropping Tanya's bags, I followed Edward while thinking of how I'm gonna kick his ass if he tried to make a move on Bella.

We found Tanya and Bella standing in the middle of the living room. Bella didn't look disheveled but the smirk Tanya gave me showed me that she knew Bella had spruced up before she walked in.

A blush stained Bella's cheeks after Tanya whispered something to her while she glanced over at Edward and me.

Edward took a step forward, but I grabbed him by the arm, yanking him back to my side. "Play nice, Whitlock," Edward mumbled with a fake smile.

"This isn't college," I reminded him.

"We'll see," Edward said with a clenched jaw and a snide grin before I released him.

Tanya gave me a stern look. She was right. It was a part of what I had to talk to Bella about. I wanted her to know all of me.

Tanya turned her attention to Bella. "Well, it's great to see that you and Jasper have been getting along, since Christmas?"

"Bella, aren't you gonna be late?" I was giving her a way out of the interrogation and I hoped she picked up.

"Yeah!" My girl said, picking up that I was giving her a golden opportunity. "I've gotta go. I've got something in town to do."

"Okay," Tanya smiled with a cocked eyebrow directed at me. "I suppose we'll talk when you get back."

"Yeah," Bella said less enthusiastically and I smiled, reassuring her that it would be okay.

"I'll see you too when you get back," Edward said, unfortunately reminding me of his presence. I didn't need his games right now.

"Who are you?" Bella asked.

"I'm Edward Cullen," he told her, and I rolled my eyes, making Bella chuckled lightly as they shook hands. He was giving her that crooked smile so I wasn't sure if Bella chuckling at me or laughing with him.

On the unsuspecting female population, Edward could be very disarming. I guess it was only me and the rest of our friends who knew what an ass he could be.

"It's nice to meet you, Edward," Bella said, and I watched Edward, if possible, swoon at the sound of Bella's kind voice.

She let go and moved away from him, stepping closer to me, her eyes never wavering from mine, and she smiled as she walked by. "I'll see you all later."

As soon as I hear Bella's feet pounding up the stairs, I turned back to the troublemakers. "Why are you two here?"

"To meet Bella," Edward said casually, taking a seat on the couch.

I looked at Tanya. "To be with my favorite cousin," she pouted.

"Her divorce is final," Edward supplied Tanya's real reason just as Bella was descending the stairs with her jacket in her hand.

Edward ran his hand through his unruly hair and jealousy sparked in me when Bella's noticed the move. But before that feeling overwhelmed me, she glanced at me and blushed, ducking her head as she whispered a soft 'goodbye' while her sweet scent filled my nostrils when she brushed past me and out the door.

"You've got it bad, man," Edward commented.

I leaned my head against the door, wishing I had gone with her.

"Oh my God, Jasper, come away from the door," Tanya demanded from her position on the couch. "She'll be back."

"Why are you two really here?" I asked, attempting to not let my irritation bubble over.

The pretend happiness disappeared from her face as she began to speak, "I wanted to get away. Paul is still in the house and I don't want to deal with him. It's over and he's talking about how we can still be together."

"I'm sorry," I sympathized.

"It's okay," she sighed. "I knew he was cheating on me, and I guess I was stupid enough to think that if I tried to be the best wife I could, he'd stop."

"It's not your fault," I told her calmly, keeping my building rage at Paul in check. "You can stay here for as long as you want."

Her face lit up and she was back to her mischievous self. "Thanks, Jasper. I plan to."

"Oh, this should be fun," I laughed.

I could only imagine all the trouble they were going to get me into.


	23. I Kissed Him

_**AN: Bella speaks with Esme and feels happy about her decision.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter twenty-two: I Kissed Him<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, January, 2011... <strong>_

"You know, Bella, you can sit down and talk to me instead of pace the room," Esme said. "Or considering what happened in our last session, your silence and pacing works too."

She was trying to make things easy for me. She was even trying to make me laugh.

From the moment I walked into Esme's office, I have been pacing the room.

"What happened, Bella?" she sighed with an easy smile.

"I kissed Jasper," I said happily. I couldn't believe it. But I was so happy.

"And?"

"I'm happy."

"And?" Esme smiled.

"And a little nervous about that," I replied.

"Why is that?"

I finally sat down on the sofa to tell Esme my fear. "Well, aside from the fact that I want to be with Jasper…oh, and I met your brother-in-law, Edward, he's really gorgeous, but a little bit of troublemaker. I don't know what he expects but I only have eyes for Jasper."

"Okay, that is good to know," Esme laughed. "I don't want unwanted attention causing a relapse. I love where you are today and I wish to move forward from there. But what's your problem?"

I sighed, "All the trouble I'll cause Jasper."

"Does he consider it 'trouble'?" Esme inquired.

"No," I chuckled. "Jasper wants me to trust him and believe that he'll protect me."

"Do you believe that?"

"Yes," I breathed. "More than anything. Yesterday, I told him that I was going; that I would leave, but after we talked, we had a really in depth talk about my past…"

"That's very good," Esme said. "Did you feel a little better?"

"Yeah. Although, Jasper wanted to tell me something about himself, but we got tired." When I told Esme that, a look passed over her face. She quickly covered it, but it was enough to make me ask, "Jasper is hiding something, isn't he?"

"What makes you think that?" Esme questioned. But that look was back in her eyes.

"Just a thought and the fact that he knows _how_ to help me."

"Have you considered that it's his training as a doctor?" Esme said.

"Yes, and I don't think it is," I told her. "Jasper has knowledge of a horrible experience or he helped someone through it, but he understands the dark past I have more than anyone. Why is that?"

"I believe that it's something you should discuss with Jasper," Esme said, confirming my other suspicion.

"You helped him through it," I said with conviction.

"Yes, but now, we're talking about you," Esme said, signaling the end of that part of our discussion. And I could understand because I wanted to hear it from Jasper himself. "Why did you kiss Jasper?"

"I had a nightmare, but the second kiss had nothing to do with the nightmare. It solely had to do with Jasper," I told her.

"The second kiss?"

"Yeah, that one happened in the living room," I said. "We were interrupted by Edward and Tanya."

"But?"

"If they hadn't arrived, I don't know," I said and I really didn't. I wanted Jasper. Every part of me desired him, but was I ready to have sex with him?

"Do you think you would have gone farther?" Esme asked.

"Yeah, I think I would have."

"Are you ready for something more intimate with Jasper?"

"I'm not sure. I feel like I am. My body says I am…"

"But your heart?" Esme inquired.

"It says to get to know him more," I told her. "It says to wait. What do I do?"

"Follow the advice of the one that suits this situation the most," Esme said. "If you want him and you can handle the consequences of being intimate with Jasper, then by all means, go for it. But if you're not fully ready, and you want to wait, then do so. Remember, Bella, this is about you."

"Thanks, Esme," I smiled.

"Anytime."

Esme took a moment to look at my journal entries, and we talked about them for a bit. We set up my appointment for a week from now and I said goodbye to her and Mrs. Cope before heading back to the ranch.

When I got there, I parked my car outside not bothering to use Jasper's garage and went straight to the stables. I wasn't ready to face everyone yet, and a ride with Mystery out to, what I viewed as a lake, would be great right now.

Mystery neighed as I drew close to her. There were apples in her basket and I grabbed a couple and fed them to her while talking to her.

Sam came in and I asked him to help me get her saddled and he did. After mounting her, I thanked him and took her out for a trot around the grounds. The other riders said hi and I greeted them.

Somehow today, especially after talking to Esme, I was even happier. I gave Mystery the order and we were off.

The ride was exactly what I wanted; exhilaration and a relief. When we got to the lake, I got off her back, but as we walked over to the spot where Jasper had tied the reins of our horses last time, I saw Thunder, while Jasper was sitting by the big oak tree.

He looked shocked to see me, but smiled and called me over all the same. "I didn't expect to see you here," he said when I came to stand in front of him.

"Me neither," I said. "Through getting interrogated yet?"

"Hiding out."

I chuckled and sat down in front of him. "How was Esme?"

"Very helpful," I smiled.

I took his hand in mine, lacing our fingers together. "What did she help you see?"

"That I'm liked, that I'm desirable, and that I can be loved," I said, watching his eyes shine with fire and desire as he pulled me close.

"That you are," he leaned in and whispered before kissing my neck, making me giggle.

"Slow," I groaned as my need for him peaked while he peppered kisses across my collarbone.

"What?" he mumbled against my skin.

"We have to go slow," I said, arching my neck to give him better access. "I want to experience everything with you."

"Okay," he said softly; moving away. "We'll go slow."

Our lips met again, and I relaxed into Jasper's arms, letting his kisses take me away on a gentle wind.

I was finally living. I was living for me.


	24. Dream About You

_**AN: Jasper fantasizes and he and Bella continue to move forward.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter twenty-three: Dream about You<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Jasper, February, 2011...<strong>_

_My hands tighten on her hips, guiding her movements as Bella chased her orgasm. She felt so good. Her tight walls clenched around me. "Oooh…Jasper!" Bella screamed, cumming on my cock._

My eyes popped open and I sprang up in bed. I tried to catch my breath while beams of sweat ran down my back. My cock was as hard as rock and straining against my pajama bottoms.

"Shit," I muttered to myself and the dark. This was the third night this week that I was waking up in this state. And the second week I was dealing with this.

Since Bella and I made our declaration to be together, things between us have gotten a lot harder for me. My girl was entirely too desirable for her own good.

But I was happy as fuck she wanted to be with me. However, it was frustrating to be moving slowly. Bella wanted us to go slow and while I agreed with that within my heart and mind, my body was saying something else.

I wanted her badly. The dreams were the least of it. At least they haunted me when we were apart and Bella couldn't read minds so she didn't know how much I wanted to throw her down on the kitchen floor some mornings and make love to her.

No, she would greet me with a warm and sweet smile and then blush when I drew her close and kissed her. It was so adorable and so damn appealing all at the same time.

But I have restrained myself because I don't want to scare her. Bella had been through a lot both physically and mentally. It must have taken a lot for her to even admit to me that she wanted to be with me sexually, whether we're going slow or not. That took great strength and I was so proud of her.

I didn't like it when Bella mistrusts me at times, but it was understandable. It was still foreign to her that people wanted to help and care for her.

I knew exactly how she felt.

When I first got back home after being kidnapped by my mom's ex, Ricky, I trusted no one. I had this warped world that I was living in where I thought they would take me back to Ricky, even though he was dead. I killed him. But no one could make me believe that they cared about me and wanted to protect me, from even myself.

And then, I had those nightmares. Terrible dreams that didn't make any sense but scared me all the same. Sometimes it was Ricky with that shot in him, talking to me, telling me that I was worthless and I couldn't protect anyone.

Dad suggested therapy and Esme came into play. But still, it took years for me to get to the comfort place I am in my mind now.

So I know how to protect Bella, even from herself. Aunt Esme has shared that Bella suffers from PTSD and she would like Bella to learn to handle things without my interference. But to hell with that. If Bella needed me, then I would be there. She needed to know there was one person, she could depend on. She has never had that so I will be that for Bella. Her savior. I was going to help my girl.

_My girl_.

Whenever I called Bella that, my heart sang and my cock hardened. Which was reminding me of my current predicament, but I already had the remedy for that. A cold shower.

Getting out of bed, I stripped as I went. I turned on the shower, making sure that it was cold enough to handle this and got in. I jumped when the blast of gushing cold water hit me, but I needed this to get through the morning. I was heading to my practice today so I only had to be tempted by my incredible girl until I left for work.

I shivered; my body adjusting to the cold, and closed my eyes, but only to be bombarded by images of my sweet Bella.

It took me all at once. Her carefree, honest smile, those glowing sable eyes, her delicate hands, right down to her flowing mahogany hair that sat comfortably on the small of her back.

_Then there was her body_.

"Fuck," I muttered when my cock throbbed while I thought about Bella's body. She was responding very well to our regiment to get her healthy. The frail looking girl that had first arrived here last year was rapidly disappearing only to be replaced by one with slightly full hips, cute little curves and an ass that was tempting me on a daily basis.

I wonder if Bella wondered why I liked walking behind her so much.

What? I'm a man. I notice these things and I was damn grateful for the curves my girl was getting.

My cock twitched and I couldn't stand it anymore. The cold shower idea was out the window. Nothing could help me but taking matters into my own hand.

I took my hard cock in hand and heaved a deep breath, stroking it. I almost screamed at how good it felt. An image of Bella smiling shyly at me made me smirk and I ran with the fantasy.

Bella was in the shower with me. She laid gentle kisses on my neck while her hands idly ran down my body at a leisurely pace, making me shiver. Her sweet lips moved from my neck to my mouth and I groaned at the taste of her tantalizing strawberry flavored lips. Bella loved eating strawberries.

I pumped my cock harder as Dream Bella's hands moved up and down my body. One hand stopping at my waist, while the other grasped my ass, as we deepened our kiss.

"_Mmm…"_ she moaned in my mouth and then pulled away. _"So good."_

Our lips molded together, her tongue diving into the depths of my mouth while I let my tongue massage her own. Her porcelain skin felt amazing beneath my fingertips. She was positively glowing as droplets of water cascaded down her supple body.

My kisses moved from her lips to her neck and then to her succulent breasts. I took a sensitive nipple into my mouth, sucking and nipping at it while palming the other. She writhed and moaned underneath my touch.

Dream Bella's soft vocals were going straight to my oversensitive dick, making me stroke it faster as the slow burn of my orgasm built in the pit of my stomach.

Bella gripped my hair, trying to keep me in place, but I wasn't where I wanted to be the most.

So after lapping at both breasts, taking the time to give them the attention they deserved, I moved down her exquisite body, falling to my knee, and giving that place between her thighs a sweet kiss before taking a long lick, making her grasp my hair and moan loudly.

I threw one leg over my shoulder and gripped her hips, keeping her in place, while I ran my tongue along her quivering folds, tasting the sweet nectar between her thighs. I delved in her pussy, my tongue finding its way deep within her as she mewled in ecstasy. I briefly moved away to look up at her; enjoying the sight of her head thrown back as she groaned.

I pumped faster and harder.

"_Jasper,"_ Dream Bella moaned, running her hand along my cheek before I moved back to her center, determined to taste her.

I laid kisses along her labia, and then parted her pussy with my tongue, nipping at her lower lips while working my way up to her clit. I bite and suck at it as she exhaled sharply then moaned my name. Feeling her form tremble, I worked harder. Making my way from her clit, I moved down to her lower lips, dipping my tongue back deep inside her. I thrust it in and out, in and out, while she tried to thrash, but I kept a strong hold on her hips.

"_Jasper."_ The sound of Dream Bella's soft voice was pushing me closer to the edge.

I nipped, licked, and sucked until she begged me to let her come.

That did the trick.

I groaned and let out, flying over the edge, and spurting streams of come on the shower wall. My body felt limp, causing me to collapse against my forearm while trying to catch my breath. Dream Bella faded away, with her delectable body and shy smile, leaving me satisfied and tired as hell.

Yeah, that would have to do for now.

**~~abt~~**

I thought the rest of the day would have been easier, but no such luck.

Not only was I mistaken, but Bella looked amazing this morning in her tight jeans and plaid shirt. Her hair was up in a tight ponytail and I wanted to yank it while burying my tongue in her mouth.

I need therapy.

She greeted me with her sweet smile just like Dream Bella from the shower did, and my cock twitched. I took a deep breath and berated him, but it didn't help, because Bella took control and pulled me in a searing kiss and we didn't move away until Tanya cleared her throat making Bella jump away with a blush.

While I wanted to kill my cousin.

Tanya smiled broadly and asked if I wasn't late for work, reminding me that I couldn't stay home today.

I was taking a sick day as soon as I could.

If only I didn't have to deal with my family's lovey dovey looks and sounds every time they saw Bella and me in the same room. I knew they meant well but I didn't want them scaring Bella. Oh shit. I left her with Tanya and…fuck, Edward.

I knew he was in town to get a lowdown on what he would dealing with since he was taking Paul's place on our legal team, but that doesn't mean he won't make a play for Bella in the process.

Edward loved a good game and a woman seemed even more desirable to him when she belonged to someone else.

It was his favorite kind of game. Like I said, I loved him like a brother, but he could be an ass.

But something was fishy. Why was Edward down here? He could do this from the Houston office.

Nonetheless, Mom had welcomed him in the main house, and he and Mom were working on getting us on out this mess Paul was trying to put us in. Paul was making his own decisions when he made promises we had no fucking intention of keeping with this oil company.

On the other hand, there was Edward. He won't tell me why he was in Henderson. Sure, Peter told him about Bella and me, and he represented Tanya in her divorce from Paul for free because he hated Paul, but still, he won't say why he was here. And that bothered me.

This was not college. I played those games then, but we were young and stupid. I had grown up. Hadn't Edward?

From the moment he arrived, we had been stuck in this never ending battle of ours whenever he was around.

"_You kissed her?!" Tanya shouted, while I banged my head on the door repeatedly. _

"_Come on, Jasper, she'll be back," Tanya teased. I turned and headed over to the couch, throwing myself down on it. _

_When I looked at the two most mischievous people I know, I smiled at Tanya as her eyes were filled with excitement, but Edward's eyes were streaming with something else. _

"_Yeah, I kissed her," I mumbled to Tanya with my eyes on Edward. What the fuck was he thinking? It better not be what I think! _

"_Where? When?" Tanya said excitedly, bouncing up and down on the couch. _

"_This morning." I don't know why I was being so honest, but it just reeled off my tongue. "Twice." _

_Edward smirked and ran a hand through that messy mop of hair that I plan on cutting if he touched Bella. _

"_Whoo! Yes!" Tanya cheered. "I can't wait until Bella comes to Rose's wedding on your arm, Jasper." _

"_Tanya, I know what you're thinking," I said. And I did. Tanya wanted me to take Bella to the wedding to drive Alice insane. "Stop it. I won't use Bella to make Alice jealous."_

_From the far off look on her face, I could see that she didn't hear shit. "I'm going to find her the sexiest gown to wear."_

"_Tanya!" I shout. _

"_What?" she said innocently. "It won't be bad; just a dress you'll want to rip off of her and fuck her on the dance floor. That kind of sexy."_

"_Tanya…" I warned. "Don't, I'll take Bella because she wants to go. That's it." _

"_Oh, come on, Jasper, I'm not using Bella to do anything," she said. So she did hear me. "But I won't let her go to the wedding without wearing something beautiful that makes her look even more drop dead gorgeous than she already is."_

"_Thanks," I whispered. _

"_Furthermore, if I want to stick something to Alice, I have my fist." I chuckled at that one. "Oh God, Jasper, do you know what this means?"_

"_What does it mean?" Edward asked, finally adding his voice to the equation. His eyes were almost smiling as he stared at me. _

"_It means I have a new best friend!" Tanya said and jumped up and went off to God knows where leaving me and Edward. _

"_Stay away from Bella," I growled. _

"_I can," he said smugly. "But will she stay away from me?" _

"_Grow the hell up, Cullen, and don't fuck with me." _

_Edward laughed. "What is that girl doing to you? I have never seen you this passionate over any woman before. And may I remind you, I have been there when you met most of them." _

"_We fucked around with those girls in college. I get it. We made bets on who could get the most girls his bed by the end of the week, but Bella isn't like that. This…" I didn't want to admit this to him. "…it's different." _

_Edward's inquisitive eyes probed mine. He leaned forward. "How so?" _

_I wasn't ready to tell him the whole truth about Bella yet. "It just is." _

_Edward knew my past. He, like my family and friends, was there for me after my kidnapping but he loved me more when I was being bad. He loved when I was the whoring Jasper; fucking every girl that said 'hi' to me. _

_I had changed. _

"_I'm not gonna say anything to you right now, except, you try anything with Bella, and you'll regret it. Friend or not." _

_Edward looked at me challengingly. "I think I like the sound of that. Game on, Whitlock."_

Edward had been a charming, competitive player since he figured out he had a dick and how to use it. Games were his thing. And he was the best at it. He was a ladies' man as Mom liked to say, and he loved every minute of it.

Now, it was obvious that he saw Bella as his new favorite game. Even though, I knew my girl wouldn't be interested. Something in me was telling me to trust her. And for now, I was going to listen to it while I kept an eye on Edward.

I got to work early enough, said hello to Althea, who was sorting out some files, and left the muffin Bella sent for her on her desk. Althea loved Bella. She asked about her every time I saw her. She was happy that I was helping her.

But this morning she winked at me when she asked about Bella and wished me good luck and said she was happy for us, it meant only one thing. Mom told Althea about me and Bella.

Emmett was in my office, in my chair, with his feet prompted up on my desk.

"Soooo…" he started with a smirk when I walked in.

I threw off my leather jacket and put on my lab coat. "What?"

"What are you doing for Valentine's?"

"Oh God." I rolled my eyes and ran him out of my chair, taking a seat.

"What?" He laughed.

"Bella and I are taking it slow."

"So you aren't gonna get her anything?" he asked.

"Well, I never said that." I laughed. "I'm just trying to control myself." _In more ways than one._

"Want to buy her something expensive, huh?"

"More than anything." I confirmed. "But I don't want to scare her. I mean, she already told me not to get her anything too expensive next time since I already bought her a car. So I've got to tone it down."

"Alright then, but I'm sure you can sneak it in every once in a while," Emmett said. _If only he knew what that statement did to me. I think Bella, and I think sex. _

"That's what I'm hoping," I said. "So what about you? About ready to marry my sister?"

"More than anything." Emmett sighed whimsically.

"Well, March isn't far off," I said. "It's almost time, things are being finalized, right?"

"Yeah, they are," he said. "Hey, so you and Bella…I'm hoping she'll come along. I know she may not, but I really want her there. But Rosie and I are prepared to understand if Bella doesn't want to go."

"I don't want to answer for her. You'd have to talk to her, but I think Bella will be there. I'll talk to her about it, and if she can't do it, I get it and there will be more things for her to attend. Her past and what happened is too fresh, so if she can't handle a wedding, it's okay."

"Yeah," Emmett added.

Edward and his little game came to mind, so I said, "What do you think Edward is up to?" Emmett knew us. He knew the game that we used to play, but he never wanted to be a part of it.

"The funny thing is, at first, I thought he may be thinking about going after Bella when I spoke to him," he paused then smiled, "But I think he's just fucking with you this time around. And if he isn't, Peter and I will kick his ass."

I laughed. "Thanks."

"No problem," Emmett chuckled as he moved to the door. With his hand on the knob, he turned to me. He looked pensive, and then he deeply sighed before saying, "Bella is good for you. I know between your mama and the rest of us, we'll all been taunting you with it, but I gotta say, Jazz, she looks damn good on you."

"Thanks." I smiled. "I really appreciate it and I think I know what I want to do for Valentine's."

"That's good," Emmett cheered. "Well, let's get to our admirers, shall we?"

I dropped my head to the desk as Emmett laughed, and walked out.


	25. I'm just messin' with him

_**AN: Bella and Edward have a talk. **_

_**Chapter twenty-four: I'm Just Messin' With Him**_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, February, 2011...<strong>_

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><p>When I woke up this morning, I couldn't stop smiling. Happiness was radiating out of every one of my pores and I wanted to shout it from the rooftop. Jasper was an amazingly, wonderfully, gorgeous man, and he was interested in me!<p>

Shit! Just saying that made me feel like jumping up and down in exuberance.

_What was happening to me? _

Absolutely nothing, that was what. I had nothing to worry about.

I had a job. I was making my own money, and one of the most handsome men I have ever seen, wanted to be mine. What could be wrong?

But in the back of my mind, I have this nagging thought and it was reminding me of James and what will happen if he caught up with me. However, for some reason, Jasper's promise to protect me won out and I know he won't let James anywhere near me.

I turned in his pillows, taking in his manly scent and sighed. _I couldn't wait to see Jasper._

**~~abt~~**

I didn't get to see Jasper until mid morning, and what a sight it was!

I was going around with my laundry basket, determined to get every bit of laundry cleaned while thinking about what to make for dinner, when I went upstairs. I was just innocently checking each room when I walked in on him.

"Whoa! Bella!" Jasper shouted, before quickly grabbing his cowboy hat to cover his…

"I'm sorry!" I yelled. "I didn't mean to…I thought you were outside." My free hand was covering my eyes but I'd already gotten an eyeful of what could only be described as magnificent.

"I thought you were downstairs," he said.

"Yeah," I replied with a hand still over my eyes. "I'm doing laundry."

"And now you're in here and blushing," he chuckled.

"Don't' tease me."

Jasper laughed while his voice drew closer. "Why? It's so much fun," he whispered that last part in my ear, and I shuddered in delight. Everything Jasper said to me nowadays left me flustered. His mere voice did things to me that I didn't even understand. It was as if my body was his to command.

He ran a hand down my cheek and then kissed it. "Move your hand, Bella."

"I'm going to see things," I advised.

"Good."

Slowly, I dropped my hand and opened my eyes to Jasper's bright ones staring down at me.

"I should go," I tried, but he just smiled and leaned in, molding his lips to mine.

I lost my hold on my basket and wrapped my arms around his neck; losing myself into the kiss. He tasted so good. The peppermint taste of him was sending me into a frenzy, and I couldn't get enough of him.

When I finally pulled away, Jasper had me backed up against his bedroom door with him, stark naked, and every deliciously muscled inch of him was pressed up against me. "I should…uuhh…go," I whispered out as he nipped down to my neck. A deep throaty groan was his response before he unwillingly pulled away with one hand covering his…business.

His stormy eyes met mine, darkened with the lust I felt. "You should, before we…" I knew how he felt. "Slow. We're going slow."

I stayed downstairs after that. Tanya came and went with her jokes, saying that she was spending the day shopping with her Aunt Maria. Sue called and checked on me. We talked and laughed a little and then she went about her chores.

Jasper came downstairs, fresh from his shower and ready to go. And after another heated kissing session up against the wall next to the front door, he told me he was heading into the practice today, Emmett was swamped. After our goodbye, I got back to work.

My day was okay. I couldn't wait to see Jasper. I got a call from him around two pm telling me that he may be coming in later than expected tonight. I told him it was okay but I was a little disappointed. I was used us eating together but I appreciated his call. Although, I'd try and wait up for him even if it wasn't a guarantee that Jasper would be in at a reasonable hour.

Everything else about my day was going well until Edward showed up at the backdoor, scaring the living shit out of me.

I was in the kitchen, making preparations for dinner when he suddenly knocked on the glass. I jumped a foot high and he just laughed and gestured for me to come and open the door; when I'm alone, I tend to lock the doors. I held a hand over my overactive heart while opening the door for him.

"Yes, Edward?"

"Did I scare you?" he said and I could hear the laughter in his voice so I just gave him a sarcastic look. "Sorry about that," he said in that smooth voice of his that told me he wasn't the least bit sorry. He also couldn't wipe that smile off his face. "What are you doing?" he asked, strolling into the kitchen to inspect what I was up to before he rudely interrupted me.

"Making dinner."

"What are you, obsessed with cooking?" he asked accusingly. "You're always cooking."

"Aspiration to become a chef or caterer," I said, cocking a brow at him; daring him to ask something else.

"Oh, because I was standing there for a while watching you," was Edward's answer.

"And decided that when I was fully engrossed, it would be a good time to frighten me?"

He smiled smugly. "Exactly."

I rolled my eyes and went back to my preparations; leaving Edward to his own devices.

"So, how are you?" he suddenly asked from somewhere behind me.

"Fine."

Edward walked over to Jasper's fridge and opened it. "Do you need something?" I asked.

Edward grabbed a beer and chuckled, "Jasper didn't warn you about me yet?"

"No, but I think I know your game."

He looked genuinely intrigued. "And what do you know?"

I could lie or try to be nice but why bother? "You're over here for a reason. You're in town because you're taking Paul's place on the Whitlock's legal team. And you know something about me."

Edward let a hearty laugh. "I do know something about you. I'm not sure if Jasper shouldn't be worried yet. You're a very beautiful woman, Ms. Swan."

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen." I don't look at him. I continued cutting up my vegetables.

Edward stuck around for a while; analyzing me like a lab rat. The feel of it was so unnerving, I finally sigh exasperatedly and queried, "Why are you over here?"

"Whew, finally," he said with a deep sigh and fake swipe of sweat from his brow. "I was wondering when you were going to crack."

I didn't answer, because all I could think of was expletives.

"You want to curse me, don't you?" He was a good lawyer.

"What do you want?"

"To get to know you, Isabella Marie Swan," he said smugly making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. "Or is Marie Higginbotham-Carter married to James Carter and formerly of Sacramento, California? Which is it?"

"What do you want?" That question was stuck on replay.

"To get to know you," he repeatedly slowly.

"Why?"

"Because that's my job, Bella, and seeing that Paul couldn't do his very well…" there was a bit of triumphant in his voice when he said that. "…it's now mine to protect Jasper's interests and that includes you."

"What does knowing that information about me, do for you?"

Edward walked over to me, leaning in close while I held my breath and gripped the counter behind for support. I wasn't about to do anything I didn't want to. "It helps me get something I want."

"I can't give you that," I jumped and said.

Edward pulled away, laughing. "Bella, I don't mean you, I wouldn't do that to Jasper," he said sincerely. "Never in a million years. But protecting you from James keeps me on Jasper's good side."

I actually chuckled.

"Can we talk?" Edward asked and I nodded.

"Sure."

Edward stayed with me until I was finished with the preparations for dinner. Afterwards, we went into the living room where we sat and began talking. Edward had a lot to say, but mostly, he had questions.

"So which do you prefer? Bella or is Marie?" Just him saying the name 'Marie', sent a terrible shiver down my spine. I was trying very hard to contain my shudders, but Edward noticed.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, placing a hand on my shoulder with immediate concern.

I couldn't help it and I flinched away. Edward quickly apologized and this sounded more sincere than the one at the door. "Please don't call me 'Marie'."

"Why?" It was a genuine question, but I was both scared and angry at him for asking it.

"Because when you say that, it reminds me too much of what I'm running from."

"Then I humbly apologize for that, Bella."

I nodded. "Please don't ask about James either. I don't want to talk about him. Today is a good day, and I've got Esme for the crazy, sad days. I really don't want to feel upset. Can you understand that?"

"Yes, Bella," Edward smiled kindly, "I understand."

Edward kept his questions neutral. He only asked what he needed to know and it was a relief.

And the more he spoke, the more I saw how much he cared for this family; especially, Tanya.

I chuckled at his stories about the past and the time he has spent with the Whitlocks. His pranks against Jasper, and Jasper's retaliation. It was great. I felt so incorporated during my talk with Edward. But the way his face lit up when he spoke about Tanya, it led me to ask about her. "Do you like Tanya?"

Edward ducked his head shyly. The confident, strong prankster suddenly disappeared, leaving behind a silly boy with a crush when I asked about Tanya. "She doesn't know it."

"And I won't say anything until you tell her," I said to him. "I like Tanya, Edward. And she's been through a lot. Don't hurt her."

Edward scowled at me, and I thought I'd upset him until he spoke, "I should have said something sooner and not let her marry that asshole, Paul. But, Bella, I don't…I can't love like Jasper. I thought if I waited, messed around a bit, I'd still have time. But I didn't."

"It's not too late," I told him, making him chuckle softly.

"You know, Peter was right about you. You are perfect for Jasper."

Edward left soon after with the promise to be there for me. He said that he would defend me if I ever thought about divorcing James. And I told him to hurry up and tell Jasper that he wants to be with Tanya, and not me, but Edward said he wanted to mess with Jasper just a little bit more.

"It's your funeral," was my final advice before he walked out the door.

Jasper got back later that night. But something was bothering him. He wanted nothing more than to be close to me. And all through dinner, he kept his free hand securely in mine.

I'd made Apple glazed Pork Chops with tossed salad and Spanish rice and topped it off with White Sangria, and then ran Tanya out with her share before Jasper got home; much to her laughter.

"What's wrong?" I finally ask. I couldn't take his silence anymore. I wanted to help if I could. Jasper hadn't said two words to me since he got home. "What happened?"

He looked at me. He didn't say anything. He just looked at me. "Victoria."

That name sent me spiraling and only Jasper's voice frantically calling my name brought me back. When I finally focused on him, he was kneeling in front of me, nervously peering into my stoic eyes.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything," he said, berating himself.

"Was she close?"

"I got a call from Jenks while I was at work," Jasper explained. "He told me she was in Houston and would be leaving in the evening, but I didn't hesitate. I went up there because I had to see her leave for myself."

"You stayed in Houston until she left?" I shuddered.

"I had to make sure."

I jumped in his arms, wrapping him tightly in mine. "Thank you," I breathed.

For the rest of the night, my mind ran with rampant thoughts. I asked Jasper question after question at random. And he never faltered. He answered each one with patience and understanding.

After dinner, we washed the dishes together. Jasper complimented me on my sheer, lacy, white dress and I confessed to him that Tanya had forced me into it, after threatening to hide all my jeans. That made Jasper laugh.

We watched a movie together, and I shook through most of it. It was a romantic film and I cried like a baby at the end though there was a happily ending. I was an emotional mess all night. But Jasper was there for me.

What I didn't anticipate was how it would affect him until later on in the night when his shouts woke me up.

I sprang up in bed, disoriented but alert. I heard another yell, and the sound of that person making them sent a shuddering feeling racing through me. Was that…?

That was Jasper!

I jumped out of bed, stumbling as I quickly wiped the sleep from my eyes and ran out my door. Tanya was already up.

"I'm scared to go in," she said worriedly and then we both jumped when Jasper screamed again; yelling 'no' to whoever was tormenting him.

"Go and call someone over at the main house," I instructed her and Tanya ran back to her room.

I should wait, but I couldn't, this was Jasper. So I went in.

The sight of him like that was unbelievable, shocking, and frightening. Jasper was thrashing around on his bed; yelling and fighting…like me.

"No," he moaned quietly and then got louder. "No…no…no…NO!" His fists slammed down on the bed, gripping the sheets tightly as he continued to moan out, 'No'.

Why didn't Jasper say something? Was this apart of what he wanted to tell me? That he understood what I was going through because he had experienced it?

Against my better judgment and while my body screamed at me to stop, I went over to the bed and a writhing Jasper. "Jasper?" I started off quietly, but then got louder when he didn't respond. "Jasper!"

I was too close.

Jasper sprang up, his eyes on fire, and grabbed my throat. I gasped, staring at him through frightened eyes. He was half asleep, half awake. He was staring at me, but not seeing me while he growled, "I won't let you hurt her."

"No one's hurting me, Jasper," I said cautiously. The sound of his name falling from my lips made him shake his head and look at me confusedly as I went on, "You're the one hurting me, Jasper."

That snapped him out of whatever fog he was under. Jasper quickly let go of me and ran up his bed, slamming back into the headboard and breathing hard. I switched the light on and sat back calmly; trying to alter between catching my breath and willing my fear to subside.

Jasper's eyes held so many things. Shock, confusion and something I rarely saw, fear. He opened his mouth to speak a couple of times but shut it just as quick.

Maria burst into the room, looking between the two of us with panicked eyes. She moved to speak while Jasper looked at her for help, but they weren't about to shut me out. "Don't," I said to Maria. "Don't even think about asking me to leave him."

I could swear a slight smile crossed her lips briefly before she covered it. "But, Bella, I need to…"

"No," I said, cutting her off. "I need to talk to Jasper, alone. I panicked and I asked Tanya to call someone…" Tanya and Rose appeared at the door behind Maria while I continued to defiant whatever they are here to do, "…but I can do this by myself. Jasper and I need to talk. So please, go back to bed, we'll both talk to you guys tomorrow."

Everyone, including Jasper, was stunned silent until Rose spoke up, "Okay, we'll talk in the morning. But if you need anything…" she looked at her brother as she said this, "then we're here."

Jasper didn't answer and when I glanced at him, he was staring at me. So I answered Rose, "Rose, why don't you and Maria stay in my room? That way we can all be here for Jasper."

They nod and left with Tanya in tow.

I turned back to Jasper and he was readily apologizing. "Bella, please, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I…"

"How long have you suffered from it?" I didn't want to beat around the bush and Jasper admitted it with his answer.

"It's a part of what I wanted to tell you about me," Jasper said. "I've been through a lot, Bella."

"How long? Since you were a kid?" What the hell happened to Jasper?

"Yes. It started after I was…" he paused and took a deep breath, "kidnapped when I was a child."

_Jasper was kidnapped?!_ "What? Who? Why?"

"My mother's ex," he said gravelly. "He wanted money and he also wanted to make my mother suffer for leaving him." I took a shaky breath. And Jasper picked up on what I was thinking. James could get that close too. But would Jasper be able to help me? "Don't. I won't let anything happen to you. This…I messed up."

"You didn't," I said truthfully because I honestly believed what caused this had to do with me. "This is probably because of me and Vicky."

"Why would you say that?" he questioned, carefully drawing closer to me, but still, keeping his distance.

"Because knowing that Vicky was so close to me, to us, dredged up horrible memories for you," I reasoned. Jasper looked very interested in my theory. "The man that took you, how badly did he hurt you?"

"Abuse. He'd hit me, starved me, and told me the horrible things that he was planning on doing to my mother. He wanted to make us suffer," he said. "I spent years trying to…forget. Learning to control these nightmares. My family helped, I took therapy, but…it's been so long since anything like this has happened. I didn't expect it to. But I should have said something sooner. I should have told you. I'm so…" I kissed him. I wanted to shut him up. I didn't want to his apology. How many times has Jasper come to my help? I wanted to help him. Not have him worry about me. We'd worry about me later.

I had to be there for him now.

Jasper was scared when I drew closer to him. It was written all over his face. But I wasn't taking 'no' for an answer. I crawled up to his pillows and laid down, calling him over. I know he didn't want to, but Jasper laid down beside me; his fingers laced in mine and after a while, I spoke up, "We'll talk soon."

Jasper called to me as sleep began to pull me under. "Bella?" I opened my eyes to his grateful ones.

"Yeah?" I whispered as sleep threatened to overtake me.

"This is the worst time to ask, but would you like to go out with me?"

I smiled and kissed his lips. "I'd love to."

Jasper was wrong. This was the best time to ask. I'd found someone; a great guy that not only knew me inside and out, but could relate to me. He had suffered. Probably not the same as me, but enough to understand that we deserved to live. And he was willing to move forward.

I couldn't ask more.


	26. First of Many

_**AN: First Date**_

_**Chapter twenty-five: First of Many**_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, February, 2011…<strong>_

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><p>We didn't wait until the sun came up to get up. Jasper was up at five am and I followed. I didn't leave him out of my sight all morning.<p>

We went out on the ranch together and while I didn't partake in any of the chores, I didn't want to leave Jasper alone.

He wasn't amused. He admitted to me that I was doing the one thing he hated. Hovering; watching him like a hawk when I should been more understanding than anyone else and give him space. He wanted me to offer him soft answers and let him know that I was here for him, but I didn't. To me, that wasn't what Jasper needed. He needed this. He needed the hovering. It looked like everyone else gave him and gave him time to berate himself until he thought the worst of himself and lashed out stayed away and make bad decisions.

Look who was thinking like a therapist? But I think I'm right. Jasper needed the hovering.

"Tough shit," I said. "You nearly choked me to death last night, and I'm not scared, I'm mad as hell about it. These things shouldn't be happening to us. We should be happy."

Jasper smiled and didn't ask me to leave after that.

Maria and Rose moved around like grease lightning all morning while I stuck to Jasper's side. Edward must have found about what happened and so had Peter.

Peter called and even though he wasn't on speaker phone, I could hear him berating Jasper for doing that to me. I wanted to grab the phone and tell him to stop it, but Jasper took it.

The only problem was he felt worse afterwards. And proved my theory right. He would allow them to make him suffer for hurting me like how Ricky made him suffer for his mother leaving an abusive asshole.

Jasper looked like shit after his talk with Peter and wouldn't even look at me. I was so pissed off! He smiled this morning. He talked to me. He laughed and by lunch he was right back to feeling like shit. I called Char and told her what happened with Peter. And he got a tongue lashing and called Jasper and apologized.

I got a slight smile then.

Edward didn't attack Jasper for what happened last night. He berated me. He wasn't happy about me walking into a situation that I didn't understand and said that Jasper could have easily hurt me. He said it happened in college and Jasper nearly knocked his ass out when he did what I did; tried to help.

I actually laughed at Edward. "One day, James thought I needed a lesson in manners because a co-worker had come over for dinner and mind you, he had beaten me the night before so I was less than willing to prepare a three course meal from scratch so I ordered out," Edward remained silent while I spoke, "I almost got away with him not finding out about the 'ordered' meal until he found the boxes in the kitchen bin. Needless to say, I was beaten, and because his lessons always turned him on, he raped on the dining table while choking me." Edward couldn't say a word and I took it as a sign to go on, "What Jasper did last night doesn't compare to what I went through with James.

I walked away after that because I didn't need to say more and Jasper was my main concern today. There would be no cooking, no creating, and no distractions. Today, nothing mattered but Jasper.

Around early evening, I convinced Jasper to follow me to the main house so we could search for a book to read together. I didn't allow him to watch television or play any games. He needed peace and quiet but I wanted to stipulate his mind.

He let me drag him over and I was almost sorry for it. I loved the Whitlocks but I really wanted to lash out at them right now. Maria and Rose were so skittish around Jasper. Tanya looked terrified and I hated it.

"Where have you been all my life?" he asked when I found the book I wanted. Edward smiled from his place in the room. He was researching something. The room was quiet enough for him to hear us but he didn't butt in. I silently thanked him for that when our eyes briefly met.

"In another state," I looked down at Jasper from the small ladder and smiled.

My statement made him laugh. But his family's lurking was bothering me too much to continue with our lighthearted banter. What was up? Something was wrong with this picture. I wanted the whole damn truth. What happened with Ricky?

When I couldn't stand their nervous energy anymore, I shouted, making everybody jump, "Stop it! That isn't helping him."

Maria and Rose jumped at the thunder of my voice. Edward dropped his book with his mouth gaping and Jasper was stunned.

"Come in here," I called and Maria, Rose and Tanya walked into the library. "Just ask him something, anything! Don't just watch him. It's freaking him the fuck out! It's freaking me out."

"We're scared of what will happen if we mention anything unnecessary," Maria said, with her eyes on her son.

"I'm aware that I don't know everything about what happened, but Jasper told me that he was kidnapped by your ex," Maria looked at Jasper with wide eyes. "Don't. He didn't tell me everything but I know it goes deeper than a kidnapping. I know the guy is dead, because Jasper didn't mention if he was serving time anywhere. So what? One of you killed him?"

Maria's eyes grew impossibly wider. Edward was eyeing all of us. "What? Edward didn't know?"

"No, Edward guessed. He just didn't say anything," Edward answered.

_That was what I needed_. "See? Edward is cool with it. So who did it? Was it you, Rose?"

Rose looked at all of us. "No."

The moment she said it, I knew who did it and I turned to him. "Why?"

Jasper looked down at the book in his hand. He looked so innocent. It was like he wanted to crawl into himself and hide forever. "He was hurting my mom and he told me that he was going to kill her whenever he got his hand on her. He didn't care about the money he asked for. It was all about getting my mom to him so he could kill her and then himself. He said he and her were going to be together forever." Jasper looked at me then; his beautiful blue eyes were on fire with rage that I only became aware of last night. "He wasn't going to take my mother from me, Bella. And when he was on top of her, choking her, and she was losing the fight, I realized that he…he was winning. He was going to get what he wanted. He was gonna make her suffer until her last breath. I had to protect her, Bella."

"And now, you have to protect me from James?"

"Yes."

"Then let me protect you from your nightmares," I countered.

I watched the rage flee from his eyes. I watched the storm in them pass, leaving behind the crystal clear blue of them for me to stare into as he nodded 'yes'.

"Good," I told him and then turned back to his family. "Now, none of you will stand in my way. Not even you, Esme," I said, noticing her off to the side, standing by the door. I focused on her expression and it let me know that she had heard everything I had said. But I wasn't scared and I wouldn't be persuaded otherwise. "I _will _help him."

I angrily left the room after that. I stomped off because it was all taking a tool on me. But my time alone got me thinking.

Jasper was put in a horrible position as a child and he had to do something bad. His family protected him but that didn't stop Ricky from haunting his dreams. Ricky sounded like such a bastard. And one I knew all too well. He sounded a lot like James. I have been in Jasper's shoes to an extent. I knew what it felt like to us when we dreamed them. I knew the choking the feeling. The despair. The helplessness and the need to wake up. I knew it all. I hated it all.

Jasper and I met up after his talk with Esme. He said she would be checking up on him. I was relieved with that. Maria, Rose and Tanya played it cool for rest of the day. Emmett dropped by and was playful. He made Jasper forget. Edward was understanding.

By nightfall, Jasper was almost back to being the guy I was falling for. I was happy. No remnant of the scared guy who was sorry he'd almost hurt me was in sight.

When we climbed into his bed together, I wasn't scared. I buried myself in the safety of his arms and whispered that I couldn't wait to see him again as sleep took me under.

Jasper whispered his thanks, "Thank you, Bella."

**~~abt~~**

"Fuck," I muttered to myself while going through my closet. "What am I going to wear?"

Usually, a question like that wouldn't bother me, but not today. Today was special. I was going on my date with Jasper and I had no idea what to wear.

We had a hard day yesterday. Between stumbling into a family secret and acting as protector to my 'boyfriend', Tanya thought that it was about time I called him that, Jasper and I needed nothing but relaxation today.

Everyone barely talked about yesterday and Ricky came up, Maria would say, "Good riddance," on the topic of him. She seemed relieved that Jasper could talk about it with someone else and she shared with me this morning that she wouldn't said anything without his say so but she was glad I knew the truth; I knew all of her baby.

I smiled and accepted her gratitude. But I didn't know whole thing; I didn't know Jasper's history. But I wasn't thinking about it. Today, Jasper promised to take me somewhere very relaxing before he left for the main house. He was so excited that I didn't want to kill his mood. I know he said that we could share things, but I'd simply talk to him later about this. I didn't want to pressure him for any more truths.

"Arrgh!"

"Something wrong?" Rose asked from my doorway.

"Shit!" I jumped, "you scared me."

"You amaze me," she said in return.

I looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean?" I was frustrated and lost. I needed something to wear.

Rose walked into my room and sat on my bed. She cocked her head to the side and smiled while eyeing me in my frustration, "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" I had no idea what she was talking about!

"Stop and care when everything is telling you to run," she said. _Oh. Her brother. The night before last night. _

I sighed and told her with my back to her, "I stop to fight. Jasper needed it whether he was willing to admit it or not."

She took me in; assessing whether she believed my reasoning or not and then smiled and got up, "Well, thank you."

"You're welcome."

Rose came over to me and gently pushed me aside. She scanned my closet and then pulled out a white cotton dress and it to an amazed me. She went over to my jewelry box – I had bought it in town after my payday – she picked out a ruby earring and necklace set and then she topped it off with a pair of boots.

"Thank you," I said, still amazed that she did that without breaking a sweat.

Rose smiled and made her way out the door, stopping only to say, "My brother is a jeans and t-shirt kinda guy, Bella. He's definitely gonna go for comfort on this date. Plus, he loves picnics."

I nodded and blushed at the mention of Jasper, remembering the day I walked in on him, naked. "What's got you blushing?" Rose asked.

I debated whether or not to tell her and then confessed, "I sort of walked in on him naked the other day."

Rose laughed. "Oh my God and you two continue to keep your hands off each other?"

"I'm holding things up."

"No," Rose said sternly. "You're taking your time and I'm glad my brother is respecting that. He's a great guy, Bella. Take care of him."

"I will."

Rose left me to get ready.

I went downstairs twenty minutes later after deciding there was nothing else to fix. I was dressed, my hair and makeup were done and all I had to do was wait, so I sighed and plopped down on the sofa with a car magazine that Emmett had left over here.

Jasper walked in about five minutes later and I realized that Rose was right about her brother. He was a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy. But he wore them so well! He had a picnic basket in his hand and a smile on his face that could melt any heart.

"You look beautiful, darlin'," he complimented.

"You look great. If I'm a little rusty, I apologize beforehand. I haven't been on a date in a while."

"Duly noted, and I ask the same apology of you too," Jasper smiled.

"We're on the same page then," I laughed.

Jasper stepped closer and wrapped one hand around my waist; pulling me into his body and kissed me on the cheek. "Yes we are."

Jasper led me to the garage and over to the red Camaro that made my panties wet just by looking at it, and opened the door for me and then he loaded the picnic basket in the back.

During our drive, Jasper and I talked about everything we liked. It was a short drive and we reached our destination in time probably because of the break neck speed Jasper loved to drive in. But also, it was just another part of the ranch; the outskirts of it. I got out of the car with a marveled sigh as I took in the valley in front of me.

"This is…oh my god!" I turned back at Jasper and said. I was so thankful for the clear day. The sun was high in the sky; giving way to the promise of a wonderful day that I would get to spend with Jasper.

He had parked out on the dirt road and then we walked, hand in hand, the rest of the way through the open field. Jasper led me over to a huge tree where the gentle wind and the huge tree, made it the perfect spot to sit and talk. He had taken a huge blanket with him and he laid it out for us to sit on.

"Ma'am?" he said with a smirk and then helped me down onto the blanket.

"Thank you," I smiled and sat and watched the white fluffy clouds float in the sky while taking on different spaces as they glided along.

When Jasper was finished unpacking our basket, I asked, "So, what did you make?"

He smirked and then blushed, "How did you know I made it?"

"Sue," I smiled and Jasper laughed happily.

He motioned to the wrapped sandwiches. "Well, I know I'm not as good a chef as you, but I made us some flank steak sandwiches."

"Which I think will be delicious," I commented, making him blush again. "Mmm…I made a cowboy blush."

Jasper leaned forward and kissed me gently. "Yes, Ma'am, you did."

"Mmm…what else did you bring?"

"A Sunset Cooler," he said, "and for dessert, a fruit salad."

I kissed him again. "Sounds great!"

My first date with Jasper was more than I could ask for. It was easy and fun. He made me laugh so many times, I nearly choked on my food. His high spirit fueled me. I felt elated. The day couldn't have been more perfect.

We talked about happy memories and things that made us smile. We talked about family and how much I loved his and him wanting to meet Phil and Charlie. He could do without ever being face-to-face with my mother.

My head was currently in his lap. We were asking each other any questions we could think of.

"What's a perfect day like for you?"

"Today is one," Jasper answered immediately. "You, a sunny day, and we're in one of my favorite spots. I'll have to take you to my place on the islands and see what I think."

I kissed the back of his hand. "Why have a place in the Caribbean?"

"I love being close to the sea sometimes, and I rather to do there," he replied. "Why did you love your trip to France to see Micah?"

I had told him about the trip I took with Phil before college to see Micah get married.

"Because Phil and Micah were something I envied and then I realized I had no reason to because I was a part of their family."

"What did you envy about them?"

"Micah had a parent that only cared about making him happy, I didn't."

"What changed your mind?" Jasper asked while playing with my fingers and kissing my knuckles from time to time.

"Micah. He called me his sister," I said, feeling a little choked up. "James made me lose sight of that."

"I'm sorry," Jasper said with a kiss to my forehead.

I nodded and went on. It was my turn to question him. "Why didn't Edward like Alice, but he likes me?"

The mention of Edward made Jasper laugh. "He saw right through her. But I was forcing myself not to see what my friends were warning me about."

"Why?"

"I wanted to believe that if I loved her enough, my demons would rest and Alice…well, she would change."

"I understand," I said solemnly and I did. Jasper just wanted to be happy. "What about Edward?"

Jasper laughed out. "The first time Alice and Edward met it was strange but made sense all the same. He didn't like a thing about her and he flat out told her that."

I laughed because I was rapidly beginning to see that. Edward spoke his mind and wasn't afraid to.

"What do you mean?"

"He wasn't playful like with you and Alice made a comment and Edward outright told her that he didn't like her."

Jasper chuckled and I couldn't stop laughing. He looked at me for a while and then asked, "Why are you two becoming friends?"

"Who? Me and Alice?"

"Very funny."

I smiled smugly and then giggled, "Edward and I hold each other's secrets."

"Edward has a secret and he told you?" Jasper smirked down at me.

I nodded enthusiastically.

"I bet I can tickle it out of you?" He held my sides and I started to beg.

"No! No! Jasper!" I was afraid of my sides. "Edward is begging me to let him tell you himself. He didn't even mean to. I guessed it. But he wants to bug you for a while."

"Hmm…he wants to tell me himself?"

"Yeah, I'm sure it'll slip out," I advised.

"I don't know…" Jasper started to tickle me and I tried to squirm away but he had me trapped. "I still feel that a proper tickling is due." He tickled my sides until I was screaming for mercy.

When we calmed down, the dessert section took a serious turn with Jasper's apology. "I'm sorry, Bella. I don't think I'll ever stop saying it," he insisted, "and I want to make it up to you."

He was right. He wouldn't stop apologizing. He didn't abuse women so he saw what he did as incredibly wrong. But I saw it as otherwise. In my head, he didn't hurt me. James had done far worse. "You'd probably think I'm sick for saying this, but the way you grabbed my neck was nothing new," I said to a silent Jasper. "I've gotten worse."

"That shouldn't have happened to you."

"No, it shouldn't have," I agreed, "but it did and I can't let run my life or scare me away from you."

Jasper smiled broadly before kissing my forehead and then my cheeks and my lips. I would have been lost in the kiss if he hadn't pulled away. "I want to teach you self defense, even against me," he said, forcing me to gather my thoughts.

I sat up on my knees. "What?"

"I want you to know how to defend yourself," Jasper said with conviction. "I've been thinking about this and Emmett even asked if I thought you'd be interested in learning how to use a firearm. I told him I'd ask you."

"Thank you," I whispered softly in gratitude.

"You can think about it," he said nervously. "You don't have to agree."

"Yes."

"Oh, you want to think about it?" Jasper said mistakenly.

"No, I mean, I want to do it…all of it. Yes."

He smiled and jumped up, hugging me. He was correct. If Jasper had more nights like the night before last night, I should be able to defend myself even against him. Although, I'd only use it on him if necessary.

"You are so beautiful," I sighed before leaning in and taking his lips between mine.

When we pulled away, he chuckled; the deep, rumbling sound of it vibrating through his chest. "You're mistaken, darlin'. You're the beautiful one; I can't stop looking at you."

We stayed out there until the sun was setting in the sky. We sat and watched as the glorious day gave way to a lovely evening and then we left with me making Jasper promise to take me back here.

"It's now our spot," he said and then kissed me.

We drove back to the house hand in hand, stronger than we'd left. As each day passed, and each secret made itself known, I found something I didn't know existed. True love. And my heart was overflowing with it for Jasper. I wanted to be everything I could be for him; a friend, a lover, a protector. And I wanted more.

Jasper pulled the car to a stop in the garage and I was jolted from my deep thoughts. "We're back."

"Yeah."

Jasper came around the car and stopped in front of me. His brows knitted with worry. "Is something wrong?"

Words were pointless to me. They wouldn't convey what I wanted to say. "Bella…" just hearing his rich, tangy, delectable tone as he said that sent me into a frenzy that I didn't even know I was capable of until I grabbed him.

Our lips crashed together and Jasper immediately responded; backing us into the wall behind me while my body screamed in satisfaction. He wrapped me in his strong arms. My hands swiftly moved to push his jacket off and gathered up his shirt, burying my fingers beneath. His hands glided up and down my sides, gripping me tightly as our kiss got hotter. Jasper's tongue plunged into my mouth and I groaned; he tasted so sweet.

His mouth tore away from mine and slid down to my neck. I sighed and arched into his touch, giving him better access. And when the annoying need to breath got in the way, he pulled away. His eyes were dark, the pupils dilated, and it made me feel like I was staring into a rage filled ocean.

Still, no words came. Just our heavy breaths.

And when we couldn't stand to be apart anymore, I pulled him back to my lips; clinging to him for dear life as his tongue passed over my own in the most delicious way.

"Mmm…Bella," he groaned into my ravenous mouth. I gripped the hair at the nape of his neck, tilting his head and taking control of the kiss. Jasper chuckled and deepened it. He shifted his weight from one foot to the next, and suddenly, I felt all of him. His hard body was rocking into mine and his erection was massaging my heated, clothed center; teasing me. My mind was screaming at me to stop him; to remind him about us going slow, but my heart was screaming at my mind to shut the fuck up and live. So I mewled and writhed against Jasper. I let go. I stopped fighting myself and felt…everything.

Our mouths collided over and over again. Our hands roamed each other's body. Our breaths grew labored and when we couldn't hold on anymore, we both let go; gripping and clinging to one another as we swam back to Earth.

When Jasper finally raised his head from my shoulder, we stared at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.

He looked apologetic as he started to pull away, but I wasn't having it. I wasn't sorry. He lowered me to the ground, helping me to smooth out my dress as he started, "Bella, I…"

"I'm not sorry."

He was stunned. "You're not?"

"No," I smiled and kissed him gently. "We're taking it slow, right?"

He chuckled, "Yes."

"So…" I started while backing away from him. "I'll see you later."

He smirked and I melted on the spot. "I'll see you later, darlin'."

'Later' became dinner with Tanya, who surprised me with her lasagna, which I complimented her on.

'Later' turned into a movie marathon with Jasper, myself, Tanya, and Edward, who'd come over at dessert. I watched him steal looks at Tanya when she and Jasper weren't looking, and when he caught me, he winked. I winked back, letting him know that I was still holding his secret. Though I believed that the sooner he let her know, and tell Jasper about it, the better.

And finally, 'later' became Jasper and I curled up in bed together, our arms wrapped protectively around each other; two buddies falling asleep together, ready to ward off each other's nightmare. What more joy could I have in my life than Jasper? What more could he give me?

I don't know. But if it included him, I couldn't wait to find out.


	27. Am I Going too Fast?

_**AN: Bella wonders if she's going too fast and session with Esme. **_

_**Chapter twenty-six: Am I Going Too Fast?**_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, February, 2011…<strong>_

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><p>I woke up alone with a note on the opposite pillow telling me that Jasper was out on the ranch and he missed me.<p>

I smiled and got up. Today, I had another my appointment with Esme, and doubt about Jasper and me were setting in. It was three main questions.

Was I moving too fast? Were things with Jasper okay? Was I doing the right thing?

Those questions stayed with me until I was finally sitting down in front of Esme for our session.

"You know, Bella, if you don't say anything then I can't help you," Esme said, pulling me out of my thoughts. I had been sitting here and staring off into space while I tried to make sense of my jumbled thoughts by myself instead of letting Esme help me like I was supposed to.

"I don't know how to say it to you."

"Won't know unless you do say something to me," she countered with an easy smile.

"Yeah, but, it's just so…" _Damn, how do I say this?_

"So what…" Esme started, but she didn't sound impatient. She sounded amused. "Why don't you start at the beginning?"

"I came!" I blurted out and then slapped my hand over my mouth and clamped my eyes shut.

"You came?" Esme said confusedly. Oh shit, she didn't get it so I wouldn't have to say again. This was about her nephew. I didn't want to say it again.

"Oh God, I can't share this with you." I mumbled, looking away from her and twisting my fingers.

When I said that, Esme picked up on what I was saying. "Oh…oh!" she said and started to giggle.

"You're not supposed to laugh at me," I pouted and blushed.

"You're right, I shouldn't," she confessed. "But it's actually me laughing with you. Bella, I'm here for you. I'm well aware that Jasper is my nephew and I've already prepared myself to hear certain things. So if you came in here, and said, you did it in a batch of honey, I'll have to look passed the fact that I changed his diaper when he was a baby and moved on."

"Because of me?"

"Yes," Esme said sincerely. "I'm here to help you. And now, Jasper is a part of what we'll talk about."

"Thank you," I sighed. I was relieved that I could talk to Esme and not feel weird about it.

"So how do you feel about taking such a progressive step with Jasper?"

"Happy."

"That's good, but why?"

"Why?" I asked confusedly.

"Yes," Esme stated. "You're happy, but why? What makes this time so different?"

She wanted me to elaborate and I had only one answer for her. "Because it wasn't forced or unwanted."

"Explain that feeling to me, Bella," Esme said seriously.

"With James, it felt forced," I chuckled darkly and went on, "It _was_ forced. But mostly, I felt disgusted with myself."

"Why?"

"Because my body responded to the things they did to me or forced me to do them. Like when I was with Victoria. I don't…I didn't understand why my body would respond because I had held no sexual interests toward women, so it confused me."

"And the fact that James was forcing you to do this made you question yourself," Esme stated as if she understood.

"Exactly," I breathed.

Esme continued with the questions I used to ask myself. "Were you changing because of him? Did you have some underlining desire toward women?"

"Yes, that's exactly how I felt," I said, relieved that she got it.

"Bella, you said that you never had any sexual attraction toward women before Victoria, right?"

"Yes." Where was Esme going with this?

"Good, now understand this. Bella, trauma is a helluva thing. Sometimes, it's very difficult time in a victim's life. Again, we've covered that you did what was necessary to survive. And Victoria was a part of that. She was also a player in your abuse, so pleasing her told you that you would be okay; you would stay alive for another day."

I started crying, but quickly wiped the tears away. I wanted to get this. I wanted Esme to help understand that time. "Yes. I thought that if I did it, they wouldn't hurt me anymore."

"So to be with a man, who isn't hurting you, but instead wants to please you, you feel happy, and I'm glad you can classify and understand that emotion, because it's very tricky."

"I still have doubts."

"And that's good, in your case, they help you…for now," Esme said with a small grin. "You're human and you will doubt. How can you not? Look what you've been through. But life is easier with trust. But, trust must be earned. And I'm glad that Jasper isn't only taking what he wants out of the situation, but that your needs are being met as well. You're doing very well, Bella. You're pinpointing emotions, and observing and taking time to understand them whether they're good or bad."

"Thank you," I smiled.

"Good, now the other night when Jasper woke up and grabbed your neck, how did you feel?" I knew Esme would go here and I let her that I anticipated this.

"I was wondering when you'd ask that."

She chuckled. "Well, would you care to tell me?"

I sighed and thought back to that night. "I should have been scared, but oddly, I wasn't. Not in the way I expected to be."

"How did you expect to be scared?"

"Like how I was with James," I said. "I expected to tremble beyond control. I should've been frozen on the spot and started shivering in fear."

"But?" Esme questioned.

"None of that. The fear I felt…it wasn't only for me; it was for Jasper. I also felt a little disappointment and sympathy," I explained and Esme nodded. "I guess because he'd found out that Vicky had been close by in the day and he went up to Houston and waited until she left, so I felt like I contributed to his relapse."

"Like your life caused his nightmare?" Esme asked.

"Yes," I answered, but not without my own question. "Do you think it did?"

"It's a possibility but…" Esme left the question hanging with a small grin. I knew what she was trying to say. Only Jasper could tell me that if I was willing to ask him.

"What happened once he realized it was you?" Esme said, moving on.

"He was apologetic, frightened, he was so unlike the Jasper I'd come to know."

"Did that make you lose confidence in his ability to protect you?" Esme inquired in an inquisitive tone. She wanted to know if I was going to run.

"No," I said truthfully. "I should have, but no. I felt like it was my turn to watch out for him. It sounds crazy, but it's how I felt. Before I even learned from Rose how Jasper loved to protect the ones he loved, I felt this immense need to watch out for him. And the next day, when he looked so small, so innocent, so scared, all I wanted was for him to not push me away."

"But he fought you?"

"Yeah," I smiled.

"You showed defiance," Esme stated.

"Yes. He needed to see it."

Esme wrote something down. "Were you angry with him?"

"For what?"

"For not telling you that he'd also suffered from PTSD?"

"A little bit, but then, I remembered the night we had that long talk after I'd passed out in the day during our session, and Jasper wanted to tell me something, but he never got the chance."

"Do you think that was it?"

"Yes," I replied.

Esme smiled wrote something else down. "How do you feel, knowing that Jasper truly understands what you're going through; seeing as you both have the same condition?"

"Well, right now, I consider it a good thing."

Esme smiled. "Why?"

"He gets it. He knows the fear. And with me knowing what he went through with Ricky, I realized he understands a bit of my pain. He knows what it feels like to be held and taunted and tortured. He knows what haunts me. I know what haunts him. I see Jasper as a blessing," I laughed with tears in my eyes. "I see him as something I didn't know I'd get and it makes me nervous."

"Because of what he did?"

"You're going after my anger, Esme." I called her out on it and she smiled guiltily.

"Maybe I am," she said smugly. "I heard and saw your willingness to protect Jasper. I want to see that brave girl again. She mostly comes out when she's angry."

"Not only then," I corrected her. "When I'm happy too."

"That's wonderful!" Esme cheered.

"What Jasper did to Ricky was to help his mother. He wasn't about to lose Maria."

"You have no qualms about his decision to kill a person?"

"I have thought about killing James in his sleep more times than I could remember," I laughed. "But I couldn't. I was too afraid." Esme was about to say something, but I wasn't finished. "Yes, what Jasper did was wrong, but if I were in his shoes, I don't think I would have made a different choice."

"You would do what needed to be done," Esme said.

"Yes," I said with conviction.

Esme nodded and scribbled something down. "How are things with Jasper on this venture of taking on a relationship?"

I smiled at the thought of our first date and grateful that Esme was leaving James and Ricky behind. "We had our first date yesterday."

"Which led to sex?" Esme questioned.

"Oh! We didn't have sex." I blushed.

"Oh, but you said you came?"

"Not through intercourse," I said, blushing even harder as Esme ducked her head and blushed as well, making us both of us laugh.

"Well, I'm very happy that you're both moving forward."

Our session turned into small talk while Esme reviewed my journal entries and questioned me about them. She concluded our session with the thought that I could take Jasper along for a joint session or two in the future. I told her I was now in love with the 'future' when it came to Jasper. We parted company around lunchtime but I wanted to see him and I know he was at his medical practice today.

Althea greeted me cheerily as did Emmett while the many women waiting, scowled at me. Fortunately, I didn't give a shit. But Althea was a troublemaker.

As soon as Jasper's office door opened, she got up and grabbed my hand, pulling me down the hall as he exited with a patient. The woman standing there, was staring at him, and willing him to look up from her chart. But when he did, his bright eyes met mine and he stumbled over his words.

Althea stepped in and took the chart from him and pushed me to him; much to the woman's dismay. "Dr. Whitlock, this poor young lady is in dire need of your assistance. Please, do what you must." She batted her eyelashes at us and then instructed the scowling woman to follow her.

Jasper escorted me in his office where we both burst out into a fit of laughter at Althea's antics. "She's always watching out of me," he told me.

I didn't say anything in return. Yes, I was thankful to Althea. But I just wanted to admire him for a minute and remind myself of how lucky I was. God, he looked so good in his scrubs.

"Bella?" he said, and I still didn't answer. At least, not verbally.

I walked over to Jasper and pulled him into a hard kiss and by the time we came up for air, his files were scattered, his phones were on the floor, and we were sprawled out on the floor, catching our breath. I didn't even know how we ended up down here, with Jasper's hard body lodged between my thighs, but I loved it.

A knock at the door made us jump up and started straighten things. But Emmett wasn't having that. He opened the door and smirked while he took in our appearance. "Nothing like love in the afternoon," he commented, making me blush.

"Get out," Jasper demanded, making me laugh.

"So grumpy," Emmett teased and shut the door.

"I'm sorry about that," Jasper said.

"It's fine. I'm learning to deal with it."

I walked out Jasper's office after that with my head held high and a smug smile on my face that I could affect my boyfriend that much. Jasper called me as soon as I got in the car. "I'll see you at home, darlin'," he growled, ruining my panties even more so than he already had in his office with his sultry tone.

Today was a very good day. My doubts had flown away after my session and I saw things in a better light. I wasn't moving too fast. I was right on track. I was regaining what should have been mine long ago. And with Jasper, it was going to get even better.


	28. He said She said

_**AN: During Bella's bath, she reminisces on her day while Jasper and the guys go hunting. **_

_**Chapter twenty-seven: He Said/She Said**_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, February, 2011…<strong>_

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><p>I turned the water off and stripped out of my robe. I cranked my neck, and rubbed the sore spot there before sweeping my hair up in a messy bun. I carefully stepped into the warm water and hissed in pleasure as I sank down into its warmth; letting it caress me like a lover's embrace. It made me miss Jasper even more. But I was thankfully for his suggesting this time alone.<p>

_It was a day off for him and Emmett and they were out hunting with Edward. Emmett came over early this morning and declared it' man time'. Emmett said the guys needed to get away from us girls for a while. We were crazy. I laughed at his statement but Rose and Tanya pouted. They said I was becoming one of the guys. Unfortunately, they said it in Edward's earshot and he, in turn, told Jasper he always knew he was gay. _

_I gave him the middle finger, making everyone laugh. Then Edward, not being able to stop causing trouble, asked me if I was going to miss him. Jasper frowned at him and I gave him the finger again, making everyone double over in laughter. Emmett and Jasper were proud of me. _

The sweet scent of my bath oils and candles were an added enhancement to an already relaxing endeavor. Strawberry and freesia had become my favorite scent and a bonus was that Jasper loved it on me. The sweet aroma assaulted my nose and left me in a state of utter peace. This was heaven.

_Before the guys left, I gave them a batch of my oatmeal cookies and then shoved them out the door after Jasper stole a kiss, causing Em and Edward to gag and then make fun of him. I laughed and shut the door in their faces. I was more than ready for my relaxing day. _

_It was my day off and I wanted to enjoy it. I had decided on a nice long bath, but after I went into town. I wanted to go shopping. I wanted to experience it by myself and just have fun doing it. I was no longer under James' thumb or supervision and I wanted the one thing that used drive fear in me to now make me happy. _

_So I took a quick shower and got dressed. Tanya and Rose had already left for the main house. They had been discussing Rose's wedding to Emmett this morning. And since Sue and I had already been paid, it was time for me to venture out on a shopping trip of my very own. _

_My first stop was the bank; where I made a deposit. Then, I did a little shopping. I picked up mostly fun stuff and a few clothing items of my own. Rose had bought my first set, but I wanted to buy some for myself. _

_For lunch, I went to a nice little restaurant on Main Street. Lunch was amazing; especially when Jasper called me and I swooned through most of the call. His voice turned me to goo. Even though Emmett and Edward were in the background teasing him the entire time. But Jasper didn't care and neither did I. _

_I loved how he made me feel. _

_When I got home – I loved being comfortable enough to think of Jasper's house as 'home' – I walked right into Tanya. "Oooh, you went shopping. Let me see!" She grabbed my bags and stalked off to the living room with me trailing behind her. _

"_Can I have my bags please?" I didn't see why I bother to ask, because my things were now on the sofa, and Tanya was looking up at me pointedly. _

"_Bella, where's the lingerie?" _

_I thought she was joking so I laughed. "What?" _

_She raised her eyebrows and enunciated, "Where…is…the…lingerie?" _

I chuckled to myself and sank further down in the water, fully submerging myself while thinking about Tanya's explanation.

"_Bella, you can't go shopping for toothpaste and maybe throw in a Stetson, I love the color by the way, but that's beside the point," she said in a single breath. "You have to throw in the lingerie every now and then. You know, those little things that will drive Jasper mad. They'll make him want to rip 'em off of you with his teeth." _

"_Tanya, he's your cousin!" Was she really saying this to me?_

"_And a guy," she bounced back. Yep, she was serious. Tanya was telling me to wear prerogative clothing around her cousin and drive him mad._

"_Tanya, we're not having…." _

"_Sex?" Tanya said. "Oh, I know that! But there is nothing wrong with some well thought out foreplay. Imagine how great the sex will be." She clapped her hands together like a devious little thing as she planned out Jasper and mine's love life._

"_Can I have my things please?" I said and Tanya laughed. _

"_Oh, Bella, you know I'm right, come on let's go play in my closet." _

_My things and I were dragged upstairs to Tanya's room, or more importantly, her closet where she showed me lingerie and gave me tips. Actually, I had to admit, they were pretty good tips. And I think I might be trying them out in the future. _

I sat up in the water and opened my eyes with a sigh. I felt a longing. I missed Jasper, but I couldn't help but think about Tanya and what she told me.

_When Tanya and I got to talking, she was very candid about her marriage and the way it ended. I could hear how sad she was to find out that Paul had been cheating on her, and secretly, as she told me, she was running away. _

"_I couldn't stand being around him anymore, Bella," she sighed sadly. We were sitting on her bed. And she had been crying. _

"_So you came to Jasper," I said._

"_Yeah," she smiled. "I love Rose and my aunt. But Jasper and I have always been close. He's like the brother I always wanted."_

"_That's great."_

"_You're good for him, you know," she stated. "I could see how happy he was at Christmas and when I got here, he was flustered. But that was because you guys were making out," she added quickly._

_I laughed and admitted the truth. "Yeah." _

_We had a good laugh and then she started to talk about Edward. About the great friend he has been. I wanted to tell her how Edward really felt about her, but it wasn't my place. _

_After our talk, we went over to the main house where I was grilled about my date with Jasper by Sue, Rose and Maria. Tanya had already learned the 'pg' version of things and I was telling them the same thing. _

"_So how was it?" Sue asked. _

"_My date?"_

"_Duh!" Rose said, rolling her eyes and laughing when I scowled at her. _

"_It was the most wonderful first date I ever had."_

"_What do you mean first date?" Maria asked, before jumping to the wrong conclusion. "Oh! You mean with my son." _

_I blushed and corrected her. "No, I mean, ever."_

_Everyone grew silent. "Bella, you'd never been on a date?" Tanya asked sadly. _

"_No." _

"_What about that awful ex?" Tanya asked. That's right. I hadn't told her everything about James. But I wanted to. I really liked Tanya and she had just shared her life with me. "Didn't he take you on dates?" _

_Maria, Sue and Rose all exchanged sad looks while I turned to Tanya and sighed, ready to explain. "You need to learn the truth about James Carter, Tanya." She looked at me expectantly. "First of all, I'm still married to him. And why? Is because I ran away from him because he was abusing me." Tanya's hand flew to her mouth and I went on, "I was ridiculed every day, and I thought I would die there, Tanya. But my stepdad found out and helped me escape." _

"_So you just ran here?" she asked sadly. _

"_I didn't know where I was running," I explained. "It just had to be far from Sacramento, California."_

"_I'm so sorry, Bella." Tanya pulled me into a tight hug. "And I'm so happy for you and Jasper."_

_We all got tear eyed but quickly dried them and went on talking. The conversation thankfully moved from me to Rose's wedding, which I was more than welcomed to attend. I told them I'd think about it. But I knew I wanted to go. Ideas were flying around the room and it was fun to see them brainstorm. Rose told us that she couldn't wait to see her dress and Maria said she couldn't wait to get rid of Alice. And Tanya wanted to run Alice over with her car. See? Fun. _

"_What about Jasper?" Alice asked, scowling at me. _

"_Nothing that concerns you anymore," Tanya answered harshly. _

"_How is your husband?" Alice asked Tanya in a sickening sugary tone. _

_Tanya laughed broadly. "Great. He's now free for skanks like you. I've moved up." _

_Tanya didn't know how true that was. I hoped Edward talked to Jasper today. _

"_Ha!" Alice laughed and turned her attention to Rose, telling her about the dress and that it will be ready by the end of this month and will be in Henderson by the first week of March. _

_But any thoughts of her leaving without bothering me were dashed when she said, "My, my, look who's sitting at the table and not cleaning it?" she sneered down at me like she was looking at a piece of garbage. _

"_Bella," Sue whispered, but she didn't have to warn me, I wasn't about to let Alice get to me. Not today. It had been a great day so far and I was looking forward to Jasper's return to make it an even better night. _

"_What else do you need, Alice?" Rose said, stepping in as Tanya slowly rose from her chair. Alice, who was too busy leering at me, was clueless to Tanya's intent. But we could all see that if Alice said one more word, Tanya was going to do something. _

"_Oh, Rosalie, I just wanted you to know that even though things between Jasper and me are not so great right now, and though, I'm heartbroken by his betrayal…" she glanced at me when she said this, like she wasn't the one who cheated on Jasper. "I've always thought of you as such a great person, Rosalie, and that's why I won't let anything get in the way of you having the perfect wedding!" _

"_That's wonderful, Alice," Rose said gloomily. _

"_Good!" Alice cheered, giving me what she believed to be a triumphant look seeing as Rose didn't deny her and Jasper being on the 'outs'. But that didn't bother me. I was in love with Jasper and him with me. And Alice wasn't about to take that away from me. _

"_I have to go," I told everyone and they thought that was a good idea. "I'll see you later or tomorrow." Tanya and Sue made wolf whistles at me making me laugh. Maria was too angry and Rose just nodded. Her happy mood had been zapped with Alice's appearance. _

_I walked out, intent on heading back over to Jasper's for the bath he'd suggested; figuring I needed that level of relaxation more now than ever. But Alice wasn't through with me. She caught up to me at Jasper's front door. "So…are you enjoying your time here because it doesn't look like you're here to work," she said snidely. _

_I chuckled. "What do you want?"_

"_Wow, fucking your boss really does wonders for the ego," she giggled mirthlessly. _

"_Would you like me to do something for you, Ma'am?"_

"_Yes," she hissed, "Disappear. Jasper doesn't want you. You're nothing but a hole for him to stick his dick in, and by the looks of it, you're probably a bad fuck too." I wanted to pull my fist back and let it fly, but I held my ground. I won't give her the satisfaction of thinking she was getting to me. "I won't be out of his life forever, you little bitch. He'll come back to me."_

_I hold down my temper and let her words roll of me. Esme said she loved when I expressed my anger but now wasn't the time for that. Instead, I wanted to leave Alice baffled and frustrated so I teased her. "If there isn't anything you need, Ma'am, then goodbye." _

_Alice gasped in shock as I opened the door, stepped inside, and slammed it in her face. _

The water felt good. But my mind and body were yearning for Jasper.

_**Jasper **_

"You better start fucking her soon," Emmett said while he lined up his shot.

"Why you gotta be so crass?"

The game today was rabbit. And it had been a good hunt so far.

"Why do you have to be so gay?" Edward asked me, making me wonder why I re-thought shooting him a minute ago. "Are you deliberate trying to make this easy for me?"

"Back the fuck off, _Eddie_." I growled at him making him scowl at the use of the name. He always hated nicknames; especially when people shortened _his_ name.

"Nice one, _Jazz,_ but Bella will only be interested for so long," he said, wiping the scowl off of his face and replacing it with one of those smirks that made me want to punch him in the face.

"Don't test me, Cullen."

He scoffed at me and Emmett told us to shut the fuck up and don't scare off his prey.

After he bagged his kill, he asked, "So how was the date?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because Rose is excited that you're dating Bella. She won't shut up about it. While I want you to know that if you break Bella's heart, I'll break your neck. She's a great girl."

Edward laughed before I warned him again to stay away from Bella.

"What if she can't stay away from me?" he challenged and that did it. I moved to punch him in the face but Emmett blocked me.

"Alright, alright, Jasper, I'm fucking kidding!" Edward said in a panicked tone. The fuck realized that I was serious and wanted me to back down. "It's all just a game, alright? I told Bella that and she insisted I tell you the truth. But I was playing stubborn and thought I could drag this out some more. I'm just fucking with you."

Emmett and I looked at each other. "What do you mean?" Emmett asked while I tried to push him out of my way so I could knock Edward on his ass for bringing Bella into his game.

"Yeah," I said, trying to get around Emmett to give Edward a black eye. "What do you mean and why would Bella need to convince you to tell me the truth?" Although, I remembered Bella mentioning something about this on our date, I still wanted to hurt Edward.

"Because she wormed it out of me," he pouted. "Your girl is good. She's nice too. Nothing like Alice," he sneered. "I really like Bella. I loved how much she cares for you. Look how she watched out for you the other day. I was trying to give you space, like I always had when you were like that…" I stopped fighting Emmett and Emmett stopped blocking me as Edward went on, "But Bella, she stood up to us, to you! She made us see that we should stop staying away when you have an attack and be there for you; sometimes whether you like it or not."

"What are you getting at?" I asked. I understand what he was saying and I loved that Bella helped me. But that didn't tell me what I wanted to know.

Edward sighed and moved over to a tree, leaning up against it. He closed his eyes for a minute and then smiled when he reopened them. "For years, I watched her, Jasper. I liked her. I just didn't know how to be…how to act…I mean, you had it down to a science, man. Girls, they fell for your charm…"

"So? they fell for yours too. But I still don't understand what you're getting at."

"I'm getting to it," Edward said.

"Get there faster," Emmett encouraged. "We're burning daylight here."

I chuckled and Edward continued, "Well, when Bella and I talked the other day, she wanted to know why I was teasing you, Jasper. She got pissed at me for it and then she got into my head after told her I'd be there for her too."

That didn't sit well with me and I started to advance on him. Edward quickly moved away from the tree and started backing away from me. "What the hell do you mean you'll be there for her?"

Edward got nervous and started rambling. It was very rare to see the well spoken Edward, disheveled, nervous, and rambling. He must have something big to confess. "I'm here to take Paul's place on the legal team, remember? So, if you want me to, I'll help Bella in any way I can. Jasper, listen, I don't want Bella. This isn't college. I get that. I want…"

"Want what?!" I yelled.

"I want Tanya! I like Tanya. I always had," Edward said with a sigh of relief.

It wasn't registering to me right away what he'd just said. I was still trying to wrap my mind around it while Emmett was laughing his ass off and telling Edward he was a dead man. Edward turned green. And while I was happy this isn't a game to him and he wasn't after Bella, but what did he mean… "Wait, what?"

"I want Tanya," he repeated carefully and I advanced some more; making him back up some more.

"Tanya? My cousin, Tanya?"

"Yes," he said, catching his breath as Emmett shook his head and laughed, "I really…I don't know. I have never been baffled by a girl before, Jasper. But Tanya, she's everything. She's…I…I can't explain it. I've been fighting it. I did! But I couldn't forget her. I've been head over heels for her for as long as I can remember."

"Want to be where she is and shit," Emmett finished for him and my eyes snapped at him. This wasn't helping me.

"Yes!" Edward said happily. "That's exactly how I feel. It's why I represented her for free in her divorce. It's why I'm here, besides to meet Bella because Peter couldn't stop talking about how great she's been for you, even though she just came into your life."

"My cousin, Tanya?" I seemed to be stuck on that point.

"Yes," Edward smiled with relief in his eyes, "Your cousin, Tanya. I'm head over heels for her."

And that was when I punched him in the face.

"What the fuck?!" Edward shouted, holding his nose.

"I think Jasper finally gets it," Emmett laughed.

"Yeah, I fucking do, and stay the fuck away from my cousin!"

"But I want to be with her," Edward whined and I hit him again in the nose. "Fuck!" He was screaming and jumping up and down all over the place. "What's wrong with you?!"

"When it comes to my cousin, keep your dick in your pants and away from my cousin or I'll cut it off!" I threatened.

Emmett couldn't stop laughing. "Okay, fight's over."

Emmett pulled me and Edward over to his truck, while Edward tried to play stubborn. "Jasper, listen, Tanya and I are grown people and I just thought that it would be decent of me to let you know that I will be confessing this to her."

That wasn't a good move on his part and even Emmett was already laughing in anticipation before I even hit him again.

Edward screamed as my fist connected with his nose again. "Are you trying to break my nose?" he tried to snarled at me, but it sounded more nasal than anything else.

"So? He can fix it," Emmett interjected.

"Oh yeah?" Edward said nasally. "I'll sue you if you hit me again, Jasper."

I hit him again and then got in the truck beside a cackling Emmett. I looked up at Edward through the rear view mirror as he got in the back, scowling at me with his bloody nose.

"Stay away from Tanya."

_**Bella **_

The sounds of Sade filled my bathroom and Jasper was filling my thoughts. I couldn't get him out off my mind. And I didn't want to.

My hand slowly ran across my stomach as I thought about his smile, his laugh, that smoldering look he'd get in his eyes when he was looking at me sometimes. It was all so appealing. And while I let the thoughts of Jasper and the sounds of Sade lulled me into another world, a fantasy developed in my mind.

Jasper was here in the tub with me. He was sitting at the other end of it with that sexy smirk on his lips. He had my feet on his hard chest, and he was kissing up my leg. With each place he kissed, he drew closer to where I wanted him.

His hand climbed higher and higher until his long fingers were teasing my heated center. I was panting and he lingered there for a minute, his finger teasing my slit, gently running along the outside of my pussy while I writhed under his touch. He smirked and torturously asked me, "Do you want me, Bella?" I could hardly breathe much less answer him verbally so I nodded. But it wasn't enough for Dream Jasper. He ran his finger along my slit and then barely dipped it inside of me and groaned, "So fucking tight, baby…but you have to say it, Bella."

"Yes," I breathed. "I want you."

Dream Jasper smiled then and dipped his finger inside me. He pushed it in and out at a slow pace that was nothing short of maddening. "Ungh…Jasper." I was trying to keep my eyes open, but it was impossible. The intensity of his gaze warmed my soul. His finger delved inside of me and I lifted my hips to meet each thrust, but I wanted more. I wanted him inside of me.

"Jasper…" I moaned, leaning my head, ready to fall into rapture. "Jasper…"

He pushed another finger into me. My back arched as I tightened around his digits. The feel of his long fingers making me wonder how _he_ would feel inside me. "Jasper…"

"Bella…" His voice was so near; it was almost as if it was in my ear. "Bella…" The music was so soothing as I drove my fingers into me, trying to imitate Dream Jasper's movements. "Bella…" He sounded so close.

"Jasper…"

"Bella, I'm right here."

That sounded too real and I opened my eyes and found myself staring into to a heavy panting Jasper's darkened eyes.


	29. Picturesque

_**AN: Jasper and Bella take that step. **_

_**Chapter twenty eight: Picturesque**_

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><p><em><strong>This chapter got away from me. I loved writing it so much. I didn't want to stop.<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Jasper, February, 2011…<strong>_

I knocked, but Bella didn't answer. I could hear the music playing and I smiled. I was glad she took my advice on having a relaxing bath; even if her relaxation wasn't the only reason I suggested that.

Truthfully, I had been having fantasies about Bella and me making love in that tub. And just the thought of her in there, naked, right now, was killing me. The dreams have been so fucking vivid. And I wanted them to be real.

I wanted to turn and walk away but I wanted Bella to know I was back. "Bella?" I called through the door. The music was low enough for her to hear me. "Bella?" I tried again but got no answer. Maybe she drifted off in the tub.

I was about to move away from the door, when I heard it…"Jasper…"

That was my name! I turned back to the door. I heard my name and it was in a moan.

My body was in some sort of alert mode when it came to bella and immediately I thought she was hurt. Maybe she fell.

I turned the knob, and the door was open so I went in. But what I saw pushed my fear aside and awakened my desire.

There, my perfect girl was, her eyes tightly closed with an edge of concentration etched across her brows as her head lulled back, and she was crying…no, moaning for me.

I should walk away. I was fighting with myself to walk away. She didn't even know I was here. I could spare her the embarrassment of knowing I'd seen her do this; touch herself while fantasizing about me, but I couldn't turn away. I couldn't will my body to move. I was too in love with the way she moaned my name. We both wanted each other too much for me to let this opportunity pass. I couldn't stand it. I needed Bella. Only she could tell me to go right now.

I lost all rationality and stepped closer to the tub, kneeling down beside it. Bella's eyes were screwed shut and her hand was working under the lapping water. She moaned my name again and I licked my lips and felt my cock harden; pressing up against my jeans and begging for release.

I saw Bella's hand and grew jealous of it. I wanted to be the one to do that. I wanted it to be my fingers dipping into her wet pussy and pushing her closer to the edge. I wanted to taste her, fuck her, make love. And I was getting harder with every thought I had. I wanted to take her in every room of this house. I wanted to take her in positions that she had never experienced before. I wanted to make her scream in pleasure until she was hoarse.

When I couldn't stand it anymore, I whispered her name. "Bella…" She didn't acknowledge me. "Bella…" She moaned again. Maybe she thought I was a dream. "Bella…" I said for the third time and her eyes popped open and she stared up at me. Thos sable orbs had me frozen under their gaze as Bella slowly realized that I wasn't a figment of her imagination.

"Jasper…" she breathed; her darkened eyes taking me in. I glanced at her hand under the water, her fingers still inside her, and I let out a moan of my own. Bella's chest was rising and falling with heavy breaths. "Jasper…" she moaned and arched; closing her eyes, her head falling back.

Not this time. I couldn't do it. I couldn't wait anymore. We needed this. We needed something.

I moved closer to her, gripping her hair tightly and making her eyes pop open. She gasped and then moaned as I pulled her close and crashed her lips to mine. The kiss was hot, sweet, needy, and scorching. We moaned into each other's mouths. Our tongues tangled while my hand dipped into the water, taking one of Bella's breasts in hand. I palmed it, massaged it and ran my thumb over the tight nipple. Bella moaned loud and arched into my touch.

"Jasper…please…" It wasn't enough for neither of us. Bella was wondrous. Her naked body was picturesque; the embodiment of perfection. She was too sexy, alluring, and every ounce of me wanted me to fuck her in this tub.

"Jasper…please…I need you," she moaned against my mouth and I tore my lips from hers and got up and without a second thought, and with her eyes on me, I climbed into the tub.

Water splashed and overflowed the tub's edges but we didn't care. Bella laughed and dragged me to her lips and devoured my mouth. I wrapped her legs around me and held her to me while our tongues glided over one another's. I couldn't get enough and nothing else mattered in this moment.

"Jasper…" she moaned, when my mouth moved to her neck, grazing her tender flesh with my teeth and then sucking and biting it. I marked her while cupping her breast; squeezing the sensual, tight nubs. "Jasper…" My name never sounded so sweet.

Water sloshed around us, making us laugh while we kissed and touched. Bella's hands were brave. They dipped under my shirt and ran up and down between my back and over my ass. We were making a mess and neither of us gave a fuck.

I moved down her body to focus my attention on her breasts. They were perfect. The rosy peaks were hardened and mouthwatering. I couldn't resist and I didn't. I leaned forward and took a nipple in my mouth, sucking and nipping at it. Bella groaned my name and grasped my hair tightly, pushing her chest into my face.

I lavished her breasts with the attention they both deserved while running a hand down her down her body; heading to where I wanted to be the most.

She trembled and moaned my name when I made contact. She pushed up into me when I stroked her clit and whispered my name with fervor, "Jasper…"

"Mmm…" I moaned, dipping a finger inside of her. It was fucking amazing. She was so tight and warm. And again, I couldn't think about anything but fucking her. This was too much. How would I pull back? How would I stop us from going further?

"Jasper!" Bella pushed up against me again; her eyes tightly shut and her body, pleading. She bit her bottom lip and I groaned and pushed another finger inside of her. "Feels so good, Jasper…uuhh…"

Bella grounded on my hand, slightly rocking her hips while her warm little center tightened around my digits. She panted and moaned for me while I worked her over. My lips moving to her ear and ordering her to say my name again. I loved hearing it. "Say my name again, Bella. Let me hear you, Darlin', say my name, baby."

I worked a third finger in her and she screamed it, "Jasper! Ugh! Jasper!"

I smiled against her neck and pushed my fingers harder inside of her. "Tell me how it feels, baby."

"So good."

"More." _I wanted more. _

"I want more, Jasper," she gasped. I was pushing her closer to her end. I could feel her tight walls clenching around my fingers as I stroked and thrust my fingers as deep as they could go.

"Tell me what you want," I groaned in her ear; my own desire driving me closer to the edge as well. _What the fuck? I wasn't even inside of her!_ But I was almost there.

"You!" Bella hollered. "I want you, Jasper. I want to feel…ugh…you. I want you to…mmm…me…" Her words were coming out choppy and incoherent.

"I want you too," I whispered and then licked her neck. "I want to fuck you, Bella. I want to feel your tight little pussy wrapped around my dick. I want to fuck you so bad it hurts."

She moaned my name. Her breath heavy. Her body writhing. "Don't stop, Jasper. Please…don't stop."

"Come for me, Bella," I countered. "Let me feel you, darlin'."

Her eyes snapped open and stared straight into mine. "Let me feel you."

I almost came right then. Even my movement faltered when she said that. But Bella was serious. She moved her shaky hands to the front of my jeans and pulled on them. I eased up enough to give her access and she opened my fly and pushed a hand down in my soaked underwear, grabbing a hold of my hardened length.

I squeezed my eyes shut and my hand and fingers stilled. It was too much and everything I wanted all at once. And when my eyes snapped open, I moved with a renewed effort. We touched each other; our eyes holding each other's gaze and kisses passing between us.

It was everything we wanted and needed. Our lips smacked. Our tongues reveled. And we stilled and came, moaning loudly before our bodies went limp. We settled in the water until it went cold and then we got out. Bella switched off her music and I pulled off my wet clothes. She grabbed some towels and turned to me. She gave me a once over and blushed.

"We already seen too much of each other for that, don't you think?" She blushed anyways and I loved it.

"We have, haven't we?" she asked when she left her admiration behind to step closer to me.

I pulled her into my arms, loving the feel of every bit of her on me, while making her squeal and giggle. "Yes, ma'am, we have."

Our bodies were pressed close and we were breathing heavily. If we didn't back off, things would get heated again.

Bella was the stronger of the two of us. She stepped out of my embrace. "We should…umm…get dressed and clean this up and go downstairs before Tanya comes up here and catches us."

"I don't really care." I started to kiss and nip my way down her neck, making her moan and her head fell back giving me better access.

"Jasper…really, we should go," she whined but gripped my hair and pulled me closer to her. If I didn't listen, I would take her right here.

Moving away, I gathered enough to say, "We should go."

Bella turned and smiled, ducking her head into my chest to hide her adorable blush. But I could feel it on my skin.

Together, we drained the tub and wiped down the floor with the towels. I told Bella to go and get some clothes on and I'll place new towels in the bathroom. She did as I said.

Once she was gone, I smiled and sighed in disbelief. I couldn't believe what we had done. This was a great step forward and I planned on making it as pleasurable for Bella as I possibly could.

After wrapping my towel around my waist, I placed new towels in the bathroom and then took Bella's apparent new speakers and her IPOD to her. She was dressed and I pouted. She smiled and accepted her music with a kiss. And when we pulled away, I realized that she was eyeing my towel with her own pout. I knew how she felt. The hunger for her was lingering beneath the surface.

"Come with me," I said to her as she bit her bottom lip and then smiled up at me before letting me pull her to my room.

The tension between us and the need to be together was still affecting us. And as soon as I closed my bedroom door, I had Bella up against it in an unhurried kiss. She grasped my hair and I lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I ground my hard cock into her.

"Want you…" she whispered against my mouth.

"Need you…" I said on hers.

I moved us away from the door while we explored each other's mouth. I led us over to the bed and laid Bella down on it. There was so much love and trust in her eyes, it warmed my soul.

"I want you to do what you feel," I pulled away and stood between her legs and said. "I want you to show me what you're thinking."

She got up, blushing red as she bit her lip and stared at me quizzically. I knew she knew what she wanted and I wanted her to show me. This would go as far as Bella wanted. I would give her anything.

Her smoky eyes were smoldering. "Go ahead," I encouraged her while her eyes ran up and down my body.

"And do what?" she asked in wonder and nervousness.

I caressed her soft cheek and she leaned into my touch. "Bella, do what you feel."

She sat back down on the edge of the bed and pulled me close. She kept her hands on my hips and I shuddered beneath her touch. I closed my eyes and just felt.

Bella started off slowly; exploring every bit of me. She touched me all over and I melted beneath her fingertips. She ran her hands along my sides, up my arms, and across my chest. She walked around me and stood behind me. She pulled my towel away and ran her hands down my back, over my ass and back up to the back of my neck. She kissed between my shoulder blades and licked and sucked my neck. I grew hard and she noticed. She stepped back in front of me and I opened my eyes to her. She took me in her hand and stroked my hard length.

"You're big," she stated with a sigh and I chuckled.

"And?"

"That's good," she smiled.

I'm glad she was comfortable enough to joke around, because her touch was driving me mad. I wanted more and I told her. "I want you."

"Not yet," she whispered.

"I know."

And I did. This just didn't feel like the right time. But I didn't want Bella to let go. Her hand was just right. "Harder…"

"I know," she whispered and pulled me into a kiss while she pumped my cock.

We edged toward the bed and Bella pulled away. "Come here."

I went to her and she pulled me on top of her and took me back in her palm. "I want you to come. I want to see it so I can imagine what it will feel like inside of me." Her words were my kryptonite and I rocked into her hand until I was moaning and coming for her. I moved off of her, lying beside her so I could catch my breath.

"What was that?" I was baffled. Dumbfounded even.

She kissed my cheek and then whispered before getting up, "That was what I felt."

"Where are you going?" She was at the door.

"Downstairs," she smiled and disappeared from my room.

I must have fallen asleep because it was late evening when I got up. I got dressed and went downstairs, walking right into Tanya who was just leaving.

"Oh, look who's awake and glowing," she teased, appraising me. "Bella!" she called and Bella peeked out from the kitchen area. "Fine job," Tanya laughed and winked at her and then ran out the door laughing when I made after her. She was carrying a plate of something smelling delicious.

I strolled to the kitchen Bella had just disappeared into and walked over to her, pulling her into my arms. I nuzzled her neck and placed a kiss just below her ear. "Mmm…missed you."

"But we were upstairs earlier," she reasoned with a sigh that turned into a moan when my hands traveled down to her hips, pulling her impossibly closer into me.

"Good idea, let's go back up there."

Bella laughed and moved out of my arms. "Dinner first and then some time together," Bella countered breathily. I loved that I was affecting her as badly as she was affecting me. "So what did you guys get?"

"Get?" I asked confusedly while openly admiring her ass.

"Hunted?" she spun around and clarified with a smirk after she caught me watching her ass as she moved around the kitchen.

_Duh, Jasper_. "Oh yeah! We got rabbits. We could've gone on longer but we got distracted."

Bella chuckled, "Oh. Did they question you about our date too?"

I see my momma and sister have been inquiring. "Yeah, you?"

Bella nodded. "Yes, we all talked; especially Tanya and me," she sighed. "I told her a little more about me."

"You let her know how you got to be here?"

Bella smiled warmly and whimsically. "Yeah. I like her, Jasper. And I want to think of her as a friend. I've never had many of those. I want to be honest with her and she makes it easy to be." Bella looked like she wanted to say something else.

"What is it?"

Her eyes spoke volumes before she bravely asked, "Did you talk to Edward?"

It was my turn to chuckle. "Yeah, he likes Tanya and I punched him in the face."

Bella's eyes widened at my revelation but that was what Edward got for spurting nonsense. "Why?"

"Because I know Edward, and I'm not about to stand aside and let him use my cousin," I told her like it was the obvious answer and it was. "Tanya's been through enough with Paul."

"I agree but I think Edward could be good for her," Bella argued. "They've got a lot in common."

I thought about that for a second and Bella was right. Tanya and Edward did have a lot in common; from the same type of sense of humor and to the same meticulous mind. But I couldn't see pass my over protectiveness. "I still think he's wrong for her."

"I think he's going to pursue her," Bella sighed with a smile. And I knew she was right again. It was like Bella had been living here all her life. She was really getting to know our mannerisms. Because she was right on point about Edward's stubborn ass. Once that dick got an idea in his head, the fucker didn't let it go until he got what he wanted.

"I know," I grumbled and turned away from Bella.

"Is that bad?" she asked worriedly and I turned back to her for a better explanation. "You make it seem like it's wrong, Jasper."

Maybe Bella needed to know what I used to be like. "I want to tell you more about myself but not yet. Just gimme a little time."

"Okay, but I'm still all for Edward and Tanya being together," she kissed me as she walked by with a smile on her way to set the dinner table.

"Yeah, but I want you to know what we're really like…at least back then."

Bella didn't look worried. She just nodded and I went and helped her.

After our dinner, we went for a walk. Bella talked and I listened. She told me some childhood memories and looked happy as she did it. We needed to talk about me but not today. I wasn't going to ruin this perfect evening with the past and what I was.

Bella mentioned Alice and I wanted to know what was said.

"She said that I was fucking you, and I wouldn't win, and she would get you back."

"She's fucking dreaming."

Bella laughed. "Well, you're a dreamy guy, Mr. Whitlock." She ruffled my hair and I growled at her, making her scream and run off with me giving chase.

**~~abt~~**

_**Next Day**_

Bella and Sue used our game to create a wonderful meal for the family. She and Bella were still cooking when Jenks called my cell. Bella looked worried but I had to ignore it and take the call outside.

Jenks wanted me to know that James had bought a ticket for Bella's mom and she went to Forks. And that killed a plan I had for Bella and her dad to meet up there. I couldn't risk it now because of Renee.

"How did Charlie handle it?"

"He ran her off, sir," Jenks relayed. "He did very well."

"Good."

After giving Jenks further instructions, we hung up and I called Charlie.

"Is she alright?" was the first thing out of his mouth.

"Yes, sir, but Renee has ruined things for me."

"How so?" Charlie queried.

"I wanted to get you two to meet up in Forks."

He sighed and I knew he was hoping for something along the line. Charlie hasn't seen his daughter since she was a little girl. "Well, work something else out and let me know. All that matters to me is that Bella's fine."

"She is, sir." I wanted to say more but I didn't know how. I wanted Charlie to know that I was falling for his daughter.

"What's been happening with her?" he asked with an edge of curiosity in his voice. He missed Bella so much.

"She's doing great. We got her into therapy with my aunt, and she's responding very well to it. Also, we're sort of…" I couldn't believe it was on the tip of my tongue but I had to let him know. However, there was something about Charlie's voice that struck up trepidation in me. I guess he was just like my dad in a way. I remembered when Emmett declared that he wanted to be with Rose, after his talk with Dad, he looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

But Dad and Charlie were just guys who loved their daughters very much and wanted to protect them.

"What, Son?"

I closed my eyes and willed myself to say the words. "We're seeing each other, sir."

Silence. All I heard was silence on the other end for a while and my fear for him rose. But Charlie qualm it when he calmly asked, "Is she…umm…happy?"

"Yes."

"You wouldn't think of hurting her, would you?" he said speedily.

I could understand his worry. "No, Charlie," I answered just as fast. "The thought of hurting Bella makes me physically ill."

"Good, because I've already got one unwanted son-in-law that I wanna kill. Don't make me think of how to make you disappear too. I've got enough shit to deal with. I don't need any more. You hear me?"

"Yes, sir."

"And Jasper?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Call me Charlie."

We talked a little more and then hung up and I went back inside. Bella was alone in the kitchen. I walked over and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Charlie says 'hi'."

"My mom went to see him, huh?" she said matter-of-factly while stirring the sweet smelling sauce that permeated the air.

"Yeah. She's spying for James."

Bella scoffed and moved out of my arms. "Keep stirring that."

I followed her instructions while Bella got mad. "I can't believe her sometimes, you know? How can she help him? She knows. She knows what happened and still…"

"She insists on being an ass?"Bella laughed but I apologized. "I'm sorry about that. She's your mother. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, she's an ass." We both laughed and Bella came over to me; switching our places by stove, with me stirring and she holding me from behind. She sighed and kissed my back through my shirt. "I'm glad you're in my life, Jasper. I'm so happy I met you."

"I'm glad you're here."

"Damn, what smells so good?" Emmett asked, strolling into the kitchen. He made Bella smile broadly and pulled her away from me and into a bear hug. I loved watching them. They were like brother and sister now. Emmett felt extremely protective of Bella. He said she was a great gal who deserved nothing but love and happiness.

"Dinner, Emmett," Sue said, walking in behind him and cocked her brow at me by the stove and smiled.

Edward was next and the crooked grin on his face told me he was up to no good. He hadn't learned a thing since I almost kicked his ass and very nearly broke his nose. He was lucky Emmett was there. "Already the little lady in the kitchen, Whitlock?" he teased, making my eyes snapped to him while I tried to remember to keeping stirring the sauce. He smiled and went on, "Tell me something, are you gonna take Bella's name too? Or will I have to call you Mr. Swan?"

"No," Bella answered defiantly making my chest puff out in pride at my girl's strong tone. "His name would do just fine."

Time stopped. I stopped stirring. Emmett spit out whatever he found to drink and Edward was too surprised to think of a comeback. And Bella simply smiled and walked away.

I huffed out the breath I didn't know I was holding and smiled in shock. Did Bella know what she just implied? Was she aware?

Sue took over the sauce from me and winked at me. I couldn't believe it. Bella just made a calm suggestion by way of a comeback that implied she had no problem marrying me.

I didn't get to discuss it with her because dinner was served not long after that and I was too lost in how great everything tasted to find the perfect time to ask Bella why she said that. I was excited about the concept of having her in my life but I needed to hear her thoughts on it.

But I kept my focus on dinner and Bella's smiling face as she was very pleased with her creation. The rabbit we'd caught had been cleaned and used to make Bella's Pan Seared Rabbit in Pear and Butter Sauce, which was sensational. It was served with the choice salad of the evening and freshly made bread along with the choice wine from our wine cellar.

When all the food was gone, everyone lingered at the table, talking. The girls talked about Rose and Emmett's wedding, giving my sister the attention she loved while I was enraptured by the brown eyed beauty seated across from me. Every time she looked at me, she would blush and it made my heart swell.

**~~abt~~**

_**The Day after Next**_

I woke up in Bella's arms and wrapped my arms around her waist. She was awake and running her hand through my hair.

"I love your hair," she mused, playing with each strand.

"I love yours more."

"We sound cheesy," she laughed.

"I don't care. I'm in love."

Bella's hand paused and she took a deep breath. I was afraid I had scared her until she said, "So am I. I love you, Jasper."

I looked up at her then from my place on her breasts. "I love you too."

I wanted a kiss 'good morning' but Bella shied away, feigning morning breath and ran. But I wasn't having it and caught her by the door, tickling her sides until she yelled 'Uncle!' and I pulled her back to the bed, kicking and screaming and laughing.

I got my kiss and then pulled her into the bathroom with me. She looked so cute as we brushed our teeth together and then she blushed all over when I asked if we could take a shower together. And she stunned me when she stripped and climbed in. Leaving me baffled.

"You coming, Cowboy?"

"Yes, Ma'am." I didn't have to be asked twice.

Our shower was filled with sweet kisses, gentle touches and Bella writhing from my fingers inside of her while I imagined what she would feel like around my cock. But there was no need for things to go any further. It just…was.

After our mutual shower, Bella was about to sneak out for fresh clothes, when I stopped her. "Do you have exercise gear?"

"Yeah," she answered suspiciously.

"Put some on and meet me in the gym."Bella nodded and left.

It was time to start her fitness and defense training. I would feel better knowing that Bella could defend herself.

I got dressed and went down to get coffee and wait for Bella in the gym. She walked in, and I met her by the door with a kiss and a cup of coffee, which she sipped while she sat and listened to me.

"I wanna teach you a few things," I said and she nodded, giving me her full attention as I went on to tell her about a few moves and then demonstrate them for her.

When Bella was ready, we did a few stretches and then started to spar. We quickly found out that Bella liked boxing. She loved the punching bag. She said hitting it made her feel good; made her feel powerful.

Bella did well for a beginner. When she and I went one on one, she threw a few good punches. I only needed to give her a few pointers.

"That was great!" Bella exclaimed breathlessly as we sat down after I called it a day and we agreed to do this a few times a week. If I was away, Momma and Sam would help her. The idea had already been run by them and they agreed to it.

We sat down with our Gatorade and she looked wonderful, breathless, and happy. But a thought ran across my mind and I immediately apologized for it. "I'm glad. I'm still for hurting you, Bella." My nightmare shouldn't have gotten so out of hand.

She stopped smiling and really looked at me. "That night is one of the reasons you're teaching me this?"

"Yes. I want you to be able to defend yourself, even against me."

"I know," she said. "But you've got to remember, it was just a fucking nightmare, Jasper. And I've had them. I know how they are. I know how troublesome and disturbing they can be. And I'm here for you, Jasper. I'm here, baby." I pulled her in my arms and hugged her close.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

The rest of the day was great. Bella and I did nothing but relax. I worked a little and she was the perfect distraction in her little shorts and top. We had lunch together, talked, laughed and watched movies. My mind was nagging me to talk to her about my past but I couldn't ruin our day.

By dinner, we were so relaxed and feeling crazy, we invited everyone from over at the main house to dinner. Bella and I made burgers and sweet potato fries. And Sue added her own touch with Watermelon coolers. Emmett and Rose brought a cherry pie for dessert.

Dinner was fun. Sue and Bella stuck together like mother and daughter. Emmett and Rose were lost in their own little world; I loved seeing my baby sister happy. Edward had Tanya were locked in a game of chess; he wasn't winning that one because Tanya was one of the best chess players I know. And Momma and I were sitting together, watching it all unfold.

"I can see Bella here, baby. I can see her here every day for as long as we live," she said to me.

"I can see her running around and laughing with our kids," I said, confessing my deepest wish to my mother.

When I didn't hear an answer, I glanced over at her and noticed tears in her eyes as Bella laughed loudly at something Sue said. "I can see that too." We didn't say anything else. We just looked on at our family.

The next morning, Bella and I woke up in her bed. We showered separately and then met downstairs and went out on the ranch together.

I pretended to need her help in barn, but she saw right through me. "You don't need me to help you with this pile of hay, do you?"

"No," I smiled, taking her into my arms. "I just wanted you close to me."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and sighed, "I like the sound of that," before pulling me closer to her enticing lips.

Our lips brushed and then we deepened the kiss to the point that we started to need more. I lifted her up and backed us up against a wall; the hay was forgotten. Bella's hot little center was right where I wanted it and I pushed myself into her. She groaned and pushed back against me.

"God…Jasper," she tore her lips from mine and said, "Fuck."

I moaned in reply and moved down to her neck, nipping it. The mark there had subsided but I was about to give her another. Bella gripped me tight, holding me to her while she grinded her body into mine. I could feel every inch of her through our clothes and I wanted them out of the way.

Our lips met again, moaning at the feeling. "Uh, Bella…" I said against her tasty lips. My cock was hard and I wanted to free him. I was hungry for Bella. I wanted to fuck her on the spot.

"Jasper!"

Momma's voice made us stop and jump as I ungracefully dropped Bella to her feet. We hurriedly fixed up ourselves. When Momma came into the stables, Bella and I were far apart and breathing heavily.

Bella tried to straighten her hair, but Momma glanced at her and then me and smirked, "I've been calling you a long time now. Sam told me that you two were working in here?" She eyed Bella with that smirk plastered on her face while she fought the giggles. I knew my momma. She knows what was happening in here.

"Yeah, we were moving this pile of hay," I said; still unable to catch my breath. Bella was fucking intoxicating. Damn, my cock twitched. I shouldn't say words like 'fuck' right now.

"Hmm…move the hay. To where?" Momma said, tapping her chin as if in question. "Into Bella's hair?"

Bella gaped and I hung my head, chuckling. "Well, umm…not really."

"Bella, stop blushing," Momma rolled her eyes and said to Bella. "I know my baby is very irresistible. I should know. I married his daddy. I'll just get someone else to help me. Jasper is…umm…busy."

"Mom, I can still help."

Momma laughed. "Help Bella, baby. She looks flustered. The poor thing must be lightheaded from all that kissing." Bella's blush deepened and Momma addressed it. "Like I said, Bella, I know. How do you think I got Jasper and Rosalie?"

Bella and Momma laughed and then I felt lightheaded. I always complained when Momma talked about her and daddy like that. I just liked to think I felt from the sky instead of my parents…doing it.

"See?" Momma rejoiced when Bella's blush began to fade. She turned on me then. "Oh, and there goes Jasper's blush," Momma said, pointing out my reddened cheeks to Bella. "He likes to think he and Rose fell from the sky. Jasper doesn't like to think about me and his daddy getting it on."

"MOM!"

She laughed and walked out of the stables; leaving Bella snickering at me.

**~~abt~~**

"Jasper, honey, I'm learning French from Bella," Sue said excitedly when I walked into the kitchen.

Bella and Sue were making dinner over at my house this evening. They were making Cauliflower, Potato and Cheddar Soup, and then a Chicken Enchilada Casserole with a Tomato and Avocado Salad, and my mouth was watering by just thinking about it. Everyone, except for Emmett and Rose, who were dining out, was over here, lounging around and waiting on dinner to be finished.

Momma was in my office and Edward and Tanya was challenging each other at chess again. He was determined to win her; which wasn't possible because my cousin was the best.

"Oh really now?" I said to Sue.

"Oui," Sue said proudly, making Bella smile.

"Merde, now I can't cuss in French," I said, making Bella giggle. The sound of it and her little looks my way made my heart thump. I loved making her laugh.

Sue turned to me with a hand on her hip and cocked brow in a motherly fashion. "You damn right you can't, and don't say 'shit' to me, boy."

Bella lost it and cracked up. Edward tried to laugh but me and Tanya were staring him down. He looked like a disciplined puppy and that made Bella laugh harder.

After dinner was served, it passed with hearty conversations. Bella's hand hardly left mine and I felt so at peace.

When dinner was over, we sent everyone to the media room and cleaned up in-between kisses. When we were through, we joined them and cuddled up together while the movie played out before us.

The movie ended and then everyone else left with chocolate chip cookies and smiles on their faces. Bella and I were about to head upstairs with cookies when Jenks called.

I took the call in my office and Bella went to the kitchen.

Jenks' update was good. Everyone close to Bella was safe. But I wasn't about to relax until James was out of her life for good and she didn't have to hide anymore.

We said our goodbyes and Bella appeared at my office door with a big cookie in hand. She looked as delicious as the cookie. Her smile was breathtaking and those little shorts she was wearing were going to make my heart stop. I fucking loved seeing her legs.

I wanted to drag her and her cookie upstairs but Bella had other plans. She pulled me to the kitchen to have cookies and milk. And it was the most erotic thing I had ever done. I didn't even know that cookies and milk could be erotic. But watching Bella lift the cookie to her lips was the most desirable sight. The sexual tension between us was bouncing off the walls. Every time she bit into her cookie and eyed me, I groaned. Every time I drank some of my milk, Bella lick her lips.

By the time we were finished, we pounced on each other.

We were a blur of motion. Our hands and lips were busy as we went up the stairs. We groped. We moaned. We crashed into her room and fell on her bed in a tumble of laughter, heat and moans. We finished shedding our clothes, wanting to feel every inch of each other while our lips sought out found every part of our bodies kissable.

Bella's moans were driving me crazy. I didn't think I could stop tonight. I pulled away from her and sat up, panting heavily and worried.

"What's wrong?" Her bare breasts were begging to be sucked as she eyed me with concern.

"I can't," I breathed.

"Oh." She sounded so disappointed. She didn't understand.

"Bella, I want to," I turned to her and said. "God, I fucking want to. But you need your space…and time…and I…"

"I want to, Jasper." She said it so soft I thought I was hearing things.

"What?"

Bella giggled. "Jasper, I want you to make love to me. I want feel you. I want to fuck you. I don't know how many more ways I can say it. I know you might feel wrong because I'm married to James and maybe you consider this cheating, but, I'm in love with you. I know it's love. But I'll understand if…"

"I don't consider you married to that rat bastard," I told her. "That wasn't a marriage. I've seen marriages. My parents had a great one and I hope to have one as good as that some day. I consider you, Bella Swan, as a beautiful woman with a heart of fucking gold who's in love with me and whose body wants to put me in an early grave."

She laughed at my corny finishing. "I consider you a very handsome guy with a heart big enough to love the universe."

"See, we're both cheesy."

She laughed and then took a deep breath and drew closer to me, crawling into my lap. She kissed me and then whispered, "I love you, Jasper Whitlock."

"I love you, Bella Swan," I told her, laying her down on the bed.

I stripped her out of the reminder of her clothing and then myself. I kissed every inch of her and tasted her until she flowed for me. I reveled in the sound of my name leaving her sweet mouth in-between mewls and pleads for me to not stop while I licked and sucked her sweetness. I loved the taste of her tangy nectar.

"Jasper…please," she pleaded as I crawled on top of her. I placed myself at her entrance and kissed her and then whispered my love and pushed into her. She groaned and sighed in bliss while I filled her.

I was complete. Being inside of her made me feel complete. This was what I have searched for. This was what I didn't know until now. All these years, all those women, this was the feeling I was looking for. This blissful feeling. This blessing. This feeling of oneness. And now, I realized that I wouldn't have found it because it was here. It was with Bella.

We rocked against each other with soft sighs and tender moans until it grew to be too much. We sped up. We sighed. We kissed. We loved. We whispered our wants. She was on top. I was on top. We fought for dominance. We sought the end and then tried to ward it off because we didn't want to stop. We didn't want to part but it was coming…fast.

"Oh, Jasper!" Bella's eyes were closed, her hands were flat against my chest and her hips were pistoling. It was the most beautiful thing I could look up at from this position; on my back with my hands on her thighs, guiding her to that peripheral edge. Her tight walls were clenching and I was right there. I just wanted her to come with me. "That's it. Come for me, Bella. I want to feel you coming for me, baby." My words were driving her. "I love feeling your tight pussy on me. I want to feel you come. Come!"

Bella stilled and screamed. It was primal. It was beautiful and I fell over my own edge from it. She collapsed on top of me in breathless laughter. "Oh my God."

"That was…"

"Amazing," Bella finished for me with a kiss.

We rested and then made love again. Bella was my heaven.


	30. Newbie

_**AN: Bliss, a jointed session and Jasper's monster. **_

_**Chapter twenty nine: Newbie**_

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><p><em><strong>Another long chap, but it was needed.<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, February, 2011… <strong>_

Something warm had me wrapped up like a security blanket protecting me from the harsh cold. It had a beating heart and safe arms. _Jasper. _I tightened my hold on him and breathed him in. He had me wrapped in his arms; his naked body on mine with an arm around me and me lying half on his strong bicep and on his chest. My body curled into his, with one of his leg between mine and my heat right where he would want it.

I wanted to sink deeper into his strong embrace. I hugged him close and he groaned and tightened his arms around me. I laid a soft kiss on his arm and closed my eyes, but I wasn't asleep. Last night was too beautiful to stop thinking about it. I didn't even know that lovemaking could be that sweet. But with Jasper, it was, and I wanted more.

It was still a little dark out, but the promise of daylight wasn't far off and I knew he would be stirring in a minute. He was always up at the crack of dawn. However, I wanted to enjoy having him in bed with me a little longer. I blushed and ducked my head into his shoulder when I thought about him inside of me and how amazing it felt. The way he lifted his hips to mine, the way he thrust into me, the way he guided my hips; his sighs, his whispers of love, his words. It was all so overwhelming, and suddenly, I couldn't keep the tears at bay. It was too much and the sobs fought their way out of my throat.

I sat up, wrapping my arms around my knees while open sobs wracked my body.

"Bella?" I didn't answer him and that only made him panic. He jumped up and moved in front of me in all his naked glory. "Bella, what's wrong?" He ran his hands up and down my arms, ready to comfort me and it made me cry harder.

"What's wrong, darlin'?" He was being so gentle, I shook with more tears. "Please, baby, tell me what's wrong. Bella?" He sounded so small. "Did…did I hurt you?"

No! I couldn't let him think that. My head snapped up and I cried, "No!"

"Then what's wrong?"

"You," I sobbed.

"Me?" he said confusedly.

"Yes, I don't deserve you," I said. "I've done nothing to deserve you. I'll hurt you. I'm gonna get you hurt. I know it. I can feel it."

"Bella…" Jasper tried, but I wasn't through. "Will it always be like this?" I asked, knowing Jasper would understand. "Was it like this for you? Did you have happy moments and then you got sad or pissed off?"

He smiled and moved back over to the pillows, beckoning me to follow him.

I crawled into his arms and laid my head on his chest. He wrapped the sheet around our waist and sighed. We had a moment of silence before Jasper broke and I listened intently.

"It used to be similar in way to this," he said in regards to my swift change of emotions. "I'd be happy one second and then the next, I'd blow up at the first person to say something to me."

"What did you do about it?"

Jasper chuckled darkly. "I made it worse."

I looked up at him then. His smiling face peered down at me with a gentle glow. I couldn't picture Jasper as he was describing. But that didn't mean it wasn't possible. "How did you make it worse?"

"I used my anger at everything and at myself, to push everyone away. It got to a point where they were afraid to be around me. I would explode at the least and the way I sought solace…" He paused and I knew it had something to do with the past he wanted to share with me. "I sought it in the wrong thing."

"How did you get past that?"

"With help. My family. My friends. Aunt Esme's hard love and advice."

We both chuckled at that. Esme could be a hard ass if she wanted to. She blew up at Jasper when he had eavesdropped on our session.

"Bella, how did you feel before?" I looked at him questioningly and he clarified. "I mean, when you just woke up, how did you feel?"

"More than happy. I couldn't believe we'd made love and I was so happy, but then that reminded me of James and the cruelty I had to endure. And I realized all of the things I was missing out on. I realized I didn't know what it felt be loved or to be made love to."

"And I'm sorry," Jasper said solemnly, running a hand down my cheek. I leaned into his palm. "But that's something you won't ever have to worry or feel sad about from now on, Miss Bella, because I plan on loving you and showing how much I love you for the rest of your life."

I smiled and tears fell from my eyes. "Happy tears?" Jasper queried and I nodded.

He pulled me back into his arms and laid back. "I won't let him take you from me, Bella."

"I won't let him take you from me, Jasper." And I wouldn't. I was through with Jasper taking the people I loved from me.

We laid there for while before I interjected, "That wasn't exactly pillow talk, was it?"

"No," Jasper chuckled, "but it's us."

I glanced up to find him staring down at me with a smile. "It's us."

We stayed in each other's arms until it was time to get up. And then Jasper tried to give me the shock of my life. "What are you doing?" I hissed at him as he moved toward the door stark naked. "Tanya could be out there."

He gave me a devilish smirk and scooped up his clothes, but didn't put them on. "I'll see you downstairs, darlin'."

I was shell shocked and still staring at the door long after Jasper walked out of my room and closed it behind him. I hope like hell Tanya wasn't up yet. If she saw her cousin leaving my room without a stitch of clothes on, I'll never hear the end of it. I would be teased all day.

All through my shower, I thought about making love to Jasper and how amazing and sweet it was. I have never felt so loved in my life that when I got back to my room, I grabbed my laptop and documented it.

_February, 2011…_

_Jasper and I made love last night. I'm in love with a dream I never dared to have. And I am not about to let him go. I'll love him forever. _

It was all that was needed to be said.

I got dressed and went downstairs. Tanya was nowhere in sight and Jasper was waiting by the breakfast bar with a cup of coffee for me. I walked over to him with a smile and took my cup, thanked him and took a seat on one of the stools while watching my boyfriend over the rim of the mug as I sipped the warm liquid.

Jasper was leaning against the counter, one ankle across the other, and he was eyeing me while he sipped his coffee.

"What?" I asked with a smile, watching him smirk at me.

"What?" he repeated, making me giggle and shake my head at his silliness.

"What do you mean?" Maybe a different question would make him say what he wanted to.

"What's got you smiling like that, Ms. Swan?"

"You."

He chuckled and put his mug down and came over to me. I quickly put my own mug down and turned to him as he stepped between my opened legs, palmed my cheeks, and brought my lips to his. His kisses were my sustenance.

His mouth moved from mine and down to my neck before going up to my ear, where he lightly bit the shell of it and whispered, "What about me?" He continued to lay soft kisses across my collarbone while I tried to form a coherent sentence.

"Everything," I finally gave up my hold on reality, sighed, and closed my eyes to the dream of a man in front of me.

He moaned against my ear and then kissed it. "I love everything about you too, baby."

I pulled him back to my lips in a searing kiss. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip and I opened my mouth to him; accepting his tongue and his sweet taste mingled with coffee.

The kiss was urgent. Jasper lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. He started to move and I didn't think to question it. I wanted this. The tension was unbearable.

He moved to an object, I realized was the table when he placed me on it and came between my legs. I didn't care where we were or who could walk in on us, Jasper was all that mattered and we kissed until we were breathless and blinded with lust and hunger.

His eyes held the same need in them and we wouldn't make it upstairs. I could see the truth of my thoughts in Jasper's ravenous stare, so I pulled him to his office.

The moment we entered the space, he slammed the door shut and I was pushed up against it. We stripped amidst heated kisses and then Jasper moved us after he got my panties off. He growled while I nipped and sucked at his neck as he cleared his desk and I was deposited on top of it. He moved away and I eyed his sexy body as he began to search his drawers.

"Fuck! Where is it?"

"What?" I chuckled breathlessly.

"Condom. I swear, I'm gonna stash a packet all over this damn house," he vowed, making me laugh when he yelled in success. He had found one.

He rolled it on and pulled me to the edge of his desk. My legs were spread wide to accommodate him and his hands were in my hair. He kissed me slowly and sweetly before one of his hand moved between us and he guided himself inside of me. We both groaned in unison, but the need for one another didn't leave much room for making love. We needed something more primal. We needed to fuck.

"Fuck, Bella, I love being inside you." He sped up almost immediately and I held on for dear life. It was exquisite. It was phenomenal. I clawed at his back while he bounced me on his cock. My stomach tightened and I wanted him to jump over that edge with me.

But a part of me also didn't want this to end just yet. He was devouring my mouth. His tongue mimicking his hips as he drove into the depths of me. I have never felt so full. "Yes, fuck me, Jasper!" I tore my mouth away long enough to say.

He smiled at me and I returned it breathlessly. He lowered us to the surface of the desk and held my hands over my head while pushing into me…hard. I fought against his hold and he laughed at me but I wasn't intimidated. I felt challenged and hot as hell. I had my incredible lover's cock delving into my depths while he fucked me senseless on his desk.

"Don't you fucking stop!" I ordered him. "Uh, Jasper! Don't stop!" I could feel it building in the pit of my stomach. I wanted it. I wanted him to come in me. I circled my hips, teasingly, pulling him impossibly deeper; holding him tighter and he growled as his eyes darkened. "Come, Jasper. I want you to come inside me, baby. Yes…you feel so damn good."

Jasper was panting. His hips pistoling and I grabbed his bottom lip between my teeth and bit down on it making him go faster and harder. He kissed me and then tore his lips from mine; his back extending as he stood to his full height. He grabbed my hips, tight, and groaned, "Fuck, Bella." He was almost there. I knew it. But I wanted to push him some more.

"Yes…baby…uuhh…don't…mmm…stop," I pleaded. "Your cock feels so good!" I arched into him and it was enough. My body stilled, Jasper yelled and shot his release inside me and then collapsed on me, chuckling along with me.

"What's wrong with us?"

"We're in love," I told him.

We stayed on top of his desk sharing soft kisses until the need to move kicked in. When he pulled out of me, I moaned at the loss. But he smiled and pulled me to my feet with promises of 'later'. I couldn't wait for later. Why wasn't it night yet?

We got dressed, cleaned up his office together, and then Jasper pulled me out of the house. Apparently after our talk, he talked Rose and Emmett into helping me become Kick Ass Bella.

And the idea wasn't a bad one. It was just the matter of me doing it without causing some sort of accident that had me worried. "Remind me why I'm doing this again? I have to be at Esme's office in a few hours."

Jasper chuckled and then leaned in for a quick kiss. "Because your safety is important to me. I love you. And it's a great stress buster," he drawled, pulling me along.

"And Em and Rose agreed to this?"

"Yep," Jasper said happily.

We were going shooting and I think I may have screwed my boyfriend's brains out. He had his pump rifle in his other hand and his nine millimeter in his waist. I think he has lost his mind. I know I agreed to let them teach me things. But I can't shoot! Plus, I was going to fall. I knew it. "Jasper, I'm going to fall flat on my ass."

He laughed. "No you won't because I'll be right there to help. I'll also get you to Esme on time so there's really nothing to worry about."

"_Yep, I screwed my boyfriend's brains out,"_ I thought when a smiling Rose and Emmett came into view. Jasper had gone nuts.

_**Jasper**_

Bella thought I was nuts. But I wanted her to learn this. When I got downstairs this morning, I had called Emmett and shared my idea. He readily agreed to it and said he'd be over later.

'Later' worked out perfectly because Bella and I got a little caught up in my office. Maybe she thought I was joking but I wasn't. I was going to stash condoms all over the damn house. She was too fucking irresistible for her own good.

My cock twitched and I vowed to stay away from words that were related to sex for today.

I knew Emmett would ask Rose to tag along and I welcomed that thought because Rose was as good a shot as me. Bella would get some great pointers from Rose's perspective.

Since I saw Victoria in Houston, the idea of teaching Bella this was embedded in my mind. The most worrying thought about it was if Bella would agree to it. I wanted her safe but I wouldn't persuade her to do something she didn't want to do.

But my fear was unfounded because Bella's problem was that she couldn't shoot.

"Jasper, I can't shoot," Bella complained again for the millionth time as we got closer to the where we used as the range. It was nearer to my house than the main house. But Emmett said he'd bring the guns over there. I brought my pump rifle and the nine millimeter from the lockbox in my bedroom.

I leaned in and kissed her lips. "That's what I'm here for, sweetie."

She was blushing when I pulled away, and what Emmett was hollering told me why. "You guys had sex!" he shouted before Rose smacked him over the head and threatening to shoot him in the leg if he teased Bella again.

Edward was laughing as he loaded his rifle. Edward was a damn good shot too. I supposed it was why Emmett would have asked him. "Congratulations, Jasper," he looked up at me and said with a mischievous grin, "You're not gay. Now I can stop worrying about your longing looks."

"Don't make my boyfriend shoot you," Bella said and Emmett and Rose laughed at Edward. But she wasn't through. "As a matter of fact, don't make me shoot you and tell Tanya it was an accident."

More laughter, and this time I joined in while Edward looked scolded. He was no match for Bella.

"Alright, you guys, teach me this shit," Bella proclaimed and we cheered.

Bella wasn't bad for a first timer. She only fell three times with the rifle. But she got a lot of good shots and she hit the targets perfectly. I don't know what her motivation was, but mine was James. I wanted to shoot that bastard's dick off for what he'd done to my girl.

Bella and Rose also got along really well during shooting. While me and the boys popped off a few rounds, they stuck together talking and giggling like best friends.

We all got some shots in and then we gave Bella the pointers she would need and promised to do it again soon.

Bella left far more elated and less nervous than she was when we were heading over there. "How was it?" I asked when we walked into the house.

"It went better than I thought it would be," she said incredulously. "I thought I'd suck at it."

"Well, you didn't."

"Yeah, I didn't. Thanks to you," she said with a smile.

We headed into town shortly after that with Bella smiling and singing along to some of the country songs on the radio.

Esme was happy to see us and she pulled away to speak with her privately. I greeted Mrs. Cope and was about to relay a message to her and leave, but Aunt Esme stopped me.

"Jasper, I would like for you to join Bella and me in our session today," she said with a warm smile, "as it concerns you too."

"Alright then." I wasn't sure what this was about but if Bella needed me to do this, I would.

I followed them into the office and took a seat beside Bella on the sofa by the window. "That's Bella's favorite spot," Esme noted.

"Really?" I laughed.

"Yes," my aunt grinned.

There was a comfortable silence between all of us before Esme sighed and began, "Bella, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Bella answered with a small smile on her face.

Esme's attention turned to me and brought my thoughts into question. "And Jasper, how are you?"

I chuckled at her; not understanding why we were focusing on me. "I'm fine, but I thought this was about Bella."

Esme cocked her brow at me, "No, today will be about the two of you."

"Oh."

"So, how are you?" Esme prompted.

I glanced at Bella's beautiful face and smiled back at her. "I'm really good."

"May I ask why?" Esme questioned.

I didn't take my eyes off of Bella while replying, "I'm in love."

"And do you feel about that, Bella?" Esme asked.

"The same," my girl said; her eyes never faltering from mine. "I'm in love with him."

"Do you think you're ready for such a commitment?" Esme asked and my temper flared a bit at the question and I shot her a look but she just smiled and gave me a challenging glare.

But Bella made my heart leap in joy when she didn't hesitate. "Yes."

"How do you know what you feel for Jasper is love?"

Bella sighed and took my hand in hers. "Because I'm happier than I have ever been. Because I don't feel worried about him beating me. Because when he touches me, he doesn't manhandle me. He treats me like someone, not something. And my heart…" Bella looked away from me with tears in her eyes. I squeezed her reassuringly. She smiled and continued, "…it feels like it's going to burst out of my chest because I'm so fucking happy. I smile every day, Esme. I smile until my face hurts."

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and Esme's were glistening with unshed ones. "I love you," I said to Bella.

"And you, Jasper?" Esme asked; although the answer would be the same. My heart beats for Bella.

"I love her more than anything in this world. And I really didn't know what that truly felt like until Bella."

"Why would you say that?"

I never wanted this to be said here, but it was the right moment. I turned to Bella and prepared her. "Bella, I've tell you this for a while. I want you to know me. All of me."

She shakily nodded but I was nervous as hell to tell her any of this. "Bella, I know you'll probably be disgusted with me after this. But I had to tell you the truth. I don't want to lie to you. I'm in love with you and I…"

"Jasper, it's okay. I want to know. Please tell me."

"It's alright, Jasper," Esme encouraged. "We're here for you."

"I won't be disgusted," Bella affirmed. "And there's nothing you can say that will hurt me."

"Don't make that promise, Bella," I warned her sternly.

"You don't scare me, Jasper."

"Gimme a minute to change that, Bella."

The dark side of me was still in there. From the boy that had defended his mother to the manwhore in college who fucked every girl that so much as said 'hello' to him, my monster was still alive and well in me.

"Try me," Bella challenged.

"You know about my younger years and about my…kidnapping and what happened." Bella nodded and Esme was listening intently, although, she already knew the truth. Esme was only watching Bella's reaction.

"I've seen your scars, Jasper," Bella reminded me. "I never said anything about them because I wasn't sure if you were ready to talk about them."

"I wasn't. Thanks for your patience."

Bella smiled. "Sure."

I nodded and continued, "Why don't I start with the scars then." Bella nodded again. "The ones on my back were from Ricky beating me with an electrical cord. And the more I cried, the more he'd hit me. The ones in my scalp, it's actually why I liked keeping my hair long. I don't like to see 'em. He hit me over the head with anything heavy that he could find. He wanted me to have as many bruises as possible. He said it served me right for not being his child."

Bella roughly wiped her tears away. I could see anger swirling in her eyes. "And for a while, I believed him. I let his words get to me. I let it sink under my skin. As I grew up, I felt like I didn't belong. Some days I loved my family like I explained this morning, and others days, I didn't want them around."

Bella's anger dissipated into sadness. She loved me and my family. She couldn't understand a moment when I could hate them but I wasn't myself.

"You hurt their feelings," she stated.

"Yeah. And sometimes, I remember that and I hate who I was."

"You weren't well." This girl was incredible. How did I get so lucky? "What about therapy?" Bella added, "You had therapy with Esme, right? Did you listen?"

"I listened enough to know that my family wouldn't hurt me, but something was missing. I felt like a part of me was gone. Dead. And I had to fill the void. So when I got to college, it became about more than education. I wanted something. I was looking for it. I was hungry for it. But I couldn't find it because I didn't know what the fuck it was."

"What did you do?"

"I got into fights. A lot. And…" It was a side of me that I hadn't wanted to tell Bella about. But… "I did drugs."

Bella gasped. "What kind of drugs?"

"I smoked weed, did coke. The cocaine stuck more than the weed." Bella sighed and wiped more tears away. "Bella, I tried to warn you…"

She shook her head violently. "No. There's more. Jasper, I have demons that plagued me for years. You wanted to destroy a part of you because of the torture you had to go through at the hands of a madman and it changed you in the wrong way."

She had put together everything Esme had tried to teach and advise me in a single breath. I loved Bella so much. Even if after this, she couldn't love me.

"What else?" she demanded.

"Then, there were the women." Bella was breathing heavily now. She was trying to swallow the truth. She was trying to see the bastard I was telling her about. I had come a long way over the years and while I knew he was lingering below the surface, I had a handle on it now. "I slept with, I don't know, how many girls. College girls, girls I met at bars, seniors in high school. Edward and I would meet 'em at clubs, proms."

"Was Edward like you?" Bella squeaked.

"Edward," I laughed. "I beat him by at least…ten miles. Edward was good. He didn't do drugs and he always begged me to stop until I did. I developed a game to get a different girl for every day of the week and…" Bella sprang up in tears and stalked off to the window. She was breathing raggedly.

"Bella, I'm…"

"Don't apologize!" She turned to Esme. "And don't you stop him, I'm okay."

"I won't," Esme promised her.

"Go on."

I didn't want to, but I did. Today wasn't going the way I had intended. However, the more I told her, the more relieved I felt that she'll know the truth. I used to be a monster. "I went on a rampage. I slept with any girl I could charm. I slept with some of Rose's friends. Tanya's friends. And those girls don't talk to them anymore because of me."

"You fucked around a lot," Bella said harshly.

"Yes." The shame sunk in. I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. I was disgusting.

"Why did you stop?"

"That I still don't know. I just know that I woke up one morning, hung over from the night before, naked and wedged between two girls and I just felt disgusted with myself. I didn't feel proud like I usually felt that I nailed them, I felt like shit. I called Esme. I talked to her, cried, and she and Momma came up to my school and got me. Momma was beyond pissed at me and despite the relationship you see us having now, we were on a rocky road back then."

"And after you cleaned yourself up?" Bella's back was still to me.

"I tried to hold on to everything that meant something. I felt like I owed everyone an apology so I tried to be all they wanted me to be."

"You've never shared that with me before, Jasper," Esme said and she was right. I never told her this.

"I know and I'm sorry. But I want to say it now." Esme nodded for me to go on. "I wanted to please everyone. I wanted you guys to look at me and not see the monster I was."

"Are you a doctor because you want to be?" Bella turned to face me and asked. She was angry and rightfully so. I was a pig. She was in love with a bastard.

"Yes."

"Are you a businessman because you want to be?"

"Yes."

"When you fucked those girls, did you feel that void being filled?"

"No."

"When did you figure that out? From the first girl, the second, between the threesome, the foursome, WHEN?"

"I never filled that void until now; until you."

Bella gasped in shock and shook with sobs. "Bella, when I realized I was in love with you, I felt whole. When we made love for the first time; the first time I entered you…" I should feel funny for saying this in front of my aunt but I didn't. "I felt complete. The void…it filled."

Bella cried. She didn't say a word. She just cried and I let her. But then she grew angry. "So, why Alice? You would've married her if I hadn't…left. Why her?"

"Because I wanted to be happy. I never thought I would fill the void but maybe if I threw myself into the love I wanted to feel, then everything would be okay. I never thought…I never thought I stood a chance at being honestly happy and in love until I met you."

"Me?" she whispered. I got up and went to her.

"Yeah, you." I ran a finger down her arm and then laced our fingers.

"What do you see now? How do you feel?"

"Happier than I ever thought possible. And I don't have to give you anymore of me than I can. I can love you without worrying. You make me feel invincible. You brought me back alive."

Bella sobbed loudly and flew into my arms. I wrapped her tightly as she whispered through her tears, "I love you, Jasper."

"I love you too," I told her as tears trailed down my own cheeks.

"Bella, do you think that after consideration, you can forgive him?" Esme asked.

"Yes," she said without doubt. She pulled away and met my wide eyes and smiled ruefully, "He's here. He's not that guy anymore, and I didn't save you, Jasper. You saved yourself and now you're saving me. You are loved and I forgive you."

"How?"

"Because I love you," Bella simply said and wiped her eyes. "So, I guess I should be watching for crazy exes then, huh?"

I chuckled. "No."

"I think I should," Bella said, making me laugh.

We sat down for the rest of the session. Esme wanted Bella to re-consider her quick forgiveness and Bella was determined to live in the now. She blatantly told Esme that my past does not affect her love or trust for me. She was with me, no matter what.

I loved her even more for that; if it were possible.

Esme read over Bella's journal entries and I was surprised when they shared it with me. I loved how Bella saw me.

We talked about Ricky and James and then she gave us an assignment. Ricky was already gone, but James was still a thorn in our sides, and since Bella won't let James hurt me, if it came down to it and she had to run, I was along for the ride. It was partly my idea. I wasn't letting go of her. I wasn't going to stand aside and watch Bella walk out. And I definitely wasn't going to let James get his hands on her without a fucking fight.

Esme's suggestion and assignment was to go home and both of us were to pack a bag for one another. I guess she wanted us to feel the weight of this decision and how it would affect the other party. It was a trust exercise. But Bella had more homework.

"Bella, I want to see you back here in April, and by then, I want to hear and see if you're still as happy as you are now. I want to see if you trust Jasper as much as you do now and I want to see if your forgiveness is still intact. I adore your relationship. It baffles me. I have advised both of you and it's amazing to see the healing qualities that you two have on each other. Please, don't let anything stand in your way. Keep it up. And if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me."

We left Esme after that. Bella wasn't in the mood for cooking so I picked up takeout. We drove back to the ranch in silence and were happy to see the house empty when we got there. I don't think I could stand my cousin's exuberance right now.

We went upstairs and packed the bags. Packing a bag for Bella, was the hardest thing I have ever I had to do. Kicking an almost addiction to cocaine was easier than coming to terms with the fact that Bella might have to leave if the occasion called for it.

When we met in the hallway, Bella wasn't doing much better either. She had been crying and I felt like shit. If she wanted to leave me, I'd have to understand and let her go. But I didn't want to. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut like I did with Alice. At least with Alice, she never gave me any chances to talk about myself. It was all about her. And I only wanted to make her happy, so I shut up.

But with Bella, I felt so in love; so free, I wanted to share things. I wanted her to know all of me.

She was about to pass me into her room when I blurted out, "Bella, I'm so fucking sorry and you can leave if you want. I'll…I'll understand if you were lying to Esme."

Bella looked at me incredulously through her red eyes, "I wasn't lying. I had to pack a bag for you while picturing what James would do to you if he found us together. You think you fucking around in college and being an idiot means the same to me as you dying?"

"No," I said quietly.

"No!" she yelled. "You were a dog. You were blinded and confused and stupid. But you changed and I love you. Maybe if we'd met then, that wouldn't have happened. We won't ever know, but we have now. And I love you and I can't let him kill you like he did Garrett."

She collapsed in my arms, crying. "But, Bella, I'm hurting you."

I scooped her up in my arms and brought her into her bedroom. I laid her down and climbed in with her. I pulled her close and held her while she cried. "Jasper, I wasn't excepting a fucking saint! I expect Jasper. I love Jasper!"

I took care of Bella. We ate a light meal and stayed with each other and healed. Esme said we helped each other and she was right. We took a long bath together and made love. We were attentive and whispered words of love and encouragement until we found our end.

And as we laid in bed, thoughts of today ran through my mind until Bella qualm it. She said it wasn't needed. We were living for today and tomorrow and that was it. We were going to handle whatever was thrown our way...together.

I have been battling my demons for years, and for the first time, I finally felt like they were at rest. Bella did that. "I won't let him take you from me, Bella," I told her groggily; about to fall asleep.

"I'd rather die than let him take someone else away from me," she answered back.

I kissed her forehead and tightened my hold on her warm body. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said and I could hear the smile in her voice.


	31. Shopping and Alice

_**AN: Jasper is treated to a great date…until Alice. **_

_**Chapter thirty: Shopping and Alice**_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, February, 2011…<strong>_

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><p>I opened my eyes to a new day and then ran my hand through Jasper's messy curls. His head was on my stomach, and the light breaths fanning my stomach told me that he was awake. But I didn't disturb him. He was finding peace while he laid there, thinking.<p>

It puzzled him and Esme that I forgave him, but I had to. It was the past and I didn't blame him. I couldn't. I didn't know Jasper then. And the Jasper I'm in love with wasn't that guy. He wasn't rude or inconsiderate. He was what that guy didn't know he could be, and I loved him for it.

"I know you're awake," I sighed. "I know you're up and probably waiting on me to change my mind but I won't." I smiled at my own words and Jasper got up and hovered over me. His eyes were sad. "The man you are now is the one I love and I forgave you because I love you and value you too much to let the past kill what we have. I'm afraid you're stuck with me, Mr. Whitlock."

He chuckled and kissed my neck. "I can't think of a better position to be in, Ms. Swan."

"I love you."

"Thank you."

"You're more than welcome," I smiled. "Now, can you do something for me?"

"What's that?"

"And before you do it, don't you dare think that you have to, because I won't like it if you say no."

"Okay," he said questioningly.

"Good! Jasper, would you like to go on a date with me? My treat." His mouth fell open. "What? You've never been asked out before? All those girls and no one took you out? Well, you just weren't living." He laughed loud and heartily. "It's time you are pampered for a change."

I got up and left him with orders. He was to grab a shower, dress casually, and there would be no ranch stuff, no doctor stuff, no Jenks, no business deals, no Uncle Joshua, Peter or Edward. Today was strictly about him and relaxing.

After my shower, I got ready. For my casual theme, I went with a white peasant dress, a blue jacket and my brown cowboy boots. Some light makeup, going for the smoky eyes look and light blush. My hair, I decided to leave it down and free for Jasper to run his hand through the curls. He liked to do that. But I couldn't leave without documenting my feelings and inner thoughts, so I grabbed my laptop and sat on my bed and began to write.

_February, 2011…_

_Being happy is such a strange feeling for me. But knowing that Jasper loves me is an incredible discovery. _

_He revealed a lot about himself yesterday and while it hurt to hear it, I was relieved to know. _

_Jasper wasn't that man anymore. He has changed. _

_I shouldn't believe in change because of my horrid experiences, but with Jasper, I did. _

_He woke up one day and shakily took control and the rest, in my head, was history. So if anything happens, I'll be here for him. I love him. _

I saved my entry and logged off. I met Jasper in hallway and we met downstairs for breakfast. It was about nine am when we sat down for waffles and bacon and coffee with Tanya and Edward. I told them that we had a hard session yesterday and I told Edward that I knew what happened in college. He apologized and then Jasper tried to, and even Tanya did too. But I shut them all up.

"NO! I'm serious! Nothing but relaxation today," I told them but I especially meant Jasper. "I don't want to hear it. Yes, he was a whore in college and I plan on finding out if he knows the kuma sutra…" Tanya choked on her coffee with laughter and Edward's eyes bugged out. "But for now, no interruptions, and no fucking talking about the past. I want Jasper all to myself and we're going to relax and have fun."

Edward and Tanya agreed and said they would pass the word along. But to be on the safe side, I took away Jasper's phone and kept it in my purse.

After breakfast, Tanya and Edward said they would clean up and shooed me and Jasper out of the house.

We went down to the garage and stood before his vehicles. "Now, pick."

"What I'm driving?" he smiled.

"No, what I'm driving," I told him. "I'm the dater. You're the date."

He laughed. "Alright, I have always wanted to see you drive my truck."

"Let's go," I walked off but Jasper wasn't following. He always did that. He'd let me walk ahead of him, and today, I wanted to know why. "Why do you do that?"

He smirked at my question. "Watch you walk?"

"Yeah."

He didn't even hesitate. "You've got a great ass."

I laughed and then winked at him. He looked so sexy in his dark wash jeans, black boots, and red plaid shirt. "Thanks. And by the way, I've really wanted to drive this truck." I was pressed up against him with my nose in his neck. I gave him a kiss there and he shuddered. I loved the effect I had on him.

"Yeah?" I could hear the need in his voice and I was going to use it.

Pulling myself up on my tip toes, I licked the shell of his ear, making him moan and then whispered, "Yeah, but I really wanna ride its owner right now."

When I stepped away, Jasper's eyes were dark. He looked like he was about to pounce but that would delay things and ruin my fun. We'd have time for that later.

I stepped away and practically ran around the truck. "Woman, the things I want to do to you right now…" He let the rest of the sentence hang, making me laugh as I jumped into the driver's seat.

Jasper climbed in beside me; adjusting himself and making me laugh some more. "Well, they'll have to wait. It's fun time."

Jasper closed his eyes and groaned, letting his head fall back against his seat.

Today was going to be great.

**~~abt~~**

I had the radio blasting and I was singing along to every word of the song. Jasper was beside me, smiling in awe, and I loved it. He looked gorgeous, and at one point, I pulled over just to kiss him. The man's lips were a gift from God. I didn't even know I was so into kissing until I met Jasper. But now I was fucking obsessed!

"What are we up to?" Jasper asked over the music.

He was singing a minute ago and I was sad that he stopped to ask me a question so I pouted. "You stopped singing."

He smiled. "You like my voice?"

"I thought you said you couldn't sing."

"And I still don't think I can. I think it's because you love me so much you willed yourself to become tone deaf."

I laughed. "Stop underestimating yourself. You sound great."

He blushed. "Thanks. So, what are we up to?"

"None of your business!" He grinned at my answer. "Today, it's Bella's way or the highway."

"Why, yes, Ma'am!" He saluted me and I saluted him back and then we laughed.

He went back to singing while we drove into town. It felt so good to see him like this; smiling and relaxed and the day was just starting.

I found somewhere to park and killed the engine. The first thing on my mental list for Jasper was reminiscing. I wanted to see Henderson through his eyes.

When I looked over at him, he was the picture of ease. His happy eyes met mine and he said, "Thanks so much for this, darlin', I love you so damn much."

"I fuckin' love you, Jasper," I expressed, making him laugh heartily before I pulled him into a hard kiss. He moaned and deepened it while trying to reach under my dress, but I smacked his hand away. "Not yet, naughty boy." He laughed and pulled away.

"Now, first on the list…"

"There's a list."

"Yep!" I opened the door and got out. Jasper followed.

"What are we doing?" he asked when I walked around his side of the truck and took his arm and threw it over my shoulder. I kissed his cheek and told him the plan.

"We're going to see Henderson through your eyes. I want to go where you went. I want to see the places you loved to hang out."

He looked incredulous. "Really?"

"Yeah. I want know everything about you and maybe someday, I'll take you to California and show you all the places I went to and where I hung out."

He kissed me. "I'd love that."

With Jasper's arm over my shoulder we explored Henderson and all it had to offer within walking distance. He showed me all his favorite places around town, like school and the local library. He showed me hangouts for him and Emmett like the arcade and we played a few games.

Noon crept up on us and we went to the little café I had grown to like and had lunch. The list was running down but I wasn't through yet.

Jasper was attentive, loving, and naughty throughout the whole meal. He sat close to me and tried to reach under my dress a couple of times or kiss me whenever the need in him arose. I loved every second of it. It was Jasper being playful, fun and sexy.

After lunch, we took a stroll through the park. So far, Jasper's relaxation day was going well. He was all smiles and perfectly contented. And I really liked this park. It was like a miniature Central Park in New York.

We talked like old friends. I told him about my college days and how I once had a crush on my Lit professor. Jasper countered that by telling me he slept with his Psychology professor. He said she was a great woman.

"Do you still think about her?" I waggled my eyebrows and he stopped us and palmed my cheeks, staring into my eyes long and hard.

"You're the only woman I think about now and I want that to last for a very long time."

I swooned. I was a sensible, grown woman and I swooned like a teenager with a crush at his words. "I love that."

The sun was shining down on us; the rays of it making Jasper's blond tresses take my breath away. "Jasper, let's sit down, I want to talk." He nodded and followed me over to a huge tree that reminded me of the oak tree in his favorite spot on the outskirts of the ranch.

Jasper sat first and then I sat between his legs. I turned and kissed his lips, loving the feel of them and wanting the encouragement to say this. When I pulled away, his brows were knitted and I could see that he sensed my worry. "What is it, Bella?"

"This wasn't supposed to be on the list today. Today was supposed to be about making you smiling and being happy."

"It still is," he told me.

"Good to know."

"But something is bothering you and I would love to know what it is."

I leaned back against his chest and closed my eyes. Jasper wrapped his arms around me and a cool breeze blew our way and it was enough to calm my nerves.

"I want to divorce James." Just saying it made the weight lift off my shoulders.

"Would you like Edward to represent you?" The way it rolled of his tongue told me that he has been thinking about it.

"Yes."

"When do you want to start?"

"Don't you want to know why?"

"Very much."

I opened my eyes and placed a hand over the one he had on my stomach while looking up at the clear blue sky. "I want to be yours. I know that it's crazy that I'm jumping out of one relationship and into another but I don't care. I want to be with you. I don't think about my future without you in it."

"I don't see mine without you either," Jasper said and I smiled.

"Despite how dangerous it is to be with me?"

"Yes. I want you and I don't care what I'll have to do to ensure your safety, I want you in my life, Bella."

His words were powerful and he meant every one. I was learning about him day by day and Jasper didn't say things he didn't mean.

"I think we should see Edward soon."

"We should."

"I want to marry you someday," I confessed. "I want have kids with you. I love children and I've wanted them. And I couldn't think of a better father than you."

He eased me up and got up from behind me. He came around to face me; his eyes glistening with tears. "Do you really want that?"

"More than anything," I said with nothing but honesty. "You're living, Jasper. You're what I see as me living my life. You're everything to me; you mean everything to me. It's why I took Esme's assignment. It's why I packed that bag for you. A part of me, the selfish part, would love if you'd run with me if I had to go."

"I'd follow you to the end of the Earth."

"And I'll stay if you promise to be mine forever."

"I already am," he smiled and I jumped into his arms, sending him falling back onto the grass, laughing until I kissed him.

We left after that. I had somewhere to take him. I wanted to show the spot where everything changed and I came into his life.

We drove out of town. Jasper was relaxed and happy with being chauffeured. He joked that he was going to make me drive him around from now on. I rolled my eyes at him. But I would do it if he wanted me to. I would walk to the end of the Earth for him too.

He was happy with the fact that we could talk about kids. I teased him that his male biological clock was ticking and he stuck his tongue at me like a kid. I laughed. I loved seeing him act silly.

"I want our kids to look like you, Bella."

"I want them to look like you."

"Them?" he said with a quirked brow and a smirk.

"Yeah, them," I replied confidently.

"How many are we talking?"

"As many as I want to have."

"Which is?"

"Maybe three or more," I said. "How many you want?"

He smiled. "As many as you want to have."

I blushed and told him my secret. "I want them to have that adorable pout of yours that's hard for me to resist. I really love your lips. That would be great too. If I had a son, I want him to be as irresistible as you."

"If I get a daughter, I want her to be as beautiful as her mother. But then again, that would mean I'd have to become a better shot. The boys will be falling all over her."

"You're silly."

"You love me silly," he countered.

"I do."

A thought hit me and I shared it. "Jasper, what if I can't have children?"

Jasper chuckled. "Then we'll adopt or get a surrogate."

Jasper was optimistic and prepared. It made me relax. It made me feel hopeful. "I can't wait to have babies with you." He came closer to me, taking the shell of my ear between his teeth and nibbling on it. "I'm driving."

"Pull over."

I followed his order and did, and he pulled me into a kiss as soon as I had the truck in park. He moved until we were lying down on the seat; his hard body between my thighs. He rocked his erection into me and I moaned, "You want to start right now?" he said before kissing me senseless but I knew he wanted an answer.

"I think a little practice would be good," I replied with a grin and then kissed him hard; letting my tongue explore the depth of his mouth while grinding my body against him and then abruptly pushing him away. "But not right now."

He groaned and dropped back on top of me, burying his face in my neck. "Bella, you're killin' me!"

"Have a little patience and think about all the dirty things you're gonna do to me later for punishing you like this."

Jasper was off of me in a flash. "Let's get back on the road."

I had a long laugh before I got up and pulled us back on the road.

We had a good drive to the gas station where things changed for me. I stopped across the road and pointed it out to Jasper. He said it wasn't a great place to be for a woman on the road by herself. He said I shouldn't have stopped. I should've came to town and got my gas there.

There was a gas station in town. It was what I used now.

"But in a crazy way, I'm glad you stopped," he said.

"Or else, I wouldn't have met your mom."

"I'm sorry about your car though."

"Me too, but it now pales in comparison to what I have."

"What's that?"

"You," I told him.

On our drive back to town, I told him about the motels I stayed in and the IHOP I stopped at. Jasper smiled at my memories. When we got back to town, he wanted to go to the megamart. He said he wanted to go shopping together. We were running low on groceries, so I agreed.

He was a total troublemaker and we ended up at the cashier with two shopping carts filled with groceries and a troublesome Jasper chewing on a Twizzler. The cashier laughed at us while Jasper played in my hair.

After we loaded up the truck, I told him shopping wasn't over. I wanted to buy him something.

I wanted to get Jasper a hat; a Stetson to be exact. He had many of them, but I wanted to get him one myself.

"Where are we going?" he asked with his arm slung over my shoulder.

"To the store. I want to buy you something."

"Condoms? You don't need to. I have a lot of those. I have a girlfriend who's very energetic." I elbowed him in the stomach and he laughed.

"No, not condoms."

"Oh! So we're gonna start practicing baby making?"

"Jasper!"

"Not yet, sweetheart," he pretended to whisper, "We're in public."

"Someone is really enjoying their day, aren't they?"

"I love you for suggesting this," he stopped us to say with a smile.

"Good."

We went into the store and Jasper told me he shopped there. I told him I thought he got his clothes somewhere.

"No, the suits and all other expensive stuff are bought by Rose or Momma," he said. "I like this store." Everyone knew him in there. He said it was run by a couple, Marcus and Didyme, who he had known for a long while.

"That's nice," I expressed while we browsed through the aisles.

"Yeah, they're really good people."

We stopped in the aisle I wanted and Jasper figured out what I wanted to get him. He beamed and lifted me up and spun me around, much to my laughter.

"Thank you!"

"But you have so many hats. I didn't think this would shock you."

"Bella, this one will be from you." I understood the weight of those words. He was telling me how much it would mean to him.

And if that didn't say it, then the kiss he pulled me in did. He kissed me until I was breathless. I had to pull back and laugh. "Jasper, they're people around."

"Really now?" he smirked; palming my cheek and staring into my eyes. His blue irises holding me captive. "That's funny, I only see you." He yanked me back to him and I giggled while he growled in my ear and then nipped at my neck.

"Jasper…oh god…please, behave."

"No," he mumbled in my neck and I could feel things stirring in his pants.

"We have to."

He pulled back then and smirked, "No, we don't," and he kissed me again.

I heard cheers and laughter and I jumped away from Jasper to see an elderly couple applauding us. Jasper took a bow and I blushed and scampered away, much to the couple's laughter.

Jasper caught up to me; grabbing me from behind and pushing my ass into his growing erection. I groaned and pressed back into him. "You're turning red, darlin'," he said in my ear, kissing it. The drawl in his voice made my stomach tightened.

"You're causing it, Cowboy," I retorted and pushed back on him hard.

"Mmm…"he groaned and it went straight to my panties. "I like that name…Cowboy. Say it again."

I looked at him over my shoulder and bit my bottom lip, making his eyes darken. "Cowboy."

I tried to get away and he dragged me back to him; pressing me right into his hard on. He was about to kiss me again and I pushed him off long enough to say, "Jasper, people are looking."

"Let them," he said and kissed me hard. When he pulled away, he said, "Go out with me?"

I sighed. "Of course, where?"

"There's a Pre-Valentine Fair that happens in town before Valentine's Day and I would love to take my girlfriend."

His smile was infectious and I returned it wholeheartedly. "I'd love that."

"Now, back to shopping," he grinned.

"Back to shopping."

"Although, I have a question?"

"What's that?"

Jasper came close to my ear and whispered, "Why get me anything when you love to see me in nothing?" My panties were ruined from the sex dripping off of his tongue when he said that. I blushed and he laughed and pulled away. "See? It's true. So why don't we go home where we can do just that; wear nothing."

"You're such an easy date," I turned away and said. I was looking at some suitable hats for him.

"And you look really great from back here," he countered.

I snapped my head around to him and tried to look serious. "Stop checking out my ass, Cowboy."

"But it's such a mighty fine asset, Ma'am," he drawled and I wondered why I bothered to wear panties if I was just going to ruin them.

"Anyway!" I said, changing the subject and making Jasper laugh some more. I loved hearing the happiness in his voice. "I'm going to get you a hat. You love them, and I'm going to buy you one."

"Why thank you, Ma'am," he said with a grateful smile.

"You're welcome, Cowboy," I grinned back, happy that I could do this for him.

We cruised through the aisles, going through numerous hats. "What about this one?" I asked, holding up a brown one for him to see from his place in the other aisle.

"Nah," he shook his head and scrunched up his nose.

"Bella, what about this one?" he asked, holding up a black one for me to see.

I liked it. But when I walked around to his aisle to examine it better, I heard her voice and watched as my boyfriend's face fell into a scowl. "Anything looks good on you, Jazzy."

Jasper's face was in a deep frown as he addressed Alice. "What do you want?"

"Oh, just browsing through the store, seeing what I can find," she said, glancing at me with a sneer and I rolled my eyes at her and didn't miss the gasp I heard. Yeah, that's right. I wasn't going to take her shit anymore. "So, shopping together already?" Her voice shook with that question.

I didn't answer. I focused on the hat in Jasper's hand; taking it from him and examining it. It looked perfect and it made me smile. I didn't need to guess if Alice was lying. Nothing on her said that she shopped anywhere in town. And definitely not in a nice little store like this. Her crème Gucci suit and black stilettos said so.

I hated that Jasper's happiness was being swiped by this little harpy and I really wanted to do something about it. But the security of his hand on my lower back, rubbing smooth circles, caused me to relax and realized why he was doing it. He was trying to calm himself down too.

"You don't shop here," Jasper said bluntly, affirming my thoughts. "You don't shop anywhere in town. You have people buy things for you so what do you want?"

Alice let out a shaky laugh. "Oh, Jazzy…"

"Don't call me that," Jasper said harshly.

"Jazzy…" she whined, making me want to growl. "I'm over here because I'm wondering what you're doing for the pre-Valentine's Fair tomorrow?"

Jasper smiled proudly and pulled me closer to him. "Going with Bella, of course. It's her first time."

A very unpleasant and unladylike snort left Alice. "My God, Jasper. Are you really that desperate that you're going to take the help to the fair?" She looked me up and down in disgust and I wanted to kick her ass. I wanted to take the bitch down.

Jasper's hand fell from my back and he bristled. His happiness has been swapped for anger. "Don't you dare insult Bella. I'm not going to stand here and let you berate her!"

"Jasper, I'm fine," I said to him, trying to calm him down.

"No," he grunted to me; and I was almost afraid of the wild look in his eyes. He was so angry that his eyes had even darkened with his temper. He turned to Alice and ordered, "Apologize to her."

She gaped at him and then laughed in his face. "Jazzy…what are you talking about? Why would I apologize to the help?"

"Because Bella is my girlfriend."

"She's your WHAT?" Alice screeched.

"My girlfriend," Jasper repeated calmly and I was happy he was reining his temper in.

I hated this woman. Sue had told me about her and her nasty little ways. I had experienced her snobbery. And Tanya had explained how she used Jasper. And Jasper, while in session with me yesterday, helped me why Alice happened to him. He was trying to rectify his mistakes. But that didn't mean he should be used for his wealthy status.

"It looks like you've found it, do you want this one?" I asked Jasper. That was it. No more letting Alice ruin the fucking day.

"He's talking to someone, can't you see that?"

I turned to her. "You're someone? I thought I was looking at garbage." She looked shocked and I went on, "Anyways, listen to me, and hear me good. Jasper is my boyfriend and you're gonna stay away. Now, I know that warning means nothing to you, but I'm saying it anyways. He's mine and if you cross me again, I'm going to make you regret it."

Alice tried to scowl at me. She was trembling with anger but so was I. I glanced up at Jasper and found him beaming down at me. Then I turned back to her, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a gift to pay for."

"Oh, spending his money already?" she sneered.

"Don't confuse me with your slutty ass!" I shouted at her. "If I remember my intel correctly, you fucked him for some clothes, status, and a Porsche. So who the fuck are you to talk to me?"

Alice laughed. "Oh, so your new car is what?"

"I see you've been watching, stalker. But it's a means of transportation that is needed for my job," I enunciated. "Like having a company car?" I went on sarcastically.

"You bitch!"

"That's right, I am and don't you forget it," I said to her. I could feel Jasper holding me back and I saw that we were drawing attention out of the corner of my eye. "I'm his bitch and I'll kick anyone's ass that tries to hurt him! Jasper is a wonderful man who deserves everything he has. He's amazing and one of the best people I know! And he doesn't need a spoiled, psychotic bitch like you hounding him."

"You bitch!" she hissed, getting in my face. Jasper let me go and stepped between us, scowling down at Alice.

"Good, at least your dumbass didn't forget it this time."

"He's mine," she said.

"Not anymore. Didn't you say that I was fucking him and the wonders it did for my ego? Well, I must agree with you, Alice. The sex has been…uuhh! I don't even see how I'm walking straight. Now! If you'll excuse me again, I'm going to go and pay for this hat and then take Jasper home so he can fuck my brains out."

I stepped around her and Jasper, purposely bumping her with my shoulder, sending her staggering back into the shelf. She was righting herself and gaping in shock when I turned back to say, "Oh, and see you at the wedding or whenever you want to stalk Jasper."

Jasper followed me to the cashier. I apologized to the man there – Jasper said it was Marcus – I paid for the hat, thanked the old man and pulled Jasper out of the store.

When we got to the truck, I was fuming. Jasper took the keys and drove us back to the ranch. His perfect day had just gone to hell by an evil little pygmy. God! I wanted to hit her.

He pulled into the garage and killed the engine while I sat there, anger as hell. His chuckle made me look at him and I found him amused and still relaxed. "How are you so damn calm right now?"

"You said no other girl has ever given me anything. Well, you just stood up for me," he said with mirth. "Thank you."

"I love you."

"I love you too," I told him and then we kissed and it was hard. It was soft. It was languid and sweet, and it took my breath away. I wanted nothing more than to be with him right then and there.

Jasper pushed my jacket off my shoulders, kissing each shoulder and then worked his way up to my neck. "You know, my day isn't over yet. There are a lot of things we can do here on the ranch."

"Like?" I moaned as his hard on pressed into my side.

"Baby making," he suggested, making me giggle. "or practicing baby making. Hide and seek sex."

"You just made that one up."

He pulled away and smirked at me. "Yep, but you want to know how to play?"

"How do we play?"

"We find all the condoms I stashed all over the house and we…umm…put them to good use."

"I like that."

"I knew you would."

We laughed and went back to kissing. I climbed on top of him and he pushed his hand up my dress and cupped my ass. "Wanted to do that all day," he groaned and I laughed against his mouth.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" I was too busy biting and kissing his neck to bother with worded answers.

"Didn't you want to do something this morning?"

"Ah yes!" I pulled away and said. "Ride this truck's owner."

Jasper's eyes darkened and he pushed me into his erection while he began to drag my panties down. "Oh shucks, darlin'," he smiled and pulled me back into a hard kiss.


	32. Valentine's Fair

_**AN: And danger is here. Alice complains to her friend, Vicky. Victoria and James figure out that it's Bella and learns where she is. Jasper takes Bella to the pre-Valentine's Fair. **_

_**Chapter Thirty one: Valentine's Fair**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Alice, February, 2011…<strong>_

* * *

><p>"That bitch had the nerve to say I was stalking Jasper!" I screeched into the phone while Vicky tried to calm me down.<p>

"_Alice, it takes patience," _she said calmly and it pissed me off.

"Patience?! I want her gone!"

"_Well, you have to make it happen, don't you?"_ Vicky pleaded. _"You have to show Jasper what he's missing. And that some new bitch won't give him what you can. She's just some slut."_

"I know," I pouted. I couldn't believe Jasper stood there and let her talk to me like that.

"_By the way, you've never told me her name. And I'm still mad at you for not meeting me when I came down to Texas for the fashion show." _

"I got called away, Vicky," I whined. I loved talking to Vicky. We'd meet in France, but she lived in California.

Vicky's friend, James, was going through a lot. Apparently, his wife left him for another man. Vicky saw that as a great thing because she and James could finally be together. But James wanted his wife back. He was an idiot in my book. I was sure his wife couldn't compare to her.

Vicky and I had a really good friendship and a great understanding. She called to complain about James being hung up on his dumb wife, and I called her about Jasper and his stupid family.

"_Well, I forgive you, but next time, be there,"_ Vicky giggled.

"Okay, what was the other question again?" I said to her; loving how Vicky could make my anger at Jasper's stupidity, dissipate with our conversations. "You asked me something, what was it?"

"_What's the bitch's name?"_ Vicky said.

"Oh! It's Bella. Bella Swan."

_**James, February, 2011…**_

Vicky's eyes nearly bugged out of her head when she heard Marie's birth name. How could I have missed it? This Jasper planned this well. I had been looking for 'Marie Carter' not 'Bella Swan'. That fucker Jasper must have convinced Marie to go back to her birth name.

I couldn't believe it. Vicky had been right all along. Marie had left me for some country hick bastard named Jasper Whitlock.

Although, Jasper wasn't exactly some poor country boy. The fucker's wealth even exceeded my family's. He was worth billions of dollars. But it didn't matter to me; the bastard was going to pay for stealing my Marie away.

"Well, that bitch Bella won't know what hits her when you take Jasper away from her," Vicky said with an evil gleam in her eye before she winked at me. She wanted to punish Marie for hurting me. But she didn't know the rest of my plan.

"_Exactly,"_ Alice, our little unknown spy, said. She didn't know it, but she was about to tell us Be…Marie's every move.

Vicky spoke with Alice some more and then they hung up. She squealed and jumped into my arms, kissing me soundly on the lips. "You've found her!"

"Yes."

"So what are you going to do?" Vicky jumped down and asked with an evil grin. "We could go and get her."

"No," I said; having already made that decision. "Let her have her little fun with her boyfriend. Marie won't what hits her when I show up ready to claim what's mine."

"Why?" Vicky whined. "You've been moping over not having that little whore around, and here's your chance to her back and you're passing it up?!"

"No," I said, trying to keep my anger at Vicky under wraps. "I'm not passing it up. I'm planning for the grand reunion Marie and I will have. And you're going to help with it along with that idiot Alice."

I told Vicky parts of my plan, because she didn't need to know everything. She didn't need to know that I wouldn't be keeping her around once I had Marie back.

_See you soon, Marie._

_**Jasper, February, 2011… **_

Bella's hands went up my shirt. "Mmm…love you," she moaned against my lips while trying to hastily free me from the offensive material.

"I love you too, darlin'," I whispered back with a laugh at how aggressive she was. My hands made their way down her body to her firm behind, squeezing it while she nibbled on my bottom lip.

"Want you," she said, moving her mouth to my ear, biting it and the move made my already hard cock twitch.

"Want you too," I admitted while Bella's nimble fingers moved to my jeans, unbuttoning them.

"Babe, we're in the truck," I teased.

"I know," she pulled back and grinned; pulling the top of her dress down to reveal her lacy blue bra to me. "I've never fucked in a truck before."

"God! When you talk like that…" I growled and roughly pulled her laughing mouth down to my lips.

Bella grabbed my hands and placed them on her breasts. And fuck, if that wasn't all the encouragement we needed to start ripping each other's clothes off.

We're in a fit of laughter by the time we got naked and we only paused to moan when I thrust up into her in one fluid motion that sent shivers down both our spines. She shouted and arched, pressing her hands into my chest while she rode me.

I pulled myself up and kissed and bit her neck while I fucked her. "You feel so good, baby."

"You feel amazing," she groaned and rolled her hips and pushed me back down to the seat with a smirk.

It was a glorious sight to watch her ride me. Her tight walls gripped me; enveloping my cock in Bella's warm heat. It felt like heaven.

"Uuhh…Jasper!"

Bella was a vision as she gripped my shoulders tightly to anchor herself while she bounced herself on my cock. Her nails dug into my arms while my hands guided her hips. She clenched around me; her impending orgasm not far off. We rocked against each other in love and fervor, throwing caution to the wind as we grunted and screamed for each other when we found our release.

"Fuck, Bella," I breathed and she giggled at me.

"Damn, Jasper."

"You were amazing. I love you pissed off."

"You were so hot. Admittedly, I got a little scared when you were mad at her, but it was also a major turn on."

"I'm sorry I scared you," I said and then smirked, "but I think I've created a monster." I pulled myself up and started kissing along her neck. My desire for her hadn't lessened in the least. I was just taking a break.

She gasped and chuckled and guided me to her lips for a kiss. "Yes, and you are the only one that can satisfy my hunger."

"My, what will I do?" I asked teasingly with a kiss.

"You will do your absolute best to keep me…" she whispered against my lips as her hips started to move. "…occupied."

My life couldn't be any sweeter.

After another romp, we left my 'christened' truck behind and went inside to continue my newly invented version of 'hide and seek'. Tanya wasn't around and I made a quick call to her to see where she was said and to tell her to stay away for another couple of hours. We hung up with her cheering me on after telling me she hoped Bella screwed me into a coma.

I told her I hoped so too.

I caught up with Bella in my bedroom and nearly had a heart attack on the damn spot. My girl was insatiable and I had created a monster, because my girl was on all fours with her legs spread wide enough to give me the perfect view of her pretty pink pussy.

Bella looked at me over her shoulder and winked and I couldn't strip faster. After pulling out a condom from the side table's drawer and rolling it on, I watched Bella lick her lips, biting into the bottom one and asked under a hooded gaze, "Game on?"

I winked at her and she giggled and wiggled her ass at me. I climbed on the bed behind her and smacked her ass, making her moan. "Game on," I whispered in the quiet room before plunging into her heat.

The game was a fabulous idea. Bella and I fucked on almost every damn surface of my house. I will never look at the center table in the living room again without thinking of Bella writhing and moaning on top of it. A few picture frames needed to be replaced, because we slammed each other into them while we fucked on the staircase.

An uninhibited Bella was a very fun Bella. I have never come so much in one day in my entire life! The woman was heaven sent.

I needed a new end table. But Bella did warn me that it would break under the pressure. My office was also another place I will never be able to enter again without imagining Bella on my desk, in my chair, or over the back of my couch, screaming my name.

I wasn't even going to begin to talk about the dining room table, a part of the kitchen counter, my media room, or on the hood of my Bugatti. I loved that car even more now.

After a very late dinner, we blissfully fell asleep in the middle of a mountain of pillows before the fireplace in my room. There was not a damn thing in the world that will ever make me let go of Bella. I'd follow her to the end of the damn Earth. She was it for me.

_**Bella, February, 2011…**_

The morning light streamed into Jasper's room and found us on the floor in-between a mountain of pillows and blankets. I was sore in all the right places and exhausted as hell. The man was insatiable but I was no better.

After the unfortunate run-in with Alice, I was so wired and pissed and didn't know how to unleash it, I attacked Jasper. It was the best way I could explain it. But he was just as pissed and our outlet was by far the most pleasurable way I have ever calmed down in my life.

Jasper's sexual version of 'hide and seek' was phenomenal. What we did yesterday, I still couldn't believe we did that!

But yesterday was Jasper's day, and despite the interruption otherwise known as Alice, we had a great day. It was heartwarming, revealing and sexually stimulating.

My eyes rolled back in my head when his lips moved to where I wanted them the most.

"Mmm…Jasper," I gripped his hair and moaned while his tongue flicked, he sucked, and his teeth nibbled in all the right places. He was very good at sex! Oh my God! I was in love with a sex fiend. I'm so fucking lucky!

"Oh, Jasper!" I shouted when he bit down on my clit and I came in his mouth.

He pulled himself up from between my thighs with a grin on that beautifully rugged face of his and whispered, "I love you."

"You're beautiful, you know that?" I said, running a hand down his cheek affectionately. "And I love you too."

He ducked his head into my stomach and I could feel the heat of his cheek against my belly. He was blushing.

"Thank you," he mumbled into my skin.

"No, thank you," I said and lifted his head. "Kiss me."

I didn't have to ask twice.

"We should head downstairs, right?" he sighed as we got out of the shower.

"Yeah, we need food and you need to get back to reality," I said, handing him a towel. But he used it to dry me off. He was always doting on me and I loved it.

"Fucking hate reality," he pouted and hugged me to him. I chuckled and he rocked his hips into me; letting me feel how serious he was about what he was about to say. "Bella, let's stay here, fuck, eat and sleep all day."

"Another day."

"You promise?" he smirked into my neck and palmed my left breast, rubbing the taut nipple.

"I'm counting on it."

And I was. I loved fucking Jasper. Who I used be wouldn't admit that. But with Jasper, I wasn't afraid of sex and all the pleasures it had to offer. I loved it. I reveled in it.

After getting dressed, we were met downstairs by Edward and Tanya. I was sure that with the excited look on Tanya's face, and the fact that Jasper told me last night that he had called and told her to stay away yesterday; she knew what we were up to and possibly told everyone.

But Edward had to be the first to speak up. "What happened here?" he smirked, looking around Jasper's foyer and then his gleaming eyes landed on me. "Did a hurricane pass through?"

If only he knew how confident I had grown in twenty four hours; from sucking Jasper's dick on the staircase to letting him take me from behind in front of the fireplace. Damn, I will never look at these rooms the same way again.

"Yeah, Hurricane Bella," Tanya mused and winked at me.

"Yeah, and she really can't talk to you right now because she needs to sit and be fed and then take some painkillers and go lie down."

Jasper was blushing and Tanya was snickering while Edward tried to best me. "Why?" I was about to wipe that smirk off his face.

"Ask your friend, he was the one who insisted on a game of 'let's fuck in every room of the house'." I held my lower back and cranked my neck, pretending to be in pain. Then I turned to Jasper. "I am not a robot, you know." He was all smiles before I turned back to a stunned Edward and a cackling Tanya. "Oh, and I'm going to call the cleaning crew. You two, don't sit on the couch. Or use the dining table. Or the kitchen counter. Oh! And watch out for glass. Don't walk barefooted. I'm going to go get some coffee."

Jasper and Tanya were in a fit of laughter while Edward stood there, speechless.

I did call the cleaning crew and they said they would be here in an hour. They would get everything back in order. Sue called over the intercom.

"_Bella?" _

"Yeah?" I answered on my end.

"_You and Jasper come over for breakfast, sweetie,"_ she snickered.

"Why?" I knew why but Sue would share anyways. She was almost as bad as Tanya sometimes.

"_Because I'm sure you two need it and I doubt you can move, much less, lift a frying pan, Bella." _

Tanya was laughing behind me and I shot her a dirty look. It made her laugh harder. "We'll be right there," I told Sue.

Jasper, me, Tanya and Edward all walked over to the main house. We had breakfast with Sue, Emmett, Rose and Maria, where Jasper and I were teased mercilessly and coerced into giving each other quick pecks on the lips. They were met with cheers and applause.

Jasper was from a truly amazing family. Even something so personal was beautiful to them. Everyone around the table loved Jasper and me and only wanted what was best for us.

It made my heart swell with joy.

Jasper and I spent our time lounging around the main house. We mainly spent our time in the library, challenging each other on our extensive knowledge of the written word. The cleaning crew had just left when Tanya came running into the library. She leapt on me and we went tumbling to the floor.

"Bella, it's ready," she squealed excitedly on top of me.

"Babe, don't move, I'm filming you two, and Action!" Edward exclaimed.

Tanya turned to him and reminded him of my boyfriend, who was currently shooting daggers at him. "Shut up before Jasper beats you into the ground."

"That happened once and I was sick that day," Edward pouted.

"Please!" I exclaimed and Jasper laughed. It was enough to make him relax.

"Your place is ready?" I asked.

Tanya was so excited to be living in Houston. She was happy she would be near. But she and Edward would be alternating between Houston and Chicago since he still lived there.

"Yep!"

We squealed together and hugged before we got up. I was more than welcomed to go and spend time with Tanya whenever I felt like it.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Bella. You're my friend," she said, warming my heart.

"So are you gonna pack now?" Jasper smirked at her.

"So you can have the house to yourself to fuck Bella's brains to mush?" Tanya countered. "I don't think so. Plus! She can come and hide from you with me anytime she wants."

Jasper stuck his tongue out at her and Tanya returned the playful gesture.

Most of lunch was spent with Jasper and Edward discussing business and me and Tanya talking. She was a great friend; attentive, kind and funny.

Around two pm, she and Rose kidnapped me, stating that it was time to get ready for the Pre-Valentine Fair. I'd forgotten that was today, and before I could protest, I was yanked from the library and escorted over to Jasper's by the girls.

"Tanya, I'm perfectly fine getting ready by myself," I said to no avail as she and Rose pulled me up the stairs.

They stopped at the top and exchanged a look that told me I was in big trouble before Tanya laughed manically, "Oh, silly Bella. Not with what we have planned, honey."

I had to admit, I was a little afraid of the crazed look in Tanya's eyes.

**~~abt~~**

"This fair is a great event, Bella. You're going to enjoy yourself," Tanya grunted while she tried to rip my hair out of my skull. I couldn't stop squirming. I tried to get away from her but she was quick. "I swear to God, Bella, if you don't hold still…"

"Bella will kick your ass," Rose told Tanya.

"But I need to make her look like desirable," Tanya whined.

"She's desirable on her own," Rose reasoned for me while I continued trying to make a run for it.

After Tanya and Rose had abducted me, they filled me in on their plan. Tanya was a trained stylist and she said I was long overdue for a makeover. But she would be rectifying that today.

"That brown without highlights thingie ain't working for me, darlin'," Tanya said after she decided that my hair needed to be treated, cut, and colored. "Now, go shower and let's get started."

I did as I was told and after throwing on a black lacy panty and bra set, and a fluffy white bathrobe, I went back to Tanya's room; where she was waiting in her beautification chamber to torture me.

"Tanya! Ow!"

"Big baby," she muttered, yanking on my hair some more. "I only have one more thing to do, Bella."

"I'm not a baby," I pouted, making Rose laugh. Her hair and makeup were already done and she looked radiant. But she was waiting to see how my hair would turn out.

"Okay, you're not a baby, but you have to sit still and let me finish, Bella," Tanya pleaded and I obeyed. Actually, I really wanted to see how it turned out too. "I'm almost through."

'Almost through' turned into another ten minutes until Tanya let me out of her chair with a look of pride on her face. "You look gorgeous, Bella! Go look! Go look!" she said, jumping up and down excitedly.

"You look amazing, Bella," Rose commented with a smile. "Trust me, go look."

I nodded and went to my room. When I got there, who I saw in the mirror took my own breath away. I looked gorgeous! My normally long brown hair had been transformed. Tanya had cut it. It was now in the middle of my back and had been highlighted with an almost ginger looking shade.

I must have been standing there for a long time, running my hand through my hair because I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Jasper staring at me through the mirror.

"You look gorgeous, darlin'," he said with darkened eyes and a husky tone as he took a step into my room and closed the door behind him, leaning against it.

I was blushing all over. "Thank you."

He pushed up off the door and walked over to me, running a finger to run through my hair. "This is only an extension of your beauty though."

"And seeing as you're dressed, and I'm not, I have to get ready," I smiled up at him before glancing down at his clothes.

He groaned and spun me around, pulling me into his arms. "We could be late," he suggested in my ear. I loved how deep and sultry his voice sounded.

"No," I said, even if I wanted to kick myself for saying that. "I want to go. I want to enjoy myself and then…" I kissed him before pulling away to whisper in his ear, "who knows."

Jasper loved that suggestion, and with a smack on my butt, he left so I could get ready.

I grabbed my dark skinny jeans and threw them on. I had the outfit laid out on the bed before showering. I pulled the white cotton and lace top over my head and then put on my black leather jacket and my black boots. Thanks to Tanya, my makeup was already been done. She had gone with a light tone and smoky eyes, just like I liked.

I met Rose and Tanya at the top of the stairs and we descended them together.

Emmett, Edward and Jasper were playing obsessing and screaming at each other over a video game, and judging by the sounds of it, Jasper was winning. Need for Speed was one of his favorites. They were just asking for it by playing against him.

But everyone stopped when we entered the room. The guys stood and came over to us; each one taking his respective date by hand to lead us outside.

Jasper led me outside while I took the opportunity to admire my boyfriend. We were dressed almost identically. Jasper was in all black and looked like a rock star out of my deepest fantasies. I wanted to pour whipped cream on him and lick it all off before riding him like the cowboy he was.

Emmett and the others were piled in his truck and making kissing noises at Jasper and me when we came out of the house. Jasper flipped them the bird. I was laughing when Emmett challenged him and drove off. "Beat us there, Whitlock, I dare you."

At first, I wondered what Emmett was talking about and why he wasn't taking us with him. But those silly questions died down when my already incredibly hot guy climbed on his bike. He handed me a helmet and I took it in a daze. "You ready, baby?" he asked while pulling on his own helmet. I climbed on the back of the bike and he fired up the engine.

"Yeah!" I yelled over the rev of the engine and gripped him tight before he took off with us.

Tonight was going to be great.


	33. Valentine's Fair II

_**AN: Part II. Bella has fun. James has a plan. **_

_**Chapter thirty two: Valentine's Fair II**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, February, 2011…<strong>_

* * *

><p>Jasper was a fast rider. We caught up to Emmett's truck in no time and passed them. I loved holding on to him tightly and turn on the curves with him. I felt elated; free to be with him like this. And I intended on asking him for more bike rides. I loved every second of it even though I never thought I'd be a person to love speed. But this was too thrilling to beat. Everything in my life was rapidly changing, and it was all because of Jasper and his family. I loved them so much.<p>

We slowed as we approached town. There were people everywhere. And Jasper's speed moved down to a crawling pace as he maneuvered the bike through the throes of people. He parked, and Emmett's truck came up alongside us, parking as well. Tanya and Rose got out first and Tanya was in my hair immediately, fixing it and scolding Jasper, after I took off my helmet. He just laughed and shook his head.

But I was in awe. The town had been transformed into a Valentine's haven. There was red and white everywhere and everyone was as friendly as ever. It was really cool that they did this before Valentine's because most people wanted to spend that day alone and together.

There was music and cheering all around me, and I was looking forward to the fun we could get to have tonight.

"This is just…wow," I stated, taking Jasper's hand as he kissed my cheek.

"You ready for it, darlin'?"

"Yeah!" I was so excited.

"Welcome to Henderson's little pre-Valentine soiree," Jasper smiled, leading me into the middle of the fun.

"I think I'm going love this."

"Then let's have some fun," he declared, pulling me further into the crowd.

It was like Mardi Gras with a romantic theme to it. There was laughter, and romance filled the air. Couples were out in the streets, happily conversing with one another and music was making the mood light and fun.

"This is huge!" I exclaimed, taking in the sights.

"They're all kinds of things to do," Jasper explained.

"Where should we start?"I turned excitedly to him and asked.

"Wherever you want," Jasper said.

I spotted Emmett and pointed. "Let's go see what they're up to."

Emmett was over by a batting cage and I pulled Jasper over there. Emmett was winning, and Rose was cheering him on. I started to cheer with her until Emmett won her a prize. Edward was up next, and he did great; winning a prize for Tanya. Tanya accepted it and kissed him on the cheek, making Edward blush and me and Emmett start to tease him with Jasper laughing on.

"I think Em is a bad influence on you, honey," Jasper said in my ear, "and I love it. I'm glad you're with me, baby."

I looked up into his eyes with a wide and happy grin on my face. "I'm happy I'm here too."

"Do you want to take a turn?" I asked Jasper, taking his hand and pulling him over to the batting cage.

He smiled, but stopped outside the gate and said, "Not before you."

He handed me a bat and placed the helmet on my head. "I want to see what my girl can do."

"Really?" I said ecstatically. I kind of wanted to try. I hadn't done anything like this in such a long time.

"Come on, baby!" Jasper said merrily. "I want to you to win me something."

Jasper held the door open and I stepped inside. With a brave sigh, I prepared myself and when the first ball came at me, I took a swing and knocked it away. Jasper cheered me on, and I did it again and again. They all cheered and I won a prize for Jasper; which he proudly accepted and pulled me into a kiss with our friends making gagging sounds.

Then it was Jasper's turn in the cage, and he won with ease. I cheered him the entire time and he won me a huge red and white teddy bear. Emmett let us load all our prizes in the truck and then we went about having some more fun.

It was time to go on all the rides. It was my first time, so everyone decided that I should pick the first ride. There was so much to choose from. A Ferris wheel, a carousel, a bull ride and I didn't know what I wanted. It was a great feeling to be this confused with choices. But I opted for the Ferris wheel first.

Walking over to it, I got a little scared, but Emmett was there. He placed a heavy arm on my shoulder; I felt like I was been enveloped by a bear. "Don't worry, Bells, you're gonna love this." His mischievous glint worried me along Jasper's chuckles.

But what's the worst that could happen?

**~~abt~~**

"Whoo!" I cheered as the Ferris wheel took us up again. I couldn't stop cheering and laughing. "Jasper! Whoo hoo!"

He was right beside me, and I grabbed his hand, kissing the back of it quickly while the ride took us down again. "Remind me to take you to Six Flags sometime soon," Jasper chuckled, laughing at my excitement.

"Yeah! Ahh!" I laughed as the ride went up again.

"Having a great time, Bells?" Emmett asked from the seat below us.

"Yeah! Whoo!" I replied, making Jasper laugh even more. Emmett and Rose guffaws were a thrill to hear also.

When it finally slowed to a stop, we got off and I wobbled a bit on my feet, but giggled it off while Jasper held me upright.

"Thanks," I breathed, looking up at him, getting lost in his mesmerizing eyes for a minute. But then it happened.

I was looking into Jasper's eyes when I felt it. It was the strangest feeling. It overtook me. It was swallowing me whole and giving me a familiar shudder of fear. It ran down my spine and I felt oddly used to it. Someone was watching me.

I pulled away from Jasper and started looking around. I spun around in the laughing crowd until I was dizzy. I could see curiosity and confusion on my friends' faces but not Jasper's. His held concern. "Bella, what is it?"

I didn't answer and he took me by the shoulders and made me face him. "What are you looking for? What's wrong?"

I wouldn't lie to him. "I don't know. I honestly don't know, but..."

Rose joined her brother in front of me, and so did, Emmett, Tanya and Edward. They all surrounded me, asking what's wrong. "I don't know," I said again shakily. "I just feel weird. I got off the ride and I felt off."

"Maybe you need to sit down," Rose tried.

"Not like I'm going to faint weird, Rose," I told her. "I feel like I'm being watched."

Jasper frowned and he and Emmett exchanged a look. They told Edward to stay with us and Jasper and Emmett went into the crowd.

Something was wrong. I could feel it. Something dangerous was here.

_**James, February, 2011… **_

_My conversation with Vicky had gone well. She called her hairstylist and we got my disguise done. It was temporary and only for the trip. I was being watched. It was the only logical explanation. Jasper was smart enough to take Marie away. He must be watching me. He had the money to do it so I had to be extra careful with my plan. _

_After my disguise was done, I made Vicky and her hairstylist leave. She didn't like it, but she wouldn't disobey me; at least not for long and not when it didn't benefit her. _

_For this part of my plan, I needed to do it alone. I got out on my cell and called my contact when I was finally alone. He picked up on the second ring. _

"_Are they still watching me?" No pleasantries were needed with Laurent and I. We understood each other and I trusted no one else to help me with this plan to get Marie back and under my command. She had some very harsh days ahead of her when she finally got back home. But for now…_

"_Yes," Laurent said. "You're good, James, but so are Jasper's men. They are blocking me every which way. Now that we have a location for your wife, I thought you could just go, but they are very equipped and dangerous for a bunch of good guys. Maybe you should just forget her, James."_

_I scoffed. I wasn't even going to bother and get angry at him. Leaving Marie be was out of the question. She and her little boyfriend were going to learn a very valuable lesson at my hand. I had taught Garrett that lesson, but apparently, this Jasper needed to learn it too. _

"_No. That's out of the question. Now I've done my part. I'm under disguise. I'm not going to take her yet. I only want to see her." _

"_Fine," Laurent sighed. "Since it's just that, it'll be easier. Now from what you said about what Victoria weaseled out of that Alice person, Marie is staying with this Jasper." I bristled when I heard that. The things that piece of shit must have done to my angel. How dare he touch what's mine? _

"_Make it happen." _

"_Alright then. Have fun in Texas." I laughed at Laurent's humor. _

Now here I was, standing so close to Marie. It was her, but she looked so different. Jasper had changed her; her hair, her body…they were all ruined. I had my work cut out for me when I got her back.

All that work was now down the drain and my Marie looked like some fat bitch!

I took a calming breath and watched her being surrounded by those sluts and a tall, lanky guy; who was currently holding Marie's hand. I could kill him.

I'd gone through so much to see her. I changed my hair; the natural blond shade I was born with had been turned to black thanks to Vicky's hairstylist friend. I didn't tell Vicky about us being watched. She didn't need to know. She wouldn't be apart of the ending. Laurent had told me that Jasper was using some PI named Jenks and he was very hard to turn. He won't betray the Whitlocks. Those bastards paid good money and Laurent thinks Jenks and his team must be earning a fortune from keeping Marie away from me.

Come to think of it, Charlie must be under their protection too. He must have lied to Renee. He knew exactly where Marie was. But it was too late. I couldn't touch him yet. Maybe after I got back Marie, I'd kill him and her mother.

Marie needed no one but me.

I looked around cautiously. I couldn't see Jasper's team but they saw me. I don't know if my slip away now was as successful as I hoped, but I had to see Marie.

I knew him right away. I saw Jasper briskly walking back with a guy as huge as a bear. Vicky had convinced Alice to send her a picture of Jasper and she did. I wanted to know what the bastard looked like. He and his family were very private. There weren't many pictures of him lying around on the Internet.

Jasper and the huge guy approached Marie and she threw her arms around Jasper and he quickly kissed her. I was fuming.

When they pulled away, he whispered something in her ear. She was hanging on his every word. He had found a way into Marie's mind and deluded and stole her from me.

I turned and walked away. I had seen enough for one day. When the time was right, I'd be back for her.

_**Bella**_

"You okay?" Jasper said, cradling my face. I felt so safe in his arms.

"Yes." I was still breathing raggedly but I felt better now that he and Emmett were back. I was sorry for my little outburst. I turned to everyone around me, taking in their concerned look. "I'm so sorry," I told them.

Tanya was the first to denounce my apology. "Bella, don't be silly. You're not home free, so we have to be on guard no matter what."

"She's right," Jasper added.

Jasper looked oddly sure about something. "Jasper, do you have guards here?"

"I've got Sam."

"Sam is a guard?"

"Has been Jasper's bodyguard since after his kidnapping, Bella," Rose told me.

"That's why he hangs around me," I surmised.

"Yeah," Jasper whispered and pulled me back in his arms.

"Did you call Jenks?"

"No."

"Jasper…"

"Bella, he isn't here. Jenks would have called."

"Okay."

I sighed in relief and felt a little safer knowing that Sam was close by. He was keeping an eye on things, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something bad had been close. "I don't know what happened. I just…lost it. I'm sorry I'm fucking this up."

"You're not fucking anything up," Edward chuckled. "This is a lot of fun." Everyone gave him a stern look at his horrible joke, but I appreciated it.

"I want to forget. I'm not going to let my nerves ruin tonight. Are you guys ready to have more fun?"

"Are you?" Tanya asked.

"Yeah," I smiled and I meant it. I was ready. Whatever that feeling was, it was gone now and I wasn't going to let it scare me off or fuck up my night.

We all rejoined the fun and had a great time. Emmett and Edward entered a pie eating contest and Emmett won. I cheered like crazy and tried my best to forget whatever lingering worry I had. Jasper kept his eyes on me. He was still worried. It was etched across his features but he didn't voice it. He was giving me the space to.

We moved on from the eating contest to Rose, me and Tanya going on the carrousel. Emmett was crazy for coming on too, and Jasper and Edward had warned. He had to get off early to go puke somewhere. Rose couldn't stop laughing.

From there, we went on to stacked bottles, which the guys knocked down for us and won prizes. The recent worrisome thoughts I had, were dissipating and I was glad. Maybe it was just anxiety and nothing more. But somewhere in my subconscious, I didn't believe that. I truly believed that there was someone here. Someone who didn't belong here and they were watching me.

Someone evil.

But like I told everyone, I wasn't going to let it ruin my night.

Our group moved to the arcades, which were open, and we played pinball. Afterward, we ate, we had fun, we cruised through town and enjoyed the festivities.

"Are you okay?" Jasper asked with his arm slung over my shoulder as we walked along the crowded street.

"Yeah," I looked up at him and smiled. "I wasn't…before. I don't know what came over me but it's gone now and I'm having a lot fun. Thank you for taking me."

Jasper smiled broadly and kissed my forehead as we walked on with our friends ahead of us.

We were a little away from the mass in the streets now when Tanya squealed and started to point at this huge tent. Loud country music and screams of excitement were coming from over there and Edward was feverishly shaking his head 'no' while Tanya nodded, 'yes'.

"We're not doing it," Edward said. "And that is it!"

"Doing what?"

Emmett and Rose leered at me and Jasper's body was shaking with laughter. "We're doing it, aren't we?" Jasper asked; he directed his question to Tanya.

"Hell yea! We are!" She ran off after that, dragging a pouting Edward behind her and we followed.

"You think you're up for it, darlin'?" Jasper asked, gesturing toward the tent.

"I think so?" It was more of a question than a confirmation but it was all the encouragement Jasper needed. I was lifted up in his arms and carried inside.

It was amazing. Everyone on the dance floor was moving so fast while some guy on podium was talking or singing rapidly. "Nooo…" I said, shaking my head. "I can't do this."

Jasper pouted. "Why?"

"Because, I can't do…" I pointed at the people dancing, "that!"

"And you call yourself a dancer?" he teased with a quirked brow.

"Yeah, I can dance, but not the dance you do," I tried to reason as he stepped closer; invading my space and making me fall under his spell. Jasper was too alluring for his good.

"Why not?" he queried with that traitorous smirk on his handsome face. Jasper knew what he was doing to me. He knew that he was hard to resist.

"Because I didn't learn!" I gasped as he pulled me to him; my eyes involuntarily closing when he dipped his head and kissed my neck. I trembled from the slight touch of his lips.

"Well darlin', "he drawled. "No time like the present to learn."

I wasn't so sure about that so I tried to run away. But I slammed into Emmett and Rose took her brother out on the dance floor for the fast pace dance while Emmett slung an arm over my shoulder and asked, "Are you ready for this?"

"No!"

"Good! Let's get to it!"

"Emmett, no! I'll suck!"

He laughed his boisterous laugh at me and started to pull me closer to the dance floor.

I looked into the crowd and I could a lot of familiar faces. Maria was here and so was Esme and Carlisle. Rose just switched partners and she was now dancing with her Mom's former dance partner while Jasper was dancing with his mom.

"Ready, Bells?" Emmett shouted.

"No!"

He chuckled and pulled me up in his arms. He placed one around my waist and took my hand in the other. It looked like we were going to waltz, but it was one that left you dizzy and disoriented.

Emmett was looking for an opening to jump in and I was shaking my head 'no' and squealing in his arms. "Emmett, I can't!"

"Yeah, you can!"

He found the opening he was looking for and we were off.

The man on the stage kept throwing out instructions at us and I was trying to follow what he was rapidly saying. Emmett was great at it and he was bouncing us in line with the others with ease. I started to like it. I started to chuckle and laugh even, as we went on and on. But then Emmett ruined it.

"You ready again?" Emmett shouted over the music.

"For what?" I asked in a panicked tone.

"We're gonna switch partners."

"Huh?" I almost missed a step when he said that. How in the hell would I switch partners when I felt like I was in a speeding car going round and around.

But apparently, Emmett and Jasper knew how.

I saw him and Maria approaching. She laughed and shouted my name and when we were close enough, all of a sudden, I was in Jasper's arms going round and around. And Maria was in Emmett's and laughing as they went on ahead of Jasper and me.

"What the hell?"

"Like it yet?" Jasper asked as he skipped us around with everyone else.

I laughed. "Getting there!"

"Let's work on that then!" Jasper yelled while making me squeal as we went a little faster.


	34. Valentine's Fair III

_**AN: Part III. Bella continues to have fun. Alice has a few things to say. **_

_**Chapter thirty three: Valentine's Fair III**_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, February, 2011…<strong>_

* * *

><p>I was so dizzy when I stumbled out of the tent, laughing, "Oh my God!"<p>

"Someone is having fun," Jasper stated and caught me before I could fall to the ground.

"Yes," I breathed, exhausted from the dance. "That was…this is… Oh fuck it, I'm speechless."

Jasper laughed. "That's good to know. Want a beer?"

"Yes." He took my hand and we went and got two beers. We found a bench and took a seat to rest for a bit.

"How do you like things so far?" Jasper asked after we finished our beers.

"Aside from my moment of panic, it's been great," I laughed. "Please, tell me we're coming back next year."

Jasper gleamed. "We'll be back next year."

I sighed and leaned back against him. I loved it here. The atmosphere was alive and filled with love and playfulness. "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" Jasper mused and I turned and looked up to see him watching me intently.

"Very much. I love it here."

He sighed in relief and gave me a broad smile. "I'm glad you are, darlin', " he said. "I love that you love this."

"I do." I moved in for a kiss and he happily met me halfway. And when we pulled away to catch our breath, I just sat there with my head on his shoulder and sighed in contentment at how I lucky I was to be here…with him.

I don't know where it came from, but I voiced it jokingly anyways; even if I meant it. I guess I just wanted to see what his answer would be. "Did you ever think when you found your dream girl, she'd come with so much baggage?"

Jasper eased me up to look directly into my eyes. "It doesn't matter the amount of baggage you come with, I just want you and we'll deal with it together."

"Will you always know the right thing to say?"

"I don't know," he said honestly. "I can only hope so."

"You're unbelievable," I murmured. "Sometimes I think I'm dreaming."

"Me too," he agreed. "And if so, I don't wanna wake up, baby."

"I love how you love, Jasper," I told him while he palmed my cheek, caressing it. "You love beautifully. You're kind, strong and so sweet."

He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He just pulled me to his lips and I was lost.

The kiss started off sweet and gentle, but then it quickly grew more heated until she happened.

"What the hell, Jasper?!" We jumped and parted at the screech of Alice's voice. I think I bit Jasper's lip and I was furious. I snapped my head to her and glared while she stood there with her hand on her hip and tapping her foot.

I was getting tired of this girl. What the hell was wrong with her? Could she really not take no for an answer? Didn't she understand what a breakup meant?

"You were actually serious? You actually took _her _to something you and I loved?"

"Alice, you hated this," Jasper said with a roll of his eyes. "You thought it was too local and you only came on my arm so you could gloat at other socialites that might have happened to show up." His good mood was disappearing. Alice always seemed to bring out the worst in him.

"I never thought that," she edged. But it was a lie. It was written all over her.

"If I remember correctly," Jasper stated, "you called it 'too local and juvenile for your taste'."

She leered at me and smirked. "Well, when you put it that way, I suppose it will do for simple people like that."

"Shut up, Alice!" Jasper said harshly. I ran a hand on his arm, hoping to calm him down.

He glanced at me and gave me a tight smile, showing me that he was trying very hard to stay in a good mood.

"Jasper, why don't you stop this silliness and stop stringing that…" Alice said, waving at me dismissively, "along and let's get back together. I know you. I know what you're doing. You're punishing me. You're showing me what it's like without you. I get it, and I'm sorry, Jazzy."

Jasper growled and cursed under his breath and shut his eyes tight. He let go of me and rubbed his temple. Alice continued to spurt nonsense and his eyes snapped open and when he spoke to her, his drawl seemed to deepen. If Alice wasn't around, it would have been hot, but with her here, I was too pissed to care.

"What the hell are you talking about, Alice?" Her name sounded bitter on his tongue. "We're over. Through! And you're standing here, telling me that I should forgive you and I'm stringing Bella along to make you jealous?! When since my damn life revolved around you?!"

Alice had no time to answer. Jasper was pissed. He sprang up and I followed. Emmett and the others were making their way over to us and Maria was now at my side. While Rose was flanking her brother, and Edward had a tight hold on Tanya's arms. She was ready to pounce.

"Jasper, are you crazy?" Alice said. This woman was delusional. There was all this support for Jasper and she was going to continue with her foolishness. "Who are you going to find that's better than me? And please, Jazzy, don't say the help. I've had enough fun with that joke."

"Alice, let's leave this until after my wedding day, shall we?" Rose said in a clipped tone. She was trying to rein in her own temper. Sue said Alice had until after Emmett and Rose's wedding day and reception to be in our lives and then she was gone.

March couldn't get here fast enough for me.

"I have no problem with that, Rosalie," Alice explained. "Jasper is the one being disrespectful by showing up to a town function with that…person on his arm like they're dating."

Just as she said it, a woman walked up. She was the splitting image of Alice expect her hair was longer. She looked at Maria by my side and smiled slightly and nodded her head to the both of us. She tried to whisper something to Alice, but Alice wasn't having it.

"Excuse me?!" she screeched at the woman. "I will not stand here and let Jasper disrespect me with that bitch! Whose side are you on?"

"A side that is thinking rationally," the woman said to her. I watched everyone around me smile. "Whatever you and Jasper had is over. Please, accept it and move on."

"If you want to kiss his mother's ass, be my guest, but not me," Alice hissed.

Maria bristled beside me. "Clara, it's okay. We're all adults here," Maria glanced at Alice, looking her up and down with scorn. "At least some of us are. Why don't we leave them to work this out?"

Clara nodded and walked by me with a kind smile. That woman was way too nice to be Alice's mother. But then again, who was I to talk? I had Renee as mine and she was helping James look for me.

Maria and Clara left, and Alice resumed her attack. "Jasper, we should talk about this…disgrace."

"Alice, you should go," Rose said calmly while I placed my hand in Jasper's, trying to calm him. He was positively vibrating with anger. "This isn't helping."

"Rosalie, please, this is between me and Jasper," Alice said, dismissing Rose.

Emmett stepped in and held onto Rose's arm; she shuddered with her anger. She looked like she wanted to rip Alice to shreds. "When's my dress getting here?" Rose already told us it was soon but I think she now wanted an exact date.

"Very soon, and I think you'll be pleased," Alice said with a triumphant look on her face as she eyed me. She was boasting that she was needed by the family but I knew better.

"Good," Rose said with a tight smile and turned to her brother. "Why don't we go back inside?"

Jasper wordlessly took my hand in a vice grip and turned to follow behind Rose, but Alice had to open her big mouth.

"Jasper, where do you think you're going with that whore?"

_Whore? _ "Who the hell you think you're calling a whore, you slut?" I hissed at her. I was gone. I was beyond angry. This was it. It was the final straw. I wouldn't stand for it anymore. I wasn't the same frail girl she'd met and scared the crap out of. I had grown. I was different. And I won't stand for this shit!

"Who are you calling a slut?" Alice shouted at me.

"You, you slut!"

She stepped closer and then paused when I heard Tanya cursing Edward to let her go. "Yes, Edward, let go of that dog."

"Don't you dare insult Tanya, you piece of shit!" I yelled and I felt Jasper's arm wrap around my waist. He was holding me back and I wasn't even aware that I was advancing on Alice until I felt it.

"Excuse me? Shut the fuck up, you trailer park whore!" Alice said. "I'll insult who I want."

That did it. I don't know where it came from. But a mountain of anger surged through me and I got away from Jasper and rushed Alice. She looked petrified and I almost had my hands on her before Jasper grabbed me and lifted me up.

I fought against his hold. "Let me go!" I screamed at him and then turned to her. "Call me a 'whore' one more time, bitch!" I was ready to knock her lights out. Just one good punch. That was all I need. I just had to land one good punch and it would be over. Jasper was teaching me well enough.

"How dare you?" she screeched.

"Fuck you!" I screamed as Jasper tightened his hold on me while I fought him with all my might. But every time I got away, he caught me.

"Jasper, are you gonna let her threaten me?" Alice shouted to him. But Jasper didn't answer. He was too busy watching my every move and all I wanted to do was get away and pounce on Alice. I wanted to rip her hair out. I was sick of these horrid bitches thinking that I was their fucking toy. I couldn't get my hands on Vicky, but I could get them around Alice's throat if she called me something else.

"Oh shut the fuck up!" I yelled at her. "Let him go. And if you don't, I'll kick your ass all over Texas until you do. He doesn't want you! Get over it."

"Oh damn," I heard Emmett say. He was clapping from somewhere behind me. "It looks like Bella got a little southern in her."

I would have laughed at the double innuendo, but I ignored it. I wanted to kick some ass. I was tired of people walking all over me; using me, insulting me.

"You really think I would let Jasper go to a piece of shit like you?" Alice frowned. "You're nothing."

I scoffed and relaxed, though Jasper was still eyeing me suspiciously. He didn't believe I was calm. "And you're a snotty bitch who was probably bad in bed." Since Alice loved to focus on Jasper and me sleeping together. I would use that. "Luckily for him, I'm not."

Alice's eyes widened and Emmett and Edward and Tanya started laughing.

"Leave, Alice," Jasper said calmly without looking around at her, "and for the last time, it's over between us. If you can't accept it, that's your problem."

"It's a free country," Alice smirked. "I don't have to go anywhere."

"Alright then," Jasper simply said. He stepped closer to me, lifted me up and threw me over his shoulder like a caveman while Emmett and Edward cheered and we left.

Jasper walked a good way, getting lost in the crowd with me over his shoulder until he finally stopped and put me down. We didn't say anything to each other. Jasper just took my hand and walked us over to his bike. He climbed and I followed suit. He started it up and after weaving his way through the people, we were off.

By the time we got home, I was in overdrive. My anger had changed into lust and my need for Jasper was drowning out all coherent thought. The slightest move he made appealed to me.

I was panting in need. And when he said, "Bella, are you okay?" I couldn't answer. I just grabbed him and kissed him.

Jasper responded right away, pulling me into his hard body. We stumbled over to the door, slamming into the wall beside it until Jasper got it opened and then we stumbled into the house. Jasper blindingly walked us over into the living room in the dark and over to the couch.

The moonlight shining through the window, made it possible for me to see Jasper's eyes, smoldering with desire. I could feel his rock hard erection pressing into me, and wanting to be free from the confines of his jeans. I moaned and pushed my body up into his, needing more; needing all of him.

"I want you," I whispered as he ripped my top off. My jacket was somewhere but who cared.

"I want you too," Jasper said, nipping my neck while our hands worked frantically to free ourselves from our clothes.

I didn't want it to be sweet. I didn't want to be gentle. I wanted to quench my need for him. And it seemed like Jasper wanted the same thing. There was no apprehension in his darkened eyes as he got up to free himself from his jeans and threw them one side. I bit my lip and moaned when I saw that he wasn't wearing anything underneath.

He climbed back on top of me and I pulled him into a deep kiss while he pushed into me.

"Ah…uh…" I groaned. I felt so full. I had gotten exactly what I wanted.

We rocked against each other; pushing and pulling while our passion mounted. We shouted, grunted and screamed for one another as the passion elevated. We switched positions and I rode Jasper with wild abandon. I wanted it. I needed it. I wanted that high. He was driving his hard cock into me and I never wanted him to stop and told him so.

He kept a firm grip on my thighs. His cock was so deep, it was hitting a spot inside me that sent me spiraling.

I was climbing. I was right there. I was at the edge. Jasper was pistoling into me; releasing his frustration while taking me, claiming me, pleasuring me. "Jasper, I want to…"

He read my mind. "Come with me, Bella," he commanded and I did. I fell over the edge with Jasper's name on my lips and an intense orgasm throttling through me.

When we stopped, I felt faint. I couldn't stop shaking and I collapsed on top of him, without a breath. He held me to him, struggling to regain his bearings also. "Bella, that was…"

"A relief," I chuckled shakily and felt Jasper's chest move beneath me with his own laughter.

"It really was."

I closed my eyes and relaxed against Jasper. His hand languidly running up and down my back, and while it was pleasant, it was stirring my desire. Gently, I started to rock against him and felt his cock hardening inside of me. It propelled me to move a little more and I sat up, bracing my hands on his chest and looked down into his smiling eyes.

"Round two?" Jasper said, circling his hips and thrusting up into me.

I sighed and bit my bottom lip with a smile of my own, "Round two."


	35. You and Me

_**AN: Some Jasper and Bella time. No interruptions. No crazy Alice. This is the day after the Fair. **_

_**Chapter thirty four: You and Me**_

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><p><em><strong>Jasper, February, 2011…<strong>_

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><p>She gripped my hair tightly, moaning as I grazed my lips down her jaw on the way to her lovely neck. Her head was thrown back giving me better access to her collarbone which I greedily nipped and sucked at.<p>

I had gotten us upstairs with Bella, nibbling on the shell of my ear, and with unbelievable focus. She wanted to forget Alice and everything that was said and I couldn't agree more. We needed this.

I slammed Bella into the wall while pushing my bedroom door open. She giggled against my ear and I smacked her ass and moved us inside. She moaned and bit down on my ear and I stopped to kiss her.

My intention was to get her on the bed and have my way with her, but Bella had other plans. She wanted to keep this playful and the ball in her court. She pulled away, giggled at me and jumped out of my arms.

"What are you up to?" She didn't answer and I couldn't keep my eyes off of her naked ass as she sauntered over to the bed, got in, pulled herself to the middle of it; leaning back on her elbows with her legs crossed, hiding where I wanted to be the most right now, and crooking her finger at me with a sultry look in her eyes as she openly eyed my equally naked body.

I loved her like this; naked, beautiful and happy. What more could I ask for?

I climbed in too. Bella's gaze made me tremble in their intensity as I crawled to her like a willing servant. And I was. I was willing to do whatever it took to make her happy.

"I'm not up to anything besides wanting to be with you," she finally stated when I hovered over her before she pulled me down on top of her and into a kiss. She continued to giggle against my lips until my hands started trailing down her thighs and dipped between them, finding her wet folds and pushing a single digit inside of her. She gasped then, moaned, and closed her eyes while lifting her hips to begin moving with me. I pulled the finger out under Bella's intense gaze and tasted her essence.

"Sweeter than honey, darlin'," I told her. She moaned and bit into that bottom lip of hers and then pulled me into a kiss. My finger dipped inside her depths again and she arched into my touch.

Pulling away from her tempting lips, I watched as she moved with my ministrations. I added another digit and another, commanding her not to come. She nodded and bit down on that lip, moaning and clawing at the sheets.

"Jasper…" she gasped and circled her hips. My cock was so hard. I wanted her, but I wanted her to come first.

"Not yet."

Her porcelain skin shone in the moonlight. She looked gorgeous, laying before me, lost in rapture while I worked her sweet little pussy. She pushed back against the pillows, clamping her eyes shut and begging me to let her come. I knew she was close and I wanted her to fall. She was clenching around my fingers and my body was pleading with me to let her clench around something else.

Not yet.

Her eyes snapped open and she stared at me ferociously. "Jasper…please…"

"No." I moved in close, nipping her ear and letting her grab my shoulder and squeeze tight. "I want you to come on my fingers, Bella. I want lick up everything you have to offer. Do that for me, baby. Come for me."

Her hold tightened and her body froze as she said my name and came for me. She collapsed back, taking me with her. "That's a good girl," I whispered, kissing that spot just below her ear and then nipped my way down to her collarbone.

"Ahh…Jasper," Bella moaned, falling back to the bed with a heady sigh and I followed, making sure she was watching me as I pulled my fingers from her and lick them.

Her chocolate eyes were impossibly black as she eyed my move. She bit that flesh of temptation again and then voiced her need, "I want you."

"How do you want me?"

"I want to do whatever you like." She was placing the ball in my court. I wondered if she knew what she was doing? I had to be sure. "Are you sure about that?"

She sat up and looked at me seriously. "I love all of you. I want you…all of you."

I smiled because I would give her anything. "You've got me, darlin'. All of me." I loved that my girl was willing to be sexually open with me.

"Good," she smiled and pulled me into a kiss that reminded me that my cock was hard and screaming for a release.

I abruptly pulled away from her and saw her eyes darken with lust. She loved the roughness. Good.

"What do you want to do?" she asked and I was cheering internally at the vixen lying in front of me asking that question with her legs spread wide, with me between her thighs. She was no longer the timid girl that came here last December. That girl was gone, and in her place, was a magnificent woman who I was madly in love with.

I wanted to say things to her that will awaken the monster in me, because even he was in agreement that Bella was it for us. I pushed her back down and straddled her. I stared at her, long and hard; watching her tits move up and down with each breath she took.

"What I want is to taste you, darlin'," I told her while she panted, "I want to lick and suck your pussy until you're coming on my tongue. Nothing will ever taste as good as you, will it, baby?"

She smiled and cocked a brow at me. She liked this. She was comfortable with me being like this, and I was happy.

"No, just like how I know that nothing will taste as good as you," she said and I nearly come right then and there.

My lips crashed on hers. But Bella had other ideas. She pushed me away and jumped up. I laid back in amusement and lust with my hands behind my head and let her straddle me with a naughty smirk. She licked her lips and my dick jumped against her. She giggled and took my hard cock in hand, rising up a little and using my length to circle her wet core with her eyes closed. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever saw. I was the luckiest fucker on the planet.

"You feel so good."

I moaned at her words and she opened her eyes, letting go of me while smiling coyly and moving away. But I didn't dare move, because Bella had more planned.

She crawled further down my body, settling on my legs and taking my cock in hand again, pumping it. My eyes closed at their violation until I felt her warm little mouth enveloping my dick.

"Oh fuck!" she giggled and then moaned, sending vibrations straight to my balls. My hands quickly moved from behind my head to her. I gripped her hair, guiding her movements. Her head bobbed up and down my length and I was lost to the world around me; all that mattered was Bella's mouth on me.

"Baby…ugh…" she moaned around me, making my balls tighten. "Bella…ugh…" Her mouth was heaven. "Yes, baby, just like that," I moaned out incoherently. "Suck me…uhh!" I kept a good grip on her, moving her hair out of the way so I could see her mouth devour my cock.

But Bella had more in store and I nearly had a heart attack when she deep throated me. "Uh fuck, Bella!"

She reached for my free hand, grasping it. And I moaned when she stilled and allowed me to fuck her mouth. This woman beyond words. I knew I should be more concerned if I was hurting her, but it felt so damn good and Bella was moaning wantonly around me. It was too much. Between Bella's moans, the sight of my cock being swallowed by her and then she fucking winked at me, I was gone. And I came down her throat.

I collapsed against my bed in exhaustion, shock and excitement. Bella licked me clean and I was on cloud nine. This was unreal. I wasn't this lucky. Bella was something out of my deepest dreams.

"You're a dream," I said breathlessly.

"You're my fantasy," she said from her place with her head on my thigh.

I ran a hand through her hair and she glanced up at me with a lazy grin. "You did that." It was statement of amazement. I wanted things but I just didn't voice them because I was afraid Bella would never go for it. There were dark places that James took her while he entrapped her in that horrid life and I didn't want to do anything to fuck up her progress.

She smiled shyly and blushed. "You liked it?"

I had to laugh. "I loved it."

She sat up and sighed. Aside from our lack of clothing, I didn't feel desire when I looked at her now. I mean, I did and I always would but Bella looked like she wanted to say something.

"I didn't want to do things like that with you; suck your dick and have you think about why I was good or bad at it."

"You didn't want me to judge you."

"No," she whispered.

"I don't."

"Please, don't just say that."

I sat up with her; running my hands up and down her shoulders. "I'm not lying, Bella." She was looking deep into my eyes; searching for my doubt. But I meant every word. "They're things I want us to do, but I've been beating the thought because I wasn't sure you'd be comfortable with it."

That naughty smirk was back on her face. "Things like what I just did." She crawled closer and I wrapped her in my arms.

"Exactly like what you just did."

We laughed and fell back on the bed in each other's arms.

It was nice to be alone. It was nice to have her to myself. It was amazing to wake up and make love to her; to use my body to show her how much I loved her. To watch her give herself over to the passion between us.

We laid there, catching our breath afterward and staring up at the ceiling. "I loved that. I love being this close to you," she said, ending the silence.

"I love it too. I wish it was something we could do often."

"We'll find the time."

We fell asleep again. This time I dreamed of her; my beautiful girl out in a meadow in the midst of blossoming flowers. I was sitting on a bench, looking on as she danced around; the sunlight making her luminescent.

"She was always so beautiful," he said and I turned to see the guy from the pictures. He smiled at me and then looked back out at Bella. His eyes happy as he watched her.

"You're Garrett."

"You're kinda stating the obvious, Jasper."

"I know," I chuckled and turned my attention to Bella, noticing that she wasn't alone anymore. A little girl was with her and they were spinning and laughing while they played amidst the flowers.

I didn't look at him when I said it, but I felt like it needed to be said. "You loved her, didn't you?"

"More than anything," he said. "And yes, it is hard to see her with you, but hey, what can I do? So I focus on watching over her, and she's happy, Jasper."

"And that's enough for you?"

"Yes. You're everything to her. She loves you more than anything she's ever known before," he explained, "and that makes me happy. I showed her the way it was supposed to be, Jasper. Finish the job and don't let that beast win."

"James?"

He nodded. "Neither of them. Stay alive…for her," he paused and looked out at Bella and the little girl and then he turned back to me and nodded in their direction. "For them."

I looked at him in shock and inquiry. "What do you mean 'them'?"

Garrett chuckled and stared out at Bella and the little girl. "You two will have your hands full. Just love her, Jasper. It's all Bella will ever need. Just love her."

"Love me…"

Someone was on top of me. _Bella._ God, she felt so good. I glided my hands up her thighs while she rode me to guide her movements.

Opening my eyes to her, I smiled at the sight of my beautiful girl on top of me, her hands digging into my shoulders while she sought her high. "Love me…"

"I do," I whispered as she sped up.

"I'm there!"

I was too. And sat up, wrapped her tight in my arms and whispering in her ear while thrusting up into her. "Then fly with me, darlin'."

We fell over the edge, moaning one another's name. "I love you," I whispered while Bella shook in my arms.

"I love you too," she uttered back before bursting into tears and I held her as she cried.

**~~abt~~**

Daybreak brought out another round of hunger in us. We couldn't get enough of each other. The need was unimaginable. We had to have one another. It was all we wanted right now. We had slept and then made love. We had worshipped each other's body with our hands and mouths. We had hungered and sated it.

But still…we wanted more.

I was enveloped in Bella's depths. Her wet folds encompassed me as she rode me, rocking her hips in time with my guidance.

"Jasper," she moaned, her hands moving from my chest to her hair which she gripped the roots of and rocked against me.

"Bella…"

She opened her eyes and looked down at me with a smile. "A great to welcome daybreak?" she smirked.

"The best ever."

She laughed, and I took the opportunity to switch positions; throwing down her laughing body and quickly sheathed myself into her. It started off slow, but then it grew harder and faster. I hovered over her. My hands braced on either side of her head. We panted, moaned, groaned and fucked. Bella pulled me down on top of her, clawing at my back and I had her thigh in a vice grip pushing up to her chest as my cock dipped deeper.

"Oooh! Jasper!"

But it wasn't enough, I wanted more.

I stopped and pulled out. Bella looked at me; her eyes hooded but filled with questions that I couldn't address verbally. Instead, I pulled her up and spun her around, moving behind her. I bend her over, pushing her down on her forearms roughly and grabbing her hips. I thrust into her, loving the loud moan that left her. My cock felt so deep.

I fucked her. I loved this position. She was grunting and yelling in wild abandon. I was groaning and telling her how good she felt this way.

"You're tight, baby. So tight," I moaned. "That's it. Take my cock."

Her moans were my undoing. It flooded my mind and sent me in frenzy. I yanked her up by her hair. She groaned and turned her head. For a split second, I thought she was going to whisper for me to stop but she just kissed me roughly, biting my lips.

Fuck, I loved this woman. And we didn't stop until our orgasms shook the very core of us until we couldn't see straight and fell on the bed in a heap of tired limps.

I couldn't explain what we'd just experienced and Bella said I shouldn't try to. We just laid there, wrapped up in each other. My head was resting on her chest; it was my favorite place to be. I was listening to Bella's heart while her hand ran through my hair. I loved this. It was relaxing.

What I felt for this woman was deep, intense, and nothing short of spectacular. And I had to express it every chance I got because who knew I was this lucky? Bella was everything to me.

Looking up from between her breasts, I smiled at her, "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered back and guided my head back down on her chest and resumed her ministrations. I closed my eyes in contentment and welcomed the sleep that took me.


	36. Soon

_**AN: Bella talks to Sam and Vicky is upset with James. **_

_**Thank you abbymickey24 for making this incredible.**_

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><p><strong>THIS IS A RE-POST. HAD TO PUT IN A MISSING CHAPTER AND IT MADE THINGS JUMP A CHAP AHEAD. NEW CHAP COMING UP SOON. THNX!<strong>

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Thirty-five: Soon<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Bella, February, 2011… <strong>_

His soft kisses trailed up my spine while his teasing hand followed. It felt ticklish, but I smiled against the pillow and stayed still. His lips moved up to my neck where he swept my hair aside to lay soft kisses there. His hand slowly moved down my body and over the curve of my ass, grasping it and then smacking it.

"Ow!"

He chuckled deeply and gently bit the shell of my ear. "Wake up, darlin'."

I spun around to face him, watching his stormy eyes dance with mischief while he massaged the spot on my ass he had just smacked. "I'm awake."

"And half the day's gone."

I slammed my head back down into the pillows with a pout, not wanting to get up. I wanted to stay here, locked away in the haven of his bedroom with him and give the outside world a break.

"I don't want to."

"I don't want to either," Jasper said, laying kisses between my shoulders, "but we have to. Besides, I love looking into your pretty eyes way too much to stand them being closed to me any longer."

I smiled at his words and peeked at the clock. That was the time? Jasper wasn't serious. Not after last night? "Jasper, it's six in the morning."

"Mmhmm and half the day's gone," he moaned into my ear.

"No, it's just starting, and I really don't want to go anywhere," I whispered softly as his hand moved down my body.

It hadn't escaped my attention that Jasper was already dressed. His jeans, t-shirt and boots ensemble told me that he was ready to head out on the ranch. But I didn't want us to. I wanted us to stay here.

"Bella, there's nothing more I'd love do than stay here, but…" I jumped up and pulled him into a kiss, silencing whatever else he was going to say.

He broke the kiss with a laugh. "You're not playing fair."

I pulled him back down on top of me, fully aligning his hard body with mine. "Never said I was," I smiled, "now shut up and kiss me."

He obeyed my command and from then on, no words were exchanged between us as I slid my hand under his shirt to feel his hard muscles flex against my fingertips while our lips met urgently. To have him this close was heavenly. We kissed until our need for each other became unbearable, and together, we vigorously stripped off his clothes amidst his laughter and my impatience.

I sighed in satisfaction when he finally settled on top of me and pushed inside of me because there was no better place to be than in his arms.

"I love you," he sighed reverently as he rocked against me.

"I love you, too," I vowed, pulling him down into a kiss.

Despite my objections of spending the morning outside of the haven that was Jasper's bedroom, I couldn't deny the beauty of it.

After my shower, I changed and grabbed a cup of tea before heading outside to find the sun taking its place in the sky with promises of what would be a warm day. I found Jasper waiting by the stables with Thunder and Mystery on either side of him.

"Mornin' again, darlin'," he smiled when I walked up to him and took Mystery's reins, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"I still say we could be in bed right now."

"What a woman," he sighed in jest, "all she wants to do is ravish me."

I shook my head at him and climbed up on my horse while he laughed at his own joke. "I'll never get tired of ravishing you." I said, grinning down at him.

He paused and eyed me with nothing but pure unadulterated desire; his eyes darkening considerably at my statement. I chuckled at him and clicked my tongue to get Mystery moving, leaving him to think about that.

Everyone was pitching in this morning, even Maria and Rose were out here. They called me over and we stayed together, chatting while we watched the grazing animals. Jasper was with the Sam and the other ranch hands.

Maria and Rose kept the conversation light and fun. We talked about Rose's upcoming wedding; which she wanted me to attend and mine and Jasper's disappearing act at the Fair.

"Soo…" Rose probed.

"So?"

"What happened?"

"I don't think I should hear Bella's answer to this," Maria chimed in.

"Oh come on, mom," Rose scolded. "I know what you and Dad were doing when we went to stay with our other aunts and uncles."

Maria shook her head in disbelief at her daughter's bluntness and smiled. Rose turned her attention back to me, demanding to know what happened.

"We came back here," I said, stupidly hoping she would be satisfied with that.

"And?" Rose pushed, wanting the rest of it. "What happened?" The teasing tone of her voice made me blush and that was all the affirmation Rose needed. "Oh! You didn't."

_Why bother?_ "We did." I glanced at her smiling face out of the corner of my eye. "All night."

"And I didn't need to know that," Maria said.

"Mom!" Rose chided and turned back to me. "Bella, Bella, you naughty girl."

"I love him, Rose," I told her while staring out at Jasper across the field from us.

She sighed and followed my line of sight over to Jasper, who was talking and laughing with Sam and the other guys.

"I didn't think there was someone like him out there. Much less, that he existed and he would love me." Rose smiled at me and I went on, "Rose, I never thought that I'd have a chance to be free, happy, and in love."

"I never thought Jas would stop punishing himself for his past mistakes," she shared. "I thought he was happy with Alice. I didn't realize until it was too late that he was forcing himself to be. Bella, I'm glad they're over. With you, he doesn't have to try. He's just in love."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't, because her words had moved me to tears.

"Why are you crying?" she asked with concern.

"Happy tears."

When my tears had dried, we moved onto other topics. Maria couldn't wait for the wedding to get here, wanting nothing more than to see Rose walk down the aisle. Rose turned the argument back to sex when Maria drifted to the topic of Alice's involvement in the wedding.

"Oh mom, she's only doing it to impress Jasper," Rose told us. "She thinks he's just messing around and punishing her for cheating on him."

"Well, we know the truth about that," Maria smiled triumphantly.

Rose smirked at me. "Yes, we do and I know for sure that my brother has moved on. He's happy. And Bella will be around so they'll be able to sneak off somewhere to fuck."

"My daughter just said, 'fuck' to me," Maria noted while I tried to hide my laughter.

"Mom!"

It continued like that until we parted ways.

After chores, I went home, checked the pantry and the cupboards before deciding to go shopping. Jasper found me in the garage after I made my list and told me that Sam was heading to town with me. I asked him why, and he begged me to trust him with a promise that he would explain later.

I agreed, although I didn't quite understand.

Sam met me outside of the garage. I opened my car door for him, and he eased his six foot frame into the passenger side.

"Hi, Bella."

"Hi, Sam."

Our drive was filled with silence. Sam wasn't a very talkative person and neither was I. Instead of filling the air with meaningless chatter, we watched each other. I had never really taken the time to look at him but Sam was very handsome. He had a rugged quality to him, with tanned skin and a hard body; probably from years of hard work on the ranch. Although it wasn't his only portfolio around here. Sam also protected Jasper. He was his bodyguard and had been so since Jasper's kidnapping.

I pulled into the parking lot of the megastore and got out. Sam followed. He walked me inside the store and grabbed a cart, pushing it. I trailed behind him as he wandered down aisle but this was bugging me.

"Why are you here?"

He stopped and turned to me; looking at me for a second before responding, "I thought you were humoring Jasper."

"Yes, I am, but…"

"Then humor me and pretend I'm not here to protect you," he smiled knowingly. "What aisle are we going to? Do you have a list? I don't want to wander around aimlessly."

"You can't just ask me for a list after you said that." What was Jasper worried about? "You can't just pretend we're here to shop."

He scoffed. "Yes, I can. And I also assume that you're smart enough to you know that something is wrong. That's why I'm here."

My mind only came up with one possibility. "Is it James?"

"List, please," Sam said with his hand held out. "We're beginning to look a little funny just standing with a cart and nothing in it."

I fumbled through my pocket and produced the list I had made. Sam took it, surveyed it and walked off with me trailing behind him.

"You didn't answer me. Is it James?"

He dropped a few items in the cart. "I assume so."

"Then why aren't you with Jasper?" I asked anxiously. "You're supposed to protect him!"

"I protect who he says to protect, and he's not going to leave the ranch today," he replied calmly with his back to me. "He won't go anywhere without me watching his back."

That thought was comforting; even if I didn't like the thought of Jasper there without Sam to protect him. But that was home. He was safe until Sam and I went back.

Sam and I continued through the aisles. He pointed out things I had written down and I grabbed them hastily and throwing them in the cart. I felt nervous and angry.

"Try and stay calm, Bella."

I stopped and looked at him long and hard. "How can I, Sam? I've got a psycho husband on my ass! He wants to punish me and if he gets his hands on Jasper, I'll lose another person who dared to love me! Don't fucking tell me to be calm!"

I stormed off feeling like an ass. I shouldn't be taking my frustrations out on him. Sam was here to protect me. But I couldn't help being angry.

Why couldn't James forget about me? Why couldn't he find another person to terrorize?

But then again, I wouldn't wish that man on another innocent girl. I couldn't stand the thought of someone going through what I went through with him.

Why couldn't he just stick to Vicky? She was as nuts as he was.

"Coming up with solutions?" Sam's voice made me jump and I turned to him.

"Not really."

I gave him a small smile and he returned it before pointing to the fridges and asking, "Mind if I grab a few things too? I've been dying for some chocolate chip ice cream."

I actually laughed and he joined in. "Good. It's nice to see you smiling again, but I'm serious about the ice cream."

We finished our shopping together with Sam grabbing a few things for himself. We picked up some takeout and had a slow drive back to the ranch. The drive back wasn't as quiet and I ended up learning a lot about him.

He was a runaway that Jasper's dad had taken in. He had worked on the ranch to pay back Jasper's dad in his own way. When Jasper got kidnapped, he was involved in the search, since he was a good tracker. He could find a needle in a haystack. And between him and Mr. Whitlock, they'd found Ricky. He didn't continue after that since I knew the rest of that story.

Once home, Sam helped me put the groceries away. Jasper wasn't there so Sam and I continued to talk. I learned about his wife, Emily. She was a caterer, who worked for the Whitlocks on occasion. She mostly worked out of Houston. They were married very young. She was a local girl and Sam said that the day he met her, he knew. There was no other woman for him. Their love was beautiful.

Sam went on to express that he knew about my history with James and he was here for me.

"So, you're a friend?"

"Yes, and that's good for you, but bad for James," he smiled with an intense, unnerving look in his eye that sent a shiver ran up my spine.

"You're dangerous, aren't you?"

Sam chuckled. "Only when I need to be. And as for your soon-to-be ex…"

I laughed interrupting him, "My soon-to-be ex?"

He nodded, "If he touches you, he's dead."

There was no need for Sam to elaborate. I understood perfectly. James could make it here and even try to take me, but he wouldn't get far. He wouldn't leave here alive.

He got up the breakfast bar, rounded me and headed toward the side door. I knew he was on his way to tell Jasper we're back. But I had to know.

"Should I be afraid of you?" I whispered. Sam paused at the half opened door.

"No," he answered and everything in me believed him. "You have nothing to fear from me, Bella. Like I said, I'm only dangerous when I need to be."

Sam left me after that and I busied myself with laundry, cooking and reading. I was going out of my mind with worry but I didn't call Jasper. I didn't go over there and demand that he tell me what was happening. A part of me wanted to, but I ignored it. And Jasper didn't make an appearance until later that evening and he was no mood to talk. Dinner was riddled with nothing but tense silence. He was furious.

Despite the questions bubbling inside of me, I gave Jasper his space; he looked like he needed it. I busied myself with cleaning up after us and he retreated to his office without a word or a kiss.

I blamed myself. I was sure he wasn't like this before I came along with my problems.

After doing the dishes, I went back to my book, picking up where I left off and immersed myself into the words.

His heavy footsteps sounded even against the carpeted floor as he walked up and plopped down on the couch next to me, leaning his head on my shoulder. I didn't look away from the pages of my book as I took his hand in mine, playing with his fingers.

"There are other ways to read, you know," he said offhandedly.

"I know, but I love paperback," I sighed and let go of his fingers long enough to turn the page. "There's something magical about them to me."

"What does it do?" Jasper whispered and I peeked at him to find him staring intently at me.

Holding his gaze, I said, "It transcends me. It brings me peace. There's nothing like getting lost in a story."

"I'm sorry," he said sadly, gripping my hand.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I told him. "I should be the one saying sorry. I'm the one who brought this bullshit in your life." I let go of him, closed my book, and got up.

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

I laughed at him. "Are you crazy, Jasper?" My anger was suddenly rising with impeccable speed. "I caused this! I brought James into your life! I have you running around, setting up security detail all because I was too stupid to tell my mother to go fuck herself! I should have run! After Garrett died, I should have run! I shouldn't have stayed. This is happening because of me!" It was the hard truth and it was time I accepted it. I was only hurting the people I loved.

Stomping off, I put some distance between us and then turned to him with a ferocious glare. "Fuck this."

"What do you mean?" he said deadly. He moved to the edge of the couch, his elbows leaning on his knees while he glared at me. If I wasn't so angry, his glare would have scared me.

"I mean, I'll go! I can't stand it! I can't be happy with you. I can't be in love with you. Don't you see?! I'll never be happy and I can't do this to you…not anymore."

I ran out of steam there and thought Jasper would see the light and just end things. Just send me away and let James find me. I was ready to give up. I couldn't stand it.

Jasper had to understand. But he didn't. And the only I had done was further piss him off.

He got off of the couch so fast I almost didn't see him move. He was towering over me in about a half a second. I was afraid. This was the guy I had met when I first came here. "Are you fucking crazy? You really think I would let you walk away? What is wrong with you? You're actually considering running so that fucker can find you?!"

I jumped at his tone but he didn't back off. "I'm busting my ass to keep you safe because I'm so in love it fucking hurts be away from you for even a second, but it's so goddamn easy for you to want to walk?!"

Wait a minute. I wasn't going to take this. I refused to feel bad about it. I was expressing myself. My goddamn therapy was all about expressing and finally fucking feeling something besides fear.

"Fuck you!" I screamed, getting into Jasper's face. "You think that was easy to say?!" he moved to answer and I screamed again, "Shut the fuck up!" He was breathing heavily; his eyes were blazing but he stayed quiet. "That was the hardest thing I ever had to do! To lie like that. Walk?! You think I want to?! I'm in love with you, you asshole! I see you and I see my future. Do you know how fucking scary that is?! To run away from one man only to fall so deep in love with another that you can't think about anything but him?! You think it's easy? Knowing what James will do when he gets his hands on me? Knowing what he will do if he gets his hands on you?!"

He stepped away, his eyes filling up with tears. He backed up until his feet hit the couch and he plopped down on the arm of it. He looked defeated.

I went over to him. "You don't have to tell me what happened. I know what happened. James came here when we were at the fair and he saw me. I know because I'm so afraid of that bastard, I can tell when he's near. It's this chill. I always feel this cold, evil chill creeping up my spine. When I felt that at the Fair, I freaked because I knew it. In the depths of me, I knew James was here." I palmed his cheeks and forced him to look up at me. "Jasper, things would've been so much easier for you if after Alice, you'd picked another girl." His angry eyes darkened and tears spilled from them but he said nothing as I cried, "It's not too late. You can walk away. I'll never be able to thank you for all you've done; for loving me, but it's not too late."

"Bella..." he said, pained. But I didn't let him go on.

"I'll always be in love with you, Jasper. I wish I had met you first. It's impossible to change the past. But I really wish I had met you first."

I didn't wait for him to say anything. I turned and ran upstairs.

An hour later, Jasper came into my room. And I silently thanked him for giving me that time to myself. I was wrapped around my pillow and crying my eyes out.

He walked over to the bed, but didn't sit down. He stood at the foot of it and said in a soft, pained voice, "I'm sorry I shouted at you." His apology made me cry harder. "Please don't cry. I don't want you to be sad. I'm sorry I kept that information from you. I just found out today, and thought that you didn't need to worry about James." I tried to catch my breath amidst my tears as he went on, "I wanted you to have a good day. The last few days have been nothing short of amazing, and I just wanted…I was angry that he was here, right under our nose, and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't get my hands on the bastard. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"I should just go back."

Jasper's sharp intake made me turn and look at him; his eyes heavy and glistening with tears. "No, Bella. He'll kill you. You'll die this time."

I turned away. "Maybe it's for the best. Where I'd go, he couldn't hurt me anymore. He couldn't ruin lives because of me."

"What about me, Bella?" His voice was laced with hurt. And when I wouldn't look at him, he stepped closer and pulled me up to face him. His grip on me was tight, but his questions were harder. I sobbed because of them. "What about me? You're just going to walk into my life, let me fall for you, and then go and get yourself killed? You'd kill me. You're just going to leave me here to die alone? I wouldn't want anybody else, Bella. I'd only ever want you."

I shook my head. "No, you'd have your family. You can move on. I meant what I said downstairs. You can stop. I'll always love you, but I don't want to be a burden anymore."

The fury was back in his eyes. He looked at me with such pain, I cried harder. And when he hastily let me go like I had slapped him and spun around, stormed out of my room, slamming the door behind him, I dissolved into tears until I couldn't breathe.

I was wrong. I shouldn't have said that. Why was I pushing him away? I got up and tried to go to the door but collapsed on the floor in tears instead.

Lying there, I cried for everything that was ever taken from me. My soul, my love, my heart, Garrett, and now, I was pushing Jasper away because I saw no other way. I laid there and bawled.

I didn't know he came back into his arms until his strong arms wrapped around me, and I held on to him, whispering apologies as he lifted me off the ground.

His lips brushed mine and I held his face to me, wanting more, craving his closeness. "I'm so sorry," I uttered quickly before pulling him back to my lips. He set me on my feet and cried against my mouth while gripping my sides, holding me to him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, moving away long enough to pull his shirt over his head. I ran my hand up his chest and he sighed, closing his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said softly, kissing his taut stomach. He pulled me to his lips and I relished in his roughness. We needed this.

He ran his tongue along my bottom lip, seeking entrance to my mouth and I granted it, only moving away long enough to let him pull my shirt and bra off. Jasper pulled me in, moaning into our heated kiss as he twisted and pinched my nipples. I moaned into his mouth at the exquisite feel of it while he used his tongue to play mine like his own personal instrument.

I would never get tired of kissing Jasper. How the hell was I supposed to walk away from him? He was everything. I was dumb to think that I could.

He bathed my body in soft kisses as he stripped me. He laid me down and fed on me like I was his last feast. I came screaming his name as he licked everything I had to give. I sighed in completion when he pushed into me. The feel of his bare flesh delving into my depths made me see stars.

"Jasper…" His name was a mantra on my lips and when we found our end together, it was with a shout of our love for each other.

We laid there without words for felt like hours exchanging soft meaningful kisses until he needed me again and I obliged.

This time wasn't so tender and sweet. He had a hunger to fill and a need to claim me. He pounded into me from behind with a tight grip on my hips while I shouted in pleasure. I was as hungry for this as he was. I wanted to feel him fill me. I needed to know that I belonged to him and no one else. And Jasper needed the same. He pulled me back to him by my hair, holding me to him, whispering harshly while his cock drove into me. "Say you're mine."

"I'm yours!"

"Say you're mine!"

His cock swelled inside of me, making me tremble with my impending orgasm as he fucked me. "I'm yours!" His powerful thrusts were driving me over the edge. I could feel myself clenching around him. "God! Jasper, I'm yours!" I was gone. I was lost. He filled me like no other man ever had.

"You'll always be mine, Bella!" he groaned into my ear; pulling out and then slamming back into me with such force, I screamed while he thrust into me hard and deep. "No one will ever fuck you like this! You're mine!"

He was there. I could feel him coming and it triggered my own orgasm making me shout in ecstasy, "Jasper, I'm yours!" milking his cock while he held me tight. We rode out our orgasms until we couldn't move and collapsed on the bed in a tangled web of tired limbs.

Not long after Jasper got up and disappeared from the room. I was drifting in and out of sleep when he was here, but once he got up, I was wide awake. He wasn't gone for long though and came back, lifting me into his arms.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he carried me out of my room.

"Savoring the moment. We need this."

He brought me to his room, bypassing the bed and heading straight for the bathroom. He had run a bath for us. He placed me in the soothing warm water and got in behind me, pulling me back to him. My mind was at ease while relaxing in his arms. All the craziness from earlier was gone. All I wanted to do was stay in Jasper's arms forever. The thought of leaving him for his own good was slowly becoming a distant memory.

"I'm sorry for what I said about leaving," I told him. "I hope you know that I didn't mean a word of it."

"I know, but just so you know, I had no intention of letting you go alone. I would hunt you down and we'd hide together forever."

"You wouldn't have let me go?"

"I packed that bag for you, not because of Esme's suggestion but because I expected a day when you would get scared and reconsider staying," he explained. "But I wouldn't have let you go alone."

"I think Esme anticipated this," I laughed humorlessly. "She knew I would get scared and want to run. And she knew you wouldn't let me go alone."

"She's smart," he chuckled and then we fell back into silence.

We bathed each other, exchanging gentle caresses and tender kisses until the water ran cold, and we got out. We dried off and then Jasper took my hand and led me to the bedroom. We climbed into bed, naked, happy and in love. He pulled me into his side and wrapped the thick sheets around us. I kissed his chest and he hummed in contentment. After a moment, he asked, "How were things with Sam, he didn't scare you, did he?"

"I think I've gained a friend."

"That's good. He's family."

"He'll kill James if he gets his hands on him," I said matter-of-factly.

"I know," Jasper whispered back.

"Then I shouldn't be afraid to stay."

"No, you shouldn't."

I fell asleep peacefully but woke up in terror with Jasper sitting up in front of me, running his hands up and down my arms and telling me to breathe, I was safe, and everything would be alright.

"I was dreaming about him hurting you." The tears ran down my face as I struggled to catch my breath.

Jasper kept rubbing my arms and willing me to relax. "He can't touch me."

"Jasper…" I cried.

He laid back down and pulled me into his arms. "I won't let him hurt you, darlin'."

I cried harder into his chest; the heavy sobs wracked my body. "He knows where I am, Jasper. He knows where I am."

_**James, February, 2011…**_

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Vicky screeched, towering over me with a hand on her hip and staring down at me.

I didn't like it. She was lucky that the drugs in my system were keeping me calm or else I would have snapped her neck by now.

"How can you go to some hick town, see the bitch, and not grab her?! Are you fucked in the head, James?"

Her annoying shriek of a voice was getting on my nerves! But I had to remain calm so I sat there, smiling up at her because her time was drawing to a close. Soon, it would be me and Marie.

Of course, that would be after I killed that asshole, Whitlock, for taking her from me. I was going to use his death to teach Marie a valuable lesson for crossing me. And then we would be together forever. Nothing will ever tear us apart again.

"Why are you smiling?" Vicky shouted, peering into my eyes. "Oh fuck, you're high!"

I stared at her menacingly. If only she knew what I was thinking.

"And don't look at me like that," Vicky sneered, "I know you want to rip my throat out, but you need me, James. I can get to the bitch faster than you. It's obvious she's fucking Alice's man, so we find a way to lure them away from all the damn guards, kill him and take Bella!"

I fucking hated that name. "Don't call her that!"

Vicky chuckled, "Oh shut the fuck up, James. It's her name. I kinda like it. It sounds better than Marie. Think about it this way, Marie is your pet, but Bella, she's the bitch that ran away."

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. "You need to shut up," I seethed.

"Or you'll do what?" Vicky challenged with a laugh. She thought I was joking. I'll show her who's joking.

Springing up, I backhanded her.

She snapped back up, staring at me in shock. "You think this is Bella you're dealing with?"

She moved to hit me back, but I punched her and then grabbed her throat, pushing her over to the glassed wall and slammed her back into it. She was gasping for air as I squeezed her neck; cutting off her air supply. "You think you're special, Vicky?" She looked furious. I knew she was dying to answer me. "It's not time yet."

I was frustrated and in need of a release. All this talk about Marie made me horny. "Get on your knees." I didn't wait. I pushed her down as I undid my jeans and held her mouth open. "Don't you dare bite me or I'll give you a taste of one of the lessons Marie will learn when she gets home." I said as I pushed my dick into her mouth.

Vicky's eyes widened in surprise, but she obeyed and sucked my cock until I was coming down her throat. I pulled away even more ticked off than when we had started. Something was missing.

I wanted Marie. She would have been far better.

It was funny how in her absence, I really got to see that the sex with Vicky wasn't as good without Marie around. She was the star of the show with her silly little pleas and whimpering.

I actually missed it.

Vicky was coughing and choking while picking herself up. I didn't feel anything for her anymore. Life wasn't complete without my perfect little pet around. Marie has to come home. I would have to re-train her. There were so many lessons to go over. I couldn't wait to kill Whitlock for taking her away. She should be here…serving me!

"Get your hairstylist over here to wash this shit out of my hair!" I ordered Vicky without an ounce of sympathy.

_Soon, Marie, we'll be together again, soon. _

_**Bella, February, 2011…**_

"You know, we can cancel," Jasper said for the thousandth time as I smiled and zipped up his bag.

"No."

He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "We can spend Valentine's day here," he suggested. "How about a naked Valentine's?"

"Is sex all you think about?" I smirked at him over my shoulder and asked.

He appeared thoughtful for a second before nodding yes. I smacked his arm and moved away from him. "I don't want to miss your surprise."

"I thought you didn't like surprises," he arched an eyebrow at me challengingly.

"I'm forgetting about that rule."

"Forever?" he asked expectantly.

"No. Until your surprise," I sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I want to think about something besides James."

"Well," he said seriously. "This trip will help. After the meeting, you'll have me all to yourself."

He came over to me, dropping down to eye level with his hands on either side of me. He moved to kiss me and I asked quickly, "Any chance you'll tell me what you're planning?"

He smiled coyly and brushed his lips against mine. "Not a chance."

I pulled him down on top of me, kissing his cheeks, his neck… "What about persuasion?"

He grinded against me, letting me feel the semi hard erection he was sporting. "I can definitely be persuaded."

"Mmm…" Our lips were inches apart when Tanya screamed my name making me curse under my breath.

"Bella! Get out of there now! Come and get dressed! And no, 'come' did not mean what you two want it to! Get in your bedroom now, woman!"

"Fuck off!" Jasper screamed, making me giggle.

"I have to go."

He dropped his head to my shoulder with a groan. "She's a fucking cockblocker."

"Come on, get up…" I pushed against him, and he pushed back. I moaned and he pulled me into a kiss. "Jasper, I have to go. She'll come in here. Uhh." He grinded his hips into mine and I was about to take him up on his offer to forget about Houston and stay here for a naked Valentine's when Tanya pounded on the door and screamed at us again.

Jasper pushed off and threw himself down on the bed. He was taking deep breaths and his eyes were closed. "You should go before I change my mind."

I kissed his cheek and whispered, "We'll pick this up another time." Jasper groaned and palmed his crotch.

I laughed and left the room.

"Bella!"

I was going to kill Tanya. "I'm coming!"

She laughed loudly. God, was her mind always in the gutter?

About twenty minutes later, I was dressed and Tanya and I were walking down the stairs together. I hugged Sue goodbye. She would be in charge of things until Maria got back. I could feel Jasper's eyes on me but purposely ignored him. Tanya was right about the dress. She said it would have that effect.

It was a chic floral mini dress that I paired with my black boots and black jacket. I left my hair down and curled it at the end before fighting with Tanya to keep my makeup simple.

I moved toward the door, wanting to head out to the town cars, but Jasper pulled me back. "I need to discuss something with you in private."

"Okay," I laughed curiously.

He took me to the kitchen, out of everyone else's view, and just as I was about to ask what he wanted to talk about, he crashed his lips to mine. I returned the kiss with as much fervor, slamming him back into the wall behind him.

When we broke away, it just so he could say, "Once that fucking meeting is over and those greedy bastards accept the no I'm telling their asses, I'm going to find you and fuck you six ways to Sunday for wearing that dress."

"Is that promise?" I asked with a wink; moving away from him.

He wasn't having it. He stalked up to me and pulled me close, his mouth hovering over mine and his hand moving down my side to dip under my dress. I gasped as his fingers found their way into my panties, circling my clit before he dipped one inside, pumping it in and out of me while I held on to him for dear life. "Bella, the only reason we'll leave the bed, is to shower and eat."

I almost fell over when he stepped back and licked the same finger before he held out his other hand for me to take.

If Jasper wasn't holding on to me when we walked outside, I'd have melted to the ground.

I couldn't wait to get to Houston.

Two town cars were moving away as we descended the steps. Jasper leaned in and whispered that Rose and their mom were in the first one and Edward and Tanya were in the second. He might as well have been reading a porn script to me because all I could think about was how was I going to get him naked and on top of me or under me as soon as I possibly could.

He seemed to know what I was thinking about and kept smirking at me while introducing our driver, Matt, to me.

I noticed a black SUV parked behind the town car and the engine was running. It was tinted dark so I couldn't see the driver.

"Who's that?"

"Sam."

I looked back at the SUV and smiled. It made me feel even safer knowing Sam would be with us. We climbed into the car. Matt got in and we were on our way. "Will Sam be staying with us?"

Jasper looked at me like I was crazy. His eyes were definitely asking if I was crazy. "Not unless he wants to see my naked ass."

With a roll of my eyes, I shook my head and laughed. "So you plan on being naked a lot?"

He didn't miss a beat. "Very much so." He started texting when I challenged, "Oh really?" running a hand up his thigh and making him jump.

He stopped and eyed me with a smirk; pinching my leg. I yelped and laughed. "You're in trouble when we get somewhere private."

"I can't wait." I said as he went back to what he was doing.

Jasper's phones rang almost every minute. He was busy and I was bored. I had reading material but getting engrossed in a book was the furthest thing from my mind. This drive was taking too long. I was sure I would enjoy it another time. But not this time around. Right now, all I wanted to do was mess with Jasper.

And noticing him on the phone again was giving me a golden opportunity. He had gotten various calls since sitting here. From Jenks, reporting on James' movement or lack thereof, to Edward talking business to his mom to his uncle Joshua, who was waiting for them in Houston. Jasper was hardly off of the damn thing!

I was going to mess with him.

I waited until he was on a call with Peter. I told Matt I was going to raise the privacy glass between us and he nodded his agreement. Jasper was distracted by Peter going on about business that he wasn't watching me. I scooted closer, running a hand up his thigh. He gasped and mouthed my name with a questioning glare on his face.

I ignored that, leaning in close to kiss his neck. He groaned and Peter asked him something.

"What? It's nothing." I smiled against his neck and kissed it again; this time nibbling on the area a little. He shifted in his seat and I ran a hand up his thigh and palmed his cock.

He moved the phone from his ear in a ragged breath, "Bella, what are you doing?" I bit my lip and didn't answer.

"Bella…" He was trying to sound stern but he was breaking.

He slammed his head back and moved the phone back to his ear. "Yeah. I hear you. Umm, Peter, I can't…" he started but Peter wouldn't listen. He kept talking. "Yeah, Peter, listen. No, I know. Yes, we're driving up there now. Yeah."

With a sigh, I shifted closer to him, stretching a leg up over his.

"Yeah…Peter…yes…fuck…What? No, umm…I'm looking at something."

I wanted to laugh but I couldn't. I would lose my nerve.

With a kiss to his cheek, I continue to stroke him while nipping along his jaw until I got to the shell of his ear and took it between my teeth. His free hand moved up my thigh and under my dress, squeezing my ass. I ignored how it felt and kept focused on my own task.

His breath hitched when I unbuckled his belt. Whatever Peter was talking about, Jasper was struggling to listen and not moan as I dipped my hand inside his pants and freed his hard cock.

I was determined to make him give himself away. Peter was already suspicious, but Jasper was covering, and I had to prove Peter right.

"No, I'm not up to anything funny! Yeah, I'm listening!" he tried when I started to pump him, so I amped things up.

Making sure his eyes were on me, I continued to stroke him while kissing my way down his chest until I got to my destination and kissed the head of his dick before taking a long lick up the underside of his cock to the tip and then sucking on the head…hard.

Jasper gasped and moaned. I could hear Peter screaming at him. "Shit…" Jasper moaned. "No! Jesus, Peter, get off my case!"

I smiled and moved back up to his neck, to kiss, lick and bite him while I pumped his cock. His hand trailed to my moist center. He moved my panties aside and dipped a finger inside of me. He was trying to distract me, but it wasn't going to work. This was my game. And I was going to win.

I pumped him hard, making him lose his focus and stutter. Peter's raised voice made me smile and groan against his neck. His finger felt so good. I grinded into his side, seeking friction and he added another but I was determined to make him come first.

My stomach was tightening. I was too wired and my orgasm wasn't far off. I pulled away to look at him, and his dark, lustful, pleading eyes met mine. He mouthed my name and the phone fell to the floor of the car, forgotten.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next: Long time no see.<strong>_


	37. Meetings and Missed Dinner

_**AN: Bella finds out Jasper bought a penthouse in Tanya's building. And she meets someone from Jasper's past. **_

_**Thanks to abbymickey24 for her awesome edits!**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter thirty six: Meetings and Missed Dinner<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, February, 2011… <strong>_

We arrived in Houston roughly three hours after leaving Henderson. I blushed and thanked Matt who held the door open for me to alight from the car with a grin plastered on his face.

My face heated even more.

Knowing that he had heard what Jasper and I were up to in the back seat was both exciting and embarrassing.

Jasper didn't see a reason to be. He thought that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. We just got caught up in the moment.

In fact, he thanked Matt and grabbed our bags with a shit eating grin on his face. "Jasper, at least try to look less like proud about what we almost did in the backseat," I muttered through my teeth when he came to stand beside me.

Jasper laughed. "Why? I'm not embarrassed. We love each other and we got caught up in the moment."

I looked away from him with small smile. Deep down, I knew he was right. We had nothing to feel embarrassed about. I loved him.

I eyed him with a smirk while he watched me as we stood in front of one of the most beautiful skyscrapers I have ever seen. "So are you admitting defeat?"

He leaned in, his breath fanning my neck, making me shiver and bite my bottom lip. Jasper groaned into my ear. "Bella, unless you want to really be embarrassed because I get us thrown in jail for indecent exposure and whatever other charges we could trump up for having sex in the public's view, stop biting that lip." He kissed my neck and I shivered again. "And no, I'm not admitting to anything."

I turned to him, quirking an eyebrow at him with a hand on my hip. "I won. You're gonna to have a lot of explaining to do when you see Peter." When I say it, his phone rang and he checked it and cut off the call.

"Peter," he grumbled and then kissed my cheek, making me laugh.

I turned my attention back to the building in front of me. The slow screech of tires made me look away to see Sam's SUV pulling up. He got out and smiled and I gave him a small wave which he returned as he hung back, casually leaning up against his truck.

But the building was what interested me. Jasper placed his hand on the small of my back and began to gently push me forward, but I stood my ground. I wasn't moving until he told me why we were here.

"Jasper, what are we doing here?" I gestured to the building.

He smiled down at me before holding both our bags in one hand and taking mine in the other, pulling me to the doors.

"Jasper, seriously, why are we...here?" I asked as I trailed behind him. I looked back briefly and saw Sam casually following us. But the rest of my questions died in my throat the moment we stepped into the lobby. From the marble tiling, to the fabulous chandelier overhead, this place was beauty throughout.

I was speechless for a full minute. Jasper had to stop and snap his fingers in front of my face to make me respond. "I was asking if you liked it," he said with a grin.

I couldn't think of an answer so I asked questions. "Jasper, didn't you say there was a house here in Houston? Why are we here?"

"Because we're home."

My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I took him in; noticing the happy look on his face. "What? What do you mean 'home'?"

He pulled me close while a tall slender man moved from behind the front desk and started to make his way over to us. Jasper kept his hold on me while I eyed the man.

"Bella..." Jasper's whisper made me look at him. He smiled at my expression and I could only imagine what I looked like. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights.

"You didn't..." I shook my head because I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I knew he wasn't lying. I knew he could buy anything in the world. I knew what he was worth because every time I thought about the exact figure I learned of, I felt lightheaded. "You didn't. Jasper, tell me you didn't! I said no more..."

"Expensive gifts," he finished for me with a kiss on my cheek before moving to my ear to whisper huskily, "but I figured that we'd need the privacy. I don't think you'd want my mom or sister seeing us naked. And since I plan on having you naked for most of this trip. I figured this might suit our needs."

"But a penthouse?!" I unintentionally shouted.

The people walking by stopped and stared at us before moving on. I knew I was being loud, but shit, Jasper bought a penthouse!

"Happy Valentine's Day, Bella," he said with a kiss to my cheek.

The shock of it was shaking me to the core. I couldn't believe it. Who was this guy? "It's not here yet," I squeaked out and he laughed heartily.

I need to go lie down somewhere. Thankfully, Jasper was keeping me glued to his side, because I would have fallen over already.

The man cleared his throat and I jumped while Jasper chuckled and turned us to him. He greeted Jasper with a strong handshake and welcomed us both. "Hello again, Mr. Whitlock; your penthouse is ready and I trust you will find everything up to par with your requests. A cleaning service has already been sent up and everything is in place."

"Thank you, Everald," Jasper said while Everald handed him a key. It was obvious they had met before. When did he do this? This man was full of surprises; _expensive _surprises.

"Good day, Miss Swan," Everald said, turning his attention to me with an outstretched hand.

"Hello," I said in surprise, taking his hand in a brief handshake.

Jasper chimed in. "Everald will always be here. You can just call down to the front desk for anything and he'll help in anyway he can."

I looked back at Jasper. "You've met?"

Both men laughed and Everald answered, "Yes, ma'am."

I gave them both a shaky laugh and a small smile. Everald took our bags and led us over to the elevator. I turned to Jasper on our way there because I had to know. "Jasper, how did you do it?"

He kissed my forehead before launching into his explanation. "We can thank Tanya. She lives in this building. I just got the place because I wanted somewhere that belonged to us."

We? That made me glare up at him in shock and stutter, "Wha...we...what do you mean 'we'? As in we both o-o-own it?"

Jasper chuckled. "Yeah, baby. We own it. This is _our_ penthouse."

The ride up to the penthouse was spent with me, Jasper and Everald in an elevator that could fit way more people. Jasper had his arm around me, thankfully holding me up, while he conversed with Everald. Jasper told him to always treat me with respect and to get me whatever I wanted. Everald nodded and replied that he would. But as I noticed Everald, who was at least two inches shorter than Jasper's six foot frame, with dark hair and blue eyes and who also wore an affectionate smile on his face, Jasper's words danced around in my head.

"Jasper, please tell me you're joking."

He let out a hearty laugh and Everald chuckled. "No, I'm not, baby. I bought a penthouse for the both of us."

"You're not real," I whispered as he came close while Everald turned away from us; giving us some privacy. "You'll never stop amazing me."

"I'm very real, and I love you," Jasper said, pulling me to his lips for a kiss that I gladly accept.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. We exited the elevator and the first thing I noticed was that there were only four doors on the floor. Jasper walked to the one facing the elevator and put the key in, unlocking it. My stomach did somersaults when I thought about the trouble he must have gone through to do this.

When he opened the doors to the penthouse and we walked inside, I almost dropped. The entrance alone was exquisite. Jasper took my hand and led me further inside while Everald followed. He placed our bags in the foyer and asked if that would be all.

Jasper took his jacket off, throwing it over a chair while I marveled at the beautiful space in front of me.

"Yes, Everald. That'll be all. Thank you." I heard Jasper say, before the doors closed and I felt his arms around me. I leaned into him for support. This was too much. How much more could I take? How incredible was this man?

"So...what do you think?"

I suddenly turned in his arms and jumped on him in excitement. He caught me with a laugh. "I think it's fucking amazing!"

"It really is," he nodded with a kiss on my lips.

"Tanya knew, didn't she?" I asked as he walked us into the living room; his footsteps soft on the lush carpet.

"She hated keeping it from you."

"But how? I saw you. When did you do it?"

"It wasn't easy...but through Tanya," he said, settling me on the plush white leather couch facing the massive plasma television on the wall. He kissed me gently, and then continued, "She planned everything and had the entire place done to my standards. We both met with Everald after a quick drive up here."

"So she wasn't just excited about her place alone then, was she?" He shook his head 'no'. "Okay, this is crazy, and I'm warning you again, if you don't want to send me running for the hills…"

"I'll try to behave," he promised with a grin that said he would be doing something along these lines in the future. But it quickly changed into a look of concern when he asked, "Bella, are you happy?"

I sighed, wanting to kick myself for causing concern. "Yes. I know I freaked out on you and said dumb things like running back to James, and I'm so sorry for hurting you. Please forgive me."

"I'll forgive you if you forgive me."

"I do. And to answer your question..." I got up and walked over to the glassed wall that overlooked the city. Jasper came up to me and took my hand in his with a smile. "I'm happy, Jasper. I've never been happier in my life. Are you happy?"

"More than I have ever been," he said, mirroring my words.

"Good," I smiled. "Now show me around."

We went from room to room. I asked questions and Jasper answered. The penthouse was a gorgeous space with high ceilings, hardwood floors, marble tiling, two magnificent bedrooms, two bathrooms fit for royalty and expensive art throughout. I stopped by the Van Gogh painting in our master bedroom as Jasper had promptly called it when he escorted me into the room, and turned to him with a cocked eyebrow, "Van Gogh?"

"I like art, Bella. You?"

I smiled, happy to learn that about him because he didn't have that much art at home. Jasper was full of surprises. "I do too."

The king sized bed filled the middle of the bedroom, but the room was still spacious enough and its decor spoke volumes about the incredible man standing silently behind me while I stared out of the bay window. Again, from here, I could see the city. I sighed and took in the sights as Jasper's strong arms wrapped around my waist, easing me back into the safety of his embrace. "Like it?"

I laid my head on his shoulder. "So much."

While I admired the city, he dropped small kisses along my neck, making me sigh. I would always love the feel of his lips on my skin. "Jasper..."

"Bella..."

I turned just enough to meet his lips. His kiss was intense and sweet. He turned me into his arms and began to move backward, stopping when his legs hit the bed and pulled away. "Bella, if you don't want to do this, please stop me now. Or if you're tired, we can..."

"Jasper, I want you."

Urgent, heavy and soul binding kisses passed between us while we undressed each other. Jasper laid me down on the bed and then proceeded to set me on fire with his touch. His kisses moved all over my body leaving me breathless and pleading for him. His lips nipped and bit at my willing flesh as soft, deep chuckles left him at my gasps and sighs of pleasure. He was kissing his way up my inner thighs, getting dangerously close to where I wanted him to be, but I realized I wanted this to be more about him than me. He had done so much. He meant so much to me. And I wanted to please him in any way I could.

Stopping his mouth's ascent to my pleading core, I moved to get up. He looked perplexed and I was more than aching for his mouth on me, but I had to do this. I wanted to do this.

Jasper took it the wrong way. "I'm sorry, darlin', I thought you wanted to..." But I didn't give him time to finish the sentence. I pulled him into a heated kiss.

Tearing my lips away, I pushed him down on the bed. "I want to, but, my way."

He smirked up at me, obviously pleased with the turn of events. "Yes, ma'am."

Positioning himself against the pillows, he watched me as I crawled down his body, leaving kisses and bites in my wake. "My, my, Ms. Swan...uhh...I really like your way."

I bit his inner thigh and he groaned and chuckled deeply. "Just you wait." I was eyeing his hard cock and made sure to lick my lips and moan at the sight of it, making him growl.

"Don't tease, Bella."

"I'm not," I replied, moving to where he wanted me; kissing the tip of his dick before sucking the head into my mouth.

"Oh fuck!" I glanced to see him slam his head back against the pillows with his eyes tightly shut.

I smiled and worked my way down his length, sucking his cock in earnest while fondling his balls. When he begged me to let him come, I swallowed around him.

"Bella...fuck...damn...Bella!" Jasper shouted and came down my throat.

I took my time licking him clean before kissing the head and moving back up the bed to lying down beside him.

"Bella..." he chuckled breathlessly. "Bella..."

"I'll wait until you can talk." But I had no intention to. I planned to tease him until he was ready again. I might have been momentarily stunned to know that he bought a penthouse for me and him but I didn't forget his promise before we left home.

"Bella...that was..."

"Exactly what you said."

He eyed me quizzically, and I knew he was thinking with his other head right now so I would have to remind him. "You said that you wouldn't let me leave the bed. I'm just getting a head start."

He laughed and pulled me into a kiss, moaning at the taste of himself. "I love you."

"Mmm...love you too."

"I want you."

"I know." I could feel how ready he was, poking me into my stomach so I pushed him on his back and straddled him. Raising myself up, I took his hard dick in hand and stroking him before placing him at my entrance. Jasper's eyes stayed on me. The intensity of his gaze making me tremble in anticipation from the lust in them.

I slid him into me and sighed in satisfaction. Jasper's eyes closed and he let out a deep moan and arched up to me. He tightened his grip on my hips and guided my movements. I moaned at the feeling of him filling me.

We started to move. Bracing my hands against Jasper's chest, I moved with him in fervor. Our moans grew louder and our bodies slammed into each other's with hunger and vigor. The slap of skin sounded through the quiet space while the tempo of our lovemaking increased.

"Oh Jasper…"

"Bella."

The positions changed every few minutes. From me on top of him, to him throwing me down on the bed and driving into me with wild abandon, and then from behind me with my hair tight in his grasp while he whispered all the naughty things he wanted to do to me during our stay in Houston, making me come screaming his name.

But he didn't stop. And I didn't want him to. My second orgasm was fast approaching as Jasper bounced me on his cock, grunting and cursing while I laughed because I loved him like this. Unbridled and filled with passion. He sat up, changing the angle and reaching deeper into me all in one move, making me scream. "Jasper!" His hungry lips muffled my moans as his sweaty body slid against mine as he pushed harder into me. I would never get enough of this man.

"Bella, God, baby, you're so fucking tight," he mumbled against my lips before moving to my neck where he kissed, bit and sucked the flesh there.

Our tempo was faster now. I was clawing at his back. He was hissing and growling in my ear. I loved it. I loved that I was the one doing this to him. "Fuck, Bella!"

"I love…uuhh…you!" My orgasm wasn't far off and I wanted to fall.

"Bella, I need to come, baby," Jasper pleaded. "I want you to come."

My body was not my own when he talked like that. It was Jasper's and it obeyed him.

Hard thrusts sent me flying over the edge; the intensity of it threatening to blind me as I screamed for him. And Jasper wasn't far behind. "Bella!" He shouted as he stilled and came inside of me before fell to the bed, fighting to breathe and shaking in each other's arms.

"I love you," he whispered and I wasn't sure if I even said it back before falling into a restful sleep.

**~~abt~~**

The light streaming into the room told me that it was a new day. We had spent the rest of yesterday doing nothing but make love. We only stopped to eat or use the bathroom. Jasper ignored all calls, and at one point, he wanted to throw his cell phones out the window.

I laughed and begged him not to, but that turned into another session of fucking, because I had to 'convince' him not to. I guess coming while shouting my name was as good a compromise as any for saving a cell phone's life.

I blinked and opened my eyes to the well lit room. I groaned and turned over only to be faced with temptation as I watched Jasper pull his pants up over his tight ass.

"Mmmm…" I groaned in need, and not in aggravation by it being daylight and that meant Jasper couldn't ignore the calls any further.

"Don't tempt me, darlin'," he said, turning to look at me with a groan when he saw what I was doing. But it wasn't entirely my fault. It was partially his. He was too desirable for his own good. And it brought out my insatiable hunger for him along with an air of confidence I had grown to love.

So I knew what staring at my bare breasts was doing to him. It was killing him. I could tell from the bulge in his pants. "All I want to do is throw these damn clothes off and climb back into bed with you."

I sat up further and ran a hand over my breasts, pinching my nipples and moaning. "Bella, you're not playing fair."

"What's an hour late?" I asked as my hand trailed lower.

Jasper didn't even hesitate. He took his clothes off and climbed back into bed with me.

An hour and half later, Jasper was rushing through getting dressed and I was relaxed as ever. I even climbed out of bed and walked over to him, naked; handing him his phones and boots.

He glanced down at my nude body and growled, "You're not playing fair, woman."

"Nope," I smiled devilishly.

"You're bad," he smirked and then kissed me…hard.

"Yep," I smiled when he pulled away.

"I'll see you at dinner."

"Are you sure?"

"Nothing will keep me away," Jasper said, kissing me again and then went out the door only to come back through it again and accost me on my way to the bathroom. He kissed me again, making me laugh and then smacked me on the ass before he walked out. I knew Sam was going wasn't going with him today. He was staying with me. But Jasper didn't say where. Sam was staying out of sight. I didn't question it any further. I merely remembered what Sam had said.

I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me.

After my shower, I got dressed and went to the gourmet kitchen to make myself a big breakfast with no qualms about eating it all.

My dress code for the day was one of Jasper's white dress shirts, a bra and a pair of boy shorts. Maybe I would change later, but for now, I wanted to be close to him. And the smell of him on his shirt was the best way.

I watched movies, listened to music, and danced around the living room; recalling former ballet pieces I had once danced.

I was happy and so glad that Jasper was eclectic like me in his musical choices. He had everything in to suit my taste.

I explored a little and even took a quick nap, waking up around lunch time. I made myself a small snack and then took my laptop out of my messenger bag. I had to document what I was feeling. I wasn't going to see Esme until April and even though I could call her, I wanted to try and handle the time away from our sessions, alone.

After taking a bite of my ham and cheese sandwich and a sip of my Hawaiian Punch, I opened up a new page and began to write.

_February, 2011…_

_Esme advised that I should take this time away from our sessions to be happy. And, so far, it has been time well spent. There have been glitches like my insane idea to run when I found out James had come close, but Jasper made me see that it was the wrong decision. James would kill me and that would kill Jasper. _

_Jasper has been nothing short of amazing. He's attentive, caring, and sweet. He bought a penthouse in Tanya's building for both us. Sitting here now, I can see a lot of potential in this place. It could be used a little getaway for us without Jasper having to travel too far from home if he didn't want to. _

_Maybe I'll share that idea with him when he gets back. _

_I love that he loves my budding friendship with Tanya. She's great. Tanya is everything I want in a friend. She's crazy but I'm cool with it. Her eccentric and sometimes, dirty attitude is a breath of fresh air. I love talking to her. _

_Rose is amazing too. She's truly the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Emmett is so lucky to have her in his life. And Jasper was too; he has a great sister. _

_Jasper regretted the days he wasn't so thankful for his family and he thought that I wouldn't forgive him for it and his escapades in college. But I did. They were his darker days. He was lost and trying to calm the demons haunting him. He went about the wrong way, but I didn't think it made him the awful person he saw himself as. _

_But my views on evil are different and perhaps harsher because I can't think of anyone who's more evil than James Carter. _

_I wish I could forget James. I wish I could wake up tomorrow morning and not be married to him. I wish I wasn't married to him in the first place because then I wouldn't have to risk divorcing him. He's dangerous. He's the devil incarnate. _

_Jasper wants to protect me but I have to keep him safe. I can't let James get his hands on Jasper. I won't allow it. _

_What am I feeling that's different from what I was feeling in December of last year when I first came to Texas? _

_Hope. Love. Contentment (at least sometimes). Courage. Joy. _

_These were once things that held no place in my life. But now, that has changed with the blue eyed cowboy I am madly in love with and the more I think about it. The more I realize how right he was. _

_He was always there for me. Through the good, the bad, the horrible, the awful, Garrett was there. _

_I'm not sure how to do this, so I'll just write. _

_Dear Garrett, _

_I dreamt of you and you're always guiding me. Thank you. I'm truly sorry for causing you pain. But, thank you. Because of you, I still knew how to love; how to care and I can bestow those emotions to Jasper. _

_But most of all, and I truly believe this, thank you for leading me here. I almost lost my way when my car was stolen. I almost gave up hope, but then Maria happened. And after her, Jasper happened. I don't know how you did it, but thank you. Thank you, Garrett. _

_I'll always love you. _

_Yours truly, _

_Bella. _

_I think it's enough for today. _

I saved my entry and spent the next few minutes in silence just crying for my friend and thinking about the great times we had.

I was so lost in thought, it took me a while to hear the knocks on the door. I wondered who it was before rolling my eyes and smiling. It was Tanya. She was probably here to see if I wanted to go do something or tease me about Jasper.

I wiped my tears away and perked up as soon as I got to the door, pulling it open with a wide smile. "Hey! Ta…" the rest of my greeting died in my throat at the sight of the statuesque blond standing there, looking at me like something she wanted to scrape off the bottom of her shoe.

A scowl marred her perfectly made up face. But instead of the timid feeling I should get from her disapproving look, I felt cheeky. She arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms across her chest and asked in a dismissive, slightly irritated tone, "Is Jasper here?"

As much as my heart sank at the fact that she just asked for my boyfriend, I couldn't let it faze me. Even though it was clearly obvious that she was an ex and she knew where the penthouse he bought was, I still couldn't let it break me. I had Alice to deal with. What else was out there? I mean, I had expected quite a number of exes go through, right? Even models.

"No, he isn't here," I said, taking in her attire from head to toe. The Fendi bag, Jimmy Choo stilettos and Dior outfit all screamed 'model'. Even if I thought she was overdoing it a bit. I didn't think you needed to mix designers to show that you had money. Some people were just fucking shallow.

If possible, her arched brow went higher as she took in my attire. "Oh really?" she said in an accusing manner as she eyed me.

Yeah, I knew what I was wearing and I felt cheeky because of it. Take that! I was standing here in Jasper's white shirt and nothing but my panties and bra under it. "Yes, really. You already missed him."

She smirked and I recognized that sinister look anywhere. She was about to say something to get a rise of me. I knew the look because it was how Vicky always looked before she told a lie on me so James would hurt me.

"Well…" she paused, waiting on me to provide her with my name.

"Bella."

"Well, _Bella,_ I guess I'll see him at the office then," she said. _She knew where the offices were._ "I just thought that maybe he'd still be here and I heard that he bought a penthouse…" She looked over my head, making a quick scan of the foyer. "But I guess I'll just surprise him at the office. I'm sure he'll be happy to see me again."

She turned away, flipping her hair over her shoulder, but I wasn't through with her. No one was going make me feel bad today. "Or if you don't catch him there, then I can always tell him you dropped by. Who are you again?"

She visibly bristled at my nonchalance. "I'm Natasha, _Bella_."

"Good, then I'll be sure to deliver the message, _Natasha_." I stressed on her name in the same snide way she stressed on mine before shutting the door in her face.

The afternoon turned into evening and passed without incidents. I explored the penthouse some more and watched TV. I even tried watching one of Jasper's favorite horror movies, but I only made it quarter way through it before I got spooked and shut it off. I needed Jasper's commentary in my ear and his strong arm around my shoulder.

Jasper called twice and while our conversations were brief, they were sweet. In the first call, he apologized for Natasha and told me that they dated briefly in college. By briefly he meant that she was a booty call. When I pointed that out, he laughed and agreed. He said even after he moved on, she still flirted with him like crazy whenever she saw him.

He apologized and I accepted because I doubted she would be the last we'd come across and it didn't bother me. I was too happy today.

We talked until Edward called him away.

The second call came when I was about to get out of the shower. I had already decided on what to make for dinner, but I just felt like a shower. I teased Jasper a little during this call, and I could have sworn that I heard something about flowers in the background, but Jasper covered well. We talked until Maria called him away this time. But Jasper promised to call again.

After fighting with my hair, I put on a red lacy panty and bra set –Tanya's idea to pack it –and donned a flirty summer dress and went to the kitchen. I wanted dinner to be great. It was the day before Valentine's after all. So it was going to be a hearty meal of Breaded Pork Chops, Pasta Salad with Spiced Iced Tea. But knowing Jasper's appetite, I was throwing some biscuits in the mix as well.

Someone knocked the door and I placed the chops in the oven and went to get it. Tanya and Charlotte pulled me into a big hug and then let themselves in. When Tanya realized that I was making dinner, she and Char opted to stay and help if I fed them too; so more chops went into the oven. We chatted and laughed but my mind was partially elsewhere.

Char said that Edward and Peter along with Jasper's uncle Joshua were all at the meeting and it was taking forever. I asked if Jasper sent them and they said no. I believed them. They just understood how long these things took. Tanya said Sam was around and watching over us. He found Natasha's visit funny. He was staying with Tanya apparently and she was in one of the penthouses on this floor.

I was excited about that, but I still wished Jasper would call.

After I took out the chops, I prayed he would call, but heard nothing. While I put the pasta salad together, I mentally begged him to call, but still, nothing. And by the time I showed Tanya and Char how to make Spiced Iced Tea, I sighed and forgot about it.

"It's business, Bella," Char said over dinner after we made plates for the guys, "and it sucks sometimes."

Tanya looked solemn. "It's my fault. It was Paul's debauchery and you girls are getting punished for his greediness. It's keeping the guys away."

Char and I chastised her for that. It wasn't her fault and if we're lucky Jasper and the guys are rectifying that mistake now. So I relaxed and enjoyed the rest of dinner with the girls.

Jasper will be back when he can. I had nothing to worry about.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next: I fucked up<strong>_


	38. Happy Valentine's Day

_**AN: Jasper misses dinner, but makes up for it. **_

_**Chapter thirty seven: Happy Valentine's Day**_

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><p><em><strong>Jasper, February, 2011…<strong>_

* * *

><p>"Excuse me, Sir," the guy said. "Where would you like the flowers delivered?"<p>

"What are you doing?" Bella asked, the suspicion in her tone making me smile.

"Nothing," I replied coyly while writing down what I wanted the florist's assistant to do. I handed him the paper. He read the instructions, nodded, and left.

"Are you sure?"

I smirked at her question before turning the tables on her. "Absolutely. What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Bella said quickly. Her answer was vague and accompanied by a giggle that left me intrigued.

"Really? Just nothing?"

"Yes, really," she half moaned; making my cock twitch.

I shook my head and groaned into the phone. "I wish I wasn't here right now. I wanted to be there with you."

"And what would you be doing if you were here with me?" She had no idea how dangerous that question was.

I scanned the open office, noticing no eyes on me. "If I were there, you'd be under me, on top of me or in front of me taking my cock into that sweet pussy of yours."

Bella moaned into the phone and told me that she wanted me. I looked at the elevator and nearly said 'fuck this meeting' and go home to her.

"I can't wait to get home."

"I can't wait to see you," she groaned into my ear. "All of you."

"Fuck, you're killing me," I said softly.

"Go somewhere if you can."

I didn't stop searching until I found an empty office and fist pumped before going inside and shutting the door behind me. "I found somewhere," I eagerly tell her.

"Good. But, Jasper, I know you're up to something," she said, momentarily taking my mind out of the gutter it was presently residing in.

"Yes, I am," I said cheekily. "But you won't know a thing until I tell you."

She laughed at me. "Please, no more extravagant gifts."

"You'll like this one."

"I will?"

"It's one of the most inexpensive things I have done since you met me."

Although it was just a part of the gift, getting Bella flowers was the most inexpensive thing I have done. Compared to the car I bought her to get around town, and the penthouse being another part of my Valentine's present to her, I think flowers were the least costly thing I have purchased.

Rose called her favorite florist for me after I shared the little surprise I had planned for Bella. Rose warned me not to go overboard, and I promised her I wouldn't. It was just a couple of vases of roses that I was going to have put in every corner of penthouse. What was overboard about that? Tomorrow was our first Valentine's together. I wanted Bella to enjoy it.

There was a soft sigh on the other end of the phone and then Bella whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too. But you're still not going to know what I'm up to."

Bella laughed.

"Baby, what are _you_ up to?" I wanted her to admit it. I needed an image of my girl's delectable body in my mind to help get me through the rest of this meeting, if I was going to stay.

"Are you alone?" her voice dropped to a sexy tone.

"Yes."

"Bella, are you naked?"

"I don't know," she moaned. _God damn, a naughty Bella was a fun Bella. _"What do you call it if I can see my pussy in the mirror?"

I growled and palmed my cock through my pants. "Shit."

She giggled, "I want you here. When will I see you?"

"I want to be there right now," I whined. The thought of her naked ass moving about the bathroom was killing me. "I want to leave so bad, Bella."

She switched gears and the sincerity in her tone touched my heart. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I wish I could help."

"You are. You're giving me something to look forward when I get home."

She laughed. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Jasper."

I stroked my cock and moaned. "Not gonna happen. Need you too damn much right now, baby."

"Jasper?"

"Is that Maria?"

I groaned and willed myself to calm down. Talk about a cock block. "Yeah, I gotta go. I love you, Bella."

"I love you too."

I ended the call and Mom said, "I thought you'd left."

"Unfortunately no," I said. "And I wanna string Paul up by his balls for putting us in this shit."

"I'll help," Mom said.

Tanya's ex had made some half cocked deal with the men we're meeting with. He told them that he could easily persuade us so they could drill on our land. They brought their lawyers with them to show how legitimate their deal with our former lawyer was, and they were throwing out big figures in hopes that we would reconsider. But the answer was still no. There will be no drilling on Whitlock land.

"I can't believe Paul did this."

Mom chuckled. "Edward wants to kill him. He left us in a sticky situation with these gentlemen, but Edward and Peter have found a way out for us."

"That's the best damn news I've heard all day," I expressed. This was good. I could go home to Bella. "Let's go."

Mom and I walked out of the boardroom. "Did you make the reservations yet?" she asked as we headed back to the boardroom where our meeting was being held.

"Yes, I did. Thanks for the suggestion."

"Bella's gonna love that restaurant, darling. Trust me," Mom smiled. "Did she like the penthouse?"

"Yeah, although I think I should ease up on the expensive gifts," I said. "It's outside Bella's comfort zone."

"Yeah, you should," Mom nodded in agreement. "I don't want you scaring the damn girl off. This isn't Alice, Jasper. You don't need to spend excessively on Bella to prove that you love her."

"I'm realizing that every day, momma. She's everything I never thought existed for me. I think she's what I was searching for," I told her. "I'm completely at ease with Bella. I've never been this happy with a woman. Even an ex means nothing to her."

"An ex?"

"Natasha showed up at the penthouse today and met Bella," I said. Natasha was so ticked off when she came here complaining about my guest. I told her that Bella was my girlfriend and did nothing wrong.

"I hope Bella didn't believe a word out of her mouth," Mom stressed.

"No," I chuckled. "She came here when I took a break earlier. She wasn't practically pleased to have met Bella and complained about Bella's nonchalance toward her."

"Screw Bella not liking expensive gifts," Mom stated with a gleam in her eye. "I'm gonna buy that girl something big and expensive for putting that little brat in her place."

"I love her," I concurred, letting my mind wonder to the girl waiting for me at home. Until Mom pinched my arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

"This is your fault," she said pointedly. "You should've been thinking with your head. The one on top of your body, not the other head!"

She was tapping the side of my head with her fingernails and I jumped away, "Damn, momma. Ouch!"

"You had too much fun in college. I know you were going through a lot, but whatever you looking for, wasn't between those fast girls' legs. All you did was warrant unnecessary attention from them. Girls like Natasha can be a pest; like her father," Mom argued. I loved she added Mr. Bradford there on the end. She loathed his attention. "But all I know is she better not cause any problem for Bella, or else, she'll have to deal with me."

"I'm sure she won't want that," I smiled at her as we continued to the boardroom. I needed to end this meeting now!

"She better not," Mom mumbled.

I smirked at her as we walked into the room. Edward, Peter, and Rose looked up and scowled at Mom and me. "I'm going to string Paul up by his balls if I ever get my hands on the bastard," Edward said angrily.

"I know how you feel."

We took our seats and the meeting continued. Mom leaned over to whisper to me, "Do you want me to buy out Tanya's building from Natasha's dad so you won't have to deal with her, seeing as your penthouse is in the same building?"

"No, Mom. I can handle it."

"Let me know if you change your mind."

"Yes, ma'am, I will."

"Good, because if Natasha goes anywhere near Bella again, I'll be on her ass," she warned. "I like Bella, Jasper. Don't fuck things up."

I pulled back to stare at her and she laughed at me.

"Natasha won't be a problem, momma."

"Good."

The meeting took another hour and a half to finish, but we came out on top. I thanked Edward, Peter, and Uncle Joshua before Edward and Peter hastily disappeared with their cell phones glued to their ear and smiles on their faces.

I was about to call Bella, when momma told me we had been invited to dinner by the business men we were just dealing with. "They insisted," she hissed.

"Fine, but I'm not eating and I'm leaving after the first drink," I told her.

"Deal."

The plan was simple, go with them, talk a little, don't eat, make up an excuse and leave.

I would see Bella soon.

**~~abt~~**

My leg bounced and I checked my watch for the umpteenth time. I wanted to scream. It was fucking nine o'clock and Mr. Bradford still hasn't shut up yet. I was ready to leave about an hour ago. But Natasha and her father saw us, and invited themselves to dinner. I was still going to make a run for it, but Mom and Rose had death grip on me, begging me not to leave them. And when I thought the torture wouldn't end, Natasha took over, focusing all her unwanted attention one me.

"Jasper, your little friend was a little rude to me today, you know," Natasha said in a chastising manner. "I hope you'll discuss her attitude with her. She needs to be more courteous on my next visit."

Mom cursed under her breath, and Rose sneered at Natasha. She, on the other hand, was oblivious to it because she only had eyes for me, which was completely unnerving.

"I have nothing to discuss with my girlfriend," Natasha bristled at my answer, but I ignored her huff, and went on, "Bella must've been reacting to something you said."

Natasha gave me a forced smile and didn't respond. But I wasn't through. This was our way out.

"Ladies, I think it's time to go." I thanked the gentlemen for dinner and Rose and momma and I left the restaurant without another word. I waited until they drove off before moving to my car. Again, I took my phone out to call Bella, but Natasha interrupted me.

She tried to take my hand in hers, but I pulled it away. She feigned innocence, batting her eyelashes in a way she thought was seductive. "Jasper, when can I see you?"

"You just saw me. Good night, Natasha."

I jumped in my car and drove off, leaving her there. While at a red light, I called the front desk and spoke with Everald. He said the flowers had been delivered to the penthouse. I thanked him and hung up. The light changed and I drove home.

Sam met me by the elevator doors when I got there feeling like shit that I had miss dinner with Bella.

When Sam saw it, he said, "She's fine, you know."

"What are you talking about?" I greeted Everald and then made my way to the elevators with Sam following me.

"I'm talked about you looking like you're going to be in the doghouse," he chuckled as we got on the elevator and pressed the number for our floor.

"I think she's mad. I told her I'd be here."

"She's not," he said. "Tanya and Char kept her company the whole time. I checked on her. She's fine."

I wanted to believe Sam when I walked into dark penthouse with only the light from the kitchen illuminated my way, but I couldn't. I still felt that I should apologize to Bella for being late. The place smelled amazing. The roses were a good choice.

I had gotten her a mixture of white, red and pink roses which were placed in crystal vases.

"Thank you," she whispered from the bedroom's doorway. She looked beautiful in her long crème lacy nightgown.

"I'm glad you like it," I whispered back. "I'm sorry for being late."

"You're here," Bella said, walking over to me. "That's what's important." She kissed my cheek and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was overreacting. Sam was right. Bella was fine. "I'm happy that you're here, Jasper."

"I'm happy I'm home with you."

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah. I barely ate today."

Bella ordered me to sit at the dining table and said she would get me something to eat. She kissed the top of my head and left for the kitchen.

My dinner was delicious and I complimented her on the dish she prepared. Bella blushed. "You're lucky I put that aside for you or else it would've been Edward or Peter's stomach right now."

"Yeah, Sam told me that Tanya and Char were over here."

"We had fun gossiping about you boys," she smiled.

I got up and kissed her. "I'm happy you're happy, Bella."

"I haven't felt this happy and free in so long," she said, her eyes bright with joy. "I love this and I love you."

"I love you too."

Bella listened with keen interest as I told her about my day. She asked questions to about what she didn't understand, and I was happy to explain. Our talk continued right through me cleaning my dishes to dragging Bella to the bathroom with me, where she sat on the closed toilet and listened to me talk. I just wanted to close to her.

After my shower, I dried off while she pretended to not peek and then I donned a pair of pajama bottoms she handed me. I lifted her up in my arms amidst her laughter and took her to bed, where we talked about the flowers.

"I love them!" she said excitedly, jumping up and kissing my lips. Bella was in an exceptionally good mood, and while I was suspicious about it, I didn't question it. She would tell me when she was ready.

"I'm happy that you do."

Bella laid her head on my chest and we continued to talk about everything and nothing. I told her about Natasha and to be on look out for a gift from momma for standing up to Natasha, making her laugh.

"You're so happy," I stated.

"I love you, that's why."

I was exhausted but too happy to sleep. I wasn't in the doghouse. Bella understood why I was late and she was happy to be here and in love with me. "I love you too, Bella."

She smiled against my chest and then kissed the spot over my heart. "Happy Valentine's Day, Jasper."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Bella."

She rose up to meet my lips in a kiss, and what started out as soft and sweet turned into heated and wanton. Soon, our clothes were shed, our hands roamed, our soft moans filled the air and as I pushed into her, I promised myself that I would never stop loving this woman.

We made love. We sought until we found our mutual end, moaning our release. My grip on Bella's body tightened as I held her to me while we caught our breath.

"I had a nightmare before you got here," she whispered to me. "I saw us at home and then you got up to go and get something to drink. You were taking so long I came to check on you and found you on the floor with James standing off the side, smirking at me as he licked your blood off the knife."

I loosened my hold on her naked body, moving back so I could look in her eyes. "I'm sorry you dreamt that, baby. I won't let him hurt you. Do you want to talk to Esme tomorrow?"

"Great time to mention your aunt," Bella chuckled looking down at our naked, joined bodies.

I laughed with her. "Your health matters more. Do you want to talk to her?"

"No," she said. "I'll talk to her, but not yet. I want to tell you the end. It's new. This dream isn't like the others."

"What did you do?"

"I killed him," she laughed shakily. "I've never done that before, Jasper. Usually, he wins, even in my sleep."

"How did you do it?" I took her back in my arms and laid her down on the bed. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed, meeting my eyes with a smile. There was so much joy in her smile. Bella's triumph was radiating nothing but undulated happiness as I kissed her cheeks, her nose, her chin and her lips.

"You told me to," she said softly against my mouth, causing me to pull back and look at her. "You said I could do it. That I was the only one who could do it. Jasper, you gave me the strength to overcome him."

Tears spilled from her eyes and a chuckle escaped her lips. She pulled me down into a kiss that led to more and we made love again.

After Bella fell asleep in my arms, I laid there watching her take soft breaths as I looked on admiration. I was happy she got this breakthrough. I knew that it was still a long road ahead and she would probably need therapy for years to come, but her dream told me two things. She was taking her life back, ridding herself of the terror James had instilled in her, and she was beginning to trust me.

When sleep finally took me, I dreamt of Bella smiling and dancing in circles with a beautiful little blonde haired girl while they played in a field of sunflowers.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next: Part II <strong>_


	39. Happy Valentine's Day Pt 2

_**AN: Part II**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter thirty eight: Happy Valentine's Day Pt. 2<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, February, 2011… <strong>_

A note in his elegant script was on his pillow telling me he'd be right back. I smiled and took it up.

The door opened and he walked in, smiling, with a tray in his hands. "I thought breakfast in bed would be a good idea," Jasper said, coming over to the bed after setting the tray down on the nightstand. It held a cup of tea, a chocolate croissant, sliced fruit and a glass of orange juice. "Happy Valentine's Day, Bella."

I held a finger up, signaling for him to give me a moment, and then jumped up, surprising myself by not getting my foot caught in the duvet and tripping, and ran to the bathroom. The sound of his laughter made me smile.

I took care of business, brushed my teeth, and then ran a comb through my mop of hair.

"Feel better?" he asked when I re-entered the bedroom.

"Much."

"Can I just say that you're beautiful no matter what?"

I sighed and made my way over to the bed, climbing in with him. I drew him close, kissed both his cheeks and then his lips, lingering there for a moment before pulling away. "You think I'm beautiful even when I have morning breath and my hair looks like a haystack?"

"Yeah."

"You're nuts."

"I don't care what you say," he said with a chuckle. "I still think you're beautiful. I'll always think you're beautiful."

Jasper made breakfast fun by teasing me through most of it with tender kisses while he pinched off pieces of my chocolate croissant.

"I thought this breakfast was for me," I pouted.

"I wanted to see that," he said, pulling back with a smile after popping a piece of croissant in his mouth.

"Wanted to see what?" His mouth was hypnotic. I couldn't help but watch him chew. Damn, I had it bad. And from the cunning smirk on Jasper's face, he knew what he was doing to me.

"Your pout."

I sipped the last of my tea. "Why?"

"Because it's cute," he said. "I love how your plump lips press together. And when you pout, all I can think about is kissing you."

"What's stopping you?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, challenging him to make a move.

"Drink the last of your orange juice," he said, eyeing my juice.

I drank it and Jasper attacked me, sending me and him toppling over on the bed. "You're crazy!" I laughed.

He laid on top of me, running a hand through my hair. "About you, yes."

"Kiss me," I sighed while staring up into his eyes.

"As you wish, ma'am," he breathed, bringing his lips to mine.

We didn't go anywhere all morning. After cleaning up our mess in the bedroom, Jasper pulled me into the bathroom where it became about a little bit more than taking a shower.

"What are we doing today?"

"Lounging around until later," he said as he threw the last bag of chips at me.

After our…passionate shower, Jasper threw on some lounge pants and left the bedroom with strict rules that I do not follow. He brought back a variety of snacks and about a dozen movies to the bedroom, saying, "We're gonna to sit around, eat snacks and watch movies."

"Yeah?"

"Yep!"

He put in a movie and then jumped into bed with me.

"Hey!" I chided him, but he ignored that, leaning over to kiss my cheek and steal one of my chips. "This is all you have planned for the day?"

"It's a part of the plan. The relaxing part."

"If I ask nicely, would you tell me what the next part entails?"

Jasper kissed my nose and threw himself down beside me. "Nope!"

"Crazy cowboy," I mumbled as he pulled me down with him and started the movie.

"You love me anyways. Now let's watch the first movie."

The idea was a good one. We ate our snacks, commented on the movies we watched, fought over what to watch next, and made out through some of them until I fell asleep in his arms.

Jasper woke me up later on to Tanya over us. He got up while Tanya offered me her hand. "Come on, Bella, it's time to go," she said.

"Go? Go where?" I asked, confusedly looking between them.

"We're going to get you ready. So hop in the shower, put on what's in the bag, your robe, and I'll be waiting for you," Tanya instructed. Jasper smiled and left the room.

I did as Tanya instructed and took a quick shower. After drying off, I went through the bag. Inside, there was an expensive jar of body butter, a black lacy bra and panty set and a small black velvety box that contained a diamond encrusted cross pendant.

When did he do this?

I used the body butter, slipped on the lacy set and took the velvety box with me. Tanya was waiting for me in the living room and Jasper was nowhere to be found.

"He'll be back for you," Tanya smiled.

"You know what he's up to."

"Of course!"

And that was all I got. Tanya couldn't be bribed or persuaded into telling me what Jasper up to.

About two hours later, I was dressed in a red strapless knee length dress and red strappy sandals to match. Tanya had kept my makeup light and we decided to let my hair down in soft curls. I was eyeing the box when I heard his voice behind me.

"You haven't put it on. You don't like it?"

"I love it. I'm just wondering when you had the time to get it," I turned to him and said.

He walked over to me and pulled me into a kiss. "I've been thinking about that since you left. And some of these plans were handled far before today."

I took a step back to look at him. He did. His black suit with a white inner shirt fit him like a glove. "You look dashing."

"You look stunning," Jasper countered, his eyes moving down my body and back up. "Can I put it on?" He gestured to the pendant.

"Sure."

"You two look so good together," Tanya said from her place at the door as Jasper put the pendant on.

I smiled at her.

"I'll see you guys there," she winked at me and I wanted to ask her where, but Jasper pulled me toward the door.

"See us where?" I asked Jasper as we waited on the elevator.

"You'll see."

When we got downstairs, I pulled to a stop noticing that I didn't see Sam anywhere. "He'll follow us there, stay with us and then trail us home," Jasper whispered to me when I tensed and refused to move an inch closer to the car parked out front.

"Okay," I said. It was good to know Sam wouldn't be far behind. "I'm glad he'll be around."

On our drive to wherever, I asked Jasper about Maria. I hadn't seen her since we left Henderson.

Jasper sighed, "It's Valentine's Day, Bella. Mom tends to sit this one out. It was one of her and Dad's favorite."

"I understand." And I did. I don't know what I would do if I lost Jasper. I loved him so much.

When we stopped at a red light, Jasper said, "Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

He chuckled a bit. "I can see the wheels turning in your mind, Bella. What are you thinking about?"

"How I can understand Maria wanting to sit Valentine's out. I don't think I'd want to go on without you."

The light changed before he could answer and we drove in silence to a restaurant. This was a dinner date. Jasper got out and came around to my side and opened my door. He pulled from the car and up into his arms, giving his keys to the valet. I spotted Sam standing off to the side, giving us some space.

"Bella, don't think that."

"Why not?" I turned my focus on Jasper. "Why would I want to exist in a world you're not in?"

"I'd want you to go on."

I smiled up at him, palming his cheek. "Jasper, if I lose you, I'll die too. There is no one else for me. You're it. No other man can compare."

"Bella…" he tried.

"That's all I have to say." I pulled out of his arms and stepped away from him. But Jasper wasn't through.

"I'd want you to stay, to live, to love."

"No," I answered defiantly. "None of it would matter without you."

We settled the argument there. Sam joined us and I told him I felt bad about taking him away from his wife on Valentine's. He dismissed it saying the Whitlocks were family and he was happy to do his job and be paid for it too.

Jasper gave our names and we were led to our tables. Sam was seated not far from us with our table within his view. He actually had a perfect view of our table, the door and anyone approaching us.

Our waiter left us with our water and our menus. Jasper and I went over them and decided on our order. When our waiter returned, we gave him it to him. Jasper was silent and a bit distant leading me to think that our talk had taken a toll on him. "I'm sorry."

He looked at me with genuine confusion etched on his face. "For what?"

"The heavy talk about love and death by the door."

"That wasn't heavy," Jasper assured me, his face relaxing and his eyes lightening up. "I'm happy to know your thoughts on the matter. We won't be on this Earth forever. It's not like we're vampires or something."

I laughed. "You've watched too many movies. But you're right, we're not."

"Exactly," Jasper chuckled. "It's good to know where we stand, Bella. And aside from one issue, you and I are on the same page."

"You mean you wanting me to go on without you and I'm stubbornly refusing to?"

Jasper smiled. "That's the issue."

"It's not one for me. It's my decision and you promised never to take that away."

He nodded. "You've got me there. I did promise you that."

"Let's forget about it. I don't want to spend our night like this. I don't want to talk about things that will bring us down. Tell me something about your dad, was he big on elaborate surprises for your mom like you are with me?"

Jasper laughed. "Yes, he was."

I chuckled. "That's who you learned it from."

"You got it."

Dinner was divine, our mood had lighten and Jasper thought I could give the chef a run for his money. I admired his faith in me. It made me feel like I could do anything. He made it clear to me that he would support me in whatever I wanted, and when I tried to thank him, he said there was no need to. I told I wanted to be a caterer.

"I'm with you 100%," Jasper said.

"Even if it takes me away from you for hours on end?"

"Payback for my job as a doctor taking me away from you for hours on end."

"Yes, especially on the weekends when you volunteer at the hospital."

He smiled at me. "You're messing with me, Bella. I know you don't mind that."

"That's true. I don't," I replied. "I love that you help people."

We continued to talk, keeping the conversation light. Jasper told me about pranks and dares him and the guys played. I loved hearing about his childhood. Emmett, Peter and Edward were really good friends.

"You're telling me that you, Peter, Edward and Emmett streaked and then jumped into a freezing lake?"

"Yeah, we were bored and wanted to do something crazy."

"You're all crazy!" I laughed.

Jasper was laughing along with me until he looked over Sam's table and grew serious. "Jasper, what is it?" Whatever Sam was showing him, unsettled him.

Following his eyes, I looked behind me and saw her on the approach to our table. This wasn't happening. But it was also too late to move. She was right at our table staring down at Jasper with a gleam in her eye that made me want to smack her.

"Jasper! You naughty bunny! You didn't tell me you were coming here tonight," Natasha said.

I glanced at the naughty bunny, watching his face turn purple with anger. He looked at me and I mouthed, 'Naughty bunny?' to him. He gave me a tight smile before turning his attention to Natasha.

"I have no reason to inform you of anything," Jasper said coldly.

Was it wrong to be turned on by him right now?

Natasha ignored his snippy response. "Well, I just wanted to know, silly. We could've met up and had some drinks."

Jasper took a deep breath trying to rein in his temper while I attempted to ignore how desirable he looked when he was mad. I couldn't have my head clouded with lust right now. Natasha was bound to do something and I had to be ready for her. I knew her type. She reminded me of Victoria. Obnoxious and obscene.

"You remember my girlfriend, Bella?"

She spared me a sideward glance and a fake smile. "Oh yes, Bella, how are you?"

I wanted to claw her eyes out. That was how I was. "I'm fine, and you?"

"I'm great now," she replied, turning her wandering eyes back to Jasper.

"Is there something you need, Natasha?" Jasper said through clenched teeth in hopes of dismissing Natasha before he exploded. He was doing well to mask it from an oblivious Natasha, but I wanted her gone before he cracked under pressure.

That would an 'in' for her. Jasper asked her the perfect question. If she smirked at me before answering it, then she was about to say something she thought would affect me.

Like clockwork, Natasha spared me another sideward glance mingled in with a smirk and said, "I wanted to know when you want to meet up?"

I looked at Jasper to gauge his reaction. He was mad as hell. He was glaring at Natasha as he replied in a deadly calm tone, "I already told you, Natasha, I'm not interested."

"Funny, you used to be," she countered.

Oh, the nerve of this woman! How desperate do you have to be to interrupt a man's private dinner with someone else just so you could throw yourself at him?

I sat back with my arms crossed over my chest, letting out a snort that garnered both Jasper and Natasha's attention. I probably shouldn't have, given the mood Jasper was currently in, but this shit was too funny. She was trying so hard.

It was also wrong to egg Jasper on, but I couldn't resist. "You were supposed to go on a date?"

Jasper growled and muttered something under his breath while Natasha looked proud. She obvious thought she was getting to me. It was a pity that this woman was so dense she couldn't see that she was the one causing Jasper to act like a caged animal at the moment.

"Bella, I think it's time we left," he managed to get out without growling.

Natasha didn't like the sound of that. And I was fighting back my laughter because of what I was about to say.

"But you can't go!" she whined, snapping her eyes to me like she thought I was controlling what Jasper thought.

I held my hands up in surrender to push things. "Don't look at me. I'm having a good time. Jasper is the one who wants to leave."

Jasper glared at me and I laughed at him. "What? It's true. I'm not through with dinner. I like it here and I was enjoying your trip down memory lane. I wanted to hear some more."

"We can do this another time." Jasper tried to compromise.

"Really? I kinda liked what we were doing now," I smiled. Jasper called the waiter over and gave him his credit card. "Oh, come on, you're no fun."

"Bella," he growled. He wanted me to stop making fun of the situation. He wanted to get rid of Natasha and my jovial mood was making her hang around.

"Jasper," I mock growled. "Oh quit it. We both know the truth. Your dick is that good." His eyes widened and Natasha coughed. "What?" I asked, looking between them both. "We're adults here, and you both know I'm telling the truth."

"Bella, I don't think we should be talking about this," Jasper said through gritted teeth.

"I think this is the perfect time," I said, disagreeing with him. "I mean, your dick is the reason your ex is standing here. Aside from the fact that she can't believe you're dating a nobody like me after you break up with a socialite like Alice Brandon and not immediately find another socialite like herself to stick your cock in, she's here because…" I leaned in close and whispered. "She wants you to fuck her brains out."

Jasper looked at me like I had grown two heads, but I was all smiles, hoping that he would wise up and stop letting Natasha get to him. I wanted him to catch on to what I was doing.

Jasper relaxed in his seat, peering at me. "So what you're saying is that I should be fucking Natasha, not you?"

"Well, I can't speak for Natasha. I can only speak for me and that's how I see things."

Natasha was looking between us in shock and a little bit of hope. This woman was unbelievable.

Jasper let out a laugh. Sam presented himself at our table with the waiter standing behind him. He took Jasper's credit card from the nervous looking guy and handed it to Jasper. He tipped the guy and sent him away.

Jasper got up and held a hand out which I took. He came around to my side of the table and pulled me close. His fiery blue eyes holding me captive. "Well, here's the thing, Bella."

"Yes?" I breathed. I really wanted to kiss him. His lips were so close to mine.

"I'd rather fuck you."

Natasha gasped in shock, although I don't see why, Sam chuckled, and I was willing my legs not to give way. My body lagged against Jasper's. He was practically holding me up. And his sexy smirk told me he knew what he was doing to me, but I wouldn't be topped.

"I think you just don't want to give up the blowjobs."

Jasper was surprised at my comeback but chuckled and replied, "I really don't."

Natasha huffed and stormed off. I hope that was the last we saw of her.

Jasper and I laughed all the way to the front of the restaurant. "I can't believe I said that!" I said, wiping the tears away. I had laughed myself to tears. That was really me. A confident me that didn't take anyone's shit.

"You, darlin', were magnificent!"

"Why, thank you, kind sir."

The valet brought Jasper's car around and when we got in, I told him why I did what I did.

"You were drowning in your anger."

He gave me a small smile. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"I'm not. I was glad I could help. She was getting to you and I wanted you to know that I'm here, and I don't feel the least bit threatened by her."

He pulled me into a deep kiss that only ended when Sam honked his horn.

All the way to the club, Jasper kept his hand on my thigh. My little show of strength against a dumb ex had left us both turned on. At a red light, he leaned over the console to whisper, "You have no idea how much I want to fuck you right now."

I was still feeling overly confident. "Yeah? Then I can't wait until you stop the car."

When the light turned to green, Jasper took off. His hand was climbing higher up my thigh until he was skimming the edges of my panties. I opened my legs a little wider to accommodate him, reached down, slipped my panties to the side and guided his finger inside of me. I threw my head back and closed my eyes with a moan while writhing on his finger.

The car came to a stop and I felt Jasper's lips on mine. They moved from my mouth with kisses and gentle bites down to my neck while he added another finger in me.

"Oh, Jasper…"

"Fuck, Bella, you're so wet for me."

Coherent thought told me to stop. I could hear the pounding music. I knew we were somewhere near a club, but Jasper's skilled fingers were working me over.

"Jasper…we should…mmm…stop."

He twisted his fingers inside of me, shutting me up. "No, we should bury my cock in that sweet, tight pussy of yours and let you fuck yourself on it until you come. I want to watch you come for me, Bella."

His long fingers. His words. His kisses. It was too much. And suddenly, I didn't care where we were, I had to have him. I wanted to fuck. I wanted to feel his hard cock pounding into me. I wanted to come on that cock. "Jasper…you should stop," I rasped and he did. But before he could mistakenly think that I wanted this to end, I attacked him.

Climbing into his lap, I kissed him soundly on the lips. My tongue sweeping over his and I vaguely heard a car door being opened and closed. I didn't care. Jasper pulled me into the backseat where we kissed while I fumbled in his back pocket, looking for his wallet.

When I found it, I cheered and he laughed. I pulled out a condom and threw the wallet down somewhere. Together, we took my panties off and then pushed his pants down. We rolled the condom over Jasper's sensitive cock and he hissed. I pumped him and bit his bottom lip making him kiss me fiercely.

"Want you.." he said harshly against my mouth.

I hitched a leg up over his hip and we guided his dick inside of me, both of us sighing in satisfaction before he started to move. It felt so good I wanted to scream.

We switched positions at one point. Jasper sat me in his lap and held my hips while I rode his cock, wanting to come. He was so deep I bit his shoulder not to scream.

"Fuck, baby, you feel so good," he moaned. "That's it. That's my girl. Fuck my cock."

I was already so close, his words and hard thrusts sent me over the edge. My pussy clenched, and I exploded around him, gasping his name. "Jasper!"

Lights exploded behind my closed eyes and my body trembled while Jasper sought his end. When he came, he pushed me over the edge again.

We held each other until we calmed down, and I backed away, self consciousness kicking in while I sat in his lap, naked from the waist down with his dick inside of me. "What did we just do?"

His smug smile made me laugh. He rocked his hips into me, making his semi hard cock massage my inner walls. "Jasper, stop. What did we just do? We're in a parking lot and Sam has got to be around here somewhere."

"We just fucked," he said nonchalantly. "And even if Sam knows what we just did, he won't say anything about it. He'll probably look at it as us scratching an inch."

"That's it?" I was mortified for some reason. Actually only a part of me was. The other part of me wanted to do this again.

He pulled me down into a kiss. "That's it."

The kiss was quickly turning into something more but we couldn't. The lust haze had lifted and I was more than aware that we were in a public parking lot. "Jasper, we really have to stop this time."

He laughed and backed off.

We fixed our clothes and my hair. "Jasper, the car smells like sex."

Jasper chuckled. "I'll have it cleaned."

"We fucked in a rental," I sighed and rolled my eyes at myself. "What's happening to me?"

"Nothing," Jasper said. "We're in love and can't keep our hands off each other."

I didn't see Sam anywhere all the way into the club. "Jasper, where's…?"

"We can't see him, but he can see us," Jasper was quick to explain as he guided me through the throes of people dancing. I hadn't been to a club since college. I think I had actually forgotten how to act. Garrett, myself and his friends used to go, but when Garrett died and James happened, my social life was over.

I was used to be comfortable under these lights, dancing the night away, but now, I clung to Jasper's arm like a scared kitten. "Are you alright?" he said in my ear when our friends came into view. We had stopped at the entrance to VIP so he could talk to me.

"I'm fine!" I yelled over the music. "It's just been a while since I've been to anywhere like this."

"We can leave!"

"No!" I shouted back. "I want to stay! This should be fun."

Jasper nodded and continued into VIP. Tanya jumped up and pulled me to her. "You good?"

"I'm fine."

And I was. Emmett kept me laughing. Peter and Edward tried to coerce me into drinking. Jasper danced with me. And Tanya, Rose and Char were the girlfriends I have always wanted. We all danced, laughed and had a good time.

The guys got into a daring drinking game with Jack Daniels and Jasper won. Emmett pouted, Edward passed out and Peter asked defeat with a middle finger, sticking out of Char's window as she drove them home. The girls and I had opted not to drink too much.

Around three am, I followed Sam home with a talkative Jasper beside me. Sam helped me get Jasper inside while he told Sam that we had sex in the car. Sam laughed and said he knew. I should be mortified, but it was too late to care. We had to get Jasper to bed. We made it to the bedroom and threw him down on it. Sam helped me get his boots off and put him under the covers, only to have him throw it off with a laugh.

"He's a playful drunk," Sam said. "Are you good? Can you handle him?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I said. "Thanks for your help."

"Sure. See you in the…see you later," Sam chuckled on his way out.

"Later."

I went to the bathroom, washed off my makeup and changed into one of Jasper's shirts. I grabbed two aspirins and a glass of water, knowing he will need it a little later on and returned to the bedroom to find a drunken Jasper wide awake and grinning at me.

"Baby, you look so cute in my shirt." he slurred.

"Thanks." I placed the water and pills on the nightstand.

"Oh, baby, you're so sweet," he cooed. "And so cute. I love your hair. It's pretty."

"Thanks, Jasper. I love you too."

"We should get married."

"We will." I lay beside him but he jumped up and sat on his knees, staring down at me excitedly.

"You really mean that?"

I sat up. "Yes, I do."

"I can't wait to marry you."

"We have to."

He knitted his brows and pouted. It looked kind of cute. "Oh yeah, that asshole, James. Why did you marry him? You should have come to Texas and meet me first then we wouldn't have to do this."

"Come and lie down, we need some sleep." He had a point, but the past was the past.

"Yeah, maybe sleep would do me some good."

"It will."

**~~abt~~**

Garrett's smiling face faded as the ringing got closer and louder. I shot up in the bed, taking up the offense device and answering it after I saw whose name flashed across the screen. "Hello, Jasper's phone."

"Ms. Swan?" Jenks said.

"Yes, it is, Mr. Jenks. What is it?"

He hesitated for a second and then told me that he needed to speak with Jasper. I told him that Jasper was asleep. "If it has something to do with James, you can tell me."

He paused again. "Ms. Swan, Mr. Carter's friend has died."

"Which friend?" _Could it be?_

"Alec Felix Vincent."

"From the Vincent family," I said with a shaky breath, fully awaken now that I realized who we were talking about. Felix was dead.

The bed moved, signaling that Jasper had been roused from his sleep. He was looking at me worriedly and asking for the phone when he saw my hand shaking with it. "It's Jenks. James' friend and dealer is dead." I told Jasper while Jenks listened.

"Ms. Swan, you were aware of Mr. Vincent being Mr. Carter's dealer?" Jenks asked.

"I learned it from Victoria. He had a weird name thing. He liked to go by 'Alec' or 'Felix' on any given day," I answered Jenks and told Jasper. "How did he die?"

"It was a car accident, ma'am."

"Good. Here's Jasper," I told Jenks and handed Jasper his cell phone. I got up and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I didn't need to hear anything else about this. It was sending me back there. Back to that afternoon. Felix's laughing face was in front of me. I could feel his eyes creeping down my body as he leered at me. I could feel his hands on me.

I went over to the mirror and stared at myself. "You're here. You're with Jasper and you're happy," I said to my reflection. "They can't hurt you anymore." And then I went over to the toilet and threw up.

Jasper came into the bathroom to check on me. I was lying on the floor, loving the feel of the cool tile against my hot and sticky skin. Jasper sat me up and told me I could catch a cold that way. I smiled at him. He was so caring.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"No. It concerns me," I said, referring to Felix.

"I would've told you."

"I know now and I'm okay with that."

Jasper nodded and got up. "I understand. Come on, let's get you back to bed. Thanks for the aspirin."

It was my turn to nod. "Sure, but I'm not going back to bed."

"You want something to eat? I can make you breakfast," Jasper offered.

"No."

"Are you okay?" He placed his palm on my forehead. "You feel a little hot. Maybe I should check your temperature. You could be coming down with something. Let's get you to bed."

"I'm fine," I told him as he pulled me up from the floor. "I'll be fine."

Jasper took a step back and looked at me concernedly. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"I need to go to the pharmacy."

Jasper chuckled. "The pharmacy, why?"

"I need a test." The dream was coming back to me. I knew what Jenks' call had awoken me from. I remembered what Garrett said.

"What kind of test?" Jasper asked.

"A pregnancy test."

Jasper gasped.

_Garrett and I were sitting on the bench, watching the little girl play. _

"_How is this possible?" I asked, amidst my tears with a hand on my flat stomach. "She isn't even born yet." _

"_Hey, we know a lot over here," he said, caressing my cheek. The warmth of his hand relaxing me. "Take care of her." _

_I looked back at the little girl and she looked at me, smiled and waved. "I will." _

"Bella, what are you…"

"I had a dream. I saw Garrett and he clued me in. He said it was time I knew."

Jasper's entire lit up with a radiant smile. "Then let's go make sure."

**~~abt~~**

_**James, February, 2011..**_

Vicky laughed and shook her head at me. "I can't believe you did it. I thought he was your friend."

"He served his purpose."

"Bullshit!"

Vicky was walking a fine line with me. But the effects of the drugs were kicking in and it felt too good to move from my spot on the couch to bash her head in.

"Why do you say that?"

"You killed him."

"He got in an accident."

Vicky laughed. "An accident, James? You laced his fucking coke! And then you let him go driving with that little bitch. She's an heiress, you know? He could've killed her."

"Well, he didn't, now did he?" I was feeling a little smug. This was a good high. Felix had been hiding the good stuff from me.

"Are you forgetting that I was here?" she asked with a smirk I wanted to slap off her face.

"So?"

"He mentioned Bella."

"Don't call her that!"

She scoffed at me. "He mentioned her and what he wanted and how much he loved the afternoon you let him fuck her and you went off!"

She was shouting but had the sense to stay away from me. Good girl. Or else I would be choking her right now.

"He wanted to know when I was bringing Marie home," I said, remembering the smile on Felix's face as he talked about how unforgettable Marie was. How tight she felt. And how he couldn't wait to have her again. Aside from messing with our dealings and robbing me blind, he wanted to fuck my Marie again? Hell no.

"And that's grounds to kill him?"

"The son of a bitch was robbing me. He needed to be dealt with."

Vicky scoffed again.

"What?"

"Nothing. All I have to say is, you better pray his family doesn't find out."

"They won't."

"Good. Because if they do, you're dead."

"They won't find out," I smiled at her and said coyly, "It was just an accident, remember?"

Vicky laughed.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next: March...<strong>_


	40. I'll Be Doing What?

_**AN: Bella takes on the task.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter thirty nine: I'll be Doing What?!<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, March, 2011... <strong>_

"Okay, Bella, I think we're on a good track but I'll be monitoring you closely through the first trimester," Zafrina said. "Here's your nutrition list from your nutritionist as per request from your overzealous partner."

"Thanks."

Zafrina nodded and smiled, "Carlisle is also available for any questions along with Jasper, of course."

"Of course, and I'm sorry about his crazy request."

Zafrina laughed just as Jasper walked back into her office with my prenatal vitamins. "It wasn't crazy, Bella. I just want what's best for you and the baby."

"You're what's best for me and the baby."

He smiled while Zafrina went on with her instructions.

We left her office soon after that. The town car was waiting to take us home after Jasper and I had spent the rest of February in Houston in our own little world after finding out about my pregnancy. It was fun. Jasper made it a great experience and I couldn't wait to go back. The penthouse was a great idea.

My pregnancy came as no surprise to Tanya. She said we were bound to get into trouble sooner or later. I shut her up by saying that her and Edward might not be far behind. Maria screamed her head off and Rose was pretty much the same. Sue was over the moon about it. Peter joked around with me and Char was ready to go baby shopping. She loved babies.

Rose's wedding was coming up this month and Emmett was both happy about that and Jasper and mine's baby news. Emmett couldn't wait to officially call Rose his wife.

Jasper was his best man and I would be his date of course. Rose had apologized for me not being in the wedding party. And she tried to compensate her mistake, as she viewed it, by making me a bridesmaid, but I declined and told her it was fine. I wanted to watch things from the sidelines. I was happy just being Jasper's date.

Alice was the thorn in everyone's side though. Rose regretted her involvement in the preparations, and called Jasper to rant a lot during our time away. He always apologized to me for the calls, but there was no need for him to and I told him so. This was his family.

He promised his sister they wouldn't have to deal with Alice after the wedding. This error was because of his relationship with Alice at the time of Rose's engagement and also because of Alice getting her mother, the former chairman for the society club, voted off. Jasper said it was because Clara sided with him and agreed that he and Alice should break up. She knew her daughter and advised him to move on.

"She's here almost every day," Sue told me over the phone yesterday. "I'll be watching out for you."

While Sue was watching out for me, Jasper was about to become a tyrant in Alice's life if she did anything to hurt me verbally or physically. He didn't want her anywhere near me and the baby. I tried to joke around about it over breakfast this morning before we began our journey home, but he wasn't having it.

"Bella, if she so much as gives you a headache, she'll have to deal with me," he told me. He was dead serious too.

"Jasper, calm down," I said, taking his hand, and feeling him relax underneath my touch. "Everything will be fine."

"It will be when the wedding is over and Alice gets off the ranch. Our relationship is over, Bella. I don't see why she can't accept it. This wedding is about my sister and my best friend. Not about her and her ridiculous delusions," he argued and then sighed. "Why couldn't I have met you first?"

I chuckled. "Things would have been so different."

"Yeah."

He had a point. Alice viewed her forced involvement in the preparations as a sign that she and Jasper could rekindle their relationship. She saw him being with me as Jasper's way of taking a break or punishing her for cheating on him.

But what will happen when she finds out that I'm pregnant? I was expecting her explosion and disbelief. I expected her to think that it was Maria's influence. Or this was my gold digging way of remaining in the Whitlock family.

It didn't matter what she thought. She was a conniving, spoiled brat who hated it when things didn't go her way. That was it. I had no time for her. I was five weeks pregnant, a fact that shocked me when I found out, and happy about it. I felt great. I didn't have to worry about a thing when it came to Jasper. He had readily accepted the results and was ecstatic about it. His over protectiveness would probably drive me mad in the future, but he was too cute with it. But mostly, he was calm and ready for anything. I loved that. When Tanya had run over to the penthouse, screaming her head in excitement before she started teasing us about getting into trouble eventually, Jasper was there to calm her down. When Tanya left, I asked him if it was always going to be like this.

"Wait until you get home," Jasper smiled. "Mom and Rose are crazier than Tanya when comes to babies."

When he said it, I realized something. "I'm having the first Whitlock in your immediate family, aren't I?"

"You're having my heir, Bella."

After he said that, I realized the honor I had been given. I was having a baby that would be loved and treasured by one of the kindest, sweetest man I had ever met. If my dreams were right, my daughter would never be unloved or hurt by anyone without consequences if her father had anything to say about it. I was giving my little girl and her daddy the greatest gift. I was giving them each other.

The car pulled to a stop and I looked out the window and laughed. Maria, Rose, and Sue were all waiting in front of Jasper's for me and him. When we got out of the car, Jasper was hugged and kissed before he was pushed out of the way to get to me. Then it was screaming, cheering and tears.

"Everyone back off," Jasper demanded. "Bella needs some rest."

"Jasper, I'm fine. I'm glad to be home."

"You need some rest," Jasper said. "Then we'll have dinner and then we can all talk."

Maria raised a brow at him. "I'm gonna let your little ordering me around slide because Bella does need her rest. But I hope you know that goes for you too."

I blushed at what Maria was implying. I had to admit, I was the bad guy in that department. Jasper was the one telling me to behave and stop tempting him. Has he looked at himself in a mirror lately? Who wouldn't want to jump that?

"Yes, Bella. He better understand from now, that rest means sleep…Only!"

Jasper looked scolded and I laughed at him. He winked at me and I blushed.

"Yes, ma'am. Bella will get her rest."

And I did. Jasper ensured I got some good sleep. Sue prepared a big dinner to welcome us back home that was served over at the main house. Alice interrupted us, claiming that she had something to show Rose something pertaining the wedding invites, and Jasper kept his hand in mine under the table, rubbing circles in my palm. I couldn't stop giggling. It didn't even feel like she was there. I didn't even know when she left.

The next morning brought Esme over for a short visit. She had come to see her sister but wanted to check up on me and say congratulations. We sat down for a small impromptu session in Jasper's backyard oasis.

"So how are you feeling?" she asked.

"Strange. Happy. Scared. Loved."

"That sounds about right," she chuckled. "But I want you to know that I'm here to talk whenever you need me. You're making great progress, Bella."

"Thanks," I said.

With a small hug, we ended our session with Esme wanting us to have a proper one in April. But emergency calls were always welcomed.

I took a small nap and woke up to Jasper's soft snores. He must have come into the room and fell asleep with me. We had talked about things and how they would change when we get home while in Houston. One decision that we agreed upon was I would officially move into his room and my former room would be transformed into our baby's room.

Planning had already begun. Jasper had contacted his uncle. And decisions were being finalized. We weren't going to move too fast. Because my previous history with James, I thought it was better to get all the major changes and shopping done when I was in my second trimester. Jasper agreed.

But one thing was for certain, we wanted a big family. I wanted my life to be surrounded by Jasper and our kids.

James came up during our discussion and it almost ensue arguments between Jasper and me. I wanted to proceed with a divorce now and Jasper wanted to wait until later in the pregnancy when I was out of danger. I just wanted it over and done with. I wanted James out of my life forever. But I was under the watchful eye of my boyfriend who happened to be a doctor and he wanted me to wait.

"You're thinking hard again," he croaked with his eyes still closed and a small smile playing across his lips.

I leaned in and kissed him. "How do you know that?"

"I'm getting to know you," Jasper said, opening his eyes to me. I felt trapped in their stellar blue glow but also was comforted by it. His eyes held nothing but love. "Every day I learn something new. I love your little traits. Even if they annoy me sometimes. I hate that you worry about everything, but I don't dare stop you. I love you for it instead."

"I love you so much." I pulled him into a kiss. Taking the time to just be in his arms and loved.

"We should be getting to dinner," he whispered against my mouth. "Sue will be wondering where we are and Momma will probably come over here for you."

I chuckled and pulled away. Getting up, I walked into his, now our, closet and smiled at all my clothes on one side. I walked back out and went over to my desk was in the other corner of the room with my notebook and other stuff on it. "I wasn't sure if you want to change that desk. Let me know, baby."

I looked at him in astonishment. "I'm cool with the desk. But when did you do all of this?"

"It was between Sam, Rose and me. We finished up while you were asleep," he smiled. "You sleep like the dead by the way. It's refreshing."

"No nightmares?" I had been worried about them. I haven't had one in a while and I didn't want them to come back anytime soon.

"None," Jasper said with a smile. "What about me?"

"Nothing. You've been so calm."

It was true. Jasper and I seemed to have a handle on our subconscious and the madness that materialized while we were asleep. It was a relief to not have to worry about thrashing around and endangering the baby.

"That's good to know," he said getting up and coming over to me. He wrapped his arms around me from behind, gently caressing my flat stomach.

"I can't wait to see my baby bump."

"I can't wait to feel the baby move."

"You're gonna go crazy on baby stuff?"

"If you thought I was spending before…" He let it hang there and walked off laughing at me when I called after him.

"Jasper!"

We took a shower together and I tried my best not to stare at my hot boyfriend for too long. "Jasper, can I ask you something?"

"What's that?" he cocked an eyebrow at me with a smirk.

"Sex?"

"As long as it's safe," he answered immediately.

"Is that why you haven't tried anything since we found out?"

"I was waiting on the right time."

My body tingled at his words. Jasper wouldn't deny me anything. I edged closer, wrapping my arms around him, gliding my hand down to his cock, stroking it. "What if I said now is the right time?"

He turned in my arms with a smile and drew my lips to his.

Our joint shower got even better.

Dinner with Sue, Maria and Rose along Emmett was fun. It was all baby talk. Maria was joking around about being too young to be a grandma and Sue couldn't wait to walk the baby. Everyone had their role set for this little one's life. Like I said, my daughter, if my dreams were correct, would be more than loved. Jasper had to take a call during dinner. It was Jenks. My mother had gone to see Charlie again and this time she told him that she knew where I was. But Charlie didn't budge. He continued to pretend not to know where I was.

"She knows," I told Jasper while we sat in the library after dinner. "James knows where I am and he's probably told Renee so we should expect her when James gives her the go ahead."

Jasper sighed and got up, walking over to the bay window. When he turned back to me, his face was contorted in anger.

"I don't understand that woman," he said crossly. "How can she help him? How can she be so blind? If she comes down here, we'll deal with it. If we have to leave Henderson for the duration of your pregnancy we'll do that too."

Hell no! "We're not going to uproot your life because of my fucked up one. No!"

Jasper sighed, his face softening. "Baby, it's why Esme implemented that assignment about us packing one another's bags. But we've got our own, don't we?"

I nodded. "We packed those bags with the intent of staying together. Where I go, you go."

"Yes."

"But…"

"I'm not letting you go, baby," Jasper said. I headed over to him, burying my face into his chest, and listening to his pounding heart. "I'm also not going to let Renee endanger you or our baby."

"I should divorce James now."

"We should wait."

I looked up at him. "I'm going to talk to Edward."

Jasper smiled and kissed my nose. "You're so stubborn. Tanya and Edward are coming in tomorrow."

"I'll talk to him then."

By late afternoon the next day, Edward and I were locked in a meeting. We weighed my options pertaining safety for me and my child, Jasper, and all who I cared about, only to find out that what I was asking Edward to do proved Jasper right. And Edward was in agreement with Jasper, he didn't want me to take this stress on just now. We should wait.

"You're in what?" Edward said, relaxing back in Jasper's chair. We held our meeting in Jasper's office. "Your first trimester?"

"Yes."

"You're in the dangerous neck of the woods, Bella," he chuckled. "And I don't want Jasper chopping my balls off for getting you worked up over the proceedings. We will have to discuss things like what do you want…"

"I don't want anything from James," I said angrily. "I want my freedom. That's it."

"See? You're getting angry already," Edward sighed. "Let's wait a little."

"We have to do this before the baby is born."

Edward smiled. "I'm the best, Bella. We'll get it done."

I felt better after our talk. Jasper was waiting in the living room and I pouted that he'd won.

"It's not about winning," he said gently. "It's about what's best for you. I want him out of your life. I want my ring on your finger, but we're going to do this the right way."

"And that way is?"

"By taking our time."

He held a point. Why rush things? It would cause problems for me and my health. I had to trust Jasper. Whatever James was planning, Jasper would be ready.

"So what's the verdict?" Jasper asked as Edward walked into the room and nodded at us before leaving for lunch over at the main house. He and Tanya had to come down early seeing as Tanya was Rose's maid of honor, and she also wanted to keep a close eye on Alice.

"On the advice of my attorney, we're going to wait until I'm at least in the middle or to the end of my second trimester before we file for divorce. Edward even called Carlisle to confirm if I'd be out of danger by then. Edward considers first trimester to be trickier than the second. So we'll proceed then. But he plans to have me free of the Carter name before our baby is born."

"I love those odds."

The days ran smooth. Jasper stayed home while Carlisle, who was on leave from the hospital, worked at Jasper and Emmett's practice in Jasper's place. Days were spent with wedding planning going on around me and Jasper delivering muffins Nurse Althea had made for me when he went to town. I loved her muffins. Tanya had bought a ton of books for me to read and cute little clothes she couldn't resist that were up in Jasper and mine's room. Jasper's uncle was coming down for the wedding and we would talk then about the baby's room then.

Day by day things changing in my body, and while it was a little scary, I was mostly happy about it. I didn't see my new 'feelings' as I called them as a bad or annoying thing, I welcomed them.

Jasper said my mood swings were kicking in and it was his least favorite part of our pregnancy journey as he had dubbed it.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that I wanted to break his fingers if he tried to touch my breasts. What was I supposed to do? They felt tender all the time now.

He liked the sleeping. Jasper saw the amount of rest I was getting as a good thing. But it wasn't my favorite thing because I was a very active person during the days. Jasper said I wasn't experiencing as much fatigue as he thought I would have been, but every woman was different. It was possible that I wouldn't have to go through all the changes like other women did, as well as they could show up at a later time in the pregnancy.

The one thing that truly bothered me was not feeling utilized. I wanted to do something. Since I wasn't that tired, I wanted to get on my feet and do something. Jasper wasn't in total agreement with that, but one of my anger rants, shut him up about limiting my mobility. It wasn't like I was going to go riding. I knew Mystery and I couldn't go galloping any time soon. I just wanted to help with something.

So I started to hound Jasper on letting me do things around the house again. He had opted to do them himself or Sue got cleaning crew to come out more often. When I wasn't doing that, I was admiring my sexy boyfriend as he walked around doing chores when he was there. There was nothing like throwing things on the floor and watching Jasper bend over to pick them up for me. He had the hottest ass.

My dreams weren't bad either. Sometimes, I woke Jasper up to make love, or to suck his cock. He liked that one. He liked my mouth on him and I loved his mouth on me. I wanted him more than ever. I read that my sex drive was supposed to kick into high gear until around four months, but it was even present in our bedroom now, almost every other night.

I was having a particularly good dream. Jasper's head had just disappeared between my thighs and then I woke up, only to be pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't just a dream. My boyfriend's head had been between my thighs. He was gently nibbling on my clit and making my head spin in the process. I grabbed his curly blond locks and made him look at me.

"Jasper…" I breathed. "What are you doing?"

He kissed the tip of my clit and then my quivering inner thigh before answering, "You were moaning in your sleep, and saying my name, darlin'. A man can only stand so much."

He didn't wait for me to answer. He just went back to what he was doing while my head slammed back against the pillows with my body feeling like it was perched on the edge of a gratifying cliff with the promise of satisfaction looming below while Jasper's sensible tongue probed the inner depths of my pussy. His skilled hands sliding up the body to gently massage my sensitive breasts. He was so tender about it I almost didn't notice.

"God…Jasper…oh God…" I moaned while his mouth played me like a fucking fiddle. Jasper's mouth was a gift from God.

He answered my moans and pleas for more against my nether lips where he sucked, flicked my clit with his delightful tongue before pushing said tongue into my pussy.

"God…Jasper!"

He was driving me mad with sex. I was tethering on the edge of sensational insanity with an explosive, orgasmic end in sight. I tried to thrash, my grip his hair never loosening up, and groaned against his exquisite mouth while he worked me over as his moans drove me closer to my end.

"I need you…I need you, Jasper." I didn't want it to end like this. I wanted him inside of me.

He moved fast. One minute, he was between my thighs, and the next, he was hovering over me, and staring down at me with eyes as black as the ocean under the night sky.

"I love you," he whispered as he pushed into me, and I dragged him down into a kiss, moaning at the taste of myself on his lips.

We stole kisses while we sought the pleasure only the other could provide. He moved to sit up with me in his lap, bouncing me on his cock. Jasper was cautious. He felt so good. So deep. But he was moving in me with care, not wanting to hurt me in anyway. I loved this man. I could feel the difference but I wasn't left wanting.

"You feel so good!" I moaned against his lips.

"I love you so much, Bella!" he groaned, rolling his hips in a way that made me see stars. "I want you to cum with me. Cum with me, baby."

Our thrusts grew desperate and passionate until he stilled and I clenched around him, the both of coming while shouting our release and love for each other.

We lay down and stayed there until sleep took us. Jasper woke me up for a warm bath. We relaxed and joked around in the tub before I complained about turning into a prune and we climbed out. My life was wonderful. Every day I got to wake up beside this man was a dream come true. I no longer thought of this as some fucked up dream I was having while lying in a coma somewhere. This was real. Jasper was real.

We headed downstairs for breakfast with Tanya. Edward had already left. It was a late breakfast of toast, eggs (I had about three servings of that) and fruit along with a cup of tea. Jasper was being careful with the coffee and I had yet to persuade to let me have a cup.

"You do know it's not even the second trimester yet, and you're going crazy over us," I said as we walked over to the main house. Sue had called, but we were taking our time. The only thing Jasper cared about when it came to the wedding was showing up and being there for Rose and Emmett. The details weren't his thing.

"I'm supposed to do that," he countered with a grin. "I'm happy, you're healthy and our baby is growing every day. I'll wait on you, hand and foot, until you have this child if I have to."

The house came into the view. "You know, Alice is probably in there."

"Yeah, it's gonna kill me not to talk about the baby."

"It's just for a little while."

"I hate it."

"When the time is right," I said as we approached the side entryway to the kitchen. "There will be enough drama."

Walking into the house I realized I was righter than I thought. Maria looked like she was about jump on the French chef arguing with her. Sue was beside me informing me of what was going on. Sam was beside me and if looks could kill, the French guy would be dead on the floor right now.

There was another woman. Tall and beautiful with lengthy raven hair. She was arguing with the chef in French about his attitude. Sue was asking me to translate for her. Sam already understood. During one of our talks in Houston, I found out that he was trilingual.

"This would've been easier if you were to work with my wife," Sam said, indicating to the woman arguing with chef and stating that it was Emily. "I don't like this guy. And that little idiot is enjoying this argument way too much." He nodded his head in Alice's direction.

We looked over at Alice and saw her smirking while she eyed Jasper. I wanted to rip her eyes out.

"What the fuck is she looking at?" This was one of those mood swings Jasper was talking about. I don't know where the anger was coming from. But I wanted to rip Alice to pieces. "What does she think he is? A piece of meat?"

Sue and Sam turned their attention to me. Emily was walking over but I didn't care. I could feel my feet moving, edging me toward to Alice. Jasper saw me and broke away from the argument, letting Rose and Emmett, who had just walked in, take over.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Jasper asked me. I pulled him into a hard kiss, making him stagger when I let him go and then grinned when Alice huffed and looked away.

"Showing some people what's mine."

Jasper cocked a brow at me and smirked. It wasn't hard to see what he was thinking. But Emily interrupted to introduce herself. Rose's voice was raising and Emmett was getting angrier.

"What if I did it?" I suddenly said, stunning Jasper, Sue, Emily and Maria, who had just join us.

"You would?" Maria said almost pleadingly. "I swear I would pay you the same thing I was about to pay that idiot."

"Mom!" Jasper started, widening his eyes at her to emphasize his reason why I couldn't.

I ignored him. "Maria, I can do this. I just have to be careful. Extra careful."

Maria hugged me. Emily was willing to do it and I just found the perfect way to keep myself busy and get a one up on Alice and fuck up her silly plan. Sam was smirking and Jasper was worried. Sue was excited for me.

"Bella, are you sure?" Jasper asked with concern.

I gave him a quick kiss. "I'm sure. You're here and I'll be careful."

Emily smiled at me and left our company. She and Maria pulled Rose and Emmett aside and whispered something. Emmett's eyes lit up and Rose breathed an audibly sigh of relief before meeting her brother's eyes and he gave her his okay. She smiled at us.

Emily came back over to me to shake my hand and welcome me to the team. Alice stomped off and Sam was happy to escort the chef off the property.

"What did you just do?" Jasper chuckled.

I smiled and kissed his nose. "I just became Emily's sous chef."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next: Bella embarks on a new reality.<strong>_


	41. I Can Do This

_**AN: Bella gets down to business. Jasper and Bella argue. Alice shares news with friend, and James plots a new lesson. **_

_**Chapter forty: I Can Do This**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, March, 2011…<strong>_

* * *

><p>I left Jasper over at the main house and headed home. I felt a little tired, but mostly, I wanted to be alone. I needed a moment to think.<p>

Did I make the right decision? Should I take on this task? Will it be too stressful?

"Hey, where are you?" Jasper asked, waving his hand in front of my face, and honestly, if he hadn't done it, I wouldn't have known he was in house, much less in the same room as me.

I was seating on the bottom steps that led to upstairs, deep in thought.

"You still aren't saying anything, darlin'," Jasper smiled. He came and sat down beside me.

"I was out there for a minute," I chuckled while waving my hand around in the air to explain me being lost in thought. "I was thinking about a couple of things."

He chuckled and started listing what was on my mind like it was his own thoughts. "Is this the right thing to do? Are you nuts for taking this on? Are you going to be stressed by it?"

I laughed and shook my head at him. "Yeah, exactly! How did you know?"

Jasper took my hand in his, kissing the back of it. "I know you. So can I calm some of those thoughts for you?"

I nodded. "Please."

"I think it's crazy that you want to be sous chef right now, but I can't wait to see you succeed in it because I believe in you. As a precaution, I just spent the last couple of minutes warning Emily not to stress you out, so she'll be appointing two of her chefs to work with you, Liam and Siobhan. Even though things might get crazy, please remember that I'm here for you."

I looked at him long and hard, weighing the meaning his last words. "You're here for me." I sighed and smiled, because I knew I could trust Jasper's word. He would be here for me no matter what. I would be fine. I had a loving and caring partner who wouldn't let me spiral out of control.

"Bella, I'm here for whatever," Jasper vowed. "You can come to me for anything. I'll be your rational thought. I'll be your masseuse when your back or your feet hurt. I'll be here to listen to you rant if something pisses you off. And I'll keep Alice away from you."

The mention of her made me sick. She was going to be all over this. It was her way back into Jasper's life. Or so she thought. "You're going to protect me from your ex?" I teased with a grin. While Jasper didn't want me stressing about Alice, I didn't want him blowing his lid over her. He should be nothing but happy. Weddings should be happy occasions, and I know Jasper is happy for Rose and Emmett.

"You bet I am," he said proudly, puffing out his chest like a superhero and making me break out in guffaws.

Jasper continued to feed me words of encouragement until I started to share a few ideas with him. He liked them and thought we should call Emily and Rose over to the house.

When we did, Emily was impressed with what I was thinking, Rose was thrilled and my boyfriend couldn't be prouder of me.

The next morning started out great. I met Liam and Siobhan and had my first meeting with Emily's team. They were warm, welcoming, and very encouraging. They wanted me to pursue a career in catering.

From Emily's estimates, I realized the wedding was going to be huge. Although between Liam and Siobhan along with Emily, it sounded like a breeze. Liam said it would be a piece of cake for the team. He held up his fist for me to bump it and I did, making him laugh. Liam looked more like a male model than a chef. He was tall and slender with the prettiest green eyes I had ever seen. Siobhan was no different. She was equivalent to Liam in beauty. The only difference between them was that she had gray eyes. They seemed to be a little more than friends, but I didn't ask.

In the past, I would have been intimidated by their beauty. I would have felt like a troll in their presence, but not now. Not with Jasper in my life. Because of him, I loved me and I proudly think that I have a beauty of my own. Jasper has forced me to see and accept it.

I placed a protective hand over my flat tummy and smiled when I thought about him while Liam talked to me during Emily's rundown of Emmett's and Rose's tastes. I didn't really need to listen anyways. I knew their palates like the back of my hand. Emmett's taste stuck to comfort food, while Rose will experiment with cuisine.

"It'll be good, Bella," Liam whispered while Emily spoke.

"I know."

"Bella knows Rose and Emmett's taste," Siobhan said to Liam with a smile in my direction.

Liam's specialty was salads and sauces while Siobhan was exceptionally with desserts. Emily had given me a rundown on them before we met with the team.

We broke for lunch and Siobhan, Liam and I made lunch for one another. They raved over their lunch. And I complimented them on the salad and delectable dessert they made me. I left like I could eat that chocolate cake all day.

Tanya joined us, greeting Liam and Siobhan like old friends. Alice came around to snoop but Emily wasn't giving up anything and she got pissed and left with a scowl in my direction. I returned it because that bitch wasn't about to scare me. That would not happen again.

"Don't worry about her," Tanya said, bringing my attention to her. "I can't wait for the wedding."

"Why?"

"I'm gonna pour fondue down her dress."

Liam, Siobhan and I laughed. But something told me Tanya wasn't kidding. Even though the image of Alice in my head with fondue all over her dress was funny as shit.

"Jasper would want you to behave," I reminded her. "I don't think your aunt would appreciate you embarrassing them."

Tanya looked at me like I was crazy. "Bella, Maria would laugh her ass off at that!"

I kind of saw that happening too.

"Bella, the Whitlocks, especially Jasper and the ladies of this house are the coolest people you'll ever meet," Liam said. "They're the strangest rich people I know."

"What do you mean strange?"

Tanya chuckled at my question. She didn't seem bothered by Liam's description.

And he went on like it was nothing. "They're kind, nice and try the help with respect. You hardly get that anywhere. Maria sees everyone as people and she teaches her kids to do the same. Jasper treats us with dignity. He's always polite and jovial with us no matter what crowd or setting we're in. And you'll never find Rose or Tanya here trying us like shit, not even on a bad day."

"You're very lucky," Siobhan said sincerely. "Jasper really loves you. We've been working with the family for a while, and I gotta say, he looks at you like the sun rises and sets on your ass."

Lunch was pretty much the same with a ton of laughter. Tanya and Siobhan gossiped about Alice and former parties where she treated everyone like shit, and Siobhan shared the way they exacted revenge on Alice when Tanya got up and left.

Siobhan said we, the cooks, couldn't share all secrets with the employers. Then she went to tell me about what she did with Alice's lemon tart after a particular event when Alice treated her like shit. It made me cringe, but Liam reminded me of the golden rule.

"Don't fuck with the people that make your food."

While we spoke of the devil, she showed up in the kitchen. Liam and Siobhan quieted and I switched the conversation to Emily and one of her recipes. Siobhan caught on and smiled, "Emily's a great boss, Bella. You're gonna like working with her."

When Alice left the kitchen again, Liam gave her a middle finger behind her back. "Snooping spoiled brat," he chuckled darkly. "Don't let her intimidate you, Bella."

"I won't."

"Hey, if this works out for you, maybe Emily will take you on staff and you can travel with us, cooking and catering after you've had your baby."

My eyes widened in shock and Siobhan smacked his arm hard. "Liam, you shit! You can't say that crap around the little witch. Jasper and Bella aren't ready to tell everyone yet. Plus, Alice is after Jasper."

I was shocked but I wanted to know what they knew. "How much do you two know?"

They exchanged a cunning smile. "Enough to know that the Brandon chick is wasting her time," Liam told me.

"Jasper's over her. It's done. That guy's yours for as long as you'll have him, Bella," Siobhan added. "Now come on, let's get you familiar with the stuff we work with."

Siobhan and Liam and I chatted while going over equipment, technique and trading a few secrets. They told me about the juicy stuff they have learned while working for the rich folks as Liam liked to call them. I learned a lot about who to talk to, who was approachable and who to avoid.

I was surprised that it wasn't until early evening that I was going back home and I didn't feel tired. Today was a good day.

Jasper met me at the side door that led to the kitchen. "How was your day?"

"Sent Tanya to check up on me?"

"Yes," he said without one ounce of shame. "I was worried but I didn't want the Bella demon snapping at me for caring. I figured Tanya would have it easy."

"She did," I smiled smugly and chose to let the Bella demon comment slide.

Jasper laughed. "Come on, let's go eat."

He was heaven sent, and had made a mean casserole for an early dinner. I was starving and Jasper was more than willing to pack my plate with his delicious casserole. I couldn't stop eating. He was a proud of himself. "My babies love my cooking," he said, referring to me and the baby.

"We do," I smiled ruefully, taking his hand in mine and placing it on my stomach.

But things took a turn when Tanya and Edward came over. We were barely watching the movie on the screen. Tanya and I were talking instead of watching and Jasper and Edward were doing the same. Talks of James crept in, and Jasper dismissed it immediately and harshly. I felt unsettled about it, especially since I was answering Edward when he snapped. It was felt like I shouldn't talk and I didn't like how that felt. I don't know why I said it, but I brought up divorcing James from early again, and Jasper wasn't having it. It pushed him over the edge.

"Bella, we're not talking about this!" he snapped at me and it pissed me off.

"He's my burden! Mine! And I want to get rid of him. You're being unreasonable for fuck's sake!"

I didn't know why I was saying this to him. He really wasn't. He was being concerned about me and the baby and the stress the divorce proceedings would bring. But I couldn't stop.

"Aren't you worried about what others will think about your child's mother being another man's wife when they find out I'm pregnant?!"

Jasper's eyes were on fire then. Tanya tried to calm us down and Edward was trying to squash things but we weren't listening.

"I don't give a shit what anybody thinks, Bella!" Jasper screamed at me and I momentarily trembled. He was so powerful when he was angry. "I care about you and the baby!"

I hit him with that. "What am I baby factory? What? You care because I'm having your first born. How are you so sure I'm having your first kid with all the fun you had in college?"

When I heard Edward and Tanya's collective gasp and saw the hurt on Jasper's face, I knew I had gone too far. What the fuck was wrong with me? I hurt him.

He got up without an answer and before I could apologize, he walked out.

"I didn't mean that," I plopped down on the couch and said, tears springing from my eyes. "I went too far." I cried and Tanya and Edward consoled me.

I didn't see Jasper until the next morning. He didn't come to the bedroom. He left me alone. The next morning, Tanya told me that he slept on the couch downstairs and showered and snuck into the room for clothes while I slept. Then he left for work on the ranch. I didn't see him until late morning when I built up enough courage to seek him out and found him out in the stables, feeding Thunder and Mystery. Sam was by the doors and nodded at me with a smile and left us to talk when Jasper acknowledged me.

"Bella, I don't want to argue," Jasper said quietly, turning back to Mystery.

"I didn't come here for that."

"Then why are you here?"

"To say that I'm sorry."

He stopped and turned to me so I took it as an opportunity to tell him that all I said was bullshit. "I fucked up. I shouldn't have said those things to you. It was unfair of me to use your past against you and you're welcome to mine in retaliation. I said some dumb things. I'm fucked in the head," I chuckled nervously while the tears threatened to fall. "I'm sure you know that. So you can use it. You say things about James and me. I can take it."

Jasper sighed and came over to me. The tears had fallen and I was full blown crying by the time his arms were wrapped around me. I breathed him in, enjoying the way his mere scent calmed me. "I know you're mad at me, Jasper, and I'm so sorry!"

He held me while I cried. "Bella, I'm sorry too for pressuring you. I shouldn't have. I'll admit, it did hurt a little, when you asked if I was sure about you being the first to have a kid for me, but you had a point. I left because I needed to think."

"About possibly some other woman having a child by you?"

"Hell no!" Jasper chuckled and pulled away, looking deep into my eyes, willing me to see the truth of his words. "You are having my firstborn, Bella. But don't let me hear you insult yourself ever again. I won't stand for it. You're an amazingly strong person who's beautiful, both inside and out. I don't want to hear such shit fly out of your mouth again."

I looked up into his eyes and smiled at the stern expression on his face. He smiled back.

"I won't say it again, Jasper. I'm sorry."

He hugged me again, laughing. "We had our first real fight."

"Was it all you thought it would be?" I joked.

"You were scary," he laughed. "I'll try not to piss you off too much, ma'am."

I smacked his arm and giggled against his chest.

_**Alice, March, 2011..**_

"That bitch walks in, Vicky, and suddenly my chef is fired and Emily is making her work with her as a fucking sous chef!"

Vicky laughed. _"Oh, things in Henderson are heating up. What are you going to do about this Bella?" _

"I'm going to run her over with my car."

"_No, you're not,"_ Vicky scoffed. "_How are you going to get Jasper from behind bars?"_

"You're right," I said with a pout. "But this tramp just won't go away."

"_All things in due time, Alice." _

"What does that mean?"

"_It means that I'm going to help you get rid of this Bella,"_ Vicky said.

"You are?" I was so excited. "How?"

"_Well, you'll have to follow my rules no questions asked." _

"Done."

"_Good. When we're through with Jasper, he'll see her for what she is and come running back to you." _

"I can't wait!"

_**Victoria, March, 2011..**_

"How are you going to achieve that?" James asked, sitting across from me over lunch. We were at a little café when Alice called with her annoying yet juicy gossip about the country hick who won't return her affections because he's sleeping with James' slutty little slave, Bella.

"I have my ways," I smiled.

"And what will that entail?"

"Some planning."

"What do you know?" James asked.

"Jasper's sister is getting married and Be…Marie will be working on the head chef's team. Alice is pissed off about it."

James' face lit up. "That's good news."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "How so?"

"I think my plan is better than yours. All you have to do is make your little annoying friend do as I say."

"Why?"

"Because I want to send my Marie a message."

"What message is that?" What was James planning? I tingled all over from how devious he sounded.

"It's simple really. The message will be, there's nowhere to hide."

"You're going to hurt Whitlock?"

"I'm going to teach Marie a little lesson from afar."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next: Getting in the groove of things.<strong>_


	42. Rehearsal Dinner

_**AN: Bella comes to term with what she's about to embark on. **_

_**Chapter forty-one: Rehearsal Dinner.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, March, 2011..<strong>_

A throat cleared behind us, and I extracted myself from Jasper's arms to see who it was. Maria stood by the doors with her hands held up in surrender and a smile on her face.

"I know I'm intruding, but Emily needs Bella for a meeting, Jasper," she smiled at us.

I turned and looked into his smiling eyes. "I've gotta go."

"I'll miss you and I love you," he said, kissing me goodbye.

I blushed all the way to the main house and Maria had fun teasing me about it.

"How are you feeling otherwise?" she asked when we were almost there.

I stopped us, scoffed. Maria knew about last night. Her eyes said it. She knew about Jasper and mine's small fight. "Do I have to kill Tanya or Edward? Who told you?"

Maria laughed. "I love you how you are now, Bella. You're no longer that scared girl I met at the gas station. And you have my niece to kill for babbling. But in her defense, she was worried. She'd never seen you and Jasper fight before."

I sighed. Should I share this with his mom? Would Maria curse me for what I said to Jasper about his past?

She kept smiling at me like she knew something. "Stop your worrying. It doesn't help my grandbaby. I'm not angry about what was said. It's between you and Jasper. And just so you know with certainty, I can say that you are having his firstborn. I know my boy was a philanderer in college when it came to women, but I went behind him and check on things."

"Cleaned up messes you mean?" Did Jasper knock any of those girls in college up and then Maria cleaned things up?

"Actually, he and Edward were pretty levelheaded when it came to safety," Maria said with a cunning smile. "They're no babies out there bearing the names 'Whitlock' or 'Cullen' unless you and Tanya are having them."

"That's good to know."

"I take care of my family, Bella."

Maria didn't say anything else. But I didn't have to assume anything. Nor should I have put myself in the position to think about it. Fucking James! If I hadn't started talking about him, this doubt wouldn't have crept into my mind and I wouldn't have blown up and talked shit about Jasper's past. Esme and I would probably have to talk about this.

My meeting with Emily and the team went great. Liam and Siobhan were a riot. They kept us snickering through most of it. Until it was time to get down to business. Most of the meeting was brainstorming over what menus to go with. Rose and Emmett joined along with Maria.

We were given the details about what parties would be taking place and what would be expected.

"Nothing but the best," Maria emphasized. "I always work Emily and I'm a perfectionist, Something Emily understands. My daughter's wedding will be no different. I love working with you guys. But these snobs are not like me," We all chuckled. "So I want the best of the best."

More brainstorming ensued until I opened my big fat mouth with what turned out to be the perfect idea.

"What about something to nimble on and an Asian influenced menu for the rehearsal dinner?" Rose grew excited and Emmett looked like he wanted to kiss me. Emily nodded for me to go on. "We're working on all menus, right? Breakfast, lunch and dinner and with a request to be nothing but the best, we'll be bringing our 'A' game to the table."

Emily was all smiles. "What are you thinking, Bella?"

I looked at the rest of the team, who were encouraging me share my idea. "I'm going to need a lot of help from you guys."

"We're here, babydoll," Liam smiled and winked.

"I'm going just throw this out there and you guys are free to say no."

Jasper and Tanya along with Peter and Char stepped into the room. Alice was on the other side of the room with Jasper's aunt Carmen and uncle Eleazar. Sue was beaming at me like a proud mother. I had so much love in this room.

"Okay, I'm being guided by the bride's taste here," I smiled Rose and Emmett. "Emmett, I hope you'll like it."

"Tell me what you got," Emmett said with a grin.

"Three appetizers."

"Three?" Maria questioned.

"It's not enough?"

"No," Emily said. "That's actually a good idea. Let's hear them."

"I was thinking chicken kabobs, Chili scallops, which will be served with a small bowl of finely chopped chili for extra heat," I heard 'oohhs' and 'ahhs' and went on, "And the third appetizer can be Salt and Pepper Squid with a side of lemon wedges." Tanya squealed and clapped happily at the sound of that, making everyone laugh. With the exception of Alice of course.

"Those sound very good," Emily said and I sighed in relief and smiled.

"Thank you."

"What about the main entrée? Have you given it any thought?" she asked. Emily already had the bridal shower, Bachelor and Bachelorette party menus done. She had included my Special Occasion White Cake into the Bridal Shower.

"Yes I have."

"Let's hear them," Rose said happily. "Bella has yet to make something I don't like."

Alice visibly shook with anger at Rose's words.

"The main entrée would be Mustard Seed Chili Prawns, served with saffron rice, Chicken tikka with cucumber mint raita, and a Barbequed Duck and Noodle Stir-Fry, which is served with freshly chopped chili and coriander."

Mouths were hanging open while everyone stared at me.

"You have all of that in your head?" Siobhan asked in awe.

"Umm, yeah."

"I feel hungry just listening to you," Emmett said, making everyone laugh while Alice left the room.

"That's what we'll be serving," Emily concluded and we started to plan.

When our team meeting adjourned and Jasper dragged me away.

"Where are we going?" I asked as he pulled me toward his garage.

"Shopping and I got a call from someone who wants to speak with you."

I stopped him in his track. He could see the worry in my eyes, and he was quick to dismiss it. "I haven't heard anything. Jenks hasn't contacted me. Do you want me to call?"

"No," I sighed. "I'm feeling so excited right now. I don't want anything bringing me down."

_**Jasper, March, 2011..**_

"I won't let it," I told her. "We're going to see Zafrina and then we're going shopping. I want to spend some time with you before everything gets nuts."

Bella smiled and moved in close to kiss my cheek and then lips. "Let's go."

Getting her to town was easy. Zafrina was okay with her working with Emily and found it surprising that Bella wasn't experiencing as much symptoms as she thought Bella would be. Bella was approaching six weeks and I couldn't wait. Around this time and beyond, we could hear the fluttering of our baby's heartbeat. I was jumping up and down internally. I was happy, in love, and would one day marry Bella.

Bella was everything I didn't even know I was waiting on. Our little fight last night irked me, yes, but it wasn't enough to make me see things differently or question my past too much. Bella was having my firstborn and that was that. She was being irrational. It was the hormones and James. A bad combination for my little darling. I gave her some time to cool down. She came and found me the next morning before I could approach her and apologize for staying away.

"Where are you?"

My little angel's voice jarred me from my thoughts. "Thinking about the menu you have in store for us."

"Emily's food is going to be great," she said. "I'm going to be a blip on the radar."

I scoffed at her. "Fuck that. You're going to be sensational."

We were sitting in the car outside of the megamart entirely too long. "Let's get you inside."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Jasper, I'm fine. When you pulled to a stop, you looked like you needed to think so I gave you a moment. We haven't been sitting here too long." She got out of the truck and I followed.

"Okay," I sighed. "I just want…"

"I'm safe," Bella concluded, coming around the truck to wrap her arms around me. "I'm with you."

"I love you, sweetie."

"To moon and back?" she teased.

"To moon and back," I said, leaning in for a kiss which she returned with enough vigor to make me wish we weren't in a busy parking lot.

Shopping was fun. I gave her a ton of trouble which she secretly loved as she got to scold me and smack my arm all she wanted. I loved doing this for her. It was great to watch her in this element. She was always so happy. She stopped in the baby aisle to talk with a mom of three. Bella beamed at the baby in the lady's arms.

"She's so beautiful," she whispered to me.

I looked on at the mother smiling and talking to her child before whispering back to my girl with a kiss to her cheek, "That'll soon be you."

"I can't wait."

When we got home, it was to an excited Tanya and Char who were looking up baby names. Bella begged me to rescue her from them. I did, after I packed away the groceries.

The rest of my family would be arriving tomorrow. The wedding wasn't far off. That was good because there was something I wanted to do.

Laughter pulled me from my thoughts and I watched my mom and sister walk into my kitchen. "What's going on?"

"Tanya threw lemonade on Alice," Rose giggled.

"Aren't you supposed to be mad when people do crazy shit?"

Rose arched an eyebrow at me. I knew I was walking a fine line but I loved pissing off my baby sister. "Are you trying to say that I'm supposed to be a bridezilla?"

"Yeah!" I exclaimed and Mom gasped. "That's the term. Aren't you supposed to be that?"

"Go screw yourself," Rose said.

"Hmm, I don't need to."

"Okay, you two! Stop it, before this moves into weird sex jokes that make me want to get on my knees and pray for you two," Mom said.

Bella, Tanya and Char joined us in the kitchen. "Bella, bridezilla here said that Tanya poured lemonade on Alice."

Bella smacked Tanya's arm. "Are you crazy? Now that bitch will think Maria told you to do it because I told Jasper something to brainwash him."

"Or you just fucked his brain cells out," Rose said.

Bella's eyes bugged out and Mom groaned. "Here we go. Can't you two behave yourselves?"

"Horny much?" I asked Rose.

"No need to be," she beamed. "I can always sneak over to Emmett's."

Okay, we needed to stop this. I was getting a visual and I could taste my lunch. It wanted to come up. "Alright, you win."

Rose giggled. "Don't start what you can't finished, big brother."

"Oh, he can finish. He can finish just fine."

My mouth fell to the floor and Rose was too stunned to talk. Tanya and Char were clapping. And Mom said that Rose and me were a bad influence on Bella. My girl had a smirk on her face and I was damn proud.

When Rose could form words it was to accept defeat. "I can see that. You're pregnant for God sakes!"

We all burst out laughing. Tomorrow night's dinner could come soon enough.

I was a bundle of nerves. Everything had to go well. I didn't want any surprises visits or phone calls. It could all wait. I wanted my family to know about Bella and the baby.

She looked beautiful tonight with her hair done up with soft curls trailing down her back and her floral burgundy mini dress that fitted her perfectly. I wasn't too sure about the white heels, not for the style or color, but for the height, but Bella quickly told me that it was from her favorite designer, Louis Vuitton and I should suck it because she wasn't gonna taking them off until we got home.

I loved how she fiery was.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"I look good," she said cockily while giving herself the once over in the mirror. "I look sexy."

I walked up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist. "I can't wait to take this dress off."

"And rub my feet and sing me a lullaby so that I can get a good night's sleep?" she teased. Her sense of humor was at an all time high. And she was in love with pranks nowadays.

"Something along the line."

She grabbed my crotch, massaging it while she moaned suggestively. "Bella, my dick is not a toy. Let go."

She shook her head like petulant child. "No, it's my toy. I'll let go when I wanna."

Tanya was calling us downstairs while I was trying to remember why it was necessary to leave the house. Bella skimmed her lips along my jaw with slight moans that made my cock hard.

"You're lucky we have to leave, Whitlock."

She moved to let go and walk away but I pulled her back to me and kept her hand on my dick, letting her feel what she was doing to me. "Or else what?"

"That dick would be inside of me right now."

She was dead serious too. Not a smile on my little temptress's face.

"We'll see how the night goes."

She smirked and accepted my challenge. "We shall see."

Dinner was amazing and conversation filled the air. Tanya and Bella talked and laughed and I admired my girl with nothing but love and adoration. Mom knew the right time to make the toast that would start things off, and around the dessert, she clinked her glass in preparation to make said toast.

Bella had other ideas.

When Mom made her toast, saying how happy she was for her children and the entire family, she sneakily included my unborn baby, shocking the table. Everyone went silent and the room broke out in cheers and congratulations for Bella and me. My uncles stated how they knew I liked Bella when they were last Christmas. My aunts and cousins gushed over Bella.

But when she stood and took my hand in hers for support, I knew she was about to do something. Bella looked at my mother and Mom nodded for her to go on.

Bella squeezed my hand tight. "I'm thankful for all of you. I don't know some of you as well as I know others, but I look forward to being a part of your family." She sighed and I asked what was wrong. She told me she was fine.

"I came into this family because of Maria's mercy. She found me at a bad time in my life and rescued me. Jasper, well, he showed something that I never thought would have existed for me, love. You see, I have a dark past that is still unfortunately apart of my present. I'm married to a madman who spent six years raping me, beating me and making me feel like the lowest form of life."

They were gasps in the room. Some waited for Bella to go on and others shot questions at Mom and me. Bella wasn't fazed. She went on. "You are all amazing. I didn't love and unity in a family like this existed. I love you. All of you. And I'll fight for you with my last breath." She placed a hand on her stomach when she said this.

When Bella sat down beside me there wasn't a dry eye in the room and the hugs and well wishes were enormous. My uncles wanted to know what was being done about Bella's soon to be ex and when I was going to marry her. I told them about waiting until Bella can handle the divorce proceedings and she laughed and told them that we already fought about that and I won.

The night went on with more tears, laughter and questions.

At the end of the night while we lay in bed together, I asked her why she told.

"It was time," Bella said. "I wanted them to know. No more secrets. No more hiding."

"You do know your family's next, right? I'm going to have to tell Charlie I got his daughter pregnant."

"My dad's a cop, are you bulletproof?"

We laughed and decided to call Charlie as soon as possible.

**~~abt~~**

My sister's bridal shower was something to talk about according Tanya. It was a huge and lavish affair, which Tanya couldn't stop talking about.

"It was amazing, Jasper!"

She and Edward just walked in ahead of me with my tired girlfriend asleep in my arms. Edward had called me saying they were heading back to my house and Bella was asleep in the backseat. She had a long day.

"Shh, Tanya," I scolded. "You've been telling about the bridal shower since you got out of the damn car." My girlfriend mattered more right now. I had to get her upstairs.

Tanya scoffed, walking through the front door behind me and trailing me upstairs. "Rosie's shower was fantastic, but I'm talking about the food. Emily told me that she used some of the creations she and Bella came up with."

I stopped in front of our bedroom and told Tanya to open it. Once inside, I headed over to the bed and lowered Bella on it. She mumbled that she loved me and turned over. I took off her shoes and covered her with the duvet and left the room with Tanya.

"What do you mean?" If Bella stressed herself out about that shower, Rose and I were going have words.

"I see the look. Bella was fine, Jasper," Tanya said, rolling her eyes. "She wasn't alone. Liam and Siobhan stuck with her and Emily wasn't far off. She handled things. Maria was there for Bella too. We know how important this is for the two of you."

"I just want her and the baby to be safe," I said when we get to the bottom of the stairs. Edward was there to hand us both a beer.

"Bella is safe with you, man," he interjected. "All that's left to do is get rid of James."

"And Alice!" Tanya added.

I laughed. "I think the bastard that made Bella's life a fucking hell is far worse than Alice."

"Alice wants you and she thinks she should have you, stupid," Tanya said. "A woman like that spoiled little wretch will go miles to get what she wants."

"I can handle her."

"You better," Tanya warned. "Because if you hurt Bella, I'll kick your ass."

"And I'll help," Edward said.

"I kicked your ass before, Cullen. Don't make me do it again."

"I'll get Emmett to help," Tanya countered. "He loves Bella."

I gotta admit I haven't won a fight against Emmett since I was fifteen. He was fucking huge and scary when the fucker wanted to be.

"I can see you taking me seriously," Tanya said smugly.

I laughed.

We talked some more and then retired to bed. Bella was curled up around my pillow with a smile on her face and whispering my name.

"Jasper…mmm…love you."

She looked so cute. I took off my boots and shirt and then climbed into bed with her.

The next morning I had breakfast and a warm bath waiting for her.

She was all smiles when she woke up and saw me in her arms. She kissed my cheek. "Love you."

I had gotten up to get everything ready. Sue helped me out with the breakfast while I ran a soothing bath for her.

"I'll miss you today," she said as she moved to get up. There was a lot going on today in the kitchen for her.

"I'll miss you too," I said, watching her get up and stretch. Her body was so tempting. I wanted to pull her back into bed with me and make sure we didn't go anywhere for hours.

"I can see you thinking, Mr. Whitlock," she chuckled. "And it's a no. We're not doing that."

"Really?" I said huskily. "I think…no, I know I can convince you otherwise, darlin'."

Bella gave me a serious look. "I'm not messing this up, Jasper. I want to do this. I'm really good. You should've seen me."

"I heard all about it from Tanya and I'm so proud of you, baby." I got up and went to her, pulling her into a kiss amidst her protest that she had morning breath.

I pulled to remind her of something. "What did I say when we were in Houston?"

Bella smiled and ducked her head into my chest. "I'm beautiful no matter what."

"That's my girl. Now come on, I ran you a bath and breakfast will be waiting downstairs if Tanya and Edward haven't devoured it."

"You ran me a bath?" she said in the cutest voice, then she smacked my arm and looked at me with a pout. "Are you trying to say that I was funky last night?"

I laughed. "No, I'm trying to say that you need a relaxing bath before another hectic day starts."

"Have I told you how much I love you, Jasper?" she said, getting on her tip toes to kiss me.

"You can say a million times because I'll never tire of hearing it," I smiled at her.

"I love you, I love you," she said in-between kisses while I led her to the bathroom.

After our bath together and a little loving in the morning, Bella was ready for her day. We headed downstairs, withstood Edward and Tanya's teasing, and then Bella left for the main house. I took some calls about business and one from Jenks. Neither James nor Victoria has made any moves. Things looked good. If they stayed this way, then the months would fly by and we would get Bella at a safer place in her pregnancy and she could file for divorce from that bastard.

I wasn't going anywhere today. I wanted to stick around here and see how things were going. The wedding would be held here on the ranch so it was a blur of activity around here.

It was around lunch time and I had just made myself a sandwich and decided to watch some tv, when Bella came storming into the house. She slammed the front door so hard, I was almost convinced the house shook.

"That bitch!" she screamed. "I'm going to rip her hair out!"

I threw my food down on the coffee table and went to her. "Bella, what's wrong? What happened?"

She looked at me with fire in her eyes. She was pissed off. "What's wrong? What's wrong?! I'll tell you what's wrong. I'm going to rip Alice limb from limb. What is with that woman? What have I done to her? What is her fucking problem?! You said you were going to keep her from me." I couldn't get a chance to answer. Bella was going too fast. "Well, listen here, Jasper. You better protect her from me. I'm going to fuck her up if she tries that shit with me again!"

She ripped herself out of my arms and stalked off to the kitchen. There was loud rumblings and cupboard doors being slamming shut while Bella argued with herself.

Emily, Tanya and Rose came running in. They asked for Bella and I pointed to the kitchen. They ran there and then there was loud talking. Edward and Peter came to the door next, laughing their asses off.

"Alright, you two are cackling like a couple of old ladies," I said. "What the hell happened?"

"Alice needs to learn to stay out of Bella's way."

Liam and Siobhan were at the door next. Liam was laughing his ass off. "Where's Hellcat?" he asked and I pointed to the kitchen which my sister was exiting.

What the fuck was going on?

"Rose, what happened?"

She sighed and chuckled a little. "Bella doesn't mess around, that's what. Alice interfered with a dish she was making for Emmett and me with Emily's assistance and Alice decided to be a busybody."

Oh fuck! "What did she do?"

"When Bella and Emily were talking to Emmett and me about the dish, Alice tasted it and then commented that it wasn't good and threw salt in it. Bella was faster than we anticipated, but thankfully, Liam was close by and grabbed her before she could snatch Alice to her by her hair. We've got to keep them apart, Jasper."

I was seeing red when I stormed out of the house with Rose calling for me. I didn't stop until I got to the grand tents set up on the grounds. Our place was vast enough to hold about two or three of these with ease. I walked into the first tent and looked on in awe at the luxury setting. It was astonishing. It looked like a grand ballroom in here. Workers were everywhere, but I was looking for only one person and she was eavesdropping on Mom and Clara's conversation with a displeased look on her face. She didn't like whatever her mom and mine were talking about.

Clara spotted me first and smiled. Mom looked my way and indicated to herself, asking if I wanted to talk to her, but I shook my head no and pointed to Alice.

Alice lit up when she saw me. She put on this show of sauntering over to me, but standing here now, watching her act like this, I wondered what I ever saw in her. Alice was my opposite. How could I have thought that I would have been happy with her? Where I cared, she didn't. She was all about the money, jet setting and prestige and I was about what could be done and how I could help.

Maybe I foolishly thought she would eventually share my ideals. Maybe she would see giving and helping others as a good thing. Maybe it was because I knew our moms were friends and Clara was the nicest person you would ever meet.

But Alice didn't share my ideals and she was nothing like her mom. She was ruthless, spoiled and only cared about herself.

What did I see in Alice Brandon?

I couldn't answer my own question. Not anymore. It wasn't really necessary to. It was the past. Having Bella in my life woke me up from whatever dream I was having.

Alice stopped in front of me with what used to be a seductive smile and batted her eyelashes in a way that used to be appealing. "You want to see me?"

"Yes. Can we go somewhere and talk?"

She giggled and laced her arm in mine. "By all means!"

Momma shook her head and I sighed and led Alice out of the tent. I wasn't about to carry her anywhere secluded, so she could try anything with me. I wasn't in the damn mood. I was just out here to warn her off.

"What is it, Jazzy?"

I took my arm out of hers and stepped back. "Leave Bella alone. She knows what she's doing and doesn't need you bothering her."

Her face fell. "You're here to talk about _her_?"

Alice scoffed and rolled her eyes. "I thought you wanted to talk about us."

"I think I made myself perfectly clear at the Valentine's Fair."

"Oh, that?" she giggled. "I thought you were trying to impress your little plaything."

I chose to ignore that. Alice had this twisted way of thinking. It was the spoilt thing. Everything should be about her. "Why else would I want to talk to you, Alice?" I was trying to remain calm. "I already told you, it's over between us. There is nothing more to discuss. We want different things in life."

Alice's eyes flared and she seethed, "And your harlot can give you that?"

"She's not a harlot." The struggle to keep my temper in control wasn't working. I was quickly losing it.

"Oh, is that so?" she challenged.

"Yes it is! Stop bothering her!" I shouted.

Her glare faded and she started to fidget. "Fine," she mumbled after a minute.

"Good. I don't want a repeat of this morning. My sister's wedding will not become a pissing contest."

"Eww! A pissing contest?" Alice scrunched up her nose at my description. "Jazzy, that's sounds so awful."

"Don't call me that," I warned. I hated that nickname.

"But it's my nickname for you," Alice pouted.

"And I only used to let you use it because it made you happy and I thought we were in love and I should do whatever was necessary to keep you happy. Including letting you use that God awful name for me."

She stiffened and scoffed. "Now that we're over, I can't use my name for you anymore?"

"I also hated that demanding tone you always used. I'm not a child." I felt like telling her all the things I hated. It was okay to now.

Alice smirked and ran a hand down my chest. I jumped away.

"Don't do that."

"Why not?" Alice continued to smirk. "You can't forget me, Jazzy."

"The hell I can't!"

Alice's mouth fell open. She looked baffled. "You've changed. You're not the same."

"Yes, I've changed," I answered, hoping she realized how true her words were. "And we're over, Alice. Stay out of Bella's way or the next person you'll be dealing is Rose."

I turned and walked away without another word to her.

Bella wasn't in the mood to talk, but I made her. I reminded her to think about the baby and try to stay calm. She thanked me for going and talking to Alice. But warned me to keep her away from her and that she would be watching her.

The next morning was busy. Today was rehearsals. Rose was nuts and Emmett was trying his best. But bridezilla was on a rampage. Everything had to be perfect. I shook my head and laughed when Rose screamed at Alice. That was what she got for wanting to get in Rose's way. Rose could be a banshee when she wanted to be.

After yesterday's fiasco, Alice steered clear of Bella and the team. And that was fine by me.

Everything came together wonderfully. Rehearsals went well, and by the rehearsal dinner, I couldn't take my eyes off the sexy brunette as she stood in front of my table in this mini beige wrap dress with some black heels that looked like a cross between sandals and boots strapped to her sexy feet. I wanted to fuck her with those shoes on. She looked so hot! I felt like a drooling teenager while I sat here gawking at her. The mother of my child was the most beautiful woman here.

When Bella finished speaking to Emily, she came over to me. "You know I can feel your eyes burning through the back of my dress."

I leaned in close, whispering in her ear. "I wanna fuck you with those shoes on."

Bella kissed my cheek and whispered back in my ear. "See you after dinner."

Bella stayed busy for most of the night, but I had her by my side for dessert. After the dinner, we left together under Alice's watchful glares, and Bella didn't even bat an eyelash at her scowling face.

"How was everything?" she asked from her place under my arm as we walked home together.

"As delicious as you." I kissed her cheek and she giggled and ducked her face into my chest to probably hide her blush.

I kept my promise and fucked her with those shoes on when we got home. Then I took them off and massaged her feet until she fell asleep.


	43. A Phone Call and a Party

_**AN: Phone call and party. Charlie learns about Bella's pregnancy. Rose invites Bella to the bachelorette party and she has fun. Alice learns that Bella is pregnant.**_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter forty two: A phone call and a bachelorette party.<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Jasper, March, 2011…<strong>_

Time moved faster than we imagine. It was just yesterday I got a baby sister and I promised my mom and dad that I would love her and protect her always. Now, tomorrow she would be married. My little Rose was all grown up and about to go off into the world and have a family of her own.

Rose was the light of my world after she was born. She loved her big brother and worshiped the ground I walked on. But she also didn't take my shit. And I loved that.

Rose was strong. Stronger than I could ever imagine and I couldn't be prouder of her. She was my backbone. And sometimes it felt like she was the older sibling.

Mom used to say it was weird that we were born apart. Because we got along so well, we could be twins. I had agreed with her as time continued to fly by.

Then Rose grew up and boys liked her. She was beyond beautiful and my job as her big brother got harder. My friends looked for her too, but one was watching too closely.

Emmett and I got in a fight when he confessed his love for Rose six years ago. I tried to choke the life out of him after I jumped him right at the dinner table. It took a lot to get me off of him.

Rose and Mom thought I was being stupid. But I wasn't. Rose was my baby sister and always would be so. No man was good enough for her.

But Emmett was determined to change my tune. And he eventually did.

His devotion to my sister was uncanny. He forced me look back on our years together as friends and made me open my eyes to the love he held for Rose. Even when I wouldn't let myself see it, Emmett proven himself to be what was best for Rose. He got her. Her attitude, her determination, her stubbornness, her love for everything she cared about, he got it all. He loved her. Wholeheartedly. He listened to her. No matter what she was talking about. Emmett made it seem like the most important thing in the world. He would stop the world if he could to let my sister have her say. She could go to him for anything. They were friends. They were each other's love. They would be together forever, or else I would break Emmett's neck.

"Where are you?" Bella asked with a kiss to my cheek as she placed my breakfast in front of me.

"Thinking about when Em and when he told me that he was in love with Rose."

Bella smiled and sat down with her own plate. "What happened?"

"I tried to choke him to death."

She laughed. "Is that what'll happen when our little girl wants to date?"

I looked at her long and hard. Bella thought I was joking and kept laughing. "Our little girl isn't dating. She's staying our little girl forever."

"Our baby will grow into a beautiful woman," Bella mused, placing a hand on her stomach.

"You talk like you know it's a girl."

"I always dreamt a little girl with blonde hair like yours and eyes like mine, baby."

"That's what Garrett showed you too?"

"Too?"

"He showed me the same thing," I told her and then explained my dream.

"The little girl and me were playing?" she said tearfully. Anything ticked Bella's tears ducts off.

"Yeah, darlin'. He was adamant about being there for you and he also said that he was okay with me being with you."

"He is," she smiled. "He told me the same thing before cluing me in on the baby."

I got up and moved to her side of the table to kiss her. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The day itself would be a busy one for us both. Bella would be working on the food for Rose's bachelorette party and I was getting things done for Emmett's bachelor party. He wanted it simple. Just poker, drinks, snacks, jokes and fun. I doubt Edward and Peter would allow that. With them around, things were bound to get crazy. I knew Edward and Peter had gotten some strippers, but it didn't matter to me, I only wanted to see one woman naked. And she was enough. She had a natural beauty that brought me to my knees. Bella was sexy, smoldering, seductive, and sensual. I would spend days worshipping her body if she let me.

The guys came over with Emmett around lunch. We set up the poker table in the living room and moved a few things around. I missed Bella so I went over to the main house to check on her.

Liam and Siobhan had her laughing when I got there and it was music to my ears. She looked gorgeous, standing there by the stove stirring whatever sauce they were making. I greeted her partners in crime and they came up with some excuse and left for a little bit. I stayed, perched on one of the chairs, watching my girl.

When Bella couldn't stand the silence anymore she said, "Are you going to sit there all day watching me?"

I checked out her ass and smirked, "If it means I get to watch your ass in those jeans, then yes."

"You've been hanging out with Peter too much," she scolded but Bella loved it when I said things like this. Being wanted turned her on more than anything else. Well, that and seeing me naked.

"If it keeps you blushing like that, then I think I'll hang out with him some more."

"Get out of the kitchen and stop distracting me, Jasper," Bella said in a sing song voice.

"Not through checking you out, Bella," I sang back. Jane and Aunt Carmen walked in and giggled before they took some snacks and left.

Bella and I chuckled.

"Seriously though, Jasper, go. You're distracting me."

"Seriously, Bella, I'm not through checking out your ass."

She laughed. "You're a perv."

"Yeah, and I'm yours, so deal with it."

I left my seat and went over to her. Wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her into me. She chuckled and then sighed, leaning her body into mine. "I have to finish this, Jasper. I'm a little tired."

"So come home with me and get some rest."

"I will in a minute," she said with a yawn. "Now, go and let me finish so I can come home."

I turned her face to mine and captured her lips in a soft kiss. "I'll be waiting."

**~~abt~~**

_**Bella**_

"You've got your claws in deep."

I stopped stirring and rolled my eyes. Of course this would happen. Jasper just left so Alice had to pop up and bother me.

"Aren't you going to brag about your love life with my ex again?" she edged.

"You're finally admitting that he's your ex. Why should I correct you? You have it all figured out, Alice," I turned to her and said.

Liam and Siobhan walked in. I told them I was done for the day and they said they would finish up the rest. I told them I felt exhausted and apologized. They dismissed my apology and told me to go, I did great.

"Why are you tired?"

"That's none of your business," I snapped.

She ignored my anger and went on. "Well, as I said, I don't have things figured out when it comes to Jasper, bitch. If I did, he would be in my bed again and not yours."

"That's no fault of mine, Alice. And if you call me 'bitch' one more time, I'll claw your eyes out."

She took a step back and chuckled nervously. "I'll figure out your game soon, _Bella_."

"I'm not playing one, _Alice_."

She cackled loudly. "Oh really?"

"Yes, really."

Tanya walked into the kitchen then. Liam and Siobhan were looking on, and Tanya smirked with intrigue dancing in her eyes. "What's going on in here?"

Alice stiffened while Tanya smugly circled her.

"Everything is fine," I said. "Alice was just sharing her views with me, Tanya. Nothing to worry about."

"I wouldn't call you and Alice in the same room without going at each other's throat as fine," Tanya replied. She stopped in front of Alice, and Alice backed away. Tanya sneered at her, "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

Alice didn't say a word. She just scampered out of the room.

"What did the twerp want?"

"To figure out what kind of voodoo I'm working on Jasper."

"Well, that's simple. You're not a conniving bitch like her."

"That's what I'm worried about, Tanya."

"What do you mean?"

I sighed. "She wants Jasper back and she's desperate."

"It doesn't matter. She lost. Game over," Tanya said confidently.

I pushed down the worry and let Tanya's words wash over me. "You're right. I've got nothing to worry about."

Tanya walked me over to Jasper's and we spent that time chatting about what to wear and how crazy the guys' party was probably going to be. She told me Peter and Edward's plans. I asked if she wasn't worried about Edward and she said no.

When we got home, Jasper and the guys were talking. I said hi and went upstairs with Tanya. We picked out our dresses for the evening and Tanya loved my choice. I liked hers. When we started talking about the baby, she got crazy excited about the pregnancy and what we were going to do about clothes and so on. She wanted us to go shopping. I told her it wasn't always fun for me and she promised to make it fun. I was almost six weeks along and Tanya thought it was time to start getting the cute stuff she called it.

Jasper joined us some time later and rescued me. He told his cousin she had baby fever and she didn't deny it.

"I might. But mostly, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Tanya," I said and hugged her.

Jasper took me to our room. We lay down and talked until I fell asleep in his arms.

I awoke some time later to talking in the room. It was Rose and Tanya.

"What are you guys doing?" I noticed the dress in their hands. "Is that the wedding dress?"

"Yes, I got it," Rose smiled. "How does it look?"

"It's so beautiful." It was. The ballroom satin gown with embroidery would fit Rose perfectly.

"Alice must be pleased with herself," I scoffed.

Rose laughed. "Oh no, she isn't. She's pissed."

"Why?"

"This is Rose's design," Tanya told me. "Rose went behind Alice's back. She got information thanks to her mom and Clara and they worked with the designer personally to get the dress just the way Rose wanted it."

"Can you believe she had the audacity to try and make my dress the way she liked it?" Rose said in disbelief. "But it's all over now. I got my dress."

"Jasper was a little mad about me coming up here. He didn't want us to wake you up. You're cool though, right?" Rose asked.

"I'm fine. Your brother is overreacting," I smiled. "I'm glad you got your dress."

They stored the dress in the closet and left. I got up, still feeling a tired but better, and went downstairs in search of Jasper. He was in his office on the phone. I made to leave but he stopped me, telling me to stay.

He was telling the person that I was in front of him and smiling. Then he grew quiet and looked like a scolded kid. When he started saying 'yes sir' I figured out who he was talking to. He had told me Charlie scared him a little.

"She's right here, Sir." Charlie must have said something to him. Jasper couldn't stop nodding. It was a little funny. He was afraid of a man he has never met. "She's fine, Sir. Yes, she's healthy, Sir. She's doing great. Hold on." He stretched the phone to me.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Bells, congratulations," Charlie sighed.

"Thank you." I didn't have to guess why he said it. It was written all over Jasper's guilty face before he ran out of the office. "Jasper told you about the baby?"

"The boy is too happy to be on the phone with anyone," Charlie chuckled. "I'm surprised he didn't answer the phone with 'Hello, my girlfriend is pregnant.' I'm really happy for you, Bells."

"Thank you," I said, tearing up.

"Are you crying?" His voice was filled with so much care. I hated my mom for keeping us apart.

"A little. Everything makes me cry."

Charlie laughed and I could see the tall man with a gruff voice and a heavy set jaw, dark hair like mine, and a quiet demeanor from Jasper's pictures, lounging in his lazy boy in front of the television while he talked to me over the phone.

"Well, stay healthy and happy and let Jasper take care of you," he advised. "I think the boy will combust if you don't let him do that."

It was my turn to laugh. "Yeah, I know that."

Charlie and I ended up talking for what felt like hours. He told me about his life after Mom took me and left. I told him about life with her. We talked about the friends we still had and friends we had lost. I told him about Garrett and how in love I was with Jasper. I told him about my hopes and fears for my pregnancy and the baby and he was very supportive. He told me how thankful he was of Phil and his son for accepting me and he said that despite my mom's treachery, he has forgiven her. What mattered now was getting James out of our lives. And if my mother couldn't be supportive then she could stay out of it too.

I agreed with him.

I asked questions like why he called me 'Bells' and he explained why. I learned about his fishing trips with Billy Black. And that he was single and really looking. He was comfortable. I thought he was shy. I told him that Billy's son worked for the Whitlock's security team. And we laughed about that after he described Jake growing up this scrawny kid. He couldn't picture keeping him safe. I told him he was wrong. Jake was the one watching his back wherever he went. We laughed and talked until it was time to go. We wanted to see each other as soon as we could. I told him I would talk to Jasper and have it arranged.

"I love you, Bells."

"I love you too…Dad."

Jasper was in the living room. I ran up to him and jumped in his arms, laughing. "My dad's happy for us and he wants to see me!"

Jasper spun me around a little. "That's great! I'll work it out."

I was so happy, I made Jasper and me a light dinner and we chatted and exchanged small, sweet kisses through it. We cleared the table together, joked around while washing our dishes and then went upstairs and got ready.

"Baby, you can't wear that dress," Jasper groaned from his place on the bed behind me.

I fixed my earrings while smiling at him through the mirror. "Why?"

"Because you look entirely too sexy and I'm gonna want to break some necks. Those idiots will be lusting after you."

I ran a hand through my hair and went over to him. I pushed him back on the bed and crawled on top of him, leaning down to his ear. "I know about the strippers and I'll break some necks if anyone of them gets too frisky with what's mine."

He turned his face to mine and met my lips in a hot kiss. "What strippers?"

"I learned about it from Tanya."

He ran his hands up my thighs, under my dress and over my ass. "I won't touch a single one."

I kissed him, lingering and nibbling on his bottom lip while he pushed his erection into me. "Promise?"

"I promise."

"Well then I'll see what we can do about this…" I grinded against him, making him groan into my mouth, "later on." I got up, before he could protest and make me stay, to fix my dress. "But I've gotta go. Tanya's waiting for me."

"Oh come on!" Jasper yelled and I ran out of the bedroom, laughing.

Tanya met me at the top of the stairs in her strapless red mini dress, looking like something to die for. "What was that?"

"I left your cousin with a raging hard on."

"Oh Bella, I could've waited," she joked. "The poor thing. He's going to have blue balls all evening."

I looked into her mischievous eyes and laughed and she joined in. "Let's go!"

Rose's party was one for the history books. It was perfection throughout. Everyone was in high spirits while we enjoyed the food, talked and laughed as Rose got gifts after gifts. Alice was here, whispering to two cronies as Tanya labeled them. But I didn't care. Emily and I talked about food and travel and she gave me some insights into the catering profession. She was supportive of my decision to become a caterer.

Maria introduced me as her future daughter-in-law and Jasper and Rose's aunts took tons of pictures of us. Their cousins pulled me around the room to chat. Char and I sat down to nibble on a few snacks and talk about France and art. And Tanya made sex jokes. The night was fun. I was having fun.

"God, I love her dress," I heard some woman say behind me. Char raised her brows and mouthed that it was a great dress. I loved it from the first time I saw it. My dress was this nude pleated spaghetti strap mini which I paired with my Jimmy Choo sandals. Tanya had brought a lot of dresses with her, including my promised evening gown for the wedding.

"Oh please, Jasper probably bought the slut's clothes," another one said. These two were the idiots who came with Alice. "Alice said that she's some girl Jasper's mother got to seduce him because she knew Alice will throw her out flat on her ass when she marries Jasper."

"Bella, don't listen to them," Char said.

I chuckled and turned to them. "How does what Jasper wants matter to you?"

They looked shocked. One tried to babble her way out of the confrontation but the other was brave. "Because Alice said you're nothing but a slut," she sneered.

I laughed in her face. "Then I guess I'm Jasper's slut. And if you bitches come near him, I'll fuck you up. Have fun!"

Tanya and Rose overheard us. Rose made them leave. And Tanya laughed so hard I thought she would pee herself.

After that incident, I was pulled away by Esme and Carmen to talk. Maria joined us with Rose and Tanya and then the talk turned to the baby. I got some good advice about pregnancy cravings and the do's and don'ts of motherhood. Maria said she was ready to plan the baby shower for her first grandbaby.

"Can you imagine that around Christmas this year, I'll be an aunt," Rose said excitedly. "I can't wait to meet the baby."

We weren't paying attention to anyone but Alice was paying attention to us. She overheard our conversation and lost it. "What the fuck?!" Alice screeched at us.

The room fell silent and everyone started to stare, but Alice's eyes were glued on me. "You're pregnant?!"

No one answered, not even me. I didn't own her ass anything, much less an explanation. "It's not Jasper's. He wouldn't be that foolish."

Her mom stepped in. "Alice Brandon, you calm down right now!"

She snapped at her mom. "Oh shut up, you stupid bitch! This is what happens when you don't butt out. Jasper knocked up this…this…this slut."

I stepped forward and Maria blocked me. "Don't you dare talk to Clara like that, you little tramp! She's far better than you, you ungrateful piece of shit! Get out of here! My son has moved on and Bella loves him as he's always deserved to be loved. Yes, they're having a baby and I can't be happier for them. Now leave!"

"You did this!" Alice screamed at Maria, stepping closer to us. Her eyes snapped to me and they were crazy. But I wasn't scared. I was ready. I was about to rip into her when the guys showed up. Maria got distracted and I saw an opening. I was going to hurt this bitch.

Emmett and Peter were dragging Jasper into the room, complaining that he was pining away over me, and we should keep him with us. Jasper smiled at me. But the guys didn't realize what they had walked in on. Edward picked it up first.

"What is going on here?" he asked, looking around at all of us. Including his girlfriend, who was ready to pounce. None of us answered. And Alice was too dumb to realize her mistake until it was too late.

When she saw Jasper, she shrieked, "You! You did this! You got her pregnant. You fucked that bitch and got her pregnant!" and attacked him.

The room broke out in screams and shouts. Alice was on Jasper's back and I saw red. She grabbed his hair, pulling on it, and I wasn't having it. No one was watching me.

I moved fast. They didn't have time to stop me. I grabbed Alice by her hair and yanked her off of Jasper's back. She dropped to the ground and tried to kick me in the stomach. I grabbed her foot and kicked her in the stomach and jumped on top of her, slapping her in the face repeatedly before Jasper pulled me off. Alice made a move for me and Jasper grabbed her and then it took Emmett, Edward, Peter and Rose to get him to let go. She shouted threats while security took her out of the room and Jasper pulled me away.

It was a pandemonium of screaming and cursing as Jasper guided me from the house. When the dust settled, I learned from Tanya that Rose almost beat Alice into the ground when Jasper took me away. Emmett had his hands full. But the women in Jasper's family weren't through. They all wanted a piece of Alice. Sam then had his hands full.

I tried to apologize to Rose via Tanya's cell but she wasn't having it. "There's nothing to apologize for. She was wrong and she's gone. I don't want her anywhere near the wedding or reception. The social club is reinstating her mom as the president. Everything worked out."

"She's gone?"

"Hopefully for good, Bella," Rose said.

She was taking things easier than my boyfriend. He was mad. We talked through it. Especially about how angry he got and the fact that it took Emmett, Peter and Edward had to pull him away from Alice. I told him he was scary. He apologized and then begged me not to do anything like what I did again.

"Bella, as hot as it was seeing you fight over me," he said, trying to stay calm. "Please, baby, I'm begging you, don't do it again."

"I won't."

"I know you want to defend me, and I love you for that, but…"

"Jasper, I won't," I said meaningfully.

He sighed and pulled me into a hug. I returned it. "If she had done anything to hurt this baby, I would've destroyed her."

"I know."

He pulled back to kiss me, his eyes conveying the truth of his words. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you too."

We made love and before falling asleep in each other's arms, we talked about Rose's wedding. It was tomorrow and the hours couldn't fly by soon enough for Jasper. He wanted to get it over with so we could focus on the baby. He wanted us to our pregnancy.

"Our pregnancy?" I asked him with a yawn.

"Yeah, baby, we're in this together."

"I'm looking forward to it," I smiled up at him, kissing his cheek.

"Should we be worried about Alice and the wedding?"

"No," Jasper said with finality.

"If she knows what's good for her, she'll be smart and stay the fuck away."

"I hope so too."

"After we get Rose and Emmett off to enjoy their honeymoon, it'll be about you and me and our little one, baby," he said with a kiss to my forehead.

"I can't wait," I said as sleep took me.

Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.


	44. A Wedding and a Change of Heart

_**AN: Rose and Emmett get married, and then some. This is a multi pov chapter. **_

_**Chapter forty three: A Wedding and more…**_

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><p><em><strong>Alice, March, 2011… <strong>_

What Vicky wanted me to do was insane. There was no way this was going to work. I couldn't get to Jasper. Could I?

"Alice, it's simple. Just get to him and slip it in his drink," she said. "You're telling me you had the balls to cheat on him, but you can't drug him?"

"Well, it's just…"

"It's nothing!" she said a little too quickly. I wasn't sure why she wanted me to do this so badly. It was very suspicious. I don't know what happened between last night and this morning, but Vicky has changed. She used to be cool and unconcerned with me venting about Jasper and Bella. Now, it was all about me drugging Jasper and hurting Bella. I told her that I wouldn't be going anywhere near Bella, but she won't take no for an answer. She has been insistent since we got on the phone.

"Vicky, I can't do it."

"Why not?!" she shouted. "She stole Jasper. Don't you want to make her pay?"

"Yes, but not like this," I said. "When I attacked Jasper last night, I was mad. But I was also wrong. She attacked me for it and I can't say I completely wrong her."

"Are you stupid or something?" Vicky scoffed. "God, you and James are the same thing."

That was strange. Why would James and I be the same thing? "What are you talking about? You want me to teach Jasper a lesson, but what happens when he wakes up and realizes that I'm the one who hurt him. This plan is done. It got ruined last night, Vicky. I'm banned from the wedding, reception, the whole goddamn ranch!"

"There must be a way," she insisted and it was pissing me off. Didn't she hear me? There was no way. I wasn't about to go over to Jasper's and have him throw me out flat on my ass and I wasn't going to hurt him, drug him or whatever. It was done. He was right. We were through."

"He's right, Vicky," I resigned. "I have to learn to accept it. He's moved on. I probably won't believe it for a while, but it's the truth. Jasper is happy with Bella and they're going to have a baby."

"Don't remind me," Vicky sneered. "That's why you should stop being a dumbass and get over to Jasper's and slip him that cocktail I told you to make."

What was wrong with Vicky? What kind of friend was she? She didn't care about me. She just wanted me to do bad things.

"You did make it, didn't you? Please tell me you at least got one thing right."

"Yes, Vicky, I made it, but…"

"Good! Now get your ass over to Jasper's and use it on him," she chuckled. What was there to laugh about? She was telling me to go and drug Jasper. "Trust me, once you do that, they'll understand."

"What?" What the hell was Vicky talking about? "What will Jasper understand?"

"Do what I say and stop questioning me, you dummy!"

"Enough!" I yelled. "I'm through with you being rude to me. And you know what, that's it. I'm done. I don't want to talk to you ever again! I'm not doing it. I won't hurt Jasper! You stay away from me, Vicky! I'm not the stupid one. At least, I now know I'm fighting a lost cause and I'm throwing in the towel. What are you doing? You're pining away over James, who, by the sound of it, wants to get back together with his wife and once he gets her, he'll want nothing to do with you!"

I shouldn't have said that, but I wasn't about to take it back. She hurt my feelings and I was through with her and her bullshit schemes. I shouldn't have called her last night. But after that disastrous party where I learned of Jasper's betrayal and Bella being pregnant, and then the women of the family all wanting to kick my ass, I needed to vent and called Vicky. She was happy to learn about Bella's pregnancy. It was as if I told her she had won the lottery. But I was too distracted by my own anger to see that there was something in her voice. Something unnerving. When she got to planning, I was so pissed I went along with everything she said. I jumped around and got the necessary ingredients, and the cocktail was surprisingly easy to make. A few things from the medicine cabinet could do it.

Vicky said it would be painless. She said Jasper would be knocked out and that should give me enough time to have him to myself.

But that was last night. I didn't feel as vengeful this morning. I was sore as hell, at least my scalp was from Bella pulling on it, and Rose did a number on me. My mouth was heavy and I really wanted to avoid mirrors. I couldn't bear to see what damage had been done to my face. The women in Jasper's family were crazy.

"I'm going to make you wish you never said that to me," she said in a deadly calm tone. "Alice Brandon, you're going to pay for saying that to me."

"Whatever, Vicky. I'm through."

"You have no idea how right you are." She was too calm.

"I will not be threatened!"

"Yet, that's exactly what I'm doing," she chuckled evilly. "And when I see you, I'm going to have some fun. Just like I did with Bella. And when I'm through with you, I'm going to cut you up into little pieces, you bitch!"

"How…how do you know Bella?" How dumb am I? Why didn't I see it?

Vicky laughed. "I know Bella very, very well, Alice. Intimately well. She used to pretend she was tough too, until James broke her and then she became the perfect plaything. And when we come for her, I'm coming for you too. I think I'd love to see you two play together." She was moaning in my ear while I shivered like a leaf. I have never felt so afraid in my life. What was going on here?

"You can forget it!" I yelled and Vicky laughed at me. "You can't touch me!"

She ignored that. "Just so you know, I never had any intention of watching you and your country hick, Jasper, ride off into the sunset. That bastard is as good as dead."

"Jasper won't let you touch us!" Was I talking about Bella and me? Oh hell, who cares? This bitch was crazy.

Again, she ignored my threat. "Let me tell you a little story, Alice. Once upon a time, there was a girl named Bella…"

When I hung up the phone I ran to the bathroom and lost my stomach's contents in the toilet. Bella was James' wife. James and Vicky were deranged. What the fuck have I gotten myself into? They tortured Bella with sick games, beat her, and raped her. Oh my God. Oh my God. What have I done? Was this why? Oh no. I was so dumb. I was so blind. I still don't want to believe that Jasper loves Bella, but I understood him wanting to protect her from those sickos.

Oh no. What have I done? I have been talking to Vicky for a while. I told her a lot of things. Shit! How damaging has it been? I still didn't like Bella, but no one should have live through that.

It all made sense now! From how frail she looked when I first met her. To how healthy she got as time went on. Why Sam was always following her and Jasper around. He never did it as much when I was with Jasper. He was watching their backs.

A part of me wanted to blame Bella for bringing this danger into Jasper's life. While another side of me squashed it. Jasper was a grown man and if I was really going to let him go, I had to accept this. He was happy. He wanted to be with Bella. She wasn't working for Maria. They were all protecting her. His mom had a bad history with the man she was with before Jasper's dad. She must have realized what Bella was going through and jumped in to help.

Shit! I have to get to them. I have to warn them. But how?

I knew how. I just hope Jasper will let me say what I need to before he kicked me out.

With what I hoped was a good plan, I ran to my closet and got out a white pants suits and paired it with my Louis Vuitton heels. There was no need to look like shit even though I felt like it. Then I ran to the shower.

I had to do this. It was my way of saying 'I'm sorry' to Jasper.

When I got dressed, I hesitated, seeing the cocktail on my desk. Should I? Yes. I walked over and grabbed it. I needed it to explain. I knew he would hate me even more. It was oddly painful to beware of how everyone truly feels about you when you weren't deluding yourself into thinking that everyone loved you, and this shit hurt. But I had to do it. I was making things right.

I ran to the garage and smiled at the Porsche Jasper had bought me. I jumped in and started the car, took a deep breath and drove out.

I could do this. I was going to pull my head out of my ass and help. Rome wasn't built in a day but this was a damn good start.

_**Vicky, March, 2011…**_

"What an idiot!" I slammed the phone down and got up to pace the room.

"What happened?" James asked. He was eyeing me intently. I thought he would have blown up at me for threatening Alice, but he was oddly calm.

"You're not going to like this."

"What happened?"

"Alice won't give Jasper the cocktail. I think she changed her dumb mind and she's going to warn Jasper."

James chuckled. "There's something you're not saying. Why the change of heart in Alice?"

I gulped because he was going to lose it when I told him. I didn't say anything last night after I spoke to Alice, but oh well, here goes. "Be…Marie is pregnant."

James looked at me long and hard. His eyes were like fire and then he lost it. He screamed and shouted all the things he was going to do to Jasper when he got his hands on him. He broke things and screamed some more. His angry was usually a turn on, but not anymore. Something has changed in him. He was darker. Scarier. He worried me. A part of me knew that Alice was right, but I refused to accept it. James didn't love Bella as much as he loved me.

But still, he worried me.

"James, we have to think up something," I said with trepidation. He looked crazy. He wasn't my James right now. He was something else. Something way too sinister to be fun.

He looked at me like I was stupid and then broke out in a smile. "I'm going to disappear for a while."

He walked out of the room with his phone at his ear.

How the hell was he going to disappear when we were being watched? Wouldn't that cause trouble for him? But why was I worried? James went down to hick town, and Bella didn't see him. He got close and they didn't suspect a thing.

Oh Bella. She was so dumb. She and Alice could be sisters. The only smart thing Bella ever did was run away. She made the game more fun for me. I couldn't wait to get my hands on her. Too bad she wasn't going to be sticking around after that. It would be James and me like it was supposed to be.

People had accidents all the time. I smiled at my own devious thoughts while James yelled at Laurent over the phone. "Oh, Bella, once James rips that baby out of you, we're going to have so much fun."

_**James, March, 2011…**_

"Laurent, I need to disappear! I don't want excuses and fuck that country hick! I wanna disappear!"

"Calm down, James, we've got things in a good place right now," he reasoned. "They're watching but they're not getting anything. You've been playing it cool and things have been great. They've still got guards on Marie but I'm sure if you continue to play it cool, you can grab her in no time."

"That son of a bitch got her pregnant!" I yelled.

"Oh shit."

"Yes, oh shit. Not only did the bastard trick her, he knocked her up." I felt sick to my stomach to even say that. Whitlock tricked my Marie into bed and planted his insipid seed inside her. My precious Marie's body was now poisoned!"

"We've got to stay calm," Laurent said.

"Stay calm? No! We're doing this my way!"

With that, I told him my plan. Starting with that little bitch, Alice. She was going to pay dearly for not listening. Marie, well, she would be saved for last. I was going to rip that demon out of her. And Jasper was going to die a million times. Yes, I had it all worked out.

"I don't get it," Laurent said confusedly. "Why disappear for a while? Don't you have a doctor's convention coming up?"

"Yes, and I'm hoping that bastard attends. But that's in a few weeks so this will work perfectly."

"You're letting them think you're giving up?"

"In a sense, yes. I'm going to keep going until I feel like stopping. Marie will freak. I know she will. The longer I take to go for her, the more scared she'll become. I trained her, Laurent. I know her like the back of my hand. I want those idiots to think they're winning and then I'll give them the surprise of a lifetime. And when I'm through, Marie will be home where she belonged."

_**Bella, March, 2011...**_

Today was going to be perfect. It started out as a great morning despite my first bout of morning sickness, but Jasper was the sweetest thing. When I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, he was right behind me, holding my hair back. Then he was an overprotective papa bear telling everyone to back off until I was okay.

When I felt good enough to work, Tanya escorted me over to the main house. There were last minute preparations and I think the excitement cured my nausea. Just jumping around with Emily, Liam and Siobhan along with the team to get things ready was a blessing on my stomach. Not even the smell of prepared food bothered me like I thought they would. I was too happy to let them. I was in total control.

Liam and Siobhan sat me down so I could give them blow by blow about what happened last night and the altercation with Alice.

"That's what she gets," Liam cheered. "I hope she stays away."

"Me too," Siobhan added.

Around noon, Tanya and I headed over to Jasper's. It was time to get ready. When we stepped outside and started our trek from the main house, I took a deep breath and sighed.

"What is it?" Tanya chuckled.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been smiling since this morning despite being sick."

"I don't know. I just feel happy." And I did. I was extremely happy. It was a sunny afternoon, but it was cool. The wind was gentle and there wasn't a dark cloud in the sky. It was crystal blue like Jasper's eyes.

The thought of him made me smile wider.

"Okay, what are you thinking about now?" Tanya asked. "You're beaming!"

"I'm thinking about how great today is and how much I love Jasper."

Tanya threw her arm over my shoulder. "I'm so happy for you two. Words can't begin to express. I'm glad the Alice fiasco is over. You handled yourself well."

"I promised Jasper I wouldn't do anything like that again."

"No worries, Bella. I'll gladly whup anybody's ass for ya!"

We laughed the rest of the way over to Jasper's.

He was right at the front door, waiting to greet me. Tanya laughed and told me to meet her upstairs when I was through.

Jasper backed me up into the door with gentle kisses that ran from my mouth to my neck. "I missed you," he said, nuzzling my neck.

"I missed you too." It felt too good. I didn't want him to stop, but he did.

When he pulled away, his eyes were dark and saying exactly what my body needed. I wanted him too. But he sighed, "We can't."

I pouted. It seemed to work on Jasper most times. Except for now. "Bella, you're not being fair. We can't."

"I know," I sighed.

"Later?"

I pulled my sexy cowboy with the piercing blue eyes, tatted body, and taut muscles back to my lips. "Definitely."

We parted and Jasper pulled me to the dining room for lunch. I got an eyeful of his ass while he walked ahead of me. He didn't say anything besides telling me he knew what I was checking him out and smirked before going for my lunch.

God, that smirk did things to me. My mind quickly started conjuring up images of what I wanted to do to him while he came back to the table with my food. I boldly told him that he was a walking temptation who looked entirely too good in jeans and t-shirts. Hell, anything he wore looked sexy on him.

"If you expect me to apologize for checking you out, you can forget it," I said defiantly, making Jasper laugh.

"I wasn't going to chastise you for it. It's nice to be wanted. I especially love being wanted by you."

After lunch, we parted ways to get ready. The wedding was at two pm, and we only had about an hour and a half left.

Tanya and I were ready an hour later. And I was in love with my strapless gray and lavender gown. I wore the pendant Jasper left to go with the dress and I brought along the pair of black ballet flats for working and easing Jasper's mind he left in Tanya's room for me. Jasper thought they would be safer and less stressful to work in than the heels. I obliged him. I loved his concern.

"Are you ready?" Tanya asked.

I looked at myself one more time in the mirror and then I was out the door with Tanya. "Yeah, let's go."

_**Jasper, March, 2011…**_

Emmett and Edward were talking to me but all I could envision was how beautiful Bella today. I saw the dress she was going to wear, and I think the white gold pendant I got for her would go really well with the gown and I hope she brought the ballet flats so she could have something to walk around in if Emily needed her assistance.

"Hey!" I jumped at the sound of Emmett's booming laughter. "Where are you, man? I'm the one who's supposed to be nervous here."

"What do you have to be nervous about?" I cocked eyebrow at him. He better not be getting cold feet. I would kick his ass. "You're marrying my sister, and you've been saying for years that she's the best thing that ever happened to you."

"I know that," Emmett laughed. "And Rosie is. I was talking about you. You look like you're a million miles away."

"Thinking about how great Bella is going to look in her dress and wondering if she brought the flat shoes I left her."

"Quit hovering," Edward warned. "She's going to kick your ass next if you don't stop babying her."

"Bella likes it," I boasted.

"For now," Edward and Emmett said.

"What will Bella like, besides kicking Alice's ass?" Peter asked, walking into the room while fixing his tie.

Edward had to answer. Nosy bastard. "Bella's going to kick Jasper's ass soon if he doesn't stop hovering. Care to place a wager on it?"

"Nah, I'd win easy," Peter said. "Jasper's got a doctor's convention coming up in a few weeks and he won't want to go. But I'm betting Bella will make him, because she doesn't want him to stop his life because of her."

My mouth fell open. I forgot about the convention. Last year, I was keen on going to this year's convention, but not so much anymore. There were far more important things happening in my life.

"Bella and I will discuss it." I was sure I could make her understand my wanting to stay home with her.

"And she'll freak out and think you're doing this because of her," Peter said. "She'll take it the wrong way."

"We'll talk about it," I countered.

The other guys were laughing and Peter was smirking. "We'll see," he said.

I left them and headed over to the main house. We had gotten dressed at my place. Bella didn't know. I loved hearing her laughter while she and Tanya talked. I wasn't being nosy, I just missed her. I loved her.

I ran up the stairs and stopped at my destination. I patted my pocket and then knocked on the door. A couple of voices yelled for me to come in and I opened the door to the vision that was my sister standing among the ladies in her wedding dress.

"You look gorgeous," I told her and Rose had to be Rose. Straight to the point and demanding.

"Don't you dare make me cry, Jasper," she said strongly. "We worked forever on my makeup. If you ruin it, I'll mess you up."

The ladies giggled. Mom was standing off to the side with a proud mama bear look on her face. She looked beautiful in her crème gown. I winked at her and Rose asked what this was about.

"What did you two do?"

"I wanted to get something for the bride and Momma and I came up with the perfect things."

Rose nodded and I went on, "I wanted to go with that whole something old, something borrowed, something new, something blue thing."

The ladies laughed.

Rose smiled. "So what did you two do?"

I pulled my present from my pocket and Mom opened her clutch purse. "While I went with the something new, Momma took on the other three."

"Old, borrowed and blue," Rose said. I nodded and opened the black velvety box in front of her. "Oh Jasper, it's so beautiful!"

"It's not as beautiful as you, little sis, but it'll have to do." I handed her the pair of diamond earrings I had gotten her. I had the earrings and Bella's pendant picked up from my favorite jeweler in Houston. He knew my taste.

"While Jasper took the easy route," Momma laughed. "I wanted you to honor our family by wearing the family's heirloom, your great grandmother's blue diamond wreath necklace."

I left soon after that with Rose blaming me for her tears. I laughed and told her I loved her. She gave me the middle finger, making me laugh. Momma and I would be walking her down the aisle in place of Dad. He would have been happy today.

Sue met me at the bottom of the stairs. I walked her over to the wedding tent and found my beautiful girl talking with Esme and Carlisle. She was smiling radiantly and would occasionally touch her stomach.

"Happy for your sister and best friend?" Sue asked me.

"I am," I said while smiling as I saw Bella laugh at something Carlisle said to her.

Sue laughed. "Considering you wanted to choke the life out of Emmett when he confessed to you how he felt about your sister."

I chuckled. "Yeah, considering."

"Go on over there and say hi," Sue said.

I turned to her and smiled. "What makes you think…"

"Oh please, you began searching the crowd as soon as we came in here," Sue laughed. "I love what Bella has done to you, Jasper."

"I love it too."

"Head over there quickly!" Sue urged. "The wedding is about to start."

I kissed her cheek and followed her advice, heading to Bella. Esme saw me coming. She smiled and said something to Bella, making her turn to me, and I was lost in the beauty of her. She looked radiant. My heart thumped with happiness when I walked up and took her hand in mine.

"You look ravishing," I leaned in and whispered to her.

She laughed softly. "Promises. Promises, Mr. Whitlock."

God, that went straight to my cock. This woman was going to kill me. I pulled back and smirked at her, "I'll see what I can do about fulfilling them later."

Bella shivered slightly and smiled at me. I followed Bella to her seat. She was sitting with Esme and Carlisle.

Gentle music began to fill the tent and guests started to take their seats. "I'll see you after the wedding."

"I love you," Bella said with a kiss.

"I love you too."

I left her and went to the curtained entrance of the tent where Rose and her bridesmaids stood. Momma was already by her side and I took my place on the opposite one. The ladies began to walk in, and soon, it was the bride's turn. The wedding march began and three of us stepped forward. I found Bella in the crowd and smiled at her.

Rose whispered, "Soon, it'll be her turn. I can't wait to see your face as she walks to you."

I turned and kissed my sister's cheek. "I can't wait for that too. I love you, little sis."

"I love you, Jasper."

**~~abt~~**

Emmett and Rose's wedding was quite the event. He openly cried while she said her vows to him, and Rose grabbed him and kissed him before the minister could even finish talking. We applauded their antics. My best friend and sister were going to have a great life together.

I lost Bella in the crowd, but vowed to find her after the wedding party posed for pictures. Sam wasn't far away, so she was safe. After pictures, Tanya and I walked arm in arm to the reception tent. Edward stole her away and I went in search of Bella, finding her over by the food section. It was a pleasure standing aside and watching her for a while.

When I saw an opening, I snuck up behind her and snaked my arms around her waist and kissing her neck. She sighed and relaxed against me. "Hi," I whispered in her ear.

"Hi," she said before turning in my arms to kiss me.

I didn't leave for a while and Bella continued working around me. I noticed she was wearing the ballet shoes and I smiled. I tried to steal an appetizer, but she would smack my hand away. "You'll get it soon."

I whispered huskily in her ear. "Get what soon?"

The double meaning wasn't lost on her. She cocked an eyebrow at me and smiled, "The food, Jasper. Everything else will have to wait."

"For how long?" I liked where this argument was going.

"A little later," she sighed and used her butt to push me away.

I laughed and let her go. Emily walked by, giggling and shaking her head at me.

"Go to the wedding table," Bella ordered pointedly.

"Yes, Ma'am."

She smiled and rolled her eyes at me, mouthing 'I love you.'

"I love you too," I said to her. "Save me a dance."

"I will," she said and then shooed me away. "Now go."

Peter and I had fun at the wedding table. He had been one of the groomsmen and we were determined to cut loose and have some fun. Peter snuck a bottle of Jack from the bar, and Edward, myself, Peter and sometimes Emmett were having fun taking a couple of shots. Things were bound to get crazy.

Dinner was exquisite and dessert was heavenly. Emily along with Bella and the team had outdone themselves. I got a few dances with my girl. As did Peter, Liam, Emmett, Carlisle and Edward. She also danced among a group of girls including my sister and Tanya. She was having a lot of fun.

The cake cutting was a joke. Rose smashed the cake on Emmett's face, and he grabbed her and kissed her to get it on hers. Rose laughed it off. She was really happy. Usually, she would have bit Emmett's head off for that.

Rose threw her bouquet and Tanya caught it. Peter caught the garter and did a dance for Char before he put it on her leg.

Things were winding down and I had a good buzz going but Bella wasn't looking too good. We were dancing and I could feel her relaxing against me. She seemed sleepy.

"Baby, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I guess the day's finally catching up with me."

"You should be lying down."

I didn't wait for her to say anything else. I put her to sit in a chair close to us and went in search of Carlisle. Sam found me first. We went back to Bella, but she was objective about me following her home. She told me to stay and see Rose and Emmett off since she couldn't. I told her I would stay a few minutes and then I was coming home. It wasn't want she wanted but she compromised.

Sam took her home for me and I stayed just to tell Mom and Rose that I was heading home because Bella wasn't feeling well. They agreed that I should go.

I grabbed a bottle of water on my way home and gulped it down. I had to be ready for anything. Bella needed her rest and I needed to be there for her. I saw Sam out front and he wasn't too happy. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me to head inside. It wasn't dangerous, but I wouldn't be pleased. Sam was right. When I walked into the house, what greeted me left me both stunned and angry.

"What the hell are you doing here, Alice?"

Bella looked right at me and said, "We have to help her."

What the hell?


	45. A Little More Than a Wedding

_**AN: Alice's confession. **_

_**Chapter forty four: And more…**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, March, 2011… <strong>_

"You know, Sam, I can walk." As soon as we left the tent, Sam lifted me up in his arms and started carrying me.

"I know, but I think I'll get a bonus this month just carrying you," Sam said with a grin. "And Jasper wants you to get home safely."

I laughed because I couldn't think of anything else to do. "You're both crazy, you know that? I'm just tired and need a little rest. Then I'll be as good as new." The house came into view. "Alright, Sam, seriously, put me down. I can walk from here."

He chuckled deeply. "I don't think so, Bella. Bonus, remember?"

I laughed again and left him alone.

Sam carried me all the way home and up the steps that led to the front door. He put me then and I opened the door and walked in only to stop short when she got up from the couch. I couldn't believe she was here. How did she get in? My anger was rising and if Alice wanted a repeat of last night, I was going to beat her into the ground. I wasn't in the mood for nonsense.

She was about to say something to me but it was too late. I had already stomped over to her and had her by the throat. I spun us around and slammed her back into the wall.

"What are you doing here?!" I shouted. Sam was saying something to me but I wasn't listening. Alice was trying to move or talk, but I just slammed her into the wall again. Sam's voice came through my haze of anger.

"Bella, calm down," he said, trying to get me to let go of Alice's throat. But I practically growled at him. I have had enough of this woman.

"Fuck that!" I shouted at Sam and then asked Alice, "What are you doing here?!"

"Need…to…talk…" Alice struggled to get out. "You…Jasper…me…danger!"

"What?" I loosened my hold a little.

"James…he hates me…Vicky's going to kill me. She wants me and you to play then she's gonna kill me."

No. This wasn't happening. Today was a good day. No. James wasn't going to ruin it.

I let Sam pull me away. I walked away from them both and collapsed on the couch. Alice fell to her knees, coughing. Sam was about to drag her outside, but I stopped him.

"Wait, Sam!"

"She should leave," he insisted.

Alice was looking between us. "I need to talk to them. I need to say this and then run. I can't let myself get caught up in this. I'm deep enough as it is." She coughed all the way through saying that.

I got up and went for two bottles of water. We would need them. When I came back, I told Sam to wait outside. He didn't want to, but it wouldn't be for long. I was sure Jasper heading home. I wanted him to prep Jasper, so I told Sam he could come back inside when Jasper got here. Sam agreed then.

Alice didn't want to be alone with me. But she had no choice. I opened the water and handed it to her. She gulped it down. I opened mine and took a few sips. "I shouldn't be here. I should be hiding."

"Why?"

"Why what?" she asked me.

"Why did you help them? I wasn't messing around," I told her even though I didn't have to. "I wasn't playing with Jasper's life. I hadn't met him until Maria brought me home with her. I didn't ask to stay. They compelled me to, but I'm so thankful they did. I can't let James hurt them. I can't, Alice."

She was eyeing me with anger and trepidation mixed into one. "Then why didn't you leave sooner?" she whispered. "Before Jasper fell in love with you. It should be me."

"At least you would've been safer."

She laughed. "Yeah, but I'm not a Betty Crocker homemaker type, Bella. I don't want the situation you're stuck in."

I bristled. "My baby is not a situation, Alice."

"I'm sorry," she quickly apologized. "I'm not here for that. I'm not here to argue. I'm here to ask the impossible of Jasper. I'm here to beg him to help me."

"Where did you meet Vicky and how much has she told you?"

Alice shuddered. "Everything."

"Oh."

"Yeah, and I met her at a fashion show, and we hit it off. But I didn't know…"

She was about to say more when the door slapped open and Jasper stormed in. His eyes zoomed in on Alice and they were angry.

"What the hell are you doing here, Alice?" Jasper asked roughly.

She couldn't speak. She just stared at Jasper. I spoke for us both, "We need to help her."

Jasper's eyes snapped to mine, disbelief swirling in the midst of the anger playing them. "Why the hell would we do that? Are you forgetting what happened last night?"

"No. But things have changed."

"How so?" Jasper asked me.

"Vicky and James," Alice jumped in and said.

"I'm talking to Bella!" he snapped at her.

"You've got to calm down," I said to him.

"Tell me what happened."

"Alice has unknowingly, until today, been corresponding with Vicky and James." Jasper bristled. Sam looked at Alice like he wanted to kill her. Jasper nodded for me to go on, "I think I know what they did."

"What did they do?" Sam asked.

"They wanted to get close in order to make a move," I said. "No doubt since she told Vicky my name, Vicky has been giving her 'ideas' as to how to deal with me being with Jasper. But I think Alice is here because they wanted her to take a step further."

By the time I stopped talking, Alice was staring at me in shock. "Are you psychic?"

"No. I know Vicky and James."

Alice looked at me long and hard and then she got her purse. She opened it and pulled out a vial, placing it on the coffee table just as Tanya and Edward walked in. They stopped short and I signaled Edward to grab Tanya. He snaked his arms around her waist and held her to him amidst her protest.

"What is that, Alice?" Jasper asked.

"Vicky told me how to make it. I was supposed to give it to you. Vicky said it would've taught Bella a lesson. Just a little lesson," she said, looking straight at him. "But I couldn't do it. I told her I was done and I wanted out of our friendship. I told her she was jealous that I could wake up and realize that Jasper was trying move on and learn to accept it, while she was hung up on James."

"That was the wrong thing to say," I said to her.

She chuckled nervously. "Yeah, it was. She went off on me, Bella. She started saying these crazy things. She didn't sound like my friend. When I started to get defensive, it got worse. She threatened me. She told me that when they came for you, she was going to come for me and you and I were going to have some fun together. I was nervous then. I didn't want to know what she meant but I opened my big mouth and got defensive again and then she told me a story."

"A story?" Edward inquired. "What kind of story?"

I sighed because I knew what was coming. Alice looked like she wanted to turn blue. Vicky must have said some horrible things from my past.

Alice glanced at me and then started, "Once upon a time, there was a girl named Bella. James loved this girl from the first time he saw her and he had to have her. His cousin tried to keep him away. He wanted Bella for himself. But James was smarter and the cousin paid dearly. Then when Bella was really, really sad, James got to take her. And take her he did. After the wedding, James started the training." The more she said, the more I felt like I was there. Alice was trembling through it.

"Keep going," I told her.

"James was good at training. The wedding night, James took her. He said she had the sweetest, tightest pussy and it was all his. But eventually, James shared her with me," Alice cried, telling us what Vicky said and then she whispered to me, "I'm so sorry."

I nodded, wanting to hear what Vicky said. "Go on."

"James had fun training Bella. He never called her Bella because he thought that name was too good for such a plain girl. Marie was better. Her mom was right to change her name to Marie. Because when James thought of Marie, he thought of his perfect little slave, and when he thought of Bella, he thought of the naughty girl who ran away."

Alice stopped but I knew there was more. "What aren't you saying?"

"Vicky talked about how much she liked fucking you. She loved that she could make you cry. Or how funny she thought it was when you tried to defend yourself," Alice sobbed. "And then she said you, me, and she were going to have a lot of fun together. I hung up because I couldn't listen anymore."

All eyes were on me while Alice apologized. "I'm not your favorite person and you're not mine. I highly doubt we'll ever be friends. But I'm so sorry, Bella. No one deserves to go through that."

I had lost my voice, but gained enough strength to say, "Thank you for telling us, Alice. And thank you for not doing what they said." I turned to Jasper and got up. "You need to help her. If you don't, they'll hurt her. Excuse me."

I took the stairs two at a time and ran into our bedroom. I dashed into the bathroom and got to the toilet just in time. I felt his hands in my hair and I cried.

"It's gonna be okay, darlin'. I promise you, it'll be alright," Jasper said in my ear while I lost everything I had ate. When I was through, Jasper helped me clean up and then he carried me to bed. I cried myself to sleep.

Tanya was in bed with me when I woke up. She held me while I cried. She told me that Jasper was helping Alice leave the country for a while. All expenses paid by him. He was setting her up in Italy until he felt it was safe for her to return. I thanked her for telling me and fell back asleep.

When I woke up again, it was to run to the bathroom and puke. Esme was in the bedroom when I got back.

"Jasper called me," she said.

"What time is it?"

"It's one am."

"Oh my God," I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands. "He's lost it."

"No. Jasper hasn't lost it. He's concerned. I didn't leave. Carlisle and I were over at the main house when Jasper called. We came over with Maria. She's with him now and I came up here to see you. Tanya was carried to bed by Edward. And I'm in here with you because you were screaming in your sleep."

"I was?" I didn't feel like I had a nightmare.

"You were." Esme came and sat beside me. "I know of the events that took place tonight. I know that it's gotta take a toll on you. We can talk if you'd like."

So we talked. I trusted Esme with my fears and I let her convince me that I was doing the right thing. And I began to hope again. My ultimate triumph was that one day I was going to rid my life of James Carter and he will be nothing but a distant memory.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next: Step forward<strong>_


	46. Jasper meets James

_**AN: April/May. Jasper and Bella move forward. A doctor's convention and James meets Jasper. **_

_**This chapter was trying. But Jasper couldn't see a way around it. James is a sneaky bastard. **_

_**Chapter forty five: Jasper meets James.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, April, 2011… <strong>_

"Jasper! Quit it!" I laughed, running into the house with him stalking behind me.

"You're gonna get it, Bella."

"I didn't mean it." Yes I did. And the look of disbelief on Jasper's face told me that he knew I meant it.

This was supposed to be funny. I thought it was. Jasper looked so good wet. It wasn't my fault. It was his. He was the one who interrupted my thoughts and got my panties wet when I saw him standing by the stable doors, shirtless and drinking whatever drink he got from Sue. So when I spotted the water hose near to me, I got an idea and ran with it. I grabbed it, got close enough to my unsuspecting boyfriend, thank god the hose was long enough, and sprayed him from head to toe. When he spotted me after his assault, I did the only thing I could think of, I laughed and ran.

I don't know what was wrong with me these days. I was playful and full of mischief where Jasper was concerned. He was always my target. I even called Peter for pointers on my pranks and he was always more than willing to help. While Char found it funny, Jasper wasn't amused where Peter was concerned. He said he was going to kick his ass as soon as he saw him.

Peter didn't mind Jasper's threats. He said he loved hearing me sound so happy. And I have been.

For the last few weeks, since Alice's departure under Jasper's protection to Italy, I have been happier than ever. It was a relief not having to deal with her.

Jasper wasn't going to help her at first. He was pissed at her for helping Vicky and James. In the end, Maria and I were the ones who got through to him for Alice's mom's sake. Clara became Jasper's concern. He and I didn't want anything happening to his mom's friend at James' doing. So Clara also left town on an extensive vacation.

Jasper had it all covered.

"Bella," he warned. He was so overprotective, it could be annoying sometimes.

"Jasper," I whined with my back to him. "I'm not tired. I'm not puking. Can't I just have some fun?"

For the last three days, I hardly left the house because of morning sickness, lack of appetite and fatigue. The days before that the only thing that kept me revived was planning the next prank I'd try on Jasper.

I could hear his audible groan and knew I was getting through to him. "Fine. But be careful running up the stairs."

"Love you!" I ran up the stairs and he wasn't far behind. He caught me at the bedroom door and lifted me up into his arms. "Put me down!"

"No," he chuckled. "You got me wet."

"Serves you right for looking so hot."

"And as punishment you're going to undress me," he said, kissing my lips.

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "How is that punishment?"

He smirked and my panties got wetter. "Because you're only undressing me. No sex."

"You, cruel, cruel man."

He laughed, carrying me into our bedroom where he deposited me on the bed, and I got to work. There wasn't much to take off. He was already shirtless and in the process of toeing off his boots, which left me with the way to heaven; his tight jeans that stood between me and one of my favorite parts on Jasper's body.

"I know what the look in your eye means, darlin'. But the answer is no. No sex."

"You don't play fair," I pouted.

"I never said I did."

"You want it as bad I do."

"There will never be a time when I don't want you."

I closed my eyes and fall back on the bed with a loud groan. "Why do you have to be so good with words?"

The bed dipped and I can feel him hovering over me. I didn't open my eyes. I laid there and let his words caress me. "You bring out the best in me."

When I opened my eyes to his, the love I see in them soothed me. "You're going to get the bed wet. Last I remember, I just hosed you down with a water hose."

His smirk was mischievous and sexy. "The bed's the only thing I'm gettin' wet?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter and get off the bed."

He laughed and jumped off me, falling back on the bed beside me, pulling me into his arms. "Jasper! You're getting me wet!"

"Now we're talking."

"I thought you said no sex."

He chuckled deeply and kissed my cheek. "Did I?"

"You did."

"Oh," he said nonchalantly.

Jasper insisted on what was supposed to be an innocent shower together. But it turned out to be nothing but naughty. We were making the most of my good mood and less nausea since I woke up this morning.

All days haven't been great. But with Jasper by my side, they have been bearable. Morning sickness, yucky smells and tiredness have been the epitome of my days for the past two and a half weeks. On good days, I played pranks on Jasper, talked to Charlie over the phone, texted Tanya, and thought up new ways to prank Jasper. On bad ones, Jasper waited on me hand and foot.

He hasn't returned to his medical practice since we got home. It was an issue we had been bickering about when I had the strength to. I didn't want Jasper neglecting his career. But he didn't see that way. He said his career as a doctor will still be there. Right now, I needed him more.

I obliged with his reasoning as long as he didn't back out of our deal. He had to attend the doctor's convention which would be held in Seattle in May. Jasper begrudgingly agreed, but only if I stayed over at the main house where Sue and Maria could keep a better eye on me. Sam was going to stay behind but I threw a fit. There was no way Jasper would attend that convention without Sam there protecting him and Carlisle. Jasper agreed to my terms. And I agreed to his. He was only staying three days and then coming home to his family.

I still don't know what I did to deserve his love, but I wasn't about to let him go.

Jasper's voice woke me. I had fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow after our eventful shower.

"I love you and your mommy very much. You're gonna love it here, darlin'."

He was talking to the baby again. He started doing this a few days ago, saying he felt closing to our child when he did it. He also claimed it made him feel more involved in the pregnancy. He didn't have to explain and I told him so. I loved hearing him talk to the baby. I loved that he was this involved.

"I'm probably gonna spoil you. Mommy won't want me to, but I love you two too much to say no."

"Then you'll both be on punishment," I added.

He kissed my stomach. "Hear that, mommy is ready to play good cop/bad cop."

"Mommy is ready for when Daddy goes crazy."

Jasper got up, moving closer to my lips, his eyes filled with happiness, love and a hint of lust. "Mommy needs to understand that Daddy has no problem spending his all on Mommy and his kids."

"Mommy doesn't doubt that. She knows how much Daddy loves us."

"I do love you, Ms. Swan."

"I love you too. With everything I am."

It was nightfall by the time we got up and Jasper insisted on making dinner. He made himself a hearty meal and a light one for me. I wasn't feeling too good and I couldn't wait for the day when this part would pass. I was missing out on Jasper's cooking. I missed cooking.

I felt a little tired so he ordered me to the dinner table where he would serve me. I guess I had used up all the energy today, but it was worth it. Most days it was just sleep, puke, clean up, sleep, eat, kiss Jasper and warn him to stay away from my tender breasts and then sleep again.

When Jasper finally placed dinner in front of me, as delicious as it looked, I still prayed I would keep it down.

After dinner I had enough strength to help him clean up. He watched me through the corner of his eye the entire time, readying himself for anything.

"You ok?"

I smiled at his concern and leaned over to him. He met my lips in a soft kiss. "I'm fine…so far."

He chuckled. "That's good."

"Prenatal appointment is tomorrow."

"Yeah, Zafrina wants to make sure things are going well."

"Is it weird I feel nervous every time I have to go and see her?"

"No," Jasper answered. "I think you're being prepared. You still don't get why all this good shit is happening to you so you're waiting on the other shoe to drop."

I pulled him into a fierce kiss. "I love you so fucking much! That's exactly how I feel."

We laughed.

_**Jasper, April, 2011…**_

Bella was worried almost every appointment she had with Zafrina even though Zafrina assured us Bella was doing great. But I couldn't wrong her for it. If I lived in the hell she was escaping I would probably be the same way. I wouldn't think there was anything good out there for me, and if I, by some miracle, found it, I would think it was bullshit and someone was messing with my head.

"This movie is so funny!" Bella laughed.

"Mind your blood pressure," I warned and Bella turned to me and stuck her tongue out and then turned back to the movie.

"I'm fine and this movie is funny as shit!"

Bella didn't have a filter anymore. She was becoming more and more confident and comfortable in her own skin as her pregnancy progressed. Zafrina said it was natural for Bella to be displaying different attitudes. I knew about the mood swings, but aside from that, she has become a prankster! It was fun sometimes and I was always her intended target. She got others involved at times and it has left me with a missing car, missing keys or cell phone, and missing files. But seeing Bella happy made the frustration worth it. Sometimes I did get a good laugh out of it too.

The movie ended and we went to bed. Bella was out cold as soon as her head hit the pillow. I stayed up for a while and watched her sleep.

The next morning was a whirlwind of activity, starting with me racing behind Bella to the bathroom to hold her hair back. She was green around the gills all morning. We stopped twice on the way to Zafrina's office so Bella could throw up.

Zafrina was ready for us as soon as we arrived. Just one look at Bella and she sent her into her office.

"She's really sick today," I said, panicked. I knew this was perfectly normal, but fuck! Sometimes this shit was scary.

"She's fine, Jasper. You know this," Zafrina said.

"I know, but this shit is scary."

Zafrina patted my arm in support. "Let's head in there."

Zafrina took her time with Bella and she made sure we stayed at her office until Bella was okay to leave. Zafrina advised taking Bella straight home. The house needed food and I had to go grocery shopping. But Bella was too tired and I didn't want to leave her so I made the moment we stepped through the door and asked Sue if she could help. She was happy to and scolded me for not asking sooner.

I escorted Bella upstairs and stayed with her while she slept.

Sue got back and popped her head in to tell me everything had been bought and packed away. She left some crackers and ginger ale for Bella's stomach with her love.

Today was an okay day.

_**Jasper, May, 2011…**_

The rest of April passed without event. Jenks said James took a break from the hospital and was vacationing at one of his family's home. It was suspicious but we were glad he wasn't up to anything for the time being. Vicky wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary either. She would only visit James from time to time.

The news excited Bella. She wanted James and Vicky to stay away. If they continued to do this, she was going to find the right time to file for divorce. She wanted James out of her life as fast as Edward could go.

But it wasn't only that for me. I wanted to make sure James would never find the right time to try and hurt my family. If the bastard made a move, I would be ready for him. If he came down here, he wasn't leaving alive.

I was leaving for the doctor's convention today. Carlisle and Sam were waiting outside in the car, and I was standing in the foyer of the main house with Bella in my arms.

"I don't want to go."

"You'll be back in three days," Bella countered.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." I kissed her long and hard, not wanting to let go. She laughed against my lips and pulled away.

I moved to the front door and stopped to look back at my smiling girlfriend. "I'll really miss you."

"I love you. Hurry up and come back to me."

"Yes, ma'am." I laughed and headed out to the car.

As the town car pulled further away from the ranch, I sighed and my uncle chuckled. "You'll be back before you know it."

I half smiled. I missed Bella and the baby already.

The convention was being held at the Renaissance Hotel in Seattle. Carlisle, Sam and mine's rooms have already been booked respectively by Bella. I was playing stubborn and being troublesome while she got it done two days ago. I just didn't want to leave her.

As soon as we landed, I called. She was okay. The baby was fine and Bella reassured me she will let Sue or Momma know if anything changed.

Night one without her was restless. I couldn't sleep. I missed having her beside me. By daylight, I had only gotten about three hours of sleep and I was crabby. Carlisle and Sam thought it was funny, but I wasn't kidding around. I missed my family. I called Bella when it was appropriate and learned she missed me too. I tried to talk her into letting me leave the convention early than my three days for her, but she said no.

My second day in Seattle passed with discussions at the convention, meet and greet with other doctors, and calls, texts and pictures to and from Bella. My second night would have been restless if Bella hadn't called and we spent most of the time on the phone. We talked about the baby. We talked our life together. We talked about marriage and Bella wasn't scared of the topic as I thought she would be. She said as long as I was the one waiting for her at the altar she'd be alright.

My second day and night in Seattle had been easier but my third day was my favorite because we would be leaving as soon as the discussion going on now ended. I wasn't interested in spending another day away from Bella.

Although she wasn't feeling too well this morning, she got better as the day went along. While talks of surgeries and so on went on the stage, Bella and I were chatting. My little darlin' was feeling frisky and being flirtatious and suggestive and I liked it. Our talk had jumped from food and what we could do with it when it didn't make her queasy anymore to sex. I had just said something sexually to her and she was threatening to ask my momma for advice.

_JWhit: Bella…don't!_

_SwanBells: Oh come on, Jas, I'll just ask her. Maybe I could give her an example to work with. Like that time you went down on me in the…_

_JWhit: Bella, for the love of God! Don't!_

_SwanBells: LOL! I'm just fucking with you, Jas._

_JWhit: *sighs in relief*_

_SwanBells: Besides I don't have to ask anything. She said your dad was the same thing. You two have a lot of stamina. You hear that, Jas? You get it from your daddy! LOL! _

I was red in the face.

"Jasper, are you alright?" Carlisle whispered to me. "You look like you're about to pass out."

"Bella and Momma are taking about my sex life."

Carlisle laughed at me.

_JWhit: Plz tell me you're joking, baby._

_SwanBells: Your mom says hi._

_JWhit: I'm not coming home._

_SwanBells: LMAO! Maria says to quit whining. How did you think you got here? Do you think you fell from the sky? Your dad was a passionate guy, and she considers it a gift that was proudly passed to you._

_JWhit: Well, thanks, I guess. But I can't face my momma for at least a day or two._

_SwanBells: I understand. I've gotta go and get ready. But lunch is first. _

Carlisle nudged me, wanting me to pay attention. I gave him a hard look and he threw a stern one back at me. "Pay attention," he said through gritted teeth.

"Yeah. Yeah." I rolled my eyes at him and went back to chatting with Bella.

I got another message from Bella and smiled at the picture attached. The food looked delicious.

_SwanBells: Guess what? I got cravings! Morning sickness is still a bitch and I've still got to watch it. But I'm hungry and eating! Yay!_

_JWhit: Omg! Yes! I'm so happy for you, baby! Any weird cravings yet?_

_SwanBells: Yeah. I got a strange one last night. And I did get sick but it felt sooo good eating something yummy. It happened before we started talking so don't worry about it._

She knew me so well. I wasn't about to launch into questions if she hadn't said that.

_JWhit: What was it?_

_SwanBells: I don't want to creep you out._

_JWhit: You won't._

_SwanBells: I'm going to start with what you saw in the pic attached. This is a turkey breast stuffed with sausage and mushroom. This is lunch!_

_JWhit: I'm hungry from just looking at it._

_SwanBells: & last nite was fried chicken with peanut butter and pickles. _

_JWhit: Bella, wtf?_

_SwanBells: LOL!_

_SwanBells: I thought you were hungry. *winks* _

_JWhit: That's usually for you, baby. *smirks*_

_SwanBells: Get home safely and you can have me.*winks*_

_JWhit: Cannot wait!_

_SwanBells: LOL! Let's get your mind out of the gutter. _

Carlisle nudged me again and I swear to God if he did it one more time, we were going to fight.

"Stop it," I mumbled to him.

"Pay attention," he said.

"I am," I replied through clenched teeth.

I was only half paying attention. Bella was more important.

_JWhit: After the fried chicken experiment, dare I ask what you had for dessert?_

_SwanBells: LOL! Chocolate ice cream with gummy bears and then I got sick. But it was worth it. I was so happy to eat something other than wheat crackers. I was happy to be hungry! _

_JWhit: Oh God! _

_SwanBells: Gagging yet?_

_JWhit: Honestly? No. Okay. Maybe a little._

_SwanBells: LOL! Wait til you see me eat it._

I wasn't looking forward to seeing her devour the fried chicken and peanut butter one. That sounded gross!

Carlisle nudged me and I lightly punched his arm, making him laugh. "Pay attention."

"I have been and it's almost over."

_JWhit: It's almost over, Bella._

_SwanBells: Yay! Go meet and greet. I'll call you before we leave. _

_JWhit: Where r u goin'?_

_SwanBells: To the movies. Tanya and Edward are here. Sue and Maria have gone shopping. Edward is taking Tanya and me to see whatever we want. We get to see two movies depending on how I feel. _

_JWhit: That sounds great, baby._

_SwanBells: I love you. xxx_

_JWhit: I love you too. xxx _

The talks ended and we got up for lunch. I did the meet and greet like Bella wanted and Carlisle and I ended up in a really good discussion with Dr. Shield, a surgeon from New York. We were discussing laparoscopic surgery and the benefits of her work with it.

When we finished up our talk, I called Bella. We talked while she got ready. She told me she and Tanya wanted to see 'Bridesmaids' and they were going to end Edward's torture by watching 'X-Men: First Class' with him. Bella could handle sci-fi but horrors scared her. We said our goodbyes and I finally got to lunch. I was starving.

Carlisle and Sam had gotten up to go to the buffet table. I was almost finished eating. I stopped to text Edward asking him to take care of Bella and he was assuring me that he and Tanya would take good care of her when _he_ sat down.

"Hello." Something in me told me it was him before I even looked in the bastard's eyes.

I sent my text to Edward and then gave James my full attention. Carlisle and Sam turned to come back to the table, but I stopped them.

"Hello."

He sighed and relaxed in Carlisle's seat. "You look different in person."

There was no reason to pretend. He knew me. I knew him. I loved the woman he spent six years terrorizing.

"What were you expecting?"

He sniffled and rubbed his nose. His pupils were dilated and the lazy grin on his disgusting face was drug induced. "I honestly don't know, Jasper Whitlock. _Dr. Whitlock_. Guess she has a thing for doctors, huh?"

"What do you want?" Everything depended on me not losing it. But how long could I hold out? I wanted to lose it. God knows I wanted to. I wanted to stomp his ass into the ground. I wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp. I wanted to choke the life out of him.

"I wanted to meet you, face-to face," James said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table. "I wanted to meet the coward who tricked my Marie into leaving me."

"And what do you want?" I wasn't going to correct him. He didn't want to hear that. He wanted to hear what he thought was the truth.

"I told you," James said. "To meet the man who stole my pride and joy. She was mine. She still is mine and she will always be mine. No matter what you do or say, Marie will always love me!"

What do you say to that, knowing that it couldn't be farther from the truth? My anger was boiling and I wanted to tackle this son of a bitch to the ground and turn the conference area into a crime scene.

When I took too long to answer, James misinterpreted my silence and started laughing. "You're afraid of me, aren't you country boy?"

I cocked an eyebrow at him in challenge, slightly offended by what he had just called me. "That couldn't be further from the truth, James. I'm not afraid of you. You, on the other hand, should be afraid of me."

He laughed loudly and Sam and Carlisle ignored me and stepped up to the table, neither of them sitting down. Instead, they flanked me. He glanced up at them. "Who are they?"

"You know who. You dug the information out of Alice, didn't you?" I said to him. "You used your sick ex-stepsister to trick her into telling you what you wanted to know after she babbled Bella's name!"

"Jasper, calm down," Carlisle said smoothly with a hand on my shoulder, but it was too late. I should have gotten up as soon as the asshole sat down. Right now, all I felt was rage. "Don't let him get to you."

"He's right, Jasper," Sam added. But it wouldn't work. I was too far gone. I was going to kick James' ass.

"Oh yeah," James taunted, flying up out of the chair and knocking it back, causing a few eyes to turn to us. "Don't let me get to you! You stole her from me!"

"I didn't take anything," I said calmly.

"She was mine! And still is!"

We garnered more attention after he shouted that and I sprang up out of my seat too. "Like hell she is!" I chuckled darkly. "You better walk away, James."

Carlisle and Sam were holding my shoulders back. But I could still get away. I glared at James. The fuck was smirking at me like he thought this was a game and he was winning.

"Or else what?" he sneered.

"Stay away from her," I warned him. "Do you understand me?! You better forget her and walk the fuck away while you still can, James! If you come anywhere near her, I'll kill you!"

James gave me a twisted 'like hell I will' look and I wanted to rip him to pieces.

"Marie loves me," he said stubbornly.

I rushed him over the table and he jumped back before I could get my hands on him. Carlisle and Sam were holding me back. "No, she doesn't!" I said angrily to him. "She was your victim. She was your prisoner. She was a subject in your sick, twisted fantasies."

He leered at me and then turned and walked away. Carlisle and Sam let me go and stepped back too soon. James wasn't finished and neither was I.

When he stopped and turned back to me with a smirk, I knew this was far from over.

"Oh, Marie is a good fuck, isn't she? Do her blowjobs make you weep? That girl always knew how to handle a cock. But just remember…I taught her all she knows."

Sam and Carlisle were too late to grab me. I dived across the table and tackled James to the floor. We tumbled around with James trying to get the upper hand but he was no match for me. I pounded the fucker's face in. I punched and choked him until Sam, Carlisle and some other guys pulled me off of him.

The cops came, and despite the witnesses, James didn't press charges. The fucking asshole told them we were cousins and fighting over the same girl. Between the two of us, I didn't go to jail. I only went along with it because I wanted the opportunity to kill the son of a bitch with my bare hands.

While he talked to the cops we kept our eyes on each other. This wasn't over.

Sam and Carlisle grabbed everything and we left the hotel and headed straight for the airport. Peter was called and so was Momma. Both were pissed at me for losing my cool. I asked for Bella but she was still out. I told them not to tell her.

Carlisle and Sam were disappointed in me but they understood. Sam already beefed up security before I even set foot in my house that night with my busted lip. I wanted to calm down before I had to face Bella. She was probably over at the main house with Tanya and Momma. That could give me some time.

I had to laugh. A busted lip. That was all James could get off of me. I smiled internally knowing the asshole looked like he had been in a car wreck compared to me.

When the light switched on, I froze. Bella was standing by the switches with a pissed off looking Momma behind her. Momma was angry but it was Bella who held my attention. She was furious.

"Bella, I…"

"Edward and Peter are drawing up my divorce papers as I speak. As of tomorrow the proceedings will start. And they are going to do whatever is necessary to get it done. James is not to be trusted right now. It'll be a fight. I know he won't consent to it. But Peter and Edward are prepared for him and his lawyers."

"Bella, I'm…"

She didn't let me talk, she went on, "I'm angry at myself because I pushed you to go to the convention, but I thought it would be fine," she said tensely. "I'm fucking pissed at you for letting him get to you and I may be wrong for that, but I don't give a fuck! You don't know him like I do! He could've killed you! He could've walked up to you and take you away from me and the baby! Why, Jasper? Why did you attack him? This is a plan. It has to be! He did this because the shit with Alice didn't work. And I was so dumb to think that things would go smoothly. This is my fault!"

Tanya and Sue came down the stairs with bags. Bella's bags and I started to panic. "What are you doing?"

Momma shook her head at me and walked out. Bella sighed and moved around me to the front door while my heart threatened to stop. "I'm doing what I should've done the moment I knew James had found me."

"Bella, don't."

"I'm leaving."


	47. I Should Leave

_**AN: The aftermath. **_

_**Chapter forty six: Jasper comes home and Bella makes rash decisions. Vicky wants to know what happened.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, May, 2011… <strong>_

Jasper stared at me. I felt a little nervous under his gaze as it intensified. The crystal blue of his eyes seemed to darken the longer he looked at me. "What do you mean you're leaving?" he asked in a deadly calm tone.

"I have to go. I should've done this from the moment I realized James found me, but I fell in love with all of you. I was in love in you, Jasper, and I grew selfish. Now, I've stayed too long and for what?!"

He looked confused for a minute but it quickly gave way to his anger and then he just looked pissed. "What the hell are you talking about, Bella?"

"Jasper, I have to go." I wanted to do this peacefully. I wanted to go through that door and know that I won't be a danger to Jasper anymore. I could do something right this time around. I could keep someone I loved safe, instead getting them killed.

But Jasper wasn't seeing the big picture. I could see it in his eyes. He was thinking of me and our baby's safety. He didn't realize how close he came to James hurting him.

"Jasper, you have to understand."

"No. I don't," he sneered at me and I tried to ignore the pang of hurt I felt when he spoke to me like this.

"You have to try," I said to him. "I can't do it again. I can't let James take someone I love from me. You came so close. I came so close to losing you and not being able to face Maria again without regret. I will not cause another mother to hurt because of me. I won't endanger you any longer."

Jasper didn't answer. He just stared at me. I needed to go but he was blocking the door. I approached, trying to make my way around him, but he stepped in front of me. He towered over me and I felt intimidated, but not as threatened as I would have felt if it was James standing in front of me. I knew Jasper wouldn't hurt me.

"Jasper, please move out of the way so I can leave." I tried to walk around him and he stepped in front of me again.

"No."

I sighed in frustration and stepped back. "What are you doing? I have to go!" I was losing it. And every stubborn move Jasper made further pissed me off. I knew James. He didn't. It was as simple as that.

"I'm not moving because you're not leaving," Jasper said. I moved to talk and he held his hand up, signaling that he wasn't finished. "I'm not letting you go because if you leave you're playing into James' hand. I know I fucked up. But you weren't there and I wasn't about to stand there and listen to him talk about you like you were a piece of meat or a toy he liked to fuck with."

"He was playing you."

"I know!" he yelled. "And I'm sorry I lost my temper. But I am not sorry I beat his scrawny ass. I'm not sorry for wanting to kill him. He's a monster."

"One that can hurt you," I told him. "Is that what you want? You want to leave me?"

Jasper looked at me incredulously. "What the fuck do you think you're doing to me? Do you think it's easy to listen to you say you're going to walk out the damn door? What about me? What about our baby? Are you going to go out there and let James get his hands on you so he can rip our child out of you? 'Cause looking into that monster's face and seeing the evil that lives there, I wouldn't put it pass the fucker. I can bet that's what he's got planned. He's gonna find you and rip the baby out of you, kill me, and then take you back to his dungeon in Sacramento!"

I hated to say it, but everything Jasper said made perfect sense, even if it wasn't going to break my resolve. I was leaving.

"I'm not going let anything happen to our baby."

Jasper chuckled darkly. "But you still wanna go?"

I didn't answer verbally.

He sighed and ran a hand over his face while he moved away from the door, heading over to the stairs. He sat on the bottom of them with his elbows on his knees. His posture was stiff, laden with his anger and I was so sorry. His eyes, when they met mine, were the worst. They were dejected and his gaze was growing cold.

"You know what? To hell with this," he chuckled humorlessly. "You want to go? Then go. Don't let me stop you. Leave, Bella. Take care of our baby. I don't have the strength to fight you on this. And the more I talk, the less you're gonna get it. We'll just continue to argue while we go in circles. You've made up your mind and I'm being a fool if I think I can stop you."

What was he saying? "Jasper, I…"

"I don't want to hear it," he said coldly. "All I wanted was your trust. I wanted you to trust my word and know that I would never let James hurt you. I wanted you to trust me as much as you love me. But you can't. You trust James more and I can't stand it."

"What? I don't…"

He sprang up and shouted, "Yes you do! You believe that fucking piece of shit so much you're running off because he's got you scared. Yes! I get it! You've been with him for years. You're experienced when it comes to his brand of evil. I know!" His anger was going through the roof but he was still pleading with me. Tears were running down his face as they flowed down mine. "But you were shown the light, Bella. Phil got you out and an unfortunate incident led you to me and my family. We fell in love with you. I fell in love with you! I have never felt this strongly about a woman before, but I can't do it. I don't how to fight anymore."

"What are you saying?" Was he saying what I think? Was this my wakeup call? Was this reality dumping cold water on my fantastic dream?

Jasper glared at me and chuckled again. "I'm not breaking up with you, Bella. You're breaking up with me. I'm just stating the facts. I'm telling you the reason why you feel the need to break my heart."

"I'm not breaking up with you, Jasper!"

"Yes, you are."

"No!"

"YES! You are."

"I'm not!" I shouted. "I'm leaving because this is the only way I can keep you safe."

"You're leaving because you don't trust me."

"No!"

"Yes! You're leaving because you're scared of James."

"Yes! But I trust you. I just want to…"

"Shut up!" I jumped and stayed silent when he said that. "You don't trust me. If you did, you wouldn't be on your way out the fucking door! You wouldn't be risking our baby's life. You wouldn't be breaking my heart." He choked back his tears. "I love you, with all of me, but I can't do this if you can't trust me. I love you. I trust you. But I can't keep doing that if you're always gonna be running scared, Bella."

"Jasper, please…" I cried.

"Go. You're the one doing this to us. I was coming home to grab a shower, find you and grovel at your feet for being an ass because I couldn't control my temper around James. But I'm not being the ass, you are. You're not fighting James, Bella. You're helping him win."

Jasper got up and made his way up the stairs. I stood there by the front door staring at his back until he walked into the darkened hallway that led to our bedroom. He opened the door, walked in and slammed it shut behind him. The echo made me jump.

The front door opened behind me and her voice filtered into my stunned brain. "Bella?" Tanya said calmly. "Bella?"

I couldn't answer. I couldn't speak. It was over. I was…what was I going to do? It was over. James didn't cause this. I did.

I don't know how I got to the car. I don't know how I got in. I don't know who drove. I didn't care. I saw trees go by. I heard the purr of the engine, but nothing mattered to me more than the dejected look on Jasper's face and the tears in his eyes.

A terrifying sob ripped through my chest and broke from my throat. The car stopped and someone got in the backseat with me. They held me to them and rocked me while I screamed and cried. The car started to move again.

Houston has been a blur for the last week without Jasper. My heart broke every day and I feared the nights. Esme and Zafrina have been to see me. Esme feared the stress I was putting myself under. Zafrina feared a miscarriage. I heard them and I understood but nothing mattered without Jasper.

I heard from Jasper through texts and short calls. He sounded awful and it broke my heart some more. He wanted me to eat and stay healthy for the baby's sake. He didn't mention anything about us. He didn't say he loved me. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but by the time I built up the courage to, he hung up and I would cry myself to sleep.

Today had been full of activity on my divorce proceedings' end. Edward and Peter would be hearing from James' lawyers tomorrow. They were going as fast they could and pulling out all the stops to get me divorced from James. Edward considered it easy enough seeing as I wasn't seeking a thing from James, only my freedom. Peter was gearing up for James' retaliation. He was convinced James would try to drag me through the dirt before he consented to the divorce. Edward reminded me that this was why Jasper wanted us to wait. His name caused me to break down and Tanya berated Edward for saying that to me. But he wasn't wrong and I told him so.

A talk with Peter let me know that Jasper wasn't fairing too well. Maria and Sue thought it would be best if I stayed in Houston. Jasper was taking the…I didn't see it as a breakup, I refused to, our time apart very hard. They thought we should take this time away from each other to think.

But I couldn't. Not anymore. I was wrong and Jasper needed to know that.

"Bella, do you want me to stay?" Tanya came to my bedroom every night to ask me the same question. For the past three nights, I have been having terrifying nightmares. I have woken Tanya and Edward up on more than one occasion. I fought them off and even punched Edward in the nose. He said he forgave me because I was too sad for him to fuck with me. I wouldn't be any fun. I gave him a small smile.

"No," I said quietly. I have hardly spoken above a whisper since being at Tanya's. And I only spoke when necessary.

Zafrina found this behavior unhealthy. She wanted me to go back to Henderson. She was upset with me for leaving. It wasn't just because Jasper was a good friend to her, it was also because I was wrecking all we had worked for. This was no longer a stress free pregnancy.

"Bella, it'll be okay," Tanya said, coming to sit beside me on the bed. She took my hand in hers, squeezing it reassuringly. "This isn't over. You and Jasper are meant to be. I don't give a shit what happened. This is a rough patch and you guys are going to get over it and move forward. You'll see."

I nodded. I wanted to believe that. I really do.

"Things will get better," she said, getting up. She ran a hand through my hair, said good night and left the room.

I stayed up after Tanya left with my phone in my hand and my finger lingering on the call button. Jasper's name was highlighted and I wanted to press 'send' so badly. I didn't get to. I chickened out and fell asleep.

_I was back in college sitting on my favorite bench. From here, I could see Garrett get out of class. People were moving around, going about their business or sitting on the grass, chatting with one another and taking in the cool breeze. I was safe here. It was my favorite bench. I could see all I wanted to see from here. I was content here. _

"_You should go home." _

_Garrett was ethereal as usual. He was dressed in a white dress shirt and khaki pants and black boots. But his usually happy persona was marred by anger. He wouldn't look at me and my heart was breaking. _

"_You hate me too?" I asked, choosing to look out at the people instead. They were happier than me anyways. _

"_No." he sighed. "I will never hate you, Bella." _

"_You should," I countered. "You're dead because of me." _

"_I'm dead because of James," he fired back. "You didn't kill me. You made my days brighter and worth living. You do the same for Jasper." _

"_Don't," I begged him. Any mention of Jasper made me cry. "I can't talk about him."_

_I moved to get up, but Garrett stopped me. "Don't. Sit and listen. You've always been too stubborn."_

"_What?"_

"_Shut up," he ordered. "Now, Jasper is good for you. He's the best thing that's ever happened to you. He's the one for you. There will never be another man who will love you the way he does." _

_I looked at him in astonishment. But Garrett ignored that and went on, "You're walking away because you're stubbornly, continuously, blaming yourself for my death. But listen to me, Bella Swan, you're not to be blamed! You didn't kill me. I'm here for you because I love you and I never blamed you. Not once. And I'm going to let you in on a little secret. If things had worked out another way, you wouldn't have met me or James."_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_Destiny." _

"_What?" What was Garrett talking about?_

"_I'm talking about fate, Bella. You were always meant to meet Jasper. No matter how long it took, he would've come into your life. It's just that if things had worked out, it would've been a lot sooner." _

"_Like when?"_

"_Like when you were sixteen, and Phil got an invitation to a business thing in Houston. Jasper was with his dad at that function. If you two had met, you would've hit it off." I moved to talk but Garrett shut me up. "Shut it. Don't tell me any bullshit about age difference. Just fucking listen to me. You would've met Jasper. You two would've kept in touch and things would've worked out." _

"_Well, it didn't happen." _

"_I know," Garrett said sadly. "For that, I'm sorry. But he's here now. Don't fucking let him go. You're killing him right now and you're dying inside. Go home and put yourselves out of this fucking misery." _

_I loved my friend. "I love you." _

"_I love you too," Garrett sighed. _

"_I never would've met you." _

"_Maybe we would've met some other way." _

"_But you loved me at one point, what about that?"_

"_I see the truth. It was always Jasper," he smiled. "But it work out that way, and we're in this situation and yeah I love you. I always will."_

"_You're my angel."_

"_I am. Now go home." _

"_I will." _

I woke with a start and a renewed vigor. I got up and started to pack. It was the middle of the night but I couldn't be stopped. I got dressed and grabbed my things. I wrote Edward and Tanya a note thanking them and telling them that I was going home to Jasper.

I made my way out the door, knowing he was here. He was probably in Jasper's penthouse. He never came over, but I knew he was here. I just knew it.

I took my things and crept out of Tanya's penthouse to see Sam standing in the hallway. He was a picture of calm as he leaned up against the wall with one foot crossed over the other.

"Are you ready to go home now?"

"How did you know?"

"I stand out here every night around this time wondering when you're going to come to your senses."

I didn't know what to say. Sam didn't sugarcoat things. He was being truthful and as much as it hurt, I welcomed it. "What if I hadn't?"

"I would've dragged you back kicking and screaming because I'm not about to miss another night without my wife because you and Jasper can't handle your emotions."

He stood tall and then walked over to me. He moved around me and headed inside Tanya's place. He walked back out a minute later and took my bags. We went to the elevator. Sam pressed the button. "What did you do?"

"Complete your note. I told Edward and Tanya I was driving you home."

The elevator opened and we stepped in. "You make going home sound simple."

"It is."

"We said things."

"Like every other couple. We all say shit that hurts and then we say we're sorry and work it out."

"But.."

"But nothing. Jasper lost his temper like James wanted him to and you were running scared. The only problem with James' plan is, you didn't run to Charlie."

"What does my dad have to do with this?"

"We had a mole."

"What?" Sam's cool attitude was pissing me off. "Who? Is Jasper safe? Why aren't you with him?"

He chuckled and shook his head, saying something about me and Jasper being alike. "Let me answer all those questions in order. Yes, we do. Jake, who protects your dad, and I figured it out that a new guy named Chad was working for Laurent. Jenks set things up to make it look like you were heading to Charlie's. Your dad was informed and he was in on the planning. Maria took over for Jasper. Jake met the guy and beat him to a pulp. Jasper was pissed. He didn't get to."

"What about…?" He gave me a look and I stopped and let him continue.

"Now Jake sees your dad as an uncle to him so he was more than willing to kick Chad's ass. Yes, Jasper is safe. I'm not with him because I'm on strict orders to not leave your side until you're home. That should cover it."

When we got off the elevator, I walked with purpose through the lobby. I was going home to fix this. I was wrong to leave and I was going to apologize to the man I love and tell him that I would never make this mistake again.

_**James, May, 2011…**_

I was pissed but Vicky was happy to see my battered face. "What the hell happened to you?" she laughed when I walked through the door. "I didn't know doctor's convention could be so eventful."

"I met Jasper."

She snorted. "He's stronger than he looks in his pictures. You look like you were in a car wreck. What did you say?"

I chuckled. "You know me too well."

"I do. So what did you say to him?"

I smiled, remembering how Jasper's face contorted when I told him how good my Marie was in bed. He needed to know that everything she knew, I taught her for my gratification, not his. He manipulated her and stole her from me. "He didn't like knowing I was the only man for Marie. He realized he didn't stand a chance and got pissed."

"Well, is the asshole in jail?"

"I didn't press charges."

"WHAT?"

"No," I said coolly. "That would ruin things. Marie will want to run now. She's scared and thinks I'm about to come and pull her out of her little love bubble."

Vicky smiled. "You sick bastard. You planned this. Make them feel safe and then drop them on their asses."

"Exactly," I chuckled and sat down carefully with a hiss. The country hick was strong. Had a lot of anger. He was lucky though. I wasn't afraid of him. Sure, he rattled me for a minute, but it quickly passed.

"What are you going to do now?" Vicky asked, coming to sit beside me. She kissed my cheek and I accepted it for now. Soon, it would be Marie tending to me.

"I'm going to sit and wait and see."

My plans didn't go the way I wanted. Marie didn't go to Charlie as I previously thought and Laurent's mole was severely beaten by the dog protecting Charlie Swan. But I had a plan B.

Renee was going to visit her daughter very soon.

_**Bella, May, 2011…**_

It took three or so hours to get home and I didn't sleep all the way there despite Sam's advisement to. I couldn't close my eyes until I saw Jasper's eyes staring into mine. I wanted to tell him I was sorry and I was the dumbest person on the planet to walk away from him. I was willing to grovel. I was willing to take whatever he threw my way.

Sam asked what I was thinking about and I shared my plans with him. He said it wasn't needed. Jasper missed me too much to even think about punishing or spiting me for leaving.

"Besides, you're both dumb anyways," he said. "I wouldn't have let Emily walked out. He could've come and seen you every day of this past week but he kept chickening out. Kind of like you. You two are meant for each other."

I smiled at that.

When we pulled up in front of my home, I sighed in content. I was wrong to leave this sanctuary.

I was out of the car before Sam could stop me. Not that he was. I ran to the door. It was unlocked so I slammed it open and went inside. The house was in almost total darkness. Only the moonlight illuminated the room. Jasper's slump figure was seated on the couch. I made a brave step forward and he stopped me.

"Don't." His voice was hoarse and almost unrecognizable. I ignored him and turned on the light.

I gasped in shock. The living room was in disarray. It looked like a tornado had gone through it. "What happened?"

"I happened," Jasper said, getting up and staggering. He chuckled to himself but there was nothing to laugh about. He looked horrible. His hair was a mess and he looked like he hadn't showered in days. "I didn't see a reason for it to look normal. Nothing's normal."

He took a swig of the bottle of Jack in his hand. "I'm sorry."

Jasper laughed at me. "What for?"

"For being an asshole."

He blinked in disbelief and then stared at me. "What?"

"I said, I'm sorry for being an asshole and I'm here to beg you to forgive me."

"Bella, I'm too drunk to be fucked with."

"I'm not fucking around," I said strongly. "I'm serious. I love you with all I am and I'm so sorry for acting like a scared idiot. I jumped the gun. I panicked. But I want you to know, I trust you. You were wrong about that. I just thought I was protecting you. I can't lose you, Jasper."

He made his way around the couch while I spoke. He put the bottle down on the end table and he ran his hand over his face in attempts to sober himself up. "Bella, please tell me you're not messing with me. Say you're not a fucking dream."

I laughed for the first time in a week. "I'm not fucking with you. I'm not a dream. I'm a fucking nightmare but I love you too much and I'm way too selfish to let you go. I love you, Jasper Whitlock and I'm so fucking sorry."

He grabbed me and kissed me hard. We staggered around until my back hit the wall. Jasper pulled back to ask if I was okay and then to tell me he loved me. I told him I was fine and returned the sentiment. We kissed until we were breathless. And when Jasper pulled away, he placed a hand on my stomach and kissed my forehead before kneeling in front of me to kiss my stomach. When he said, "Welcome home, baby girl, I missed talking to you." I cried.

He got up and pulled me into his arms. He led me over to the couch where we stayed in each arms until we fell asleep. Resolution could wait until tomorrow. Tonight I was finding peace in Jasper's arms.


	48. Takin' a Minute

_**AN: The morning after.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter forty seven: Taken' a Minute.<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, May, 2011… <strong>_

I woke up with Jasper's arms around me. I thought he was still asleep, but I looked up and found him staring down at me. His smile was radiant. "Good morning."

"Morning."

"You're home."

"I'm home." I smiled back, happy to be in his arms. I was internally scolding myself for leaving though. Why did I think I could stay away? My heart was with him.

"We should get up," I suggested, trying to move out of his arms, only to have him tightened his grip on my body.

"Why?" he chuckled, placing a kiss on top of my head. "I like this."

I sighed and tightened my hold on him too. "I need to clean this place up. The living room is a mess."

"We'll do it in a minute."

"Okay."

We didn't do anything in a minute. I laid there until my eyes drooped and I fell asleep again. When I woke up, I was upstairs and in bed and it was around eleven. Jasper was gone and I wanted to take the time to unpack and grab a bath.

I decided to have the bath first and didn't leave the tub until I was a prune. When I got out, I tangled with my hair and then got dressed. While unpacking, Jasper came back upstairs.

"How was the bath?"

He must have come upstairs to check on me while I was in there. "It was good; relaxing."

"You're unpacking," he observed.

"Yeah. I wanted to get this done and then head downstairs to clean up the living room."

"Already done. And we have groceries now."

"We were out?"

He looked down sheepishly. "I didn't exactly do anything for a week."

I wanted to kick myself. "I'm sorry."

"Stop. Don't blame yourself. We were both wrong to do what we did. The danger is too great. You shouldn't have left and I shouldn't have let you go. Hell, I should've come up to Houston the next day."

"It's what I did that got us here. I was scared and I ran."

Jasper moved from the doorway and came into the room. He sat on the bed, and look at me for a long while before he asked, "Why did you run?"

"I…"

"Before you tell me, don't lie to me. Don't say what I want to hear. Tell me the truth. The one you've got in the pit of your stomach."

It flew out of my mouth at his command. "I don't want James to win. I'm scared. Yeah, I filed for divorce but I'm really scared."

"Then why leave me? Didn't you know how dangerous it would be to do what you did?"

"I was thinking that he wouldn't want to hurt you."

"Him hurting you would've killed me," he told me. "I sent Sam because I didn't want you to see me the way you came home and saw me. I was angry. I was mad at myself and at you for not trusting me."

"Are you still mad at me?"

He smirked, getting up and coming over to me. "A little. But I understand why you make rash decisions now."

"You do?"

He nodded. "You're scared of James."

I looked away and then I felt his arms around me. "It's okay. It's okay to be scared of him, Bella."

I started to cry. "I don't want to be!"

"We'll get through it."

"When will he stop tormenting me?"

"We'll stop him," Jasper promised me. "We'll stop him."

We left any talk of James behind and spent time together. We went to town to buy new picture frames and then had lunch. We walked in the park and sat under a tree and talked. I told Jasper anything I could think of. Especially about my childhood. I felt like talking about it. I couldn't shut up and he listened patiently. He gave advice and inquired while I talked. When we started talking about my mother, Jasper wasn't too pleased with that subject.

"I don't think I'll ever like her," he said outright. "I don't want to hurt you by saying that, but I can't like a woman who sat by and let all those horrible things happen to you."

"It's fine," I smiled. "I won't push you to do anything you don't want to do."

"Yeah, but when this is over and she figures out who I am…"

"Or your net worth," I added, taking a sip of my lemonade.

"Well, yeah! She'll want to be in our lives then, but I don't think I'll ever be comfortable having her around our child."

He didn't have to tell me this. I don't want her in my life. "It'll be fine. I don't want her around our baby."

"You might change your mind," he countered. "She's your mom."

"And she had a chance to be just that and protect me but she chose to lie and take me away from a parent that could've loved me and not let anyone hurt me. I'm so fucked in the head, Jasper! I can't even…I don't want her near our baby."

Jasper hugged me. "Let's forget it. We'll cross that bridge when we reach it."

The rest of my day ended with Esme, who we ran into after we left the park. We sat down with her for a while and had a talk. She was pleasant and wanted to remind that she was here for me.

Jasper tried to excuse himself, but I wanted him to stay. We talked about my decision to leave and Jasper's decision to give me space. We learned that it was hard for the both of us. Esme pointed out the hard fact. I was afraid of James, but it was because of my abuse. I was used to it. I used to him winning. And we would have to deign working on that.

I would see her at the end of June for a progress report and then under the watchful eye of Zafrina and Carlisle, we were going to start the hard part of my therapy. We were going to tackle the past and the abuse I endured at James' hand.

**~~abt~~**

"I'm scared."

"Why?"

"Your sister wants to see me."

Jasper chuckled in disbelief. "So?"

"Have you met your sister?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "She's demanding and loves things her way. If you don't stand up for yourself, she'll get away with it too. She's fiercely protective of family. And she'll hurt anyone who hurts us. She also likes to pretend she's the older one sometimes."

"Aren't those enough reasons for me to run and hide?"

"No," Jasper said, pulling me along. "She likes you!"

"Yeah, that's comforting!"

Rose and Emmett had gotten home this evening and she wanted to see us. I didn't want to. Jasper thought I was being silly. I wasn't. I was scared. I was wrong and I didn't want to look into his family's eyes and see disappointment there. Especially Maria's. She had opened her home to me. Stood up for me. Allowed me to love her son. How did could I do it? I don't want to face her.

"Bella…" Jasper stopped us at the entryway of the main house. I could hear laughter coming from the kitchen. "No stress. You're over thinking things."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "You're right. Let's do this."

I stepped over the threshold into the kitchen. "Hey everyone," I said to the occupants of the room. All eyes turned on me. But they weren't what I was expecting. They weren't filled with judgment, scorn or anger. They were filled with relief and love, especially Maria. She came right over to me and hugged me. I held on to her for a long while.

Rose ran over to us, pulling Jasper into a hug and then she turned to me. She hugged me after Maria moved away.

"I'm sorry for leaving," I said when I pulled away from her. I was saying it to all of them. "I thought if I left, James wouldn't see Jasper as a threat and he wouldn't want to hurt him. I didn't stop to think how much I was about to hurt Jasper, you guys and myself."

Rose spoke up, "It's good you figured it out. And don't do that shit again. Running will get you killed. That bastard wants to win and we can't let him. Think about us next time. Think about the baby. I swear to God, Bella, we're gonna throw down the next time you try this."

I swallowed hard, and said with as much bravery as I could muster, "Bring it on."

Everyone laughed.

"Cat fight!" Emmett shouted, making them laugh harder while I breathed a sigh of relief.

An hour later, Jasper and I were home in bed, watching movies. 'The Breakfast Club' had just finished.

"Let's watch it again!" I said excitedly.

"Bella…when I said I wanted us to relax, 'The Breakfast Club' wasn't what I was thinking about.

"Oh yeah?" I turned in his arms and kissed him. "What were you thinking about?"

I was asking trouble, but I felt too good to care.

"Let me show you."

A single kiss turned into a passionate embrace until Jasper pulled away to play. He placed the back of his hand against my forehead and said I had a fever and he had the perfect remedy to bring it down.

"What's that, doctor?"

"You have to sweat it out, Ms. Swan." There was something so fucking sexy about the way he said 'Ms. Swan.' My stomach always tightened in anticipation and pleasure when he drawled it the way he did.

"Please help me, Dr. Whitlock," I said in a meek voice. "I'll do anything you say."

He got up and started to strip. "Doctor, what are you doing?"

"The best way to handle this treatment, Ms. Swan, is to do it naked. We'll have a better result that way. Don't you want to feel better, Ms. Swan?"

"Yes, doctor."

I got up and took everything off, loving the way Jasper's eyes roamed my body, and laid back down. Jasper climbed into the bed with me. I pulled him down into a heated kiss. I could feel him, hot and heavy against my hip but I wanted it somewhere else. I tried to move under him so we could be perfectly aligned but Jasper had other things in mind. He jumped away and got off the bed. I frowned at him and he smirked.

"I have to assess you before we begin, Ms. Swan." What he meant was he was going to tease me to the brink and then do something about it before I went fucking crazy.

"Yes, doctor," I replied as I openly stared at him. Jasper was a gift from the heavens. He was sculpted to perfection. He had tight muscles from hard work, well defined abs that made my mouth water leading to a happy trail that led to the most glorious cock I have ever had the pleasure of seeing. It was long, thick and hard.

"Eyes up here, Ms. Swan," he said when I licked my lips while staring at his dick.

"I'm sorry, doctor." I wasn't. I wanted that cock in my mouth or inside me…now!

His brazen smile said he knew it too. But he was playing by his rules. "Now, Ms. Swan, if you'd raise your legs up for me," he instructed. "Yes, that's good. Now, plant the heels of your feet near to your rear and keep your legs wide open just like that. Yes, that's very good, Ms. Swan," he praised. "I see you know what you're doing."

"Yes, doctor." I was the dutiful patient who wanted nothing more than for her doctor to fuck her brains out.

"Now we'll begin."

From then on, Jasper drove me crazy running his hands up and down my body in the most sensual way. I wanted to come from his touch alone. I squirmed and begged for him to do more, but he didn't. Not without me doing something. "What would you like me to do, Ms. Swan?"

"Touch me please…" I breathed, writhing and wanting him to do something. Anything. I needed to come.

"How do you want me to touch you, Ms. Swan?" I snapped my eyes to his. I wanted to scream at him but he looked too good. His glare was smoldering as he sat down beside my opened legs, his finger lingering on the edge of my pussy and I wanted it inside.

"Push your finger inside of me," I said, knowing it was exactly what he wanted to hear. He wanted me to be vocal. "Fuck me with your fingers. Uhh…I want to come. Please, doctor." I never broke character. I liked this game. It was fun, but I needed relief.

"Keep your eyes on me," he ordered.

He kissed me and pushed his finger then fingers inside of me simultaneously. I met his lips with fervor. I devoured his mouth and fucked his tongue the way he was fucking me with his fingers. I wanted to tear my mouth away and scream because he felt so good. In and out. In and out. His fingers were driving me crazy. I was so close. He pulled away and ordered me to come and I did while shouting his name.

"Do you feel a little better, Ms. Swan?"

"Yes, doctor. But I want more." I breathed.

He kissed me again while pinching my clit and my stomach trembled. "I know you do."

He climbed into bed with me. We kissed until he tore himself away to move down my body with slow reverent kisses. I moaned and writhed beneath him. "Doctor…please."

I didn't have to beg for too long. My doctor delivered. He sucked my clit into his mouth, making me scream again. I would probably be hoarse by the end of this but I didn't care.

His mouth moved away and I wanted to curse him. Until he pushed his tongue inside of me.

"Ugh...Jasper!" I grabbed my hair, my pillow, anything I could hold on to while he fucked me with his tongue. "Jasper…uuhh…Jasper…please." What I was begging for, I don't know. I just knew I wanted it.

"Fuck, Bella…you taste so good." He sucked and fucked me with his talented tongue until I came again.

I didn't give him any time to object. "I want you, doctor. Please fuck me."

He crawled up between my legs. "My, my, Ms. Swan. So vocal."

"Yes, doctor."

"Are you sure, Ms. Swan?"

"Yes, doctor…please."

He pushed into me and I shouted for joy. He didn't waste any time thrusting in and out of me with abandon and I kissed him hard for it. We moaned, yelled and screamed in pleasure when we weren't kissing. I clawed at his back, probably marking him, but I didn't care. Anybody could walk in us right now and I wouldn't stop. I was being fucked by the greatest lover I had ever had.

"Oh fuck, Bella!" He drove his cock so deep I saw stars while he broke character. "You feel so fucking good, baby!" I loved how dirty his mouth was when we had sex. "So fucking tight! You've got the tightest pussy I had ever fucked!"

His words, his moves, his cock were all driving me insane with pleasure. My stomach tightened. My toes curled. I was incoherent. I was in fucking bliss. "I want…I want to….Oh fuck!" I screamed and arched into him as my orgasm raced through me at the speed of light. I crashed in euphoria while Jasper followed me over the edge with erratic thrusts that set off another orgasm in me as he shouted my name and came.

He pulled out and collapsed beside me. We laid there, side by side, staring up at the ceiling while heaving gulps of breath until we took one look at each other and burst out laughing.

"What was that?" I asked him.

"Me missing fucking you."

I laughed and pulled him to my lips, kissing him hard.

"You're lucky I can form sentences," Jasper said breathlessly when I pulled away. "I thought I was having a heart attack when I was coming. It felt so fucking good. I don't think I'll ever get tired of fucking you."

I laughed at him again before deciding it was time to completely fuck him up.

I curled into his side, rubbing my naked sweaty body against his. He groaned and warned me but I ignored him. While playing with one of his nipples, I asked in an innocent tone, "Jasper?"

"Hmm?" Looking up at him, I noticed his eyes were closed and his lips were curled up into a smile.

"Do you really mean it?"

He opened his eyes and looked down at me. "Mean what?"

"That I've got the tightest pussy you've ever fucked?"

He chuckled deep. The rumbling sounds of it making his entire body vibrate. "That's the part you remembered after the amazing fuck we just had?" he drawled and my pussy jumped in excitement.

I left his nipple and trailed my hand down to his semi hard cock, grasping and stroking it, bringing it to full attention again. It didn't take much to get Jasper ready again. "I just want to know," I said, sucking his nipple into my mouth.

"Mmm…fuck…you want me to stroke your ego, huh?"

I nodded while batting my eyelashes as I sucked his nipple and stroked his cock. He was grinding against the bed. I knew what he wanted. I wanted it too.

He pulled me from his nipple, holding my face in his hands while he looked deep into my eyes. I didn't let go of him. I wanted him to come again. "Baby, you're the most amazing woman. You're a wildcat in bed and you've got the tightest, sexiest pussy I have ever licked, sucked and fucked."

I gave him a deep wanton kiss on his lips, leaving him breathless. "Good," I said and then moved down between his legs. I took the head of his dick into my mouth, sucking it hard and fast before releasing him. Jasper was gasped and threw his head back against the pillows. I took him back into my mouth, sucking him in earnest before releasing him again. I licked the underside of his cock the way he liked, reveling in the taste of him on my tongue. It was sweet, salty and all Jasper. His stomach contracted while I ran a hand up and down it. He shouted expletives when I took him back into my mouth and swallowed around him. A guttural moan left him while I bobbed my head up and down his penis and he screamed my name, "Bella!"

It felt powerful to have him at my mercy. "Bella, baby…uuhh fuck…I want to come…uuhh…" he moaned. "Baby, I'm gonna come…" he warned, but that was what I wanted.

"Bella!" He shouted and came down my throat.

He relaxed and came down from his high while I licked his softened cock, cleaning it before going to lie down beside him.

"What was that?"

"Me missing fucking you," I teased and he laughed.

He closed his eyes and I thought he was asleep. "Baby?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you move away when I said I was coming?"

"Why would I?"

"I didn't want the…my cum to upset you."

"Why would it upset me?" I didn't get it.

But concern filled Jasper's eyes when he opened them to me. "The baby. I don't want to upset your stomach." He was so sweet.

"I don't feel that way, but if you're scared, we'll work something out."

He seemed pleased. "Okay."

I rested my head on his chest until hunger stroke. "I could go for something to eat?"

"What do you want?" Jasper asked.

"Some fried chicken and peanut butter sounds good right now."

He pulled me up so I could look at him and I tried but failed to keep the smile off my face even though I was completely serious about the chicken and peanut butter part as he said seriously, "Bella, you're not putting peanut butter on the fried chicken, I forbid it!"

I laughed in his face and he chuckled at his own absurdity.

"I'll eat the way I want to eat and you'll love me for it," I said with confidence. "Besides, it's the baby who wants fried chicken smothered in peanut butter."

"Ugh!" Jasper made a face and I laughed.


	49. Heartbeat

_**AN: Visit to Zafrina and baby's heartbeat.**_

_**Chapter forty eight: Heartbeat.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bella, May, 2011…<strong>_

It was daybreak but I didn't want to open my eyes. Everything in me didn't want to leave the blissful dream I was having behind. Jasper was naked and ready to do very naughty things to me. Something soft and wet touched my lips. A finger parted them and something sweet was placed into my mouth. I sucked on it, moaning at the taste of the tangy fruit. Jasper groaned and buried his head into my shoulder.

"I love it when you make sounds like that."

"Really?"

"Mmm…" He laid soft kisses along my neck. "They're bound to get you in trouble though."

"They will?" I asked, knowing he'd make good on his threat as I ran my hand up his thigh, palming his thick cock before he moved away and I pouted.

"Now, that's gonna get you kissed."

"Please do." He fed me his lips and they were as sweet and tangy as the fruit he had pushed into my mouth. He moved away and I chewed the cherry.

"Do you want more?" he said huskily, his soft breath fanning my ear.

"Yes," I whispered breathily, stroking him. I could feel his dick pulsating beneath my touch.

"Oh Bella…" he groaned and moved away again.

"What?" I said innocently. He started this.

"Behave."

"We both know you don't want me to."

He chuckled deeply and heaved a sigh as he fed me another cherry. "You're so beautiful," he said, letting me bite into a strawberry after the cherry. I moaned at the sweet taste of the strawberry and at his words. I opened my eyes to find him staring at me and ran a hand down his cheek.

"How did I get so lucky?" I asked him.

"I'm the lucky one."

"To find a girl that causes so problems?" I chuckled sarcastically.

"You're more than worth it."

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

"Why?"

"Because you're the best thing that ever happened to me. Because you make life sweeter and more exciting. Because you keep me on my toes. Because you've been challenging me from the moment you fainted right in front of me. You forced me to feel, to want something more, to think that I deserved more than any woman had ever been willing to give me."

His feelings and the truth behind them shone in his eyes. Now he needed to hear mine. "I'm going to sound cliché and say, you're my knight in shining armor." We chuckled together and I went on. "You're the man I never knew existed, yet you make me feel like you were always there, in shadows, waiting for me to come and find you. You're my rock. You're everything I have always wanted and so happy to have. I'm so sorry for leaving. I was scared to lose you to James. I didn't want a repeat of Garrett. I didn't want someone else dying at James' sadistic hand because of me, and if it had happened to you…I don't know what I would've done. I just know I wouldn't have been able to go on without you."

I needed that. I had to apologize for being foolish enough to leave him. I shouldn't have walked out.

He looked at me with a slight sad expression before covering it with a warm smile. "Don't be. I'm happy to know that I mean so much to you. But I was wrong too, Bella. I was stupid for letting you go. I should've been right out the door and after you the minute you left. It won't happen again. Believe me."

"I do."

"I like those words."

"You do?" I smirked at him.

"Yes, and I hope to hear you say them in a different setting one day," he hinted.

"I hope so too." The thought of being his wife should scare me. It didn't. I trusted Jasper. It was a hard to do, to trust someone, but I trusted him. He would never intentionally hurt me. "I think I'll like being Mrs. Whitlock."

He ducked his head into my shoulder, but not before I caught a look of uncertainty on his face. I pushed him off, wanting to know what the look meant. "Hey, look at me." He played stubborn for a bit, but eventually obliged and met my eyes. "What was that look about?"

He wouldn't say. "It's nothing."

"Jasper?"

"Bella, it's fine."

"It's not fine. Don't play stubborn with me. Tell me."

He sighed. "Bella, are you sure you'll be happy with me? What about who I was? How I used women? What about James? Are you sure you want to take that leap again? That man did things to you. I know I want you to trust me and love me, but I'll understand if you can't. I know you want to. I believe you. But Bella, it's okay if you don't want to marry me. I'm fine just being the man who will always be there for you. The man who will always love you."

I took a minute to just look at him. I felt like I didn't deserve him. Yet, I had him and I wasn't about to let go. "I'm happy to know that you'll be there for me no matter what decision I make in the future," I paused and he held his breath like I was about to deliver bad news. "I have no intention of letting you go. I don't know what the future holds but I know it will be alright as long as you're by my side. I want you."

A single tear fell from his eye. "Are you sure?"

I wiped it away and kissed him. "I'm sure. There is no future without you, Jasper. It's you and me against the world, or in our case, crazed, jealous exes."

He laughed. "I'm happy to have you by my side."

"Good. Now…" I cocked an eyebrow at him, running a finger down his chest. "We're losing sight of the game."

"Yes, we are," he said, leaning forward for a kiss I gladly give him before biting my bottom lip. "I believe you were being fed fruits?"

"I believe I was."

His smile grew as he reached for a slice of pineapple. "Lie down," he ordered gently and I obeyed. I stretched my arms over my head, letting my breasts fill his view. He growled softly and moved down to take a nipple into his mouth, biting and sucking it. I reached down and ran my hand through his thick hair, holding him there. His soft lips and the gentle nibbles against my sensitive nipples felt good.

He pulled away and I pouted. He chuckled softly, "You're so sexy, baby. I love those pouty lips and I'll bite them if you keep doing that."

"Maybe I want you to."

He groaned. "Bad girl."

"You like it."

"I do."

He circled one of my nipples with the pineapple and then put it in my mouth. I chewed a little and then accepted his heated kiss while his cock throbbed against my thigh. When he pulled away, I was breathless. "I want you."

"I want to play."

I frowned because I was so turned on, I wanted to jump him, but he wanted to continue to tease me. He got up and went for the plate of fruits he had on the dresser. I eyed his naked body lustfully, paying close attention to the engorged cock nestled between his strong legs. He caught me looking and smiled and shook his head. I didn't care. I will openly check him out any time.

"Ready again?" he asked as he made his way back to the bed.

"Yes."

I was fed more fruits. I loved the tanginess and sweet taste of all of them, but what I wanted the most was him inside of me. The juices ran down the sides of my mouth as I bit into them and Jasper made quick work of the mess by licking it up before pulling me into hard kisses. He wasn't helping me one bit. If anything, he was driving me insane with lust and a need for him.

"You taste good," he whispered.

"You too," I whispered back.

"I wonder if the rest of you taste as good as your lips," he pondered aloud like he didn't already know. I think I should find out." The man's mouth was a gift.

He put a piece of fruit in his mouth and trailed it down my stomach. He stopped at my navel, dipping the fruit there. I moaned loudly and a strawberry was shoved into my mouth to silence me. I didn't even know he had reached for it. The man was a magician.

He took his time worshipping me when he finally reached where I wanted him. He sucked on the fruit and my pussy while I writhed and moaned beneath him. He sucked and licked until I came for him. While I was still shaking from the intensity of my orgasm, he climbed between my legs and laid there watching me. He leisurely continued to feed me the last of the fruit, and after the last strawberry, I licked every one of Jasper's fingers, mimicking the way I would suck his cock.

"You're pretty when you want me," he said, pushing his cock inside of me and starting to move. His thrusts were slow and teasing while he taunted me with what I wanted. Then again, his words were powerful enough to be driving me hard and fast toward another mind blowing orgasm. What did this man do to me? My body was so responsive to him. "Bella?"

"Huh?" It was all I could come up with as the sharp snap of his hips made me moan and buck my hips. I wanted him to do it again.

"You have the prettiest, tastiest pussy I have ever sucked on."

"Yeah?" I was almost there.

"Yes….strawberry flavored Bella." He moved his hand down between us, fingering my clit while his thrust grew harder and faster. "Bella?"

"Yes?" He was rocking us hard. He was fucking me hard and it was exactly what I wanted.

"I want you to scream for me."

He didn't need to say it. I was already there. I arch into him and screamed as pleasure began to climb.

"Come, Bella. Scream for me."

"Uhhh!" My back was off the bed. I wanted it. I could feel it. I was right there. "Jasper…I…uh…ahhh!"

"That's it, baby."

"Jasper…I…" His coaxing. His thrusts. His finger stimulating my clit. It was all too much, and soon, I was flying. My body convulsed with a strong orgasm. It ripped through me, shattering me and left me sensitive and limp in his arms.

Jasper wasn't through with me. He didn't wait for me to come down. He rode out my wave, gripping my hips and grinding his body into mine; letting me feel all of him. I started to climb again. And when I began to soar, it triggered his own orgasm making him thrust erratically into me before he stilled and emptied himself into me. He collapsed, half on me, half on the bed.

The room was spinning in the best way. I felt high off of love and the post coital glow Jasper caused. I grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into a deep kiss, devouring his mouth. I conveyed all the love and passion I had for him in that one kiss and then released him. He stared at me, breathless but smiling for a few seconds before his beautifully curious mind took over and he asked, "What was that for?"

"For you being you, and for being such a good fuck."

His eyes bugged out making me snort and he dissolved in laughter. "I don't think I've ever been complimented like that before," he said, trying to contain himself.

"Yeah?" I loved shocking him. It was fun.

"Never." He smiled.

"Get used to it."

"Yes, ma'am."

We laid there for a while in our sticky mess with no thoughts; just uninhibited bliss before reality sunk in with Jasper reminding me that we had an appointment with Zafrina today.

From then on, it was a slow pace. We got up, cleaned up, with Jasper carrying the sheets downstairs to the laundry room, while I headed to the bathroom to start the shower. He joined me after loading the sheets into the wash and we had a little fun in there. There was no sex. It was just making out, gentle touches, and a few jokes.

When we got out, we made the bed together with the new bedding Jasper picked out of the linen closet, got dressed, and went downstairs. Sue came over with the pancakes and eggs she had made and I almost ate it all, including Jasper's share. They laughed at me, but I didn't mind. I was hungry and eating for two or maybe it was nervous eating. I have been avoiding Maria since I got back. After running away, I was convinced I was now on her bad side.

Sue and Jasper have been trying to get me to think otherwise, but I was still scared. Maria had stuck her neck out for me when I first got here, and this was how I repaid her? By falling for her son and as soon as trouble came knocking, I ran away. She has got to be pissed off at me. I don't care what Sue and Jasper say, I would want to confront the person who hurt my child.

After breakfast, Sue shooed me and Jasper out the door saying she will take care of the dirty dishes to the bedding in the wash. She winked on the latter and I yelled, "It's just fruit!"

Jasper snorted and faked a cough. Sue plastered an innocent look on her face and said, "I wasn't going to imply otherwise."

I narrowed my eyes at her and she laughed.

The drive to Zafrina was spent with Jasper trying to reprimand me. I was feeling mischievous and playful and kept trying to palm his crotch when he stopped at stop signs or the red light in town.

"Bella, behave." He was trying and failing miserably to sound serious. "I know what you're thinking, Swan, but no more. Zafrina would kill me if you were brought into the emergency room suffering from dehydration and exhaustion due to strenuous activity." I pouted at his logic. Then again, Zafrina would have his head. Would be kind of fun to watch. "I can see what you're thinking. I know you'd find that shit funny."

I laughed and he rolled his eyes at me and chuckled. He moved off when the light turned green and I took the opportunity to start making small circles on his upper thigh as he drove through town. He huffed in mock annoyance, because I knew he loved the attention. "Fine. Since that's not going to stop you. What about Momma? She would have my balls if something happened to you."

I stopped laughing and moved my hand to my lap. "Yeah, she probably would. She doesn't want anything to happen to her first grandchild."

"Or you, Bella."

"That's still up in the air."

Jasper sighed and focused on driving. When we got to Zafrina's private practice, which wasn't too far from Jasper and Emmett's practice, he parked the car and killed the engine. He sat back, looking at me intently until I became uncomfortable under his gaze and met his eyes. "Jasper, your mom is…I doubt she's going to forgive for my fucked up split decision to run."

"Momma isn't like that. She understands," he said, rubbing my shoulder in comfort.

"I don't know."

"I know. I know her. I'm telling you, baby, she understands. Momma knows your fear of James better than the rest of us. She's felt something similar." He had a point. Maria knew these emotions. These reasons to make impulsive decisions.

"I know, but this one involved her son, so I don't think she'll agree with the decision I made to leave you."

"Only one way to find out."

"I'm not talking to her." I wouldn't do it. I could hide. Whitlock Ranch was huge.

"You can't hide from her. You two need to talk." He leaned over the console and kissed my hair and then my cheek. "When you were gone, she came by the house to rip me a new one. She said you were scared and thought you knew James better than anyone. She said you thought if he came after you, then you could keep him away from the family, especially from me. At the time, I thought she was talking shit, but I see the truth in her words now."

"Then you understand why I did it."

"Yes, but I'm going to tell you something," he said with a smile that didn't reach his suddenly cold eyes. "It wouldn't have worked, Bella. If he had found you, I would've found you both and I would kill him. There is no pleasant ending for James in that scenario. He wouldn't get a chance to rot in prison somewhere. He would've died by my hand. Do you understand?"

He should scare me. When he was this cold, it should send me running, but I only wanted to pull him close. I threw myself into his arms and he enveloped me in a warm hug. I breathed him in and with a kiss to his neck, I whispered, "I love you."

We got out of the car with Jasper in a better mood. He took my hand and we walked into Zafrina's private practice together. I had spotted Sam parking his SUV a little down from our vehicle and smiled. I felt safe knowing he was watching our backs. Zafrina's office was filled today and all eyes were on us when we entered the waiting room. Some couples nodded in 'hello' while I heard whispers from others and felt their eyes on us. Jasper was oblivious to it. He didn't care.

"Eyes are on us," I giggled to him.

He smiled and leaned in, his soft breath making me gasp. "I see them, but I've only got eyes for one woman and she's holding my hand. If she behaves nicely, I'll probably consider rewarding her tonight. She does have the sweetest pussy I have ever sucked on."

Who gave a shit what they thought when he was whispering things like that to me. I lost all feeling in my legs due to his words. They were jelly all the way to my seat. I shamelessly leaned on Jasper for support and we took our seats across from a nice couple, who were apparently patients of Jasper's. They greeted us and after I had somewhat regained control over my thoughts, the wife and I fell into a pleasant conversation while Jasper spoke to the husband. They were Max and Lillie.

Lillie was seven months pregnant and filling me in on what to expect. Our conversation briefly stopped when Zafrina's office door opened, and one of the girls that was with Alice at Rose's bachelorette party, emerged. Her eyes widened in shock and then she pretended to look indifferent when she saw us staring at her. She smirked at Jasper, or tried to give him some sort of sexy look, but sneered at me. I was tempted to give her the finger or stick my tongue out at her, but refrained. Jasper looked chuckled and I turned to see him staring at me.

"You can give her the finger if you want."

"What?" I tried to sound shocked. The couple giggled and the girl huffed and pouted at Jasper.

He was looking straight at her, but he bumped my shoulder and continued to tease me. "Go ahead. I'm not stopping you."

"You're so bad." She made a sound and walked away while we laughed.

"Yeah, but you like it." He winked at me.

The couple was laughing with us and I blushed and buried my face in Jasper's shoulder.

Zafrina called the nice couple in her office next.

"I could go for a burger right now."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Maybe two of them with two soda and two orders of fries."

"Bella…" Jasper warned.

"What?" I shrugged. "I'm hungry."

"You just ate."

I scoffed at him and rolled my eyes. "So? That was like hours ago."

He rolled his eyes and laughed. "You mean it felt like hours ago."

"Whatever!"

"We'll get it after this." He kissed my cheek.

"Cool."

Jasper shook his head and laughed again.

It was our turn after Max and Lillie. We said our goodbyes with hopes to see each other in town again. I hoped all went well for them with their pregnancy.

Zafrina was behind her desk when we entered her office. She stopped looking through the file she was reading and greeted us. We took a seat in front of her and she launched into my questions. "How are we today, Bella?"

"Good, but hungry."

Jasper sighed loudly.

Zafrina smiled. "That's expected, what do you feel like having?"

"Two BBQ burgers, two fries and two Pepsi."

Jasper groaned.

Zafrina chuckled while I raised my eyebrow and looked at him. "Jasper will get right on that after your visit. So are we ready for today?"

"More than ready." I was excited. Nervous but excited about what was to take place here today. Jasper told me today we would hear our baby's heartbeat. It was one more proof of the miracle I ran into when I left Sacramento. I wouldn't be feeling this happy if I were still there. I would probably be dead by now. I shook my head and forgot about James. This was about me.

"Good. Before that though, is there anything you would like to discuss?"

I looked at her and Jasper. They both had expectant looks on their faces and I wanted to mess with them. I heaved a sigh and pretended to seriously contemplate her question before answering. Jasper took my silence the wrong way. He looked genuinely worried. "Bella, is there something troubling you, baby?"

I stared straight into Zafrina's eyes and said without an ounce of smile on my face, "I see Jasper as a sex toy."

Jasper gasped. I could see his eyes bulging out through my peripheral. Zafrina was trying to bite back her laughter at my boyfriend's expense. She knew what I was doing and decided to play along. With a straight face, she began to advise, "Bella, that's perfectly normal. You're four months pregnant. Your sex drive is in full swing. I say, make great use of your sex toy."

"What?" Jasper said dumbly, staring between the two of us.

"Why so shocked, Jasper?" Zafrina teased. "Most partners love this stage. It's when their wife or girlfriend's sexual prowess is at its peak. You're a lucky man right now to have a girlfriend who wants to jump you 24/7. Of course, that's within the cautionary limit of Bella's health. We wouldn't want to overdo it, would we?"

"Of course not," I said, smiling with triumph.

"O-okay," Jasper mumbled nervously. Where did my sexually confident boyfriend go? He was here this morning. I loved nervous Jasper though. He was so cute.

"What about weird cravings?" Zafrina asked. "Any of those yet?"

Jasper perked up for this one. I knew exactly what he was going to talk about. "Last night, she ate the fried chicken Sue made smothered in peanut butter."

"I don't understand," Zafrina said while I giggled.

"I used the peanut butter as a dip for the chicken."

"Oh!" Zafrina laughed. "I had a thing for gummy bears with everything when I was pregnant. My husband couldn't stand it."

Jasper groaned and sank in his seat. "This is going to continue?"

"Oh, think of it as an adventure with food." Zafrina told us.

Jasper made a face and I laughed.

We had a good conversation. Zafrina asked more questions and gave us advice. Then it was time. She led us to her exam room where the monitor was. I got on the table and Jasper came to stand alongside me. I took his hand, kissing his knuckles. Zafrina warned against the coldness of the gel she had to use and I jumped a little when she smeared it on my bare belly. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes when she turned on the monitor. I was so nervous. Jasper squeezed my hand and I squeezed back, worried about what we'd see and hear. If we would hear anything all, and then…

"There it is," Zafrina said with a happy tone to her voice. I heard Jasper's gasp, and then a loud, fast paced thumping sound filled the room. My eyes popped open and I stared straight at the screen. It was confusing to me. I didn't know what I was looking for but I could definitely hear it. That was my baby. That fast, loud thumping was my baby's heartbeat.

I started to cry. I couldn't think of anything else to do. I just closed my eyes and cried. I felt Jasper's arms around me and I grasped his shirt, crying into his chest. He was telling me how much he loved me. He was thanking me. He was whispering encouraging things to me while I thought about how far I have come. "If I hadn't run that night, I wouldn't be here. My baby wouldn't be here." It was the one thing I could remember saying to him and Zafrina because everything else was a happy blur. We got recordings of the heartbeat and pictures of my…I don't know…blip and then I practically ran out the door and headed for Sam's truck. He got out, all concerned and I thrust the picture in his hand, smiling broadly.

"Congratulations," he said and I pulled him into a hug and started crying again.

When Jasper finally got me into our car, he explained how happy Zafrina was for us and he gave me our next appointment date since I ran out before hearing it. We drove to the burger joint where I got my two BBQ burgers, my fries and Pepsi and three slices of apple pie. Jasper shook his head and laughed while I ate happily all the way home.

When he pulled up in front of the house, I froze. My happiness was on pause. Maria was standing at the front door. I sighed heavily and glanced over at Jasper. His expression was saying it was now or never. I couldn't hide from her as Jasper had said, so I should take my berating and be done with it. I know I was stupid for running and I guess she won't forgive me, but so be it. Besides, I had to get inside the house anyways since I wanted to get dinner started. I was too happy to be kept down. I heard my baby's heartbeat today and now she wanted Honey-Ginger chicken thighs with steamed rice for dinner and a Coconut cake for dessert. I told her father that on the way home.

"Bella, it'll be okay," Jasper said as I held on to the car door. He knew I wanted to jump out of the car and bolt upstairs and hide under our covers from his mom. She was just standing there, staring at us. It was creepy but I had to do this. The faster we get this over with, the faster I'm inside the house and happy again about my baby's heartbeat. It was so fast!

Maria was unmoved. She kept her stance, watching us. "She's mad at me."

"I'm telling you, she's not." Jasper opened his door and got out of the car. I was tempted to jump over the console, slam his door shut and hightail out of here, but he had already killed the engine and took the keys out of the ignition, so with a heavy sigh, I got out of the car and started for the house with purpose. Maria's face was masked with anger. Her gaze was piercing my soul. Jasper got to her first, but she surpassed him and headed straight for me. I froze on the spot. "Maria, I'm so…" She held her hand up.

"Don't. Just don't do anything like that again, Bella. You're not going to get over that monster if you keep letting him run your life. You'll never know true power over self if you don't exercise some faith in your strength and will to survive as well as the people around you who love you to death. If that bastard had gotten his hands on you…" Her voice was rising as she got angrier. "He would've killed you. Do you understand what that would've done?"

"I know, and I…"

"No. I don't want to hear it."

"Momma…" Jasper's voice was hard. He was ready to step in and defend me.

Maria held her hand up to him. This woman feared nothing. "Do you know how much I would've lost if James had been smart enough to get his hands on you?"

"Your grandchild?"

She scoffed at me and I wanted to cry. Maybe she didn't see the baby as her grandchild. Maybe she was now sorry she had ever helped me. "No, Bella. Not only would I have lost my grandchild, I would've lost you. That's what you would've done to me. To the family. I love you and I would've lost the daughter my son has given me. I can't lose you, Bella. We've come too far. I love you, my little darling so don't do that again. When Jasper's being stupid, come to Momma." She pointed at herself. "I'll straighten his ass out. When the world is bearing down on you, come to me, we'll sort it out. Understand me, little girl?"

I was blubbering by the time she stopped talking. I threw myself into her arms. "I understand. I love you too. I'm sorry."

We stood there and had a good cry. When we parted, she wiped my tears away. "Good," she said with a smile.

We walked to the house together, my happiness restored, while I told her about hearing the baby's heartbeat. She was overjoyed to hear about it. I begged her to stay for dinner and she obliged.

Later in the night, I crawled into bed beside Jasper, wrapping myself around him. I sighed happily when I thought back to how wonderful today was. Dinner turned out fantastic. Maria stayed as she had promised to. We talked animatedly all through the preparation of our meal. Together, we teased Jasper, and she expressed how happy she thought his dad would have been to see him so happy and in love. She said his father would've been excited about Jasper becoming a father. She said it was something they used to discuss and Jasper's dad was all for becoming a grandpa when the time was right for his children. Jasper looked happy and sad to hear this. I cheered him up by telling Maria he was my life and our baby would be loved and cherished like I had always hoped to be. He kissed my forehead.

He and his mom helped me prepare dinner, or followed my instructions since Jasper wouldn't let me lift the pots on the stove. He watched me like a hawk. I enjoyed his attentiveness.

As my eyes started to droop, and as I listened to Jasper's sound breaths, I realized how lucky I was. I won't endanger my family again. Whatever I do from here on out will be in the defense of them. I was ready to fight. No matter whom my opponent may be.


	50. Hello, Renee

_**AN: Renee comes to town.**_

_**Chapter forty nine: Hello Renee**_

_**Jasper, July 4th, 2011…**_

* * *

><p>She was laughing at something my sister whispered to her. She looked over at me and winked. I winked back. She looked radiant. Her long summer dress was flowing around her ankles and she had opted to go barefoot. She loved it. She hated shoes now and only wore them when necessary. Momma walked up to her and they hugged. They parted and Momma placed a hand on Bella's growing stomach. Six months. She was six months along. Our child would be here in three months if all went well.<p>

I couldn't believe I was here. I was in a relationship with someone who loved me unconditionally, someone who would do anything to protect me, including sacrificing herself, even if I would never agree with her for it. Nevertheless, Bella would do it if she thought it was the right thing to do. She was headstrong. It was a trait I adored, even though it annoyed me sometimes.

Tanya joined them now and they were all huddled together, looking over at me while whispering, pointing and smiling. I didn't care. I could tell what was being said. 'Jasper's watching you, Bella.' 'Jasper isn't going to let you go anywhere without him, Bella.' 'He's overprotective.' 'He really loves you.'

All of the above were right. I wouldn't try to deny it. I thought, felt and would do any of that shit. It meant having a happy and safe Bella in my life. I didn't want her to need anything. I didn't want her to be afraid of me. I didn't want her to think about James showing up and ruining the life she was living. We would find a way to get rid of him. Bella had already signed the divorce papers. And we'd be rid of him when he signed his portion of it. After he'd consented to the proceedings, Peter and Edward jumped at the opportunity to have the papers drawn up and then have Bella sign them. She cried so hard that day I had to call Esme. She trembled and cried in my arms until she passed out. It was frightening. My heart stuttered in beats that day. I was so worried. But Esme said she needed it. Bella needed to express herself that way because signing the divorce papers signified her freedom.

Until the letter came.

Since James knew where Bella was, he took the advantage of sending her an apology letter through their lawyers. I blew up at Edward and Peter for delivering it. And Bella blew up at me in their defense. She was a force to be reckoned with sometimes.

The thing was three pages long and held his detailed apology for all he had done to Bella. He stated how much he loved her. How he would be willing to get help if she came back. How he would love and treasure her if she returned to him. How he would never hurt her again. He stated how he realized his mistakes in her absence and he had been lost without her. He told her he had been worried about her, frightful for her safety out there, by herself while she ran from him. He thought someone would've hurt her and he would've blamed himself, because it would've happened because of his stupidity and that forced him to wake up and see his mistakes. It burnt him to the core.

Bella read the whole thing to me, Momma, Peter, Edward, Esme, Sue, Rose and Emmett. She laughed, cried, got angry at his false words and then she told us she needed a moment alone. I found her in the stables an hour later, because not only was worried about her and how his words had affected her, but I also couldn't stay away from her. That hour killed me.

I found her in the stables, sitting on a pile of hay, staring out the doors at the setting sun. She turned and gave me a watery smile when she heard me approaching.

"He doesn't mean any of it and it hurts so much, Jasper," she said with tears running down her face. I went to her. I sat down beside her and pulled her quivering body into mine. "I want those words to be true. I want him to actually be sorry for what he did to me. But he's not. I know him. I spent six years with the bastard, Jasper." She was getting angry. Her moods were all over the places these days. "He doesn't mean any of it. He's hoping I'm the same. I'm still afraid of him. I'll believe his lying ass and run away from you. He wants to hurt me. He'd kill our baby, Jasper. He'd rip her from my womb. I know him. He's a monster."

She said everything I believed to be true. James Carter was a monster and we needed to get rid of him. No one beside the people who justified this son of a bitch's attitude as okay would miss him. People like his father, Caius. He raised James to be the way he was. Bella and I had a joint session with Esme where she had explained.

Esme had asked about the family and Bella told us Caius knew what his son was up to. He believed women should know their place and that their only job was to please their husbands no matter the cost. Their dignity, their freedom, none of that crap mattered. They lived to please their husbands. It was the most backward, cruelest shit I had ever heard.

She went on to shock us.

"Caius has hurt me." My heart plummeted and Bella looked ashamed. "He…he…he touched me. It was about two years into my marriage to James. I told James like the fool I was and he hurt me while screaming at me. He said I was a liar. When he saw his father again, he had invited him over for dinner, he asked him if what I had said was true. I shook so hard at the table. I wanted to run. Caius admitted it with a smile. He said he had found me attractive and if I wasn't already warming his son's bed, he would have had me for himself. You don't exactly want to hear something like that coming from a person whose wife committed suicide to escape him."

The entire family was sick. James killed Garrett because he wanted Bella. Garrett's mom, the only sane one in my opinion, ended her life because of what happened to her son. James' mother killed herself to escape the turmoil and abuse. James' father was as sick as he was and he justified his son's actions. Edward and Peter told me how livid he was at Bella. He came to every proceeding with James. The judge could hardly get a word in sometimes. Caius dragged Bella's name through the mud. He called her every name in the book.

Bella learned all of this through them, and I was pissed off at them for telling her, but she had insisted. She said she needed to hear. I argued about our child and how listening to the bullshit wasn't good for the baby. So Tanya came to stay with us for awhile. She was Bella's relief. She kept her smiling. Even me sometimes. I was so stressed out by the proceedings I wanted to go up to California and stick my fist down James' lying throat most days. I had nightmares. I was restless. Rose learned of it and talked me out of making a big mistake.

I had been in Dad's old office. I had just gotten off the phone with the pilot. I wanted the family jet fueled and ready to go.

"You can't." Rose said, from her spot by the door. She walked into the office and closed the door behind her. "It would kill Bella if you went up there and got yourself in any more trouble because of James."

I scoffed at her. I felt brazen enough to think I could get away with it. I was actually glad to be wealthy at the moment. My wealth could allow me such a privilege. I wanted to destroy him, but Rose wouldn't let me. "Quit being stubborn and think about Bella. Why do you think she's made so much progress? Why do you think she's doing any of this? Why do you think she listens to Zafrina and Momma and Esme about her health and the health of the baby? Why do you think she loves us?"

"There's a point in there somewhere, right?"

Rose shook her head at me. "She does it for you." She walked away without another word to my stupid ass and I was left dumbfounded with a sudden need to kick myself. Bella did all of what she did, even leaving me, because she thought it was right for me. She didn't want a repeat of Garrett. I understood. She didn't want James to hurt me because of her.

I cancelled my plans and decided to stay by Bella's side. It could work out another way. Some way that equaled me winning. I would let James come to me. I was ready for him. Since he saw Bella as a possession, I have to unfortunately stoop to his level and let him realize that she belonged to me now. It was a good plan and once I had formulated it, things got easier for me. I was less pissed off. I became happier about sitting back and letting Edward and Peter handle things. I was happy with letting Sam protect Bella. And with Mr. Jenks keeping tabs on James, his nutball ex-sister/lover Vicky, and his sadistic father. All that shit was taking me away from what matters most; Bella and our baby.

With extra time on my hands, I made a calendar to monitor our child's growth. Bella thought it was cute at first and then she started teasing me about it. She came into my office and saw me marking the calendar on the day she turned six months pregnant. I had a wide grin on my face as she stood at the door, eyeing me and the calendar.

"How long are you going to do that for?" Bella asked, biting into an apple. She loved fruits but hated vegetables.

"Until the baby gets here, darlin'." I smiled at her.

She laughed. "You're such a dork."

"You still love me though, right?"

"Forever." She kissed my cheek and left the room.

I knew I could be annoying sometimes with the constant monitoring and making sure she's eating healthy. But it was better than thinking about James. Bella thought I was a nerd for keeping tabs on everything but I didn't care. I loved it. It was a healthy distraction. One night over dinner, Bella said she understood why I did the things I did.

"Why?" I put my fork down, interested into what answer she'd come up with.

She continued eating, letting me stew. When I was about to ask again, she said, "All of this is healthy. Thinking about our baby, thinking about me, it keeps you from going after James. I know you have a darkness. I know it's worst than James'. I also know you'd never intentionally unleash unless push to. But I would be happy if you didn't need to. If you never had to go down a road like that again."

"I don't want to," I whispered to her. I meant it. I didn't want to revert to being the evil I knew I could be, just because of a pathetic son of a bitch like James. "But if I'm provoked…" I let the rest of the sentence hang. I was sure she understood what I meant.

"I know and I would be here. I won't run from you. I would support you. You'd need me to find your way back, right?" Bella gave me timid smile as she was unsure if her statement was true.

I smiled at her. "Of course I would. You're possibly the only one who could. I love you, baby."

"I love you too."

Bella was right. I don't want to, but if provoked, I would go down that road again. Down that road, I was nothing but a monster and I wanted to keep it away from Bella for awhile.

I wanted to live in the moment with the new Bella. The outspoken, loved to have music, rap or hip hop or country, anything that suited her mood, blasting while she did the laundry or cooked Bella. I wanted her to leave those activities to someone else, but I got shouted at the day I suggested it and then I was cut off and kicked out of our bedroom. I was pouted at, scoffed at when I asked a question, and a pair of sexy dark brown eyes was rolled at me on a constant basis until I apologized and said I was sorry for even thinking of suggesting something so stupid. I was then hugged, kissed and welcomed back into our bedroom where I was fucked within an inch of my life. I swore my heart nearly stopped.

Bella could be insatiable when it came to sex. When she was in a good mood, I had to hide at times. I thought I could handle it, but she had this unnatural energy and it was directed at me and my cock.

"Where are you?" She was smiling down at me with a plate of food in her hands.

"Everywhere and nowhere," I smiled up at her.

"Here." She gave the plate to me and sat down beside to me, bumping me with her shoulder. "Everyone's saying you're just sitting over here, watching me."

"I like watching you," I said to her, kissing her cheek and loving how her blush heated it when I moved away. "You're beautiful. I can hardly take my eyes off of you."

"Charmer," Bella said, shaking her head. "How did I ever end up with a guy like you?"

"You fainted for me."

She laughed and slapped my shoulder.

"Oww!" I rubbed the spot, pretending it hurt.

"Oh shut up," she scoffed. "You're strong. You're hardly felt that."

"Admiring my body again, Bella?" I waggled my eyebrows at her.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "You wouldn't like it. You think I'm uber attracted to you right now. I've got ranging hormones, Jasper. You sure you want to fuck around and say things like that to me? I might jump your bones in front of the family."

"Tanya's been talking again?" I was going to kill my cousin. She overheard me and Bella talking the other day and she ran and gossiped to Momma, Rose and Edward. He told Peter who hasn't stop teasing me about being afraid of Bella.

Bella nodded. "She loves it. She finds it funny that you've got to ask for a day away from sex since you were such a sexual deviant."

I took a bite of the food. The Barbeque ribs were good. Then again, Bella had a hand in the preparation of this meal. Of course it would taste delicious. She and Sue worked their butts off on the entire Fourth of July meal for our family. The rest of family had flown in for the day's activities. It was games, food and fun. Fireworks were coming up later. Momma and I had offered to have caterers come in and do the whole thing, but my girlfriend didn't like that suggestion at all. In fact, her death glare shut me up and left Momma take the heat. When she realized I wasn't contributing to discussion and Bella was glaring at me like a wild animal about to attack, she backed off and laughed at me. She said I was getting the hang of things and things might be different by the third baby since she wanted more grandkids. I wanted more kids too, but was Momma right? Would things really be different? Or would Bella become psychotic by then?

"What's up?" She placed a hand on my shoulder, rubbing it gently. "Where did you go now?"

"Do you think that?"

"Think what?"

"Aren't you…are you okay with being with a sexual deviant?"

Bella scoffed and shook her head. "Are you okay with being with an abused, traumatized woman?"

I smiled. She always countered with things like this. "Yes. But I wasn't…"

"The nicest guy when it came to girls," she countered. "You were searching for something you thought you'd find between their legs; a release from your demons. And not to blame them, but they didn't tell you no either. They wanted you as much you wanted to use them. You weren't in the best frame of mind. You weren't crazy. You just shouldn't have been doing what you were doing." I just stared at her. It puzzled me how well she understood. "Am I scaring you?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No," I told her. "I just don't get why it's so easy for you to understand me."

She smiled and looked thoughtful for a second. "That's easy."

"Fine, since it's so easy, what is it then?" I chuckled, taking a bite of my biscuit.

Bella plucked a French fry off my plate and ate it. "I'm the woman for you. I'm supposed to know those things."

I laughed out loud. "You're so corny."

"And you love me for it."

"I do." I smiled and she kissed my lips.

The fireworks were good. I watched Bella watch them. I smiled when her face lit up and she clapped. She looked so happy. I prayed nothing would change her mood for the rest of the week if possible. We have gotten to six months and I don't want anything more than the thought of James interfering with her pregnancy. I want a smooth enough journey. She was almost there.

Charlie would agree with me. He and Bella spoke almost daily. While they were both anticipating James' next move, they talked about the things they have missed out on, like time that could have been spent being father and daughter, and a relationship they hoped to build for the future, starting now. Bella was always happy to share what they had discussed with me. She has even spoken to Jake, Charlie's bodyguard. That talk was more of a threat. She swore to him she would go to Forks and literally beat him into the ground if he let anything happen to her father. Sam was proud of her for the phone call, and I was interested in seeing her take him on. Maybe a little turned on too by the prospect of watching her fight someone. A strong Bella was very sexy.

"You've left me again," she said, kissing my bare chest. We'd just made love, but I knew what Bella's gentle caresses suggested now. She wanted to…

"I've got a lot on my mind."

"Like what? Maybe I can help you stop thinking about all those…" she reached down between my legs, wrapping her hand around my cock, stroking it. I gasped and moaned. "…distractions."

I reached between her inviting thighs, loving how wet she was for me. I pushed a finger inside of her and she moaned and grinded her little hips into me. "I'm sure you can."

I took her again because I wanted her. I didn't want to think about anything but her. I hated how scared I felt. The closer we got to the end of her pregnancy, the more fearful I became. I didn't know how to explain it; even to myself. I don't know what has come over me. There was just this thing hanging over my head. And I couldn't get rid of it.

_**July 5**__**th**__**, 2011 **_

"Emmett! You asshole! You fucking cheated! You're a dick!"

"Wow, that's Bella?" Tanya giggled, walking into the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes. "Who else?"

She smacked me on the back of my head. "Don't be a dick. I know who's talking. I meant the cussin', silly rabbit."

I chuckled. "You should've heard her the other day when one of Alice's friends approached us in town."

"What happened?" Tanya jumped up on the counter and grabbed a carrot stick off of Bella's plate, nibbling on it.

"That's for Bella and the baby."

"It's vegetables, Jasper," Tanya said. "She hates them. She's probably going to throw them at Emmett's head."

"Fucking dick!" Bella shouted from the living room and Emmett laughed out.

They have been playing that damn video game since this morning. Damn Emmett for coming over with it.

It was lunchtime and I wanted Bella to have something healthy to eat so I was preparing a nice salad for her. Though Tanya was probably right. She was going to pelt Emmett with them if he won one more time. I should add some pieces of the fried chicken Sue had brought over a while ago.

"You better add a few pieces of the fried chicken to that salad, Chef, or Bella's going to throw the plate at you," Tanya warned. "And while you're doing that, tell me what happened in town with your ex's minions. Bella had neglected to tell moi."

I could still vividly remember how shocked Melanie, Alice's friend's, looked. "Bella picked me up at the practice. She wanted to have lunch. We went out and it was a good lunch. She showed me some things she bought for the baby." Tanya raised a finger. "What?"

"How's ring shopping going or are you going to use Grandma's engagement ring?"

I threw a carrot stick at her and hissed, "I thought I told you never in the house! I don't want Bella to know!"

Tanya rolled her eyes. "She's focused on kicking Emmett's ass at the game they're playing. She isn't hearing shit. How's it going or is it going to be Nana's ring?"

"I want something new for Bella. Nana's ring is beautiful, but it isn't Bella. I have designed the perfect ring for my girl."

Tanya squealed and I threw another carrot at her. "Stop that, you punk! Anyways, I can't wait to see it. Is it ready?"

I nodded. "It's all down to the timing now. I want it to be perfect."

"Life isn't perfect."

I nodded.

"Now! On with the story," Tanya said, clapping her hands together and rubbing them together like a menace at work.

"Anyways, we were leaving the restaurant. I had to pack the bags back into Bella's car since she had insisted on taking them into the restaurant with us. I'd just finished and when I rounded the car, heading to the driver's side, I saw Melanie standing on the sidewalk giving Bella and her swollen stomach dirty looks." I sighed and shook my head, remembering the nasty look on that idiot's face. "Bella followed my eyes and saw Melanie. I thought Bella was just going to ignore her, but she didn't. She stared right at Melanie and asked her what the fuck she was looking at?" Tanya laughed out. "Melanie tried to be rude and I moved to step in but Bella's harsh tongue beat me to it. Before you know it, she and Melanie were in each other's face and Bella was ready to deck her when she said Bella stole me from Alice. I had to lift up my pregnant girlfriend and place her growling, cursing ass in the car while she threatened to knock Melanie's teeth out or make her swallow them since she was probably used to swallowing."

"Holy shit!"

"Exactly. When we drove off, I asked Bella what was that about and she got mad at me, then apologized, and then she started to cry."

"Hormones." Tanya shook her head.

"Yeah." Bella's lunch was ready. I told Tanya to grab a drink for Bella just as the intercom buzzed. I gave Tanya Bella's lunch to take to her and moved to the intercom to answer it, "Yeah?"

Sue's voice came on and it was edgy. "Umm…Jasper, you need to come over here before your mother goes to jail."

"What?"

"We've got a visitor insisting on seeing Bella."

Now I was on edge. "Who is it?"

Before Sue replied, I heard a woman in the background screaming, "Where is my daughter?!"

It couldn't be. She wouldn't be so daring. She wouldn't be so foolish as to come down here to do his bidding. Nevertheless, Renee Higginbotham was here in Henderson.

"I'll be there in a second," I told Sue and cut the connection. I could hear them still playing the game and Tanya hadn't returned so she must be watching them and cheering Bella on. I thought quickly if I should tell her that her mother was here or be selfish and protective and get rid of Renee.

I chose the latter. Bella was going to be pissed at me for it, but this was for the best. I slipped out of the kitchen and headed for the main house. I could hear her mouth as she blasted my mother, Sue and Sam for keeping her in the main house.

"Where is she?" Renee hissed in my mother's face when I walked into the room they were in.

"She's here," Momma said. She had this deadly air of calm about her. I knew that look. She wanted to hurt Bella's mother. Momma has never been afraid to express herself verbally or physically or both.

"Where?!" Renee shouted.

"What do you want?" I asked, making all eyes turn to me. Renee's was filled with scorn and my mother's were telling me to do something quick because she didn't know how long before she attacked the insipid, confused woman in front of her. In fact, she hissed it in Spanish at me and I answered in kind. "I'll handle this, Mother," I said, reverting back to English.

"What do you want, Renee?"

She looked stunned that I knew her name but quickly recovered. "I suppose you're him."

"I'm who?" I disliked this woman. She lied and helped a psychopath hold her child hostage because of her want of money and prestige. "Who am I, Renee?"

Momma gasped and Renee's eyes widened as she stared at someone behind me. She looked at them up and down with a horrified look on her face. When I glanced behind me, I saw Bella glaring at her mother. She glared at me. "You should've told me."

"I didn't want to stress you," I answered immediately. "I didn't want it to be a bad day," I said honestly. "How did you find out she was here?"

"We just walked in," she said, pointing to Emmett behind her. She chuckled and looked at her mother and then back at me. "It's a good thing Tanya had to go somewhere with Rose. They just left."

I nodded toward Momma. "Momma's still here."

Bella smiled at me. It was warm and bright with a blush. Her moods were like a light switch. She bit her bottom lip a little and I wanted to bite it for her. She was so sexy I almost forgot why we were standing here. Even in a simple pair of jeans and a white t-shirt and brown strappy sandals on her feet, Bella was gorgeous.

"You're pregnant?" Renee said in astonishment. "You're really pregnant for him?!"

Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"You don't have to do this," I warned her.

"She can speak for herself!" Renee snapped at me and Momma cursed in Spanish.

"Don't tell me what Bella can and can't do!" I shouted back. Renee's eyes widened and visibly shook at the thunder of my voice. "You don't get that right! Not after everything!"

"You know nothing!" she hissed at me. "My daughter filled your head with crap and you bought it! She was just unhappy in her marriage and took a drastic step. And now you're forcing her to divorce her husband for you!" My God, the woman was insane. "You got pregnant out of spite, didn't you?" She looked at Bella, who has now stepped closer, coming to stand beside me. "Did he rape you, Marie?" This was insane.

Bella closed her eyes and sighed. A tear ran down on her cheek and I begged her again. "Don't do this."

She didn't answer. When she opened her eyes, there was a fire in them. It was unlike anything I had ever seen. It was the side of her that had lain dormant for years. I knew how it felt. I had felt a fire, similar to hers, burning through me the day I killed my abuser/kidnapper.

She was unnaturally calm when she spoke to Renee. "How did you get here?"

"Doesn't matter," Renee slammed her.

"Fine," Bella said. "Why are you here?"

Renee scoffed. "To take you home!"

"I am home," Bella replied in the deadly calm tone. "I've been home since I ran away from hell. I'm not pregnant because I'm spiting anyone. I'm pregnant because I want to be. Despite whatever madness you're thinking. I'm pregnant because Jasper and I had sex and we conceived!" Her voice was rising and so was her blood pressure I could imagine.

"Bella, don't."

She ignored me. She continued to stare her mother down while explaining herself harshly. "And this child, Renee…I'm going to have. No one's making me throw my baby away. How dare you stand there and lie to my face. These people know everything. They know what happened to me."

"Marie, you…" Renee started.

"Bella."

"What?" Renee sneered.

"My name is Bella Swan."

"Your papers…" Renee said confused as to why Bella was referring to herself by her birth name apparently.

"Were changed."

"By who?"

"None of your business."

"Fine…Bella, you need to come with me."

"Shut up, Mother."

Renee gasped. "How dare you! You can't talk to…"

"Shut up!" Bella shouted. Renee looked taken aback. "You're going to listen to me and then you are going to turn around and leave and never come back." We were silent while Renee stared at Bella in disbelief. "Six years, Mother. Six years, I endured James' punishments because it was fun to him. He thought I need restructuring. I needed discipline. I needed a hard hand and a cold touch to keep me in my place. Do you think I told you everything, Mother?" Bella started to walk over to Renee. The closer she got, the more she said. We all listened keenly and I slowly trailed her steps. I was prepared for anything especially a breakdown. This would possibly hit her hard. Maybe Esme would have to have an emergency session with her. I wanted to call her, but I didn't want to leave Bella.

Renee smiled gently at her daughter. "Bella, I'm sure Jasper is helping you stick to all the bad that happened to you so he can keep you here. Since you're pregnant with maybe the heir to their business he has to play nice."

"What?!" my mother shouted. "What the hell?"

Bella held her hand up. "I'll handle it, Maria. It'll be okay." She looked at her mother. "You were saying?"

Renee actually went on. "Bella, you're not that special. You're not that beautiful. You're ordinary. Look at Jasper! He's gorgeous." She shook her head at Bella as if she saw something Bella couldn't see. While I wondered what the fuck she met about my girlfriend not being beautiful. The type of beauty Bella had couldn't be bought from a Cosmetics store or made on a plastic surgeon's operating table. Bella was a natural beauty. "These people are just using you to have that baby and then they'll kick you to the curb and Jasper will move on with the child and some woman who's more his type."

Bella looked at her for a second. She took her in and then smiled. She actually smiled while my head felt like it was about to explode. This was what she lived with? My God. Renee was sick. She should be referred to someone.

Bella waited a little and then she began speaking. "Wow. You're so blind. You wouldn't know love if it bit you in the ass. You're so fucked up."

"How dare you!"

"How dare you, you twisted bitch!" Bella shouted back in a fiery tone. "I took the torture because some part of me, some sick, twisted part of me, thought that you'd be there. It thought that you'd save me. That for once, in your miserable self-absorbed life, you'd be there for me. Your daughter! Your only child!"

"Bella, how dare you?!" They moved so fast toward each other, we missed it. Renee slapped Bella hard across the face. Momma, Sue and I gasped. Sam looked ready to kill. Before we react, Bella beat us all to it. She slapped her mother back. It was so hard Renee staggered back and almost fell on her ass. It was so loud, it echoed off the walls of the foyer.

Bella exploded. I shouted at her to calm down, but she would have none of it. She was too far gone. Fuck the calm. Tears rolled down her cheeks and her body was tense when I touched her. She flashed me off and headed for her mother. She got in her face and started to scream everything as the front door opened and my sister and Tanya and Uncle Liam, who has been working on the construction of our baby's room, walked in.

My uncle had gotten to know Bella over the weeks he'd been here and he liked her very much. He thought she was right for me.

"How dare you! How dare you! You selfish woman! You want me to go back to a man that's going to kill me?! He's going to kill me, Mother. He's going to rip me apart!" Sam went over to Tanya, Rose and Liam, explaining the situation. I was trying to give Bella her moment and decide when to pull her away. She needed to get these things off her chest. "You think that he sent you here, feeding your head with bullshit because he loves me? No, Mother. He wants to punish me. He wants to kill me for leaving him. For embarrassing him. For making his father think he's weak."

"Bella, you're not thinking clearly," Renee's confused ass said.

"You're the one not thinking clearly," Bella told her. "You didn't have to endure it. You never got any of the abuse. The rape. The humiliation. The beatings. You've never been felt up by your father-in-law and then laughed at. You've never made to do things with a woman; this you didn't want to do. Your friend wasn't killed because you didn't like James. You weren't told to wear the shortest dresses and then beaten because other men stared at you." Bella sobbed.

"Please stop," I begged her. Momma wiped tears from her eyes. Uncle Liam was listening intently.

Bella didn't stop. "No, Renee, you weren't raped by your own husband and his friend for a whole afternoon and then when you got pregnant, your husband didn't take you to get an abortion."

"Bella, he was on drugs and he's no…" Renee tried.

"No longer on them so he's alright now and he's ready to love me the way he should have six years ago when he was torturing me for shits and giggles," Bella replied sarcastically. "I don't think so. Please leave, Renee. I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear you. You and James and everyone on his side can go straight to hell. I'm alive because I walked away. No, fuck that…because I ran away!"

Bella turned and left and I was out the door after her. She walked ahead of me, crying. Her body shook with her sobs. I ran up to her and grabbed, spinning her around to me. Letting her collapse in my arms, in tears. I led us to the ground and sat there, letting her cry. I coaxed her. I told her how much I loved her. How happy I am to have her. That she found me. How happy I was for our baby. How I wanted to marry her. I confessed I had ring designed. I told her I had it and was just waiting on the right time to present it to her. I told her the ring was a diamond, encrusted with other little diamonds around it because she was the queen of my world. I tried to be as corny as possible so she would laugh a little and she did. I told her how many carats and she laughed again, telling me I was crazy for it being so expensive. I told her just how expensive and she laughed yet again and said I was insane.

"I'm crazy about you," I said, kissing her tear stained cheeks. "I love you so much."

"I love you," she sniffled amidst her tears.

"Come on." I got up and pulled her to feet. I walked us home. Once inside, I lifted her up and took her upstairs. I placed her on the edge of the bed to sit and went and ran a bath for us. I came back for her. I took her to the bathroom where we undressed while I told her how beautiful she was to me. She made sarcastic jokes about me being the only one who thought so.

"I don't give a shit about what anybody else thinks," I said with vigor. "You're what matters to me."

I kissed her softly, using my tongue to part her lips, invading her mouth to deepen the kiss. She returned my kiss and I eventually pulled away with a smile.

"I love kissing you," I confessed to her.

"Why?"

"You say everything in them," I told her. "I feel cherished when you do it."

She smiled and a tear ran down her cheek. "I should have listened to you. You were begging me to back off and I wouldn't."

"You needed to do it. She should hear those things," I said. "She sat back and let it happen when she should've stepped in."

"You will step in if anyone ever tries anything with our child, won't you?"

"In a heartbeat."

She kissed my cheek. "Thank you."

I nodded and helped her into the warm water after testing it. She scooted up and I got in behind her. I grabbed the washcloth, shut off the water and pulled her back to me. I caressed her body with the cloth, massaging her tight muscles. I wanted her calm. I didn't want anything to happen to her or the baby because of Renee.

I would speak to Jenks later about her. Edward and Peter were going to get a piece of mind for this. How could they allow her to show up unannounced?

"I know what you're thinking," Bella said after a while. We had been lying here…relaxing.

"What am I thinking?"

"You're going to shout at everyone, but please, don't bother," she cried softly.

"Why?"

"Because it's not their fault. It's James'. He knows we're expecting him so he sends my mother. He knew she'd say enough to hurt me and make me question why I'm here. He fed her that crap she was spewing."

"Bella…"

"But I know why I'm here. I know I'm happy. I know I won't leave you," she sobbed.

"Bella…" I placed a hand on her stomach. "I love you."

"I love you too." She curled her body into mine and closed her eyes. We stayed in the water until it turned cold, and then got out. We dried each other off and went to the bedroom. I helped Bella into bed and drew the drapes. I wanted to block out all the light. I walked over to her quivering form under the duvet and climbed into bed with her. I pulled her into my arms and held her until she stopped crying and fell asleep.


	51. Out in the Open

_**AN: The truth is staring you in the face. **_

_**Chapter fifty one: Out in the Open**_

_**James, July, 2011…**_

* * *

><p>I opened the door to Renee looking worst for wear. I would have rather her daughter but she would have to do for now. I plastered my fake, 'I'm clean and sober' smile on my face and invited her in.<p>

"Hello, Renee," I greeted her warmly, hoping the idiot would hurry up and talk and get out of my sight. She sickened me. The easiest part about getting Marie into my life was her needy mother. She was always wanton for connections and the possibility of not living the high life didn't suit her well. Her loving husband had divorced her and it was finalized last month. Yes, she got a hefty sum in alimony each month, but the stigma of 'divorce' still hung over her head. It reeked like a dead animal. She would be nothing without Marie. Without her daughter's marriage to me, and with the accusations Marie's lawyers were throwing around about me being an abuser, and the way my father was slaughtering them in our world, Renee was desperately doing my damage control to help her dying status in high society.

"Hello, James," she said coldly, moving passed me and walking into the living room. What happened in Henderson? What did Marie's lover tell her? I was going to rip his lying tongue out when I got my hands on him. I won't rest until my Marie was back in my arms.

"Are you alright? Can I get you something to drink?" Always be the polite host to my stupid mother-in-law. She had left a few days to go and see if she could convince Marie to come home and I was hoping for success. There were so many little lessons I wanted to teach my wife. I didn't care about the divorce proceedings that had taken place. I didn't care about the dumb bitch of a judge who thought my Marie was free of me and savage ways since she signed her side of the papers. I didn't care about her lawyers breathing down my neck to sign my side of the divorce papers. I will never do it. Marie was mine. Forever. I will never sign it. I don't give a shit about any of them. Marie will be back in my arms and my life…one way or another.

"Yes, I'm fine," Renee said stiffly. What was wrong? What happened in that hick town? Why wasn't Marie here right now, ready to receive my punishment for embarrassing me the way she has? I wanted to scream.

"Where's Marie?" I smiled, my stomach bubbling in anticipation. I missed hearing her little pleas for mercy whenever I taught her a lesson. I had a few things in store to start us off. Especially for being a traitor. For pretending like she didn't like the games we played.

"She's obviously not here, James," Renee huffed at me. Who the fuck was she talking to? I had to keep my cool. She needed me as much as I needed her at the moment. She stayed rich and in good standing. I kept my favorite toy…her daughter.

"Why not?"

"She is with…that family and they won't let her go."

"Are they hurting her?" I've met that bastard. If he dared touched my Marie…

"No," Renee said softly. There was something troubling in her eyes. She had gone soft. Marie's little puppy dog eyes must have gotten to her. She would always open up those brown puppy dog eyes at you and get you to do whatever she wanted. So manipulative. "She's…she thinks she's happy. James, they have manipulated her into thinking you'd hurt again. That you haven't change and now…she's…she's pregnant. That…"

My blood was boiling. "Jasper," I supplied. I was going to rip him to shreds I would torture him before Marie. "They're using her. It's obvious," I said.

"It's what I said, but after she said these horrid things…" Renee looked away from me. She started gazing around the living room.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," she said softly, and then there was that look again when she met my eyes. It was a look I didn't like. "I have to go."

"Why?" I faked a smile even though I wanted to choke her for not delivering Marie to me.

She swiftly walked to the door and opened it. She looked like she was choking. "I'll keep trying. I have to go."

_**Renee, July, 2011…**_

I parked my car in my garage and burst into tears. Mar…Bella's words were ringing in my head. They had rung the loudest the moment I stepped into that house. Into James' house; her prison. For the first time, I saw it as a place of torture. It was cold. So cold. As cold as the man I foolishly wanted to deliver my daughter to because of money. Maria Whitlock was right, I was fool.

After Bella and Jasper had left, it took the tall man named Sam, apparently he was Bella's bodyguard, a guy named Emmett, and another older man named Liam all the strength they had to keep the two younger women who had walked in, in the middle of my argument with my daughter, off of me. They were Tanya and Rosalie. Maria was screaming at them to stop while Tanya threatened me within an inch of my life if I ever set foot in Henderson again. Rosalie screamed at me for being a horrible mother who didn't deserve Bella and she wished me dead.

Maria Whitlock took me to her office and spoke to me. She explained how she felt about me and it was nothing short of what the two girls thought. She was just calmer about it. She told me how she met Bella. She explained all that Bella had been through. She told me about a woman named Esme, who was an excellent therapist. She was helping Bella through her PTSD. I didn't know my daughter had that. She explained about Garrett. The truth about what happened to him. She told me how happy Bella was and then asked me not to return to Henderson if it was not to apologize to Bella and attempt to make up for my past mistakes.

I was then escorted out of town by Sam with Bella's words in my head. Aside from what Tanya, Rosalie and Jasper's mother said, it was Bella's words that haunted me. It was her hatred for me and how she looked at me like I was the most disgusting thing on the face of the earth. That bothered me. Her eyes were alit with rage. She hated me so much.

I didn't wrong her. I was and still am a fool.

Then there was James. The moment I looked into his eyes, I saw it. It was my first time, so everything seemed new. So unreal. His eyes were so cold. Void of the life and passion I saw in Jasper's.

James tried to look welcoming, but I could practically taste his dislike for me in the air. God, the air. The air in that house was thick with hostility and cruelty. He was just waiting. Waiting for me to bring Bella back to him so he could punish her for what she had done. While, in my eyes, I now saw that my daughter had done nothing wrong. She couldn't take it anymore so she ran because I was too dumb to help her. I was blinded by greed.

He was talking. Asking questions about Mar…Bella. He was trying to stay calm. To pretend like he cared about her. He just wanted his toy back. A toy I willingly let him have. When I looked around the living room, I could recall my daughter's words while Jasper fought to pull her back from me as she cried and told me all the nasty things James, his father, and Victoria had done to her. I shivered when I remembered her saying she was raped in the living room all evening by James and his friend. It resulted in a pregnancy he forced her to abort. In that moment, standing in front of her, I bit back my tears. I let the greed fuel me and continued to spout James' nonsense.

I was a horrid mother. I wasn't worthy of my daughter. I was weak. I couldn't have withstood all she had been through.

As I stood there, in that room while he tried to sound like he cared about Bella, I could imagine her crying on the floor. I could imagine the blows he dealt her. I could imagine her weakly and painfully picking herself up from the floor. I remembered turning her away and then telling on her to James. I had been wrong. It was written on the Whitlocks' faces, especially Jasper's. Bella wasn't overreacting as I had told her. I remembered how shocked she looked when I said that crap to her.

My daughter had been telling the truth.

I shouldn't have come here. I should have listened to Phil. He told me not to go through with it. Not to help James. He said it was dangerous. And though it was, and even though it was too late for me, especially for my daughter to forgive me, I was finally seeing the truth. I had given my daughter to the devil and now I didn't know how to free her. The Whitlocks and Jasper have given her a push start. She filed for divorce and signed her portion of the papers and they were protecting her from James. I don't know why they didn't hurt me when I went down there. I guess they expected James which was why he sent me. But enough was enough now. I wasn't going to help him anymore. I knew he was after them, after Bella, and I was stupid enough to try and assist him. I wasn't going to anymore. This would be my apology to Bella. I would help her break the final chain from James. I would make him sign the divorce papers and leave my daughter alone. It wasn't the wisest decision and I was a little too late, but I had to help Bella.

The mistake was out of my yapping mouth before I could stop it, but I didn't know how to handle things yet. And when I told James Bella was pregnant, he looked ready to kill. I should've remembered she said he hated kids. I didn't believe her until I saw the murderous look on his face. Before I left for Henderson, he had told me Jasper was a monster, but as I stood in his presence, I saw through that lie. He wasn't talking about Jasper. When I stood in Jasper's presence, yes, I feared him, but his fiery blue eyes were burning against me because I was there to hurt Bella by telling her to return to hell.

James had been describing himself. He was the devil. Jasper was just protecting my daughter.

My God, she ran away and found what I never gave her. A family. Love.

I entered my empty house in tears. They blinded my vision as I collapsed on the floor and bawled. I wish I could call her and tell her how sorry I was. I wish I could tell her I was happy for her. I wanted to wish her all the best with her pregnancy. I prayed she would have a safe delivery. I hoped she would be…no, Bella will be a far better mother than I could've hoped to be. I wish I could be in the baby's life, but I had dug my grave and Bella wanted nothing to do with me. I had been so wrong and I will spend my last breath fixing it.

_**Jasper, July, 2011…**_

"Jesus…Bella…uh…fuck…just like that…" If I said his name one more time, I was convinced he would appear in front of me. And now would be the wrong time since I was about to come in my girlfriend's mouth and try not to shout her name so anyone in the waiting area or all of downtown could hear me. "Bella…baby!" I might as well give up. This was the damn best thing I have ever felt. I looked down at Bella and she winked at me. Fucking winked at me while she swallowed my cock. I threw my head back against my chair and bit my fist, screaming into it as quietly as I could while coming. I slumped into the chair when she slowed. My body had gone limp. I was of no use to myself. I might as well head home. I couldn't do a thing for the day. I just wanted to go curl up somewhere, preferably in her arms, and fall asleep.

She licked me clean and moved away. The cool of the AC hit my sensitive cock and I felt like coming again. I trembled and she giggled at me.

I leaned forward and dropped my head to the desk with a thud. "I thought you were just bringing me lunch," I said breathlessly. It's what she said over the phone.

"Well, I saw you and…" She let the rest of the sentence hang while she got up and fixed her clothes. She moved so gracefully. I wanted to offer to help her up but my body wasn't working.

For the last few days, Bella has been trying...not trying, but succeeding in learning to feel better since her mother's impromptu visit. Despite Bella's wishes, I did yell at everyone who allowed Renee to get to the ranch without telling me. Bella and I argued about me arguing with them and then we didn't talk for two days. I hated it.

I was right though. I refused to see it any other way. I wanted to be informed on Renee's every move. Bella thought it would stress me out. She said to back off and let Jenks and the others handle it. She told me to focus on work. Go back to the medical practice, resume my shifts at the hospital, do what she loved about me, help people. Don't sit around and let James drive me crazy. I asked her to do the same after speaking with Esme.

We had that talk the day we started speaking to each other again.

It had been lonely without her. I missed her. I couldn't bear going through a third day without talking to her, having her smile at me or hearing her laugh. She was staying in the baby's room on the day bed and it was hard to be around someone who was pretending you didn't exist. Bella was good at silence. I couldn't stand it. I needed her as much as she needed me. So we sat down to a dinner I made, and we talked. We resolved our issues and after agreeing on our terms, with me going back to work and her finding something to fill her time with, while not letting James affect our lives anymore than he should, we apologized and made up.

It was great having her in my arms and in our bed again.

"Where are you going now?"

"Back to work!" she said cheerily.

I picked my head up from my desk, got up and fixed my clothes. Bella was eyeing me. "What?" I chuckled.

"God, I love seeing you in scrubs and a lab coat," she said, biting her lip.

"Stop biting that lip or I'm gonna bite it for you."

"You're free to." She smirked and came around my desk, giving me a sound kiss on the lips. "But that's going to have to wait until later. Emily and I are working on something. Rose likes my ideas for the banquet so far, but we still have to work out the dessert menu."

I hated my sister for pleading with Bella to join Emily on putting together menus and help preparing the food for the charity banquet she was hosting. She told me it was the same team from her wedding and Bella was happy to see them again. She told me Bella was having a great time. Bella found it cute that I was checking up on her. My sister found it annoying and told me to fuck off and let Bella work. She was doing great and nothing was going to happen.

I hated my aunt for thinking it was a good idea. She saw the opportunity as Bella doing what she loved.

I especially despised my good friend, Zafrina for saying Bella was okay to work. She laughed at me when I told her that.

Don't get me wrong, I loved how happy it made Bella, I just didn't want her to overdo it. When I said she should fill her time, I meant light stuff like reading, making herself snacks for she and the baby and getting lots of rest. Bella was so energetic. She heard slept anymore. She slept the longest after we've had sex and that was it. My girl's sex drive was phenomenal. I couldn't tell you how many times I have woken up to her riding me or my cock being sucked. She was a sex fiend and my cock was the happiest thing on earth because of it. He loved to be fucked and sucked whenever she felt like it. No mind that they're gonna kill me in the process. As long as they got what they wanted. I shouldn't be complaining because if I died right now, it would be with a goofy grin on my face. My girl was naughty, sneaky and so damn hot all the time. Her breasts were about a cup size or two bigger. Her ass looked a little rounder in her jeans. She let her hair grow out again and it was more radiant and swimming at her spine. It was bouncy and wavy and I loved to feel it on my body, tickling me as she trailed her lips down my body.

I've got to stop thinking about these things or I'll want to have sex.

"Stop thinking. We can't have sex right now," Bella chided. I made her roll her eyes at me because I was watching her fix her bra through her shirt with a goofy grin on my face. She laughed, "Seriously, I've really got to go. I just wanted to bring you lunch, but you looked so good. Mmm! Love you." She kissed me and headed for the door.

"I love you too." She was out the door and I flopped back down in my chair, closing my eyes. I wanted to sleep.

There was a knock at my door. I didn't answer. The door was opened and then closed. "Should I take you to the hospital and admit you for dehydration and exhaustion?" Carlisle chuckled. I should be embarrassed about what just happened in my office, but I didn't give a fuck. I had a hot girlfriend who liked to assault me. I was a lucky fucker.

I gave him the finger with my eyes still closed. "How many people heard?" Who cares? I was thinking about Bella in the shower this morning. How good she looked through the steam. Her body was so beautiful. I should stop before I get a hard on.

"You've got a great nurse," he said. "Althea sent your fan club away the minute Bella walked in."

"So it's just you then?" I should really stop thinking about Bella. But I couldn't. I was thinking about how good her ass looked in her jeans as she walked out of my office just now.

"And Althea and Emmett," he said. "We stayed behind to tease you."

"Tease away," I opened my eyes, pushed my chair up, and told him. "I make no apologies about what just happened. Bella is incredibly hot and she wants me."

Carlisle laughed and shook his head at my blunt honesty. "I'm happy for you."

"I'm happy for me too." And I was going to fuck her when I got home if she wasn't too tired.

Carlisle laughed it off and then sighed. He grew serious and I knew this was about to turn into something I probably didn't want to talk about. "I wasn't just here to tease you despite you not being as quiet as you may think." He smirked and I wanted to knock it off his face.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"How are things?"

I knew what he was getting at but I was stubborn. "Fine. I'm happy."

"Don't bullshit me. You want rip shit apart, don't you?"

I chuckled darkly. "How do you and Bella do that?"

"Do what?"

"See through me."

"I guess we've got a gift," Carlisle shrugged. Although I had one secret. They haven't discovered yet. It had been back with a fury, and I had been doing my best to hide it. "But I know James not signing those papers is eating you alive. I know her mother coming down here to take her back to that hell is killing you, and Edward told me you bit his head off and threatened to break every bone in his body if he let anything like that happen again. As his brother, I don't really agree with that," he smiled.

"I'm not gonna break necessary ones," I laughed. "I was just angry, man. I wasn't thinking. Renee came down here and it's…it threw me through a loop. I guess I was always expecting James to make such a move. Not her. And the shit she was saying… I couldn't stand it. I knew if she were a guy, I'd hurt her. She was delusional. Although Bella said she was saying what James must've told her to say. I didn't care, Carlisle. I just wanted her gone. Things were going great before she showed up. I had it all planned and now it's been put on hold for I don't know long."

"Proposing to Bella?"

"Who told you?" I knew before I asked and we said simultaneously.

"Tanya."

"Yeah, but, I wanted to propose to Bella the day after Fourth of July. I know we can't get married yet and I don't give a shit how long I have to wait for her. I just wanted to…"

"Do it for the sake of you two moving forward," Carlisle supplied. "I get it. There's the baby, Bella is happy down here with you, and your life is finally falling into place, so these interruptions have got to be killing you. It's why I came to see you."

"Thanks, man." I breathed a sigh of relief. I thought it would be harder. I thought he would want to say more. I'm thankful he didn't. Carlisle could be an understanding guy.

"Sure."

Carlisle and I talked for a while. I got some shit off my chest, and by the time he left, I felt better. I stayed at the practice until seven in the evening, working on files. I was about to leave when the office phone rang. I answered on the second ring. "Dr. Whitlock speaking." There was breathing, the line was open, but the person wouldn't say anything. "Hello?" The person wouldn't answer. Just heavy breathing on the other end. "Hello?" I was about to hang up when he came on the line.

"You didn't send her back." My blood began to boil at the sound of his voice.

"Why should I?" I shouldn't be entertaining this. I should hang up. "Is there anything left for her in California?"

"Her husband, you fucking bastard!" he yelled and I smiled.

"What husband?"

"Because you tricked her into fucking you, doesn't make you anything," he hissed.

I shouldn't gloat. "I didn't trick her into anything. Bella knows what she wants and it's me. At least I don't have to torture her so I can get it up. I'm ready to go whenever she wants it." I was going overboard. I was goading him. I wanted the asshole to be dumb enough to come down here and attack me. I wanted a reason to get rid of him once and for all.

"You simple minded hick! I love my Marie! You're a fucking nobody! You tricked her! Used her! And you have the audacity to tell me about what you're doing to her?!" he screamed at me.

"I'm not forcing her to do anything!" I shouted back. "I'm not abusing or humiliating her, you sick fuck!"

"She will always be mine," he said calmly. The calm of it was very unsettling. This man was out of his mind. He was nothing like Renee claimed. If he was fooling the people on his side, he wasn't fooling me. He was a sick, pathetic bastard who would hurt Bella if I was stupid enough to let him get his hands on her. "She will always be mine. I will get her back. I will teach her a valuable lesson about betraying me. And then I will rip your child from her womb. I will murder you in front of her the way I did Garrett. She and I belong together. We'll be together forever."

We both stay silent until he hung up. I called Jenks and discussed what James just said. I contacted Sam and tell him to keep a close eye on Bella until I got home. My night would be ruined. I knew it. They were back and I couldn't tell her. I didn't want to upset her. The uncontrollable fear I've been feeling bubbled to the surface and I quickly push it down. I knew what I had to do. It would be hard and Bella was going to hate me for it, but I was thinking of her and the baby's safety…from me.

Bella and I will get through this. I wasn't going to let James win. Our lives depended on it.


End file.
